Channel: Yasir Qadhi
Perhaps the main question that the next generation is struggling with is why does Islam hold such a strict sense from their perspective? Why is it How long? Why would law criminalize something that might be natural? Or what's the big deal with two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom? And this question has raised doubts in the minds of our next generation to the point that they're considering Islam to be an invalid religion based upon instance, on LGBT. So I want to take a step back. And I want to ask a more philosophical question. What is the purpose of pleasure?
Why do we enjoy certain things over others? And what is the role of pleasure in our daily life? Well, if we look at it, pleasure, whether it is the pleasure of the sensuality, or the pleasure of food and drink, or the pleasure of spending money on us, for whatever, pleasure allows us to live our lives in a comfortable manner, we found a lot that we enjoy eating and drinking, there's a pleasure associated with that. We think a lot that intimacy is pleasurable, because if it weren't, maybe procreation would not be, you know, that's important to him, some of amongst mankind. So if you look at it, a lot has granted us pleasure in various fields to make our life easier for us. Now,
in any field, we understand that too much pleasure, or to go satisfy our desires unconditionally is harmful. This is something we understand. in every field. The most obvious one is not a food and drink. The most obvious one is that a food and drink we enjoy certain foods I enjoy was my favorite food, guys. A lot of you know,
ice cream. It's my favorite ice cream. It comes there as well, but ice cream. I love ice cream. Now, a lot of us love sweets. Will anybody say that we should base our food based upon what we enjoy eating? Think about the question, I'm asking you the purpose of pleasure, and how we decide and give value to something. If I enjoy sweets over protein? Should I just consume sweets all day? If your child were to ask you, I don't want to eat the broccoli. I don't want to eat even the protein chicken. I want to eat just cake and ice cream all day long. You as a parent will say no, I'm sorry, that's not you have to yes is fine to have ice cream at the end in proper quantities. No problem.
You know, given the context of what we're doing, you have the protein you have the peas, you have the broccoli and then you have a little bit of ice cream or a little bit of cake. My point is we under same thing goes for spending money. If a husband and father you know spent all those money on gambling say, Oh, I enjoy gambling. Well, how about rent? How about your children's education? We would say you are foolish. You cannot just spend based upon pleasure. Why when it comes to sexuality? Do we understand the same thing? Why do we just want to have a free for all you see there's two different paradigms the modern world that we live in, it is something called a
hedonistic world where Carpe Diem YOLO you live only once, go ahead and do it. The philosophy of the modern world we live in is a philosophy of hedonism just satisfy the sensual desires. And based on that philosophy, if a person wants to engage in multiple intercourse engage in pre marriage of extra marital as long as it's consenting Go for it, but they do not apply the same philosophy of free for all when it comes to the food that they take when it comes to what they spend their money on. When it comes to the other pleasures of the body and the soul. They understand that no even pleasures come in proportional packages, there are things that you should not do recognize that you should not
cross with that introduction, we then get to who decides what those red lines are? Who decides what is good pleasure, and what is black, that pleasure, who decides which is added along? And we get back to the initial question that I did downstairs, which is we need that higher power to tell us what good and bad is. And of course when it comes to sexuality. Studies after studies have done that there's a really good book out when I was in called casual sex. I forgot what is the hookup culture. I forgot there was a really best selling book. I just read it last year, and it's a modern researcher who has demonstrated the negative impacts of the hookup culture. What is the hookup
culture for adults in the audience who don't know what the hookup culture is the hookup
Culture is the free for all sexuality. Just anybody has sex with everybody, you know the the rate of intercourse in high schools and colleges 70% 70 75%. In high schools and in colleges. It's it's something that is shocking. What our generation does not know is that this is a modern statistic. Even one generation ago in the 60s, one generation ago, the average middle class American family, the average middle class, male and female waited until marriage to engage in intercourse. All of this free for all is one generation old. We are seeing the repercussions of all of this right now. We're seeing the impact in the stability of the family in the raising of the children in divorce
rates skyrocketing, so opening up the door to like sensuousness opening, and it's not just LGBT is another major issue with pornography. We're seeing for the first time the impacts of pornography on a society and culture. The mainstreaming of that, which is taboo is opening up weird fetishes, bizarre kinky desires, that is harmful. According to almost all people of intelligence, we see the realities and repercussions of just having a free for all. And still, we do not understand the wisdom of the Sharia. Sex is a blessing from Allah when it's done properly. When the enjoyment is between husband and wife, it is a blessing from a law, our Prophet system said it's an act of
worship. Why? Because it's a blessing that Allah has given to preserve the family to build the bonds between two people that will raise the next generation, they're going to care for one another because the average human being needs a mother and father in their life. And again, survey after survey has shown that's one of the main factors for the mental and physical well being of an innocent child is a stable family structure. Now, again, these are deep topics. I'm not saying single family, parents are always doing i'm not saying that. But I'm saying the default is what the norm is what having a stable family impacts the next generation, having a loving father and mother
in the household brings about lower crime rates, you know, higher in cases of mental and intellectual maturity, you know, growing up to understand that there's responsibilities in his generation having a role model mother, a role model, Father, this does have an impact on the sanctity of a child. Now, my point is, this is the rational defense of the normal traditional understanding of marriage. However, when it comes to these rational defenses, you can always poke holes, you can always find exceptional scenarios. And I understand this. And I know the back and forth between the intrusion of traditional marriage folks, mostly Christian and Muslim community,
and between the modern LGBT and I do admit, if you remove God, from the picture, you remove morality from the picture for every why you would say why not for every advocacy for every because you can. So once you remove morality, and God from the picture, it is a free for all, which is why even though a rational argument can be made for normal, traditional understandings of marriage, I say, that needs even faith to fully believe if you don't have faith, it becomes a free for all. And when you don't have think all I can argue for is where do you draw the line? Will you consider yourself to be rational bestiality, pedophilia, where will you draw the line, there is no line to be drawn,
once you remove God from the picture. So with a lot of soldiers in the picture, then there has to be a sense of severity now while we hear and we obey. So we hear it all day, and a lot of xojo has clearly told us what is right and wrong. So before I move on, can you make a rational argument against same sex sexuality? My answer is, and I'm sorry to disappoint the elders is a feeble Yes, yes, but you can, but and that you can, because there are enough surveys and statistics to show plenty of evidence, but still, if you wanted to, you could dismiss it all. And you can say, Well, you know, if this is an ad that is done, then this is why would it be morally wrong to have the same
sex and I understand that paradigm which is why I say the water you know, proof case really you have to bring in Allah His Messenger, you have to say the validity of Islam is not decided based upon sexuality and its laws is decided based upon the Quran based upon the law based upon the bigger questions once you know Islam to be true. It comes with a package deal, whether you understand it or not, Allah says in the form on alcohol has some benefit. He's not negating the law says in the format woman.
Alcohol is beneficial. It's in the Quran. Allah says what? But the sin of alcohol the harms of alcohol is more than the benefit. How can our limited minds grasp this when we're the ones enjoying alcohol? We're the ones
As a humanity getting from where the politician How can we decide we need a lot to tell us alcohol is not good. Same goes for sexuality, who will tell us what sexuality is healthy, what sexuality isn't? Who will tell us where the line is to be drawn? If you open this door, then I challenge you, who is going to close it? Where will that red line be drawn? on? What basis? Is incest going to be made immoral and illegal, which is why many theologians many philosophers who don't believe in God are saying, Okay, I guess consenting brothers and sisters, consenting adults, fathers and daughters,
you know, should be legal for them. And from their paradigm, how can you deny that so you can use the floodgates argument is called like, what if you allow it in the end of the day, Allah subhana wa, tada has very clearly told us, this type of expression of sexuality is not conducive to society. And the same goes to pre marriage and an extra marriage. It's not just the LGBT, it's also any sexuality outside the bounds of marriage, for our tradition, that intimacy that comes the feelings that come, the yearning, the pleasure that comes, it comes along with protection and care, we do not want to throw that pleasure away into a one night stand that's not valuable, you're wasting that
pleasure that pleasure brings about an emotion that emotion is meant to keep the family stable, if you just throw it away and have one night stand after one night stand, even in the you know, opposite genders, male woman, you are destroying what that pleasure is meant, and that is to stabilize families, how much more so when that pleasure is not going to bring about the stabilization of families? The bottom line?
Yes, you can make a rational argument but I feel that it's not something that if you don't believe in God, you will fully believe so we have to bring in the moral argument from religion, then we get to the second point. Okay, but is it fair? Even if you believe in Islam, you say, okay, the story of growth is very explicit that a lot of us have made this change to be evil, but how Why is it fair? How is it fair and the response to this is, once again, we say, now you can live with love and
love will never place a burden on a soul more than that soul is capable of bearing. So any burden that the person has any struggle, any desires, whatever existence, a lot will not place more than that person is physically emotionally capable of dealing with. Therefore, we say, any desire that we have, without exception, any desire, whether it is permissible or not, Allah has given us the tools to deal with that desire internally. If it is permissible, then we channel it to that which is permissible. So the desire for food and drink, there's plenty of other options, avoid to have options, the desire of recreation, plenty of options, go and have fun and play sports. But gambling,
no, that is how long that recreation is. The desire of intimacy and sex had options are there and how options so for every urge of mankind, there's something that is held up that can be expressed, and there's other than just how long you will find enough in the HELOC. Now what if somebody says, oh, but I was born this way, I was created this way. This is beyond my control. The response to this, listen to me carefully. nature versus nurture. Firstly, from a purely scientific perspective, the jury is out on this. Even though the latest survey as we all know, it went viral last week, the latest survey it appears to be more nurture than nature, ie, people are not born predisposed to this
or that rather, circumstances occur in their lives that just subconsciously alter them because of their own experiences, upbringing and whatnot. And by the way, I have had, this is anecdotal don't say this is scientific survey. Me personally, I have had dozens of people come to me because of who I am could find in the email me dozens of people. And again, don't misquote me, I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm not a shrink. I'm not anecdotally, everyone who came to me with an issue of same sex desire or attraction. It was self evident, something happened to them as a young person that influenced this, whether they were molested, whether they were raped, whether there was a missing
Father Finger, overbearing Mother Finger, whatever, it was just 20 minutes of conversation. And I'm just being generic. This is anecdotal, please don't say the scientific method. I'm just talking about me, myself and I, what I have experienced and also, by the way with the latest survey has shown if you read the latest survey, but all that is irrelevant to the next point, whether it's nature or nurture, whether a person is born with it or not.
A lot of surgeon has made acting upon certain impulses.
So even if a person is born with it, that person must control the impulse and they are not sinful for having the impulse and I have said this many times please
Don't misquote me, being very careful of my wording is to feel an attraction for the same gender is not sinful.
You are no lesser of a Muslim. If you're attracted to the same gender, you're not sinful in the eyes of a law for a natural attraction of the heart, you are not sinful for an emotion, you're not sinful for the persuasion you happen to be in, do not feel that you're any lesser of a person in the eyes of Allah because of your inclinations. So can a Muslim be oriented to be same sex, homosexual or lesbian, we say a Muslim who is struggling with same sex attractions is no lesser of the Muslim than a Muslim who's suffering who's not was who's struggling with the opposite sex attractions. The desire is not sinful. I'm in regular normal male, if I find a beautiful female, attractive and a
FinTech, to me, it's my job to lower my gaze, it's my job to control that desire. It's not my responsibility, oh, well, I can't help it, I find her attractive, I'm going to go into whatever I know, if I find her attractive, I'm not simple. If I act upon the attraction, then I assume you understand this point here, finding somebody attractive finding somebody to be, you know, wanting or desiring her. That's something that is beyond the control of a human being, but to act upon that to flirt, to go and do this and that and then this is where the student groups. So if a person has the attraction to the same gender, and they're struggling with that attraction, they are no lesser of a
Muslim. In fact, maybe in all likelihood, they are better Muslims, if they counteract that desire and control that desire for this kind of a job. So to be a lesbian or a homosexual, any inclination is not wrong, please don't misquote me inclination, it is not wrong. To act upon it is a sin, just like acting upon opposite desires outside of marriage is a sin.
Technically is like the worst of a sin, but it is in the same category of sin, which is rubbish. It is that category of simple partnership. So a lady or a man who is engaging in the action of intimacy with another lady, or in the case of man, another man, this is a sin in the eyes of Allah, it doesn't make them counterfeit or whatever. And like every sin alized origin is forgiving to the one who chooses to control Allah is afforded Rahim for the one who is the one for the one who convinced no button and returns to a lot. Therefore, if you know of a Muslim who is engaged in a sin, whether it's this one or any other sin, your job is to cover that sin don't publicize it, your job is to go
to that person in private, if you're close to that person, if you know somebody's taking drugs, are you going to go and put it on Facebook as well, so and so taking drugs know if you know, somebody's going to the you know, a bar and drinking, if you're gonna say, hey, yesterday, I went, you know, when I saw that guy entering the bar over there, none of your business, our profits of a logarithm said, Whoever covers that also, this was the brother of a local cover is also judgment. They, if you know, a person engaged in this sin, you are allowed to go to them directly and speak to them. But you're not allowed to expose their sin to other people that's between them and a lot of junk. And if
you want to speak to them directly speak gently like that people have looked at that, as people look at how Luther dressed as people, Luther was living in a society where the sin became the normal. Did he go around with a scowl on his face? saying, Oh, is it benign? You generally make people spitting in their direction? What did you do that? or What did he say? Or Indeed,
he said, people this action that you're doing, I don't like it. You see, when you address the person, you don't say
you have the type of what type of psychology is that? You don't say you are
speaking to the people, and he says this action of yours in the middle body, this action that you are doing, I don't like it. When you're feeling down what you do not give that a walk by making the very people you're giving that away to feel less human. They're equally human, even if they're committing us and even if the citizen creeps in, you do not see human eyes them by descent that they're doing. you separate the sin from the sinner and you talk about the sin and not the sinner and you say this sin is an evil sin. We don't agree with this sin. Don't bring the sinner in and make the sinner view lesser human because the goal is what did you humanize? No, no, the goal is to
make him think that is this good or not? So even if you know a Muslim who's engaged in this, your job is to cover the sin and go to them directly. speak to them directly and say brother, sister,
You know, is this the case? If it is, you know, should I give me something I can do what not. And also, I have to say this brothers, and again because I, people come to me, they email me whatnot. I mean, these are stories I know from the reality of multiple times this has happened and they've emailed me, a brother or a sister is struggling with same sex desires, they're struggling. And they feel trapped, because there's nobody to talk to, they want to talk to somebody they want to help. And the brother will go to a best friend and say,
I need help. I'm struggling with this. And instead of the best friend helping, instead of confining and helping and affirming, the person becomes angry, disgusted, don't talk to me anymore. Don't come to me again. One case, I had a roommate, confided in a roommate that he felt Finally, this is a Muslim that I can confide in, I need help. And then we'll make cancel the contract and find another place to live. Can you imagine how this person is going to feel like you've come for help you're not coming. He's not coming to Florida is coming for our he's saying my parents don't know my mom doesn't know I need your help. And he comes confiding in you or she will come confided in a friend,
and instead you become disgusted. And I don't understand why every one of us if your friend came and told you anything, you would want to help if he came and told you about drug problems, an alcohol problem or gambling problem, what would you do? You would feel a genuine sense of sympathy, oh, I will help you will do something. Why is it dear Muslims? Why is it when they come with this problem? You feel a sense of dehumanization? No, they're coming for help. So do what you can to help them They're coming for validation, not of the action, that there's still Muslims. They want to be within the community, and I will build up ostracization, the word spreads, you shouldn't be coming to the
masjid, it's none of your business will come to the masjid. As long as they don't cause problems and other people, we will accept the worst sinner, the drug, the addict, whatever, we will accept anybody to come and bring to a close friend of winter, I got a lot of did not to point us to monitor the people coming to repent to him, we don't do that. So even the one who commits the sin remains a Muslim, that means they have the rights of Islam over you. That means you will still say Salaam to them, you will still make your offer them, give them data directly and not embarrass them in public as you would with any other center. Now, where do we draw the line? For me, the line is very clear,
when the person attempts to justify or preach to others. This is where we say, Now Brother, you are not keeping it private.
Now, if you comment, you want to tell our community to do this. Just like if somebody wanted to sell alcohol on our premises. No, I'm sorry. It's legal upside over there, the parking lot, go to the other side of the street, do whatever you want, I can't do anything. But this is our zone. This is our rituals, our Avila, our morality. You come and you trade your own quote, we will not ask. But you come and you preach something contrary to our religion, you sell drugs to our kids, even if marijuana might be illegal oxide is not allowed in our parking lot in our schools, we will ban so to if somebody wants to justify, if somebody wants to preach to others, we say no, this is not
something we will tolerate in our massages. You want to do something in this country, you open your own temples, you can call it whatever you want. You have your own, you know, things that you do that's between you and the government. We will not call it a mosque you can call whatever you want. it's legal. it's legal. This is a free world free country. You want to open your temple of worship, you want to have an LGBT you know, and there are in America, you know, three, I think three massages like this, okay, that's legal, do whatever you want. But do not do this on our property. Because this is an embodiment of our religion, we will preach our religion will preach our morality, as long
as you want to confine it to this morality publicly, then you are welcome to come here. So the bottom line, when it comes to the LGBT within Islam, coming to outsiders, within Islam, we say those that are struggling with it without acting upon it, this is the essence of jihad. This is the essence of jihad, and we admire them and we encourage them in this in this personal jihad, keep on struggling with this and inshallah, in that struggle, there is your agenda. And we say that just like certain desires are not helpful. The desire to steal the desire to rape, the desire to kill, sometimes we get to kill somebody who say you have to control that it doesn't work. You can't just
go and express your desire. And there are people that have urges to take alcohol we say look, you cannot act on that urge.
There are people that have disgusting perversion, that will be too explicit mention you can imagine there are disgusting perversions they are that the government considers, thankfully to be still illegal, right? And so we say to these people, as well. What are you going to do when you desire something
That's just not ethically morally permissible to the standards of our time, because you have to control that desire. So to we say to the LGBT community as well, Well, technically the LGBT community has come to another question maybe for that one as a separate, they're lumped together. But I'm not talking about the trends and the by right, and I'm talking about the the same sex desires. So that's within the community acting upon it as a sin justifying it might technically be to say, I don't care what the law says, to say it is hell and
you are actually
bordering on to challenge along this message. That's where we draw the line now, as for outside of our community. How do we treat people that are of this persuasion? Honestly, I don't see this to be that complicated. As our religion says, There is no sin worse than should. How do we treat people committing should around us? If they treat us nice, we treat them nice, we smile, we're nice to them. We're calling Do you mistreat people treating a condition in your office place? Do you scour their faces do refuse to shake their hands. I mean, this is a sin. And shear is a bigger sin. And we learn to deal with people who are committing [???], they think in a civil matter with them. So this
is also a sin. And we can deal with the people involved in this in a civil manner. We don't have to endorse their lifestyle, we treat them like we treat everybody else around us, we can smile, yes, we can shake their hands, we can be nice to them. But if they invite us to their wedding,
we don't have to attend. There's a line that we draw, if they want us to join their rally for their civil rights. This is a deeper topic. And my position has been very clear from the beginning since the Supreme Court about this. Muslims, we don't have to get involved in every political issue of this land. And I personally have against endorsing LGBT rights, unconditionally. Sometimes it's better to be quiet. We don't necessarily have to speak against them politically, but we must morally preach the truth. If we don't preach the moral truth, then we have failed in the religion of a loss obligation on us data or no show her data than us. If we do not say that. We believe sexuality is
something that is a blessing between marriage and development, not a blessing outside of marriage, we have to preach this to the people, we can tone the words down, we can preach in a wise manner, but preach we must. Because our goal in this life is to preach the religion of a law into Odisha whether or not whether they agree or disagree. In
one case, we cannot change this truth that intimacy and sexuality is something that is a blessing when it is done properly. And it is potentially a curse when it is not done properly. And you don't have to only mention this, you can also mention others lgma extra matter others anything in this should not be done. The point being the issue of politics and LGBT does become complicated. In a more technical sense. So much can be said there is a spectrum of permissible opinions on the theological perspective, those who want to rally against it. I see where they're coming from. And I understand it. Those that are technically saying I will support the political right, but not the
This is problematic insofar as it's very nuanced, and very few people will understand and you're sending a mixed message to your own kids. Do you really think your children understand? I don't support you morally, but I support you politically. But still, those who do so I can't say that they are sinful in the eyes of Allah, they might be unwise, they might be doing something foolish in the long run. But morally speaking, they haven't crossed the Red Line. In my eyes. It's my opinion, my HDL, that those who say the American government has no business dictating morality, and therefore, I will say the American government should have nothing to do with who gets married and what not. I
personally believe this is a dangerous position, because you send a double message to our community, that community thinks you're endorsing them in that community feels you're coming on board with them, but then you speak to some there's no I'm not actually just, you know, politically, and there are children as well. And the example I've given is the 21st amendment which prohibited which repeal the 19th amendment alcohol, right. Imagine 100 years ago that there was a debate going on, should alcohol be legal or not? Because that's what happened 100 years ago, literally 100 years ago, there was a debate in America should we make alcohol illegal or not? Because it was bad. You all know
this, right? It was not for three years, it was completely illegal to purchase.
Before the jail, the prohibition era. Now a movement began. There were protests in the streets.
There were protests in the streets there was marching in Washington DC to make alcohol legal.
Do you think Muslims should have participated in those protests at the forefront? Yes, make alcohol illegal. The government has no right telling us what we should drink do you think would make any sense? yet for some reason, some Muslims think they should do that for the LGBT community. My position is that's not wiser stated. But I still trying to be technical and say, I don't think they've crossed a theological red line. As long as they say Islam does not allow this. They're being somewhat hypocritical. But say, Let that be my personal position is you don't have to participate. That's what I'm neither for nor against politically, let them do what they're doing. And morally
we're creatures of habit preaching and
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