Channel: Abdurraheem Green
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I have a question at least like similar to yours my mom's issue. And my father's at least. And still before Islam. I had some contact with them. But when I came to Islam, they are so much against me. They don't want to have contact with me. They don't want me to live with them. And Islam is forbidden to live alone. Yeah. So what should I do? How should I talk to them? Okay, how long has this been?
One year? Okay. Let me tell you something about my story. Yeah. Okay.
Okay. The question was, the sister says, I've been Muslim. She's been a Muslim. Now for a year, we found that her parents don't talk to her. And she has been even she can't live with our parents that I wanted to live in.
Okay, so what shall we do? What shall I do? I'm not allowed to live alone. No, you can sister first of all, you are allowed to live alone. It's no problem. You can do that. I'm done. That's not haram. Okay. But let me tell you about what happened to me. Right? When I became Muslim, right? You know, when you go back to my story, remember my girlfriend, she came over and my mom said, Why are you staying here? And this and that? Right. Okay. So from there, we pick it up, right? So I now beginning to any, you know, I'm talking to you know, I what, you know, I feel so good about Subhanallah praying and following Islam. You know, what I think all I need to do is explain this to
my parents, and they will accept it, because who could not want to follow this beautiful way of life? Right. But anyway, my parents didn't take it very well, you know, when I started explained to them and I'm not eating, you know, I only halal food now. Maybe I'm going to take over the House, maybe? I don't know. Okay, so I only I say I can only halal food, you know, and this and that. And, you know, so many things. I can't drink alcohol. And you know, I don't go to the parties and you're used to be such a good dancer. You know, they say to me, you know, it's such a shame. So all of these things. So, you know, you know, my mom, she comes to me, she says to me, you know? And if you
want to be religious, why don't you go and live in a monastery?
When should you live in a monastery, as it is not Islam? See, in Islam, we live in the world. We work, we live in the world, we do jobs, we and we still try to worship God. We don't believe that in our religion. You run away and live in a mountain or this and so it's not Islam. Right? Anyway, I've come here to tell you that since you hate us so much. And since you hate everything about us so much, we have instructed the solicitors to take you out of the will.
Meaning you will NOT inherit anything from us anymore. Okay. So it's like, Thanks, Mom. I didn't say that. That's what I'm thinking. Okay. So
that was what they said to me. I actually handled I didn't care. I said, so Allah, He is going to look after me. That's more important. Even my dad reached a stage, he said the same thing. You better leave, you better go back to London, because really, we've had enough of you. And you need to go back to London and this and that. Okay. So things were not very good between my parents for a while. And then something changed. Right? It wasn't getting married, actually. Okay, because actually, after I got married, then something happened between me and my mom, which was even worse. She said something to insult the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam. And I just went crazy. Okay, to
tell you the truth. I just went crazy. I smashed some things in this I couldn't even talk to I was so angry. Right? This was just the day before I was leaving. I was staying with them. And after that my mom didn't talk to me for about a year. But you know what changed all of this? Yeah. When the first baby came? Yeah. Okay. Abdullah, he's not here. Okay, be so embarrassed. Okay. But because he's 18 now drives a car and stuff like that.
You know, but
when the first baby came, believe me it changed everything. No, because it puts it all into perspective. This is the grandchild. You know, I would really have to say that if you get married sister and you have kids and still your parents are not talking to you, then probably your parents are not the sort of people that really are worth having contact with. Right? Because they must have hearts made of stone. Right? I mean, it must be literally or maybe they're Vikings or something.
Tough people. I'm just joking about the Vikings. No, but I mean seriously says that they must you know, I really think that you know, I say and I've said this to so many people in fact, I know many other people, Sisters Brothers in Islam who exactly
In the same story, one of my, you know, one of my good friends the same thing, his wife was a convert to Islam, her mother totally stopped talking to her had nothing to do with her, then the first baby came, and that's it, everything changed. And so it's a story that you find quite often, you know, it repeats itself, my relationship with my parents now is better than it has ever been in my life. Okay? You see, because what I have tried to do is both explained to my parents and show them through example, the way that Islam teaches me to behave towards my parents, right? In fact, I gave my book I've tried to give my mother and that's so much dour, but the best book I ever gave her
is called Mother. And you know, this book has verses of Quran, and Hadith and some poetry about how you treat your mother in Islam. You know, and you know, subhanAllah, it mentions how the prophets so when someone came to the Prophet, he said, Who has the most right to my kindness, your mother, and then after that, your mother, then after that, your mother, and then after that, then your father. In fact, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, he said that you can never pay your mother back. There is nothing you can do to pay your mother back. Your father, if you found your father a slave, and you bought his freedom, you pay him back, your mother, you can never pay him back. And it
mentions the story, as you probably know of Omar, when he was the KDF. And a man came, and he had carried his mother on his back through the hole of the Hajj. And he said to Omar, Omar, did I pay my mother back now? He said you did not pay her back for one tear she shed when she gave birth to you. Right? This is a religion you can you tell me Islam does not respect women.
Subhan Allah, right. Allah says reverence Allah and the wounds that boy, in fact, one of the names of Allah or rock man is linked to the Arabic for womb, Raha. And so Allah said, and it's the same, because it means mercy. And Allah linked his mercy to the womb, meaning whoever cuts off from the relationship. Excuse me, whoever cuts off from the relationship, the family ties, Allah, Allah will cut from them. Okay, so sister, the thing is, what you have to do is this is the same for anybody, by the way, right? In Islam, we do not cut the ties of relationships, we do not cut the ties, okay? We don't even I take that what I said, even if you have a baby, and it's your first parents first
grandchild or not, or whatever, and they don't talk to you, you still don't give up. You never give up. You send them presence. You write to them, you phone them, you do whatever you can to make relations good with them without I have to say, compromising your religion. Don't do something that is haram. That's a big mistake. Right? As long as it's halal, right? You can compromise you compromise whatever it is, as long as it's halal. If you can make that compromise, make it right. If it means leaving a sunnah or something must have if it's going to please your parents leave it or if something haram No, you don't do that. Right? So you never ever give up trying to you know, make a
good relationship between your parents, not only your parents, all of your relatives, whether you are Muslim or not. Okay, so breaking the family ties is very serious because Islam considers the family to be so so so important. So Sister, you just have to be patient in sha Allah. Yeah. Be patient. Inshallah, everyone here is going to make dua Inshallah, right for the sister that Allah subhanaw taala softens the heart of her parents to her to Islam. And by the way, I always ask everyone as well to make dua that Allah subhanaw taala guides my parents to Islam. So please make dua brothers and sisters that Allah guides my parents wish them I mean your enemy