Abdur Raheem Green – Depression In Life Hope In Islam

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Abdurraheem Green

Channel: Abdurraheem Green

Episode Notes

For sure in remembrance of Allah hearts find comfort.

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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They'll handily learn the one a stain on stuff. When I was a biller. He mentioned Audi and fusina.

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women say, Medina Mayor de la fille mo de la Wilma util for her de la wa should one La ilaha illallah wa the hula shriek Allah wa shadow Mohammedan Abdullah who was Zulu that we begin by praising Allah, we praise Him we seek His help and we ask for his forgiveness and we take refuge with ALLAH, from the evil of ourselves and from the evil consequences of our evil actions. Whomsoever Allah guides, no one can misguide. But whomsoever Allah leaves to go astray, no one can guide and I testify that Allah alone is worthy of worship and that Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his servant and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said

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that the world

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and everything in it is cursed.

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The world and everything in it is cursed.

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Cursed means

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that Allah's blessing is removed from that thing.

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So the world and everything in it is cursed. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam you mentioned some exceptions.

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He said except

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the scholar of the religion,

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the student of knowledge,

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the remembrance

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of Allah.

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And what helps you to do that?

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The scholar,

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the student of knowledge,

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the vicar of Allah, the remembrance of Allah

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and whatever helps you to do that.

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Concerning Vicar, Allah subhanho, wa Taala. He told us in the 13th, surah and ayah 281. Verily,

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certainly in the remembrance of Allah, the hearts find rest,

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the heart, the mind, the soul of the human being,

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most certainly finds rest

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in the the curve of loss

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and how could that not be?

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When Allah subhanaw taala He said, The meaning of which is remember me and I will remember you.

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So, panela

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if you remember Allah, Allah Subhana Allah, He will remember you.

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And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that Allah subhanaw taala said

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that if you remember that Allah said if you remember me,

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in my in your heart,

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I will remember you

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in myself

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and if you gather together

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in a place and you mentioned me in front of a group of people, I will remember you

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in a better gathering.

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The Vicar of Allah subhanaw taala

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is something the term liquor is something really quite comprehensive.

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Perhaps many of us imagine that a gathering of liquor or people gathering remembering a loss of power to Allah

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means as some people may imagine

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you know what

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if this is gonna squeal just turn it off please.

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I can't stand squealing speakers

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just forgot where I was totally broke my bro my flow

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through my grief.

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Yeah.

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Elko to be he mentioned that the gatherings of the cup are the places where the Helen and the haraam

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disgust

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where the stories

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of the righteous people are mentioned.

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Free from innovation

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and falsehood.

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These are the gatherings of the so according to curl to be the gatherings of Vicar or the gatherings where Allah subhanaw taala is remembered are indeed the gatherings of knowledge, or those gatherings where stories and durations are mentioned, that soften the hearts

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and cause the people to remember Allah subhanho wa Taala

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Of course, the gatherings of Vicar of the places where the book of Allah subhanaw taala

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is mentioned. And all of this connects with what we formerly mentioned, concerning

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the world and everything in it is cursed, except for the scholar and the student of knowledge and the remembrance of Allah subhanho wa Taala because in reality,

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seeking knowledge, being a student of knowledge is all in reality involving yourself in the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala but also a Muslim

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should try to remember Allah subhanaw taala in every aspect of their life.

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Liquor is something that we should be constantly preoccupied with.

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And we should not imagine that

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our gratitude to Allah subhanaw taala and remembering him is merely confined to our Salah.

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Know the Salah is there to refocus, and that's natural in human beings, is we tend to forget

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we do forget.

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And as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam mentioned, when Hans Allah,

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He came from listening to the hotbed of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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And he realized that when he was listening to the hotbar of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was talking about the paradise and the Hellfire and the Day of Judgment. You know, he was feeling as if it was there. But when he left and he went back to his family, he forgot all of that. So he was going around, saying, hanzel has become a monastic, we're saying this, I will boxes and aboubaker meats, and he says, Why are you saying that? And so he explained, you know, when we when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we are like this condition, and then we go back to our families, we are in a totally different way we forget

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everything. It's as if we forget. And aboubaker says, You know what, I have the same problem.

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He said, and let's go and ask the Prophet

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I just want to pause

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right there.

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Let's go and Ask the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam you know, for me, I don't know I find that just that statement really profound.

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And I want to interject something here and I hope I remember to get back to the end of the

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generation.

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We all have problems in lives brothers in our life, brothers and sisters. I mean, that's the reality life is a test. Under the follicle motor one higher time Talia blue, comm Ru, Kumasi.

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macholos is over for

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last month, Allah created the death in the life to make know which of you are best in conduct and he is the mighty and he is the forgiving. Life is a test. We are going to be tested.

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Indeed, Allah subhanaw taala says, Do you think that you will be left alone saying you believe without being tested, like those who came before you were tested? And even the prophets of those who are with them? said, When will the help of Allah come? When will the help of Allah come? They knew the help of Allah was going to come? They had no doubt. But the test was so severe, things were so difficult, they reset your stage.

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They they're desperate for the help of Allah subhanho wa Taala. When is it going to come?

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This help of Allah and Allah says the meaning of witches and then that he says, verily, the health of Allah is always near Subhana Allah. So yes, we will be tested, there will be hardship there will be difficulties.

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And that is the reality of life. We are going to face those tests and trials and tribulations but you know what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said. He said if you're faced with some tests with some trial with some difficulty, he said

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Remember my death?

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Remember my death?

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The death of personal loss alone.

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There is nothing worse that could ever happen to any of us, either individually or collectively in this ummah

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that is worse than the death of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

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And why am I saying that? I think about the statement of abubaker

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I feel the same thing. Let's go and Ask the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam

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there's no dispute. Once you go, and you talk to Rasulullah sallallahu I saw a lot while he was alive.

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There's no argument. There's no discussion.

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That's it.

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So marijuana wattana we hear and we obey the Rasulullah Rasul he said this. And that's it.

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End of argument, no more discussion.

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You're right, he's wrong. There you go.

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And look at this oma.

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If you look at everything and all our problems, Subhan Allah.

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That's the cause of the disaster of the death of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

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He has left us.

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And so all of these doors for disputation and argumentation and conflict and differences

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has

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opened.

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So you should think about that.

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You should remind yourself, that however bad it is, it's not as bad as the disaster of the death of Rasulullah sallallahu.

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So abubaker says, Let's go and Ask the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. So they go.

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And hunza explains how he feels.

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And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, Oh hands Allah.

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If you were to be in the state,

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when you go home,

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the same state when you go home, as you were when you were with me, if you were to be in that state all the time, the angels will come down and shake your hand in the streets.

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But there is a time for this. And there is a time for that.

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There is a time

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when you will listen

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to talks to lectures, you'll have your Eman increase, there is a time to spend with your family, there is a time to work there is a time to study.

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So your level of

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who assure your level of Eman

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is not going to be the same all the time.

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It's not going to be constant.

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When you're with your family, and when you're at work, it is not going to be like those moments

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later in the night.

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When you are praying to your Lord

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and there is just you

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and your prayers and your supplications and your

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remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala

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is not going to be like all the time when you are making reading the Quran. And tears are coming to your eyes.

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As the words of Allah subhanaw taala

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reaching to your heart.

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You can't be like that all the time. It's very hard.

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So it's normal for the human being in their life to fluctuate.

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And you have to accept that.

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That's just normal.

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So sometimes you will be feeling spiritually mentally elevated and other times you will feel low.

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You will feel comparatively down and that's normal. It happens to everybody.

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It happens to everybody.

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But

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depression

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I mean

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depression

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is considered to be a type of

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illness. When we talk about depression, when we talk about clinical depression, it is something that is identified as a type of,

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you know, mental illness.

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And it's not what we normally think of imagine is just low emaan. You know, I'm not feeling Mashallah me, my mind is not feeling so high. No, it's something a lot more serious than that.

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So some of the definitions and some of the descriptions of a person who is depressed, and I'm just going to talk about it a little bit.

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Number one, it's considered it's, it's described as an all encompassing low mood. all encompassing means it really that the low mood takes over your being,

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it really takes over everything, you just don't feel cheerful at all about anything.

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And it's also identified with low self esteem.

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low self esteem,

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has very interesting in psychological terms,

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that people

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who experience the most happiness in their life

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are people who are engaged in activities,

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people who are engaged in activities

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that are

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challenging.

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So they are neither too hot.

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Because if it's too hard,

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you feel you can accomplish that particular thing. No, are they too easy, because they're too easy, you get bored.

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So in reality, any task

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that is on the very edge of your ability

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that you're involved in.

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And that has some clearly defined criteria, it has to have a specified outcome.

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And it also has to be autotelic. Meaning that you get a type of satisfaction from that action itself, not because of any particular outcome, but there's something intrinsically satisfying about that action itself.

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And it's not too hard. And it's not too difficult. As I mentioned, it has a clearly defined outcome. And two important things.

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When you perform this action, it increases

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your feeling of self worth. Number one, in other words, you feel that you have improved yourself, as a human being,

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you've become a better human being, when you've done this action, you feel that number two, you feel that you have contributed to the well being of humanity in general,

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or at least to a group of human beings. So any action that has or fits those criterion

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is what they call optimal experience. It's called optimal experience. And psychologists have studied they've done extensive studies on this extensive, and by the way, cross cultural, cross cultural studies, across different cultures across different professions. It's a very wide study, and they found that universally, human beings, experienced the highest state of happiness, when they are involved in such experiences, where they get this what they call optimal experience, not as you might imagine, people you may imagine that people are most happy when they are relaxing, and watching movies, and you know, dancing and drinking and in reality, you know, you know, watching

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sports or, you know, watching Canada when the, you know, the hockey for the Olympics are approved, probably they're pretty happy, right? Unless you're an American, then you probably weren't very happy. But anyway. So the point being is that, you know, actually, you may imagine that those are the things that make people happy, but in fact they're not.

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People actually get pleasure out of struggling.

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They get pleasure out of struggling

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spamela

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they get pleasure out of it.

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This is an amazing thing.

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Of course, it's

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it shouldn't really be amazing to us.

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But it's just another

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One of those things how modern science is uncovering deep psychological truths that we as Muslims should already know.

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Because we, as Muslims already know that life is a struggle,

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is a jihad, a struggle.

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And most of the time, the struggle in life is an internal spiritual and mental struggle within ourselves. That is the ongoing struggle that we have to experience every single day. Of course, it is often manifest

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in different physical arenas.

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But most of the time, and consistently, it is something that is going on inside ourselves, it is the inner dimension, it's what's going on inside our head.

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Now, we've been taught that

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that's what Islam teaches us. However, brothers and sisters, we live in all of you live in a society

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that has not embraced this ideology teaches a very different ideology. It teaches an ideology of hedonism, consumerism,

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an ideology that one should simply enjoy one's life. And it's interesting, the things that they generally define is enjoyment, are the things that psychologically give us the least enjoyment.

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Now, the point about depression is,

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is that people who are depressed have low self esteem, which seems to suggest that they are not having optimal experiences. They're either

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finding whatever's happening in their life too easy and too boring.

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Or they're finding things to be too challenging.

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And so they don't have optimal experiences. Also,

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whatever they are participating, doesn't give them a feeling of self worth. They don't feel that they are improving themselves, and they don't feel that they are contributing to the well being of society. Now, I would say that,

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generally a Muslim

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who thinks fairly, you don't even have to think really deeply. But you know, think a little bit about what being a Muslim is all about.

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That they would understand that, for example, the simple act of solder, for example,

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or fasting, or giving sadaqa

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or x that number one, improve you personally, and contribute to the benefit and the well being of society.

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Now, that would be the case,

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if we understood

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the benefits of solar,

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the virtues of fasting, and giving sadaqa.

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However, if we perform these actions in a robotic perfunctory manner,

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so we come and we pray,

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we make the movements, we say the words, but we don't understand what are these words that we are saying,

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we are not attentive,

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in our prayer, our mind is somewhere else. Then in reality, you will not benefit from that.

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In fact, every Muslim when you stand up, and you make takbeer, you should be thinking and you should be making the first of all, you should pray as if this is your last prayer, every prayer, before you raise your hands and you make beer, you should be thinking, this could be my last prayer. And you want that prayer, to be as perfect as possible.

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Brothers and sisters, it is a truly beautiful thing.

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You must learn to live

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in the presence.

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You must learn to experience that moment of prayer for what it is, you should clear your mind

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of

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the problems from the past, or whatever you may think the problems or the future are and the only exception I will make to that is your sense.

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In respect to your sins, of course,

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you should be seeking the forgiveness of a loss of Hamilton.

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And we'll come back to that.

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The issue of forgiveness.

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There is a narration a saying of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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I think it's authentic. I'm not absolutely sure.

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I think it is an authentic narration

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where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said

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that if anyone performs two Raka

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two units of prayer

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and thinks of nothing, except Allah,

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then all their sins will be forgiven,

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all of their sins will be forgiven.

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Now,

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I just challenge you to try it.

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I challenge you to try and pray to record and don't allow any thought to enter your mind except

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thinking about Allah subhanaw taala.

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And I would suggest that it is probably actually easier for you to climb Mount Everest than to do that.

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Right? Because the discipline that you need, the mental discipline that you need, in order to do that is truly astounding. But I would like you from now on, to approach every single prayer that you do with this intention

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to try to think of nothing except Allah. And don't let the fact that you didn't succeed.

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put you off, just keep on trying, because that is the sort of attentiveness that we need to develop.

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That is the sort of concentration and focus

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that we should have. If your prayer is not with her sure, if your prayer is not performed with all and reverence and attentiveness before Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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It is really not going to benefit you a lot.

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It will benefit you of course, you're performing your obligation. But it's very interesting. The discussion that has Ali has in Halima Dean, about this, because he puts forward the proposition, that in reality, although from the point of view, from the point of view of

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Yes, you have made World War, you have made the movements, you have done your core, you have said Sir, I'm sort of getting mixed up 30 her first of course, you know, you have done your ako you have done all your rochen or your pillars of the prayer, you've done it all. So from the point of view, you fulfilled it.

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But what is the purpose of prayer?

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What is the spirit of it? What is the reason why Allah Subhana, Allah told us to pray. And it's mentioned, for example, that the prayer should keep you away from evil deeds by schirmacher, minutes, lewdness, sins, and evil deeds, and has a purpose. The Prayer is there for you to remember Allah subhanaw taala.

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So if you are forgetful of Allah, and you perform all the outward movements and functions, and you fulfill it from the point of view, but internally, spiritually,

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you're you have not remembered a lot at all, then Have you really fulfilled the purpose of the prayer?

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You haven't.

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But this is the thing. If our prayer is like that, what is the benefit going to be? How is it going to transform our life? How is it going to benefit us, similarly with our fasting similarly, with our zakka and our sadaqa?

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If we understand

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the benefits of prayer,

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and we do it attentively, we will see how it will increase our

00:29:34--> 00:30:00

self esteem. I don't mean this in an arrogant sense. No, it is not in the sense that you become arrogant and proud, absolutely not. But it is a sense of worthy accomplishment. That when you pray to Allah with Russia, and you remember Allah, even for one Raka one and a half Raka you have you know, you have achieved something really significant and it is significant.

00:30:08--> 00:30:13

The other sign of a person who is depressed is the loss of interest

00:30:22--> 00:30:27

and pleasure in normally enjoyable activities.

00:30:29--> 00:30:38

The loss of interest and pleasure and normally those things that people normally enjoy, and they just stop losing interest in them.

00:30:41--> 00:30:42

That's another sign of

00:30:44--> 00:30:45

depression

00:30:46--> 00:30:51

3.4% of people who are clinically depressed, committed suicide

00:30:53--> 00:31:01

3.4% commit, and 60% of suicides of people who have been diagnosed with clinical depression.

00:31:03--> 00:31:10

There's a strong correlation between suicide and clinical depression. And depression is twice as likely in women as in men.

00:31:12--> 00:31:14

Some interesting facts,

00:31:17--> 00:31:25

a depressed person, what is what is going on? It seems that they ruminate over thoughts and feelings of worthlessness.

00:31:26--> 00:31:29

So they spend a lot of time thinking they are worthless.

00:31:32--> 00:31:34

Now, that is never

00:31:35--> 00:31:46

a mental state in which a Muslim should be or I think we have to qualify that there is a feeling of worthlessness

00:31:47--> 00:31:52

that is worthy. And there is a feeling of worthlessness that is not

00:31:57--> 00:32:21

the feeling of worthlessness that is worthy of meaning. It's it's a good feeling is the feeling that however much I praise Allah, however much I worship Allah, I cannot praise Him and worship Him as He deserves to be worshipped. You always feel that you are falling short of what is deserving and is due to Allah subhanaw taala

00:32:22--> 00:32:24

no one should feel

00:32:26--> 00:32:28

that they are some magnificent worshiper

00:32:32--> 00:32:33

and that somehow

00:32:35--> 00:32:40

you have reached some exalted station through your a bada.

00:32:43--> 00:32:45

This is a very dangerous and arrogant

00:32:46--> 00:32:47

place to be.

00:32:49--> 00:33:39

And in reality, if that's what you think, then it's defeated in a sense the a whole part of the purpose of E BARDA. The purpose of the body is for you to know Allah. It's for you to know how completely and utterly and totally, you depend upon Allah. And that's why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, that do Allah is the essence of the body, do are is the essence of worship, because into our in supplicating. In calling in begging and pleading with Allah subhanaw taala it is the essence of you, showing that you need and depend on and rely on Allah subhanaw taala totally. And that is why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us to ask Allah for any need any need

00:33:39--> 00:33:47

that you have, even if you need a shoe, lace of your shoe or a strap of your sandal, even that

00:33:48--> 00:34:03

you should ask Allah subhanaw taala because that is how totally and completely and utterly you depend upon Allah subhanaw taala so the more a person realizes this fact, the more a person knows Allah subhanaw taala

00:34:05--> 00:34:19

so the essence of a bada is this understanding how completely we depend upon Allah subhanaw taala and we can never praise Allah as he deserves to be praised. Never. It's impossible.

00:34:23--> 00:34:30

Indeed, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, none of you will enter Paradise because of your deeds.

00:34:33--> 00:34:43

They said not even you Rasulullah he said, not even me, unless Allah bestows His mercy

00:34:45--> 00:34:45

upon you.

00:34:47--> 00:34:54

You will never enter Paradise because of your deeds, it is not your deeds that will enter you to paradise

00:34:55--> 00:35:00

because you can never do an amount of leads or amount of

00:35:00--> 00:35:05

worship. In fact, if you really think about it, how could you ever thank Allah enough for your eyes,

00:35:06--> 00:35:12

or for your ears, or for really the smallest of Allah's favors to you?

00:35:15--> 00:35:25

You didn't think a lot not just for one of those things, let alone that you could do actions that deserve you to enter into gender. So it's from Allah's mercy that he puts people in jail.

00:35:27--> 00:35:36

And in fact, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he told us adido curry, but he means be steadfast and constant in your worship.

00:35:37--> 00:35:46

And don't be an extremist. Don't go to extremes, because the extremist is destroyed. Don't go to extremes and you are a bother.

00:35:47--> 00:36:09

Even in your ibadah Don't be an extremist. And the Prophet himself sallallahu alayhi wa sallam hated to see people being extremists in ibadah. There was a woman, for example, who used to She hung a rope in the masjid. And she used to hang on to it because she wanted to stand in prayer. And the Prophet ordered it to be cut down.

00:36:11--> 00:36:13

We will not ordered with this the prophet SAW awesome said.

00:36:14--> 00:36:17

This is an extreme pray where you can manage.

00:36:18--> 00:36:21

When three young men they came in, they asked.

00:36:22--> 00:36:27

They came in they asked the family of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam about his ibadah.

00:36:28--> 00:36:38

They said, Well, he's the Messenger of Allah, and Allah has forgiven his past and future sins. Who are we? So one of them said, I will fast every day.

00:36:39--> 00:36:41

Another one said, I will never marry.

00:36:43--> 00:36:44

And the other one said,

00:36:47--> 00:36:48

What did the other one thing

00:36:51--> 00:36:55

I will pray is, oh, pray all night and never sleep.

00:36:56--> 00:37:14

I will pray all night and never sleep. So when the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, he heard about this, he was really upset. And he called the people he called everybody. He said who is full and who is the one who says such and such and this and that. He said, verily by Allah.

00:37:15--> 00:37:34

I for some days, and I don't forget some days, and I pray in the night and I sleep in the night, and I marry the women. So whoever does not follow my son, and he sorry, he said, I feel Allah, the Most of all of you. I have the most taqwa of all of you.

00:37:37--> 00:37:56

So whoever does not follow my son has got nothing to do with me. You can't do better as a Muslim, than follow the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the best you can ever do, is to follow Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam because you can't do better than him. sallallahu alayhi wasallam

00:37:58--> 00:38:05

so the Prophet wonders, this extremists are destroyed. Don't be extreme in your ibadah be

00:38:07--> 00:38:08

constant

00:38:10--> 00:38:11

and persevere.

00:38:12--> 00:38:18

You're not going to enter Paradise because of your deeds and the deeds that you do regularly.

00:38:20--> 00:38:31

Even if they are little, these are the ones that Allah loves. Allah loves the deeds that are regular, even if they are small. These are the best deeds, regular constant deeds.

00:38:32--> 00:38:39

This is the advice the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam beautiful advice. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave

00:38:40--> 00:38:41

concerning he bought.

00:38:44--> 00:38:58

So that is the feeling of worthlessness but the feeling of worthlessness brothers and sisters, that you may feel that I am no good, I am rubbish. I am Subhan Allah, you are Abdullah.

00:39:00--> 00:39:11

You are the slave of Allah. Allah has chosen you from amongst the billions of human beings. Allah chose you and blessed you with Islam.

00:39:12--> 00:39:24

He chose you and blessed you in Islam. I don't think why did Allah choose me? What? What did I do to deserve to be a Muslim? I have no idea.

00:39:25--> 00:39:31

In fact, I can't even think of anything I could do in my life, to deserve to be a Muslim God Alhamdulillah

00:39:32--> 00:39:36

the worst of you is better than the best cafe.

00:39:39--> 00:39:41

The worst of the Muslim

00:39:42--> 00:39:44

in the sight of Allah.

00:39:46--> 00:40:00

The worst of his servants, the people who have chosen to submit and surrender to Him is better than the best of the rebels. Because that's what the people who turn away from Allah. They're the

00:40:00--> 00:40:01

rebellious ones.

00:40:03--> 00:40:04

So the worst of the

00:40:06--> 00:40:08

the servants of Allah better than the best of the rebels

00:40:15--> 00:40:17

on the Day of Judgment brothers and sisters

00:40:20--> 00:40:31

and then we'll ask how many? How many of my does how many of my children have for the fire 999 out of every 1000 of for the fire.

00:40:32--> 00:40:33

But Allah chose you

00:40:35--> 00:40:39

only chose you brothers and sisters, how could you feel worthless?

00:40:40--> 00:40:47

How could you feel worthless, when you are a member of the Ummah of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

00:40:48--> 00:40:53

you belong to the nation, of the best of all the creation

00:40:55--> 00:40:57

rasulillah Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:40:59--> 00:41:03

the best of the creation? That's not an exaggeration to say that

00:41:04--> 00:41:06

he is the best of the creation.

00:41:08--> 00:41:11

You are a member of his nation.

00:41:14--> 00:41:19

How could you feel worthless? My dear brothers, how could you feel worthless, my dear sisters,

00:41:23--> 00:41:25

you are the servant of Allah.

00:41:26--> 00:41:27

You're not the servants.

00:41:31--> 00:41:34

You're not the servant of Allah. Or Buddha,

00:41:35--> 00:41:36

or

00:41:40--> 00:41:54

Krishna or Ganesh or whoever or whatever you are not or you should not be the servant of fashion, or money or fame or beauty, or power or position.

00:41:57--> 00:42:04

You are the servant You are the slave of Allah. Everyone is a slave by the way to something, everyone's a slave to someone else. You're the slave of Allah.

00:42:06--> 00:42:43

The King of the kings Subhan Allah, the king of the kings, the Lord of all the creation, the one who controls every atom of the universe, you know, when someone becomes Muslim? You know, when I take Shahada from people, you know, one of the things I say, because there's Oh, my parents they're gonna say this and you know such and such an elusive you have of course you have worries. I say listen, you're not becoming the servant of one who is powerless. You are becoming the servant of Allah, the One who controls every atom of the universe.

00:42:45--> 00:42:51

And you have chosen to be the one who is obedient to Him and to follow his Deen

00:42:53--> 00:43:06

you are noble in the sight of Allah, because you have chosen to worship Him alone and to avoid the false gods. So how would you feel worthless? How would you feel worthless my brothers and sisters

00:43:07--> 00:43:09

when you belong to this precious Alma

00:43:16--> 00:43:17

also, we find that

00:43:19--> 00:43:24

the press people feel inappropriate guilt and regret.

00:43:25--> 00:43:27

You know, regret brothers and sisters is good.

00:43:29--> 00:43:33

And guilt is good. If you have done something wrong.

00:43:35--> 00:43:45

In fact, it's a condition of repentance. That you feel remorse and you feel regrets and you feel guilty about it.

00:43:47--> 00:43:53

That's a condition. But you have to know that Allah subhanaw taala.

00:43:54--> 00:44:31

He He is over four. He is a co op. He is the Forgiving he is the one Subhanallah How much does Allah love repentance but how much does he love it? How much does he love it my brothers and sisters? You know how much Allah loves it. Subhana Allah, imagine this, I want you to imagine you're in the deserts. It's hot. The sun is beating down on you. You're sweating. you've traveled and you're in the middle of the desert. dunes and dunes and piles of June's

00:44:33--> 00:44:38

and you're so hot. You're so tired. You fall down and you sleep

00:44:39--> 00:44:44

and your camel, which is all your water or your provisions.

00:44:46--> 00:44:57

It goes you wake up and your camel has gone. You know you're gonna die and you're gonna die a really horrible death.

00:45:02--> 00:45:07

And resigned to the inevitable inevitability of it, you fall asleep.

00:45:08--> 00:45:11

And then you wake up. And your camel is right there.

00:45:13--> 00:45:16

And you jump up. And you say, Oh Allah,

00:45:18--> 00:45:27

I am your Lord and you are my servants. And you just say that because you're so excited. You just get confused and you mix everything up.

00:45:30--> 00:45:41

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, But Allah is more pleased with the repentance of one of you than this man is with finding his capital.

00:45:46--> 00:46:06

It almost makes you want to sin so you can do some tober. Right? Of course, I'm not suggesting that. Because as Omar bin Al Khattab said, it's easier to stop sinning, it's easier to actually avoid sin than make a really sincere Toma for your sins. It's actually easier.

00:46:07--> 00:46:10

Yeah, it's actually a lot easier just not to sin.

00:46:13--> 00:46:16

But the point being is that this is how Allah loves forgiveness.

00:46:18--> 00:46:20

And Allah said, in a hadith could see

00:46:23--> 00:46:50

that when one of us when one of us Subhanallah, if we come to Allah, with sins, as great as the heavens on earth, and we turn to Allah, and we ask his forgiveness, not making any shift with him not making any partners and rivals, and not only will Allah forgive us, but Allah will give us good deeds nearly as great as the evil that we have done to replace it.

00:46:53--> 00:46:54

And a servant commits a sin.

00:46:56--> 00:46:59

And he says, Oh Allah, I have sinned, forgive me.

00:47:00--> 00:47:03

And Allah says, I have a servant.

00:47:04--> 00:47:06

I have a servant.

00:47:07--> 00:47:08

Who knows.

00:47:10--> 00:47:23

But they have sinned, and they know that they have a lord who punishes sins, and who forgives when they asked for forgiveness, and I have forgiven him. And again, the servant says, I have sinned.

00:47:25--> 00:47:41

And again, Allah says the same thing and again, the servant, Allah says, and the servant says, I have sinned, Allah says, Do what you like, as long as you meaning as long as you keep seeking forgiveness from me, you keep turning to me, you keep asking me, Allah will keep forgiving you.

00:47:43--> 00:47:44

As long as you are sincere.

00:47:46--> 00:48:03

Allah will keep forgiving you brothers and sisters. It's not an encouragement to sin. Because I want to, I want you to understand something important. The reason why Allah told us not to do something, is because that's bad for you.

00:48:04--> 00:48:06

It's gonna make your life more difficult.

00:48:07--> 00:48:08

Right?

00:48:10--> 00:48:11

That's the reality.

00:48:12--> 00:48:15

Right? You know, Allah has made it harder

00:48:16--> 00:48:29

for men to stare women, and for women to stare at men, lower yoga, lower case, lower your gaze and God God your private parts. Why? Because if you stare at women, brothers, right, it's not good for you.

00:48:31--> 00:48:44

It's not good for you. There's lots of ways we could talk about how bad it is for you. Allah didn't say, don't look and stare at women. Because Allah doesn't want you to enjoy all the beautiful forms of women and this and that, right? No.

00:48:45--> 00:48:52

He's telling you don't do it. Because it's not good for you. How is it good for you? Even if you're married? What's the benefit of that?

00:48:54--> 00:48:54

Why

00:48:56--> 00:49:03

it is only going to create a type of false desire in your heart. It is only going to make you this content.

00:49:05--> 00:49:10

It's going to create this content for you. Right. And there is another issue

00:49:11--> 00:49:14

looking at lewd pictures, well, let's just say pornography.

00:49:16--> 00:49:29

If you look at that type of stuff, what is that? What is what image What? What does that make you think about women in general? How would you treat and think about women in general?

00:49:31--> 00:49:45

It's not a good thing. It has negative consequences. So unless telling us not to do these things for our wisdom, right? So don't think that oh, I can just send an ask Allah for forgiveness. No, because sin has an evil effect.

00:49:47--> 00:49:49

Sin is going to have an evil effect.

00:49:50--> 00:49:59

It's gonna destroy you, or corrupt you or damage you psychologically or physically. You can repent from drinking alcohol.

00:50:00--> 00:50:17

But you're still going to have cirrhosis of the liver cirrhosis of the liver? Is that how you say cirrhosis? Right? If you drink too much, you're still going to have that. And you may Yeah, Allah will forgive you the sin, but the consequences of it, you're still going to face it in your life, right?

00:50:23--> 00:50:25

So this is the thing, you have to understand that.

00:50:31--> 00:50:37

And then you find we told that depressed people feel helpless and hopeless.

00:50:39--> 00:50:42

They feel helpless, and they feel hopeless.

00:50:47--> 00:50:53

In fact, it's interesting that I read that depression is similar to the helplessness in laboratory animals,

00:50:54--> 00:51:03

who remain in unpleasant situations from which they are unable to escape. They have sort of, you know, strange behavioral patterns.

00:51:05--> 00:51:14

So this feeling of I have no control. I am helpless. I'm hopeless, there is no hope. How can honestly, how can a Muslim not have hope?

00:51:16--> 00:51:17

How can you not have hope?

00:51:19--> 00:51:20

You must always hope.

00:51:21--> 00:51:24

Hope is free. You don't have to pay for hope.

00:51:25--> 00:51:32

You if you know Allah subhanaw taala Island, you will always hope in Allah subhanaw taala?

00:51:33--> 00:51:36

And how would you feel helpless, as I said, You're the servant of Allah.

00:51:37--> 00:51:42

You're the servant of Allah. You're the slave of the Lord of all of the universe.

00:51:45--> 00:51:54

The one who has power over everything, you're not helpless? Well, I mean, we are helpless. Every human being is helpless. But we are the least helpless in reality,

00:51:56--> 00:51:58

because the one who is supporting us

00:51:59--> 00:52:00

is more powerful.

00:52:02--> 00:52:32

has power over everything. power over whatever the United States of America has what actually It all belongs to Allah, and he has control over all of it. So you have to understand that what is whatever is happening, whatever is going on, it's there for a reason. And this is important. A Muslim has to trust in Allah. And Muslim has to trust that whatever is happening in their life, it's there for a good reason. However confusing it may be, but that's easy to accept that Allah knows what you don't know.

00:52:33--> 00:52:35

Allah knows what's best for you.

00:52:36--> 00:52:47

It's not everything that you is it everything that is good for you, you like it? Or is it sometimes there's things that are good for you. But in fact, you don't like it? Right?

00:52:49--> 00:52:50

true or not?

00:52:51--> 00:53:00

There are things that are good for us. And often we don't like them. And there are things that are bad for us. And often we like them. So the fact that I like it or don't like it

00:53:02--> 00:53:25

doesn't mean that it's good for me or bad for me. And that comes from trusting Allah. No, you know, this is why every Muslim should have a good opinion of Allah. A good opinion of Allah means that I believe that what is happening to me in my life is for the best. But Allah will guide my life and guide me in my life for what is best.

00:53:26--> 00:53:28

Because that's my good opinion of Allah.

00:53:30--> 00:53:33

That's my good opinion of Allah. I have that good opinion.

00:53:35--> 00:53:37

Yeah, this is how the believer should be.

00:53:40--> 00:53:45

So you shouldn't feel helpless, and you shouldn't feel hopeless.

00:53:48--> 00:54:02

So brothers and sisters, I think that's really an interesting, you know, those are the main, you know, characteristics of somebody who is depressed. And and it's very interesting, by the way, I just thought this is a very interesting thing I noted this down.

00:54:05--> 00:54:12

Depression is less likely to occur, as well as quicker to remit amongst those who are religious.

00:54:14--> 00:54:23

So interesting, right? And why is that? Because they have the ability to correct their thinking pattern and improve their mood.

00:54:24--> 00:54:42

And that's what it's about brothers and sisters, right? It's our thinking patterns. Right? The way we think you do, and the such important things you need to understand is you have control of your consciousness.

00:54:43--> 00:54:44

You have control.

00:54:45--> 00:54:51

Or at least you have the tools to be in control of how you react to things.

00:54:53--> 00:54:56

Is it hands up who's married? Hands up who's married

00:54:59--> 00:54:59

Yeah.

00:55:01--> 00:55:07

Brothers married brothers. Okay, I'm gonna ask my brother right? Does your wife naggy sometimes?

00:55:09--> 00:55:23

Yeah, that was a good laugh over there, bro. Is your wife here today? Does she nag you sometimes? Not much? Okay, I'm not asking everyone to diss their wives right in public and turn off the video. Right?

00:55:28--> 00:55:36

Okay, but I won't ask for volunteers. Right? Okay. But you know what, I think we will experience that the wife, Max,

00:55:38--> 00:55:43

when you're going to do this, when you're going to do that, how are you going to do this data, data, data, data, data, data, data, data, data data?

00:55:46--> 00:55:51

Setting the truth myself, personally, I don't react? Well. I don't react to it very well.

00:55:53--> 00:56:11

I don't react to it well, at all. But um, you know, there's something a little simple thing that I just understood is that actually, I have control of my inner experience. I don't have to react to what my wife is saying, If I don't want to.

00:56:13--> 00:56:44

Because think about it, all that is really happening is there are sound waves going from your wife's mouth to your ears. Right? Now those sound waves could come from a speaker. They could come from earphones, they could come from anything, but they're just sound waves. You can treat them as sound waves. That's just sound waves come to my right. Okay. I don't have to react. I don't have to react.

00:56:45--> 00:56:47

In fact, you Sterling,

00:56:48--> 00:56:49

whatever you say.

00:56:51--> 00:56:52

You're the boss.

00:56:55--> 00:57:01

Yo, seriously, you don't have to react. And it's true of anything. Let me give you a real example. Right?

00:57:03--> 00:57:12

Of how consciousness, you have control of consciousness in your consciousness control. This is how it should be. And by the way, this is what Islam is teaching you

00:57:13--> 00:57:22

when you are fasting, right, as any doctor here will tell you, right, so if I get it wrong, you can correct me, right?

00:57:24--> 00:58:17

The feeling that we have called hunger, we have a feeling called hunger, right? is produced by chemicals in our body. When our body needs food. It sends out chemicals, right? And those chemicals create. And I don't know the exact details of it. But they create the feeling that we call hunger. It's your body's way of saying I need fuel. But you consciousness when you are fasting Ramadan overrides that biological impulse. Why? Because you have something more important that you want to achieve. You have chosen you have decided, you have directed your intention and your consciousness to another goal, which you consider more important. And that is the pleasure of Allah subhanaw

00:58:17--> 00:58:30

taala. So you now are controlling the impulses of your body, your mind is controlling your body. And you know people can do this to the extent that they can even starve themselves to death.

00:58:32--> 00:58:34

They can starve themselves to death.

00:58:36--> 00:58:42

You can develop self control, to the extent that you will not feel pain,

00:58:43--> 00:58:44

physical pain.

00:58:46--> 00:59:02

You can learn to control your reaction to things that much and I believe that that's part of what Islam is teaching us why do we learn to foster Ramadan? Well, life is a test we don't give in to every impulse and every

00:59:03--> 00:59:21

you know, feeling or urge that we have no in Islam is TDD teaching us to be in control, be in control of consciousness, you have control you when you foster Ramadan, it teaches you that to be in control, brothers and sisters. Okay. And that is very, very important thing.

00:59:23--> 00:59:38

Because depression is something really that's going on inside your head. It's about your patterns of thinking. It's about the way that you think there is no magic solution. You can't come in if a person is really depressed, you can't just turn a switch and like they feel better than next day.

00:59:39--> 01:00:00

Right doesn't work like that. I mean, clinical depression is something quite serious, but it is connected to thinking processes. And a lot of us just don't realize how much potential control we do have over what goes on inside our head. Okay, and I do believe that Islam teaches

01:00:00--> 01:00:03

So that we have, and we can have that control.

01:00:10--> 01:00:21

So anyway, brothers and sisters, I'm sure there are lots of reasons. And I've got some more loads here, but I think we can leave it. There are lots of reasons why people made. I've heard that lots of people in Montreal Muslims are depressed. And

01:00:23--> 01:00:26

so what I've heard, right, so, you know,

01:00:28--> 01:00:28

Sharla,

01:00:29--> 01:01:15

maybe we can talk about it, we can ask some questions, why we feel that, you know, why do you feel a lot of sense of maybe loss of loss of control? Why do we feel helpless? Why we don't feel? You know, I'm sure there's lots of reasons I'm sure. as Muslims, we know, we're under a lot of attack from the media. I mean, that's difficult to deal with. Right? Maybe we feel like we're strangers in a strange land, that's difficult to deal with. Right? Okay, our whole social fabric is upside down. And, you know, things like marriage, and, you know, family and so many issues, just are so difficult to deal with, especially, I guess, for the youth, it's so many conflicting things that you may be, you might

01:01:15--> 01:01:33

feel a sense of helplessness, but it would be good to discuss about it. Because what I found, generally, this is what I found, generally, when I do talk to brothers and sisters, and they, you know, they come to me with these feelings, and they talk about these things very often.

01:01:34--> 01:02:09

And I don't mean this to put anybody down, right? And if you do feel depressed, I mean, if you're clinically depressed, right? I mean, there are lots of people who fall into that state. And I don't want you to think that it's because you're a bad Muslim or something like that. It's not necessarily the case, these things can, in many different ways creep up on you in a way that you don't really, you know, sometimes we just don't think about it. And that's how it happens step by step. It's just one of the ways that shaytan gets us. And he usually gets us with little things. The little thing here, a little thing there. He doesn't come to us and say, oh, here's a bottle of poisoned drinking.

01:02:09--> 01:02:16

You know, it doesn't he's gonna put the poison in the honey. Yeah, he's gonna say here's a nice sweetie.

01:02:18--> 01:02:20

Right? Here's some chocolate.

01:02:21--> 01:02:27

Yeah, here's a snicker bar. Right? Just a joke with my brother's like Snickers. Okay, so

01:02:29--> 01:02:53

is that? Okay? So, you know, he's gonna put the, he's gonna hide the poison in something, right? It's gonna make it seem sweet and nice. Right? So this is you have to understand shaytan is trying lots of different ways to get us. Right. So sometimes we fall into these things, you know, but do not despair. Alhamdulillah Allah smart, Allah is always there for us.

01:02:55--> 01:03:21

And Alhamdulillah, we can always remedy the situation, change our way of thinking, be in control of how we react to things in Sharla. And I hope that's given us some clues. But anyway, that's it, I really just wanted to throw it up, throw it open up, throw it up and throw the floor open to you, brothers and sisters, to, you know, to discuss or to ask any questions about this very, very important topic, because

01:03:23--> 01:03:24

you don't really write that down.

01:03:37--> 01:03:40

All right, now we're gonna proceed to a question and answer session.

01:03:52--> 01:03:59

I picked this one specifically out it says I love you are hungry. And I love me too, actually.

01:04:02--> 01:04:03

So the question is,

01:04:06--> 01:04:12

what can someone do if their depression comes from not being able to get married? Because the quest for a mate is being very hard? It is very high.

01:04:14--> 01:04:15

I was

01:04:17--> 01:04:18

you know, there's this

01:04:19--> 01:04:34

famous Sufi in Persian law. Who's you know, he's I don't know his name. But you know, I I heard about him. I don't think exists is just the guy who made up but you know, he's like, a bit stupid.

01:04:35--> 01:04:43

But he says amazingly wise things, right. So, anyway, there's the story. I read about him recently.

01:04:44--> 01:04:48

And they were discussing about the perfect wife.

01:04:50--> 01:04:51

The search for the perfect wife.

01:04:54--> 01:04:58

And so they're asking, Well, you know, why, why aren't you married?

01:05:00--> 01:05:10

You know, didn't you find the perfect wife yet? He said, Yeah, I did find the perfect wife. He said, when I traveled to India, I found the perfect wife.

01:05:11--> 01:05:13

She was everything that I wanted.

01:05:14--> 01:05:20

They said, we'll share why didn't you marry her? said because she was looking for the perfect husband.

01:05:24--> 01:05:24

See,

01:05:27--> 01:05:39

you know, sometimes brothers and sisters, you know, we can make our own life hard for ourselves. You know, so the point being is that, you know, marriage is a big issue. And it's interesting that,

01:05:41--> 01:05:44

you know, when I, when I first started coming to Canada,

01:05:45--> 01:06:01

and I really found this problem was exasperated here, right, I, I noticed that the whole level of fitna is very different. I mean, UK is bad, but here it is really, really bad.

01:06:03--> 01:06:31

And, you know, it's, it's on a different level. And, you know, I, I realized that, you know, however, many years ago, that must have been, like, 1718 years ago, when I came here, it was just like, someone needs to do something for the youth. Because, you know, a lot of these parents have no idea what their kids are experiencing, and the difficulties that they, you know, they're putting up with.

01:06:33--> 01:07:05

So I propose some solutions. And I suggested some things back then, which, you know, very controversial, right. You know, amongst the things I suggested is that, number one, it's not really controversial. It's really based upon what the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam said, you know, and I've been pushing for this is that we should get our kids, you know, our youth married young. Right? I mean, as, as young as, legally, you can, you should get them married.

01:07:07--> 01:07:41

Okay. And I know, there are problems and issues around, you know, a husband providing for his wife and a dwelling and a house, and I realized that, but the issue here is the choice of evils. if, if, if, if we don't get the youth married, when they're young, we everyone in this room knows, right? Everyone in this room knows, what is the consequence of that. And the most probable, it's not, you know, it might happen. In a lot of cases, it's going to happen, you know.

01:07:42--> 01:08:28

And so, I suggested, and I really, honestly base this upon, you know, before I was a Muslim, I remember that. I used to go to my girlfriend's house, right, and stay with her in her room, and her parents wouldn't bat an eyelid. And she would come and stay with me, in my parents house. I think my mother batted her eyelids once or twice and then stopped messing her eyelids, but you know, I mean, that was absolutely fine. And, you know, that was a serious long term relationship. And we wasn't married marriage, but, you know, I thought, well, if the non Muslims can accept that for something Haram. Yeah, by the way, even by their own some of them, that's how we can do something like that.

01:08:29--> 01:08:30

For something that is Hello.

01:08:32--> 01:09:14

So if I have, you know, why don't I get my son and my daughter married? Okay, he doesn't have his own house, yet. Okay, maybe either of them can't really afford to live. But, you know, his wife can come and stay sometimes and he can go and stay with them sometimes, until they can sort themselves out what's wrong with that? At least hamdulillah they're married and we're protecting them from evil and this and that, Mashallah, I'm really amazed to see that some brothers and sisters handler doing this now. Mashallah. setting a good example, in my opinion, that's very, very good thing. May Allah bless them. Right. But I do remember, in Calgary,

01:09:15--> 01:09:25

I had a running with the one that you know, I think he was originally Algeria and Morocco and he was Arab. Anyway, let me think.

01:09:29--> 01:09:31

Usually, I'm laying the SmackDown on Pakistan. So

01:09:33--> 01:09:39

the Arabs turn today, okay. Oh, but no, I mean, the brother, Mashallah. And, you know,

01:09:41--> 01:09:52

I was sitting there with his family, and I bought this issue with him and you should have seen the guy sort of light his muscles. You will never get married and you have a house and you have a job and you have this and that and, you know,

01:09:53--> 01:09:59

his son is sitting there, right? I'm sure this guy has. I mean, I think as far as I know, his son had a girlfriend

01:10:00--> 01:10:07

Right, handle a may tober, and whatever, right? I wasn't gonna, like expose that in front of his dad and whatever. But you know,

01:10:08--> 01:10:19

it's like you're getting all hyped up and no, you have to this is the way I was brought up, you have to have and it's just totally unacceptable yet your son, right, is falling into this evil.

01:10:21--> 01:10:44

Now but I mean, there was no changing that primitive what is what I call it primitive attitude, right? I mean, it's primitive in the sense that you're imposing a cultural ideology in a place that has no place. Right? You have to understand the difference between what your culture teaches, right, and what is permitted in Islam.

01:10:45--> 01:11:09

Right. And this is, of course, another this is enough to get us all depressed, right, is how Muslims so much are enforcing, you know, their culture upon their children, and so on and so forth. Anyway, you know, it's a big topic, but I do hope that, you know, we will find solutions for that, and maybe just talking about it is one of them. But sometimes brothers and sisters, you know,

01:11:11--> 01:11:31

you know, the topic of marriage is a huge topic, I do think it's important that brothers should marry someone they find attractive. And I also believe it's important that sisters should marry someone they find attractive, right? And that's especially important in a very highly sexualized society. But

01:11:32--> 01:11:40

don't be unrealistic. Right? Don't be unrealistic. You know, you're not gonna find

01:11:42--> 01:11:43

God, I can't even think of

01:11:48--> 01:11:49

the course you're gonna find a whole line.

01:11:51--> 01:11:52

I'm trying to think of some

01:11:56--> 01:11:59

Fox, what's the name some Foxy Foxy Fox?

01:12:01--> 01:12:03

Megan Fox, you know?

01:12:05--> 01:12:09

You, you're probably not going to find megan fox in hijab.

01:12:10--> 01:12:15

You might, you know, but then is she going to want to marry you? I mean, why?

01:12:17--> 01:13:00

I mean, the point being, you know, we've had this long standing problem, right, Brother, what sort of system? Do you like? My unlikely to look? This is way back. Right? Not, not now. I'd like it to look like Sharon Stone. That was when you know, Sharon Stone was a bit younger. Right? Okay. It's like, come on, bro. I mean, you know, there aren't that many Shaolin stone hijabi Muslim types, you know? So I mean, you know, if you create these type of unrealistic expectations, right, you creating difficulties for yourself. And by the way, that goes back to why you need to lower your gaze, and you shouldn't be looking at stuff like that, because that's exactly what you do. Right? You create

01:13:00--> 01:13:22

those ridiculous, unrealistic expectations, right? And those women are all airbrushed Anyway, you think they really look like that in real life? Right? I mean, if you probably saw Megan Fox, when she wakes up in the morning, you probably run, you know, like, before she has the makeup and the discipline that in the whatever, right? I mean, guys, you know, come on,

01:13:23--> 01:13:33

you know, just get real, you know. So I think those are the sort of things we we sometimes create problems for ourselves. And I think we need to watch out for that.

01:13:45--> 01:13:47

Have a lot of questions.

01:13:48--> 01:13:50

I'm going to try to take the ones that are most relevant to the topic.

01:13:51--> 01:14:03

What would you say to someone who says I don't want to get my hopes up in a lot? Because every time I have in the past, I've only been let down? So I rather not have to have hope just just to be let down and fall into depression.

01:14:10--> 01:14:13

You know, my I found that Allah never lets you down.

01:14:14--> 01:14:27

Never. But I mean, from the point of view, is that what Allah says he's going to do, if Allah says he will do something, he will do it. And he doesn't keep his promises. You see, Allah said, He's going to test you.

01:14:28--> 01:14:31

That's what Allah said. He's gonna test you.

01:14:32--> 01:14:39

He didn't say, Don't worry, become Muslim. Everything's easy. Now. Whatever you want, you get it when you want it. Allah never said that.

01:14:41--> 01:14:50

In fact, Allah said the opposite. So if your hopes in Allah have based upon ignorance of Allah, then I don't know what to say. I mean,

01:14:51--> 01:14:53

you know, it's a false hope.

01:14:55--> 01:14:59

If you create for yourself, a hope in a lot, that is a false one, right?

01:15:01--> 01:15:04

Then that's not Alice's fault. That's your fault.

01:15:05--> 01:15:19

You need to study the book of Allah. You need to study Allah's book. And then you know what you should have hope in what expectations should you have? Right? I will give you a story that one chef he told me I remember he told the story, right?

01:15:21--> 01:15:30

It's a joke. It's but it's got a point to it. Right? He said that there was this flood in this town. And in the town, there was a man a Muslim.

01:15:32--> 01:15:36

Mashallah worshiper. And so, the flood came.

01:15:37--> 01:16:17

And some guy comes around, you know, hooting his horn. He stops by says, Come get in the car, we're going to take you to a safe spot. He says, No, no, no, I'm going to talk a lot. I'm going to stay here right in my house. Allah will look off to me. Who else is okay? Right? You know, anyway, the fun gets higher, right? And now the water has reached, you know, second floor and some people come along in a boat and they say, yo, come in, bought the boat. Just get inside the floods are getting higher. He does not I'm going to talk and Allah, Allah is going to look after me. You know? I'll be okay. Don't worry, right. So anyway, the flood gets even higher. Now this guy crime comes on his

01:16:17--> 01:16:20

roof, right? And a helicopter comes.

01:16:21--> 01:16:53

climb up the ladder. The helicopter says it's normal. Okay, I was gonna look off to me, I'm gonna talk it in a law, right? So the helicopter flies off. And anyway, the flood comes in the guide rounds. Right? So he meets along the Day of Judgment. And he's complaining online, you know, I trust him and you, I worship you. I'm your obedient slave, I trusted in you. Why didn't you rescue me? And I said, well, Allah says to him, I sent you a car. You didn't take the car. I sent you a boat you didn't take I even sent you agriculture. You didn't take the helicopter. Why are you complaining?

01:16:54--> 01:16:55

Right?

01:16:56--> 01:17:12

You create a false hope in a law that's based upon something that's nonsense. Right? That's false to welcome. That's false trusting on the law. That's a false hope in Allah. Right? So if you if that's your token, you're gonna get disappointed.

01:17:13--> 01:17:26

That's not our fault. It's your fault. Because you created for yourself an unrealistic and false expectation. He expected something from Allah He never promised you. Okay?

01:17:32--> 01:17:38

If a Muslim commits suicide because of a severe clinical depression, after professional medical treatment,

01:17:39--> 01:17:42

he or she goes to the Hellfire, or is there a chance?

01:17:44--> 01:17:47

If if the person is as we said,

01:17:48--> 01:18:00

if the person is mad, then the pen is lifted from the person who is mad. If the person is actually insane, right? Then the pen is lifted from the insane person. That's all I can say.

01:18:01--> 01:18:10

What do you think about the use of medication to treat depression for long term use years? I don't really know much about it. But the stuff I've read is that, for example,

01:18:14--> 01:18:18

a lot of these antidepressants, like for example,

01:18:25--> 01:18:28

the most prescribed drug in the history of prescribed drugs,

01:18:29--> 01:18:34

Prozac, actually is no more beneficial than a placebo.

01:18:37--> 01:19:27

after all of these years, it's based upon a theory that clinical depression is a byproduct of chemical imbalances in your body, and that taking these drugs restore those chemical balances, but it seems to be that's a sort of increasingly discredited theory. However, you know, I have I am not a medic, I have no medical expertise, whatsoever. I am just a person will tell you the truth. My wife is, I don't know she's, she never studied medicine, but she knows an incredible amount about medicine and just somehow, like martial law, so she's very awkward these type of things and, you know, so, a lot of Adam, it seems that those things may not really be that effective.

01:19:28--> 01:19:33

So Allahu Allah might, what can I say? That's all that I've read. And that's what I studied about it.

01:19:35--> 01:19:43

But again, one should seek medical advice from a qualified doctor. If you have depression, there is absolutely no.

01:19:45--> 01:19:46

You know, there should be no stigma.

01:19:48--> 01:19:59

In that tool, you should seek help from whatever angle you can take that help that is halon and going to a doctor is definitely halaal. Okay, so go to a doctor. Take his advice.

01:20:00--> 01:20:34

Generally what the doctor advises you, you can take that advice. If you feel uncomfortable, you can always ask a chef about the specifics. He's giving me these or she's giving me these pills to take, which have this effect. Is that okay for me, you know, so if you feel uncomfortable about something, then you should go and ask someone specifically about those things whether that's okay. But definitely brothers and sisters, if you do feel depressed, don't hesitate to get help from a doctor or from wherever you feel you can benefit in Sharla

01:20:39--> 01:20:47

How do you help someone who has watched pornography and feels so much guilt that it is hard for them to pray? When they feel their life is like a light

01:20:49--> 01:20:50

okay.

01:20:55--> 01:20:56

You know, this

01:20:57--> 01:20:57

is

01:20:59--> 01:21:03

okay. A man came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

01:21:05--> 01:21:09

He said, O Messenger of Allah. I kissed a woman

01:21:11--> 01:21:13

on the outskirts of Medina

01:21:15--> 01:21:20

is an authentic hadith. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Did you pray?

01:21:22--> 01:21:40

Did you pray? He said, Yes. He said, what you did expiated for came before? He said, O Messenger of Allah. Is that just for me? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, No, that is for everybody.

01:21:42--> 01:21:46

The prayer expatiates since he kissed a woman,

01:21:47--> 01:21:48

right.

01:21:49--> 01:22:16

Now, I don't want to get into the topic of major and minor sins, because that's a little bit controversial in and of itself. Is there such thing as that some even scholars, they said there's no such thing as a minus sin. Right? I mean, it's not minor to disobey Allah. Right? However, it is definitely true that sins are of different grades, right?

01:22:18--> 01:22:40

sins are of different levels, and are of different grades. So murder, and rape, and stealing, right are not like other sins, there are some other sins that are in comparison. Minor, we don't think of disobeying a lot ever as a minor thing, but they're only minor in compared to other sins. Right.

01:22:42--> 01:22:48

Some things are prohibited, because of what they lead to. That is why

01:22:49--> 01:23:04

the amongst some of the fuqaha they have a principle in fact, that what leads to Haram is also heroin. The thing that leads you to do her own thing is also hold on. Yeah.

01:23:06--> 01:23:06

And

01:23:08--> 01:23:34

a lot of the basis of that, is that some of the things that Islam has prohibited, for example, for a man to sit alone in a room with a woman without there being a third person or for a woman to sit alone in a room with a man, right? The reason is, because of the potential that has to lead to fornication.

01:23:35--> 01:24:02

Right? Similarly, a man touching a woman, is this a major sin? No, it is not a major sin. Even the man who kissed the woman on the outskirts of Medina, from what we what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, the prayer, the two prayers expiate for the minus sins, not for the major sins. So even this is therefore a minus in Why is it a sin?

01:24:07--> 01:24:51

It's, it's a sin. And it's a minus in because it's prohibited because of what it has the you know, if you're gonna kiss a woman, or a woman's going to kiss a man, you know, it's very, very, very easy to fall into something that is really serious IE fornication, right? It is the same with pornography. Right? pornography actually has many detrimental effects, right? It has many detrimental effects, creating false desires, generating, you know, a really have a negative, you know, perception of women. Okay. Another dangerous thing about it is it's highly addictive. It's more addictive than heroin.

01:24:52--> 01:24:56

pornography is more addictive than heroin, right?

01:24:57--> 01:25:00

Because what it does is present

01:25:00--> 01:25:15

into an almost endless stream of maybe not necessarily beautiful, but an endless stream of variable women, at least from the men's perspective, right. And there is no emotional attachment.

01:25:17--> 01:25:25

And the image that you see on the screen or wherever it is, is almost as powerful as seeing the real thing.

01:25:26--> 01:25:40

You're somehow your brain doesn't necessarily distinguish that much, but what you have is an image or you have something that seems to be like the real thing, but there is no emotional attachment. So, you know,

01:25:41--> 01:26:25

the pornography doesn't nag you, right? doesn't give you a hard time because you didn't come home late, you know, you came home late at night. And because you know what, that's a very dangerous thing. Right? It creates this, you know, it has many negative effects, right? So in no way shape, or form, would I encourage a person to, you know, to do that, and it's, it's, it's something that is really negative, right. But on the other hand, the point being is that a person should never reach to that stage that they're thinking, you know, I'm, you know, you know, that they reached despair. And they just think that Allah can't forgive them. And that, you know, my prayer is, you know,

01:26:25--> 01:27:11

whatever, or this and that, and, of course, you should try and keep away from sins, and you should do whatever is necessary to help you, especially, I encourage that person to get married. But you know, you shouldn't ever despair of the mercy of Allah. And you should put it into perspective. It's not to make light of it. But you need to put it into perspective, and need to understand really white where this stands on the, on the level of sins, and really why and what is the reason why that has been prohibited is prohibited because of what it has the potential to lead to. Okay. So I think I would just advise, you know, someone who is on that type of situation, you know, where they're

01:27:11--> 01:27:17

really almost, it's leading them to depression, you know, to put it into perspective in Sharla.

01:27:20--> 01:27:59

Baraka lovely, okay, we have three, three questions on a similar topic. Basically, it's feeling sad and depressed when we feel that our Deen is threatened. And there's one that I want to read specifically, in practical life, when you become an active professional, you find yourself step by step doing things that you didn't imagine, that you do before. a practical example, being a Muslim working as a practicing doctor has to socialize with the team and staff with whom he is working, as he has to go with them for dance parties, you also have to take lunch or dinner at the end of a conference day where they serve wine. You'll not drink it, but you'll still have to sit with them

01:28:00--> 01:28:06

for lunch or dinner, especially if you were presenting in the context. So how do we deal with such such things?

01:28:09--> 01:28:12

Have to what means legally binding?

01:28:13--> 01:28:14

What does have to mean?

01:28:15--> 01:28:26

I have to in order to advance my career? I'm not sure what that means here. Right? So I'd have to question I have to, okay, there's lots of things that you may feel

01:28:27--> 01:28:29

you have to do and you don't.

01:28:30--> 01:28:34

And that's really what it comes down to? Do you really have to do it.

01:28:35--> 01:28:39

dance parties, you have to go to a dance party as a doctor.

01:28:42--> 01:28:46

I don't know what to learn callison ethics or something or you know, aerobics

01:28:47--> 01:28:50

lesson, that's a new one to me. All right.

01:28:51--> 01:29:34

I know in the UK, that if you want to, if you want to specialize, if you want to specialize in a field, it is really problematic. Because you can only specialize in a field, if you in a sense get adopted by a specialist, right. So if you want to become a brain surgeon, you need to become like a almost an understudy of a brain surgeon, right? And often, that means doing whatever it takes in order to get that guy to agree to accept you. Right. And so often, you know, those people are going to be the people who turn up to the parties and talk to the things and you know, do whatever. Right.

01:29:35--> 01:29:38

But the here the issue here is, you know,

01:29:39--> 01:29:49

what sort of compromises can you really make as a Muslim? Right? So I think what's important brothers and sisters is you need to draw a line, very clear lines for yourself.

01:29:50--> 01:29:52

You have to draw very clear lines for yourself.

01:29:54--> 01:30:00

And you shouldn't step beyond those lines. That's what it comes down to. And you don't you don't

01:30:00--> 01:30:04

Make up those lines, those lines come from the Sharia.

01:30:05--> 01:30:20

Right? There are you are in the Sharia allowed to make certain compromises in certain situations. But my brothers and sisters, I would not leave this up to your own personal decision. That is why it is very important. Okay?

01:30:21--> 01:31:11

To study, for example, mocassin of shediac, right? Because it will teach you the principles through which and by which you can make such decisions. But even more importantly, brothers and sisters, it's good to have a relationship with a scholar, right? Who can advise you and give you guidance as to, you know, what sort of compromises you can and can't make? Yeah. So I don't think that that you see, again, what you're, what you're falling into is this feeling of loss of control, that you're slipping away, that you're compromising more and more, but again, you have to draw lines or have lines drawn for you. And you have to stick with it? And you have to say, Well, this is something I

01:31:11--> 01:31:14

cannot do, and I will not do. Okay.

01:31:16--> 01:31:24

And I think you know, you know, dance parties Come on, you know, did you go to a conference, you give your speech? Do you really have to sit down?

01:31:25--> 01:32:01

with the people? I mean, the sitting down with people when they're drinking alcohol is, you know, it's an issue, you shouldn't do it. That is true. But there are some circumstances where, you know, from what, I have talked to some scholars about or a scholar, at least, you know, but I don't know if that's one of those circumstances, businesses, not one way you can make a compromise like that. But do you have to sit at the table? Do you have to sit there when they're drinking alcohol? You don't you've done your presentation. Right? What if you had a migraine?

01:32:03--> 01:32:17

I get migraines. So, you know, I think I've got a splitting headache. I'm sorry, I have to go. I just you know, whatever. You can't do that. I mean, okay, you don't want to lie. But you know, the point being is that you don't have to

01:32:18--> 01:32:19

do.

01:32:20--> 01:32:26

So, you know, a lot of the things you say people say, Oh, I have to do this, and I don't really think you do have to do it. So

01:32:34--> 01:32:39

how do you help someone in depression? What would be the best approach in order to help them?

01:32:54--> 01:32:56

If if,

01:32:58--> 01:32:59

you know,

01:33:00--> 01:33:24

if people if a person is clinically depressed, and the description of clinical depression is, as we mentioned, all encompassing low mood, low self esteem, esteem, loss of interest and pleasure in things that you usually find enjoyable. Right? And we're not we're talking about not a major depressive episode yet. No, we are, but we're not talking about. Okay.

01:33:25--> 01:33:52

Go through it again. Feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, well, I would think that you talk through the person, right, in a positive way. Right? You show them why things are not hopeless, right? Why they are worthy, you know, why they should feel good about themselves? You know, there's lots of things for you to feel good about yourself.

01:33:54--> 01:33:54

You know,

01:33:56--> 01:34:10

and so what I would try and do, I don't, you know, depression is not something that you can just, you know, click your fingers and snap out of it, that's not true. You shouldn't think that about a person, or just snap out of it.

01:34:11--> 01:34:21

You know, person didn't snap into it. So it's very hard for them to snap out of it. You know, depression is accumulation, right, of lots of circumstances, right.

01:34:26--> 01:34:59

So, you know, you have to sort of unraveled that web, right. So these negative feelings you want to try and, you know, counter it, I'm saying what you personally can do is by, you know, giving that person, a positive viewpoint. And that's what this that's what this they say is why religious people tend to recover more quickly, is because they have the ability to correct their thinking patterns and improve their mood. Yeah, so hamdulillah in

01:35:00--> 01:35:44

Islam we have lots of things, lots of things that we can use in terms of about Allah subhanaw taala, and about his stepfather and forgiveness and the mercy of Allah and all the things I've been talking about today. So I think just generally, the sort of stuff, the positive stuff that I've been talking about today, you could just talk that person through it, and give them lots of positive things and inshallah, you know, and make a do, as well, of course, and inshallah, hopefully, you can help them improve their condition. Also, like I said, that should never, you know, prevent a person going to a doctor and seeking medical help. So I'm not saying that you, you know, you can cure them, and don't

01:35:44--> 01:35:49

go to the doctor, no, but there's things you can do, and the person should go and seek help as well.

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Fortunately, due to lack of time, this is going to be the last question.

01:36:00--> 01:36:19

I have self molding problems, because I grew up with parents that constantly put me down, when my email is high, and perfectly fine, but when it goes down, it's a major problem in my life, I can't focus on school or even during that time, I can't change my bad habits or do anything, right, which brings me down completely, what can I do?

01:36:34--> 01:36:34

Okay,

01:36:37--> 01:36:41

you know, what I would really suggest to that person

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is to really focus and concentrate on

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your relationship with Allah,

01:36:52--> 01:36:55

your relationship with Allah.

01:36:57--> 01:36:59

Because, honestly, brothers and sisters,

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you know, once you experience and once you taste the reality of loving Allah,

01:37:14--> 01:37:16

and of loving those people who love Allah,

01:37:18--> 01:37:20

and loving the deeds, that will cause a lot to love you.

01:37:22--> 01:37:25

And when you taste the reality of

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the friendship of Allah.

01:37:32--> 01:37:36

Then, in reality, my brothers and sisters, you know,

01:37:38--> 01:37:52

one of the, what I would say to that person is, people always let you down, people always let you down, your parents let you down, your wife will let you down, your husband will let you down, your kids will let you down.

01:37:54--> 01:37:54

Because there are people

01:37:56--> 01:38:11

this is the reality, and handle. And this is something I learned. Before I really started to practice Islam. That's one of the biggest and most important lessons I learned because my experience drove me

01:38:13--> 01:38:14

to Allah.

01:38:16--> 01:38:21

And it drove me to really just focus and concentrate on,

01:38:22--> 01:38:32

you know, my relationship with a lot. And sometimes I get a bit, you know, even worried that I'm a bit remote, even sometimes.

01:38:34--> 01:38:48

Even from my own wife and kids, and, you know, I do care about them. And I do love them. Of course I do. But you know, I, I have experienced in my life, a type of love for a human being that you should only give to Allah.

01:38:49--> 01:38:54

And I realized how futile and useless that love was. Right.

01:38:56--> 01:39:08

And that could be even with your parents, you should love and respect your parents in a certain way. Right? But they're just human beings. That's all they're just human beings. Right?

01:39:09--> 01:39:16

Whether they put you down or abused you, or I don't know, whatever they did, but

01:39:17--> 01:39:31

in reality, when you think about a law and your relationship with a law, and you put it in perspective with that, then it can almost become almost I would say, almost irrelevant.

01:39:33--> 01:39:33

Yeah.

01:39:38--> 01:39:39

So

01:39:40--> 01:39:59

that's brothers and sisters, really what all of us need to do. And I would say even that you need to look at your life in that perspective, that really Allah is showing you many of us may be attached to our parent. I wasn't brought up in a family where I was sent to a boarding school when I was 10 years old, right?

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I mean, that makes you a little bit detached from your parents from the age of 10, when you spend three quarters of your life in a school where you don't see them,

01:40:13--> 01:40:13

right?

01:40:14--> 01:40:18

So I don't have that attachment to my parents.

01:40:20--> 01:40:22

Yeah, I respect my parents.

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And I treat them in a certain way because Allah

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has commanded me to do that.

01:40:31--> 01:40:32

hamdulillah

01:40:34--> 01:40:43

I mean, I know a lot of people have a huge emotional attachment to their parents, because I don't know if that's their experience in life. But maybe that's Allah's way of showing you

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how weak human beings are. And if you listen to my talk,

01:40:52--> 01:40:56

I mentioned yesterday in my talk about how on the Day of Judgment,

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a man will run from his own family, his own mother.

01:41:01--> 01:41:11

If Allah says to your mother, on the day of judgment, or if Allah said to you on the Day of Judgment, throw your parents in the fire and you'll be saved, you won't even you won't hesitate.

01:41:12--> 01:41:20

knifes enough, see, just thinking of you will just think about yourself. Right? Well, if that's the reality of the Day of Judgment, right?

01:41:22--> 01:41:24

That's the reality even here.

01:41:26--> 01:41:33

That's the reality here, you you have to understand that the most important thing is your relationship with Allah.

01:41:34--> 01:41:37

Right? If Allah told you

01:41:38--> 01:41:40

to kill your parents,

01:41:43--> 01:41:45

and you know, Allah told you to kill your parents, what would you do?

01:41:49--> 01:41:55

But this is the difference between us and Ibrahim alayhis. Salaam. Of course, Abraham was told to kill his son

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to sacrifice his son.

01:41:59--> 01:42:10

When you guys hesitated in like, oh, gosh, I have to think about that one. Yeah. But that's not up to him. He knew. And Allah told him to do something, he did it. That's his son.

01:42:12--> 01:42:21

And the point being here is that our duty and our obedience and our relationship with Allah is above everything.

01:42:23--> 01:42:30

If you know that, and so I would say to that person, that that's what you need to understand from your experience.

01:42:31--> 01:42:40

Right? Is that the way your parents treated you? Right, that's it can happen worse things happen, of course, to people,

01:42:41--> 01:42:45

or worse things happen to be at the hands of their own parents, right.

01:42:46--> 01:43:05

But I would use that as a means to drive you closer to Allah and develop your relationship more with a loss of Hamill Tyler? Yeah, if you learn that from it Alhamdulillah you will start seeing all those other issues. handler will fall into place in Sharla.

01:43:08--> 01:43:09

And

01:43:10--> 01:43:16

just one other thing. Yeah. Try to have some regular ibadah

01:43:18--> 01:43:18

that you do.

01:43:19--> 01:43:23

That only you and Allah knows about it.

01:43:24--> 01:43:25

Yeah.

01:43:26--> 01:43:45

Try to have some regular it could be anything it could be saying some particular Vicar after your phone press or to recall that you pray late in the night or some pages have occurred and you read at a certain time every day.

01:43:47--> 01:44:18

This will help to regulate those fluctuations in your EMR. Yeah. You know what, the horrible thing is this high emaan and then this pledging down to extremely low Ilan, right. So I think that a way to help regulate that is to establish for yourself some regular e bada. And it will hopefully, you know, it will sort of lessen those extreme fluctuations. That's just my suggestion.

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You know, may Allah, enlighten your lives make you all peaceful, all of us peaceful and content and happy with Allah as our Lord with Islam is our Deen and with Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as our Prophet and disciple of her Solomonic