Family First

Abdul Nasir Jangda

Channel: Abdul Nasir Jangda

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Family First – Sheikh Abdul Nasir Jangda

Revival Of The Ummah Convention 2014

Episode Transcript

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah who Allah alayhi wa sahbihi mehreen Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

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Allah subhana wa tada says in the Quran, addressing the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam at the conclusion of one of the most powerful sutras in the Quran, what more Allah kabhi Salatu was fabella Allah.

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If we take a survey of the circumstances in the Muslim community today, you know, this conference is called revival of the oma. If we were to survey the situation of the oma today, quite possibly one of the greatest issues that are faced that is facing the oma today is the destruction and the deterioration of the family units. For many people, particularly youth, this is the root cause of their disenchantment, even with their faith and their belief in Islam.

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The Quran was revealed by Allah subhanho wa Taala, to the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and then given to human beings so that they could live and experience a meaningful existence. The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sent to realize and exemplified this purpose in existence. Family is an integral part of experiencing life and its beauty. You know, and as they say, faith in family, what is important faith and family. So what I wanted to talk about here today, and this is part of the balance that actually Islam advocates and preaches as well, is that family is a core part of the religious spiritual experience. Family is a tenant of our Deen and our

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religion. It is one of the primary tenants of our faith. Allah subhanho wa Taala in the Quran in surah, Nisa, he says two things you have to look out for. If there are two things that you can manage. If there are two things that you can take care of, you'll be alright at the end of the day. What's up a lot and Evita aluna de Waal Erhan Allah subhanho wa Taala says, Be careful about your relationship with Allah. Take care of your relationship with Allah with God. And number two, take care of your relationship with your family, and you will be okay at the end of the day.

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So family is very, very important. And we understand this at a human level. Maybe we understand it at an emotional level. That family is something everyone looks forward to everyone desires, everyone wants. But what I wanted to address today, that I feel is not addressed enough within our communities is the importance of families spiritually, this idea has been advocated for a very long time. Unfortunately, in the Muslim community, this idea has been advocated. The family is a distraction.

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Family is a distraction, family gets in the way of you and your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala.

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But what we actually need to understand on one side or present the idea, family is an opportunity. It's a chance and an opportunity. It's a resource, it's a thrill, to come closer to.

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And in fact, I'll go even further than that, unless and until we take care of our families and our relationship with our families. We cannot we cannot experience a proper relationship with the last panel autonomy.

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And so I'd like to approach this from the perspective of the end the life of the messengers of Allah, Ronnie who was setting them.

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First and foremost, the first thing I'd like to address is the concept what is the purpose of our lives? What is the purpose of our lives? unless Allah tells us I you don't need me to come up here and spew some fancy philosophy about what the purpose of our lives is.

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That tells us very clearly, well my own genome.

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I did not create the human being and the jinn except to subject them to

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Send me to worship me to devote and dedicate their lives to me, so that they may enslave themselves to me.

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That says, the purpose of our lives is to serve Him. And the primary form of serving Him is by worshiping him.

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But that brings about a question how do we worship Allah. So the problem is, we have not defined a Baba properly, or a bother to us is ritual worship. When I make when I stand.

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When I make when I sit down, and I open up to most haven't read from the

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past,

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and I don't eat or drink anything all day long, that is a bother.

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And that's it. Everything else is not a bother.

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But we need to recalibrate ourselves and redefine this concept of a Baba in worship.

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And worship is anything and everything that is done out of the obedience of a lost power.

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And to understand the full implications of this, we have to go to the life of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam and see how he lived and demonstrated arriba for us, if you'll allow me, I'd like to kind of take this opportunity for a little bit of a tangent, I will make it very lengthy,

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tells the prophets a lot

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lucila him that we have sent down the reminder upon you.

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So that you may explain to the people who were sent down to them, the job the job description of the messenger sallallahu Sallam was to exemplify was to live was explained through his life, how the Quran can be lived.

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So the emphasis upon the Quran is necessary. But a part of that emphasis upon the Koran is that we need to intimately read and understand how the prophets lived every single day of his life. How did he wake up in the morning? How did he earn a living? How did he interact with his family? What was his conduct with his neighbors? How can we engage with members of society? How can he leave his community? How can he play with his children? How can he talk to his spouse, we need to understand all of this, we need to know this intimately.

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This is responsible for a lot of the confusion and the crisis of faith that exists within our communities. Because Islam is not something real and practical. It's not something living and breathing. It's theoretical to a lot of our people. But it is something real and it is something breathing and that is captured within the life of the Prophet sallallahu sallam.

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So we need to go to the life of the prophets and see how he exemplified the concept of a Baba and worship.

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The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says

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income. earning a living supporting your family

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is an obligation after the obligatory prayers. It is an obligation. It is not just

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says a judge

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that a businessman that is honest and trustworthy, will be resurrected in the company of the prophets and the marches in the righteous and the pious. That is, when you go in you conduct your business in a proper, ethical, moral Islamic manner. You are engaged in worship. When you go to your work. When you go to your job, and you conduct yourself honestly you are engaged in worship. Let's take this a little bit further now. I shadowed the Allahu taala talks about the fact that when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sitting in there it cough Yeah, it can fit. anyone's not familiar is when you take out time and you dedicate that time to Allah and you restrict yourself to

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the confines of the masjid. I will not leave the machine for the last 10 days and nights of the month of Ramadan. That is the concept of erotica of the province of Medina was in errante cough and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam at night. At night in the evening time.

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There was a curtain between the home of the prophets a lot a solemn and the masjid. He goes in. He sits down at the end of the month.

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Should

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Be a man who comes and sits behind him, removes a curtain and was combing and brushing his hair. That is a bother

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the Prophet of Allah.

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Allahu taala talks about how when she wouldn't he wouldn't be praying the ambulating 200 at night in his home, and their home was so small that her legs would be stretched out in front of him. When he would go into sujood he would move her legs aside and do senza when he was getting back up, he wouldn't put her legs back out for her that wasn't revived and worship.

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The Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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he was giving hotma one time he was on the member, you know, how serious is football again, just a minute, so that we understand what Dubai is. So it's such a serious active, a bother in worship, you are not allowed to talk while listening to the football. You are not allowed to engage in any other activity while listening to the football. So much older at the time of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam once a hobby he was sitting and he was aware of the fact

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that you're not supposed to talk. You're not even supposed to return somebody Salaam as a hobby came and said salam to him during the middle of the hotbar he did not respond to him and not responding to someone Salam is a huge insult and it's a huge offense in Islam. So he was very offended somebody he sat down quietly cuz he did not want to disrupt the football. After the football he goes to the profits a lot he sent me says yada

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yada rasulillah I gave my brother Salaam and he did not respond to me

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and the province a lot of incidents that explain yourself. And he said O Messenger of Allah, He said Salaam to me while you were giving the football. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said assata you did correct. You should not even respond to someone Salam if the football is going on. Goodbye so serious. But what did our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he was giving the hotbar on the member and while giving the football his grandson

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has another Allahu taala

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walks up to him as children do.

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The child the baby sees the grandfather and runs up to him and he's standing on the member delivering the hookah the profits, allotting some pauses his steps down from the member picks him up, hugs him and kisses him. Lets everyone know he says this is my grandson. In Nepal, he has a saying you don't. And then he puts him back down and the child runs off to go play again. And the profits of modernism climbs back on to the member and he continues his football.

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That is a bother

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the Prophet of Allah Salallahu alaihe salam is in such a such a serious act of worship. And his grandson climbs onto his back as children are prone to do. Right climbs onto his back. And by the way, you know, one of the one of the scholars was mentioning the fact that the fact that the child climbed onto his back means that was something that was very familiar to the child. That means that the grandson of the prophets a lot easier to use to the prophets, a lot of them playing horsey with him. You know, when you get down on your knees and on your hands and the kid sits on your back and you walk around like a horsey.

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right he was used to that concept. So when he sees his grandfather into do the climbs onto his back, now the province a lot of knows that if he comes up from to shoot, the child will fall.

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So he stays in touch.

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We would get we would throw a fence. We will talk about are we sure

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the messenger stays in touch until the child climbs off of his back. And then he continues this salon. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was praying and the daughter of Xena, his granddaughter the daughter of his daughter, Zainab, radi Allahu taala, Angola was a baby and she was crying.

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And while the province Elisa was praying salah and the baby sitting on the ground, crying, the province of Luddism in his prayer, reaches down and picks her up and holds her in his salon.

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That is,

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that is worship.

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So what we have to understand we have to recalibrate ourselves. Spending time with your family, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and I'm gonna speak in code, because this is a family environment. But I want the adults to understand what I'm saying. The Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi salam told the Sahaba or the Allahu anhu that engaging in physical intimacy with one

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spouse is an actor very bad at worship reward.

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And they said, we're keeping our masuleh. How can that be? This act of physical intimacy puts you in a state of Geneva. You are not allowed to pray in that state, it is no jossa.

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How can this be an act of worship?

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And the prophets? A lot of them said, Well, if you were to go and engage in this act outside of marriage, would it be a sin? He said, Yes. So he said that this is obviously an act of worship and reward fee.

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What we have to understand that if that physical intimacy with one spouse is an active reward,

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when you sit and you have a conversation with your wife, when you sit down and you have a conversation with your husband, when you play with your children,

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when you go when you check on your parents, when you make a phone call to your brother and sister, that is an act of worship and inactive, very bother. It is the beauty and the essence of our Deen and our religion, Islam.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, so I wanted to talk about this problem of family from a few different angles, number one, number one, I'd like to talk about what is it? What are the key issues here? What are the key problems, and then I, of course, want to talk about the solutions.

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Number one is what interferes we all know, at a human level, we all desire family, there was a time the guy who's sick and tired, you know, or claims to be sick and tired of his wife, the wife who cannot stand her husband, there was a time where you wanted nothing more than to get married. Right when you were 20 years old. In fact, these days when you were 16 years old, you were campaigning with your parents about the importance of marriage. Right you were you were you were you were petitioning hardcore, I want to get married, I need to get married, I want to get married, I need to get married. So we understand on a human level. We all want relationships, we all want family.

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But then what is it that goes wrong? One thing that goes wrong terribly wrong is a lot of times, our worldly ambitions interfere with our family life. And with our relationships, our pursuit, our desire, our insatiable need, and constant wants of the dunya takes us away from our families.

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And that's something we have to understand. I'll address some of the common excuses we make. A parents will say a father will say, I want to give you the life that we never had. I don't I want you to have all the good things in life. And so we buy a bigger house, and we get nice cars. And we buy the most expensive shoes, and the nicest clothes, and all the latest greatest video games and laptops and devices.

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You have to understand that when these children when they're young, when they're small, they're more than happy with the fact that you gave them a video game, or you bought them the shoes that they wanted, or they got some item that they wanted, but their children, they don't know what's best for them.

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When the children grow up, they will not care about how many pairs of shoes, you bought them how many video games you bought them, but they will remember all the time that you did not spend with them.

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They look at other children that might not have the material things that they have. But they run around in the you know, outside the house and they throw a ball around with their fathers. They see them riding bikes in the park with their parents. They see them going swimming with their father.

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And they look at that, and they longed for that and they wish that they had that.

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This is our insatiable need of the dunya. And this is gonna sound like a separate topic. But it's really is part of the problem. And it's necessary for us to address it so we can get to the solution.

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understand one thing that this desire for dunya this desire for material things will never ever end.

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The only way to create some level of satisfaction is to start to live within your means.

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It is to start living within your means.

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One of the greatest plagues upon humanity. I'm not sure if the statistics in Trinidad and Tobago here. So I don't know and I won't address it but I don't expect it to be too much different in the United States right now. One of the greatest problems that you're generally everybody in america is facing is

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debt is money.

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It is a crisis of debt.

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Currently right now, when you count up credit card debt, I'm not talking about homes people own. I'm not talking about the payments on the cars they make. I'm talking about that plastic that you swipe the charge that you make to your credit card when you don't have money to buy what you're trying to buy, and you charge it to your credit card. Currently, the amount of credit card debt in America is over $800 billion 800 billion US dollars of credit card debt. The average amount of credit card debt per household in America right now is over $15,000.

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And this is a disease, a virus that will eat you alive, you will Ravage your family will destroy your home, it will leave you with nothing.

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Start to live within your means and provide. don't replace love. don't replace time. Don't replace the experiences with one's family through material things, but start removing the material things from your life and replace them with time spent together.

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There was a survey that was done by the Center for Substance abuse and addiction at Columbia University, where they said that families that eat one meal together a day or make healthier happier homes and families. We have something even more amazing than eating a meal together, praying together.

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prayed together. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to go and praise Salah in the masjid. Where did he bring his Sunnah? Does anybody know?

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He would not present sooner in the masjid.

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The Messenger of Allah azza wa jal Imagine if we were there, and we saw the prophets a lot of them pray the Father. And after the party gets up and he goes into his home, we would say oh a soffit Allah. He mom saw you don't pray Sunnah.

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Right? What kind of Malala is is he doesn't pray soon now. That's what we would say. May Allah forgive us. But the Messenger of Allah azza wa jal would go home and pray the Sunnah at home.

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He would pray with his family. You were praying with his wife you would pray with his children with them around him, encouraging the children to pray.

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making art together making the thicker together teaching the kids how to make do our How to make the get into sphere,

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praying together. What more anacapri Salatu was Sameera Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala says, tell your family to pray, and you yourself a messenger be very consistent and regular about the prayer.

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Because the family that prays together stays together.

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A family that prays together stays together,

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prayed together as a family come closer to a lot together as a family.

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The Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, smiling at your parents is sadaqa the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said putting a bite of food in the mouth of your spouse, like feeding your spouse with your own hands is sadaqa the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said spending money on your children

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taking them outside to get some ice cream is certified.

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This is our Deen the holistic nature of our religion.

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And you know we were supposed to be representatives to the rest of humanity. We talk about Dawa. What are we giving downward to?

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You do understand that when we show it when we show an ad on television, or you put an ad in the newspaper, or we put a big sign by the side of the road, or we hand somebody a book or they go to a website. Eventually they will have to meet a Muslim. They will have to talk to a Muslim. What will they see?

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what they see marriages that are falling apart. They'll say we have that

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I don't need to be a Muslim to make my marriage fail. We already have that. Will they see parents and children that cannot stand each other?

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They'll say we have that.

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So even if you want to look at it from the perspective of Dawa preaching, calling to Islam, the greatest call to Islam is how we live our lives. The Sahaba love the companions of the prophets, a lot of Islam that were the best diaries, the best callers to Allah

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What did they used to say? They would say three words. Qu mithuna be like us.

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Can we walk up to somebody right now and say be like us?

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They'll say thank you. But no, thank you. Thanks for No thanks.

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Right, thanks tanks, but no tanks, right? No, thank you. I don't want any part of this. So we have to exemplify our Deen in our religion, and families a huge part of this.

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The last thing I wanted to address here in terms of the problems that plague family in our communities, is there's also some confusion that I talked about earlier. That family is a barrier to spirituality.

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family gets in the way of our relationship with the loss of autonomy. There's some confusion about this concept in this idea.

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And I hope everyone understands through some of the examples I talked about how family is a means of coming closer to Allah.

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The Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he is the pinnacle of spirituality. There is nobody more spiritual, there is nobody more religious, there is nobody more pious nor will there ever be anyone more pious than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam

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what was his relationship with his family?

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If anybody was above these things like love and affection and family relationships, it would have been the prophets a lot of them but what was his relationship with his family like

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the Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked by his companions, who is the most beloved person to you?

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And he said, Arusha

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he said his wife, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is sitting with his companions. After the Battle of button. He sees a necklace. It is a necklace that used to belong to his late wife, his deceased wife, Khadija rhodiola Juana that he had given to their daughters they know that she had sent us ransom for her husband. He sees the necklace Khadija his old necklace, he starts to cry in front of everyone.

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And when they asked him Is everything okay on messenger of Allah, and he says, This is Khadija his necklace. It reminds me of her.

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That his family from the life of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. The province alarmism goes outside of his home and is racing without a shadow of the alarm outside during the day time.

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He's playing with his wife

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because that's the sooner that's our Dean, that's Islam.

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The Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. It's a very emotional story. It's very difficult to talk about.

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But the prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he

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he goes to visit

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the the nurse,

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the woman that loves to breastfeed his son, Ibrahim, he's a baby. It's his newborn son, Ibrahim. They have a wet nurse, a woman that feeds him and looks after him.

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The profits of lolly Salaam is given the news that Ibrahim is not doing so well.

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The prophets a lot of them goes over to the nurses home. He takes Ibrahim Ali Ibrahim Roddy along with his son Ibrahim, he takes him in his hands

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and he kisses him. And it says something very interesting. It's so human is a hadith and Buhari By the way, he says

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my Ebner who Abraham

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for Kabbalah, who he kissed his son was Shama Who? He smelled him.

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You know, you think about it, you know, sometimes you hold that they talk about the smell of a baby. How nice they smell.

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He smelled him like he held him close.

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So he kisses me, he hugs him.

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And then he sits down holding him in his lap. I've been around for the Allahu taala and who mentioned and has been Malik mentioned that we came after a little while to see how everything was going. So mahana Allahabad aliqua ebrahimian giovinazzi he.

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We walked in and his son Ibrahim was struggling to breathe. He couldn't breathe. The baby was struggling to breathe

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for jalaja rasulillah he's alive.

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From

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the eyes of the prophets, a lot of them began to flow with tears started to cry

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for Carla who had been out

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of drama houses in your messenger of Allah, you cry like this.

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And the prophets of autism said yep now

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Oh, man in Ramadan in Ramadan, he said this is mercy This is mercy for Kala in the liner, Padma eyes they shed tears while

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the heart It feels pain. Well I love Hulu Illa you're the robina but we do not say accept what is pleasing to our Lord. Well in Nabi fear Africa, Lama has una una Ibrahim, and I miss you so much, my son we brought him I miss you so much.

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This is the humaneness of the prophets allottee Center. This is the emphasis that is placed on family.

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As parents, I want to address now talking about solutions. I'd like to address a few different demographics in our community, depending on the role that you play in the family. As a husband, I

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understand that your sole responsibility is not just simply earning a paycheck, that is but a part of your job and responsibility. That is a part of the promise you made on the day that you were married to your wife. But your first and foremost responsibility

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is to be physical and emotional, a psychological and even a spiritual protector and caretaker. And partner for your wife

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to love her, to take care of her to listen to her

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to attend to her emotional needs.

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This requires a lot of emotional sophistication and maturity. Look at the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would compliment his wives he would comment on their beauty he would give them beautiful nicknames that address their beauty and their intelligence and their qualities. This part of the sun that we completely forget

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we want to talk about original Luca Muna Allah Nisa.

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Right men are, you know, Miss translation, we talk about our men are in authority over women, we'd love to talk about this. Where are we talking about the fact that the profits a lot is heavily used to do household chores, he used to help out at home, he would feed the children you would play with the kids, he would compliment his wives.

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So we have to be careful about this. We have to be mindful of this.

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Similarly, for wives, there's a very, very common problem in predicaments that really plagues our communities A lot of times, and I'll talk about parenting in just a second just to comment. But don't become so busy being a mother that you forget to be a wife.

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Don't be become so preoccupied being a mother. We sisters are very offended when I say this.

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All right, my wife is here. You can go and complain to her afterwards. All right. But I'll be very honest with you. Being a mother there is more no more no noble thing than being a mother. I oftentimes tell people I learned emaan I learned how to believe from my mom.

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And I learned a flock and how to conduct myself from my father.

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But at the same time, do not forget the fact that you are a wife

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and be emotionally available. We a lot of times think men like to act tough, but they are the biggest cities in the world.

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They want somebody to ask them, How did your day go?

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Right? He'll pretend like he doesn't want to talk to you. But he's looking forward to you asking him how his day went.

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He's looking forward to you smiling at him

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and tending to him.

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And so pay attention.

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Allah subhanaw taala says, you know, again, we trivialize these things. It's like when people become more religious. They think that intimacy and emotional connection and all of these things and romance and all of these things are not for religious people. That's for all them sinners out there. None of them know the last final return in the answers woman Aya t am Haleakala calm, mean unfussy calm as virgin Lita, schooner, la ha

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agin Allah subhanaw taala says from the miraculous signs of Allah from one of the ways that you can recognize the fact that Allah exists, is the fact that Allah has created for you a partner or a spouse,

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Lita, scudo, la ha, so that you may find peace and tranquility with your spouse, la ha, you will go to your spouse to find peace and tranquility. We say a successful love, brother, peace and tranquility comes from Salah, from Vicar from Quran, not from a human being, it comes from Allah, but Allah is saying, go and seek peace and tranquility in your spouse.

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So understand the responsibility you have towards your spouse and what the purpose of marriage is.

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Number two, if you play the role of a parent

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Yes, yes, you are parents and they have to respect you and you have authority stop obsessing over them.

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Anytime somebody quotes

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you know, the fact that they have authority tells you right there they are not deserving of that authority.

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Because if you have to say it means you're doing something wrong.

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The way you conduct yourself, the the the responsibility that you have

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the way that you handle your responsibilities, commands respect, and people will follow including your own children.

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The first and foremost thing if you are a parent, you have to understand is that Allah subhanaw taala. In the Quran, he uses a few different types of words when he talks about what he has given one word I use this as a thought to give. Another word that Allah uses is he tie it means to grants. And the third word that Allah uses is the word Heba. The word hereby means a gift.

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Yeah, Buddha manga enough and well yeah, hubballi manga shot was good for heavenly Milan. khazaria Tampa.

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Allah subhanaw taala. Whenever in the Quran, he talks about giving children uses the word HIPAA, the word HIPAA means a gift.

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Children are a gift, a precious gift, and a manna from Allah subhanaw taala. Treasure them, love them, before you obsess about them doing what you tell them to do. Before you worry about them being obedient to you, and subservient to you and serving you. Worry about showing them love and compassion and affection. Focus on that first.

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And especially one problem area. Again, I'm pretty sure that it's the same here in this community and society as well. is the issue with teenagers with youth.

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First of all, stop calling them a problem. Every single time in our community. We talk about the youth we say the problem of the youth.

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Do you understand how psychologically damaging it is that every single time people talk about you they call you a problem? Every single time your parents look at you they do is too far. You walk into the room you're like slower they come they're like a soccer alasa.

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Right, you understand how traumatic that is? what we're doing to our children, our youth, what we're doing to them, when we treat them in this way we treat them like they're a problem. Like they're an embarrassment, like they are walking talking sin machines.

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It's very, very damaging. So first of all, stop that. Number two,

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this is going to be very difficult for a lot of parents to come to terms with number one, focus on teaching your children, your youth, Islam, not your own personal version of Islam. Not your culture, not your own personal version of Islam, not what your parents did and what their parents did. But focus on teaching them Islam.

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It might not exactly look the way you wanted to it might not sound the way you'd like for it to.

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But if it is in accordance with the deen, that's that's all that should matter to you. Number two.

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Also remember the days

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everyone when they become a parents, they it's like they have memory loss.

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When a person becomes a parent, they forget themselves being children. When your kids become teenagers, you completely lose memory of the days when you were a teenager completely,

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completely. I remember you know even in this is somewhat personal. But just to share an example with you. My dad humbler is a really easygoing guy.

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He's a really soft, gentle guy. He's a little too affectionate, like he, he hugs and kisses me even now till today, every time he sees me in public, so it's kind of embarrassing, but that's how my father is. So he's a good dude. I like him. I love him very much. But, you know, parents are parents. So when I was a teenager, I had my kind of, you know, I had my streak where I was a little bit, you know, defiance, and a little rebellious. And my dad would get kind of upset at times, he get kind of frustrated. And my remember, my grandmother was visiting.

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And my dad was kind of upset. You know, cuz he told me to do something. And I kind of said something back, I was like, No, I'm not gonna do, right. And my dad was like, This kid. He's starting to talk back and I can't believe and my grandmother's like, Hey, hey,

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you know, my grandmother was really tough lady, my love. She's like, Hey, did you forget what you used to talk? Like? He's a good kid. You were the biggest headache in the world. And he's like, ah, stop, stop, stop. It's okay. All right, let's go, let's go. It's Chai time, drink some giant. And she's like, No, no, this guy, he would fight me on everything. And she went on and on. And she told me all these amazing stories about my dad. Amazing Stories, right? But my point is simply,

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before you become so frustrated with your youth and your teenagers, remember the days when you

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had trouble understanding what your parents were saying? Give you don't want the things I constantly tell people in our community. And I'm pretty sure it's the same here.

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Do you know that when your kids go to school,

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and when did the minute they come back from school and they walk into the house? You jumped down their throat? Hey, did you break your salon? Go make we'll do are you fasting? Did you do and tick off? What about? We just jumped down their throat?

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Completely? We terrorize them.

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Do you understand how much the world has changed since you went to school?

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It is so difficult out there. Especially if you have teenagers. You have kids in high school. When if they go to school for eight hours a day or six hours a day. Understand they don't go to school only for six hours a day. They fight for their EMR six hours a day.

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Young people tell me when they step out from their school every single day in some places. They say their Shahada again,

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they feel like they lose their email every single day. whether right or wrong, we're not talking about that. That is the reality that your kids are living with. Be grateful they come home to you.

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They say Salaam to you. They stand and they pray with you. They sit and they eat with you. And that's still not enough for you.

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gives them some room to breathe.

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Very important develop some empathy. Very important

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for the young people

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who are frustrated with their parents

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understand that the Quran is very clear. After a lot of talks about our obligations to a lot he talks about our obligation towards our parents. Well Katara buka Allah Jabu Illa Yahuwah Bellini Sana, by the way, as if I haven't beaten up enough on parents today. You do understand that this idea that we constantly quote to our youth and our children, you do understand that this is about elderly parents. So it's actually more about how you treat your parents. Once you have your own kids more so than it is how your kids treat you. But anyways, we understand that our obligation after Allah is an obligation towards our parents. The Messenger of Allah sallallahu Sallam talks about

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gender being under the feet of the mother, the prophets, Allah talks about the father being a gate of Paradise,

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the happiness of our parents. And you know why that is because it is gratitude. It is gratitude, no human being, nobody has done more for you after Allah. Allah subhanho wa Taala than your mother after Allah you owe the most to your mother. When the profits of money seminar, hadith of Sahih Muslim when he was trying to think of something that would give us some idea about how much Allah loves us, the closest thing he could compare it to was how much Allah mother loves her child. So behind Allah.

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Your parents have done more for you than you will ever understand or realize. In fact, the only time that you and you will get some idea of how much your parents have done for you is when you have children of your own.

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When you have kids of your own, there are days where I will teach all day long.

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At the seminary and follow me in Dallas, I will teach from the morning, there are days when I will leave Friday morning on a flight, I will land somewhere go straight from the airport to the machine, give a football after football. I will have a meeting. After the meeting, I will speak to the youth. After speaking to the youth, I will teach a three hour class. After teaching a three hour class I will have dinner with the volunteers and answer their questions. After doing all of that I will get back to my hotel at 2am. But the problem is I have a flight at 5am or 6am. So if I go to sleep, I miss my flight. So I sit there for two hours and I read a book because I can't go to sleep. I miss

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my flight. Then I go to the airport at 5am. I get on a flight at 6am. I land back in Dallas at 10am. When I walk out of the airport, I am a zombie.

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I am the living dead.

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I have walked by people I've known my entire life in the airport without recognizing them.

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Like, you know an uncle that I've known my whole life. My dad's friend, he works at the airport. I walked by him one time and he's like Nazi, Nazi, Nazi Nazi until he tapped me on my shoulder and I said, Hey, and he's like, what's wrong with you? I want you to say Salaam and I said I'm sorry.

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Like I'm completely out of it. All I am physically capable of doing at that time is going to sleep.

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And I will walk out of the airport and my wife will pull up in the car. And my kids are doing backflips in the backseat.

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You know, our kids are they're doing backflips.

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Right there waiting for me to get there. And as soon as they get in the car, they're like Abu Where are we going?

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And if I say we're going home to our boo can sleep.

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I mean, they'll just start crying. They've been waiting for me to get there. So then I'll say we're going to the park.

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We're up who will sleep on the bench.

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Right? Why am I telling you this? I'm not telling you my virtues. As a father, I have a lot of improvements. I I need to improve myself a lot. What I'm trying to tell you is in that moment, when I'm sitting at the park like this, staring at a pigeon who is looking back at me,

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right, and I can swear that the pigeon is talking to me. Because I'm so disoriented from a lack of sleep. At that moment, the thought crosses my mind.

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So Hannah law

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How much did my dad do for me?

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And I never said thank you.

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At that moment, it occurs to me. And I'll go and the hard times. There are times when I go to visit my parents. When I go to their house, I walk in

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all I do is apologize to them.

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Like I'll walk in and they'll be like slow and a comb. And I'll say I'm very sorry. They're like, why are you apologizing? I said, I'm not sure why. But I know I have to for something. When you have children, you will understand how much a parent does for their child, how much mothers and fathers do for their kids. So for the youth.

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Just have faith in the fact that your parents do more for you

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than any human being would logically ever do for another human being. The love that parents have for their children is illogical, it is unreasonable. And you will have that love and child love someday for your own children. But don't wait till then to respect them to give them a hug to tell them that you love them, to hug them to thank them. Don't wait till that day because they might not be around that day.

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But go today and tell them that you love them. And thank them for what they do for you. And I'll end with this story that will hopefully help you understand

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what a great gift it is to have parents.

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There's a hadith that is found in this is a heavy my Muslim and a Muslim Imam Hakeem and the Maharaja of Bharani and many other books of Hadith, that when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Some of the scholars say he was on the journey of a BA, some of the Sahaba narrator say that it was on the journey of hedging with that. But in either case, the prophets a lot he said was wrong. He was going to Mecca to perform Hajj in Ramadan.

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And he was traveling from Medina to Makkah and

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they when they reached a place a little bit outside of Medina, the prophets a lot of them stopped everybody that was traveling with him. He said we'll make a stop here. If anybody needs to use the restroom or make will do or pray.

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or whatever. Let's make a stop here.

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Then the prophets, a lot of them asked a couple of companions to come with him because you should never go on your own separate from the group. One of the companions that went with him was unbelievable. Hata radi Allahu anhu.

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And he went a little bit away from where the army the whole group was camped. And he sat down at a spot and they said, none of us knew where this spot was. It's a place called Abuja.

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And none of us recognized it. And he sat down there for some time with his head down, and he started to cry.

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And the Sahaba say,

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he cried more than we have ever seen him cry. He never cried like this in salon. He never cried like this into our he never cried like this when reciting the forearm. He cried more than we have ever seen him cry. One narration says, The Allahu taala knew the process and cried so much. He was physically like sobbing like his shoulders were moving,

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to go and sit and put an arm around him and consoling him.

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And then finally they asked my Yukiko haukadalur rasulillah What makes you cry like this whole messenger of God.

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And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, this is the grave of my mother.

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And I was remembering her.

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He at the age of nearly 60, at the age of 16, the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam, 55 years after she had passed away, he sits at the grave of his mother and he cries like a child.

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That is the gift and the blessing that his family, particularly parents.

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So remember the advice of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam really comprehensive advice, advice. This conference is revival of the oma

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you know reawakening our communities.

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The prophets a lot instead of when he went to Medina tune went over. When he first arrived in the blessing illuminated city of Medina.

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The first thing the first public address that he had to the community, what did he say? He said, Yeah, you know, oh, people of Shu Salaam spread peace. So the general population of your country of your area, spread peace, be a source of peace. Number two, wipe out the animal

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feed food. Look after the people that are downtrodden in your society, serve your community, be of benefit to your society

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or harm.

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Strengthen your family relationships.

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And fourthly, was sun Lubin namely when NASA neon, and pray in the night reconnect with your master, pray in the night while people are asleep? That the whole agenda to be salam, you will enter into the gardens of Paradise. Safe and sound? What does it mean safe and sound? A lot will not put you through misery in this world alone will make this world a sampling of genma Allah will make your grave a garden of paradise. Allah subhanho wa Taala will seat you under the shade of Allah on the Day of Judgment, Yama, La Villa Illa. We knew the day there is no shade other than his shade. You will not have to go through a detour in hell on your way to paradise. Allah subhanaw taala will

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directly enter you through the gates of Paradise without any questioning without any reckoning. May Allah subhanaw taala make us amongst those people who hate on AI thank you very much for your patience. And I pray and I hope Allah subhanaw taala makes the rest of the conference extremely beneficial was Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh