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Why Are Young Muslims So Unhappy?

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Yaser Birjas

Channel: Yaser Birjas

Episode Notes

Why are young Muslims so unhappy today, and how can they be happy again with all that’s going on in the world? Shaykh Yaser Birjas explains.

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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$100 Bill alameen wa sallahu wa salam Baraka novena Muhammad Ali was salam, ala Sleeman, kathira. Ahmad. How can we as Muslims survived the hardships of our time, it's as simple as that. Whenever you look around, whenever you check the news, there is something depressing that happens. And everything is always geared towards Muslims. Muslims just being a Muslim by itself is, it's a big challenge this day, at a generation, a time a culture that praises the body culture, it praises, materialism, praise, of course, liberal values, and so forth. All of this thing is, by itself is a huge pressure on you being a Muslim. Now living this in the American context, as we see today in the

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news, what's going on in Iraq, in Syria, with Islamophobia, and so on, it's even much more getting even harder and harder on us, especially for the young ones, the hopeful ones, those who would like to start off their life in sha Allah with the best in the best way, the best discourse is prepared for them. How can we? How can we survive the hardship of our times? How can I live as Muslims in this society, without having to look behind my back over my shoulder? without having to worry about what I say? And what I do? How can I even enjoy my data as Muslims? I don't have to have a clash of identity or culture, being a Muslim and big American? How can I do this? Now, why do we even have

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this kind of increase of dissatisfaction with life with life, even though we almost have all supposedly we have everything, especially in the Muslim community, in the Americans, the Muslim Muslim Americans are critical of the most affluent, perhaps minorities in America, and some of the richest most wealthiest people in the world, we are lucky to be part of the one or 2% of the most affluent people in the world. However, you see that the quality of life is not as great as it's as it should be. And we have so much dissatisfaction among the Muslim community, particularly the young ones. So parents, Mashallah May Allah bless them, those who migrated from different countries, or

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maybe they weren't born over here as a second generation, or even the converted. So these now they did everything possible to prepare the next the next episode of the life of their children for them. So they don't want them to worry about school. They don't want to worry about about marriage, they don't want him to worry about anything in their life. So they prepared everything for them, smaller thinking that is going to bring a quality of life. But there is a huge increase of dissatisfaction in the life of the young ones. As a result, they have this kind of clash, or an emotional clash between who they are and what they want in this life, they will not train to even to think for

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themselves, because their parents are thought about everything for them. So for that reason, they don't even know what they want to live anymore. We have, we are raising a generation of frustrated and angry young men and women are into that dilemma and marriages.

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When we tell them that marriage is important for you, it's half of your dean, and you have to do this not to fall into the harem, and so on. And then we put all these obstacles on the way for them to deal with the Halloween.

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And now we make it even harder and harder when it becomes cultural, which is defined what they grow up to become American Muslims. So some more more pressure, and I was falling on these young men and women, they're supposed to have it all. But they're not happy what they have, there is very dissatisfied. And the dissatisfaction as much as we try to convince them to enjoy life. They're not enjoying it anymore. So part of one of the reasons I will share with you that

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many of these young men and women today, as we have seen on the news, and we read on also on the internet, they have tried to take shortcuts to gender.

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They want to take shortcuts to gender. They want to quit life. Some of them want to go to Syria to fight, some of them want to go to Iraq, some they want to do other things, and so on thinking that this is a smart thing to do. And they defy now defy the authority of the leaders of the Imams of the Obama of their scholars, because they think that they know better. They're building out their way. They can't stand the harshness of life. So they want to take shortcuts. How can we make sure that these young men and women they grew up in Charlotte in a southern environment and what can we do about this but I want to first First of all, I would like to understand the reason why we're going

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through this now, feeling of dissatisfaction.

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dissatisfaction in our lives. Number one,

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the center of life moved from the human being into materialism and things like in our life today. If you look at what

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Exactly your value your self worth is what you have, not who you are. Some people that work around the most expensive value they have is the clothes on their body.

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borders represent as human beings, absolutely nothing the way behind.

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So we move in right now that concept of value from the human being, to materialism to things. And as a result, if you don't have it, then you don't, then you have there is no value for you in this life. Many of these young men and women, they would like to have all these things that you tell them that they have value. And as a result, they are not satisfied. Whatever they achieve, it's not sufficient. And by the way, just to give parents a kind of perspective on things. So some children, they grew up in the household, and they want to become imams. You see, I come from Dallas, that was a handler, well known right now for having many of these National Speakers live in the same city, we

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have a billion Institute, you have Calum Institute, so many people, they migrate from other states to come to Dallas. So they can study Arabic language, Islamic Studies, and so on. They have all these exams and shoes and so on. But then you have many of these people, they come and they have they defied their parents and come into the city. So why? Well, I would like to study Arabic language, but my parents want me to go overseas to study so on, so to speak to the Caribbean to become a doctor. So the huge challenge right now, the value, the value, the standard value is shifting and changing. And even some other some other students, they come to Dallas to study Arabic

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language, Islamic says for another year and column Institute. Why is that? Because they've already achieved what their parents want them to do, like finishing their bachelor's degree, or medical degree, being an engineer, a graduate of such and such school. And now at 2526, young, younger or older, they want to take one or two years off to study Islamic Studies. Why is that?

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Because they're not satisfied with what they have achieved already. They've done it for other people, they want something valuable for themselves, we are removing the value the value from what our children want, and what they would value in this world. And we are dictating what is most valuable to them. The second thing,

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many of our younger children today, they lack the basic training of surviving in this life. What I mean by basic training, take the example of marriage example marriage. In the case of marriage, let's go to education first, when it comes to education, I mean, we assume I don't know how many of you have seen this picture these images, when they show your students going to different schools around different parts of the world. Some kids, some kids who are in elementary level, they cross rivers, they cross mountains, they're right on the back of cows and bulls and camels and whatever, just to go and study. Have you seen these pictures, and you admire them for that, like, wow, this

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was spending in the air Cipolla and just you know, if that bridge is cut off, they're done. But they still go everyday to go and study. So these kids, these kids, they learn that the value of learning is not just sitting there and take the information. No, the effort is done into it also matters. For us. We don't give our children any any sense of challenge when it comes to education. No, we want them to be the most comfortable.

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Because we think when they're the most comfortable, they'll study better.

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They might actually do so. And they might excel in terms of grades. But in terms of social skills, life skills, they become very poor. So that's why when they go to college, some of them don't even know how to handle college, because they don't even know what how to make decisions on what they want, what they want to study. And I have so many young men and women, they come to me and they say, Now that I'm done with my first year in school, what do you think I should do? And so what do you want to do? So I don't know, what do you think I should do? Or what do you want to do?

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I mean, I can answer this question for you. But I know where it's coming from. They've never been given the skill of making these decisions, these choices. Similarly, when it comes to marriage, when it comes to marriage, we don't prepare our kids to get to get married. We want them to get married when we decide they're ready for marriage. So these kids don't make any effort to prepare themselves. It seems that we're associating we are associating the maturity level with the education level when my child finishes school, they're ready for marriage.

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So therefore just finished school. Okay, while I'm finishing school, how am I gonna live my life Your parents will take care of you. I remember one occasions I used to when I used to, I travel silver for another Institute, one of those occasions. When I arrived in the city, the young man came

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testing under

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some people perhaps maybe they know what it is that they want.

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The name of the city I'm not going to mention the city and don't worry about it. So when I arrived in that city, a young man came and picked me up. He was maybe around 1920 years old Mashallah. And he was driving the latest BMW edition. I got into the car and a Mashallah. Mashallah. You don't want to live.

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So I said, martial law, and I know he's still in college. Basically, I said, martial law, who's this car? He goes, it's, it's mine. I'm like, martial law says, What do you got it from? He goes, my dad borrowed from me.

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I said, Can you adopt me?

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But then I told him, I said, seriously, I said, you really think your dad bought it for you? It was What do you mean? He did? It's mine. I said, No, you need to understand your dad bought it for himself. So how come so because your dad which I know who that was that I said, Your dad doesn't want the people in the community say that the son of XYZ is driving a crappy car. That's why he's buying your fancy car right now. When you buy these cars for your children who are still freshmen in college, and they're driving, they're old, or they're driving their dream cars today, what motivation you left for them to finish school.

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What else that they're gonna need to be challenged for. No wonder they get lost. They don't know how direction and then they start going to all these, these websites and start, you know, looking for meaning for themselves, something that is meaningful to them outside of this material world. And when they have somebody telling them the agenda is there for you. And they just follow this because I think this is the right direction. They make bad decisions, wrong decisions. It's extremely dangerous. Living that comfortable life Cipolla can be that dangerous specifically for us over here. I remember reading that I am aloha Pablo de la hora Randhawa he so he saw that the heels of his son,

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they were very soft.

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He looked at him and he goes, Kalia buena Shoshana for in the near metadata. Doom says roughing up a little bit, son. Because this nirma this blessing don't last forever.

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Which means sometimes you have to go through the process in order for you to enjoy life and and handle up do the right thing. Training, our children don't have the basic training, even when it comes to the subject of marriage. We have we have them take all these exams and all these trainings and all this education for them. So they can be certified in a certain profession. But when it comes to the profession for life, like marriage, the skill to be a successful husband and wife. We don't invest that much.

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I run I run actually a counseling services as well. People, people, they say that it's expensive. I said you wait for the voltage, easy divorce, how much expensive is going to be because without training, without training for marriage, there is a high rate of divorce, I have statistics. And I deal with these cases, regardless of what background they are, how wealthy or poor they are, it doesn't matter. It has to be skills. Our kids don't have the skills to learn how to live this life. We're not equipping them with these things. We're given them life so comfortable, so easy. You don't have to worry about anything, just finished school, finish education do this don't do that will take

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care of everything for you. As a result, they feel lost. And when they start looking for meaning they might go to the wrong direction. Another thing that causes them to be so depressed and dissatisfied with this life, look into the affairs of this world. I mean, Subhanallah obviously, when you look into what's going on in Syria, and you see that people are even willing to die, they're writing what I call the arch, the arcs of death, these arcs of death and the ships and the boats of death. They know that's not even a 50 chance anymore. With the high, high rate of mortality and that during that during the season, when the weather is changing, the climate is changing.

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People know it's perhaps maybe it's it's 30% survived 70% death, they're still taking chances. Whenever we see what's going on the Muslims in Iraq or in Bangladesh or or ro hinga. Or even anywhere in the world. When you look at that many Muslims, the fields, Allah, helpless and hopeless, especially living here in America. I know a brother, who came as a refugee over here, a lot less than with with this status, he came to this country. He got married, he sought asylum and he got it and he just lived his life over here. But until now he's still struggling with his marriage and his life. Why is that? Because he's feeling guilty that he's having it comfortably here. What his

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family's still suffering there.

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So they'll have this now that they're feeling guilty, being alive, feeling guilty, that having everything and handler given to them, you know, on a golden plate. They're just guilty of it.

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Why do you have to feel guilty if Allah bless you, we'll just use it for the rest for the best you can and shallow, who doesn't have to feel guilty that you're humble, you're wealthy, you don't have to feel guilty because you have education because you have a community, you have a house, you have a roof over your head, you don't have to feel guilty for that. Instead, use this nirma and be grateful for the cinema, and then take it to the next level with the people that you try to help them in a way that is shallow that you can be an ally as the result. So these young men and women, when they see the condition of the world, and they see that political leaders, religious leaders are not

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moving anywhere not doing anything about it. They start kind of feeling that they've been betrayed, they get upset, they get angry, and eventually some of them they might decide to leave Islam and others perhaps would go and make that radical decision and make the wrong wrong actually choice.

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Many of our brothers and sisters the young ones today, what they do they they romanticize the past. So every time we see here a situation that is happening, they always bring you examples like Salahuddin up honorable hopper or the law of attraction. Like Where are you guys from these people? While I would answer this question like I live in, I will Talabani answer some people who came to him after the Battle of Safin, a man came to leave and he said, Why did the people like disagree on you when they have agreed on men like overclass a decent armor? like telling, like telling it, you are the problem?

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Because the worker didn't have a problem? Or didn't have a problem? How come the people they fight now over you? And they didn't do that with overcoming trauma? What was the answer to have earlier the law of the land? He said to him because the people of romanova Casa de where people will live in a better life and people like me, and my people are you and people like you.

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So sometimes, the way the reason we're going through all this, all this, all this dilemma in our lives is because of our actions. It's us, the choices we make as a community can lead to this result.

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There's not so many people in our Muslim communities as an Imam, I've been in demand in this country for the past 15 years, I've seen almost everything was more massage at the big massage at the big image a small community so panela when it comes to when it comes to given suggestions and feedback about a color, we're all experts.

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We're all experts, when it comes to give me your hand, so we can work this together while I am to visit. But can we ask for volunteers, please. That's how we do it in our Muslim community.

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There are a few people who take initiative and when they do, they get discouraged by the local communities. And that's why these kids, they start making their own choices and taking their own decision on their own. It's extremely dangerous, if we don't give them the opportunity, if we don't provide these, these channels for them, where they can use their talents and skills and energy and knowledge and so on, they are going to find their ways, if we don't give them the chance and lead them through it, they're gonna find their ways.

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And another thing also, it's a matter of, you know, neglect from the Muslim community, if you ask any, any Muslim community, what they like the most. Usually, most parents complain about the lack of youth programs, children programs, so they always wait for someone to do the job. They don't get together to sacrifice their time and effort. So we can make it happen in shallow dialogue. But we all agree on one thing, there is so much neglect in this area. And whenever we do something, it's just it's chaotic, we don't have any organized system except for a fuel handler successful community, for the law has the origin. But the thing is that because of all of this, our young men

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and women, they lack that purpose in life.

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They don't they don't see a meaning meaning to their lives anymore. And as a result, they will be looking somewhere on the internet to find a special meaning for their lives. And if they go to the wrong websites, definitely the results will be catastrophic. And here's my advice in Charlotte about a quarter how can we make things easy for them number one,

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as parents as well, that also applies to us as parents is that we need to get our kids ready from very young age. You don't have to you don't have to tailor the life for them. Like many families are Mashallah they're very actually cannot micromanage the life of their children everything even what they need to have for breakfast for lunch for dinner, nothing what they were, what they drive, what they do, how they everything. That's not right isn't what we need to do. We need to have our children grow up in Charlotte to become healthy human beings. I mean, I was just asked before I came over here by a sister, how can I raise my children give me a plan a program? What is it? Do I need

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to make sure that my kids inshallah will grow up to become you know, good Muslims. I said, Why are you so terrified right now? It's not because you have children. suddenly you realize, oh my god Now I know that the world is not as rosy as I used to think it was. So I need a plan for this. I said there is no plan. I can give you any plan. Just make sure

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When you raise your children, you raise healthy human beings who have spirituality, you have fear of Allah subhanho wa Taala. One of the Elena was asked, How can the Sahaba rhodiola run home? They did little and they get so much reward. But as local we're doing, we're struggling every day we have a whole schedule program for everything. When you wake up in the morning, what do you say of the current and influential facade and failure after failure? What do you say until you go and you pray?

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We have everything prepared for us. But then Allah, we can't even catch up. How come they they've done little and they have so much greater of good deeds. Also, when it comes to how much the Sahaba they had the head of them in terms of the quantity of it, versus us to this power that the tip of your finger you have access to 1000s of libraries in the world, millions and billions of pages of knowledge, but the quality of elements very, very low. He said because solid Kowloon these people, they have good hearts, which means when their heart when their intentions when intentions are good. Everything became perfect afterwards. We work so hard to make sure our kids know how to recite Olive

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butter, the body and then Rania we make with so hard that they need to memorize the Quran from cover to cover. And they can lead that away without mistakes. Sometimes, we make sure that kids are doing all these religious duties. But how often do we sit down with our kids and talk about their good intentions, whatever they do for the sake of Allah subhana wa Tada. So in order instead of us, kind of dividing goals for our children for ourselves, I want you to follow the son of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam on defining your goal in life in one thing, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu Sallam says manjal Houma Hammond wa Haden Han malnad Kapha Hola, Jose, Rama. Whoever makes is him

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his main concern hammelmann the concern for the hereafter? Allah azza wa jal will take care of all their concerns in this dunya and voila, it is true. It is absolutely true. It's just like the example I've been given for many, many times, you know, even just in the morning, the difference between being happy and being content, we struggle so much doing many things so we can feel happy.

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But as much as we do we feel less happy, less satisfied in this life. Why is that because we don't have the right intention, the right way of doing it. Instead, you need to be content. Once your content if your goal is to be content with whatever Allah has given you, after you do your part, you will always be happy. Similarly, what I want for my dear young young brothers and sisters is that you are not required to solve the problem of the world. But you need to do what you can do in your position in this life in sha Allah, Allah and whatever that you do you do it for the sake of Allah azza wa jal make your biggest concern Your goal is to please Allah subhanho wa Taala. And if you do

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so, you will realize anything that you do, whether it's activism in the method at home or outside in the street, if you always have your concern to please Allah subhanho wa Taala it makes things easy for you, whatever happens because you submit to the will of Allah you because you did your best, you'll always be content, you always be happy, you want to be the satisfied with this life.

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And you know, that you can do as much so whenever you do your part that 100 Allah, results are in the hands of Allah azza wa jal. The next thing is whenever for the young men and women today, instead of working on these big, big goals that we will try want to achieve. I want you to start actually achieving little goals one at a time. Just little goals one at a time. So for example, people they tell me after Ramadan, what should I do? Ramadan is over, I did all these great things. What can I do to meant to keep momentum? I said, What is the best thing you would love you enjoyed in the month of Ramadan? Just one thing. Someone says, You know what, I enjoy working out for fudger

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every single day. So just don't worry about anything else. Just do this. How about fasting Mondays and Thursdays? Just forget about that. Now. Just focus on this. Why is that support isn't there is something in in the culture of habits. It's just like, this habit is like a like a master habit. If you're gonna have this if you master this part. It has this domino effect and everything on you. So if someone decides to do preamble, federal solar car, everything all together, you will fail. But if you decide on one thing, just work on one thing, I want you just to work on one thing, this is to pray everyday on time, that's it.

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I guarantee you will change your lifestyle completely. You're going to become even active in other areas in life, like exercising, even dieting, whatever, just start with one single thing is shallow to Allah. I'm going to do your way when you do that activity work in a professional, shallow dynamic, just make it for the sake of Allah zone. Now, on a personal level, a few things I want you to take away today, Gordon, Sharlto number one, time management, the young ones they waste so much time that no wonder the process

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Assam says of the five things we're going to be asked about when we stand before Allah azza wa jal. He said your lifetime. And then he said your youthful time. So your age, how long? How long you lived and how much you spend is for the sake of Allah. And that youthful age. What did you do with that? Today, we lose time in so many things. And the number one distraction, which is considered, you know, a blessing and a curse. The mobile phones are smaller, it's a it's a, I don't know if you can call quality on a blessing or a curse. For some it is. And when it comes to those who are married, you know what I'm talking about, right? This sometimes becomes an alarmist and the worst

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thing you brought you to life to your children and your family. It can be dangerous time management. I'm not going to give you now the details of how to manage your time but this is something you're going to have to look into it you have to make sure that you choose your time wisely in Charlotte, America with Ireland. When it comes to patience, equality, our young brothers and sisters, they lost actually because of the culture of the all based on instant gratification, drive thru culture, always being going to do everything online. To get in line. It's very important that you provide yourself with time in order to achieve things Rasulullah Salah Sam told me bla bla bla bla, he said

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to him, when he had an alpha and unza Well, I also am in a southern, no one has ever been given a thought which means a gift of a blessing from Allah azza wa jal better than patients. Our younger generation, they grown up less patient every single day because they feel entitled to everything and we don't if they don't get what they want. Unfortunately, they have adopted the habit of doing it on their own. That's why you see many of them, you know, making these bad decisions may Allah subhanho wa Taala give us all trophies and guidance. May Allah subhanaw taala get us in the hearts of our young ones. And our older ones May Allah subhana wa COVID provide for them in this dunya and darco.

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salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.