Ahmad Saleem – Eight at Eight #007 How to help your child with doubts in ISLAM

Ahmad Saleem
AI: Summary © The host discusses the challenges of laying off negative thoughts and distractions during quarantine, as well as finding genuine doubts and finding the right person to ask questions about one's child. They emphasize the need for parents to act as a means of protecting their children and culture, and stress the importance of acceptance of Islam.
AI: Transcript ©
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wetsuit into your bag. Welcome to another episode of 888 I'm just squeaking in it at 858 I think is still gonna count because it's still in the realm of eight insha Allah. Today, I wanted to move away from our regular to that bore and that that was the purpose of me doing these lies, right? By the way, my name is Ahmed city and if you don't know me by now

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I am I've committed to myself that I'm going to do daily lives for the next 90 days insha Allah

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so that's a commitment to myself so that I can I can I can hold myself accountable Insha Allah, and the process is many times these are going to be just my thoughts, there's going to be thoughts, and that is that I don't have any thoughts then we are going through a text we are going through a particular textbook, which is called my body to the Buddha, the Quran, how do we ponder upon the Quran. So we are going through those the last two episodes that we have done, you can find them in the playlist. If you go to my channel,

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at YouTube, you're going to be able to find them in Sharla. Now, we are coming live over here. And today's topic is very different.

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And what prompted me to do this particular subject, which is how to help your child with doubts and Islam.

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In the recent few days, I've had very, very strange interactions more so now, since we are in a lockdown, and a lot of the people they're just feeling the kids, they have nothing to do they're not school, they're not occupied with anything else. And what's happening is, a lot of the times in their brains, they have questions, general questions that need to be answered genuine questions that have valid answers. But since they're home, they've got nothing to do. They're thinking, thinking thinking and their brain is going okay, I have so many doubts, I have no access, my parents cannot answer these questions. Where do I go? I just don't want to be a Muslim anymore. Or I have tons of

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doubts. And you know, they might come and just just a few days ago, like, you know, yesterday,

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parents that came to me and you know, multiple parents, but one of the one of those cases that was that I dealt with was SubhanAllah. The parent is like, what have we done wrong? Right? Like he has questioned and he has genuine questions about Allah Subhana Allah. So I wanted to have a conversation with parents today. So if you are not a parent,

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you're eventually going to go through the state phase inshallah. But this will help us understand some of the challenges. Now, first and foremost, when you doubt. So what happens is many times, parents come to me and they would say, I never had any doubts. I grew up in a Muslim, I was not even a practicing Muslim. But questioning Islam, that was never an option for me. Why is my son having all of these doubts? Well, the brothers and sisters or parents, their parents, you grew up predominantly, if you're from an immigrant family, you grew up predominantly in a family where you were living in a Muslim land, and quash the mirror thought of questioning your belief in Islam was

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an immediate this, you know, you will be discredited from the society. Nobody can question that, like, so your brain does not even walk that path. When your child is growing up in Canada, he is taught that question everything, right? accept any of the Liberalist views that the West holds? Don't question those. But you can question everything else right? You can catch question any of the liberal views that we have, but question everything else, question religion, specifically religion, why do you believe why is this you know, why do you have this dogma? Why do you believe in this dogmatic beliefs, and then your child comes home and they they see your culture, they see the

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culture in the house, they see the lack of accepting eveness of fringe opinions, the way you might have reacted to other people, they may you might have reacted to somebody that left Islam, so your child completely closes himself up. Now second thing why you're, you know, he or she never asked. So the second phase that I get from my parents is like, oh, but my son never asked. The question you need to ask yourself is was it safe for him to ask? Because many times it's not safe for that child to ask a question is like, Baba, I don't want to pray. Baba, Mama, I have genuine concerns. Allah is not fair. And and when the child has never asked you that question right away that is an indication

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that the environment that you had created in the house was not a safe environment.

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As much as you in your belief, might have thought that you have given everything possible. You have taken this tile child to the masjid, you know, Quran portata yescarta Wakata usara cheese and we say all of these things, right? He was such a nice kid. He was everything all of a sudden. botanika What what happened to

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Why did he stop?

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Well, have you been he stopped? Because he said enough is enough. I cannot be doing things just because I've been told to do that. And I do not understand why I'm doing this. I do not understand why I am a Muslim. Okay, the third question that parents asked me all the time is, how can I bring him back? Right? i He's gone. He's left. He's, he's no longer Muslim. Is there a way for me to be able to bring him back? Can I bring him back? Can I bring them? Can I bring my child back? And the answer is absolutely, yes. Absolutely. Yes. First, remember, it's in the hands of Allah subhanaw taala. It's not in your hands. It's not in any chef's hands. It's not in any coach's hands. Anybody?

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If Allah subhanaw taala wants him back? Then he'll be back. So you need to implore to Allah subhanaw taala. Now, having said that, I'm gonna throw this question at the parents right now. Why are you a Muslim?

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And pause this video now. And sit there and ask yourself this question. Why are you muslim? What's in it for you? Are you muslim? And many times the answer is I'm a Muslim, because it's the truth.

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Right? That's it. So let me rephrase that. What you're basically telling me is you believe Islam as the truth because of your attribution to it because you are attributed to the religion of Islam, you're a Muslim? Or main times I get this question because my father was a Muslim. Well, what's the difference between you as a parent and as a Christian? Who comes in goes to school and when you know, your child goes and asks that Christian or that Jew or that Hindu or that Sikh? Why are you a Sikh? And that child says, I'm a Sikh because my parents are a Sikh, you are no different. Because you have also not quantified and you have not solidified your belief yourself. Right? And that's

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where the discussion leads me to, which is this verse which is very important for us. Where Allah Subhan Allah says, Allah Munna who Allah Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah does not accept from you gehele Allah that you cannot be ignorant about the fact that Allah is one you cannot have 5050 You cannot have even like, you know, I'm no is Allah there? Yeah, I think you know, I'm pretty sure like that's not acceptable, Allah smart that I think you need to have knowledge of certitude that Allah is One. If the parent doesn't have it, you can have you can help your child. Now, how can you help him in this moment? Few things. Number one,

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accept that when your child is questioning the existence of Islam, his belief in Islam, that is an excellent sign. Because that is how you attain certitude. you certify or you attain that certitude in your belief by saying, let me just get rid of all the delta of God like this don't make sense. This don't make sense. This don't make sense. This all stuff doesn't make sense to me. All right, if it doesn't make sense, then that's a great start because he is now working through the reasoning he's working through this Allah this tool that Allah has given him called Ockel.

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And now he's using Apple to quantify his faith and that is the requirement for you to be able to intellectually prove that Allah is one

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so now first, don't chastise don't rebuke your child Don't say or refer them Marina to Ki. Oh, gotta know. Like all this Punjabi stuff that we say no. And all the other statements is like you know all about God. Make sure you do Toba. This is not how you don't it's not it says Done. It shouldn't be it shouldn't be done. Should be don't. Anyhow, I can fix that. Let's fix that. Don't. Here we go.

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Don't rebuke the child. Do not reboot your child. Don't chastise him for questioning his faith. He is in the right path. You as a parent are required to get him help that he needs. Number three, seek help. If you have not certified your Eman with knowledge, you have not studied out either. Don't try to answer. Like you do more damage when you try to answer Oh, Father, I know sometimes, you know, father's intellectual, ah, you know, I'm gonna answer him. Don't you're gonna mess him up more, you don't have the answer. Right. Find Help. And there is enough help available if you seek. Lastly,

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if that is not enough for you put your son in some sort of an upper middle class. And I know that was one of the reasons when we're starting September I started teaching Mike, you know, my kids were going to public school for the first time. And I was I was terrified. I was like, Oh, my kid is going through all of this and how am I going to ensure that you know those doubts that he has or she

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has, how am I going to make sure that those doubts are answered? How am I going to make sure that there's an open communication between me and my child? And what I started doing is I started teaching them up either every morning, one fine morning, what happened was,

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I was just sitting there.

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I had the phone, and I said, Why not livestream my theta classes on Instagram? Just just randomness, right? Like I was just sitting there, and randomly randomly, I said, I'm going to livestream my classes,

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you know, and see what happens. So I have started teaching Arpita

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I think for almost the last week and a half or two weeks now, on Instagram, you can go to my Instagram page, I discuss all of these things, like all the difficult topics that a parent does not have. Sometimes the ability I'm actually typing this up so you guys can

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it has an official Here we go. All right.

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Here we go.

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Alright, so what you can do is that's my Instagram account at the bottom it says Instagram, Ahmed Salim official, if you go to my Instagram page, and I have an IG TV and I have a list over there, there is a feeder for teens. If your child is or daughter are having those doubts right now. That would be a really good place to start. The second place that is really good to start and let me look this up. It's called

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Manly. Why?

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Second place that's really good to start is this playlist. Let me just look it up. I'll share this with you guys right now. So this playlist is off an individual who started Sheikh Hamza Kingdom ally. I know him very beautiful person. I used to play dodgeball with him when I was a kid.

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And mashallah, really amazing brother. I'm sure Sheikh Hamza is not watching this right now. But if he is, then you know what? I'm gonna put it in comments right now.

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Okay, so I've placed that in comments. That's the playlist. So what he has done is he has gone through all the questions that your child is going through doubts, through science and all of that, and he has addressed them beautiful, he has done PowerPoint presentations, and he has done genuinely try to explain concepts in a manner that your child understands. So right now you have two resources, you can go to my Instagram. And when you're there on the Instagram, make sure you you go and go to the playlist, and I have a playlist for our feeder for teens. And we're talking about why why can there be two gods, if God is merciful, the will of Allah subhanaw taala is it devoid of

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alien or knowledge and stuff like that? So we talk about all those beautiful stuff over there. Anyhow, I hope that Allah subhanaw taala keeps our children on the true faith, we ask Allah subhanaw taala that he grants you and me the ability to be the torchbearers of light. And we ask Allah subhanaw taala that he gives everyone that is going through doubts and that are going through challenges of their doubts or desires that Allah subhanaw taala enables them and helps them to come out of those doubts and certifies and grants certitude to them in their faith, just like a law Harriet Baraka low Fico. I know this was a bit of a long class, but it was important because I've

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had enough cases come up that I need to address this alright, I said I'm Alec

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