Channel: Yasmin Mogahed
Series: Yasmin Mogahed - Serenity
Assalamu alaikum This is Jasmine Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. We are very excited today because we have a special guest with us today. Dr. Ahmed bin Yun and we will be speaking with Dr. Ahmed Bayonne about the topic of purification of the heart. Dr. Ahmed is widely recognized for his commitment to religious education, especially among the youth as a lecturer for the Muslim American society. And the oak tree Institute. Dr. Bay Yun was born in Beirut, Lebanon, where he received his Bs and Ms from the American University of Beirut. He received his PhD in entomology from the Texas A and M University. He resides in Riverside, California and
works as the quarantine officer at the entomology department of University of California in Riverside. He is currently pursuing a PhD in Islamic Studies at the Graduate theological foundation. He taught al Qaeda and Phyllis Sierra jurisprudence of the prophets biography peace be upon him at the Islamic American University, and has published several audio series on the purification of the heart, Muslim character and other topics. Some of his lectures are also available at a med Bay youtube.com. We are very pleased to have him with us today, a doctor a met
while he comes to America live at a cat. So thank you very much for for coming on the show. And we feel very blessed to have you with us today.
Thank you for inviting me. Dr. Ahmed, I want to begin You know, when we talk about this, this topic of purification of the heart, first of all, why is it important to even discuss this topic?
What is important because that's really what a lot of hantera looks at, first of all, the Quran, Allah, Allah says that, on a day would nothing would help except the one that comes to a loss of Hannah Montana with a sound heart, and is also the authentic hadith, in Muslim, where lots of panels out where the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam said that Allah does not look at your shapes, but looks at your hearts, because the shape is something that he gives you, but the heart to all start from the same points or sequences, etc. So after that, it's really whatever efforts we put in, that's going to show. So that's really the area where all the efforts will be focusing. And that's
where the credits would go. It's not how the person looks, but actually the heart. That's one way and then one, one aspect of it. The other aspect is that the person is more than anything else, his heart or her heart. That's really what you are. That's the way you see the world. That's really the way you feel about everything. So it's the actions that you have, or the way that you live your life reflects what you have inside. So that's why it becomes the most basic thing that anyone actually should take care of. Okay, thank you. And and do you feel like this is something that we have neglected as a community? Or is it something that you think has been satisfied neglected? Well, I
think we do. But we're all guilty of that. I mean, nobody's above that, you know, myself included, of course, you know,
because sometimes we get so involved with the, with the activism with the work that we do, or with life in general. And the easiest part, the part that the part that is easier to forget is the heart. Because basically, you don't see it, it's not something that's screaming in your face instead, of course, something bad happens and then the person will be forced to reconsider. But it is something that we, we neglect, okay. What What do you think, you know, what are some of the things that we'll talk about, obviously, the, the process of purification, but before we get there, what are some things that that you have found or or, you know, through your studies that that negatively affect
the, the state of the of the heart?
One of the things you know, I mean, of course, the way the pace of life, everything goes so fast and
I think being in golf being just preoccupied with everything that's around us and, and I think that's probably the way life is going that you get basically bombarded with how should I say with the, with all the worldly things, the ways of the rich and famous that it's difficult to keep the distance from that, you know, that's and the problem sometimes you know, when the first
To live in an affluent society, and I think that's probably where the problem becomes more important. You get, like I said, absorbed by your own life. The problem is not just getting into the harem, but getting too much of the Hillel so to speak, you know, that it becomes something that owns you instead of you owning it.
It starts good, but it probably ends in the wrong place. Some Hanna line I know you said a statement that I that I personally find very, very fascinating and and that was, you know, that it's not just the HUD home. You know, a lot of times we think that it's just the HUD on things that that affect our hearts. But But you mentioned a really, really interesting point that it's sometimes it's it's within the Hillel things that we also can get lost. Do you mind elaborating on that point? What I mean, it's hard to start with, so you can't say that it's Haram. But the problem is that getting too much into it, that it moves into into the dangerous, just say, for example, somebody who has a
certain hobby, collecting cards, for example. I mean, there's nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong with collecting cards, but that person gets so much into that becomes the focus of his life. And that's really what hardens the heart. When the person gets so much of the, of the legitimate things. That's why he had the concept of Zoho, it becomes important. And Zuma does not mean basically, you know, living like a monk, but being able to keep that distance. You know, the famous statement of the man, Mohammed, but the essence of the person, Visa had been static, meaning living for something higher, while being rich at the same time. And he said, yes, if money is in your hand, another in
your heart, and they had what how do we know that he said, Well, it'd be in your hand, if, if you increase actually involved, it doesn't make you happier, if you lose some of it, it doesn't make you more miserable. And I think the challenge here is to have it in your hand and to keep it in your hand out of your heart. If it's away, it's gone, it's gone. Of course, you know better to have it available and to keep it actually away. That's why
interestingly, one of the richest Sahaba His name is Abdullah.
He said, later on, after the buffet died, he said that a lot, this hit us with hardship. And we persevered, we passed, that when he tested us with abundance, we didn't pass as well. So that's why sometimes, you know, becomes more challenging in that regard. And that's a very interesting point. Because assault, you know, we're very much we have this idea that tests only come in hardships. You know, when we think of hardship, when we think about testing, we think it's one less product that it takes something or when a less product that withholds from us. But but we don't often think of hardships, or we don't often think of tests, in fact, as being sometimes a when we are given an in
the blessings and, you know, could you could you explain a little bit about that, how we are also tested with, with what we have,
what you have nucca set to be able to use it in a possible way. Of course, that's that's the first aspect of it. Because here you have some means available to you. I mean, if somebody doesn't have the means to do the now we're getting into the area of heroin, you know, the person doesn't have the means to the heroin, then it becomes in a way easier. That's why there's a beautiful statement by Lena machete, he says Milan is not the end attack that that is one, it's a way of protecting yourself or way of being protected by not being able to do the harm. But sometimes it is available. And that's where the challenge, you know, becomes when you have that they're available. And then you
have seen that's why this is considered one of the greatest form of fervor actually, is for the person to resist the temptations, you know, suffer in the face of hardship, that's something basically that you have no choice but to accept, you know, something bad happens. That's it, you know, it's just the it's an attitude. But here, this form of Subbu is actually a stand and refusing to do something. So it becomes becomes more difficult. But by the way, this is really how that's how the heart gets purified. That's how the teskey happens is by resisting something, not just by by giving in. I mean, you you grow, you develop by dealing with things that you don't like you don't
grow by developing by doing the things that you like, that goes naturally and smoothly. And that's really interesting. And it gets us into the the topic, you know, that the overall topic of today. And and this is a question that a lot of people then asked, we talked about the importance of the heart and how the heart is what Allah Spano THON is going to look at, and that's what's going to matter. But then, you know, there there's the practical question of how, how do we engage in this purification of our hearts? And how do we sort of empty our hearts of those those other competing forces, you know, with the level of almost panel data? Sure, I think this is this is the sort of
thing and by the way, just to note that the fact that I'm talking about is it doesn't mean I'm beyond that, of course, it's something that we all struggle with, but just sharing, sharing few things. You know, the way to purify the heart, I mean, that way is that we don't, we don't have to reinvent something that's already actually established. And under Google's rules for that is what Allah subhanaw taala mentioned, mentioned so beautifully in thorat Lanka booth where it says when the imager has
Feeling that at the end of the home sabudana those that practice you have for our sake, we will guide them to our way. But the interesting thing is that this verse was a Mackie verse, which means before the fighting was legislated, so that she had that this verse is talking about this Jihad of the self. So the way to attain the guidance is what this struggle would was with oneself, his own weakness, you know, her own insecurities, her own temptations, his own compulsions, that's the way the only way to achieve that guidance is that that's why, based on that verse, say it could have said that guidance can only be the fruit of a struggle. It doesn't happen in any other way. But
feeding by feeding, for example, certain urges, and then you resist, you know, like you said, it's something that we all wish for, you know, how come I don't have this phone, demand my desk, em, I believe my heart. And at the same time, you know, every time I feel like doing something, I do it, I don't resist, you know, then how do we expect it to happen? You know, I feel like looking at Harlem, I look at Harlem, I feel like saying something wrong, I say it and after that I complain, well, how come My heart is not there, when I didn't take away actually, that leads to that. That's why the, to achieve that purification, the person has to resist has to resist certain feelings, you know, I
cannot just get in. And this is one of the benefits of Ramadan, by the way, is by basically, willingly, you know, resisting to satisfy this hunger and thirst that will fill you in the day. And this will do something to your heart.
And it's an interesting way of looking at struggle. Because we usually are sort of, you know, the easy way out is to avoid struggle, but, but it's a completely different way to look at struggle, where, you know, something that you need to struggle against actually can be a blessing, because through that resistance, it It purifies you and strengthens you. And you'll even you know, it's also interesting to note that, in the physical world, we understand this, when when a person wants to tone their body or to strengthen the muscle of the body. What do you do you do resistance training, you actually resist, you have to resist the force in order to to strengthen that muscle, physically
as well. And you have the trap here, the that sometimes we fall into is that we read about it. And we feel that that's it, we have it. Yeah. Is that well, I read about it, I understand it understand the concept. And we feel that we have it. No, that's just only the first step. You know, after that, then comes the training. It's like somebody who reads a book on exercise to use the same example or martial art or, you know, and he feels that when I read the history and send the technique that says, I have it, no, no, that's just the first step. But then after that comes the practice and the training. And that's really what gives you the result that you're seeking. Yeah, absolutely. And,
and, you know, one other, you know, bringing back to the, to an earlier point that you had made about the question of Zoho, then how you can have things but but they're not, but they're in the hand and not in the heart. I think one of the places it gets a little bit more tricky for people is how does that translate to the people in our lives? Because it's easy, I think, to understand it with regards to material things and money and, you know, our fancy cars and that kind of thing, but how does it then translate with with the people that that that we also have in our family and, and those that we love? I'm sorry, I didn't get the question. In terms of, you know, the the idea of
when we love something, or something is held in the heart, you know, for example, money, it's supposed to be in the hand and not in the heart. But you know, I'm referring to, for example, the, you know, when Allah Spano, Tata says, you know, is say, if your father's or your sons and it's it goes ahead and lists many, many relationships, which, like you said, are of the Hillel, our husbands, our wives, our spouses, our children, if any of these are more beloved to you, then then Allah and His messenger and striving and his cause. And I think that this is where there's a big struggle, because it's easier, I think, to detach from money than it is, for example, our children
or, or our spouses, and that competition, that may be there. Sure. And I think we're not required to add that in either. I mean, you have the physical thing, though, that people by the way, but in a way to, to make sure that everything basically falls in the right place, and everyone deserves his own wife, you know, so the people that you mentioned, our parents, our spouses, our family members, you know, they have the rights, they have the rights, and nobody's saying that we have to ignore that, that also Allah subhanaw taala has his rights and also ourselves actually has its rights. So the point here is to be able to achieve the balance and of course, that's that's always you know,
the difficult task.
And, and, and at the end, I think reflecting in our actions, you know, so who is it basically my main concern, to please is it my
Again, my neighbor, my friend, my family members, or is there a loss of Hannah with data? Now, of course, you know, most of the time they go together, they don't have to, you know, can predict one another, but maybe sometimes in life, there will be certain points where you have to choose. And I think here, of course, you know, what these are lots of times that should take over, should be takes the precedence. But again, I think the point here is not basically to leave the people the hospitality to start with. So then, I mean, of course, he loved, you know, his, his wife, his family members, his children, even his uncle who was was not a who was not a Muslim who was defending him.
And the problem is not there, the problem basically, is when that becomes the guiding force in my life, even to the conflict of what Allah Subhana Allah commands me. And yeah, and that's the challenge, I think, um, you know, it's a lot easier to, to not make money, you know, I think it becomes a lot easier at one point, you know, to not make money take over the ones life, you can kind of, you know, sort of separate yourself from from that, but it becomes a lot harder to not, to not make these people be the most beloved thing just because, you know, you get so close, obviously, to your spouse and to your children. So I think that for a lot of people, that becomes their struggle,
and you know, how to not make that compete with the love of Allah subhanaw taala. Of course, that love is there, as you know, we all are, we love our families. And this, and this is something that las panatela has, you know, puts puts blessing in, and this is something obviously, we're told to love our family. But I think a lot of people struggle, you know, in that department, where How do you balance? How do you not make that love sort of takeover, in terms of, you know, just practically and in terms of focus? You know, I think one thing we have to remember is that these things we're talking about old matters of the heart is something continuous. So we will never reach a stage or we
say, for example, okay, today, I have achieved that balance. That's it, I don't have to worry about it for the rest of my life. I've achieved the balance today. Now, you know, but it doesn't mean I'm going to have it tomorrow. So that's why it's always like giving and taking, reminding you know, ourselves, you know, remembering something doing something. So it's a continuous struggle. I think one of the things that helps, you know, what the, you know, what the family members is to remember actually, who gave them to us, you know, there are lots of Hannah was, basically we're all in our in his hand. And, and if anything we should love a lot of hands on and more than one gave me a, you
know, deeply loving mother, Allah subhanho wa Taala gave me a great child. And this is, by the way, part of the thankfulness to Allah subhana wa, tada is not just to recognize the blessing, but to recognize actually, what is this coming from? Yes, absolutely. I have the money. I have the family members. But where did that come from? And it reminds, you know, brings to mind the the Hadith of the prophets, I send them where where he spoke about the matters of a believer are strange. And you know that, could you could you explain how it is that, you know, what, what sets apart the believer in terms of all circumstances, what Yeah, he said that this is a strange thing to the believers that
if he was blessed with something nice, he will be thankful, and it will be good for him. If he was afflicted by any hardship, he will be perseverant. And it would be for his benefit as well, with the loss of Hannah with the attorney said, This only happens to the believer. And I think that probably the first part is probably the easier to understand that if a person actually has a blessing, he would recognize and I think this this, again, to make the association that I have a blessing, you know, this is good. Of course, we're happy with it. But the believer always pairs it up with the source, that it didn't just happen on its own. Of course, it doesn't diminish our happiness with the
blessing Actually, we feel it even better this way. But the person always connected that it came from him, it came from someone, it didn't just happen. It wasn't just a natural result. Some people don't have it. And the other part is when the person is afflicted with a hardship, he will be perseverant. And he will and that will be for him. And here by the way, when the Prophet says you know that, if he's affected by hardship, suffer, he will have to suffer. It doesn't mean not feeling the pain. Many people conflict that that they think that what if I'm feeling the pain and the sadness means I don't have the fiber? No, of course not. The profits of the pain adding salt was to
them when he lost hands that he had one and then when he lost his son or brought him and the other things, but the challenge is not to lose it not to lose his you know, his feelings, his behavior. And that's really what we're talking about on the phone accepting that it did happen. This is it. That's the new reality now, and there are certain things that would help in that regard. But yeah, this is I think this is the the concept is
yes and Zach aloka for sharing that. What we will do now is we will take a short break, and when we return we can take questions and the chat box for Dr. Mad value and inshallah
Assalamu alaikum this is just me Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. We are very pleased today to have Dr. Ahmed bu and speaking about the topic of purification of the heart, we are happy to be able to have these programs for you, you know, you know, one legacy radio as well as infocus News can continue, and we hope to continue to have these types of programs. But in order to do that, we do need your support, we we need. We are a nonprofit organization. And you know, we are driven by your support, we ask you to support the radio station by becoming a member, you can write on top of the player, you can see the the button that says
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friends. You know, take the link and please ask others friends and family to support this this effort. If we don't support these efforts, unfortunately, they cannot continue. As as we mentioned, it is a completely nonprofit project and it's supported by listeners like you. I'm Chawla we will go ahead and take a look at the questions for Dr. amens.
So one person asks, How do I accept that this is the new reality when something has befallen me, does echo heighten, I've benefited much by listening to this channel, all the way from
all the way from Norway. So doctor a med. If you want to go ahead.
One day one thing, it's difficult, by the way, it may take actually a time to do that. But to know that actually it did happen. I mean, nobody can turn the waves back and then go back actually in time. So if let's say for example, somebody lost someone, that's it, he's not going to come back, you know, I can I can object my head out, you know, I can clean I can shower, I can do, he's not coming back. You know, that's, that's the fact. And the person I think has to move beyond that and accept the new reality. And none until we accept the new reality, whatever it is, that we'll be able to actually do to recover. And and this doesn't mean that the pain will be gone, by the way. And
then one point, I would like to emphasize that sometimes very wrongly, you know, when a person for example, feels some pain, because of a big problem that happens to them, what is the first thing that everybody tells them all you have to strengthen your email? Which is bad because, you know, this makes things worse, you know, not only I have the problem now, but now everybody's telling me I have a wiki man. No, it doesn't mean that you know, it doesn't mean that you don't feel the pain. But again, back to what he asked or what the sister asked that basically to accept that whatever happened actually is done. It cannot be it cannot be changed. Now this doesn't mean that we cannot
change what has to be changed by the way. So if a person for example, lost a job, it doesn't mean okay. What our job No, I have to accept it for the rest of my life. No, I lost that particular job. But now I have to move forward into what whatever I have whatever I have today, into making the most out of it. And this this, like I said, will take time.
I think probably, especially if we're talking about a big calamity or big problem in here is to be around other people and not to be by yourself, you know, because sometimes when you're alone, your perspective gets twisted, and you don't even know it. But when you're around other people, you know, they will help you Correct, correct that, as difficult as it is sometimes, you know, but you have to push yourself into into doing that, and then keeping the promise of Hana with either getting the drops or loss of Hana without them.
And by the way, acceptance, especially in the case of the last person,
accepting the reality and moving moving forward, it doesn't mean that you don't care about the deceased anymore, or that you love them less, that I cannot move on with my life, it means that I don't love my mother anymore. Or as much as I should be. No, no, it's not this, this is this is this is the wrong way to look at it. I don't think you know, that deceased person would want you to be stuck in that particular physician, but they would want you to recover. And the sadness will always be there, but the person's life has to continue. Just take a look at a doctor I met and, and, you know, I think that your your response can can benefit a lot of people. And that's exactly what, you
know, we're trying to provide here. And Dr. A med, I actually wanted to ask you, you know, if you can share with us why you believe, you know, that something like this and effort like this, you know, of one legacy and, and in focus. Why Why do you think it's important, you know, to have this type of platform for Muslims? Well, that's the primary like you said, we address the issues that concern so we know, our voice, you know, we speak our it's something that extends our voice. Yeah. And he just asked said that the quarter actually, or the person who wrote from from Sweden. Yeah. So Pamela, that itself actually should definitely something that handler we were able to reach actually
all the way there. And for people to benefit from that. And, and then also would ask, of course, the bonuses to support, but also to share whatever they learned from that, hoping that we don't want just the financial support, but we also want the reward from Allah subhana wa, tada for all of us. Yes, absolutely. And, and, you know, and just like Dr. Ahmed said, you know, this is this is a place where we can address these issues, and we can, you know, have a place in like, you mentioned about the the international community, um, you know, we had the sister from from Norway and Mashallah we have listeners from all over the world, it really is a place where we, you know, we gather this
global family, and it's a place people come and, you know, for example, in the chat box, you'll find that, you know, sometimes people will put in, like, a struggle that they're having. And, and, you know, even before I can get to the the question itself, you know, you have like four or five other people giving the person advice. It's, it's, I think it's, it's, it's a nice place where people can come in and find that support. Sure, yeah. In the next question, asks,
Salim, I'm trying to purify my heart from a sin I've committed twice, I made Toba first time, but fell into it again, how can I begin to despise this as something that desire for it is still there and truly prevent myself from doing it again, I really feel remorse, but I still have those desires. What am I the first thing that I would say is for the person never to give up, even if the person and this is not an encouragement to repeat, but even if the person repeats it 100,000 billion times, I would say, you never give up and you always go back to Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, because Allah Subhana Allah does not close the doors, he never closes the doors. And sometimes the worst, is by
giving giving up, you know, that's it, I'm hopeless, I will never make it I know, I know myself, I will go back to it. This kind of feeling should never actually sets in, because this may be probably your worst sin. Or the worst thing thing that the person actually can do is by by giving up, because those of us who are always open and and sometimes the person may go through that situation, even temporarily the law, this is what I have now, I will try to do better, and help me do better. But that's all I can do now, as a temporary situation. But with that being said, I think there are certain actions that the person should take, first of all, is that prevent decisions before they
happen? You know, sometimes, there are certain steps that would lead into decisions that will be easier to stop and decisions themselves. So for example, if I know every time I'm alone by myself in front of the computer, I will visit those websites, then one of the solutions is to put the computer where everybody else actually is sitting in presence. If I know for example, every time I go with this particular company, we end up in this bar or that one place, then part of the solution will be to change that circle of friendship. So preventing it before it happens, would be would be easier. The other thing is is to do more of that which the person actually is good at. So and the person
that say is is weak when it comes to controlling certain behaviors, but he's really good when it comes to let's say helping others or help
Parents are helping, I would say do more of that which you're good at, hoping that it would help you with the one actually that you still have struggle with. And that's what the prophet Allah who thought was Salaam told us, he said, what they say that has an attempt to follow the bad deed with a good deed which would raise it. So if you do something bad followed an injury with something good. Don't follow something bad with another thing that is bad. Or you feel that what I did something bad. I'm not gonna play anymore. Who am I fooling? What by doing that I'm following the bad with another bad, I should force myself even if I don't feel like it into keeping that connection with
Allah subhanho wa Taala. That's why the spear again is the worst thing. I never want to give away. You know, I don't want to close all those with a loss of China with data, or the thing that will tomorrow I'm going back to it. So I'm not going to repent anymore. No, I will return every day and every single hour
ethic. And I think that having that hope is so crucial. And so many people can benefit from that message. We have some people in the chat box mentioning, you know that how international we really are we have one person saying I'm in New Zealand near Antarctica. So Panama was over there, whatever. Yes. And we have, we have a listener from says I'm in, I'm from Algeria. So someone in Algeria, and Pamela we we we really, we want to continue to have this this, this this place, you know, where we can listen to, you know, experts like Dr. Ahmed, may Allah bless you, you know, and from all over the world. There's another question that says,
what should I do if the person who was part of my family don't forgive even though I have apologized? Should I continue my life?
Should I continue? Just Should I continue my life? I think I think they mean, should I just, you know, give up, because this person is not forgiving them. And even though they're among someone from their family, what have you tried, you know, of course, you know, when it comes to forgiving others or other forgiving us, of course, we have to make amends to them. So I cannot expect for example, somebody to forgive me just like that after I have, let's say slandered them or you know, smeared your image, then part of that, you know, is to make amends to them, whether they recognize it or not. And after that, by the way, leading it to Allah subhana wa Tada. So I tried my best, let's say,
for example, to to apologize to somebody and I did make amends to them that did correct the situation. But they're still refusing that says, I've done what I have to I've done what I what I could, and then after that, it's in the hands of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And some people basically have difficulties letting go and you can basically give them far more than, you know what, what you took away from them, and they will still refuse that that's it's up to them after that. It's their problem. If I were to put it this way, so the person has to try and after that, you move on, you don't get stuck in that position. So panel about what we can do is to change the wrong that we did
into something something positive. You know, Omar Ali could one
day be a traitor he objects to the prophet and is supposed to them of course, eventually he gave in. But basically he did not want to treat it to be signed. And he said that I've never regretted anything in my life as much as I did that but he said for him to resign he cannot and I did a lot of good deeds because of that. So see here how something in a way negative ended up being something completely positive and great. That's why I will say the person has to move on with their life as they put it at the end. And not to be stuck in that not to be stuck in how should I say exaggerating? The Hurt are the things that I did when people move on in their life
the Sahaba were not Muslims all of them actually and then they did not get stuck in that position thing was I did this when I was not a Muslim I did that no, that's it you move on. You just move on the past cannot be changed. It's already done. I did what I could to correct this situation and I move past that to Zack Alok a doctor a med. And we have something that you know, so many people joining us from all over the world again, we have now more people chiming in. One person says I'm on a coal mine from France.
Salim from Malaysia
we have lots of love for the sake of Allah from Belgium. I'm here at Bangladesh. So at hamdulillah we really do have another person from London. So Mashallah, it really is international here. And, and, you know, we again, we want to continue to provide this this international forum. Please do support this effort by becoming a member by clicking on the red button above the player. Share this this you know this appeal to to your friends and your family and like Dr. Ahmed said, We want your support, you know, both financially so we can continue to have this, this this, you know effort in this in this service for you and also share your support by you know, what you're doing now writing
in letting us know where you are and and what you've gained from the
radio station. We have now someone from Pakistan and from India as well Masha Allah. So somebody asks this question. And I think it's a it's really a very good question, which sometimes there's a lot of misunderstanding about. And that has to do with, does does this person have to share their previous sin with their future husband? does one have to tell about a previous sin for future husband?
That's a really good question. And the answer was no, if the person has already actually passed that, I'm already past that, I don't have to say everything. Now, if it is something, for example, that is known about me about my past, in the community, it's already known, but I don't have to share the boring details. And I can keep it hidden, I can keep it hidden. And the reason for that because the person that we're dealing with our future spouse is a human. And so Pamela, sometimes, at a moment of weakness, these memories or that information, actually, they may come back to their head, and it will affect their relationship. So I will say, if the person has done something in
their past, and has already repented from that, let's say, then I would say move past that, and you don't have to even you know, remember it, or even mentioning it to the other, this will not be a cheating thing. Because let's be honest, I mean, each one of us, you know, whether we were like big, huge sinners or normal person, each one of us has system, things that we don't like the others actually to know about. or certain things that maybe we knew at a certain time we're not supposed to be doing. We don't have to put that everywhere. Actually, here the rule, the rule is a set of is the concealment. And even as a person, by the way, knows something about someone, and he's already past
that, that we would consider it for them. So if I know, for example, that this person is getting married to someone, and he's already past that sin, and they asked me about him, I don't have to say that I don't have to give that information to say yes, what he's a good person now. But in the past, he did this. No, I don't have to give that information. If I know that the person actually is already past, past that behavior. She's echolocate, and I think this is also where sometimes there is confusion. What what what would you say in the case? If if there is something to suppose in the same scenario that someone is, is considering another person for marriage, and you know that person?
And you know that they're actually involved in something currently? Is it your responsibility to tell? Or should you be covering that up? No, if I was asked, I would definitely say, if I was asked, I would definitely give the information if they asked me what this brother and I know, he's not good news, I would say, I will not go into the boring details in there. I mean, I will just give enough information for the person who's asking me to make a good decision.
Because there's a fine line between basically being legitimate and that behavior or you know, and backbiting or slandering. So I will give enough information. Now, the question is, what if I was not asked, Would I volunteer that information or not? Here? It depends on who the person is. You know, if it's someone that's really close to me, that would listen to me, I would, I would probably, you know, volunteer some of that information. And by the way, here, the important thing is that I have to only talk about that which I'm certain off. I cannot say, well, but I heard that somebody heard that the neighbor said that my cousin, you know, no, it has to be something that I'm certain of
otherwise I cannot. So if it's, I cannot Well, I expect him to be better. Well, they're not asking you for your judgment. They're asking for information. I would say that which I'm certain off medical, a fake and and and I think this is, again, where the misunderstanding happens. If you did give that information about something that was currently relevant, would that be considered backbiting? No, it's not actually actually out of the amount of the trust, you have to say, because here's somebody coming to me, they're trying to make a major decision. And they're gonna base that decision on the information that I give them. So he I cannot if I don't give them the right
information, I'll be cheating them. I have to be honest with him. But again, if I know that that person actually is already past that particular sin, He I don't bring it up. Oh, don't mention. Okay, does that look at it for clarifying that? Someone asks, sometimes my actions might be influenced by external factors, ie pleasing others, though I am not driven by it, but scared that this intention slash action might be void of it. How can you fix that?
That's a big question.
The issue of fear of showing off or whatnot. By the way, sometimes, this concern of loss of sincerity becomes paralyzing. We have to be concerned about that, we have to be concerned about that. But we don't want to like I said, give it more than it deserves, it is very important and for the action to be accepted, of course, that has to be there. But for any action to be accepted, of course, there are two dimension, the action itself and the the the the internal intention. If I have a problem with the intention, I should not penalize the action itself. Because sometimes people will say, Well, I'm doing it for the sake of the people, so I'm not going to do it.
You know, I should continue doing it. But what can the intention instead? That's something very important. Now, how do we purify that intention? You know, there are different ways. First of all, I think being aware of it, being concerned about it is the first step, that the person has to be concerned about that. The second thing is
to think things to keep in mind. And this is something that will basically bring this humbleness and this sincerity, first of all, is to remember that, whatever you did whatever good deed you did, it's based on what Allah Subhana Allah has given you, if I do something good, it's because Allah gave me the strength to do it, Allah gave me the knowledge to do it. And I gave him the judgment, and then I gave me the guidance to do it. So if I do something that who deserves the credit, it is Allah subhana wa, tada, that's what this this is, the person has to remind himself of that. The second thing to always remind ourselves, that no matter how great what we do is a man deserves better, that
I could be doing the greatest thing in the whole world. But Allah Subhana Allah always deserves better. You know, that's what the prophet, Allah his thought was to them, you know, sort of after the Salah to say what to say or suffer, right? What, Allah I did something good. So I suffer a lot from what, because it did not fit the greatness of Allah subhana wa Tada. So Allah always deserves better. And, and Subhanallah you know, being around other people that are doing, you know, also good deeds this way will be less impressed by our own achievements, when we see other people doing even more than we are. But it is something of course, we have to be concerned with, but we don't want to
be stuck in it. That saying that, you know, that's it, I'm not going to do any good deeds, because now I'm doing it for the people, well continue the action, there's a value to the action itself. Regardless, you know, regardless of what action is, a good actions, there's a value to it, even if the intention is not sound, and by the way, you can never be certain of your intention to say that I know for certain that it is done for the sake of Allah and the intention, by the way, sometimes may fall on a certain it's not a completely an either or, you know, sometimes there could be a certain a certain level of sincerity or, you know, the other way around. Does that go ahead? And this is
again, a common question, you know, the, the struggle between, you know, sincerity and then and then giving up the action and but a call of action. Yes. Does that call Okay, from thank you for that? Answer? And, you know, again, we have a lot of people from all over the world joining us today, you know, on this topic and, and hamdulillah we are able to continue that, that service, please continue to support this effort. It's, it's, you know, one legacy radio is totally listener driven and listener supported, please become a member and share, you know, this, this, this, this effort with others, you know, share this, this noble cause, inshallah, you know, someone Someone asks, in the
chat box, I have a quote, I have a problem is that I had a conflict with someone and a kind of misunderstanding, made this person understand something wrong about me, and this is hurting me, and I can't forget this abuse, and wish this person knows the truth.
And the truth, you know, I mean, I would, I would clarify myself. And this is something that it's good to do. You know, once the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam was working with his wife, Sophia, like, at the end of the night after a long, happy guess. And he passed by certain men. And after he passed, he went back to them, and he said, Hey, this is my wife, Sophia. And so you will not go wide in your, in your doubt.
That you know, you're the Prophet, how could we doubt you? And he said, I don't want you to doubt me basically, and suffer because of that.
And I think I think sometimes, we have to clarify ourselves, either directly or sometimes writing an email writing a message as to clarify what what you know, what our position is, or why we did something or Why Did something happen?
Now, you will always find By the way, at the end, after you try your best that there will be some people who will always be negative, you know, no matter what you do, they will explain it in a negative way. I will say don't get stuck in there. You know, I mean, people despite everything, they criticize the Prophet, Allah his thought was to them, they doubted them. And of course, it's on the bad people suffer and the Manasa clean. So they might always be someone like that, you know, no matter how much you try, you know that you can't help it. That's their problem. It's not your problem. whatever they're saying or whatever they are actually thinking. That's, that's not you.
That's not you. It has nothing to do with you. Sometimes it's their own problem.
Just echolocate a doctor a med. We have hamdulillah now also someone joining us from Melbourne, Melbourne, Australia. Mashallah. And I guess
Yeah, and I think some people are already breaking their faster or getting close Mashallah, please make the offer us and for the success of the of the radio station, we are
Actually we have a goal of trying to get 75 new members inshallah today and raising $5,000 we need to. So we need your eyes We need your support, you know the radio station is is you know dependent on on your on your support inshallah so go ahead and share with your family members and your friends and become a member in sha Allah. We we hope to continue this effort someone asks
the asset so so people so someone who does echolocate for that it was playing on my mind for a while Subhanallah so continue with the good as there is goodness in the act itself. Someone else asks this question, how can one get rid of sinful thoughts from the past when one has given up on wrong things and repented?
What am I this is? You said it's the past so that's it. It's not Yeah, if unless the panel to Allah forgives, then why would I hold that against myself? You know, once the person who attends the buffet did adding salt was to them say at tober two digit boom, a couple at the top actually raises what comes before. So if it's already past, then I should not get stuck in there. Yeah, let me ask you example, for example, you know, before Islam overpopulated when the left dollar used to torture some of the Muslims, herdsmen, Waleed actually killed many Muslims in the Battle of God, before Islam, right? I mean, they did not get stuck in there and to say this is it, but look at the great
achievements that they actually were able to accomplish. After that, that's that that's why the past is gone. And I think it's really important, even if it's not that far past, that these sins do not define who we are. They're not who we are. There are certain things that we did, and we passed that so we don't want to basically remain or be imprisoned by by the past or by the things. That's what the prophet Allah his thought was set up said that one of you should not say, you know that when you fell together, like Annika the worker died, if I did this, it would be this and that, but the Prophet said, you should rather say, Cobra mahoma shall, there are lots of hands Allah decreed, and
whatever he will did happen. And the Prophet alayhi salatu. Salam did say that know that whatever had happened, could not have been missed. That's it. It's done already. And this is not to say that is fatalistic, that everything actually is out without our control. No, but it did happen. Whatever, actually, his past is gone. And, you know, one trap in here, by the way, would say that, well, I shouldn't have done that, or something that I did. 10 years ago, I shouldn't have done that I should have made better choices. I cannot revisit those past decisions with the knowledge that I have today. At that time, that's what I could do. Today, I would do it better. But that decision happened
10 years ago, I cannot we visited that decision. With the knowledge and the experience that I have today. That's what the past is already gone, is already gone. And the if a person gets stuck in there, you know, again, he will be the first one to suffer because of that. But Allah Himself does not hold it against us. It's already done. It's done. It could have been done there. That's it. It's already done. Just like last year, you know, this is a lot of times this becomes a barrier for for many people and but a couple of feet for shedding light on that and how to break out of that. Before we end the show. Dr. Ahmed, do you have any final you know, words of advice or or inspiration for
for all of us who are seeking this path of purification of the heart? Well, it's a path that continues with us for the rest of our life. And that's really what the difference is. That's why I think it was
Mubarak, I think or Hassan Busey, I forgot, that says that Abu Bakr Siddiq was not ahead of you by the amount of prayer or fasting but by actually what's in his heart. So that's the difference. And this is something that we should not neglect, because that's really what we'll be faced with. That's really what what we live with is our heart. But the path, the path actually to the purification is that of a struggle, a struggle actually with our inner, you know, our inner self with our weakness with our temptations, and it continues it continues It doesn't mean that well that's a that's a gloomy way that it's gonna get you know, sometimes the struggle itself actually becomes something of
an enjoyable nature, that I've done something you know, I could I could achieve something and not to continuously putting ourselves down but to you know, give ourselves the credit for doing something good. This does not conflict with the loss, you know, and Allah subhanaw taala did say when Medina Medina became, you know, that in a way recognize the blessings of Allah subhanho wa Taala and then keep in mind, you know, that you always need Allah subhanaw taala in that regard, you know, every task without the support of Allah is impossible. So when you feel that are lost, the panel data is on your side, you know, it makes it easier to drive to Allah subhana wa Tada. And I would say even
with only a couple of days left of the month of Ramadan, I would say intensified. You know, the prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam told us that
person who works as fast as a doula that will be accepted. You know the moment that you break your fast it's like a coupon here. If you don't use it, it expires right away. Before you eat, take a moment and make lots and lots of time for yourself, you know for other Muslims and for your family. And Allah subhanaw taala will answer is that a doctor a med we are very blessed to have had you on the show today and we want to thank you for taking the time to share your your knowledge with us just echolocate we pray that that you have you know blessed ending of this beautiful month and that all of you the last panel that accepts from all of us are fast and RPMs and miniata hooting holy has
stuck for a lot he will come in order for him
to the one that Allah Highlands
Lake wa Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh