Haleh Banani – MindFul Ramadan 2024 – TikTok Sensation to Muslim Convert – Megan Rice – Quran Club Experience
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Brother Wadud.
Sister Holly. How are you?
This interview,
this is gonna be something
really amazing.
We
got
sister Megan Rice.
Yeah. It's just amazing. You know, like, when
like, right in the middle of that crisis
in Palestine, we were
all of a sudden, like, her feet came
up, and she was just, like, this non
Muslim person picking up the Quran and excitingly
connecting with it and and reading to it.
And I was like, who's this person that
not even Muslim that can
and, like, talk into my heart. You know?
Yes. Yes. I had that same feeling.
And just seeing her reaction for those who
may not know her,
sister Megan Rice started reading the Quran. She
actually started a book club,
and it was reading the Quran. And it
went from, like, 800 to, like, 5,000
to 16,000 people reading the Quran online.
And,
so that, you know and then after all
of that, she embraced Islam. So we're gonna
find out about her journey,
some of the struggles.
And this is mindful Ramadan, and Ramadan is
a month where Quran was filled, and I
feel like fitting interview for this Mindful Ramadan
series. So excited.
I know. I am too. It's just, you
know, she has a beautiful
energy,
beautiful sense of curiosity,
which sometimes we lack as
as born Muslim. We we start reading the
Quran as a as a thing to do,
as as something to check off.
But I'm really excited to hear about how
she views it and how we can all
adapt to the way we look at the
Quran with a bit more curiosity.
Yeah. The way we connect to the Quran
this term on the beautiful, beautiful reminder, inshallah.
It's a good takeaway for me, inshallah. Alhamdulillah.
Me too. Me too.
And welcome to a mindful Ramadan
transformed by the light, inspiring stories of converts.
And welcome everyone to this beautiful series of
mindful Ramadan. We're so excited today to have
a special guest with me and my cohost,
sister Hale Banani. Sister Hale? Assalamu alaikum.
We are thrilled to have you, sister Megan.
I'm thrilled. I'm the here. Go ahead. Sister
Megan, this is such an honor to have
you here in this series we're doing on
mindful Ramadan
and transformed by light,
and I just want to, you know,
introducing you, I'm thinking about these moments when
all of us tuned in. You know, we're
in the middle of this crisis around the
world, and we're looking at, you know, this
horror story, like, unfolding in front of our
eyes. And all of a sudden, there are
all these glimpses of lights
and
kind of showing us that hope and that
solidarity, and we stumble upon your video.
And you just pick up a Quran,
and you start just reading the Quran.
And we start tuning in, and this is
probably one of the first time we're actually
listening to the the seed of the Quran
from a non Muslim.
True.
And you're you just have all these beautiful
thing that you know, and many of our
teachers, they said that when we read the
Quran, we should be reading it from the
heart. We should activate our emotions. We should
have, like, love and hope and fear and
all those different emotions attached to the Quran,
and you had all of these things personified,
the way that you are connecting and showing
us our emotions and getting into it. Mhmm.
And there are reflections that you shared that
I felt like many of us Muslims even
wouldn't be able to, like, get to that
level of depth. So it was a beautiful
moment to see you, you know, just picking
up the Quran and reading through it. Tell
us about your story. Tell us about that
moment. You know, what led you to it,
and what happened?
Sure. So it all,
happened with a video after October 7th
like many other
activists. I've I've been an activist for for
17 years as as background of this.
But many activists took to social media
as a call to action to get people's
attention
on what was happening in Palestine.
So
as I was watching the footage that everyone
else was watching, what I did notice as
a non religious person
was
that
even the most horrific things that were happening
to Palestinian people,
even the the worst that
anyone could imagine as far as losing their
children are concerned and and holding their children's
bodies in their hands, they were still saying
things like,
and they were still saying
thank God and they were still praying to
Allah
And at the time,
especially as a nonreligious person who who believed
in God but has had a tumultuous relationship
with God through the years,
I didn't understand that level of faith. And
so I decided to make a video,
and I I just opened the conversation up
to my followers and said, can we talk
about Palestinian faith real quick and how ironclad
and steadfast it is? Because it really isn't
anything
like I've ever I haven't seen anything like
it. And the it seemed like the entire
Umrah showed up in the comments and said,
you know, this is Islam. You should read
the Quran. And at the time, I did
have time to
to pick it up and read. And so
I that's exactly what I I decided to
do. I had read the Bible in the
past, and I
still found it to be to be beautiful,
but there were so many contradictions that
I couldn't really take it at face value
or I really couldn't take it. I didn't
know which to believe and which was added
and what was taken away just throughout human
history.
And
so when I started reading Lakota n, it
it
just I I was surprised to read activism.
I was surprised to read
justice
and equality and and all of the things
that I was fighting for
and believed in anyway. So
It resonated with you. It resonated with your
belief system.
And what I loved was your just your
raw
your reactions were just so incredible, especially that
time when you were doing the embryology
and your reaction, and you're looking it up,
and when was this founded? And you and
it's just it was so refreshing.
And as a, you know, as a born
Muslim to see that kind of excitement
and that kind of, like, just
looking and seeing the how it impacted you
on the spot was I what I thought
was very powerful.
I'm a science geek anyway, and and
so to to read and and there are
quite a few of those moments in the
Quran where where science shows up and
even off camera, you know, away from from
lives and everything, I was still googling while
I was reading. The Quran just to match
up the timeline of humanity actually discovered
discovered some of the things in it versus
when the Quran was was revealed, which was
1400 years ago as we know.
So, yeah, it it was a it was
a very fascinating,
eye opening experience from the from the first
moment I I opened the book.
Beautiful. Brother Waddud, you wanted to Like, you
just picked up the Quran and you started
to do the book club or do the
Quran. Like, what how did this
when did it go from, like, a personal
thing to, like, this communal thing, and who
are joining in?
The reason why I decided to take reading
the Quran public instead
of reading it just privately,
was that I saw an uptick in Islamophobia,
and that really did scare me. And I
remember how bad Islamophobia
was after 911 even then as a child
at the time. I was only, you know,
11, 12 years old at that time, so
I didn't want to see something like that
happen again
worldwide.
And so my idea of taking Reading the
Quran Public was,
it wasn't for the purpose of converting any
it never was. It never was for the
purpose of converting anyone or bringing anyone to
Islam. It was to
dispel some of the misconceptions
that media has and and western powers around
the world. Just a lot of misconceptions that
have been pushed
about Islam.
I just invited people that were not Muslim
and Muslims alike. I I just invited everyone
to read together and find out that it
wasn't this
evil, scary
And it was actually something that was that
was very beautiful, and, it was never my
intention to revert, of course. It was
You just wanted to learn. You wanted to
learn. And I think, you know, if you
look at every book of Hadith, it starts
with
that verily your deeds are by your intentions
and your intention was so pure you wanted
to learn you wanted to know what do
they have. I want some of that. Right?
I wanna I want some of what the
Palestinians
have that they are able to handle the
biggest losses with such grace and with such
faith and with such acceptance.
And you also wanted to avoid people from
being harmed.
So the fact that you had that pure
intention, I feel that,
subhanAllah,
Allah opened up the path for you
and helped you to see,
see things in a way
that maybe others would not have had. Because
some people start reading the Quran to find
flaws in it. Others study it to debate,
but you went in for all the right
reasons. You wanted to know what makes people
believe in it in this way
and also just with curiosity
and sincerity.
Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. And, you know, that sense
of presence, like, you are just open
and curious, and a lot of times we
go in
kind of closed. We don't open ourselves up.
We receive. You know? And then Allah says
that when you listen to the Quran
and listen, really be present and really listen
in so that you can receive the mercy
of God. And a lot of times when
you were listening, you know, Imam Ghazali mentioned
that the people of, the people that are
closest to God, they don't listen to because
they listen through their heart.
Yes.
Have this sense of openness and that beginner's
mind and just being curious and present. A
lot of times, we're not present, and you
were really present in the way that you
showed up, and it made us present when
you were listening. Yes. We loved it. I
love I would always show your videos
to to my kids. They're older.
They're 24, 22,
and and 19. But I'm like, you gotta
see this. You gotta see her reactions because
it was just so genuine,
beautiful.
And Allah says in the Quran,
That and those who strive for us, we
will surely guide them to our ways. And
indeed,
Allah is with the doers of good. So
you were doing good. You wanted to learn,
and you're passing it on. So,
That's I think that's where the guidance came
from, your your sincerity.
Anala, I I have a question. So while
you're reading, so when did that happen that
you went into with this intention and then
all of a sudden the opening came where
you felt like it's not just about reading
or not just about standing up for justice
or sharing, you know, or removing misconceptions.
I feel that this is something that this
faith is something that it belongs to me.
I should subscribe to this. When did that
moment happen? How did that happen? Happen? That
moment
was
I
am am asked that question
quite a bit, and it's very difficult to
pinpoint an exact moment
because from the very beginning
of starting to read the Quran, what I
noticed was that
the Allah,
the god that I was reading in the
in the Quran, was the first time that
god or Allah matched
how I saw god.
So I would say it it pretty much
was from the very beginning. It it was,
a lot of people ask, like, what was
the moment that kinda opened things up for
me? But it wasn't necessarily like a an
enlightenment. It was more of a validation.
It was more just a reassurance
of
the core beliefs and the connection
I had already had with God. I just
found a
religion or,
spirituality that actually matched
Matched it. What I've been feeling. Yeah. That's
an unbelievable answer there, you know, because they
said in the Quran, it says that Allah
asked that God had actually
allowed the or the souls to witness God,
and he
told people that, am I not your lord?
And the souls witnessed him and said, of
course, you are our lord. You are our
creator. So the soul deep down knows. You
know? And then sometimes we just need that
recalibration,
and we can kind of sense
that truth if we really are open to
it. Yes. And you had said,
that concept of turning the other
cheek never made sense to you. You know?
If someone is hitting you, you wanna defend
yourself.
And when you started reading
about the justice in Islam and that oppression
is worse than murder,
and all of this, upon Allah, really resonated
with you because you're an activist. And and
it just
reaffirmed
your beliefs.
Correct?
Exactly right. Exactly right. Now as as far
as the turning the other cheek
is concerned,
I think I've calmed down quite a bit
since
then, and I probably would opt for forgiveness.
But,
at the time, when emotions were high, I
I just I'd love that passage where, of
course, we I shouldn't sit here and, you
know,
have to turn the other cheek. But,
yes, the as far as oppression is worse
than than murder, that resonated
so deeply
Mhmm. With me and made so much sense
because just coming from
all kinds of intersectional
marginalities myself, it was a lived experience that
that
I could speak to or that I could
relate to. So that
for sure was was one of the passages
that I was incredibly impressed with.
You know, I I'm a faith based counselor.
I've been doing this for 3 decades. And
so I'm fascinated by the soul, by the
nafs, and how the nafs is and I'm
sure you've been reading about it and how
it has, like, three levels. Right?
And the is
having that self knowledge. Right? And it's the
self awareness and self accountability.
So we have the lower nafs, which is
that it just tells you, like, go. Yeah.
Live it up. Do this. Whatever feels good.
Right?
And then you have the self reproaching nafs,
which is,
nafsina
nafsilawama.
That's the one you do it, and you're,
oh, god. I shouldn't have done this. And
you're just, like, you feel guilt, and there's
that feeling of, I wanna correct myself.
And then the 3rd nafs, which is like
the tranquil
soul, and that's the nafs al mutmahinnah.
Right? Like, that is when you are certain
and your nafs, your soul is actually guiding
you towards good rather than evil. So it's
it's tamed.
Right? It's like, you know, that great analogy
I heard is that when you're on a
horse and you are telling the horse where
to go. So the horse is your nuffs
and you're guiding it. You're not letting it
guide you.
So
that internal
struggle
the prophet salallahu alaihi sallam called the jihad
and nafs the bigger battle. So they finished
the battle, and he's like, now we need
to go to the big battle, and that
is the jihad and that's like the battle
within yourself to overcome your desires, your base
self, your reactionary
self. So I'm just curious to see
how that has been for you because you've
had to make so many changes becoming
a Muslim. You've had to overcome so much.
So how is that the nafs,
the struggle with your soul? What has that
been like for you?
That's a good question.
I think that I
the the journey has been a bit more
a bit different for me because
that journey has been lifelong, and,
I've only recently learned
to forgive myself
for a lot of things
and see myself as
human.
That doesn't necessarily mean that I give myself
a pass to,
to sin prior to it happening or like
that. But if it does happen, since it
does happen with all of us,
it's easier for me to recognize
just how I got there in that moment,
and
recognize it to a point where I know
I won't repeat
that behavior, but ultimately forgive myself because I
know that imperfection is in my design.
Beautiful. I was, you know, sister Holly, you
know about David Ricco's work and
guilt, and he separates it in 2 different
categories. 1 is that neurotic guilt
that gets us
lower, you know, our shortcomings than our things
that we're not proud of, and we're just
stuck to the point that it it doesn't
give us that forward movement.
And then the healthy, you know, sense of
guilt, which gives us a sense of accountability
where we're taking actions to overcome
and move forward.
And we see that the prophet
had these beautiful teaching,
and Ramadan is all about that cleansing. Right?
That the sahabha qib and said, I made
this mistake, and how can I even be
forgiven? And the prophet said, say and repent
and really, you know, come back and return
to your lord in this sincere way, and
you told him to recite this this tafar
to come back to Allah. You know, 3
times, and he said, now god has forgiven
you. Now move. Now go. Now go. God
has forgiven. So so that go, a lot
of times as human beings, we get stuck
in that past,
and the go doesn't happen. Like, to visualize
that Allah is literally forgiving me when I
say, Allah, I return to you. I ask
your forgiveness. Cleanse me.
Cleanse me. Forgive me, and now hold me
in your mercy. And Allah says,
Allah Allah loves those,
meaning that everybody's gonna make mistakes, but if
you come back, he loves it. He loves
you, and he's so loving that his doors
are always open for you, and you should
be able to now move forward. And this
Ramadan should be above that, not getting stuck
in the past,
but coming back and moving forward.
Yes. The best of sinners are those who
do toba, and that was such a nice
reminder. And I I loved, how you, sister
Megan, mentioned about self forgiveness because sometimes we're
able to forgive others and we're not able
to forgive ourself of our, you know, shortcomings
or things that we did. And it's so
critical
to have that self compassion
and be able
to nurture ourself and know we did the
best that we knew
at the time and be able to let
go of that and not be immobilized.
So that's very critical.
Tell us about how has your life changed?
Like, what are what are some of the,
the benefits,
some of the
insights, maybe
peace, tranquility? What what have you experienced?
I would say the biggest benefit is just
feeling that
direct connection with Allah
and,
where that was just
very it it it it was in and
out before. Sometimes it felt really strong, and
then sometimes it felt really distant.
Sometimes it I didn't feel it at all
prior.
And now
just through through regular practice of salaf and
and making du'at,
it's just a lot
easier
to take that time
as one on one time with with
me and Allah
and just having an an very open, very
honest, very raw conversation
with Allah. And
so I would say that has been the
most beneficial.
So is that direct relationship with Allah
that you find in prayer? And I love
when you in one of your talks, you
talked about your your first Fajr. Right? Your
first fudger prayer.
Can you share with the audience about that?
Yeah. I was I was brand new. I
was it was right
after
I I took my Shahada, and I just
wanted to
try it out.
It this could've actually been, like, right before
I took my shot, actually. I I now
it's like a blur because I was trying
some stuff out before ultimately taking it. But
I got up,
and I performed the voodoo, and I had
my little chart and to make sure that
I was performing it right. And I came
out, and I had my key block, and
I lined up my prayer mat
just right, and I laid it out.
And then I stood there,
and I had no idea what to do
from there. So I just said,
peace me, and then
I went back to bed. That's beautiful.
I love it. I love it. I mean,
you showed up. Right? That was the first
step. And that's so important not to have
the fear
of doing something maybe wrong. And you're just
you're taking that step and you know that
Allah is all merciful. And then you you
learn, and now you have this beautiful connection.
Masha'Allah. That's impressive.
Right. I'm I'm glad that I finally figured
out I could actually, you know,
open up a YouTube video or something to
be Right.
To be able to perform it. But, yeah,
in the very beginning, I had no idea
that was just a that was just a
very
new revert moment.
You know, like, that's showing up, like, you
what you just mentioned, sister Holly. Like, how
how we should show up is such a
beautiful lesson
that if when we don't know or we're
not
you know, we don't have to have everything
right to show up because
and that's how you sometimes move forward just
by showing up. So what a beautiful story.
It's a beautiful story. And the fact that,
you know, you you took your shahada,
and, brother Wadud alluded to this
earlier
that, you know, everyone was in such a
sense of,
we felt we're all feeling so devastated
about what was happening to the Palestinians, and
and there's just so much feelings of,
sadness and helplessness
and hopelessness
for some people.
But, you know, having you converts upon Allah
and the way you just spread light. Right?
You spread light.
And you hadn't planned on it, but it
was one of those things that we always
say as Muslims that there's a wisdom.
There is wisdom in everything that happens,
and we don't question Allah. We and I've
always taught my kids, you know, you have
to have, like, etiquette with Allah. You don't
say, why is this happening? You know? You
say, you Allah, what is the wisdom?
And
part of the wisdom, we felt that it
was
people like
yourself reading the Quran and and and learning
about what's happening in Palestine and and converting.
It's just it really
you can't imagine
the,
the it was kinda like a balm. You
know? It's like the soothing balm on our,
on a on a major wound on the
ummah.
And people such as yourself, it just created
that feeling of, okay, there is good that
is coming out of this, very tragic
incident.
Yeah. How how what is your what are
your advice, your guidance to everyone that's watching?
This Ramadan is gonna be
emotional for Muslims. Right? We're all having this
we're trying to get over this collective trauma
where we we're
experiencing it. We're still
in the middle of it. And
how do we approach this Ramadan in a
way that can be healing for us? What
what should we be doing? How can we
process?
That's an excellent question. A big question. But,
seriously your first Ramadan? Does she she's trying
to figure out how to wake up in
the morning. I got I'll give you some
tips.
Yeah. I can see how I'm going to
be,
approaching it for sure. And I think that's
what's a part of the advice is that
it's individual.
Everyone's Ramadan is is going to be
different. Everyone's focus is is going to be
different.
I would say as far as
just
addressing
the collective trauma
everyone has been going through,
I always use salah and
and du'a to
let out my sorrow and,
just feel what whatever I am feeling
because
Allah sees what we conceal and what we
reveal anyway. So I
decide to, I mean,
at least once a day, my prayer mat
is soaked in tears. Like, that's just the
times the times that we're living in, but
I I would encourage everyone to use that
time that they have
with Allah
and use that time that they have with
the Quran
to heal because it does say in the
Quran as well that it is a book
of healing.
And
I I think that
Ramadan is is definitely
or how it's been conveyed to me, at
least, that's the that's all I could speak
to,
is as this big celebration or or this
big moment
to celebrate or to rejoice in. And
I think the possibility
or
the option
to use it as a moment to simply
heal
is quite overlooked or or not
quite tapped into as much as as much
as I think it could be.
Mhmm. So That beautiful The healing part is
critical. I like what you say. You know,
just allowing the emotions
to flow, and that that's so critical,
accepting
what is happening and doing our best.
And it is it's a it's a time
of reflection
and self control, and we're supposed to
feel the hunger pangs, and we're supposed to
feel what it means not to have. And
and,
they're they're going to experience it. And
and I remember once someone called in and
a sheikh in in one of these,
Islamic TV shows
and he's he asked a question. It was
Ramadan, and he goes, if I don't have
anything to break my fast, does my fast
still count?
And the sheikh started crying because it was
like,
look how some people, what they are having
to
what they're having to deal with. So, definitely,
there's that
the collective
not just collective
trauma, but the collective compassion as well and
feeling for one another.
You know, this Ramadan,
people are asking, like, what would be that
what do we focus on? How do we
how do we find hope? Right?
And so I think this is a beautiful
way to kinda look at it that it's
Ramadan. At the end of the day, is
this is this this celebration. We didn't think
of it that way, the way that sister
Megan just put it. This is and of
the revelation of the Quran, that this is
the month bound,
and this was sent as a noor, as
a light, and a guidance, and a healing,
and shepa of your art. And
we can approach Ramadan again for that shepa,
for that healing, and
so that we can continue to show up
because we we will have to show up
with our best self for ourselves or others
and then
for,
oppressed in Palestine and anywhere in the world
and speak up for justice, but it does
mean that we also have to take care
of taking care of our self
and coming back to our best self. Yeah.
What
has been the reaction of your family? That's
always interesting
to find out how
the people around you you're being celebrated, masha'Allah,
worldwide
with the Muslim community. You have a huge
family now, but I'm curious to know
how has your family responded to this conversion?
I've been
very lucky.
I have a very supportive family,
and they always have been been very supportive.
This is one of the more popular
questions I've been asked because I think everyone
is very
curious
of of what happens to to new reverts,
and I'm I'm happy that it it's not
a triggering question for me because I know
for
A lot of new reverts, it is a
triggering question. So,
but, no, my family has been absolutely wonderful,
and, I visited my family a couple of
days after taking my shahava, and it was
around the time of dukhoor
when I arrived at my my mother's house,
and I informed her that I had to
pray or it was time to pray.
And she went into the living room and
asked if she needed to move any furniture
for me to have enough room.
And, when I began praying, she asked if
if,
I would rather
them leave the room so that I could
have privacy in it. And so my family
have always been
an ally to to whatever I decide to
pursue in life. I've been very blessed. That
is truly a blessing. I had one of
my friends who's
in college,
she walked in. She was actually
she was actually on her way to Brazil
to do missionary work. And she happened to
walk into
the MSA, the Muslim Student Association.
She read a pamphlet. I always said, Alhamdulillah,
there were no Muslims there
to, you know I don't know. They just
to maybe,
you know, the Haram police, and we'll get
into that a little bit later. So no
one was there. She said, I was in
my shorts and my tank top. I read
this pamphlet.
And right there and there, it's like, to
become a Muslim, you say these words. She
took her shahada on her own.
And,
and
she there was this struggle because when she
became Muslim,
her family did not embrace it. And and
every time and once she approached, she goes,
you you ring the hitch up, and you
look so happy. I don't get it.
So she went on the
hitch up. But every time before she wanted
to see her mom,
she would just talk to me. I had
to give her a pep talk, and she
goes, I gotta tighten my hijab
and go there because when she would go,
her mom purposely made pork.
When she would pray, she would she would
play the piano,
like, you know, just as a way to,
like, distract
her. And and then,
after so much,
her mom, like, at the age of 75
embraced Islam.
And and she's like, I don't even know
why it took me so long.
And it was just her patience. You know?
And so, alhamdulillah, that you're being nurtured and
you're being respected. But so many of our
converts,
they go through a struggle. They sometimes lose
their family.
They sometimes
get harassed by their community. So,
really, my heart always goes out to people
who leave
what they have known
for the deen. And the more you give
up for the sake of Allah, the more
Allah rewards you. So.
Beautiful. Yes.
I have a question. Like, now that we're
getting into Ramadan, you started off this journey
by reading the Quran. Right? Yeah. And taking
us with you along with you. What are
you thinking now that we are entering Ramadan
and everybody's thinking about, like, okay. How much
Quran am I gonna read? And, you know,
and we talk about and we will talk
about it this in this Ramadan series
about how to really deeply connect and use
Quran for transformation,
not just, you know, reading for the sake
of, like, oh, I read a page or
take it off.
Stop. Like, maybe
yeah. Or it's like, just check off, you
know, like, the to do list. Like, okay.
I've done it.
But how do we go deeper? How do
we really connect? You know? And so any
thoughts on that? So I've read the Quran,
twice now,
and it's it's been
just well, first, it helps that it's easy
to read. Like, that's that's what also helps.
But
anytime that I am facing struggles in my
own life, I've just found that there are,
there's a for it. Like, it just
just every single time.
And I've mostly I I think I've highlighted
almost the entirety of both women and,
al Bakr,
because it's
anything that I'm that's been happening in my
life, I could just go to to those
2,
Suras
specifically
and and find something that that will address
it,
or,
Imran family,
as well.
But,
I I would say that
instead of seeing the Quran
as more of an obligation during Ramadan or
something that needs to be
completed. Look at it more as
an answer to to questions you've always had
or or,
just something to complete your journey that you've
always struggled in. It's it's
it's
a far less
intimidating that way, I would say.
Approach it with with a heart of curiosity
of what what it can do for you
rather than
just checking it. Like I said, just just
checking a box to say, I I know
I I read the Quran during Ramadan.
I love that. I love the the fact
that you're saying, look at it with curiosity
and then to look for answers
in in our lives because sometimes just one
verse
can transform you.
And I and that makes me curious. Is
there any particular
verse? Any I I know you've emphasized sort
of
but is there any particular verse that has
really
resonated with you?
Yes.
Actually,
this is
I have it
thank goodness I always have it near me.
But I have, like, several copies around the
around my apartment just just in case, but
it is
I believe it is
67 if I'm not mistaken. Hold on. Let
me see.
I'm flipping through it now. It's it's highlighted
and and everything. I just have to find
that. No. Take your time.
There is a verse that you read it,
and it was impactful, and it impacted you.
It it matched everything that that I had
always believed, how I always saw God, how
I always saw this dunya,
just life in in general, and I go
back to it quite often.
But it's 164,
in El Batao.
Okay. Can you read it for us? The
Certainly.
Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and
the earth,
the alternation of the day and the night,
the ships that sail the sea for the
benefit of humanity,
the rain sent down by God from the
skies reviving the earth after its death, the
scattering of all kinds of create, creatures throughout,
the shifting of the winds, and the clouds
drifting between the heavens and the earth.
And all of this are surely signs for
people of understanding.
My shop. Far my favorite My shop. Coconut.
Coconut.
So it yeah. That brings tears to my
eyes in the sense that
you find that all Allah has shown us
so many ways, so many signs
to say that there's purpose.
Right? So is that true?
It's it's just how simple it is to
see to see a loss of parabola and
everything. And on live several times, I
used
the orange as an example, the fruit, the
orange.
Because if you peel it, it's perfectly symmetrical.
It's
already divided.
It's immediately
ready to eat. It's ready to share,
and it just happens naturally in nature. And
it's things like or or a snowflake and
how no 2 snowflakes are the same.
And when you think of the billions and
billions of snowflakes that,
are,
required to make a snowstorm
and realizing that no 2 of those snowflakes
are the same. You know, it's it's things
like that that happen in
everyday life that that happen and
and things that
we just take for granted or or we
don't just stop and and reflect upon
that is
you don't really need any further
proof as as far as the existence of
the
is concerned. That's
beautiful. Very deep. I love it. I love
it. I'm glad I asked.
And
I heard
I think it was last week that you
you announced
you're not going to
create content.
And I think you alluded to,
some of the Haram police have their
have people been
mean to you and and, are you criticizing?
I think that's some or is there more
to it than that?
I think that I mean, there's, of course,
more to it, than that. The the Haram
Police definitely
make things difficult for new reverts. I would
say that.
And and
I do like to think that they do
have they do think that they are doing
good in the moment. They think that they
are, you know, advising or
making sure they're steering their brother or their
sister on the right path.
But for new reverts who are learning for
the very first time and to be corrected
that constantly,
it actually has the opposite
Of course.
There have been quite a few people who
who have DM ed me and said, you
know, I was thinking of of
converting to Islam or I was thinking of,
becoming Muslim, but I read your comments, and
it just seems like there's too much pressure.
So, you know, people don't realize that their
comments, even if they're toward me, people are
watching them. People people are reading them.
But me leaving content creation or or me
retiring as a content creator, that was
going to happen
anyway. I I had released a video prior
to,
what happened after October 7th. It was back
in September where I said that I just
felt that social media was taking away from
real life really and and
not really putting the the right
priorities in in in place. So I was
going to delete my social media on October
31st. Obviously, that didn't happen because of,
what happened in Kazan. It was all hands
on deck, so to speak, meaning all activists
needed to show up,
and,
create content to make sure that
as much information is getting out as possible.
And I won't be deleting my social media
for that reason because who knows what can
happen where I would need to be called
again to jump into action and make a
video. But when it came to my faith
specifically, what I had found was
it no longer felt like something that or
it was no longer feeling like something that
belonged
to just me. And and between me and
Allah,
it didn't it didn't feel,
as
personal as I I would want it to
feel, and is everything was still so brand
new to me. And this time was very
is very precious to me to become more
grounded in my faith and and to have
the freedoms
to make mistakes and it not be on
the world stage.
Oh, I definitely
to to really dive in. Yeah. And
so I decided to to
make sure that my faith is practiced more
privately
from
for going on.
I respect that. I respect that. And something
and I definitely want, to hear from you,
brother Wadud, that I I wanted to, like,
reflect on this because I think it's a
critical point.
Why do people
react that way? Right? Because we've all experienced
it, the Haram police. Okay?
And
one is, you know, the the verse in
the Quran that it says
that you are like the best of people.
Right? Why are you the best of people?
That You advise
what is good and you,
you know, you take people away from what
is bad.
And a lot of times
people take this, you know, they become very
zealous, like it's like vigilante.
Right? I'm gonna
correct anyone who is wrong,
and then we're also told that
there comes a time where your Dua is
not answered,
and it's because you're not doing that.
And so people get scared. It's like, I
I need to I want my Dua's answered.
I'm gonna go. And what they miss out
on and what they forget
is the fact that of how
it is done. Right? It's like, you know,
in the Quran, it says,
pray,
but we don't know all the details of
the prayer. We have to look at the
prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and how he prayed,
what he did. And in the same way,
it says
correct others, but we have to look at
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam on how
he did it. And he always used wisdom
and compassion,
and he was gentle.
And I remember a specific
haram police in our masjid,
and no one was safe. Anyone who walked
through that door, your hijab is see through.
Your dress is too short. Your you know,
the way you do sujood. So it's not
just for new Muslims. Okay? It just and
once I went up to this sister, and
I go,
thank you, sister.
You know, you wanna uphold the sunnah. You
know, I respect that.
But there is one sunnah
I think you may be overlooking, and that
is a sunnah of how
to give the dua. You know? Doing it
in a way that melts your heart. Doing
it in a way that is that is
gentle and sweet.
And, you know, Allah told Musa Alaihi Salam
to be gentle when you talk to Pharaon.
He was saying I am god, and he's
saying be gentle. It might soften him. So
I apologize on behalf of all those trolls
that, you know, they they mean well because
they're like, I want my Doha answered. And
I'm I'm supposed to do this, but they
missed the wisdom. And brother Wadud, I would
love to hear your,
reflections.
Really important to understand that I I feel
like many of those people are missing out
on a on a spiritual teacher.
So a lot of times, we need to
have, you know, a scholar, spiritual teacher that
really is guiding us on how to really
show up as a as a Muslim, as
a good human being, because the prophet told
us that
and I was sent to perfect the human
character and that Yes.
Potential. We have to be a good human
being, 1st and foremost, to become a Muslim.
You know, Allah
want us to reach the highest level of
human potential,
and a human that, you know, harasses people
or make random comments. And we know that
many, many of our scholars talk to us
about the and advice
that generally,
you know, it is not considered a good
nasiha when you are, you know, randomly doing
it in public. Openly. Yeah.
People and when you're not especially when somebody's
on their journey. And we know that when
those people and the person converted and the
story of the person converting and asking
okay. I'm gonna I'm gonna pray, but I'm
not gonna pay zakah. I'm gonna do I'm
not gonna do charity. I'm not gonna do
anything else. The prophet said, okay, and the
companions got, like, super surprised. Like, aren't these
all, like, obligation? How are you giving, like,
discounts to this person? And the prophet said
and the prophet said this is more about
them, you know, a culturating. You know, it's
it's about set up everybody journeys to God
in their own way, on their own pace,
in their own path, and, you know, you're
coming to the faith, you're starting to make
that connection with God. And, basically, it's explaining
to them that once they have that connection
established with prayer, slowly everything else is open
up. Right? And not having that Hikma and
that wisdom,
such a disservice to people on the It
really is. And I know of so many
of my dear friends who when they first
converted one one sister, I remember I used
to do halakasakasas
in Dubai.
And she had been married to a Muslim
for 10 years. 10 years. And she's been
fasting. She was reading, and she did so
much. She never became a Muslim.
And so, you know, one fine day, she
goes, can we have coffee together? We had
coffee.
And and I said, you know, so much.
Yeah. And you haven't taken your shahada. And
she goes, I don't know enough. I go,
I don't know enough. I mean, I have
a lot of work to do myself.
And and I said, I don't know if
I'm gonna live
today. I I may I may cross the
street. I may get hit by a car.
Who knows? And you know too much not
to take action. So
She took her shahada.
So I was I wanted to, like you
know, you wanna nurture someone who is new
to Islam.
And,
I chose, like, the nicest
mosque. I wanted her to, you know, have
a nice pleasant experience.
And we went. We did the chutba, and
then as soon as we finished praying she
was so scared. She goes, I'm afraid of
doing something wrong. Someone's gonna correct me. I
there's someone's gonna yell at me. So and
I'm like, no. No. Who does that? You
don't like praying.
Please, y'all, and let her have a good
experience. So she prays.
And as soon as we give salaams, the
lady next to us, she looked at her
and she said, it is haram to wear
nail polish. You know?
And I had seen I had seen the
nail polish. I felt, okay. We're you know,
one step at a time. We're gonna, you
know. And I looked at her, and I
go just like her sister. She took her
shahada yesterday.
So, you know, let's find out a little
bit before we start correcting. So
I just wanted to share that in that
all you know, I think we've all experienced
those. And, hopefully, that
there's so much good that comes out of
what you've provided that I really hope you
reconsider
that maybe,
at some level, you continue sharing and kinda
tune out tune out those voices.
And, because so much light has come from
this journey and the sharing, what are your
thoughts on that?
I can appreciate
the good that has
come from it for sure,
but my highest priority and and the most
important thing for me
is pleasing Allah
and not necessarily other human beings.
So it's one of those things where until
I know how to
please and and serve the
the way that I learned to or the
way I I need that room first. I
need that Sure.
I need the ability to to actually have
the time to
build my own team before Sure.
Before sharing on that level. And it's also
one of those things where
I I hope that what has already been
done or or the work that that I'd
already
done, I I just hope that it inspires
the next
person to go on their own journey and
and discover their own things.
But, yeah, I never really considered it to
be,
and it was it actually was never the
intention,
to be something that was
ongoing or or lifelong or anything like that.
I see. I see.
What I know that last time I read,
I think it started off at, like, 800
with the book club, then it last thing
I read 13,000.
Are are we am I on point, or
did it grow?
Yes. So I actually left the book club
to to the admins
about a month or so after launching it.
It by the time I left, it was
at
I think it was at 16,000, to be
honest.
But, yeah, it was it was it started
out wonderful. It started out as as this
very welcoming
and and open space for people,
non Muslims and Muslims alike, to just be
curious and to just explore the Quran.
Of course, when you have the when you
have 16,000 different personalities in one space,
it's quickly going to become something when emotions
are already high about what was happening in
in Gaza and everything,
like that. It quickly turned into a space
where
everything was
critiqued with everything. It it just yeah. It
seemed very severe.
Okay. And so for new reverts, it wasn't
really a,
And it wasn't a safe space to ship.
It wasn't a safe space at all. Alright.
So I wanna I wanna offer you a
safe space. I actually would like to gift
you a membership to my my mentorship program,
Mindful Hearts Academy's 4 sisters.
And my motto is
no judgment.
No. I we just we don't allow it.
I just
no one can no one can be there's,
like, positive vibes. I mean, you can share
troubles. You can share challenges,
but you don't attack other people. And
and it's all about building the good character.
Right? Like, taking
what you learn about the dean, and it's
like self development, but Islamicized.
So I would I would love to gift
that to you and have you be a
part of our community inshallah. And then you
feel you'll feel the love. And this is.
I appreciate you. Of course.
And and I just wanted to add something
there,
if if I may, is that
sometimes
that we're talking about a mindful Ramadan,
sometimes letting go of distraction for a little
bit of time to refocus and really deeply
connect.
I think it's a beautiful thing. And
while we're kinda, like, in our mind, we're
like, no. Don't let go of that beautiful
momentum you built. And at the same time,
when you're talking about Allah and we realize
that that's what it is of essence of
essence of everything, it's at the end of
the day, it is your connection with God.
Right? And sometimes, you know, this concept concept
of
in in Ramadan, which is where
you seclude yourself from the world,
and you take time out for a few
days only between you and God. And Ramadan
is a beautiful time to disconnect.
It's a really be beautiful test. The poem
is digital.
You know, like, digital, you kinda let go.
You really focus on god
and try to find that that focus and
try to find that. So I think it's
a beautiful way to I think beautiful lesson
for all of us, Muslims, that
are we able to take that digital?
Are we able to let go of a
distraction? Are we really able to to really
connect and try to find our better self,
higher self,
and our mindful best self, this Ramadan.
And we're just balancing it. Right? Because there's
also a lot of great,
content
like this interview,
that we want people to benefit from. But
we also need to minimize it. Minimize it
and not be glued to our phone, but
make very mindful decisions. Be very conscientious because
I know I I benefit. I learn.
And through every interview that we do with
we've had incredible guests. I'm enlightened, and
I feel they're each one is a gift.
So we have to just create that beautiful
balance.
So,
this has been this has been so fascinating.
Really, really enjoyed having you.
I enjoyed being here. Thank you for having
me. Of course. Of course. And, you know,
we started off talking
about
Palestine. That's how you came into
the deen, into Islam.
What would be your,
what what is your takeaway? Like, as far
as
what you have learned
from them?
Because I know that that's what shook you
or that's what really impacted you, but what
would be your, let's say, parting words
about that? And also for
people who may be just searching and wondering
if they should take the plunge or if,
you know, is this right for me? What
what is your advice?
My advice is,
like brother Wadud said,
remove all other distractions.
I think that things can get more confusing
the more people you let into your journey
and let into your process in the beginning.
I would say when it's just between when
it's just you and it's just your heart
and it's just your connection to Allah
Things are much more simpler,
and the the guidance and the journey is
far more clearer.
For those people who are who are waiting
to take the plunge and and just they're
nervous, I would I would say to
really spoil yourself, so to speak, during this
time
in in creating a space with with just
you and God.
As far as Palestine
is concerned,
of course, I'm blown away by their steadfastness
and their faith even
today. And but what we're seeing,
and,
Imam Omar Suleiman said it perfectly,
Palestinians aren't asking where Allah
is. Palestinians are asking where the Ummah is.
Mhmm. Palestinians are asking where we are.
So as much as
we
see what's going on is upsetting,
we
still have to I mean, even if I'm
I'm taking
even if I'm retiring, so to speak, from
my content creator career,
I'm still very much online making sure that
I'm reposting the content that needs to get
to the eyes.
I'm still, you know, doing my my activist
work. I'm still calling my representatives. I'm I'm
still,
keeping up on news. I'm I'm still doing
all of the things that are necessary to
help
our our brothers and sisters in in Palestine.
And I think that us as humans, we're
not used to
being this traumatized or seeing such disturbing images
day in and day out. And so I
think Yeah. I think our instincts,
wants to tell us to distance ourselves from
it or or to detach from it.
But our humanity
has
to allow us not to do so. Our
our humanity has called us into into action.
Mhmm. So as much as
Palestine has
opened the world's eyes
to how
beautiful humanity can be, it's our turn to
show up for them
and show them how beautiful humanity could be.
So that's that's what I would leave people
as far as that. That. That's beautiful. Beautiful.
Thank you so much for your reflection.
Brother Wadhud?
So much. May Allah bless you. It's a
beautiful reflection. May Allah grant us to forgive
us
for our shortcomings to not show up and
not be there for them. You know? And
such a beautiful thing to say to be
able to show our amenity for them. May
Allah bless you. It's been a pleasure. Like,
you know, I know that we'll be making
duas for you and you for us and
everyone that's watching to have a beautiful mind
for Ramadan. You know, this parting thing, you
know, as you were talking about this content
creation, I hope that after this digital etaqa
in Ramadan,
Once you once you come out of it,
you're able to go back
and continue
to impact the world in a way that,
you know, doesn't tolerate those random comments and
have maybe scholars like Sheikh Omar come in
and and join you and
and
and have those guidance of our teachers that
can keep you moving and utilize. May Allah
utilize you like he had already
to be a
source of light. May Allah guide us and
guide through us. Inshallah. That idea, brother Waddud.
You know? You could you can interview
the scholars
and from your perspective,
get those questions answered.
But we need that. We need sister Megan,
you know, rise
to be
curious
and interactive
and and being just really genuine. I feel
I I think that would be a really
good, you know, good balance.
Yeah. And, you know, the reason why is
because people know Sheikh Omar is there. People
know that Sheikh Assad
He'll take care of it. People know our
scholars are there, but
they don't always connect. Not everybody connects with
the scholars. Not everybody connects with one side
expression.
And I think if we at the end
of the day, we're human beings.
And your the way that you came out
was those human emotions.
Yeah.
You know, a lot of people connected with
that. And Exactly. It's a gift.
Beautiful. You gotta you gotta use the gift.
Allah gave you a gift. You're resonating.
Don't lock it all up.
We gotta we gotta keep it shining, Insha'Allah.
But take some time. No problem. Take some
time. Time. Take time.
It was such a pleasure. This was this
was one of the most fun we've had
in interviewing.
And,
may Allah bless you. May Allah make this
Ramadan,
very easy, beneficial,
insightful,
and may you grow exponentially,
every day every day in this journey.
You have our dua.
And you and both of you have my
dua as well during this process. Because you're
like you're like a newborn baby.
So when someone converts, we're like, you know,
please make dua for us, our kids, and,
and, yeah, for the whole Ummah. So just
for
your your beautiful personality.
I absolutely will. Thank you.