Leading With Heart – Basheer Jones & Abdullah Muhammad
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Channel: Abdullah Oduro
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Am I Well, first, you know, when we think about, you know, dirty or clean, it's a matter of perspective and dirt. You know, flowers grow through the dirt. The irony that my biggest opposition as being a Muslim city councilman, in some cases were the Muslims themselves. Wow. You know, in my city of Cleveland people didn't know me as the Muslim guy. They knew me as Bashir was the one that paid for my grandmother's funeral. Even as a man, Allah spells that out you are the leader.
Don't be confused with society's telling you don't be confused or what is on social media. You will be held accountable for what's underneath you that I gave you certain sins can humble you and bring something out of you that an arrogant good deed couldn't, that in order to even get into such detail. You have to fall apart and
you're gonna continue to suffer the way that you're suffering until you recognize the shoulders in which you're standing. Because some of us may think that manhood is the value of what's in our bank account and your manhood is the value of what we quote unquote bring to the table. She loved him for the character. She taught me how to treat women. But she couldn't teach me how to be a man
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah better katsu. I'm Abdullah Oduro, and welcome to The Man Cave where we discuss issues of male excellence while being grounded in faith, integrity, honor, what does that really mean in the life of a man particularly a Muslim man? And how does that transform to make him a person that is highly impactful to the world? We're going to discuss that today in sha Allah Tala with our two illustrious guests mashallah we have Abdullah Mohammed ne Hamdulillah. MashAllah can principle of the decades he told me not to say that
he's been a principal for over 10 years having the luxury of being internationally and domestically if you will humbly loved me. And to my left, we have brother mashallah, beloved Bashir Jones, councilmen, Cleveland and is very strategic and getting Muslims out in the forefront. As he mentioned, some Muslims do inreach though we focus on outreach, I love that, Mashallah. And I think I mean, that's a good segue, you know, when we talking about outreach, right, that that is really important, because there has to be a level of integrity. There has to be that those principles that you abide by, that you will not budge for. You know, I remember when I was Subhanallah, when I was
young, I was I just became a Muslim man. And
I was like, maybe 2122. And I was going to surgical tech school. And I'm here I'm never forget, man, I went to the hospital. They took us to a hospital called St. Luke's and Houston Medical Center. And I watched my first open heart surgery.
Mashallah, it was Mrs. Edwards, I'll never forget, you know, I was telling them, right, as a Muslim, you know, there's Fridays that I have to go to pray Juma. And even though it's during school, you know, make go for it. And then they were telling me she was telling the look, I don't know your grades. Because if you're not going to be in class, you know, you may not pass the program. I said, Look, I believe as a Muslim, Allah is gonna make everything happen. He's gonna, it's gonna make it possible. So if I pass, I pass if I don't, she was missed. Totally. Then I told her that. I said, this is my belief. You know, this is what brought me here. You know, because I became a Muslim is
what brought me here. Right. And I think it amazed her because I guess she expected me to just to abide by that which if I was to abide by it, it would counter my religious activity and religious responsibility. You know, for her seeing that that was, you know, what was the foundation for me was what was important, then of doula when I got my job? Graduated Hamdulillah. You know, got the job. You know, even before I finished, I worked at Memorial Hermann. Yep. As a surgical tech, take me back. And today, I had an opportunity to go and make Hutch. Two weeks into getting my job.
So I'm sitting here this year, man, I'm sitting here like, Yo, this is an opportunity. I was a new Muslim. Just about this is probably, you know, two years, one year into my slam, right? Islam is the one that pushed me to go to surgical tech school, I would have still been, you know, way out there. I said, Man, I never forget this man. I want to surely surely was the human resources used when they got me, Jennifer. I stood in front of her office, and doctors and people could have walked by I sit in for office and I put my hands up and just make dua. Right, that made to me. And then I walked in, I said, Surely look.
As you know, I'm a Muslim. And I know I've been here for only two weeks.
I'm taking a break. Right? So I have an opportunity to make something called the hij ha JJ you know, I
Oh yeah, I know what the heart is my husband, he loves it. She showed me a picture of the Cabos PA and she said, You know what, I know, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Go ahead and do it, we got you covered. What, Paul, our integrity, man, it's Paul, you know, so and as a man, you know, I know both of you have experienced throughout your lives and what you're going through what you went through and what you're going through, we know we will continuously go through that it's important to maintain those principles, you know what I'm saying? So, how was it for you particularly mammosphere? You know, at being in Cleveland, you're originally from Brooklyn. But
throughout your time in Cleveland, particularly in the political scene, we're gonna go into different things. But
how was integrity important for you, as a man, but particularly as a Muslim man in that sector, you can't learn how to be a man unless you see men. You know, one of the things I think we make a mistake of is, you know, you hear people say, Happy Father's Day to day mothers, you know, and even though you have women who, who can play the role of men, they can never be a man. Exactly. So when I, when I see you and see the work that you are doing, it encourages me, because most of us in the spaces that we're in, whether we principles, or should you call we are city council members, it's not a lot of us in this space, especially black and especially black Muslim. So it feels like it
feels lonely at times, right? So when you can look online and see a speech, or you can look and see these different things. It's inspiring, it's motivating. And except for me, I mean, so, you know, being in that political space, it's a lonely space, I was the first Muslim city councilman in Cleveland's history, there was a lot of decisions that had to be made. And where I had to ask myself the question, what do I want my legacy to be? And how will this be of benefit to not just
my reelection? But how will this be of benefit to my hereafter? And this was a constant conversation I will have to have. And politics is a is a, some say a dirty game? Yeah. But it is a necessary one. And there are people there are some of us who need to be in that space, in order to make sure that we are not on the menu, but have a seat at the table. I like how you said I like you said, it's a dirty game. But someone has to be in that space to Pomo. And that's the risk that a man has to take at times for his family for his community, especially when he's leading. It's got to be done. And I think that's something that a lot of, you know, every elder will say about the youth, right? But you
know, particularly with this era, being risk averse, is something that can be masculine human. You know what I'm saying? For sure. You know what I mean? So for you doing that just kind of take us there. I mean, when you What did you see that was dirty?
And you said to yourself, I'm I'm laughing? Because I don't know how much time but yeah, yeah.
I mean, you ask them a question about
education. So we got to we got to
education might be even more political.
I can't wait. Food man. Oh, I can eat.
So what did you see? That was particularly dirty? Right. And, and, and what pushed you to just say, You know what?
I got to do it. Yeah, man. Well, first, you know, when we think about, you know, dirty or clean, it's a matter of perspective and dirt. You know, flowers grow through the dirt and dirt is necessary, you know, I'm saying but, you know, I mean, for example, politics is all about the art of the compromise. And a lot of times, particularly Muslims, we look at people in political spaces, and we, we judge them as if they are Imams, and they're not imams in our shakes, we are not that we are in a totally different perspective a totally different Lane even though the masjid tend to be as political as as as other places you know, so there's plenty of times where things may have come up
for vote topics on the LGBTQ community or topics on alcohol or topics on
any of these things that may be that you may look at from the outside as adverse to to us as Muslims. And one of the reasons why actually I went to ban and got my master's in Islamic Studies was because I wanted to understand not just what we say Islam is but what is the the practicality of being a Muslim in leadership positions, which may be a little bit different, there may be and you know better than me check that you know what may be okay or not okay for one may be something totally different in this position is and you have to make this a
So if I would have came in as a councilman and say, Yo, I'm closing all of liquor stores tomorrow, all the liquor stores gonna be closed. Man, I would be out of the, I wouldn't be in that, that position the next day, there's very people who enjoy liquor the most, and the muscles that sell it to them. So
majority of the liquor stores are
from so, so. So I would have gotten out of my out of my seat from both sides, unfortunately, and I'm laughing not not because it's a joke, but just the irony, that my biggest opposition as being a Muslim city councilman in some cases where the Muslims themselves or the Muslims themselves, so So with that integrity
I like how you said you didn't just come in and just break the idols, for example, right? There has to be a level of wisdom. You know, in the Sharia, they call that looking at the math that, you know, looking at it looking further beyond and kind of, not prophesizing. But saying, okay, the probability of me doing this most likely will lead to this, you know, you know, it's beautiful last point that it says in the Quran, well, that's a super linear journeyman. Dooney, life is Subala, don't be late in, do not curse those that call to other than Allah for they will curse Allah without knowledge. This is a primary verse in regards to
you know, subdividing and closing the pathways to that which is evil. So the integrity, there has to be a level of wisdom with that. So you didn't immediately just come in and not right, you know, I think that, um,
you know, our principal, Abdullah here knows this man, especially being, you know, having a father like Imam cos, hey, Mama, you know, and many of those great men who really put the work in, in this community. You know, in my city of Cleveland people didn't know me as the Muslim guy, they knew me as by share with the one that paid for my grandmother's funeral pass by Cher was the one who built this park, but she was the one that stopped that shooting from happening by shear was, so they knew Oh, yeah. And he's Muslim. Yeah. And he's Muslim. You know. So, in Cleveland, you know, Cleveland is a different place where I have a lot of love in that city, because I serve them. So when they see my
sisters, they see the Muslim has come and have the jobs or and it's like, we're not coming to pass out pamphlets. When you see us we come in to pass out food, we pass on our medicine, and we just happen to be Muslims, and many people have become Muslim, not a result of our words, but as a result of our service. And I think that, you know, integrity is a strong word. And, and I don't and I'm not sure that that I have always had integrity, but the beauty about Islam is that
you know, the beauty of Islam and is that you always got a chance, man, you got a chance man. So my focus on service in part has been because I felt so undeserving of Allah's mercy and that service is like, just you know, I know I'm gonna get into my deeds
was just maybe I can get in from his mercy and as beautiful and excellent size with the Hadith man, you know, the process on when he said so. So, you enter agenda with his family. You know, they even when they asked him they said, Well, the answer you're not supposed to and not even you a messenger of Allah. He said, Not even me it laying into Lombardini Allahu Akbar. It says that Allah encompasses me And covers me with his mercy. So is that what you said is mashallah spot on with that man, it's
the Mercy of Allah. And I would say, I think that that's the heaviest part in any leadership position.
I have learned from other leaders that
when you really focus on your role and responsibility as a Muslim that Allah has given you with this title, even as a man, Allah spells it out, you are the leader.
Don't be confused with society's telling you don't be confused or what is on social media. You will be held accountable for what's underneath you that I gave you.
And on top of that, you have whatever job description you have outside of that. So in our position is we're sitting as leaders and
with Muslim students, there's a weight to this.
And if you don't have the proper fitness, you'll tell us more that you don't have the proper nutrition. You don't have the proper cardio. You can break some kimono. You can lose something. Yeah. And you feel that because you're sweating. You're actually again in progress. But you're just taking out energy and releasing stress for example. So I think, you know when it comes to
the integrity part
That's a heavy Title I can't see here and T on any of that. I've been blessed to be, you know, asked to join you all, and take fruits. But back to what you were saying my stepfather Memcached, Muhammad, may Allah have mercy on him and all the other great men who paved the way through their community, remember that we didn't have a community,
I was given an example, I have no excuse.
I have no excuse, and that that's a heavy weight because I knew what I had when I was with him. But a slap in my face when he was gone.
Pack them as well, and pack it. So I mean, it's the way it is, the amount of impact you don't realize until someone's gone, okay. And when you're with them, you don't appreciate what you're being given. So even with my own kids, today, picked them up from a part of school. And, of course, they're hungry, I had to finish some work before coming over. So I said, Hey, here's some, here's some dates, you know, dates assume that all kids will love dates, I assume.
So then they start asking for the mail and, and quail and fruits and vegetables, I said, we got dates right now, because we will have no dates. And I remember these conversations from my stepfather
the struggles that they went through, just to be able to have identity as a Muslim, but before that, as a man.
Okay, so the Islam part came after they realized that they actually first was a human being, that they didn't have to necessarily follow those steps and that they had some strength in it. Islam only elevated that passion and that soul and that spirit that already had that was built inside of. So this is what I saw growing up, I saw hard work integrity, for as long as he lived. And as long as he was my stepfather, he never worked for anybody. And he made that very clear to all of us, you know, cocky, and if you want, but do for yourself, build for yourself, build for your community build for the Muslims. And that work ethic helped me achieve a lot from Allah subhanaw taala with this
example. So whenever it came to sports, I wasn't the best athlete, but I'm out working for sure, I will be taking your spot in trouble.
What else coming in,
I'm coming to get just that transferred over to everything else it transferred over to whether it was work in hotels, or restaurants or case management or to education, I always loved school, that was the thing I need to school, school didn't need me I need to be in Islamic environment, then the summer environment doesn't need me, I'd benefit more than what anything I can give to any school that I've been at. And the integrity I give, because I remember when my stepfather used to say, and he did many talks about this. He says when you look at a baby,
it transforms you. Because the level of innocence and integrity that Allah has put into this child, you start transforming speaking the language of a baby.
Because you remember your innocence in this baby, and you try to wash off yourself do this baby. So you're trying to speak the language so you can be transitioned. So when I'm in a school, whether it's kindergarten or grade 12, and I'm dealing with the challenge, and I have I have a situation where I have to make a decision because that's an everyday thing, right? I have to look again back at a lot put me in this situation. But I have to reflect on myself as a leader, after the fact reflect on myself as a melt. Don't be too hard. But I also have to gain from this experience because Allah put me here.
And the integrity of an Islamic school environment, though it's not peaches and cream and all you know, we can't we have our challenges just like everywhere else. I at least get to go pray.
Right. And that's what's beautiful man, because you're in an environment that you are held responsible to lead with integrity, because you're going to see, I mean, this is youth, right? I mean, you talking about pre pubescent and pubescent in the same building in the same building? Right? You have your sixth graders, and then you have your 12th graders. So you're going to have to know how to deal with this one in a different way that you deal with that one, right. But you have to maintain that integrity in both situations. Right? Let's be out. I mean, they probably be some kids, you know, that are probably didn't pray lower when you know that when school is out and you
see, you know, but how do you appropriately adjust that sixth grader? And then that's fourth grader, you know, that you have to have and then there's probably gonna be some sisters that are probably not wearing the veil at all. I'm not wearing it appropriately. But you got to be gradual in the way you address it. Right. It's
So that that's deep, but, you know, kind of going back on your your stepfather. Yes. I think it's important that we take time to just stop for a minute, man. Because,
you know, when we're talking about what goes on in it with Islam in America, how particularly the African American diaspora
in America were the ones that really helped in establishing Islam in America, to where those that came to this country benefited from the fruits of that. I think that needs to just be articulated from the gate. I think we've, it's been gradual with that. Yes. But it was because of those men and women, for sure. In in the way that Allah has created them, the men holding it down, like literally, you know, those who don't know, we're holding it down.
Yeah, yeah. Right.
You noticed that they had to hold it down, in a certain way, in some some of those ways had to be very physical in ways that, you know, mashallah, there. Oh, geez, for a reason. Yeah. Okay. I liked it. I mean, I mean, but they had to do that in order for us to sit here today. And not only us as black men, but I mean, those that are out of Pakistani that are not African American, of course, a certain degree, of course, right? They, they had to maintain that manliness of protecting and providing, and then the woman being those of inspirations Paulo, right, amongst others, but much other beautiful characteristics that both of them contribute. What have y'all seen, man, I really
want to just stop on that. If there's any experiences you're seeing from the integrity of the man at that time, and how you benefited from them, and how that helped you in your manhood. You know what I mean? Like I say something
I wanted to just as interesting, you brought the baby thing and have the baby, you know, because I was just think about this other day, like, I have a tough time. I have a tough time with a person who was not moved by children. You know, I mean, like, if you're a person who sees a baby, and you're not moved to be like, Hey, baby, I'm like, man, what's wrong with this person? Man, like you run into people who say, Look, I don't have time for babies. You know, I don't want any babies. Yeah, and put a baby next to me. Yeah. And that that is a feeling of like, yeah, man, like, your heart is not moved, maybe something, something went down on democracy. I mean, I really it goes back
to Mercy. And I think that's, I want to say, I'm gonna get to what you said, Sheikh, but I want to, I want to speak to you all, as my brothers and let you know, because sometimes in leadership positions, and this idea of integrity can also come across as this false idea of perfection.
And there is lessons and falling in there is lessons and not getting it right. And there's lessons and you know, you know, sitting here not
committing sins, you don't I'm saying and I'm not saying it in a way that I'm trying to push anybody convinced I'm saying that certain sins can humble you, and bring something out of you that an arrogant good deed couldn't. So I just want to say to my brothers who are in leadership positions to let you know that you are enough, be merciful to yourself and meet that.
That in order to even get into such detail, you have to fall apart.
There is no way that you can get to prostration. Now fall tells you that when you dress like this,
you guys
gotta fall, but just get up. And I just want to say to the brothers, that we have to get into the habit of loving on one another, speaking life into one another and letting each other know that you are you are you are worthy, not based upon what you give to the world. But you are worthy because you are sufficient. And Allah has pushed you here for a specific reason. And, you know, shake when he was speaking about, you know, people not even still not understanding the shoulders in which they stand upon is just, you know, you're going to continue and this is directly to the Muslim community, you're going to continue to suffer the way that you're suffering until you recognize the shoulders
in which you're standing on. It's as simple as that. We're really good at inreach but we're not good at outreach. And one thing about you know, I'm a third generation most of my grandfather, my granddad Ibrahim, one of the founders with Imam Suraj are the master of the taqwa, Uncle Imam Abdul Malik from Cleveland, Cleveland. First Cleveland Marshall, Imam Abbas, who is the grandson of Haji Ali Akram, which is one of the oldest Islamic institutions in the country. Like, you know, we come from a lineage of freedom fighters and Muslims who have who have really stayed on postpone until they was properly relieved. And we have been tricked into believing that
We should not respect the woman which we come from, because of this, you know, this debate about theology and ideology. And it's like, okay, you can debate about all that you want, but you can debate about that work. You can debate about the fact that you safer in herds of America than you will ever be in rural America. And they may not know how to say a slice of Lake consistent, they may not know how to say it, they're gonna get something but they know, in Houston, and Cleveland and Brooklyn, and Chicago, and in every hood in America, this quick consequences if you mess with that sister with that, that scarf on her hand. And that was that work that our elders and ancestors put
in? And maybe they didn't have. They didn't have, you know, this full understanding of Sharia and, but they understood, they understood the importance of leading with the heart and taking care of home. And they didn't do it. All right, right. Yeah. But they did the best that they could. They understood that they understood the mission, man. So that's what I want to say to all of the elders and all of the Khadija is of our community because there is no community without our sisters in the work that they've put in behind the scenes in front of the scenes. I mean, the first person that prophesy slob ran through was Khadija where will we be Sheikh Khadija would have said, Man, you
better get out here?
Oh, can we will we be your kind of crazy because he said, I fear for myself. Yeah, you something wrong with us. But if you look at the other side, we bless the integrity of the province.
To have because sometimes, as you mentioned, you have to fall to even get to St. Jude right. The province always says his, if we're talking about manhood, the definition of manhood. Of course, it's him, others,
but his comfort, his understanding of what he is as a person.
Before the why he came, he understood what he had his wife, as a man.
And at his lowest of lows, not understanding what is we're not being able to comprehend. He didn't go to his cousin, he didn't go call his uncle, he went to his wife, because that was already established there. We're gonna support one another. So she just reminded him who he was Allahu Akbar, inspiration, she just reminded him, you were the one that I'm following. You're the one that brings the integrity to this thing. If this goes down, it all goes down. So this ain't gonna go down. And just to have that partnership, but just to connection that the Prophet SAW Selim hat was his own, you know, identity that people get into this arm that when you
understand the impact that Allah has blessed you with. And I tell people all the time, you don't have to flex your title. Exactly. It will speak for itself because of your action that you do. You don't need no banner. You don't need no tag. You don't need a different color shirt. You need no uniform. You're just doing work. And the work the work you do speaks for itself. Like they say, will you doubted his self?
Because, you know, she asked for his hands. PAMA, you don't know me. You know. So I'm just like, when we look at like, different the society that we in right now the dynamic that we didn't like, we need to do this man who speak life into us. But we don't speak it ourselves when we don't even see it in ourselves. Right? He was, you know, he, she was like, don't even worry. Don't even worry about that stuff. What you think it is, man? Because some of us may think that manhood is the value of what's in our bank account and your manhood is the value of what we quote unquote, bring to the table. She loved him for the character for his character. And she gave him the space Yep, to go to
the cave, go spend time and get away in your face and go to the cave. You should do a series on your man cave.
But as the man because, you know, sometimes it's man, we feel that we're not enough. And we go to these superficial things money, you know, how the way we look? And think that that's manhood. You know, and as beautiful the process that he did when he said that the harsh one is not the one that can wrestle a superficial physical thing that we will see, you know, the lot of youth they come to how much do you bench? Now, I look that can be a product of some type of control of myself and discipline, which is a trait of manhood, but it is not definite. So they said that, you know, the Horseman is not the one that can wrestle rather, the hardship is one that can control themselves in
times of anger. Because anger when a man gets angry, he can lash out at his family, his children, they can get dangerous. And that's what true manhood is the controlling of the self. But at the same time, like he mentioned, you know, he goes to a DJ and he was vulnerable, because he knew that she was going to be a source of inspiration. And I love how you mentioned, he wasn't a prophet at that time. It was chosen. Yeah.
But there was a relationship to where he would go to her to at this time, it's already set. It was already set already built in, you know, and that's, that's beautiful. That's beautiful man and that, that mercy that that Rama, like he mentioned earlier the Rama and she gave him reasons shake, she gave him a reason to why he should believe in himself. She started to say no Ilana gone, you take care of the guests, you take him to the orphanage, she started to speak life into her man, you know, and then she said, You know what, I'm gonna take you tomorrow, because she started to find people to speak like, yeah, so that's what that's what the women of our community ultimately have always,
always been. You know, when you look at the movements within America and in America and throughout history, you know, our sisters have always been the backbone. And, boy, boy, if you have a Khadija man you bless me, and this was beautiful, because I think the you know, the ultimate goal for me, particularly to speak about masculinity and hone in on it now is the preservation, the establishment and preservation of families. Because now you're finding what these Gender Wars what was from previous feminism and you're finding Yes. misogynist Muslim men, you know, downplaying the woman don't show your emotions to him, You can't open up to her? No, is this is very clear that there was
a level of opening up, of course, and there was vulnerability. And then the wife didn't take advantage of it. She didn't look at him as weak. She looked at him as a source of inspiration. She was a source of inspiration is actually i You mentioned watercolor to her cousin. She was the glue at that time, but she knew he was the leader as well. Which is, which is beautiful. Masculinity does not inherently mean debunk or debasing the woman Yep. No masculinity is embracing and understanding the woman and knowing that we need each other but understanding and embracing our nature as well. And I think that's what you mentioned, the our forefathers, mashallah that were here and established
Islam, they understood that very, very well, mashallah to Vandalia. And these institutions were established. Yeah, I mean, even if you look back, you know, during, if you want to say, the nation time and how they had things that first of Islam, that was number one, and number two, there was no disrespect, in that. They were trained to be able to run it when the men were doing what they needed to do. And there was a level of confidence, there was a level of trust, there was a level of communication, there was a level of support, there was a level of gratitude. Because everyone understood the job, everyone understood the assignment. And we want to be that nation. If we want to
be that movement, then we have to put all our egos aside the different levels of our neffs and say, Why are we here? And how can we contribute for what the future generations Yeah, and I wouldn't be sitting here, I mean, my mother took her shadow when she was 17. She was Catholic. My dad took his shahada when he was 22, Baptists, stepfather, he had his own history of living in the streets living in YMCAs. And then when I tell my people, I want to tell people I said, My stepfather is an ex gang leader of the Chicago streets. That's what raised me.
What are you talking about?
Like I'm not, I don't need to go back and forth with you. We don't went through it all. The crease on the bed, who we had the trunk as if we were in the military could war, I didn't know if I was in a movie, watching a movie.
Or making a sequel, it was confusing at times growing up. But we made it though we made it.
So I mean, having that model is important. And I think a big part, you know, to be fair, even for the woman's side, when you have a role as a leader inside the house, we know but when you're you've chosen from Allah to lead others, that balance of home and work, especially when you have children and involved and especially when your wife is in need of you as well.
That balance is a big part of our role as the integrity for the definition of a household, to call it a house to call it a family structure. We just don't want to have the titles. Right. You know, I want to I want to, I want to speak on that. Because, you know, I was I was having a conversation with my son. And
I know a lot of times, you know, we get into these conversations and because of the noise of the outside world, we find it necessary to make sure that we uplift women. And this is important. It's important for us to do it. But I told my son that it could be patient with me. I said, before I want you to become a good husband, I want you to be a good man. Like I want you to be okay with being a good man. And you your value is not necessarily in becoming a husband or in how you treat women, which is all important. Don't get me wrong, it's important course. But we grew up in a society where you know, we tell our girls, you know, to love yourselves and make sure that you choose the right
person and you know, blah, blah blah and all thing that we should but when it comes to our sons
If we don't have the same type of dialogue of what they deserve, as well, and I want for for every young boy and for every man, you know, growing up, I didn't have my father in my life. And I grew up, really hating my father, really hating him hating his absence. But it wasn't until I became a man and became a man, that I realized that he had his own journey. And whatever it was that he wasn't, has made me the man who I am today, I love him. So the same way that I can be thankful to who my mother was, for me, I have to also be thankful to my father wasn't because it made me who I am. And at that point, when I can be forgiving to him for his journey, and him being a human being,
then I was able to say, You know what?
My goal in life wasn't to graduate from Morehouse, it wasn't to become a councilman, it was just to be a better father than my father was. But the moment that I realized that my father had his own journey, and I was able to forgive him, then I was able to be merciful to my own self, in my own journey. Because if you hate your father, there's a part of you that you're going to also
have some hatred for, because you are your father. So I just want to say to every man that's out there who is struggling, you know, to be the man that their father was in or, you know, to be a better husband, you know, to be like to be to be something for somebody else. We always as men, valuing ourselves based upon who we are for others, rather than Who are you when you are alone, when you are by yourself, when you look in the mirror, do you find? Are you happy with that human being? And you know, the best thing my mother taught me was how to treat women. That's all. I mean, that's, I mean, if she told me to be merciful, and empathetic and these things, yeah, who I love, and my mom
name is Imani. she transitioned 13 years back from from breast cancer. So my best best friend was she she taught me how to treat women. But she couldn't teach me how to be a man. Almost no way she could do that beautiful. And I think that is the is us what we're doing. You don't know shake how
many people you're inspiring upon to be men to be okay to be a man. Absolutely, you as well as being a principle of being growing through what you've been through and overcoming what you've overcome. You don't know how every day is a student that may come to school brother, who just can't wait to see how you go and look today. He knows and can't wait to just hopefully that you just say, you know, saying what's up to him or just a job, and people depend on it to the world, you may be one person but to one person, you might mean the world man. You know, so much love to the brothers out there who just struggling man who don't know if they're gonna make it to see tomorrow, you know,
just know that you important to when you when you spoke about your father.
It reminded me, you know, a lot of times, because you don't have one father, I know who my stepfather is. May Allah have mercy on me. I know who my father is. So I've been blessed to have that as a blessing. My parents did that amazing job. Never was there anything negative. I heard from any side growing up about either one. But when I did go see my father, which was which was normal. Every summer, the thing that I learned from my father very on is consistency. He'd always pray at the masjid.
Even if he had to walk. Even if we had to get the bus. Even if we were only gonna be there for just a few days, we will always go into mash and pray that was ingrained in us. Even if we only saw him for the summer. And the amount of conversations that we had, starting younger, may not have been as deep, but they were meaningful. He chose his words wisely, to where we remembered, you know,
what we're supposed to do when we're not with him.
And where we're supposed to be consistent on even though I don't have to say it to you, because I know I'm not in your face. As your said father's in your face. Because I noticed that father
for the chasm, Mashallah. He had his own reputation. So he knew he didn't have to give as much but he knew which ones to give to wear. Me the little crime that I know or reading it on a consistent basis when it happens are praying. I know where that foundation come came from, from my stepfather being able to understand going a little deeper, being able to get into the community have that confidence. I know where that came from. Right. Then I look at the other male figures in my life. My uncles are my other siblings, my oldest sibling of the white head, you know, one out of 11 He's number one. So he's like, I'm the white head and I'm like your butt your
butt
Seeing what he went through and being able to reflect on
a man looking at another man and not being envious, as powerful man was saying, Man, I want that what he got, and I'm gonna learn from him. Yes. Like in education you beg, borrow, steal, you take whatever is the best because it's not about you. It's about these kids in front of you. So if I gotta go to your class and watch a class three times, because these kids come out of here exciting. I'm going to lower my X amount of years, I got the little letters I got that comes with my degrees and all this other stuff. And I'm going to take from you because I want to give the best of myself to these kids. That's Matt, back to what you're saying, Wow, this is not about you know, who's gonna
get the light? It's about you've been presented the opportunity are you going to humble yourself and benefit yourself first, or benefit those that allows allows you to serve because you're gonna get both just depending on how you look at it as powerful bro and as beautiful Allah bless you.
You know, that's a beautiful statement want to end with is a statement. I always say I've probably said it before on this show. But when we're young with our father's relationship with the sons and the fathers when we're young, our fathers we idolize them when we get a little older as teenagers we demonize them but then when we become older, we humanize them wow that's powerful last was idolized, demonize humanized
and as deep as I mean, we all you know, had that level of going through it man and Subhan Allah may Allah subhanaw taala make us men of integrity and honor Me and allow that honor to be a rippling effect upon those around us inshallah. Jake I appreciate you having me here. having us here together this beautiful brother now connected everything gonna get on his clothing line.
Did not tell me he was show love. I could get on your scholarship
it was like shining
cocoa butter
shea butter, just to be around you brothers, man. I feel stronger. Man. I just want to say thank you as well check. And I want to just say thank you to my own father. You know, I want to say thank you to my father. I mean, I appreciate you, Abby. You named me Bashir, you gave me life on law and you gave me the greatest gift. And I just want you to know that it was sufficient to pray that anything God do good I pray that you get the blessings for
Thank you.
Thank you for coming man. May Allah bless you in your efforts man and I hope this isn't the last time we see each other.
I mean, the law may Allah bless you too man for coming through my door for me and family forgive all of us in sha Allah Allah Who even go on shake. I know he don't talk too much but he does. He does conferences and Cali and all
the brothers together it's good you need that I think shakey should really think about that man I think you have the you have the influence and power to bring us all together from different places. And I mean, maybe there needs to be this Muslim man hood conference. We go that leaders from politician businessman educators that we come together to pray for the next generation. Oh, stay tuned. We weren't
Oh, yes. Camila.
I saw that that's something that I was forced me last month Allah bless y'all for watching inshallah and make all of us especially the men that embody male excellence are being grounded in faith. Us and I'm why they come over cats.