Channel: Ali Albarghouthi
Series: Ali Albarghouthi - Solutions
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Have you seen our sea
wasabi here, we
will begin by pressing the last panel to Allah
and asking him to give us the energy and the insight and the wisdom and the patience.
And the success to be able to initiate Starling to continue with the series of the series is not very long, I mean, the plan is for it to last six weeks. Sharla has something that is light.
And the title of the series is solutions to life's most common problems. And the idea behind it was trying to do something that will address some of the issues that all of us are facing. So it's always good to study a book and to focus on different aspects and disciplines of Islamic knowledge. But it's also good to try to apply that to specific problems that we're going to address our specific needs. So I've asked you, online and offline in person to tell me about some of the problems that we're facing. And we need to address and forgotten all of that. And also based on experience, from what I hear from you,
I sort of compiled a list of six problems, and each one inshallah we're going to be dealing with each week. So this week, we're going to be doing depression and anxiety. And next week, we'll be doing marital discord, and so on, and so on. And of course, as you can notice, we're going to be spending an hour with each problem and ours, none of them, right, like depression and anxiety, we're not going to treat the whole matter and cover it completely. In an hour, it's not possible. So what we're trying to do is to acquaint ourselves with the problem, to understand it a little bit better, to do some solutions. So that actually, if we, if you ask yourself, who is this for? If we are
suffering from any of these problems, or we no other people, or we want to protect ourselves from it, and we'll have some background, and then inshallah, based on your feedback, because I will still need your feedback, stories,
recommendations, suggestions, we can expand this, whether an issue or one issue of these, we can expand into its own series or develop another series that deals with another set of problems, whatever it is, I would like to hear inshallah, from you whether you're online or offline in person, let me know this was helpful, we can add this we could take this way. So I cannot do insha Allah without provided input. So the idea there is to give keys, or an entry understanding into these problems, and then see where you can with the help of others or on your own, or by consulting people be able to develop this into a more permanent solution. So today, we're gonna be dealing with
depression and anxiety.
So these are two common mental health issues and problems. And they seem to be getting more and more common, that we're hearing more and more about that.
And I'm going to divide my topic and shove it into a definition of what these things are. Second, the causes behind them, and then we'll talk a lot about solutions.
So as mental health problems and issues, what is depression, and what is anxiety.
On the one hand, everybody feels sad at one point in their life, everybody feels my right, can never escape that feeling. Everybody gets anxious whenever you want to do something new, or you're going to do something that previously has failed. And you want to repeat it, always be anxious that you're going to fail again. So anxiety and sadness are common human emotions. But that's not exactly what we're talking about. When we talk about depression and anxiety as mental health issues. We're talking about 84, long, chronic condition, or when I would have depression. They say it's a condition that lasts two weeks.
So it's not a one day you wake up and you're sad and you're down and you feel
Boo, it's not that it's not a couple of days or us just not in the mood as a prolonged condition where you constantly are sad. And it typically is accompanied with something like loss of appetite, you're not going to eat, loss of sleep, complete loss of motivation, you don't leave your bed Do you want to be alone,
you lose hope,
you feel that there is no use in trying anything.
It's dark, it's grim. And it's,
and it continues like that some people cannot leave the house, and some people cannot go to work, they're not productive.
And there's also a sense of guilt, or a sense of worthlessness. I'm not good, I'm not smarter, I'm not intelligent, and there's like,
these things are not gonna change, I can't change my reality, I can't change these things, things are not going to improve.
That is depression.
Anxiety is also a condition where it becomes your normal anxiety becomes hyper anxiety, are
you really afraid, and it's crying, to the extent that this person cannot leave the house cannot be around other people cannot go to the work cannot do specifically things that are normally able to do even with some trepidation with some fear, we will be able to force yourself to do them, but this person cannot do this, that says this person is paralyzed cannot.
And that could be developed into a panic attack, a person could be driving, could be walking, could be going through an interview, and a panic attack
begins with there is an increased heart rate. They sweat, they can read,
they can talk, they feel that they're going to faint. So that also is an outcome of general anxiety. So that's the definition.
Now, what are the causes of blindness,
and some of these things are a speculation. Some of these things are true because we know them in people that we see them in people.
So through the knowing of causes, inshallah, you will be able to deduce a solution, because as I said, it's caused by this, then the opposite of that is the solution. Right? So if you ask yourself, what are we going through causes? Well to protect yourself from if you know what causes something to protect yourself from it, you'll be able to avoid what brings it. And also if you do the opposite, you'll be able to treat it and as I said, this could be for you.
If you're suffering from this at this moment, or to protect yourself from it in the future, or to help other people. So this is for everybody. So even if he says, Well, I'm not depressed, it does not matter, but you want to protect yourself from it in case it happens.
And they see it's about one in 15 is gonna go through depression
it could be more if people do not report that.
So, it seems to be a problem that we need to deal with, because it can be dealt with there is a remedy
there is a light at the end of the tunnel Nick show, so causes. So one of the first thing and I and categories and the causes, they call them structural reasons, things in society, that you find society built this way. They because or increase depression and anxiety. One is secularization of society. The second position of society is what is taken out of society. So society is not moved. They're motivated by a law is not governed by the morality that Allah had sent, but it's completely material. So it's material in its mechanisms and its material and is why what do you do in society? I'm working Why are you working? Just for the sake of money? sake of your promotion sake, okay.
So Allah azza wa jal, and the blessing that the religion of Allah brings to any society is taken away from him. That's what the secular society is weak because of it more material because of it and the visual also, as a member of that society is also really because of urbanization.
bigger cities. So what is urbanization? Do?
It cuts you off from family
and puts the pressure on him
disconnected. And also at the same time and living a very busy lifestyle, you don't have the time for yourself, you don't have time for your family, for your neighbors, for your children. So you're disconnected. And connecting with other people is one of the ways where people will be able to cope with problems. When you have an extended family or you have friends, one of the ways to cope is to talk to them to seek your help. But if you don't have anybody, then you will disconnected. And as we said, is a very busy and very difficult and demanding lifestyle. So there is pressure, with little relief.
connected to that there is lack of socialization and loss of community. You don't get to talk to people.
So what do we do? Usually?
You work when you come back home, what do you do? Or what do we do you sleep? When you're up? What do you do?
Talking about us? What do we do watch?
TV, right? Just watch TV. So if you have a problem, you don't talk to anybody about it, just let me watch TV I want to forget, which it really does not solve your problem. Or you're on social media. You're watching this listening to that you're commenting on this. So you don't have any meaningful human interaction, no one to listen to you, no one to comfort you, no one to give you pieces of wisdom or solutions, or just to make you feel better. So you're passively if you're watching something, you're passively being fed up things that may or may not actually help, or you're on social media, or you're just watching things passing time, but not dealing with your problems and
not getting that human touch that you need. So there's like a socialization, and we don't have communities.
And even if we call it an online community, it's anything by the community, it's really nothing or we call them friends to really unconference
comparative living, that comes out of social media in general, but also out of living in a society that puts us in competition with each other. So comparative living means what? How much do I earn compared to my neighbor? What What car do I drive compared to my siblings?
What is my position compared to so and so how much am I able to accomplish in life versus so and so. So it's a life based on competition, of course, if your work is based on competition and accomplishment when you don't accomplish what happens, you feel inferior and
depressed. And that triggers depression. And that triggers anxiety. So there's increased pressure on you and an immediate compete to accomplish. And we're always comparing ourselves to other people, without pause to thinking of is this why I'm looking for is this something of value.
And also, that creates unrealistic goals,
unrealistic goals, that as you can, all of us can be, which
all of us can have successful marriages, all of us can have right and successful kids.
So if you are a fan of movies, or you read novels, especially romantic novels, it creates these false goals. So when you find yourself unable to accomplish all of that, what happens?
Again, you become the failure, not the goals, being unrealistic and cannot be met, you become the failure of being unable to reach those goals.
And some self help
schools or meditation that tells you that if you just meditate, you'll be successful, if you can just follow these, you will be rich, and you follow what they tell you. But that doesn't happen.
So that also is a problem the free time.
Now, I wanted to ask, did you actually have? Do you have more free time or less free time than your parents?
Less? Less? So everybody agrees it's less? Okay. So I think it's sort of a should be a mixed answer. I think some of us have
said it does create pressure.
And if work is your role all the time, once you retire.
What do you have?
Right? Or if your kids are your obsession in life, the only thing that you can do and think about is your kids. When you leave they leave the house.
Nothing emptiness. That's the syndrome of the emptiness right in the lead and you find yourself completely empty.
So some of
Don't have free time. But some of us do
a lot more than people.
And what happened, you know is that mechanization and automatic automation thing is done by machines Well, before we used to do things by hand, by hand, or create by hand, now we have machines, now we have computers. So that gives humanity in general, supposedly more free time. If you are young, you have free time.
If you're in high school, middle school, high school, university, even if
you graduated, you still haven't found a job yet, and you live in with your parents, you have free time.
You're living on government assistance, you have free time, right? So what's the problem with free time.
If you don't use it, kills,
it kills you. Because your mind wanders
and revisits every possible mistake that you've done in the past, and visits, also your contemporary failures.
And you compare it to the past. And now you take all of this and you beam it on to your future thinking that it's gonna be the same, terrible, unsuccessful, and I promise. So the more that you have a free time and you do not use it, they're more likely that this is going to create the fertile ground for depression, and also anxiety.
And lastly, and causes it under under the structural elements, maybe perhaps this is to me a lot from reading a lot of evidence for it, maybe the type of food that they're eating.
So chemicals, preservatives that are added to it, how we treat animals today, and how that kind of like a trance routine. And to me, I don't have evidence for it. But I'm saying a lot of elements could be a possibility. So it does not hurt to pay close attention to the quality of the food that you're eating, trying to eat as natural as possible. And also animals that they had been treated to the meaning.
So that whatever you're eating is not going to adversely affect
second categories of causes, I call them nature and nurture. So one, genetics, a possibility.
If it runs in the family, may be more likely that you're going to suffer from that as well. So if you have grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles who do have depression, you may be and I'm not saying that you're necessarily going to have it you may be more likely to actually be
more susceptible to a personality type. That's also a possibility. introverts and extroverts. So if you're a person who always keeps to himself, doesn't socialize, does it talk to people versus somebody who's an extrovert, you're always out there, you have friends, you go out to talk to people, if you have a problem, people know about it, they can give you suggestions and solutions.
So personality type may make one personality more prone to depression and anxiety than other people. Although it does not make you immune from it. You can be an extrovert, a very friendly social person, and yet slowly start to grow into yourself. And then depression could start, how we are raised.
How we grow how our personality and world outlook is formal. So how parents shaped our personality. So it's not only about genes, but how your parents shaped your personality? How does it develop what expectations they have? Do they make you a perfectionist? Who's gonna blame himself for any failure or setback in his life? Or do they know how to teach you how to deal with the problems and with failure?
So expectations and how to manage those expectations and how what to expect of your life? So do you have friends with you have not used socialized or not?
Do they delay or do they spoil because it could be two opposites.
And this is all for parents. Or if you've ever been shot by a parent one day, you have to pay attention, you could get to two opposite one, you could severely criticized and blame or everything is their fall and put them down to an extent where they have no self esteem. And any failure in life means that it's their fault.
That's an extreme or the other extreme is to spoil them. So if you spoil your kids, will they actually never assume any responsibility and you're always taking care of their needs. Once they are out on their own. And they are met with the reality the harsh reality of this life they can cope. So they withdraw
to their own cells,
and they can process.
So they lack the skills to be able to process this role. So how you raised
there is that
I don't recall what name they give you to it. But within the Japanese culture, there are a category of young men, most likely it's the young men could be a woman
who do not leave the hill at all, and stay all their time within the room develops slowly.
And it usually in the beginning, right, they're spending most of the time be playing video games.
They don't socialize, they play video games incessantly without stock, video games, video games, video games,
and they start slowly shutting all social connections, they don't leave the house, and ultimately, they don't even leave their own room, you can even drag them out.
And it becomes a chronic condition.
And they need therapy to be able to be integrated again into society. So those young men did not develop like this spontaneously, if they did not have on the one hand and parents who were supporting them, meaning spending on them. And also, that their social connections were disrupted. And they were solely focused on, you know, one media, which is, you know, video gaming, and nothing else, if they did not have that they would not develop in that fashion. But they did it.
So how you raise your kids, significantly affects them, and how they be able to raise
life. And when would they develop also depression or not. But that's one.
Number three, we can do connections with a lot of xojo, meaning a weaker connection.
And here, it's important when I'm discussing this, and I'm going to mention it again, instead of only talking about solutions. It's important not to blame the biggest, I'd have a person is afflicted with this. Don't go to them and say it's because your Eman is weak.
Because what does that do?
It makes it worse, even further down. Oh, yeah.
Well, they're ready to accept that all believe it is your fault, that you're depressed, it's your fault that you're anxious, that's really not helpful. And even if you're suffering from it at this moment, you can take it and blame yourself, because as we said, there are other elements, other elements, so use it to understand the solution, meaning, if you enhance your relationship with a lot, it'll be easier. And you'll be able to exit and escape this problem. But in general, if you want to protect yourself from it, enhance and strengthen your relationship with online, hence your email, we'll talk about a couple of those things when we talk about a solution or enhance your
But if you stray, if you leave,
you can be an easy prey for these thoughts. And for them to develop into something that goes beyond your control. So
think of depression and anxiety, like a physical illness, if you have immunity, inshallah you will be protected.
And the last of these things, and that is the least that I wanted to focus on. But just in case,
Magic, less likely, but yes, if somebody hates you so much, if they're gonna, you know,
do magic against you possible. So as an NPO, magical, even if it makes you physically ill.
With me, right? We can also make you emotionally, psychologically.
So it's a possibility that that could be the case.
Now, how does it develop? Whether it's depression or anxiety? It doesn't, as I said, happens overnight, it doesn't. But it's a process. And when we allow this process to grow, unchecked, unstop untreated, it becomes a situation that we can't control beyond this. So there are triggers, something that happens that triggers that anxiety,
the onset of it, what is that? So why do people you know, be beginning to be depressed. Typically, it's a loss, it's a setback. So there's a loss of a loved one.
parents, grandparents, children, a loved one, and you can process it.
And then other elements are added to it they pile on top and a person begins to be depressed, loss of job or a career or indeed inability to start to improve
You're looking looking looking and you can't. And so you start convincing yourself that the problem is with you. And things start growing, and you begin to be depressed failures in general failure in life.
So I'm 40, I'm 45 and 50, what I've accomplished. So there's failure, and a sense of emptiness. And any traumatic experience, any traumatic experience in life can be this trigger for depression, and also the trigger for anxiety, divorce.
Divorce can be such a thing. And it develops or begins as negative thoughts
as small, negative thoughts that come and visit
and you entertain them.
And they visit you again, you entertain them, and you allow them in it, and they keep growing. And as they grow, you believe in them?
So yeah, I am. Because in the beginning, right, anyone who did not get or you know, get this particular position, get into university get into getting this job, or that person who approved them for marriage or obsessive to be married, they'll have this thought that it's me.
Maybe it's something wrong with me, maybe I'm not smart enough. Maybe I'm not attractive enough. Maybe I'm not talented enough, right? So you have these thoughts? If you start believing in that, yeah, the fault is with me.
And then you start saying to yourself, well, that explains all my other failures in life. And then all the negative comments that you know, you've received before, from your teachers, from your parents, from your siblings, from strangers from friends, they start all coming together. And you say, That's why this is happening. Because if I'm the one who's a failure, I'm the one who is this, I'm the one who is that. And if that's the case, no matter what I do later, it's not going to amount to anything because the problem is with me. So there is these negative thoughts, negative pattern that develops into conviction, and conviction. And it's believed this loss of the whole, and what's
there is loss of whole depression,
anxieties, unlike the price like depression, unlike depression, in the sense that
there's a past failure.
That's once one one aspect of anxiety, there's a past feeling, something that I've done in the past. And if I do it again, that failure is just going to repeat itself. So I'm afraid of doing it. And you allow that fear to grow and grow and grow until it becomes a physical condition that grips you to the extent that you may think, if you try to even attempt that thing, you find yourself in that same position, or saving location, or something that you did not try before you predict it based on past failures.
That if I try this, again, gonna be catastrophic. I'm gonna be embarrassed, definitely gonna fail, and I don't want to fail. See if you can feel your heart beating faster and sweating.
You start seeing yourself, no, I can't, I can't do this. So you turn back. And there's comfort in turning back their safety and turning back.
And it's harder now to go ahead and do this thing and try it again. And the more that you delay, the more you convince yourself that you've been that you're a failure, the more that is, the harder it is to do this thing. Until to some extent, it's harder for some people to leave their own homes, this country's people.
So triggers and negative thoughts, and it's a gradual buildup of these emotions. Now, solutions.
So the first thing that I will recommend,
and that is a solution for every single problem that you have, whether you know this or not, is to have a man and a woman and increasingly
because of the law
law defends the Williams
defends him in what ways?
What do you think?
And every single conceivable way,
from every harm, protects your reputation, protects your family, protects your health, doesn't mean that you're not going to get sick. But unless protection is more than the harm that is going to come your way and protects you emotionally and psychologically.
So the more that you have, the more that ally is going to be on your side and even if you are within
You are in that condition you're under it, you're depressed or anxious. The more emotion that you have, the more that you try to increase it and strengthen it, the more that will come to your aid, and you will find that it's easier for you
to escape it. But you need that. You need that strength to realize,
how do you build your MIT man, that's a whole lecture.
But with believe,
with a bad data, we will talk about some of these things, coming closer to every possible way, asking you to increase your email, and staying away from
staying away from the
you know that
the sadness that you and I feel, I'm talking about the occasional sadness, you feel me wake up one day, and it's just completely anonymous. And it could last 24 hours or a couple of days, and then it goes away. You know what that comes from?
That comes from the fact that I am you have done something that is sinful, and that had allowed that discomfort to enter into your life.
That's why the prime prophets have
said and by the way, that's fine. If you understand this additive, understand that that sadness that you and I feel is not all bad. Because he said,
there is nothing that is going to come away that discomfort, even a freak of a thought.
Even if you trip it except that Allah will take your sins away because of the
sadness that comes your way and my way.
Things that you want it to happen and they did not happen. They did not go your way or sometimes just you don't feel right. And you can explain it is because of something that you and I have done. And we are paying for it. But it also allows them to mistake in a way Your and my sense because
it's good. And when you realize that
it starts to go away, starts to go away because you realize that a lot of the nose communicating something to you. And if you know that something is happening to you,
and you're set it, what do you do?
How do you shorten that?
Sort? Of course definitely. Right? When you when you are when you have suffer, you'll be able to write through all of that and overcoming inshallah and then we'll go away. But if you do that there's some difficulty in your life that's happening because of our sin. We're not yet depressed. We're not yet in chronic anxiety. But this has happened because of our sin. How do we shorten it spell
So you say I repent and you ask a lot for forgiveness, that I think
because that thing is supposed to have gone on.
And the more sincere you are, you and I are in ours to foreign Toba, this thing going so you understand why I'm saying that imagine staying away from the Iran is your first and most important tool that you have in your arsenal to protect yourself from depression to price yourself from anxiety. That's the first thing.
The second thing is the the book of Allah
and the book of Allah has this you know, Baraka blessing in it that when you are reading continuously, and that is a prescription for today. If you are someone who is more likely,
you know about the midlife crisis.
And there's a quarter life crisis.
So if you're in your 20s, it may be through a quarter life crisis. So you want to protect yourself, because some people say, you know, you're gonna go with this. And that doesn't happen to me in my 40s, my 50s my 60s, no, no, no, actually, if you're young and more likely to experience this, if you're more young, you're young today, you're more likely to experience this.
So you really have to visit us
reading the Koran everyday. First, it was
simple. The words of a lot inhabiting your heart and your ears every single day.
And they will put barakah in your life and protection in your life. And sometimes it's protection. You don't know what Allah has saved me from what you're being saving. You're being saved. And you move by the way is going to improve.
Your mood is going to reduce your mood is going to improve your brain
every single day, make it a habit. So you want something to enhance your mood. Don't look for something
doesn't work. Maybe it's not as effective but you're on every day. Be consistent and your mood will enhance
You feel better, and there's deeper okay. So there is a blessing in the words of Allah azza wa jal, but I'm not just talking about the melody of the song, I want you also to understand what Allah is saying.
That is, if your teacher asks you, and he says, read this.
You go, and he comes back to the teacher and you said, I read this book, he says, Well tell me about the lead character. I have no idea what the lead character says. What about the events? He said, Well, we I read it, but I was playing with my phone while I was reading it. So yeah, the words I read the words, but I have no idea what the book is about. would he say, Congratulations, you've read the book?
Go back and read it and read it. So how do you read the Quran if you don't understand the meaning, this Baraka in the recitation, yes. But you need to understand the meaning.
And when someone by the way, here's where we are on works, but
if someone is depressed, they're on their bed, they don't want to just they want to leave. And you tell them go read the Koran, or even gonna read it.
They're not gonna,
they're not gonna do.
Because if they have no motivation, no believe that if they do anything, it's going to help them. So you're the one who has to do it. But even if we say, for instance, to that person, go and read, and they actually go and pick up
without guidance, without direction, I'm not sure that that reading of the Quran is actually going to help them necessarily. And the example that I've given to people before is that if I'm depressed, and I say, he finally told me to be on he's, you know, harassing me to
And I'm reading about hellfire.
Is that gonna help him?
I say, Oh, that's, that's it, Allah wants me to go to hell fire. It's right there,
in bed waiting for Hellfire to begin. That's what I'm getting from reading the poem. He need guidance, directed reading, or someone who actually understands the message of the following totality of the messengers of God comes and says, you know, what we, from this surah, or from this ayah to this area,
you understand, and now see how this applies to you now see how this helps you? Because a lot of the line is speaking to your mind and is speaking to your heart.
And if you understand it, that is therapy.
That is there really, is how do you deal with depression and anxiety? There are two ways out there.
and cognitive therapy,
medication you take
chemicals or not.
Right, which is simply helps you deal with the symptoms.
Because maybe, maybe some balance is also side effects. And
so how do you deal with it, you go to a therapist, the therapist sits and talks to you What do they talk to you about
how you can change the way that you're thinking?
what you're thinking about yourself about life is wrong.
So to change your distorted thinking, so change your thinking, and then change your behavior. That's what therapists is gonna do. So if you are allowed
to do this, or not be the best therapist.
Because it's going to talk to you about the root causes of your depression, the root causes of your anxiety.
instill that in your heart, trusted him is going to instill that in your heart, Raja, Allah and never despairing of His mercy, it's gonna put that in your heart.
As a lot of resistance, even when you're weak, expecting the best from the worst, etc, etc. So if you take these elements, and you start believing them, and you allow them to counter the negative thoughts and patterns that you have developed, you'll feel you
may not be overnight, but you will feel better because even the therapist is not going to tell you, oh, just start a couple of sessions and feel better. It takes weeks.
But if you start that medication, especially the moronic medications and a lot of cool Chief Ministers will do it is remedy for the ailments of the parts. For what is it inside
That's why is
connected to this. This is number three of solutions.
Remember the law by the way, when I say opia It doesn't mean that there is envy that you need for that or doesn't mean that you know, to which there is a magic effect of you. That's why we need to basically is really more honored to you
To kill yourself,
something that makes you, you feeling sad, whatever it is really up on yourself reading the fact
that that helps, whatever that ailment may be, whatever the ailment might be, so read for yourself or your children, but they didn't realize. So for our,
but also General, because that keeps you connected to Allah Subhana Allah. So General degroof Allah, also
the specific difficulty, so the one that takes place in between, and
you need to, you need to have a book,
if you do not read it, or download it on your phone, you need to do and maybe the habit of I'm going to read this bigger between us.
Cuz just like as I said about your mood is gonna improve because of it. And you're going to bring on Alice help because vigor is going to do the same thing.
With whose name nothing will harm me from the heavens and the
previous three times. He says if you say that, then you're protected from the time that you've said it in the morning. And if you say it in the morning, after sunrise, you will be protected from that time till the
CCD loss detection when you ask him for protection for yourself. So the thicker the specific legal law
the related to sadness, and worry and anxiety. There is there is staring.
So there's hiding the prophets of Allah audio system Hi, canon, our
prophets of Allah silan had to do,
he would never leave.
What is it, you know,
becoming unhappy with
your life, seek your protection from
worry. And hazard. Silence. The rest of it is important, but it's not relevant to what we're talking about. But he says
never been this is it.
So if I'm prone to it, afraid of it, I want to see for myself from it, or being afflicted by or Justin Hamdulillah, you know, survived it. Why not use this.
Because if the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was always saying it should
be coming at me, which is basically what we're talking about, protect me from sad sadness and worry, sadness about the past or about my current situation, or worrying about a future
that takes care of anxiety and sadness.
But it's not one or two or three times is to continuously saying and beseech
for his help, and his support.
Also, and there are other Heidi, and I'm going to refer you in
there. Just share with you one of them, which you know,
which is that
it says no one is afflicted with sadness, or worry, anxiety. And he says a lot
if you're afflicted with sadness, and anxiety and worry, and this helps, again, whether you are suffering from completely chronic ones, or it's just the onset of it or your feet, that is going to happen, he says he was sleeping, set up your measly meal sleep. This is my father, we're talking about some of the mind you some of your female sleep. This is your mother that you're talking about. Now.
My forehead is under your control meaning that you have total control over me.
And that is your complete surrender.
And of course, I mean Before I continue, why am I translating this because if you understand the meaning, and you say it will bring comfort to know
Do you have total control over me?
Do you have control?
Who has control?
So why did this thing that this bad thing happened? Because are you allowing it to happen? Follow?
Now see the basic modeling, or whatever you decree for me is going to happen.
Right? So I had to lose this thing.
about me being talented, or untalented or smart or stupid. It's not about the modeling.
Just is your decree.
Salah did not treat me unjustly. He gave me what I need, and took away what
you see, when you believe this and you start attacking it. You'll feel better. Just right now, if you're with me, you're gonna feel better. So yeah, yeah, this just happened to be 1520 minutes ago, half an hour ago today.
It was it happened with this just a lot gave me what I needed to go away what I do not need what's gonna harm me.
So now, can I ask you by every name that you have. And in the details, you taught it to someone, you hit it.
So that the no one knows about it, that you need
to be the revival of
that it brings life back to my heart or be like the rain that drops and bring back life to my heart, and the light in my chest, and the removal of my sadness and the removal of my anxiety, etc. He says, except that Allah will take away his sadness and anxiety and put happiness and steadiness.
So he asked me to bring this book on into my car and make it my happiness.
And there's some other other too, and I'm going to refer you to his,
It's available as an app downloaded. And it's right there. I think it's like chapter 3435, or 3536.
You know, for anxiety to add for sadness, or distress.
that's another one. So the more that you say it, but also say it with understanding a lot is going to help you because of it.
Number four here, social connections, having family and friends to talk to.
You need to develop these social connections. You cannot be trapped by your phone.
You cannot assume gross and social media that you forget about real life and real friends and family. So you need to distance yourself from all of this. Give yourself some lead and reacquainted reconnect yourself with people around you. So talk to family, talk to your wife, talk to you. Talk to your kids, talk to your parents, talk to your friends, develop social connections, ask people about strangers, how are you doing great to see you but just develop social connections? Because no, you know, no, you know whether you know it or not, when you talk to other people who will feel better. Sometimes you feel that the world is so you know, dim and so black, you talk to other
people, you know what's going on with their lives, and you simply feel better.
And also may be connected to it. Whenever it is possible. whenever it's possible. Don't stay by yourself alone, go out.
Whatever it is, go outside. Have an outside activity, outdoor activity, talk to other people. Don't distract yourself until you roll on your bed doing nothing. And having these bad thoughts invade your mind and invades your heart and ruin him. Because if you leave yourself, you know to them, they will ruin you.
Number five is exercise.
Exercise helps right? Actually.
What is that?
serotonin and dopamine when you exercise, especially aerobic exercise they feed into your body. You know how you feel better when you eat chocolate?
Yeah, have you tried it? Yeah, you feel better when you eat chocolate, right? Same thing. So these old ones, they get secreted into your body when you exercise. And you actually start feeling better when you exercise. In addition to the fact that you've done something.
You ran these many kilometers and you've delivered these many kilos and also this sense of accomplishment in it right and you've done something. So exercise
and when you accomplish something you will be able to conquer
Insha Allah, that sense of hopelessness, there's no good life, I can't do anything. Now.
You know that sometimes they say that if you're really depressed, some of the smallest activity can help the smallest activity, just taking the garbage out of the hole, putting it outside that house.
Because you could see yourself doing something accomplishes. So you need to accomplish something. So exercise actually helps. And it adds balance to your life. Like if someone is depressed, they just sit around
Eos. So if you can't read the blog, but then do something else,
talk to friends, go outside exercise, do something, you know, something that is fun, there's going to take that burden away, inshallah so balanced, like, so where you are balanced between religion and holiday entertainment, having a hobby,
having a hobby, and I know some of you are gonna say, I don't have
free time to develop, or I do have a hobby. But if you have free time, develop a hobby. And if you actually work with your hands, that decreases your anxiety.
Scientifically, if you work with your hands, it's not just simply typing things, right? But actually work with your hands go out and work on a garden, plan something or develop have a hobby, where you actually accomplishing and building something with your hands actually decreases your sense of anxiety, and it gives you accomplishment, set goals. This is number seven.
The problem with depression and anxiety in general is that there's just this emptiness and we fill it with negativity, this free time, and we fill it with bad thoughts. But if you have a goal, you're not going to have free time.
Or even that free time that you have to utilize to accomplish those goals. So those goals are what religious only
no religious and
I have some religious goals I wanted to do you know how ambitious you are, you're gonna be religiously depends on you. I want to memorize the Quran, memorize the hottie memorize Muslim, you can have that. But maybe I'm not that type of person. I have some religious goals. But I have some worldly interests. Yeah, I have some worldly goals as well. I want to learn how to program I want to learn how to code I want to learn how to
you know, do plumbing,
electrical work, just do something, have a hobby, have a goal and work towards that. Because then you have something towards to work towards. And whatever you accomplish it fully or in stages, you'll feel that you've done something in your life. And those thoughts of your worth nothing, are not gonna
settle into your psyche into your life. Take advantage of your free time.
How to deal with bad thoughts, this is number nine. Because we said that the beginning of all of these problems is our inability to deal with our bad thoughts. So let me ask you, how do you deal with that?
And all of us have all of us.
All of us. How do you deal with?
avoided? How do you avoid it? It's good, actually, you avoided
distraction. So don't sit alone, especially when you're most vulnerable. And it's just coming and attacking. You don't just sit alone and say, Okay, I know that this is gonna be I'm gonna be an upgrade to that. I'm just gonna sit and take all of it
avoided. So how do you avoid distractions? What are the distractions?
Exactly be around people. be around people don't be alone.
And the problem is
that you're alone, you're most vulnerable to the shape. religiously and otherwise, you're most vulnerable to the shape when you're by yourself. So you want company good company, but you want company. So you distract yourself by being around people.
So that's one way to avoid any other ways to
Yeah, fine, good thing to do. So I don't just leave yourself completely empty. Nothing the rest of the night and nothing to do tomorrow. I have nothing to do no, you plan and that is the type of distraction?
Yes, absolutely. And if you realize that this could be a whisper from the shape
or the shaman is helping strengthen those thoughts. When you see it.
In the influence of the shaman increases and evaporates
These thoughts in sha Allah will become weaker and weaker, and you will have control over them. And then
so we said avoid that distract yourself be around other people say
and you any other way that you'd be able to deal with those bad thoughts?
Yeah, nature, go and vote somewhere when you go somewhere
or go and contemplate the creation.
See the beauty in energy, just see something beautiful. And if it helps,
if you find yourself out there and still not helping, that's not for you or not for you at this moment, seek something else.
Prayer so that the prophets
always say this, if anything, distresses him, anything makes him sad, he would rush.
And the more that you spend time, in Salah in your schedule, and you do
and don't forget about
protection, you see, you're feeling sad. So save some of the
open your book of F calendar and say something he's gonna see. I'm feeling sad and feeling anxious, help you with these feelings. Allow me to overcome them. And keep saying, keep seeking, seeking protection. And these things will go away, find yourself and soda and free to try to concentrate as much as possible. And spend time in your schedule and be calm and slow down.
And ask Allah for assistance and contemplate
contemplate Allah wisdom was power was
mercy, a lot that was close to you when you need to help contemplate all of that and remember it.
And also one way, or the last way of dealing with these bad thoughts is to counter them.
And the more that you know that the more that you know, the sooner and if you have a bad thought, or you say you need to spherical as mercy will, you should know better.
You see no allies, very merciful. And a lot of life is not going to improve. And you will always be a failure, you say no, if I make a law, I'll succeed.
Or you cannot you don't know what's gonna happen, if you leave your home, what's going to happen to your kids, you're gonna fail if we do this, it's just No, I'll put my trust in Allah, I never put my trust in my own ability. But I'll do what I can. And I'll leave the rest of it. And when I put my stepdad taking the first step outside of the house, I'll see the outside of the home, leave it all in the hands of a lot.
So you'll be able to, you'll be able to overcome it.
But this is why because of lies close to you, and you're close to and you bring me
that's why when you're not that close to Allah.
And again, I'm not blaming anybody. But if you're not, that
could be weak. And then when you read, when one sees it at the most opportune opportunity to take advantage of it and damage as much as possible. Number 10. And talking to other people about it, don't keep it all to yourself.
It's not healthy to keep it all to yourself. Some of us a very, very tiny minority of us can deal with their problems on their own. Most of us cannot, when you find yourself that is sort of festering so much that it's just damaging you on the inside, you got to stop and talk to other people about it. Family, friends that in the shape, but somebody and how many of us have tried it, and feeling so bad and just talk to other people, they may not offer you advice,
useful suggestions, but simply sharing with another person that you just feel better. You just share your burden with another person. So don't keep it to yourself. Even these doctors thought I'm a failure, I made this, there's no use in this, this this, tell it to other people. So they can come and tell you No, you're wrong. You're absolutely wrong. And this is not try and see it in a different light and thinking about it differently. And if it does not help immediately it will help
but find someone to talk to you. And if you don't have someone around you, it'll come to the mustard and see the amount of see the shape of the are available. At least it can give you some advice
that could change your situation. Finally, insha Allah The thing that I would say is that we have an individual and also a collective responsibility towards all of this. Why am I saying this is that? I can't if I have a problem and basically wait for the government to act and create a solution for me or the ministry to create a solution for me. If the government is not there. They're civil society, meaning and profit organizations that stepped in to complement the work of the government right. And if the messages are unable for one reason or another
to supply the solutions that you need, does that mean that I'm just going to give up?
Well, no, I have a responsibility to treat myself to avoid that problem. And also, whenever I find the opportunity to step in and create something that's going to help other people, and I should do, CMS is going to simply wait for the message to
either come to the message and say, You know what, here's a thought we need a support group, or people who are depressed, or a support group for people who are suffering from anxiety. Past, Present future doesn't matter. But we need a support group for that. Or we need workshops to this, I'll take the responsibility and a spearhead of organizing this, I'll collect the experts, I'll organize the event or I will create that admin committee, but you say there's a gap, and I want to do something about it. I don't have to wait for people to do something about it. I can do something about it for your own sake, and for my sake, and for the sake of your children.
So, yes, all of the things that really upset right now, we have not given this topic, it's full, you know, it's due, but all of the things that we have said are useful for individuals, but maybe some of you inshallah, would know that, well, you know, I have some time, I have some experience, I have some skills, and maybe I can use this to create a solution to these problems, whether it's this problem or the other five that we'll be talking about inshallah. So I think is very close to 11. At the time, we if we have one or two questions, I can answer those quickly inshallah.
So that is it.