Haleh Banani – Stop The Cycle of Emotional Breakdown #19

Haleh Banani
AI: Summary © The importance of emotional immaturity and self-awareness in achieving good character is crucial for achieving success in life. emotional maturity is crucial for managing behavior and creating chaos, and one's success in personal relationships is crucial for building one's character. The importance of considering one's emotions and maintaining a positive mindset is also crucial. The "row couldn't have done that without the commitment to their values and the success of their "row program."
AI: Transcript ©
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Salam Alaikum and welcome to mindful Ramadan 2021 and we are on day 26 Can you believe that it has gone it's been like a blink of an eye this Ramadan Masha Allah and I pray that Allah accepts all your the oz your beyond your fasting, the reading of the Quran. And I pray that these sessions and these lessons are transforming your heart and your character. So please let me know if you can hear me and see me so we can get started. We need to the chat is not coming up. If we can, if you can let me know if you are. Everything's going well. And also, if you could do me a favor and just if you're watching right now, you can push hashtag live, okay, and if you're watching this as a replay, put

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hashtag replay, it's a small ask but it it really helps out. And so we just I need to be able to see the chat, which is

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I need to open up another one. It's okay. All right. So in short life, I appreciate you all joining in. We're about to get started breaking the cycle of emotional breakdown. Bismillah was salat wa salam ala rasulillah. What happens to you when things don't go your way? When people annoy you or upset you? What's your default response? I want to know how do you react when there is a disagreement when there is criticism? Or if there's a fight? Do you yell? Do you cry? Do you have an emotional breakdown?

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It is at times of conflict that a person's true character shines through. This is one of my all time favorite quotes and what I live by, because I feel that it is during those times of conflict, that you really see someone's character. It's easy to be nice. It's easy to be friendly. It's easy to be polite when others are being that way. But what do you do when there is that conflict? What if you learned to keep it together? Even when everything was falling apart? What if you were to stay calm, collected and caring, even when others are out of control? And what if you could break the cycle of emotional breakdown not that would be powerful? No being in charge of your emotions is one of the

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most empowering feelings. Most people regressed to acting like a child when they're upset. But those who learn to remain an adult, maintain their composure and act in a dignified manner. There are no regrets, no guilt, no feelings of remorse. You feel centered, peaceful, God conscious. Since you're centered, you're able to ensure your best character since you're calm, you're able to behave in a way that's pleasing to Allah. Since you're in control, you're able to spiritually ascend through the conflict. Wow. Imagine being able to ascend spiritually when you're tested with a conflict because your emotions are in check. So it's really critical for us to reflect on this on how we act on how

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we are reacting to our emotions because the emotions that having control of our emotions is really the prerequisite of good character. We've been talking all along about good character and how character counts and with each act of worship, it should affect our character. We want to see what is the litmus test of our of our prayers and rpm and our reading of the Quran being accepted is has a change the way we behave.

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with others has it changed the way that we look at life and how we are dealing on a day to day basis. So first, we're going to talk about emotional immaturity, two groups of people, there's the emotionally immature people, and then there's the emotionally mature, so emotional immaturity and emotional maturity. And when you are very honest with yourself, and this is, you know, this is all about being authentic. It's about being real with yourself and recognizing, are you emotionally immature? Is there emotional immaturity going on? I'm going to tell you a little bit about emotional immaturity. This is when a person

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is very egocentric. Everything is about them. They might be very moody, right? A person who is emotionally matured, is moody. They have emotional tantrums, when things don't go their way. There is blame. There's no conflict resolution, it's really all about, do it my way, or else I'm going to make you miserable. I have actually, you know, I've heard people say this, I've heard people. And I've worked with 1000s of people across the globe. And I have seen individuals who really struggle with this and emotional immaturity. And they will say, you know, if something doesn't go my way, the way I deal with it is I make everyone miserable until they also come. And this is very

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dysfunctional. We can't live our lives like this, we cannot ascend spiritually, if we are holding people hostage with our emotional breakdowns, we're not earning the reward of Allah, if everyone around us is tiptoeing, and so careful, and they think it's like, it's like an emotional minefield right? And that one wrong move One wrong word, and there's going to be an explosion. So I want you to recognize if you have emotional immaturity, the first step is what recognizing, recognizing, and I love it when my clients come in, and they're telling me about the issues that they have. I'm like, you know what, you're halfway there, because you've admitted that you have a problem. And you've

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admitted that you need to improve. So, this is the emotional immaturity. Now, what about emotional maturity? emotional maturity is a person who has self awareness, you know, we are repeatedly told in the Quran to reflect, to ponder, to contemplate, and we have to contemplate about ourselves. When you know yourself, as you know yourself, you get to know and appreciate a wall more. So we have to have a self awareness, we have to know what triggers us, what is making us the way we are and the more you know yourself. And I have found this to be completely amazing, I got exposed to psychology when I was only 16, my first psychology class and I fell in love with the subject. And it's been a

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30 year passion of mine, studying and learning and becoming more self aware. And as I become more self aware, it affects every relationship in my life.

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And an emotionally mature person has control over their emotions, they are not at the mercy of their emotion that, Okay, I'm gonna be very pleasant, I'm going to put on a good show until someone really upsets me. And then I have no control. Many clients will tell me, I really didn't have control over what I said over what I did. That's why you know, some people will fall into domestic violence. Some people will say hurtful words, some people will pronounce divorce, they will do all sorts of things in that state of anger. And in that state of lack of control. So you find that the breakdown of relationships is when a person is emotionally immature, they don't even know how to solve the

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simplest of problems. And so when they're faced with these challenges, when something comes up, whether it's in their marriage, whether it's with their children, whether it's in the community, they completely lose it. So we need to be emotionally mature. We need to realize that we need to control our emotions, we need to be in the driver's seat. You should never get to a point where you say, I really I have no control, right? And it's about staying calm in the chaos. There's lots of chaos. Lots of chaos around us right now, especially during a pandemic. We have people who are either extremely anxious or they're extremely depressed, or they just still they are so overwhelmed

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with negativity, but when you are an emotionally mature

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person, you are calm, even in the chaos. And that will give you the ability, the ability to choose your words, the ability to choose your reactions, the ability to act with consciousness. You don't want to go through life reacting, you don't want to be impulsive, you don't want to just say whatever feels good, because those moments, those are the moments that will destroy you, when you just simply react when you are simply just

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acting out your emotions, that is the downfall. Okay, and an emotionally mature person. Is God conscious, that God consciousness is so critical. It's so critical for us to be aware. We need to be aware you know, we're all at a heightened awareness of this God consciousness like is shot up right maybe before Ramadan where we're just you know, barely making it maybe not that aware maybe very heedless, maybe maybe some people were like consumed in sin some people were consumed with you're not really caring or connecting that rope to Allah was very, very flimsy now Masha, Allah Tabata, Allah, no matter how much you're doing, now, it's better in sha Allah than where it was right before

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we started.

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And so you have this God consciousness. And that is so important for us to maintain the rope to Allah, we have to hold on tight to the rope of Allah. And when you have that, it will keep you in line, it will remind you that Allah is watching. Allah is listening to your words, Allah is seeing everything. You know how people put on a nice show, when they're at the masjid, when they're amongst their friends. When they are in public areas, they put on a really nice show. And then behind closed door, it's a different person. So Jacqueline, hi. I had a client actually come in and tell me very honestly, it's like, you know, I'm so respected in the community. I'm constantly You know, I'm

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praying every prayer at the masjid. But I want to tell you, I am Jekyll and Hyde. I'm a different person at home. And I've seen this I've seen this with so many people, that they're completely different, completely different. When they're when they are at home. Why? Because they feel no one's watching. Okay, now Now I can be myself now I don't need to put on that smile. Now I don't need to put on that front. But when you are God conscious, you know that Allah is watching all the time. 24 724 seven, there's everything's being recorded. And when we realize that, that we wake up, we wake up that just because you go into your home, just because you close the door, just because

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you're behind, you know, you're you're in a dark room, doesn't mean that no one is seeing you. Allah is watching. And that God consciousness is what will make you have emotional maturity, that emotional maturity. So how do we attain this? It sounds really nice, right? I want to be I want to be calm in the chaos, I want to have that sense of connection with a law and that, you know, I want to I want to be in control my emotions, I don't want to, I don't want to keep regretting what I've said, I don't want to regret what I've done. It sounds really great. But how, right, and that is what I focus on. This is what I specialize in, is teaching you the how, because theoretically, you

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just sit there and say sister have more patients sister have more tawakkol sister have more our brother, you know, brother be, uh, you know, keep it together. Control your anger brother, right? Well, we're in a bind, because this is stuff that, you know, people have had this pattern of behavior for decades, decades of the wrong pattern of behavior. How do you break free from that? It's not enough to just say, you know what, I'm not going to get angry anymore. I'm going to be more patient, we need to have the tools. That's why it's so critical to have the psychological tool. It's so critical to know how to how to manage this, how do we master this so that we can be amongst those

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individuals, we want to be in the right group, right? You always want to be in the right group. You know, you want to be amongst the students who are passing and not just passing, they're passing with honors, you want to be, you want to be recognized and acknowledged, right? You don't want to be amongst those who failed. You don't want to be the ones who have to repeat the year. Right? So same thing that we want to be amongst the people who are emotionally mature. And how do we get there. It's through emotional intelligence. That the more

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You understand emotions, the better you're going to be able to manage all this, you know, before it was all about was my IQ. It was all about the IQ, right? Who is the smartest? Who scores the highest? on these exams? We're going to hire that person, because he's smart, he's going to be really successful? Well, what they found out is that there's something even more important than the IQ. And that's the EQ, the emotional intelligence, emotional quotient, that how smart Are you in dealing with people? How smart are you, in knowing yourself? How smart Are you in interacting with people, because if you have all the intelligence of the world, you could be a genius, you know, I

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have done research and I have worked with individuals, and I've done the intellectual assessment. And I have, I have met quite a few geniuses. And those individuals, you know, they fall into those two categories. Some of them are just pure geniuses, and they didn't have they had the emotional immaturity, but then there were some who had Mashallah, they were geniuses, but they also had the emotional maturity. And that combination, that is powerful, but if someone simply has the emotional intelligence, they're far ahead, they are far ahead. And you know, that companies will choose a person will choose a person with emotional intelligence, over a person with just high IQ. So this is

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not just fluff on talking about you guys. This is stuff that's going to build your future, it's going to build your your doing Yeah, and it's going to build your IRA. Because when you have that emotional intelligence, you know, how to deal with people, you know, how to resolve conflict, you know, if you have a client, and there's an issue that comes up, you know, exactly what to say how to say it. And when you do that, when you have that ability, you will succeed inshallah. So there are five aspects to emotional intelligence, we only have time to go through a two of them today, okay. But in my my mentorship program, the mindful Hearts Academy, emotional intelligence, I could talk

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for hours and hours about this. And there's a whole phase right with over I think, eight or nine lessons about just emotional intelligence, because there's so much to say about it's such a, such a fascinating topic, and it's something I'm extremely passionate about. So I'm going to talk about two of them, I'll say all five, but then we'll focus on to self awareness, their self regulation, there is motivation, okay? motivation, empathy, and,

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and social skills. Okay? So with the self awareness, with the self awareness, you find that you have to find out, what is it? What is it that triggers you? what triggers you, okay? Because if you don't know yourself, if you don't know, what is bothering you, and if you don't know what makes you happy, then you're going to be in trouble. And what does what happens within what happens within a lot of relationships is that the person doesn't even know themselves, and they're bothered that their spouse can't make them happy. Because they don't even know themselves, the more you know, yourself, the better people are at making you and making you more content are fulfilled, right? That Happiness

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is your responsibility, you have to take responsibility for your own happiness. But you always have to ask yourself, you know, why am I feeling this? So self awareness is like, if you have like this feeling of all sudden you feel sadness in your heart, then you wonder, why, why am I you know, why am I feeling this way? And most people just kind of shrug it off, and they're like, Oh, I don't know, I'm just I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I'm just having a bad day. But you know, what I can assure you, I can assure you that there is a reason for every feeling that you have. And this is one of the things that I I train the students, the members on the mindful Hearts Academy, how to

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recognize how to recognize those emotions, how to trace it back to the incident, and knowing this and you do this on a regular basis, then you are in the captain's seat of your emotions. You're not thinking oh my god, I don't know. It's just like a wave and like, you know, I'm just like a I'm a leaf in the wind and I go and I don't know when I'm high on a high when I'm on a low it just a lot of people who go through life this way. They really just feel like their emotions is some really, it's ambiguous and it's just some kind of mysterious thing. No, there's there's so much you can learn in

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How to understand yourself. What are the emotions, right, the emotions to have? And then when you trace it back, okay? I'm feeling sad because because let's say so and so didn't respond to me, I'm feeling angry because he raised his voice at me, I'm feeling a little bit, you know, I'm feeling a little bit frustrated, because, you know, let's say my children are not responding to me or they're not acting the way I want them to. And once you know, you know that then it's just like, okay, it all make sense. My emotions are not just happening to me, it's not just like a wave that comes over me for no apparent reason. It's not arbitrary, but I know where it's coming from. And once you know,

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then leads to the next thing, which is self regulation. self regulation is you choose your reactions, we need to really stop being impulsive, we need to stop reacting, right? There's the triple p I want to teach you. And I just had one of the members on the mindful Hearts Academy. Talk about this and say how this truly changed her entire Ramadan. Right entire Ramadan. It's what she had learned and mindful heart, she's like this change the triple P. Pause, ponder and project. Okay. You have to pause between stimulus and response. There is a pause button. Okay. Viktor Frankl said this. And we need to recognize that we need to pause don't just don't, don't just snap back, don't

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just react don't just I'm going to let them have it, you get a tax, you're angry, don't respond, don't do it. Don't send that email when you're upset. Now I've had situations where you Someone may say something extremely offensive, and it's a it's a text.

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Yeah, and sometimes, you know, every ounce of you wants to respond back. Let the person have it. I say you know what, I'm going to pause, I'm going to do some deep breathing. I even sometimes wait overnight, the next day, I have a clear mind. And I can think I can get a look at all the different options, all the different consequences. And then I choose my words carefully. When you're in a state of anger. When you're in a state of you know, just being very frustrated. You're not going to say the right things, you're going to make a lot of mistakes, you're going to burn bridges, you're going to hurt feelings, you're going to end up sending, right. So we need to first pause. The second

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thing is you have to ponder, ponder, we have to think we have to think the Prophet sallallahu Sallam always thought before he spoke, he was a man of few words, but when he spoke, it weighed so heavily because it was all it was like valuable gems. And he really exemplified what it means to be emotionally intelligent. He knew how to respond to each person, he knew how to bring out the best in them, how to motivate them. And that emotional intelligence is what we we aspire to be. That is part of the reason that I is so motivated to do this, the mentorship program is so we need to we need to really aspire for that. We need to be like the prophets, Allah, the Salah, and we need the *,

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right? We can't just be told have more tawakkol sister or control your anger brother, that's not going to do it. We need the step by step. So we said pause. Ponder, think about the consequences. You're saying this right now. Brother, you're saying I divorce you this this has grave con consequences. Sister you yell back at your husband and you know us. You do some name calling this is going to have some consequences. Think it through ponder, right? And then that lasting project that project then you psych. So now you know what you want to do. You've thought it through, you know the consequences. Now you can now you can confidently and calmly respond to it. Right. So that has a lot

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to do with the emotional intelligence. There's also you know, the motivation, the empathy, social skills, as I said, I could go on for hours about this. So I'm going to keep it to these two points for our discussion, right. And we have to recognize that what is the role of emotional intelligence and good character? Why am I tying this together? Why is it coming up now? Because the prerequisite to good character is emotional intelligence. It is a prerequisite. If you don't have emotional intelligence if you don't if you're not self aware, if you're not regulating your emotions,

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If you don't know even how to deal with conflict, that is going to be your downfall. I don't care how much worship you do, I don't care how much you you know, how much liquor you do, how many times you've read the ER on how many I don't know, as car you do during the day, if you don't take control of your emotional state, then what's going to happen, you'll be fine. Everything will be just, you know, just nice, until someone triggers you, until someone criticizes you until you have a conflict, and then what's going to happen, all of that all of the worship that you did is not going to serve you unless, unless you actually learn to control your emotions. So when you start controlling your

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emotions, when you recognize that you know why I'm here is watching me, doesn't matter. If I'm behind my closed door, I'll have you know, the surveillance camera, Allah is always on in every corner of the earth. And it's always on and is so much more valuable than what some would people think about you at the masjid is so much more valuable than what you know what your friends think of you. This is your, your, your emotional grade, your spiritual grade, you know, we've stressed so much over the GPA and your, your the grades and the accomplishments. Why is our grade without law? What is our spiritual grade? What is our emotional grade, and I'm not just talking about the list of

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worship that has been the, you know, this whole, this Ramadan, the mindful Ramadan has been about taking us beyond that right beyond the worship.

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Because you could do those lists, and that will count and you're getting rewarded for the worship. But until we make that shift, and start focusing also on our character, until we do that we're not getting the full reward. So imagine there's $100,000 reward, but it takes two steps. 100,000 reward $100,000 reward, but it takes two steps. And one is the worship so that okay, you do the worship, you get 50,000. But when you correct your character, you get the full 100,000 No, sometimes people are are driven and motivated when something is tangible when they see it when, when there's a price tag to it. But what we don't see, we don't see the price tag on a good character. We don't recognize

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how powerful it is. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said this is going to be the heaviest on the scale on the Day of Judgment. It he didn't say it's the prayer he didn't say is this. He says the head job. He didn't say it's the long beard. He didn't say it's your degrees. He said the heaviest thing on the scale is a good character. And where are we as an oma and our good character? Where are we? How are we treating one another brothers and sisters? How are we? Are we implementing even that one had the love for your brother? What you love for yourself? Do we even implement that? Do we even implement that? When we are faced with challenges? When we are tested in different ways? Are we

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applying that just that one heavy? How would I want someone to be acting in that situation? How would I want someone to either let's say, defend me? How would I want someone to, you know, to deal with me? If it's a business transaction, wouldn't you want that person to be completely honest and completely, you know, giving you your rights? Right. And we have the reverse side, Whalen liquidity home.

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wialon liquidly homas, that in lomasa, right? That woe to those who are out there, they're kind of blinking at each other and they're making fun of each other. They're making fun not recognizing that Allah is watching them. And while and when we think about the motor 15. You know, we think about those individuals who are actually they are not giving the right amount, right? And we usually look at it from the aspect of business that okay, they're weighing, they're weighing the green, the rise and then like they're either overcharging or under charge. There's just there's that element of taking what is not yours. But we have this in our day to day interactions as well. Are we giving?

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Are we thinking Win win? Are we thinking Win win in all situations? Are we thinking I want to win and that person can lose, and it doesn't matter? Right? So this really makes us more aware and win

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Think about it, if you are serious, if you are serious if you want to continue your journey on self development on character building, and, you know, it's this is just the beginning. And the most important thing is to maintain a momentum, right? Right now we're all we're all on a spiritual high and hamdulillah we are motivated, we have changed so much of our behavior, when we wake up, when we sleep, when we eat, like everything has been, you turned around, and we have, we have succeeded in that, Mashallah. And we can keep our momentum to keep the momentum if you want to continue your self development journey, and the character building, then knowing that the how to write the how to build

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your character, the how to avoid your anger, the How to in gaining your emotional intelligence, I want to invite you to be a part of a phenomenal sisterhood. And my mentorship program is called the mindful Hearts Academy. And you will learn the step by step on how to build your self esteem, how to gain emotional mastery, and to be your absolute best. This is something that really is like my all time favorite project I've ever worked on and handed in law. It started two years ago, two years ago, after Ramadan, I felt like you know, everyone talks about how they want to keep going, they want to keep this spirituality, they want to keep it at their self improvement, but then, you know,

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it all goes away the day after he then I thought this will be a perfect opportunity, we keep the momentum. And it's been a incredible journey. And I would love for you to to join and also be a part of this and make a commitment, make a commitment that you will continue to work on yourself beyond Ramadan, beyond Ramadan, because you know, it's it's easy to be good for a month, it's easy to keep it together. But what about beyond that? Because the really the litmus test of our, our worship counting is how are we maintaining our character? has our character change? Are we better to people? Are we more pleasant? Are we more calm? Are we more patient, and if that's the case, if you can

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compare yourself before Ramadan, and you compare yourself to now, and if you are better, that means your worship is actually you're getting the full reward because you're working on yourself. And I would love to have you on this program in sha Allah, the mindful hearts doc. And if you come to holla banani.com, go under courses. And you will find this the registrations are open, I've made it very accessible because now I have a limited amount of time to do one on one counseling. And actually, it This all started with many people reaching out to me saying they you know, let's say they want to work with me, but maybe they can't afford the one on one sessions. Maybe they you know,

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there's not enough time. And so this was an attempt to really help as many people as possible to build the self esteem to do all of these amazing things to help each person be their best and it's very accessible. It's very easy. And you could be a part of an incredible sisterhood. And I'm going to see some of the comments if you have any. If you have any questions or comments about this, please You know, please let me know. And I will be happy to answer it. I just have to make sure that the questions are showing up. So the thing is,

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Okay, here we go. I can see it here. All right.

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This Okay, we have an interval saying some people don't change even in Ramadan, they can control their anger and they're taught that it's a sad reality. It is a sad reality because I will all have clients who will tell me about their worship and their worship is just unbelievable. It's like when do you even sleep? It's they do it all. But then they end up you know, lashing out at their, their spouse. They end up you know, getting physical and you just feel like see this is why that connection has not been made the link of worship to good character. That's the missing link. And because it's not there, they continue to act however they you know, however they want we have sister

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Nadia saying I am a member of the mindful hearts for two years and I have learned so much and hamdulillah every lesson has been valuable. There's like a lot here sister Nadia. I'm so glad you have benefited and and Masha Allah, it's makes me so happy to hear that. Let's see. Sister Adriana is saying isn't it the whole purpose of our

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To gain control over ourselves to make the right choices to strive and struggle so that we can we have a deep connection with Allah. Absolutely. Sister Adriana is another member of the mindful Hearts Academy. Mashallah, it is our purpose to do that. But many times people kind of lose sight of that they lose sight and sister no shaba heaviest thing in the grade and the Day of Judgment is our character. Yes, sister ness. shaba is another member muscle that we have a lot of members of the mindful Hearts Academy. So feel free to ask questions and have them answer. Sister Jessica, one of my favorite things about Islam and one of the most life changing, doing the internal work exactly.

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And that's what the mindful Hearts Academy it's all about. It's about doing the internal work. Many people didn't have maybe the upbringing to instill self esteem, emotional intelligence, they didn't have the examples. Maybe they never studied it, right? Many people are being exposed to, you know, to psychology, and they're very mesmerized by it. And it's like the, you know, first time there may be delving into it. I can tell you this 30 year, passion that I've had for psychology has absolutely changed me. And that's why I wanted it to be accessible to everybody. I wanted everyone to have the skills these. Yep, it should like everyone should learn this because it will change your life and

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hamdulillah we have

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let's see. If you have any questions, how can I be a member? Great question.

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Sister all I love if, if one of the lovely sisters could put the link and you just sign up Registration is open. And we would love for you to be a part of it or not what salon is the mindful Academy available all over the world? I am in Cape Town. Absolutely. It is. It is open worldwide and you can join us online. We have many sisters from South Africa, Ma sha Allah so we're happy to have that. Have you be a part of it? May Allah subhanho wa Taala show them the right path and change our hearts towards other people Mashallah sister Holly are doing a brilliant work does like the law fit on 100 and lots. One sister is saying as how many Come sister, may I share your episode to others,

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as it is valuable lesson? Yes, please press share. Actually, there's something that I forgot to mention, but it will really help others because this is like such an important part of our part of our you know, journey is learning to have a better character. And if they, you know, even if they missed out, you don't have to miss out because I want to tell you that I know that run the thought is a very hectic time. And I know that it's it's hard to you know, make it to all the live lessons to watch. There's so many Mashallah valuable, valuable programs that are going on. So it can be a little bit overwhelming. So if you weren't able to catch all the lives or you want to start from the

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beginning and take this very seriously, you can actually have access, lifetime access to all of those amazing, amazing interviews with all those beautiful sisters, they, they're their scholars, they are speakers, they are just incredible. And and you can watch them so it's just a matter of making a small donation 100% goes to the refugees, homeless, homeless Muslims, and it's such a pleasure, this is our you know, season two of doing a mindful Ramadan. And this year, we decided to do a fundraiser and and it just it's been so exciting. We are actually at if I'm not mistaken, close to like, 25,800 goal is 30,000. So if you all can help support this so we can reach our goal. And by

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donating, you actually get lifetime access to all of the videos because after eat these videos are going down. But if you donate, you will have access to them. And there's a beautiful workbook that goes along with it. So, you know, once it's all done and you take your little you know, you take your break, you catch your breath, then you can kind of go over it with the workbook and it will really help you because this is some really valuable work here. Right. Let's see. Will you please explain the project part of the three P's Okay, projecting it, it is about now you it is the pause ponder and do you project it into the fact that you stayed it? You say it because we needed a third

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p? We need a third B and it was about projecting it and expressing it you're able to take action because you've you've paused your thought and now you're able to state it. Okay. Let's see what else do we have? Please share the video to let others benefit

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We really need that definitely. inshallah, if you have benefited give me a thumbs up let me know that this is information that is beneficial sister Sabina say I'm so happy I just finished my registration for a one year virtual High Five sister Good job thank you so much for all the future lectures you're very happy Mashallah. I'm so happy inshallah, that you guys can join this. The thing is we have the live lessons now. And all the previous lessons have been recorded. And you what we do is get like a watch party we can have a group of people that you go through this journey together, we have a very supportive sisterhood, you can see some of them are on here. And they are Mashallah

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amazing. They will they will pray for you, they will cheer for you, they will you know, they will just be there through all the ups and downs of your journey. Thank you so much. If let me know if there are any other questions Who all said sister see my register to another high five virtual High Five Mashallah share, you know, and the best part about transformation is doing it with someone. Okay? So think about a best friend, a sister, a family member, maybe you know, you and your mom, somebody, you go through this together because what's exciting is when you both transform because if you're making all these changes, and they're still how they are, then yeah, it won't be as exciting

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but when you bring on your friends and your family members and you make this change together, then you totally are going to have a profound impact on on your community and on yourself. So I really do appreciate it Mashallah will be nice to see you in the group, see what they're already and sister Nadia saying, yay, welcome new sisters in sha Allah that we can really commit to being our absolute best and emulate the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam with his beautiful character, and we make it a priority, we make it a priority to have emotional intelligence, we make it a priority to control our emotions, we make it a priority to be our absolute best in dealing with our loved one. So it's

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not just a bunch of worship we're doing that worship will transform our hearts. And because our hearts are transformed with purified our heart, now it's a matter of you know, cultivating these beautiful character. So this has been such a such a pleasure, I enjoyed doing this. And I wanted to this is actually showing you where the course is a little bit of Okay, so we have a I wonder if that's the testimony, we have a beautiful testimony once you go on the page, go to holep unani.com and then under courses you'll see the mindful Hearts Academy is truly an academy it you know it is if you if you don't want to change don't join this course

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if you don't want to absolutely be your best and you know it it is a course guaranteed to transform you you just go through the lessons I could just go through the lessons and you will feel the transformation within the first couple of lessons and that's that's the powerful point about and it's self paced so all of the sessions are recorded and and you take it at your own pace that's why it's so much fun to join with a few friends and family you make it you make it like a watch party you watch it and you grow together and then you can join my life that I have on Thursday afternoons at 1pm Central so we're so excited and the nice thing is right after Ramadan on May 20 is going to

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be when I resumed classes we had a little break during Ramadan because there was so much going on with mindful Ramadan but on May 20, we're going to start and the phase is going to be all about spirituality so to make sure that we you know we keep the momentum of Ramadan we don't want to nose dive we want to keep it up and every year I think people have the intention of maintaining it It feels so good you know you're just like how could I not be doing this all year round? And then something happens and but what happens when you are in a group of like minded motivated spiritually like psyched spiritually psyched I like that it's spiritually a sight than the visuals then you are

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gonna just be propelled in the right direction. So thank you so much for all your your time and attention and I think if there are no more questions 20th may spirituality very, very excited sister Nadia saying I felt empowered during the very first lesson and hamdulillah well if you are interested in joining this, please write me if you want your character to be the

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heaviest you know that you want that to be the heaviest thing on your scale just indicate that you are ready for this and so a lot so thank you so much and, and I pray that Allah answers all your doors accepts all your beyond accepts all that you're doing and insha Allah May Allah give us the ability to have emotional intelligence your love, give us the peace give us the ability to ponder to pause not to be reactionary your Allah give us the patience to deal with our loved ones with wisdom with kindness with God consciousness y'all love help us to be God conscious in everything that we do not only in our prayers, but in our interactions in our business dealing in our community members in

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our messages on our boards in our schools, y'all Allah help us to really develop our character in a way that will be heaviest on our DVR Allah help us to be motivated to make changes in ourself and have lasting change Allah, Allah help us to maintain the momentum after Ramadan Yella help us to really have that connection with you and to strengthen the rope that we have with you, your Allah and help all of the sisters and brothers struggling emotionally, whether it's with depression, whether it's with anxiety, whether it's with suicidal thoughts, Yala. Remove all of the distresses of the people y'all love, cure all the people who are suffering from illnesses, though, like who are

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the people who are struggling with COVID and help all our brothers and sisters in all parts of the world, y'all Allah help our brothers and sisters in India that are struggling in Burma, in Palestine, and in China, all of them whoever they are, wherever they are, y'all Allah give them that hope that things are going to get better. And y'all Allah help us to be an example. An example of bright shining the light for everyone in the sense that because of our presence because of our emotional stability, because of our level of commitment to that their hearts are penetrated y'all Allah use us in your service and help us to be surrounded by your Olia and to have protection from

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people who are evil and have protection from the shaytaan I have protection from anything that will distract us. And y'all Allah help us to maintain this level of commitment, y'all Allah throughout the year to sokola head on for tuning in, and I appreciate all your support and inshallah Stay tuned on Tuesday, which I believe is the last day possibly, but on the last day, we are going to announce the winners of whoever has been most engaged, our team is going to look at the interaction who has been the most motivated who has been, you know, summarizing and asking questions and we want to, we want to reward you in short ledges like Allah fed on for all the for all of you inshallah, Salaam

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