Yaser Birjas – Class 22 Taseel QA

Yaser Birjas
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of speaking when quiet and regretting past actions. They stress the need to measure and gauge people's actions to determine if speaking is a good idea and to avoid harms' actions. They also emphasize the importance of forgiveness and avoiding harms' actions, as well as the use of "backbiting" and the potential consequences of it. The speakers stress the importance of seeking forgiveness and avoiding harms' actions, as well as learning how to connect with family dynamics and social environments.
AI: Transcript ©
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scan the QR code up there. We talk about questions relevant and related to the subject of our discussion that we had tonight before salon Shala. The first question sometimes I stay silent because I if I speak, I'll get angry, my tone might change and might lose my temper and sometimes my silence makes others even angrier. What should I do? We're going to cover that next week inshallah Tala.

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You speak when speaking is better for you. And you go quiet when you being quiet is better for you.

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If you're going to always just use silence as an escape from facing reality and answering a question and being you know, in a conversation with someone, then that is not really a strategic silence and this is just an escape, and no one would like that. But when you when you go quiet, you go quiet on purpose. You go quiet because it's a strategic silence. That is what the prophet Saracen is speaking about today, we're going to talk about this next week Inshallah, because Dharma, they say, which one is better? Is it better to speak right? Or stay quiet, you know, against evil? Which one is better? Is a virtuous to speak, good? Or is it virtuous to remain silent when there is something evil

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happening on it? So that's, that's your argument, you're gonna see that next week and show some Alama they say, no speaking actually, is still better. Because your silence even though your silence is virtue in that moment, when everybody's speaking ill ill, but you're speaking you stay in quiet right now. So as your silence in this regard, benefits only you. But if you speak higher, someone else might benefit from that. So definitely, sometimes and many times speaking good is better for you. Other Allameh they say, no, wait, if your speed, your chances of making a mistake is higher.

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So therefore, you better be quiet. But we're going to see when it's better for you to speak, and when it's better for you to be silent, and Sharla is going to come next week.

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What if someone says something horrible in the past, and it cannot be reversed, like some Reba for instance, or some bad words, but he realized that unrepented will repent has now removed the sin of that? Well, repentance, as you know, we accept it if you fulfill the conditions for it. And there are three conditions if there was done between you and Allah Subhanallah and the hook of Allah azza wa jal. So first of all, you need to abstain from that sin, you need to regret and you need to commit, you'll never go back again to it. But it has something to do with people such as you had a cook of the bad financial, for instance, that you owe somebody money to give it back to them.

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If it's something such as saying riba about somebody, some Element, they say, Look, you need to measure it and gauge the situation, if speaking to them about what you did two years ago is gonna make things worse, than better not to speak to them. Rather, go to the Majelis, the places where you spoke ill about this individual, and change your words. If you can't be in the same places, then look for the people. If you can find the number of the people that you spoke, ill informed them about us individually, you go to them, and you let them know what you said was wrong and haram and this and that, and so on. And you just ask Allah for forgiveness for it. And then make dua for this

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individual. But if you know, speaker, this individual he is going to be or she's going to tell you that Calaca thank you for being honest with me, I really appreciate that but a COVID hamdulillah forgiven, then go ahead seek forgiveness from them, Allah.

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So in today's time, we are bombarded with news headlines about people, some of which can be considered backbiting. How do we differentiate between what is news from backbiting? I mean, I don't know if you talk about specific individuals or talk about using the world for example, if it seems in the world, you don't have to have an opinion. Just listen to it. And that's it. But if it's something that you know, particularly then in this case, what has what do we have to do with it does that this is this information has something to do with you do you have to make take an action you have to the effect, you know, the way you're going to live your day and, and your bad and whatever

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that is, if there is something wrong with you then get involved in one way or another. So this is the news that you need to verify to talk about and so on. So but it has nothing to do with the individual and personally then stay out of it. That will be backbiting and could be I mean if you continue to carry that out to somebody else.

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For the man who speaks a word and knows not what he has incurred of sin from it's how can one be forgiven? If he knows, he knows not what he said? Will he be forgiven in any general forgiveness he does during the day? Well, you might like the day this question is basically sometimes I say things I have no idea if I said something early in the day that was devastating to somebody will have no debt, no idea. How would I know that? How can I be forgiven for something that there was devastated but I have no

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Hello there are devastated someone else's love What do I do in this case? In this case keep ask Allah for forgiveness.

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They will do that you do every time hamdulillah the faces the sins the Salawat they also they face the sins coming to the masjid does the same thing fasten does the same thing. So always seeking forgiveness Inshallah, if it was something from the savoir hamdulillah should be forgiven. If not, you ask Allah Subhana Allah the provinces amend the DUA he has to say.

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Madam Madam, let me know what I'm not God Allah Allah, Allah Allah. Allah Allah, Allah then be Kula your Allah forgive me all my sins, that kahawa agenda means the little and the big, the little under under many a water who after the first and the last, several who are learning at the silo that the private and the public Malim two men who am LM alum, what I know about and what I have nothing, no knowledge of so when you make this dua to Allah subhanaw taala I hope it would include these words that you say without even paying attention to now

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is there a punishment for breaking a voluntary fast without reason? The answer is no. And abuse Allah Sam says called a saw Mr. Mun FC he when you fast your image of yourself you can continue that fast you can break that fast

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does arguing fighting cursing break your fast it doesn't but definitely it would reduce your reward. And what's the point like we said this would be memo said that everyone's right Evan pagan Rahim Allah Allah when Madame actually, he mentioned three levels of fasting, the fasting of the lemon, and the fasting of the few select, and the first thing of the elite. Alright, the first thing of the lemon is what just stop eating, drinking, but they indulge in everything else backbiting, yelling, cursing and all that stuff and so on. What kind of fast is that? That's the layman's fast. But the select the few select are those fossils, when they first don't just fast eating and drinking. They

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also watch their tongue while the ears and their eyes what they're saying what they're doing. And there is a fast thing of that. The elite, that's the first thing of the heart, even the heart is conscious of what the what thoughts what intention is what human comes into it. So it doesn't break the fast but there are the effects the reward

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can you give the facet of the cream of the crop? Can you give some example of how one's mind would only be consumed with Allah and not the dunya when one might still be working and doing through through the daily chores Subhanallah that is again, when person reaches that level of purification, as we call the 11 zero MLO called Carl taharah to Sahara to sit at the heart of Java. If you remember we talked about three five levels of purification, the purification of the physical purification, Tara has Tahara to Allah man then Jawara like that the purification of your deeds to heart will call the purification of the heart bottle hotter the purification of the thought what

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Ohana to Jehovah our has a man has actually learned algebra which is where the purification of the essence when somebody is that level of verification of the essence what does that mean? They only see Allah's beauty and Allah has hekman wisdom and power and everything that is surrounding them. So even when you're working, you're engaging in a vampire because your heart and your mind and your thoughts are with Allah subhanho wa Taala even as you go after your daily chores, you're always so engaged in bonobo and by the way Wallah I've seen this with my own eyes. There were people in Muslim abyssal Alana wasallam people unless interview Salah Salem they used to actually volunteer to clean

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and help and so on. And as they do that they were reciting Quran. The Quran revealed on Khurana which is literally just like Subhanallah like their heart is so much attached to the book of Allah azza wa jal claiming doesn't distract him from the heaven the memorization. There is so focused, even while they're doing chores.

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Imagine if someone is constantly in that level of vicar so none of these chores will distract them from having that kind of consciousness. So imagine when you fast and at that level, your heart is attached. You're fasting is not just about upsetting food for him, like being hungry doesn't bother you anymore.

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Really, when people say oh my gosh, it's too hot. And for you just like what do you mean?

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Because that's completely you don't even pay attention to these physical circumstances because your fast is something that you observe in your heart at the highest level

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the many questions actually the relevant to the subject Yanni.

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What should you do if your siblings and parents love to speak about anything and everything most times

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This talk is about useless things like comparing people love people better because not useless, right? It's dangerous. Be careful with that. But speaking about homes and things and so on. How do you deal with this, especially if you are a person that prefers silence, and there is no escaping the situation not able to go somewhere else about these people? Well, if you can gently change the subject, that will be great. If not, gentle reminder, Gemma, may Allah subhana bless them with what Allah has given them, and bless it was something better so making dua for them and for yourself as a reminder as well, too. If that doesn't, doesn't stop, you let them know. Why should we bother

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talking about other people? Let's focus on ourselves in shallow water. And if that doesn't help, then at least you did your part. Can you leave the room? I mean, if you can, you should. You should. There's no obligation to stay in this kind of guidance. But if you could not because of the circumstances, just May Allah subhanho wa Taala reward you for being there. Just make it thicker. Let them talk whatever you want to talk about and just make the clear.

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Can you make general Toba for backbiting and not for a specific incident? Of course, you can make Toba in general like you said my olive terminal madam Allah Allah I seek forgiveness from you and with you from what I've know what I've done and what I don't know about it.

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What is the scope of neighbors in the sense of the being good to your neighbors? This is something we have discussed next week in sha Allah Tala, someone told me they say defining neighbor is actually is an interesting thing. Is it the one who's right next to you? Is it the one who's behind you? Is the one relative to you what kind of neighbors we were talking about earlier? The neighbor, the neighbor, who is your neighbor, when you go on a journey when you travel? You know those neighbors you have your roommates basically, or when you go to HUD you have four people or you have a whole tent? Or is now your neighbors actually they classify as neighbors but what is the meaning

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of the of the Hadith when the Prophet says and take care of your neighbors? We're gonna discuss that more next week inshallah.

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Arguments during arguments with my wife, I try my best staying silent. But even the few words I say get me in trouble. When completely silent, I still get in trouble. What do I do, I shall seek counseling, you're on the line.

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Luca Gemma. Yeah, and this is the kind of tangent a little bit I think it's very important to mention here. One of the biggest problems is that between husband wife is not the communication part is the connection part. The communication happens Whether you speak or you're silent, because even when you're sad, you're communicating,

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what you're communicating right now might be something negative. In your absence, the absence of words, and your silence can be deafening can be louder than at your words, especially if your sadness was used as a weapon. So it becomes really dangerous. So therefore, you need to make sure that when you speak, you connect. So how do I connect with my spouse, just as a quick formula for you over here to understand that when women talk or to meet when men talk, they share information, usually, men, they focus on information, tasklist things to do their day, what happened here and there like technical. That's what they're talking about. Women, when they talk, they share their

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feelings and their words, how they feel about what they're saying. So sometimes the words for women are irrelevant, or use differently than men. So when men are listening to their wives, what they're looking for,

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they're focusing on the content, the words,

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and the answer to what they hear. And if they answer to only what they hear, they're most likely going to miss the miss the point. And they're going to ask it to the wrong thing. Because the systems when she speaks, she doesn't mean what she's saying. She's just saying things,

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basically, because you want to express her feelings about it. And when a woman listen to her husband, what is she exactly focusing on? She's focusing right now on the context, not the content. She's focusing more on how he's saying his words, not what he's saying.

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So therefore, no matter what you're saying, even if you're reciting Quran, like Michelle,

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but if you're doing that, in a condescending way, she's not gonna listen to you.

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So therefore, we never connect. So connection is extremely, extremely important. So for the brothers, you need to understand when you speak to your spouse, it's not the few words that you say, it's how you say the matter more, really, and why I give an example.

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A young couple one time actually they were Oregon. And then the lady she goes, then he got upset with me. He shouldn't he shouldn't she's got he got upset with me and he stopped talking to me for a whole week.

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The guy says no, there were only three days. She goes really?

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Like what happened here is that when she said for a whole week, did she really mean seven days? What did she mean when she said the whole week?

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Oh,

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hump time. It felt like the whole week. The guy being the typical guy focus on the word. He heard the words week. So he thought of it was, what? Seven days? And for him it was like, Oh my gosh, he's been upset for the wrong reason. Let me tell you there were only three days not seven. And were just like, seriously.

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Like, for her he validated her pain like he doesn't allow her to feel it was like a week. So she was upset not for what the word he said it for to be insensitive about what she said. So therefore if you'd like to connect the GEMA you need to

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I don't know you need to be what Subhanallah and you have to learn how to decipher these words for both brothers and sisters. So learning how to connect is much more important how to communicate extremely important

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in the online world, there's a lot of gossip How did you avoid this? What do you guys suggest

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stay away from bad things right? Better than that disconnect.

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What's holding you and if you could just look at it that just oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my God keep them afloat and why do you have to go through with this just

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Go away Go away from it, turn it off, move on somewhere else. So there isn't you can't you have to control yourself malas pathway to all your family dynamics drama requirement Allah Baraka

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