I Left My Heart in Gaza
Date:
Channel: Haifaa Younis
File Size: 50.99MB
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AI Generated Summary ©
The speaker discusses their experiences with COVID-19 and the need for everyone to think differently. They talk about hospital visits, the importance of learning and communicating with others, and the need for everyone to be aware of negative consequences. They also discuss the need for everyone to think differently and not let anyone convince them to do anything they can do.AI Generated Transcript ©
Zakmallahu alaihi everyone for coming. Apology for the
delay because I prayed at home actually. So
InshaAllah next week we'll do tata'i so everybody
can pray
comfortably.
So you know the subject,
and honestly I know what I'm gonna say.
It's
there's no words to describe what I saw
and lived.
It was 8 days
in Gaza itself,
and it was 2 days of travel. One
day took to arrive,
and was one day they moved us, and
there you don't argue
at all.
Whatever they tell you, you do. Just to
give you an example,
we were in Deir el Balah, the,
Mustash Fashuhada Al Aqsa, the Martyrs of Al
Aqsa. It's the only
still functioning, if you wanna use this word,
in the middle of Gaza. Because Gaza, there
is 3 parts. There's the north where Gaza
city, and there is the middle which is
there, Balah, and then there's the south which
is Rafah, which now everyone is talking about.
We ended up also in Rafah one day.
So
the,
what I saw from the day we arrived
in the border to the trip,
And just to give you an idea, we
arrived 1 hour before
the World Kitchen
car,
and they took exactly the same road we
took. We arrived at 8 o'clock to the
hospital. They brought them dead at 9 o'clock
to the same hospital.
It's
the thing I'm I'm gonna try the reason
I'm I'm speaking about it, and I'm gonna
speak about it in Dallas, and Sunday we
have a program with the 2,
the physician and the nurse who went with
me from SoCal.
It's not only to make you feel sad.
Sad is not the word. There is no
word to describe the feelings.
What you are seeing is nothing.
Whatever is on the social media is nothing.
And when I say nothing I mean it
because I lived it.
What I want you all to do is
2 things, and this is the main, actually
three things because I asked everybody there what
do you want from us?
What do you think they said?
Speak about it and tell people that we
exist
and that we are not leaving
and this is our land.
It's everyone.
I spoke,
can share with you because and then inshallah
on Sunday we have presentation. We're gonna put
pictures and and videos.
First thing I wanna tell everybody is when
you want something Allah will give it to
you. From the day I heard that there
is groups going
to ghazah as physicians, I wanted to go,
and I can't tell you how many applications
I filled.
No one answered.
And I was like, subhanAllah, you Allah, you
don't want me to go. There is a
reason.
And then just the second day of Ramadan
as I was flying to,
Jeddah, a friend of mine said fill this
application. So I filled it, and I thought
this is gonna happen. 10 days I didn't
hear from them.
I was like, SubhanAllah,
again you Allah, you don't want me to
go. And I hear people going and coming
back. I have friends who went.
And then finally SubhanAllah made me remember. This
is why I want I'm sharing this story
with you.
He made me remember. There was a post
on a group I am with Physician,
maybe 3 weeks before I remembered, that there
is a physician who went there, they put
her picture, and she was saying all these
things, and they put her phone number in
that group.
I just texted her
and I said,
Is there a group going? I want to
go.
And she said, Oh, hey, Fayounis.
You really wanna go?
And I said, Yeah. I do.
She said, Okay.
I can take you on 15th this week.
Now a group already left. I said, I
can't. I only have the last 10 days
of Ramadan because that's the only time I
take vacation. I have to be back on
15th for work.
And she says, I don't know. We have
to do there's a lot of approvals.
It's not like you just decide and you
go. She said, you know what, I'm gonna
apply, we're gonna have to have approval from
1 and 2 and 3 and 4,
and even when you get to Egypt put
in your mind that you may end up
not getting to Egypt or you will not
get to Gaza. There's nothing guaranteed. They keep
reminding you. There's nothing guaranteed.
And I said fine, I'll do it.
So I fly with Lilah Alhamd, arrived in
Egypt with Lilah Alhamd. Next morning we left
the hotel at 4 AM. There's
stations they have to make sure you are
checking a lot of issues.
We ended up in the hospital at 8
PM.
The journey took about 14 hours, and we
were wali lah alhamd, all of us were
fasting.
That journey, other than it's long, wasn't an
issue. You haven't seen anything yet.
Before we left, they said
expect nothing. This is actually the message we
were getting. There's no food.
Literally. They said there's no food.
Bring with you whatever dry you can eat.
So we all packed protein bars.
And then take something to make the water
healthy to drink. So the it's like capsules.
So that's what we packed. And then they
said anything else you can bring,
that you give it to people.
And that's what everybody did.
So we arrived at 8 o'clock, 8 PM.
It was dark. There's no electricity for 6
months.
Since
October 7th, there's no electricity in that part
of the world,
and the reason the hospital has because there
is a generator.
So we entered, we couldn't see much because
it was dark. They took us to a
building which was the hospital administration,
and we get there exactly 8 PM. What
were they doing?
Absolutely.
In JAMA'a.
We dropped our bags because no one welcomed
us.
We dropped our bags, and we joined the
jama'. So they did Isha. Right? And they
did all Taraweeh.
And every rukkah in Taraweeh, I had no
idea who was leading, but everybody was reading
better than the other. They changed. Then I
came to know who they are. Every Iuka,
they get they are 2 or 3 aya.
They didn't do it too long. You can't
because there is noise on top. I didn't
know what it is. There's a constant noise
above us.
Every verse in the Quran that talks about
patient,
steadfasting,
Jannah you heard it.
Amazing.
Amazing shirk, amazing knowledge,
and I was like overwhelmed.
And everybody in scrubs.
So it turned to be the
the,
director of the hospital, the director of the
nursing, all the big people in the hospital
were the leaders.
Room, alhamdulillahrubang.
I mean the room
this is a palace.
This is a palace to what I saw.
And he welcomed us and said, I'm sure
you all are hungry. Of course we're hungry.
We had only dates,
and it's from above. He said, okay. We
prepared Istar for you in your rooms.
Me and you, Istar in the room. And
I have pictures. We're gonna show it to
you on Sunday.
And he said, we're not gonna I'm sure
you're all very tired. They get
gave us dates and a coffee, which is
something is like you pay $1,000,000 to get,
said let's go on rest and tomorrow we
will take
you and we'll start the work. Okay? So
go to the room.
What is the room?
I have pictures of it. Me and it
was me and another physician from DC and
then then the man. So they put us
in the
room. You have 2 options:
either you sleep or you sleep because you're
exhausted.
And then they knocked on the door after
and they said the iftar,
and the iftar was 1 can of hummus
and 1 can
of beans,
and because it is us they got us
bread.
So of course we're hungry, so I ate.
Spent the whole night throwing up.
Yeah. The spoiled woman coming from America.
That's the whole who we are.
That's who we are. I'm sharing the reality
with you. And then alhamdulillah,
we woke up in the morning, right? Don't
ask me about the bathroom. Don't ask me.
Next door opened and a woman comes out,
literally next door,
dressed of course I didn't see a hair
in the 10 days.
Allah is my witness.
I did not see any woman not covered,
covered properly.
I didn't see jeans.
I didn't see anything. If anything there were
scrubs of the hospital, on top of it
is the white coat. So the woman opened
the door welcoming us, and she says me
me this and this. I'm actually a surgeon,
but I'm displaced from the north for the
last 6 months,
and I'm living in this room.
The room is
a little bit bigger than where I am
sitting. Half of it is stuff, we don't
know what it is, she and her son.
Where is your husband and the rest of
the family? They stayed in the north, they
didn't wanna leave the house. Do you still
in contact? She said, Yeah, sometimes we do,
sometimes we are. Smiling surgeon.
And she said, Welcome to Azza, hamdullilah, rubbile.
Next day they took us to the tour
and here we start.
How many of you are physicians here in
this room?
How many have been in hospitals
for whatever there is? Right? Normally, when you
enter a hospital, what do you see?
Right? There's usually an entrance, a parking place.
Right? No.
And there is some maybe maybe grass, maybe
flowers, cleanliness, and then there's the main entrance
of the hospital. There's usually corridors, right?
No.
Not in Gaza.
It was all tense
from the door open
up till I get to the there's 2
main buildings. 1 is the ER and the
hospital, and the second building was used to
be the maternity hospital. They changed it completely,
the trauma
center. It's like this and this. From here,
this is the gate, from here to here,
it's all tense.
Sometimes you say please excuse me, I need
to move.
All these people are human beings like you
and me,
and they are living in these tents.
Then you enter,
and on my left, and I see this
simple mattress
on the floor, and there's a woman in
her fifties.
I paid attention. I was like, literally on
the door, like on the door. I didn't
speak to her that day yet. So we
went and they start showing us the hospital.
What do I see? I have actually a
video of it. When you get to the
second floor, because that's where we are gonna
be mainly working,
you start seeing the hospital beds.
And what is on these hospital beds?
Every injured person.
Most of them have no limbs.
The target is on the legs and the
hands.
And doctor Jawadi will he will there is
pictures. I said don't put it. This is
too graphic.
But most of the young men, the target
is toward their legs.
It's amazing cruelty.
Amazing cruelty, SubhanAllah.
And you turn on the right, you see
this, you turn on the left, you see
this. Then we go and says this is
the place for the children. Where is the
children?
Then you go to the NICU. The only
clean place was the NICU. She said those
were from before
we closed the maternity and it was looking
okay, alhamdulillah.
Then they said let's go to the ER,
and they said
I'm an OBGYN so should the OBGYN hospital
is about 15 minutes from here but we
don't think it's safe for you to go
there so we'll keep you in the hospital
and any emergency comes to the ER you'll
take care of it. I said okay, whatever
you say I'll do, I'm here to help
any way you you see me,
so go to the ER.
That scene
I I I have never seen. So to
get to the ER,
this is the building you have to go
through. This is all tents. You have to
go through a like a corridor.
The corridor on the right, on the left,
people on the floor. It's like you are
sitting.
I don't know if these are displaced. I
don't know if these are family. I don't
know if these are patients. I have no
idea who these people are.
Every age you see
a lot of women, a lot of children,
but also you see much less older people
and definitely much less younger men.
Then you enter, and this was supposed to
be the ER.
Literally, like you are now, if I want
to walk, I have to say please excuse
me, please excuse me.
People are moaning,
people are bleeding,
pea it's beyond.
Then they took us to they said the
ER, they took us to the
head of the ER department. His room is
smaller than this. I don't know how the
man is functioning,
honestly.
All these people who are head of departments
in that hospital,
they have not gone to their home, slept
in their home since October 7.
Everybody, everyone was telling me, especially in Ramadan,
we may go for 2 weeks for 2
hours, break the fast and come back. Don't
tell me shower.
Don't tell me shower. There's no water.
We were lucky because we were in a
hospital.
I don't know what they did, but everybody
was clean, at least the people who are
working in the hospital.
So we go in there, and they said
that he was
explaining to us that the ER is divided
now because of this into 3 parts, green,
yellow, and red. The green is is like
outpatient, yellow is less serious, and the
red is the ICU. The ICU, I went
there, again I have a picture of it,
and look at me, I was like, okay.
There's a patient vaginal bleeding. Can you give
me a glove? They look at me.
They do.
And normally here, you say size small
or medium or large, and I need a
sterile glove. Nothing was there.
Whatever they give you, take it. Large. I
said give it to me.
There's nothing under the bed of this woman.
Nothing. There's no sheet.
It's it's it's I can't tell you. So
I examined her, and hamdu liaribulani,
and the family was with her, it wasn't
something serious. As I was examining her next,
like a curtain, next they just brought somebody
who was because the norm is they bring
people who are, being bombed, shell, you name
it. So they brought, I don't know, but
I'm hearing the person with her, she was
I think a young girl,
the one with her the one the the
girl was like not shouting, but she was
crying, she was in pain. The person next
to her was reading to her Quran and
says this is not what we do when
we are in pain. This is what we
do when we are in pain.
Wahidillah. This is you keep hearing this, and
the real Muslims you hear them. Wahidillah, Sayla
ilaha illa Allah, and he reads Quran to
her, subhanAllah. Then I met the first physician
who I spoke to, who I posted yesterday
on the social media. He's an orthopedic resident,
highly highly educated,
and when you literally you can sit with
this young man for hours speaking.
And I said, what do you feel?
I asked him actually.
We are in a survival mode.
We don't have a time to cry for
the people we lost.
You know when you hear this,
like like look at your faces, imagine I'm
hearing this,
and in front of me and I see
around me blood everywhere,
injured everywhere.
And then he said,
and I kept asking people,
if you go back to the October 7,
do you want it to be different? Majority
said no.
You would be so surprised.
They said because somebody has to do something.
Someone has to remind people we exist.
Someone has to people who are in jail
and in an open jail.
Yes. We were living okay. We're living in
good,
good, not by my and your standard. And
when there was food, there was family, there
was relatively
peace.
But somebody has to know that this part
of earth
belongs to us, and they need to know
we exist.
SubhanAllah.
They took me and I said, took take
me to see more people. So there was
one of the representatives in the hospital, he
said, you want to go to a camp?
And I said, yes, take me out. We
cannot move a lot so we have to
go just by walking.
So I walked and maybe less less than
5 minutes, like, from this building to the
next building.
In the street,
there is no services in that part of
the world.
Garbage is on the street.
And this is all planned.
This is all
the plan is to make it inhabitable
so they leave,
and they don't wanna leave.
Everyone looks at me and says go where?
They told us go to the to the
south. They told us leave the north, you
will be safe. Here we are, and we
are not safe. And we're gonna go to
the south, and we are not safe. Where
do we go?
And somebody like Sarkis says, yeah, you can
go to Egypt. You go to Egypt, do
what?
So they're staying. They said that's it. We
will die. We will die. People have to
die for a cause, and we're all gonna
die. This is how they speak.
Then I had this woman, so I I
said, get I need to talk to to
people
who were in the they did not let
us go to the north. Absolutely.
As I said, Gaza is north, middle, and
the south is Rafah,
middle where we were, and the north is
where the beginning of the war. A Shefa
hospital, you all have heard about it. Right?
So this woman said, I lived in she
was giving us all the it's a long
video, and we're trying to translate and then
I will post the idmilyah. So a young
woman came to me, she's probably not 40,
So eloquent, and this is the amazing thing.
They all speak very well.
They speak eloquent,
And and I said, tell me your story.
And she said, well, we lived in a
in the north, and she gave me the
place, which turned to be a very good
neighborhood.
And then they dropped on us papers, says
leave,
and they sometimes give them 2 minutes
only.
And I asked one of them, what do
you take in these 2 minutes?
She said whatever we can grab because we
cannot go heavy because we are walking. So
normally we go out with one bag. Imagine
this is you and me in the house
and someone says, leave. What are you gonna
take with you?
So I I said okay. So she said
we left
from our home
and we went that's from October 7. Then
we went to they said go to this
place. We went stayed there for 2 months.
I said, okay. And then and she said,
the bombing start, and they said move.
So we moved. She, 4 of her kids,
and the husband. I said, Where did you
go? She said, A friend who's Christian and
he is living in the church. He said,
Use my house.
So we stayed in the house.
2 months.
And says well okay in the beginning, by
the last 10 days, she start we start
hearing they know every artillery,
every war machine. They know the name and
they know how it sounds.
She said we start seeing and hearing
the tanks,
and they are calling in Arabic and sometimes
in broken Arabic, leave.
And she says where do we go?
Where do we go?
Right? This is a very educated woman. I
mean she captured my attention for about 10
minutes when she's saying her story.
She said we stayed because and then she
said I responded, we are civilians.
I we are not Hamas. We are not
Fatiha. We are civilians.
And she says they start
bombing
everywhere. She kept looking at me, she says
I don't know how I'm alive and talking
to you.
Everywhere they have certain
machines or certain technology where they can know
there is a living blood,
moving blood, so they know the person is
alive.
And she says, you see it on top,
we go down. They go down, we go
up. I know I am alive in me
and my
family.
And then all where we were, the house
of the Christian man is all done except
2 walls.
Then they came.
They came to her and they said, They
separate us.
They put them, my husband and her son,
19 year old,
and
the girls on the side.
They stripped the
husband and the son in front of the
family.
And then they you know the pictures you
saw?
And then they put band band on their
eyes
and they took them. Before they took them,
they looked at
her and says you go south.
And then she was very smart.
She took her daughter,
she walked,
and then she said
to her daughter so her husband knows where
they are going because she said once if
he's gonna be alive, and they will let
him go, he needs to know where are
we.
She said, 2, 3 days before this I
heard that people are going to the hospital
where we are, so I decide I'm gonna
go to that hospital. So looked at her
daughter and says, we're going to the hospital,
and she put the name of the hospital,
so the husband knows. Said he kicked me,
the the soldier. He knew what she was
doing.
For 9 days, this woman, she said, we
didn't eat.
I I I don't know how they survived
it.
Other than, she said, the only thing was
in that house, sugar cubes
and a little bit of water.
So whenever the children are hungry, I give
them little bit of sugar cubes.
Then we had to leave because they told
us leave.
And he kept she kept saying, now when
you go to Gaza, Gaza is on the
sea,
So here you go, it's we walked it
actually but not from the north. It's a
seashore, you walk.
And then in here because of the war
they put like
all sand,
small like hills,
and she said, the soldiers were on the
hill,
and they
asked us to walk after 8 PM,
so cold, and we were all bare footed.
And I said, how much you walked? She
said, 10 kilos.
It's like more than 5 miles.
So at one point, that young man young
boy, his name is Mu'min, 12 years old,
he said, I can't go anymore. I'm starving.
He ran to the soldier
and he spoke to him in Hebrew and
says I'm hungry.
Allah saved them, these people. I mean, he
easily can
would have killed him.
The the soldier gave him, she said, like
a piece of cookie this size and a
little bit of water.
So when she saw her son up, she
said, I went up and I said, you
Allah, you save me, because all the soldiers
are up. She went up.
When the son was there,
next to them were tank,
and the tank was open. The sun
jumped on the tank tank, wanted to see
what's inside the tank.
Wow.
I looked at him and says, Rui said,
yeah. I wanted to see. What are they
gonna do to me? This is how they
talk to you. What are they gonna do
to me? They're gonna kill me. They are
scared for me. This is how they answer,
12 year old. And he said, I looked
down,
and the soldier in the tank pushed back.
He was scared.
And his mom grabbed
him and took him. She said, when we
went down, walked
till we reached about 10, 15 minutes
from the hospital, and then the hospital because
they know that there's an area where all
the displays they call the they come and
they pick her
up. Now what is the the amazing part
of the story is not what I told
you.
It's what she told me at the end.
She looked at me and she said,
you know what?
This life is nothing.
I never lived
even before this for this life.
I lived for jannah.
Allah, I have it
recorded,
and I wanna go to Jannah. This life
is gonna end.
Today, tomorrow this is how she was talking
to me. Today,
tomorrow,
we all are going, and that's why we
sleep with our hijab.
And I said, why? She said, so when
we are dead, we are covered.
She even looked at me and she started
reciting the Luqa.
I was like,
what is this?
What is this? Then I looked at the
boy
and I said, weren't you scared from the
soldier? No. You didn't know Qur'ania?
I know 4 Azza.
And he starts reciting for me.
Then I went back to this woman who
really
stayed in my mind. Why did we pray
tara wihantahajjud,
and who was the imam?
The call room
is where sleeping,
there's a court there's like an opening before
you get to their room. Don't ask me
how clean and not clean that's not the
issue.
We pray there. We pray tahajjud
from 1 to 3
because we kept saying what is this? What
is this? Oh, alhamdulillah, you're hearing it.
There's no bombing. Get scared when you don't
hear it.
So the the the Abdullah, his name,
and I thought he was he was like
a nurse or a physician in the hospital.
Last day I spoke to him, He said,
no. I'm displaced. I just moved from the
north. I've been living in this room.
I don't know since when?
And Abdulla Haafil?
And I said, Abdulla,
you're half he's like 22, 23
alone.
Where is the family? Don't ask me.
And I said, you're Haafil.
Look what he said to me. He said,
I'm not half old. I'm from a Safwa.
Safwa,
the special,
the chosen.
And I said, what does that mean?
He said, In Gaza,
we have this tradition.
When people finish memorizing the Quran,
there's couple, this group
who
then once once you do this they will
call you a halfwolf, and I said you
do what? He said you recite the whole
Quran
in one sitting.
In one sitting.
And I said, really? He said, yeah. The
norm
is 8 to 2 PM.
And I said how about you? He said
I was a little bit longer because I
just made a little bit of mistakes.
And I said, and how long was that?
He said 8 to 4.
That, Abdullah,
every night he did tahajjud for us from
1 to 3.
Perfect recitation.
Beautiful talk about the du'a.
I normally normally I don't feel much when
other people are making du'a because I wanna
I want to talk to Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala except with this man.
You Allah, when he was making dua for
Allah to lift this,
You Allah suborna, he used to say, You
Allah, give us patience.
Give us patience till your victory comes in.
Look at the dua.
Give us patience till our your victory comes
in.
Long.
Who did we meet in one of the
nights? Can't remember which night was it.
It was 2 AM.
Suddenly, because we are in the back, only
me and the other physician,
and a young boy, 13 year old, comes
in 2 AM,
alone,
Join the Taraweeh.
12 year,
13.
12, 13.
They act like 30, if not 40,
of the men here.
Finish the turuka at Abdullah. He looked at
him. The young boy went to him. Now
we then we understood he wanted to lead,
and Abdullah allowed him to lead.
He led.
Tarawish turqar, bleeding, amazing.
Finished.
He was so confident, and this is under
between bombing and drones. Don't forget that. This
is the background for 10 days.
And then he started doing an ashid about
Palestine,
the love of Palestine.
I don't remember because we were all crying.
Who was that boy?
It was a boy on social media. I'm
sure you've all seen his video. They were
doing cast for his arm, and he was
reciting Quran.
Have you seen it?
That was the boy.
Where is his family?
All gone.
They divide
the casualties or the lib the survivors
there into 3 categories,
and they even have,
like, letters for them. The first category
is single
children
with no living parents
Alone.
The child is alone,
and you talk about 11 or 12.
We saw 1 they put his video recently
on
who was
I I talked to him. I think he
told me either 10 9 or 10.
He was wearing scrubs.
Did you see that video?
And I and I joked with him and
I was like oh, Masha'Allah, the young physician,
he looked at me, yeah, I'm gonna be
an orthopedic surgeon in Arabic.
Alone.
Lost everyone.
Living in this hospital. What does he do?
He pushed the
patient's
beds to the OR.
Where does he sleep? What does he eat?
What shower he takes? If there is something
called shower, what about the feelings, what about
the anxiety, don't talk about these things. These
are luxury.
SubhanAllah.
The day
that the World Kitchen
you all heard about it.
So Monday Tuesday there was no food.
From where where our room was, there was
a window. I can look and I see
the street,
and the norm mode of transportation
is what?
A BMW. Right?
It's usually
usually it's a donkey,
and the donkey
either alone or the donkey is pulling a
carriage.
The donkey itself
needs to retire.
Old, probably not fed, definitely not clean. So
I used to see, especially before iftar,
and you see one shop it's not a
shop, it's one place at the door of
the hospital where they
present what they have.
And one day my friend
looked at me and says do you see
eggs?
This was like 4 days after we arrived.
And I said, I think this looks like
eggs.
Eggs,
we ran down.
I bought 4 eggs,
and I paid for it
$4.
Four eggs.
Others, they don't know what eggs means.
2 days this is all after
the death
of those
where you can start because when we came
through the border,
there were huge line of trucks, all has
things, but they were not inside.
The next day or 2 days later
my
my friend who was working in the yard
texted me and said, there is orange.
And I said, orange? She said, yes.
Went down
to buy an orange. Only one place.
I bought 5 oranges
for $5.
The head nurse the head nurse of the
maternity
and the second one, they all work in
the hospital 24 hours. You don't go home.
In between, come back. It's very unsafe. So
they stay for 24 hours, then they go
for 3, 4 days, and then they come
back, and Allah knows that they will come
back.
So I was with them talking and she
said I said, Where do you live?
She said, I live about
15 minutes
walk
from the hospital. We live in a farm
absolutely at the border between us and the,
the other side.
And I said, Yeah. Oh, alhamdulillah.
A farm. Look at me. And she said,
Yeah. Half of the farm.
It's not ours. I said, what do you
mean?
She said, we cannot get close to it.
If we get close to it, we'll be
dead.
It's like
a free zone, but it's their place, and
they cannot plant. They can do anything in
it.
And the rest we can. She said, I
have 3 children,
and the 3 children got sick.
And please forgive me, they had diarrhea.
So I needed to buy diapers for them.
She bought the diapers for $60,
each one package.
She said a 180 shekels, about $50.
And I said, what is your salary?
800 shekels.
She said the whole salary
went
for the diapers.
And there's questions you just can't ask anymore.
I mean, human dignity. So she she as
if she
she she
learned any she she figured out what I
wanna say, and she says, alhamdulillah, we have
farm and we eat from the farm.
We used to have chickens.
Chickens like like
treasure. We used to have chickens. They killed
them all.
Then I met a girl. As I go
to my I mean, there's stories and stories.
As I go in the corridor
to go to my room,
she
9 years old.
Legs is all wounded,
and I think they saved her leg. I
think the team with us, the vascular surgeon,
saved her leg.
And as I go, she smile and she
greets you. And what's your name in Arabic?
Naini Room.
So I gave her my name, Right? Every
morning. Then one day she looked at me
and says, do you see how happy I
am?
And I said, yeah. Why?
She says, I'm gonna go to Egypt to
get treated.
And I said, who's going with you? I
don't know,
but at least I'm gonna get treated.
9 year old,
what they should be happy for?
9 year old.
Right?
Literally,
those children,
their childhood stripped from them.
I didn't see a child.
I saw a child but I did not
see a child.
There's no child whining
about ice cream,
or the food is not good,
or whatever we whine about.
SubhanAllah.
This woman who I told you the day
1 that she was
on the side of the entrance
of the hospital,
Every time we go for tahajjud,
her her mattress is right there,
and she's sitting on the mattress.
So I was like, I'm gonna talk to
this lady. So one day actually somebody, this
was like 3 days
before we leave, somebody got us cookies,
they baked at
home. Wallahi, when I saw the cookie, I
can't tell you. I was like cookie, something
fresh.
Yeah. He was reminding us of what we
have
and how ungrateful
and how we take things for granted.
So I had 2,
I was coming, I looked at the lady
and I said, Khala, do you want one?
I said sure.
Okay, alhamdulillah.
Then
I asked her
and she said, From the 7th October
we were living in Gaza. And everybody when
they tell you we're living in Gaza like,
you know, I was living in California
and we had to leave.
I took not much with me,
and I came in here and she looked
at me and says, I've been living in
here
for the last 6 months.
I said, where do you go for bath
food?
She said, with the patients.
What do you eat
Whatever they get me.
Where is your family? She said, my daughter
with me, she was next to her, and
the other
are in Gaza. I don't know what's gonna
happen to us.
And you look at her, of course, cupboards
completely. They all wear
the prayer have you have seen it? They
all wear the same.
Everybody.
Everybody.
SubhanAllah.
There was one night
the most scared, I thought I am not,
we're not gonna make it.
It was so scary.
It was nonstop
drones
and bombing,
drones and bombing,
And they were threatening
that they will
invade.
And I remember when I was praying my
Aisha,
yeah because that night I think we didn't
go yet for tarawiyah, they said pray Aisha
in your room and let's see what's what
are we gonna do. I remembered when Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said in Suratul Fattah,
waladi anzalasakinatafiquluwbe
mumineena
izdadu imana ma imani.
You all read this, He is the one
who sent tranquility to the heart of the
believers. We read it, but we don't know
what it means,
right?
I remember I that night
I made all that dua to Allah just
make me feel serene.
I mean it's it's almost impossible, but you
Allah you are capable, make me feel serene
so at least I can pray, at least
I can make dua,
And Khalas said, this is how it is,
this is how it is. We're all gonna
die.
It was one of the most scariest night,
and this was nothing because this morning they
texted me and they said you should see
the last two nights.
Because if you heard now they are getting
to the middle. And Musayrat,
their camp, is about 10 minutes walk from
the hospital.
And they are bombing and bombing and bombing.
The day before I left, they said we
can take you to the maternity hospital today.
It looks it is a little bit quieter
because there were this was the day of
negotiation. I think it was Sunday
when they're they were in Egypt negotiating. When
there is negotiation usually,
you get a little bit better, but then
it gets very worse. They are so scared
when it gets better.
They say if it gets quiet then that
means we will get it.
So I went to the hospital. Of course
you go with the,
ambulance, and literally you say, Ira iraha illallah
Muhammadu Rasool Allah cause you don't know what
is gonna come on your head.
Streets, no streets,
no streets.
They're either bombed on the right, on the
left,
Things are standing, things are lower.
We get to the hospital. The hospital looks
from the outside still
intact,
looks nice.
So when I entered, went to the 2nd
floor, and they were and they said, oh,
yeah. This is the private hospital that it
opened only 2 years ago.
We used to do private hospitals, so we
used to do maybe 5 deliveries a day.
And then they looked at me and said,
and now
50 delivery a day
because there's no other place to deliver. They
do between 9 to 10 c sections a
day. I did 2 in that day.
So I go to the OR
and what do I see?
And I just did the c section yesterday
here.
Anyway when I was doing it yesterday I
was like, Yeah Allah, aren't they human being?
Are human beings only here?
What lie?
The woman they brought her, there is nothing
on that table. I mean if any of
you had surgery, you know there's always
sheets and then they put pads,
right? It's more comfortable.
It's drier. It's humanity,
right? So usually
this is under.
There was nothing under that. They put her
on
the leather. She's usually very cold.
Like,
they had anesthesia.
They did, and they gave her a,
spinal. I don't know how good it was
because she was feeding,
but not shouting, but that's it.
And then
they opened a green cover,
and I didn't say anything because at that
point I was like don't think of America.
This is very different.
For those of you who have seen or
you can go on Google, usually when we
do surgeries, they bring
the instruments in a container, and the container
is usually covered with sheets. It's part of
the sterilizing
process.
Right? That's usually in here is usually taken
aside or thrown,
and then you have sheets to cover the
patient.
None.
And this surgeon looked at me and says,
we are creative.
The need makes you think
better.
It was I have a picture of it.
It's the
green, long. They cut it in the middle
to the point where you can see the
c section wound,
and that was it. Her legs were not
her legs. Her foot was shown.
Normally you don't. You cover the patient fully.
Where is the coterie? It's an instrument we
use to stop bleeding,
and they said we don't use it.
Gloves.
I normally do 5a half. I said, I'm
sorry, doctor, there's only 7a half.
7a
half. It's double my size.
I did the c section 7a half.
Do you have antibody? They say yes. I
said, what do you give them for pain
medication? Whatever is available.
Then as as we finished the c section,
they called us to the recovery room
because there was a patient who was bleeding.
What is the recovery room?
How do they call it recovery room?
No monitors.
You know when you do surgery, if any
of you have done surgery or you visit
somebody surgery, there's usually monitors.
None.
None.
There's no blood pressure cuff.
And I just literally, you know, you know,
when when when you are in a nowhere?
So I just because she was bleeding,
and I just touched her pulse. I said,
no. Her pulse is okay. Just give her
a fluid, and there is nothing to hold
the fluid in. Somebody was holding the fluid.
There is no blood testing in that hospital.
Literally me and,
doctor Hanga, and I was like she said
nothing. I said, you can't do a CBC?
She said nothing.
They don't have it.
We you really have to think.
Use your judgment.
That's how it is.
That's how it is.
You talk to the physicians and everybody, they
say, you know what? That's what we have.
We will
work.
What is the casualties?
What is the casualties?
They say
the numbers you're seeing, these are the accounted
for.
They accounted for.
There's at least double
or triple
that number under the rebels.
Or those
who were,
and it's very gross, the woman, that the
woman who was walking next to the,
sea,
she said, by Allah,
by Allah,
I saw
dead people,
and the dogs were eating them.
SubhanAllah.
And she was right because there was talk
about that. She said I saw it with
my own eyes and that 12 year old
saw that.
What trauma this 12 year old will have?
So they see the casualties.
That's the 33, 34.
There's at least double.
We estimate they were the representative of the
Ministry of Health was telling us we estimate
75 to 80000,
and the number is much higher because there's
people who already have already decayed. If they
died on October 10th, they're gone. This is
6 months now.
And I
said, do you think this will come back
and how long it will take? He said
we we looked at that. He said if
the war stops today, and this was last
Tuesday,
it will take 2 years
to remove the rubles
If the people have the right instruments and
they work 20 fourseven because they live
all they live in buildings
and the buildings are not,
it's not wood. They all are they build
with brick and cement,
so this is heavy.
He said 2 years to remove everything and
at least 5 years
to get to back to where people can
live in homes.
I said, what about education?
Schools are either done or people are living
in schools.
This is what I loved,
the strength. He looked at me and he
said, well,
the world lived
during COVID,
and they didn't go to school.
We can do the same.
In every
camp,
tents,
group of tents, you know what they did?
One tent,
they make the kids memorize Quran and read
Quran,
and if there is a teacher, we'll teach
them.
If there is a teacher we'll teach them.
And when we went the last day they
moved us for security, they moved us from
the middle, they moved us to the south
to Rafah,
and
we were there, and then we saw
a big tent and they said this is
the Quran tent, and I said what does
that mean? Said the Quran tent is where
the kids during the day go to there,
read or memorize or review.
When was the last time you read Quran
since Eid?
You hear it all the time, all the
time. I didn't hear music.
I didn't hear singing
at all for 10 days. And if any
anybody
feels down and they need entertainment,
it should
be them.
Everyone I interviewed, they said that I'm gonna
end up with you, they said talk about
it.
Don't forget us.
Talk about us,
whatever you can do.
Allah will give us victory. They all say
this. We just don't know when.
Victory is gonna come,
but meanwhile,
everybody
talk about it.
Post, they love what we post because they
know there's people think of them and remember
them. Imagine,
you and me, may Allah protect us and
never get us tested the way they are.
We are all living in here.
This is literally how it is. All of
us living in this room with 1 bathroom,
and you can't go outside and minimum food.
How do you feel?
And the Internet is extremely choppy,
and this is we. We are in the
hospital.
But people outside, they have to go and
buy a SIM for 1 hour to see
what is going on in the world, and
they follow the news.
So imagine if we are here, all of
us, stuck in here, bombing on our head,
no one cares about us, and then in
this one hour when they are on the
net, they see someone speak about us.
How do you feel?
So don't you get numb.
Don't you say it's too long. Don't you
say it's not me.
No, it is us.
These are our brothers and sisters.
One day could be you and me, may
Allah protect us. There is no guarantee in
this world.
And the most important thing, and this is
actually the reason I went, is when I
am in front of Allah,
I said, You Allah, I did everything I
can.
Did you?
Did each one of you
did everything in your ability? You can't go
and fight. I can't go and fight. But
can each one of you do something to
those people? The answer is
usual.
Can't we? At least we hear, at least
your dua,
at least whatever help you can, anything. They
said send us anything. They even took my
scrubs,
shoes,
everything they took. We literally,
most of the team came in with at
least 2 or 3 suitcases.
We went back with our backpack
or carry on.
So don't get numb,
don't take it casual,
don't tell me
it's not my issue. It is an issue.
It's an issue of injustice,
number 1. It's an issue of genocide. It's
a clear genocide.
Why do you target legs of people?
Why do you target children? Why do you
make them starve?
Why do you cut the water on them?
They are civilians in hospitals.
So this is what we all need and
teach your children
everything about Palestine.
Talk to your co workers.
I showed
the physician this morning, I showed her pictures
of the c section in the video.
She was in tears.
I said talk to the representatives.
Put pressure. Even if nothing happened,
at least in front of Allah I'm gonna
say you Allah.
I tried,
and I did everything in my ability. I
didn't take it.
I didn't say it's not my cause.
I didn't say I don't care, none of
us say I don't care, awwdubillah,
but I can't do anything. No we can,
whatever we can. The result is not in
our hand, the result in Allah's hand, but
the effort is what He
want
want from me. May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
really don't forgive them in your dua.
You Allah, Ilfaal Ummah and Hadil Ummah
Remove this,
remove this test, remove this tragedy, remove
this atrocity
from the brothers and sisters. They all say,
I don't know about you but I can
buy Allah and they're all better than me.
And their relationship with Allah, the ones I
saw,
their relationship with Allah and their faith and
their they they they're amazing.
The the the war
brought the best in them.
SubhanAllah. I wonder if it was us, what
is gonna come out of us? So don't
forget them in dua, You Allah, You Allah,
Inna Qalaqulli shayim Qaliya.
Just say kun You Allah, stop it.
Enough is enough.
That's what the head nurse was telling me,
their Torah tabna. This is exactly what she
said in Arabic. We're so tired,
and I don't blame them.
10 days was like I lived I aged
10 years.
Imagine those people with no end of the
tunnel
and not a single person did not lose
a member of their family.
Not a single person I spoke to.
So this is why I made this. It's
not just to make you feel sad. No.
We need to be aware of what's going,
and do whatever you can. You speak to
the students, with you, and the school. Don't
be political.
Just just present facts, what I just shared
with you.
These are human beings like you and me.
Every human being deserve
deserve
decent life,
respect,
food,
water.
Every child
should have should not be an orphan by
8 and 9.
Why?
So don't take it lightly.
Do your best. Talk about it. Keep talking,
send letters,
put pressure on your,
representatives.
Nothing happened. In front of Allah, I did.
In front of Allah I tried.
It changes, Alhamdulillahi
Anybody has any question, I'll be
Anybody has any question, I'll be