Purification Of The Soul – EP26

share this pageShare Page
Abu Abdissalam

Channel: Abu Abdissalam

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode 26/26: Hatred to Others (Part 2/2)

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:19--> 00:00:21

Hey hatred to others

00:00:22--> 00:00:31

narrated Abu huraira allows apostle may allows peace and blessings be upon him said

00:00:32--> 00:00:38

beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales

00:00:39--> 00:00:56

and do not look for the other's faults and do not do spying on one another and do not practice Nagesh and do not be jealous of one another. And do not hate one another.

00:00:57--> 00:01:05

And do not desert stop talking to one another. And Oh ALLAH is worshippers be brothers

00:01:08--> 00:01:12

AsSalamu Alaikum and welcome to another episode of purification of the soul.

00:01:15--> 00:01:22

I'm your host above this sedan and with us in the studio we have from our right, Kareem Mohammed and Glen Ross.

00:01:23--> 00:01:40

In the last episode, we were talking about hatred and we're talking about some of the effects of hatred, some of the bad effects of, of unlawful hatred. let's just recap on some of the points we learnt in the last episode is all types of hatred, or are all types of hatred

00:01:42--> 00:01:57

centered in Islam. Know, for instance, they may be praiseworthy hatred as well. Like, for instance, if a person defies the obligations that Allah has been incumbent upon him, he can be hated for that. So for example, we were told to hate evil, transgression,

00:01:58--> 00:02:18

bad things, scenes, and so on and so forth. That's right now, we were talking about some of the things that a person can do to remove rancor and malice or to prevent hatred being harbored in someone else's heart. One of those things, one of the two of two things we mentioned,

00:02:19--> 00:03:05

maybe to know that hatred is not from Islam, and to prevent it in somebody else's heart. So for example, when somebody a calamity befalls on them, you should not be pleased with such a thing. Yes, so we should never, we should never express any kind of enjoyment. When someone faces some hardship. And we mentioned the Hadith where the prophets I said him said, don't express pleasure at the misfortune of your brother lest Allah should bestow, bestow some mercy upon him, and make you suffer from a misfortune. We also mentioned that one of the things we can do to avoid to avoid any rank or hatred, being harbored in someone else's heart, is to avoid doing things that will make people

00:03:05--> 00:03:47

suspicious of your activities, or suspicious things that can sow seeds of rancor and hatred in someone else's heart. We talked about the Hadith where the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that in the presence of three people, two of them should not hold secret counsel to the exclusion of the third. Why is this such a sin in Islam? Because it may make the third person who's not included in the conversation, he might be suspicious? Are they talking about me? Exactly. Even if they're not actually talking about that perfect particular individual? in one direction, it says, What about if there's four people? And then the prophet SAW Some said, that's fine, then? What's the difference?

00:03:47--> 00:03:56

If there's two people, and you're leaving those two people out? What's the difference between that and leaving that one person, because when there's three people, then

00:03:57--> 00:04:39

the other person knows that he's the only other person there. So maybe they are talking about him, there's more room for suspicion, we feel like even though that person should not suspect, but the sin is also upon the one who, who, you know, starts off this suspicion by by trying, but by doing this, what they call a secret gathering. So does that include, for example, speaking another language, it can include speaking another language, especially if there is room for a person to think that you're talking about him, it is absolutely clear. And you know the person well enough that you can speak another language, perhaps there's three people in the room, two of them know one

00:04:39--> 00:05:00

language, and the third doesn't know that language. If it's absolutely clear to him, that that person does not that we're not speaking about you. And that's made clear to the person and perhaps you can take permission from him to speak in his presence, then there is no problem in that example, but once you can whisper or take the personal side and these kinds of things.

00:05:00--> 00:05:47

Now, the third thing that one can do, and this is a very important point, and it's a very important Sunnah, that many people have, have not fulfilled, have left have abandoned, and that is that if someone loves his fellow Muslim brother, then he should not be shy. But rather he should tell him, I love you for the sake of Allah like this. And we often love those who showed love to us. And this is perhaps one of the wisdoms of this, you might not have held someone in high esteem or in a, you know, a lot of love in your own heart. But when you come to know that that person loves you, psychologically, psychologically, you feel a bit more comfortable towards that person, you begin to

00:05:47--> 00:06:25

appreciate that person a bit more, because of the people like like it when other people love them. The prophets lie Selim said this. He said, If a man loves his brother, then let him tell him that he loves him. Then let him tell him that he loves him. And if he shy, away shy, he can just say, he can mention the honey. The prophets lie Selim said, If a man loves his brother, they let him tell him that he loves him. So because I want to act on this Hadith, I'm telling you, I love you for the sake of Allah. So this is one way of doing this. Likewise, ns radi Allahu anhu. He said that a man was with the Prophet sallallaahu. Selim, when another man passed by, the first man said, O Messenger of

00:06:25--> 00:07:06

Allah, indeed, I truly love this man. I truly love this man. The prophet SAW Selim asked him, Have you let him have you let him know that you don't have you told him that you love him. He said, No, the Prophet slicin said, Tell him. So the man caught up with him and told him truly I love you for the sake of Allah. And the man replied mail, I love you, because you love me for his sake. So again, another example practical example, where sometimes a person might be shy, I can't tell him that it's, it's, you know, sloppy, or it's, you know, considered not mature enough or whatever. This is against the standard attitude. Rather, if a person loves his Muslim brother for the sake of Allah,

00:07:06--> 00:07:07

then he should tell him that

00:07:08--> 00:07:15

now, in order to cure oneself, of this unlawful rancor, hatred, and malice,

00:07:16--> 00:07:35

of another Muslim, then a person can do a number of steps, he can, he can do a number of things to cure himself of this disease. But before we actually look at these cures, let's think let's look at what you guys think. Or what kind of ideas that you have, in this regard.

00:07:37--> 00:07:53

How to deal with how to deal with, you know, hatred that you have in your, in your heart, as you mentioned, you know, do the opposite thing. So, you know, show show you show some love towards the person, you know, giving gifts, you know, I said to him,

00:07:54--> 00:08:03

yes, make you offer him do the opposite of what your hatred is telling you to do, and things like that, I should ask myself, why should they hate him?

00:08:04--> 00:08:32

Especially when especially that God has made of us brothers in his life? Absolutely. Allah has chosen for you brotherhood between you and him, because he declares let alone you declare that you like the law. And you have the common goal of trying to attain the pleasure of electronic obtain the after the paradise of a Lost Planet, Allah. So why should I hate my brother? Often, sometimes miss understandings lead to kind of hatred,

00:08:34--> 00:09:06

and a person, a number of people that have similar goals, but they end up hating each other. How can one, you know, avoid that, especially when you've got a similar goal with someone else? Why not help one another, in achieving that goal? I mean, in particular, like in any project, that people have any project, whether that be in dour, or in a working environment, or any project that people have that they work together, sometimes difference of opinion

00:09:07--> 00:09:45

in how to achieve a particular benefit, or a particular goal leads to hatred. And that's very sad, because it's more sad than usual, because in this case, both people want the same goal. So one way of removing that is for each person to think Well, okay, I differ from him, and he differs from me. But hey, goals are the same. Let's look at each other. And look at the common things between us as opposed to looking at the things that divide us. What else could could remove this kind of hatred in the person's heart? Here's the other excuse,

00:09:46--> 00:10:00

excuse him for being different than except the diversity of opinion, accepted diversity of opinion. Only if this difference of opinion is accepted in the Sharia. Of course, in Islam, if there is this, this difference of opinion is actually

00:10:00--> 00:10:09

accepted in the Sharia, then yes, we must be able to be tolerant with each other, make excuses for each other. I did see a very good example. In fact of

00:10:10--> 00:10:27

one brother he was, he was speaking to another brother, or there's a group of brothers. And one brother really showed his dislike for another, another person, that group like he was given salaams and asking how everyone else was, when it came to that brother, he pretty much blanked him totally.

00:10:28--> 00:11:11

Yeah, I mean, like, is a group around each other. And he was very blatant in the way he was treating the others kindly, and will ignoring this brother. And this had the potential to be volatile situations. But the reaction that brother is very, very praiseworthy. You know, he, he, instead of showing dislike to him, yeah, he's smiling at him asking how he was, you know, really, really showing, you know, that he can't help the situation. He did. He did, in fact, I mean, it took a couple of minutes First, the brothers trying to ignore him, but the brother was so much in his face. And so, you know, asking how he was being very kind to him. During the end of the conversation, you

00:11:11--> 00:11:47

know, within five minutes, the brother started talking to him responding to him, you know, you know, answering these questions, asked me how he was, etc. And, you know, within that space of those five, five minutes, you know, from the beginning, where the person showed, you know, great dislike and hatred for that person, by the end user, he will not train he was, you know, he was, he was very cheerful with him in the end, you know, and said, You know, when I come out, you know, next time I come here, I will visit you, I'll let you know, etc. So, but this was down to the presence of that person, not to react in a bad way to that person.

00:11:49--> 00:12:01

After the break, inshallah, we'll have a look at more cures, that some of the scholars have mentioned, with regards to this, the sin of harboring ill feeling towards another Muslim, a Solomonic.

00:12:18--> 00:12:37

In the name of Allah, Muslims will be fasting all over the planet Earth, in China, in Russia, in Southeast Asia and Africa, in America, in Europe, in the Middle East, in all parts of the planet, all nations, all races, all people will be fasting in this blessed month.

00:12:48--> 00:12:50

Assalamu Alaikum and welcome back.

00:12:52--> 00:13:42

Before the break, we were we started discussing some of the remedies for the disease of harboring unlawful hatred, and dislike for somebody else. Let's go through these dis. Let's summarize these cures. And first, firstly, a person who finds that he has got he's harboring hatred, or dislike, malice, rancor in his own heart, then he should remind himself that Islam encourages us to love each other for Allah sake. Indeed, Allah has praised those who love each other for his sake, and has attached great rewards for that. He should think of the reward for those who love each other for LASIK. So when we can see this in a number of edits in one the prophets lie Selim mentioned, the

00:13:42--> 00:14:26

seven types of people whom Allah subhanaw taala will shade on the day when there is no shade but his shade. And one of the people or two of the people that he mentioned is two men who love one another for the sake of Allah meeting for his sake and partying for his sake and this hadith in Bukhari, and Muslim. So when a person remembers this, he begins to realize that actually there's a reward for loving another Muslim for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala Why should I have hatred in my own heart, instead of having hatred in my own heart, let me change that, let me overturn that hatred and, you know, try to remove it and replace it with love for the persons eema another Hadith. In another

00:14:26--> 00:14:59

Hadith, Abu huraira, the Allahu anhu said that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that a man went to visit a brother of his in another village. Now last panatela sent an angel for him on the road. When the man came along, the angel asked him, where do you intend to go? He said, I'm going to visit a brother of mine. In other words, a Muslim brother of mine who lives in this village, the angel asked, Have you done him any favor? In other words, are you waiting a trying to get some worldly reward or repayment for a favor that you've given

00:15:00--> 00:15:35

And the person said, No, I just love him for the sake of Allah. The angel then replied, I am a messenger to you from Allah sent to tell you that he loves you that Allah loves you, just like you love your brother, for Allah sake. Now this is an amazing Hadith reported by Muslim, that we can see that a las panatela sent this angel to come down and tell this person, person from the earth just like someone like you and me in this world who has feelings just like you and I accept that he loves his brother for the sake of Allah.

00:15:36--> 00:16:20

And so the angel came and told him that last month our lesson I mean, this is amazing. In fact, even among those who love each other for love's sake, the better one is the one who has the greater love of his brother. And the prophets lie Selim explained this, he said that no two men love one another. But the better of them is the one whose love for his brother is greater greater, and is reported in a muffler. So even with within people who love each other, for love sake, there are different degrees, that the one who is who has more love is better than the one who has less love than the other one. I mean, how we've seen, this is the case very clearly, where, you know, the last month

00:16:20--> 00:16:54

Allah praise His love for his sake, and so on and so forth. But why is this such an important cure, to remedy oneself of, of hatred? I mean, if you love someone, then very hard to hate and hatred for them. So knowing these evidences, knowing the rewards of these things, it will increase a person's love for Allah subhanaw taala. But is it possible to disagree with people and not hate them, you can disagree with somebody but not hate them. Just because you disagree with somebody doesn't mean you hate them. Just like for example,

00:16:55--> 00:17:35

you know, two brothers who disagree on what color to paint a house, for example. Okay, that is something, it depends on how seriously one feels about the color of the house. But if he, eventually one of them will or may or may not give up the right to choose and leave it to the other person. But the point here is that one can differ. In this scenario, eventually, one will overcome the other. But in other scenarios where one can overcome the other, you can easily differ, as long as it's legitimate, differing, but yet love the person. And there are many examples of this among the scholars of Islam, let's go and have a look at some,

00:17:36--> 00:17:40

some interviews that we did earlier on with regards to this very topic.

00:17:41--> 00:17:50

Each person should, should should, should work on helping each other person in his country in his Street, in his house.

00:17:52--> 00:17:53

I think

00:17:54--> 00:18:04

when each each one loves himself and wants to do the thing that he wants doing right, he would start helping his fellow students, his friends.

00:18:06--> 00:18:22

And by helping by helping others, each one would help his friends, it would be a relation that all of the society in our Egyptian society would help each other which would prevent it with him, read himself of hatred, I guess, this wouldn't be very appropriate to say, but this is my opinion,

00:18:24--> 00:18:56

you have to dive right into it, you know, because if you can't really let go in the beginning, like if you really hate something, no one likes the feeling of hate, you know, so if you, if you hate someone or something, and you can't get rid of it easily or naturally, then I think, to rid yourself of it, you have to face it, you'd have to look it in the eye and go deep into it. If you want to scream something out, if you want to just admit it, you know, accept that you have hatred and look it in the eye, don't try and resist it, don't try and rid yourself of it just become the hatred, you know, feel it in every part of your body and your thoughts. Whatever, just hate you know what I

00:18:56--> 00:19:30

mean, and eventually, it will fade away and I am. And so with anything else, you know, any anything that you fear or anything that you don't feel good about, you know, the more what you resist persists. And the more you resist something, the more it will remain in your experience. But once you look it in the eye, once you face it, once you accept that it's there, then you can start moving past it or transcending it, then well, I think that through good companionship, one can give it to the for himself of his hatred. Because if you're surrounded by good people, then you can transfer the data to love because you will not feel it feel any difference between you and your friends. And

00:19:30--> 00:19:44

if there's any any person having hatred towards another person, then the friends can solve this issue together. I think Islam is a religion that teaches how to tolerate others, even if they're not following Islam. I mean, for example, the prophet peace be upon him.

00:19:45--> 00:19:47

He was very tolerant of his

00:19:48--> 00:19:57

Jewish neighbors like the man who used to throw the garbage at his door. And then, when the man was sick, the prophet like,

00:19:58--> 00:19:59

made a visit to this man.

00:20:00--> 00:20:27

And the man was very much like surprised by how the Prophet act acted on such an occasion like the manual, was suppose that the Prophet would like be like full of aid to the Prophet, but actually the to the to this method, the Jewish man, but actually the Prophet was very tolerant. And I think this is like a prime example of tolerance and how to get treated for hatred in Islam.

00:20:30--> 00:21:15

Very interesting comments made there. Now we were talking about some of the remedies that a person can follow in order to cure himself of this disease of unlawful hatred for his Muslim brothers. One thing we mentioned is to know and come to realize and remind himself of the blessings or the rewards and virtues of loving one another for Allah sake. The second thing that a person can do a practical thing is that he should make the offer the person that he hates, and one of you mentioned this, I think before the break, and he should sit in private, the person should ask Allah subhanaw taala, for good for the person that he hates. And this is acting totally contrary to his own self, which is

00:21:15--> 00:21:43

telling him to do the opposite. He should force himself to do this knowing that a Lost Planet Allah will give to that person, whatever he has already decreed. So it's difficult to make the alpha one whom a person hates. So by doing this, he's forcing the hatred out of his soul. He's training himself to remove this hatred, to you know, just like the limb, the example we always give about the limb that is diseased, or that is, you know, that the broken leg needs training, to come back to

00:21:44--> 00:22:30

a good, good healthy kind of situation. The third thing he can do is that he should ask a Lost Planet Allah to remove the hatred from his heart. And perhaps this is one of the most important things that one can do beg Allah, perhaps pray extra night prayers, give extra charity, do all those things that that would increase a person's well being answered by last Panetta, and then beg Allah, Allah, Allah, you're the one who created me, you have control over me, as well as my soul, my desires, control over things that I can't control, although you have control over shaitan, not the one who created shaitan. So Allah, please remove this ill feeling in my heart. So this is a very

00:22:30--> 00:23:13

practical another practical way of dealing with this disease. The fourth issue is the fourth remedy, if you like is that he should act in defiance of this hatred, and this hatred, perhaps orders him to do something. If it does that, then he should strive against his soul and do the total opposite. When he walks by a person whom he hates his soul, my truck may try to entice him to hurt that person or to mention some kind of bad words against him. And maybe if he's not there, he might be tempted to backbite him to slander him, to tell carry and all the other diseases, to become angry at him and so on. So hatred, it does it has many offshoots, if you like. So what he what should What should he

00:23:13--> 00:23:33

do in this case, he should refuse to obey his soul he should act contrary, in in a contrary way, and perhaps he should even praise the person. So he wants to slander him, No, let him plays present. He wants to backbite him, instead, let him speak good about him. And this is a very practical way of dealing with with this.

00:23:34--> 00:24:18

With this disease, what else can a person do to cure himself of this? boy, boy, the person that he hates, or feels hatred to gifts? Yeah, buying a person gift again, acting contrary to his own soul, people like receiving gifts. And again, we always talk about the reciprocating love. When you give a gift to somebody, they show appreciation, they get happy, they show like and love for you. and that in turn, removes the hatred you have in their heart. People like to love people love people, people often love people that love them. What else can a person do to remove it? He can think about the merits and advantages of and good traits of this character so that he can decrease the intensity of

00:24:18--> 00:24:59

this hatred, yes, and treat him friendly. And this is a very important point. And this is especially the case between a married couple, everybody has defects. Everybody, there's no person except the Prophet Mohammed sly Selim of this onma who didn't have defects who didn't have sins. Now, with regards to other human beings, since everybody does have these defects, then we should balance out we should look at their positive points. And even Allah, Allah mentions this in the Quran. If you dislike your wives, you find something distasteful in them, then think about the good things that they have. Allah subhanaw taala

00:25:00--> 00:25:29

Perhaps you will put many good things in that person. And this is absolutely the case with friends, brothers, and so on and so forth. you dislike someone, but for a particular quality, think about the good qualities of that person. What else can a person do? I mean, related to that, you know, you can think of the good things and also tell other people about these good things, the more you mentioned the good qualities of those person to other people. And think about it, the less you think about those things that yes,

00:25:30--> 00:26:08

absolutely. That's right. So with this inshallah, we'll end this episode on hatred. And I asked a Lost Planet Allah to cure us of the diseases of our heart is a Lost Planet, Allah to give us the ability and tofik to practice what we know the knowledge that we have and teach, asked Allah subhanaw taala to remove all these diseases of the heart and asked Allah subhanaw taala to make it easy for us to increase our own souls with the good traits or some law who said Lama Baraka, Allah Nabina, Muhammad Ali, he was fbh mine Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh