Enlightening Our Families With Iman
Channel: Hasan Ali
File Size: 12.10MB
Bismillah Al Rahman Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala nabina Muhammad wa ala
RO Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem
La Jolla, Morocco
Benin City and
in nama honey
bee Nam la Cana Samia zero. So the hula hula team, the respective brothers and sisters first said I want to go to la hora two
brothers and sisters, we come to a day and age that the time is moving very fast and things are taking over us.
And things are changing very rapidly. It took perhaps
maybe 100 years for the age of the camera and photography to establish itself. It took about 3040 years for the TV to establish itself. It took about 20 years for the satellite
era to establish itself, it took only probably about five to 10 years for the internet to establish itself, it took perhaps one or two years for the smartphone to establish itself. And now today, as we speak, is probably taking I know it has been created before, but with the latest hype is probably going to take a few months for Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies to probably take over the way we pay for things. Now what I'm trying to highlight from this is that times are moving very fast. And sometimes we are lagging behind the basics of what we need to move in such a time with our children, our children are equipped with and they we have to, we have to stop pretending that our children
should not become like us. So a lot of the times you will hear parents be moaning and saying that when we were small, we never used to do this when we were small, we never used to do that. Just forget it. Say the knowledge of the law Han said he said I will add to come lism and in high realism and he come out come up. And he said that your children are for an age or an era that is different from your era. Okay, and we have to understand this. This is the reality. They are the children of the Internet, and they are the children of the smartphone age, you cannot hide that fact, when we were small, we never had all of these fine. But our parents would have said to us that they never
saw us that they never had VCRs they never had satellite dishes. And I have never had many other things. So we have to understand that we are now with these children. And that's a fact. And that's a reality bemoaning is not going to change anything. So what is it that we have to do? I'm going to tell you, shockingly, that already we've got
the crimes that are being being committed through the smartphone in the last few years has increased from something which was about two to 3% to 25 to 30%. What we now talking about is that the police are dealing with a lot more crime through smartphones than they are with you know what they used to do before. Right? What we're also seeing is a massive shift in the way we are communicating with one another. Yesterday it was it was really important for us to have the BT telecom and you know, the weekend that was free and the evenings that were free and our uncles and aunts were on the you know, from from five or six o'clock or seven o'clock or little evening, today, parents are on their phones
literally from the morning till the evening. Now there is good in this and there is bad in this weather is bad in this is is when if we can actually have our own schedule for us as parents, and if you can't have a schedule in the home and if you don't have rules in place, then we will lose ourselves first, then our children next. And please don't think that our children are going to be lost before us know we lose ourselves first. I will tell you right now, if you have a rule in your house, that you're not going to allow any technologies or let's just say the pads and the phones and the you know, let's say smartphones and other things, whatever they might be might be TV, YouTube,
because these days, even TV has been redefined, is no longer a TV on a wall. It's the TV in your pocket. It's a TV, on your smartphone, on your pads and so on so forth. So TV has been redefined what it is. And we're all in one way watching something or not. So I'm going to tell you first is as a rule that needs to be established, which is if you can do this and be very good Monday to Friday, there is no reason why you need to engage yourself in any forms of technology for the house except for home.
work Monday through Friday, there is no reason there is absolutely no reason to, for these children to actually play on, if not through technology. And you're going to tell me that it's a bit harsh that is, well, no, I've established this in my house and I will tell you that it's worked for many years for us. And what you do is you replace the time for games with something that the family played together. So in my house, for example, I've got table tennis, I've got foosball I've got a pool table, I've got, you know, many board games, because it's really nice to actually interact with the children as opposed to being in an individual environment where you've got a you've got a
joystick in your hand, or controlling your hand and all you're doing is looking at the screen even if you're playing a multiplayer game, you're still isolated with the people that you're playing with even in the same room you're isolated because you're not actually looking at them if you have a set timetable of homework to be done first and then after that, you know you have a little bit of games whatever it is and then they go to bed Alhamdulillah now in that time Salah is a pillar that should never get compromised. I'm telling you that we living in a time line a lot of parents will pay 25 to 35 pounds tuition for their for their children for math science GCSE you know whatever preparation
it is, but you know the the the the most gets the bad end of the stick Okay, so if there is a book Islamic book that is to be charged they study a lot Why is the Islamic book being charged for you know, why are you charged with Islam should be free Islam should be free my friend that Iam also has a home to go to and he's got bills to play pay as well you know, just for a quick thing what I said to one parent to get their mind over this I said this book is only four pounds and they said four pounds four pounds is a lot of money. So I said okay, it's just the same price as a kebab bro.
The Cabal is going to go in your system within within you know, maybe 16 hours is going to be out okay? But this book will give you and your child a lifetime's worth of Islamic education. So we need to change the mentality now when it comes to actual you know when it when it comes to tuition they will give that but take take a hold of this investment is going in you know yeah, you know, the the 11 plus exams, investment is going to GCSE is necessary to get your children in the best colleges best university which is good. Alhamdulillah very good. However, if you're doing that, and at the same time, you're you're waking them up every morning, I will tell you this and let me let me do a
quick quick thing, who generally Monday to Friday, generally right now in this whole Monday to Friday, generally you get your kids up on time you get them to school on time. If you do that martial art, please put your hands up. Come on. Guys, you need standard don't don't send your kids to school like
guys, I'm asking you put your hands up if you get your kids to school on time. Lionel's good. Okay, let's go. That's that's almost all of you. Now tell me this, which parents make sure that when you're getting your kids ready for school on time, you make sure every morning that they've also got time for Voodoo and fudger within the time of fudger. Put your hands up.
Now there you go. There you go. There's about a third of you, or half of you that Put your hands up compared to the first lot that put their hands up. This is the reality if you're starting your morning and fudger which is far from Allah is not is not something that can get compromised. But the schooling time can never get compromised. So what Allah has said is, is there are certain people yes, the phone Amina NASS, while is the phone I mean, Allah, they they have fear of people, there were people, but they don't have the fear and awareness of Allah azza wa jal, and that's not what Allah azza wa jal told us to to be like that if that's the morning Let me ask you the second thing,
which is the night before, you know, some people have a problem getting a father, even whether it's youngsters or elders, and the thing to ask is not why you're having a problem getting up. It's what time are you going to bed that is the key question. If you have gone to bed the previous night before 11 o'clock, perhaps 10 o'clock. Not only have you given your body time to recover Not only does your liver get a very good recovering, not only do you get good sleep the best part of the night's sleep you will get is between about 10 o'clock and 12 o'clock in the in the night or perhaps till one o'clock. You will also feel refreshed in the morning you will wake up naturally for tahajud
and you will wake up in the morning and you'll be ready for the day. Okay. Now, early memories that I've got I want to share with you and I'm sure you've had a grandmother or grandfather or perhaps a father or mother who had this and I'm going to share this with you because these were my memories. I had a grandmother who when I was young when I was really young. She used to sit on the masala she had home masala in her little room she had okay she had the heater not right next to her. She would sit at the end of the day on a masala she had some
called Aviva. Okay, now before you guys throw me with the bidder on Yama, Shaq or Viva La la, you whatever you want to call it, because in the in Maasai Muslim certain Sahaba had his and his wasn't the Quran his it was any portion of reading they had and even Rasulullah sallallahu mentioned in a hadith he said Manama and his Bihi, Whosoever has fallen asleep and was unable to finish their the collection of recitation in the night, then they're able to do it before the vote of the next day. There's a sigh of relief in Muslim anyway, a collection of reading this grandmother had and she would make sure every night for about two hours, she was on the masala she used to read it, okay,
she used to rock she used to read it, and then she would finish you know, and you know, those days, they probably kiss kiss it as well place it. That's what I remember. She's the kiss aid and you do have to squeeze put it aside. And then it was for her. She had a little bit of a little bit of chat with my mother and then she would go to sleep and should be affected. My early memories of my father is he would wake me up for hives. This was when I was about 12 years old, he would wake me for him. And he would wake me up at about 530 and I would hear him crying after tahajjud taking every son's name his daughter's name, which is my sister and he would make draw I will make my this son this
magnet that son this and he would like to be crying for half an hour after his tahajjud nonstop every morning. I should remember this. Now these are my memories. Okay. Alhamdulillah my memories of my father of my grandmother. I'm asking you are we live in an age where our children they go to bed but their memory is that I saw my mother on her phone The last thing I saw my father on his pad one of his computer The last thing Okay, then our children wake up in the morning and they see the mother asleep or the father asleep or they know that they're getting up but there's no sort of you know, Dean hardly except for the Salah that is done like what Rasulullah sallallahu said cannot
predict because you can do different forms of Salah you can do a Salah that you believe is your last prayer or you can do a Salah which you believe is just a tick box and you're getting out of the way. And I will tell you children know when you enjoy your Salah and children know when you don't enjoy your Salah they really know this, they know what your values are, if your values are GCSEs they know that mum and dad they want me to get my GCSE is more than the hips that they put me through. And I know some of us have put our children in hives, but they have calculated that they know that as long as they do five us hives, then it's okay and after that even if I don't keep up with it, then
they're not going to be so bothered but I better get my you know GCSE is done I better get my you know, a levels to do what my parents want. Otherwise I'm you know, I'm not gonna have a good life. All right. According to my parents, they know the values, they've already measured the values, what is it that our children have seen from us? That is something to do with the value system. And because when I studied psychology, I did an MA in psychology, one of the things we studied is the parents expectations have a massive effect on the children's expectations. They've done tests on parents and they've done tests on teachers, and where parents have got a high expectation that
children end up having higher than normal expectations. And where parents have low expectations in any field for their children. Their children also have a low expectation and this test has been proved again and again from 1968 it's been done again and again. And the same results have come back. Okay. Now I want to say to you what are our values if our values of Deen become this and I want to give you a quick summary the value of Deen is all go and get your salad done. Right if it's just that and the child is doing the Salah, but but they don't they never see me do a Salah with huzhou they never see me enjoying my Salah, then guaranteed the child would go up, down, up, down,
up down and finish the Salah. If I don't do my now I feel at home, if I don't do my son at home, guaranteed my children will not do so even if the mother is wearing a hijab, on and off guaranteed that the daughter will be at best on and off with a job at worst no job at all. If the father is actually using foul language in the house, whenever he gets angry, then the children have already put that in the system as bullets to be used next time they get angry. And when you start telling your children Hey, you know,
through mosquito like Eli, you know, you start saying what do you do?
Then you got to understand that they learned it from somewhere. They learned it from us and they take these things and when I studied psychology, there's a whole social behavior system that many psychologists have put down as the children will look they'll see they'll copy there will be a carbon copy of what they've seen. That's all it's really not their fault. I have seen Alhamdulilah houses and
Not just just you know how I've set my house. I've seen many houses where salon time never shifts. There must drop everything there and then for Salah now if that's the case Alhamdulillah you put a massive pillar of the deen in your house and its place it's in its place is good for the parents as well as the children to have the salon never shifting from its place. No delays, no compromises salon time has come just drop it and get your salon done. cedra Amaro de la Hannah would dismiss his Governor's if they went slack in their Salah. Why? Because he said, One Two Salah goes, many other things will go out of the way. And if you look, I've seen this in a few cases where a woman's hijab
has become loose. She used to be very careful how she used to hide her hair whenever she came out. And over time, over perhaps five to 10 years time, this mother I saw her and her has her hijab became slightly loose. When I spoke to her family, I found out the first thing that shifted in the house was her Salah. So what would normally happen is you compromise on your number field, you then compromise on your sunan so you miss them more and more, then you compromise on delaying your fault. This is a systematic thing that the shaytan takes anybody through. So you delay your farm, then you start missing your farm. So sometimes you miss the fudger starts with father a lot because you're
you know you slept too late last night. You waking up too late this morning next morning. So what happens is father gets shifted first and then a shot begins. So you get too tired. Sometimes for Asia, you give priority to things that are not supposed to be a priority. And the priority element is a very important thing for the entire family homework time homework. Okay. Imam Shafi Rahim Allah said this, he put it straight. He said, If you have everything all over the place during the day, then you're not going to be able to achieve everything. But if you put it categorically in its place, then you will be able to get it done. Imam Shafi Rahim Allah had a system where between Asad
and Muslim, he would revise 10,000 a Hadith, whether he actually recited all of them, or he just went over them in his mind, he used to go over 10,000 ahaadeeth between us and Muslim. If you look at Rasulullah sallallahu, his time is 24 hours, you will find that there's a daily system that you had, I want to say when kids come home, the system should be first you know, eat together, okay, eat together at the table, talk to one another. Next. What you do is get their homework, let them do their homework. After that, have some time for a bit of Dean bit of the night only takes five to 10 minutes. I will ask any family here please get a book called riada Salahuddin. It's a book widely
available as a good translation from darussalam. Get that book and in the house five to 10 minutes never more than five, never more than 10 minutes, and no less than five minutes. You sit as a family at seven o'clock or something. whatever time it is, everyone's together, open the book, let everybody read whatever had ether is and just read the Hadith and just carry on with reading a hadith where you don't understand the Hadith put a little mark there come to your local Masjid talk to the Imam and understand what that Hadith was but most a hadith in there are self explanatory they're quite easy five to 10 minutes Hadith you've got have Salah Bill jamara so if as a as a
father if you're not going to come out to the masjid and you want to get the discipline inside your house, then please have Salah in the House Bill Gemma Gemma might stab mala follow him, you know what he said? He said, normally there's a whole debate about family planning. But he said in this country, this is a 70 year old chef that said this to me who was from Pakistan, who led his whole life in Pakistan. But when he came to this country, he saw that he saw the situation and said this, he said Hassan he said, I believe family planning should be part of Britain. And I said Why? He said because it's not because of poverty. It's not because the people can't afford to have children. Now,
he said for one reason simply that we're living in houses that are that will a lot with us and our future children. If we don't have family planning, we will be living with one parent or two parents at their best in a house where tarbiyah was originally done by an entire clan, okay, entire clans issue to tarbiat grandfather was their uncle was their aunt is what they said in this country. It's such that when the father's outside working is only the mother when the mother and father both have to go to work. It's nobody's a nanny, or it's you know, sending them to one house to another house to let come out from work. And he said, if people have children, and they're not able to just give
them the minutes, just write them in for me, if people don't have you know, if people have children, and they're not able to have proper family planning and they're not able to do the therapy. Then he said that is a very clear pathway that their children could go towards Cofer towards disbelief. And we've already seen this. Okay. I'm gonna ask you brothers and sisters, a very big thing you have to do for your children. Essentially.
them to a very good mucked up system. Okay, a mother system, macro system, whatever you want to call, call it. And I want to I want you to do this, you're going to ask me well which one's a very good macro system? It's a very simple thing. If you want to find out the best school best mothers or best boarding school, best local Masjid mothers or it's a very simple way to find out don't just go out look for the adverts don't look out for you know who's sending all the kids summer No, that's not the way to look out for it. The way to look out for it is you go to the Moto the madrasa Okay, and you go at seven o'clock or you go at the end, whenever it is weekend, weekday, whatever it is,
when the parents are coming out, just go and say Salaam to one of the parents say how many children have you got in here? How many children have you had in here? Look for the family members that have had their kids in non Mokhtar for five to 10 years or who have graduated from that then ask him a question. How was your experience how is the child is praying in Salah has he found that the deen is is enriched inside his soul in his body and so on. And if they tell you the stories, gather the stories from the local masters all the mattresses and based on what you hear from the parents after school. That's your best way to know what the mother is doing right don't follow any other advice
and so on. This is the best way to find out like if you want to go to Hajj don't just go to this 100 sites now find out someone who went to Hajj this year and ask them what was your experience scholars and if you find multiple people telling you that the experience was good with one place Alhamdulillah just go with that Nutella calm go with that. So good marked up system is is really important please. I would say these modalities where you've got only three to four hours are not enough in my view. If you've got another set in the week that's got seven hours, six hours minimum I would say if not seven hours in the week of time. That is a good sufficient time if they've got the
you know if they've got the things together right if they've got the whole educational system right However, once the mocked up system is there Our duty is not over my brothers I'm telling you this I've really just got about three minutes left. I'm telling you this in my husband hamdulillah my children have to say all that was allowed you come in the house that allow my near silica hydrology what hydrometallurgy between la isla de la la la la la. La is become a normal thing. When we leave the house when when when they eat have food when they finish food when they wake up when they go to sleep. All these drugs are there. Then when I'm taking my child to school early in the morning he
has to say his morning draws okay i Subhana Allah Allah Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, all these drawers in the morning alojamento de la la la LA County, that whole thing alarmingly such as silica raffia. Akira, that one otherwise that assume la sala last wish to say in the morning, he better say them loudly in his system. It's in his system say this because apart from that tilava and Kira are two separate things in your mcta madrasa that the teacher is concerned about the Kira Don't be a parent whose goal is to finish the Quran from beginning to end. That's para tilava is a continuous recitation that continues throughout the ages, with my children, with the children that I teach that
I've made it very clear to the parents that Tillakaratne two different things, your child will never finish a score and with me ever from beginning to end, no matter even if he's with me for 12 years. That's pyrrha I will listen to that with Ted read very slowly, but your child at when he's learned to read, I will tell him to finish his Quran several times at home and he will not have he will not have a reason to leave the madrasa because he's finished the Quran that must be a partner every day, get the tilava inside the children that you know go away come to you tilava, whether it's a page, two pages, wherever they can do tilava is part of life. Now we can come very brief thing in one
minute we can come What do you do, you have your system with homeworks and other activities and have the windows for them to play with shifts of not more than one and a half to two hours at any one time. And if they play the games, they've got the games of the console games and other things that they really want to do, or they want to watch something they do that but everything must be controlled, I will have to say to you look, I've done this test again. And again, I'm not going to do the test right now. One third of parents, only one third of parents will give a smart function to their children have a shared passcode two thirds of parents have no shared passcode with the 11 year
old 10 year old. I've done the stats over and over again. And it's always come at the same result. I want to ask you, those of you 66% sitting here who haven't shared the passcode with their youngsters who don't care up to 60 In fact, in my house, I've told my 13 year old he's not getting a smartphone till he's beyond 16 I'll just decide what they after 16 I give him his phone. Okay, all his friends in school have got a smartphone but I haven't given but I've explained
Nice to him. We've been uh, you know, I've had to spend a lot of time with him if you're there you spending time you playing other games with him? You know he's Marshall is very good at table tennis. He beats me I have to say that right? If I beat him improve, right, we probably equal in foosball. We have other games on you have a laugh. So you know the time is filled with other things. But he doesn't have a smartphone the day he gets it. I'm going to have his passcode to it right now. I've got a passcode to his laptop is not because I'm spying not because I'm making you know, a life difficult is simply because he's too young to know how to navigate himself through life. We've given
him independency we don't go and spy on him. But now when again, something comes up that he's joined the social network through his pad something and then we have a nice word with him. There's no need of scolding him. No need of telling us just talk nicely as long as he's honest with us. Alhamdulillah you can take the kids through that does not matter.