Syis Guide To The Galaxy
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AI Generated Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the physical and spiritual aspects of life, including de fame and preference for other people. They also discuss the emotional responses of siblings and their emotions during a crisis, including the importance of learning and practicing to discover oneself in life. The speakers stress the need for regular communication and planning for potential mergings, finding the right person for marriage, and being practical and proactive in relationships. They emphasize the importance of principles centered around immediate or immediate goals and finding the right person for marriage.AI Generated Transcript ©
The topic tonight
is Randy Reynolds.
So I'm going to pass the microphone to saramonic
Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah salam, Ala Moana that we always we begin with the praise of Allah we send our peace and greetings upon the messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
we testify with conviction and firmness that we declare our worship of Allah, and that we dedicate our life to spreading a message of peace and truth, as was sent by the first of our own man, Mohamed Salah law, what he was selling them in conformity to his way of life. Now, the topic that's been chosen is an ambitious topic. Yeah, Abraham's Guide to the Galaxy. Like not just to Earth, like beyond.
So we'll do our best with that. And I kind of thought we'd stop off at different planets.
So we're gonna definitely stop off at Venus, which is our Muslim sisters, we're going to take a look at, you know, some of the things that brothers need to know. Now, I'm not an expert, but I am married, some kind of certified.
We'll also start out stop off at Mars, which is, traditionally you know, they say men are from Mars and women are from Venus, right? So we'll look at Mars, we'll look at some of the things that sisters need to know about men factual things that we can
point out, inshallah.
And then we'll round around the galaxy and look up into the heavens, the distant, distant stars, the things that are so far away, that they seem out of touch, that are beyond us at times. And that we recognize that as far as we can travel, that there are limits that are set for us, by Allah subhanaw taala. So those are really the three steps that we want to look at today. So let's begin with the first.
Gentlemen, I have some information for you.
Sisters are weird.
The ladies are different to how you and I think. And we have a lot of sisters here today who will say Yes, that's me. I am one of the weird ones, in comparison to you as a brother. Now Allah subhanaw taala tells us in the Quran that he created people as larger in partners. Now, this is something important, you know, when we study science, you come to recognize that
there are laws to how the world exists. And some of those laws at the time of the prophets I send them had not yet come into being people had not yet discovered them. They didn't know that there was a male and a female for lack of better words.
pollinators, they didn't know that there's a male and a female tree. They didn't know that there's male and female in the accidents, or that there's a positive and a negative, and that for everything that's created, there's an opposite to it.
They didn't know these things, and the loss of Hannah Montana tells us in Halak nachum as well. We created everything and a part of that everything is you, as well as in pairs. And Allah subhanaw taala tells us that he created men for women and women for men, but we're all created from the same soul. And the law tells us in sorta Nisa at the first first are you who believe all mankind colop nacme, Neff, su wahida, we created you from one soul. And therefore this has some existential you know, higher level
metaphysical
things that really we need to consider. One is that you and I are all linked.
And you're not just linked to each other in spirit. But you and I are linked in our physical being.
In another word, the food that you eat that has come out of the earth, it carries the same nutrients. And it is made of the same thing that you are made from and the earth that you step on. And the ground that you walk on is you. That's you. You're made from that organic material you'll make from that carbon and sulfur from that water from that hydrogen from that oxygen. When you come to
That recognition that Allah subhanaw taala tells you as well in the Quran, He created you holla kakula Shea in the map, everything can trace its origin back to water.
Any science students here with us today? What's the sun made out of?
What's the sun? It's hydrogen. Right? And that hydrogen is exploding and becoming helium. And once all the helium is exploded, it'll turn into something else. Right, the next element down the chain, I've actually forgotten. It's weird.
What is it? Okay, anyway, geochemistry failed me. Right?
So there you are, this is what you're made of, you're made from the same thing that the sun is made. You're made from the same thing that's in the stars. And part of discovering who you are, is looking outside yourself. In Islam, and in spirituality, it's called de facto. fick is reasoning and understanding the fact God is using it to discover your place and purpose in life. I want you to think of a moment when Ibrahim the Prophet of Allah stood on a mountain, Abraham 1000s of years before Mohamed Sai center. And he looked up, and he could see that his people, the people who lived amongst them, there were those who were worshipping idols and worshiping all these other things. And
Ibrahim, he says, Look, I want to show them. It's not just that I don't want them to worship idols, but they should understand that there's a greater concept to my creation and their creation. So he says to them, raw coal cabin Allah says, In surah, Al anon, he's looked up and he sees a planet, a star, a shining bright star. Carla, Heather a bee. He says to all the people seated seated there, that's God, that's my God, maybe.
And they said, Oh, perhaps. And then he said, No, no, no, hold on a second, the sun's rising, that star is going to fade. It can't be my God. Phantom flf color that would actually, I can't worship something that's going to depart from me, something that shows itself from a distance and height. So he waits in the next day, the moon is shining, as if it's a full, brilliant moon, and he's standing on the mountaintop, he goes, maybe that's God. And then he goes, No, no, the moon is going to set it's going to depart, it's going to get smaller and smaller, and then it'll return and get bigger and bigger, and it'll get smaller and smaller and return and get bigger and bigger. It's not its own
self, it doesn't have its own determination.
So it looks to the sun
and the sun sets. And then he makes the job that you and I make every day in prayer. Every time we recite the Fatiha let him Yeah, De Niro, B if my lord doesn't guide me, let me not bore the RB from those who have led away from the truth. And that's why in prayer, you recite Surah Fatiha
boo, boo, Allah him wallet, board lien, don't make me or law guide me, don't make me from those who have angered you, or have been misguided and lead us astray. So therefore we come first, our first stop on earth is to recognize you and earth are made from the same thing. And a lot of destined for you to be a part of this life, and to walk upon this earth, to make yourself and to discover within yourself, that you are also beyond this earth. So almost every surah that was revealed to the prophets, I send them in the first few years of his message, the first few years of Revelation, were all given this allegory of the rising sun, and the disappearance of darkness. So the first sort of
revealed to the Prophet is read. And that tells you and I, that the way to disappear, the darkness and to keep the sun up. And the light of your life present is learning and wisdom and understanding and reasoning, and that you are not just this earth, but you have a mind and have been given an ability to think and you have a soul that you must nurture through that thinking and rationalizing. And the law tells you in the Quran, it cannot be in Arabic, read in the way of your Lord Allah the hallak who made you what you are. Hala Collinson. I mean Halak, He created you a forgetful being in Sam, but He created you not just from the earth, but has
made you come out of your mother's womb, it cannot read again. Continue to study what have become a crumb. And your Lord will ever be generous to you, in all your difficulty in all your trouble. Your Lord is always generous. And love the unlimited column. The greatest generosity bestowed upon you and I is that a lot taught us by the penny. And therefore the first thing given to Adam, that elevates him and makes him worthy of the frustration of the angels to him. Allah Adam Smith, Aquila, ha, he taught Adam the nature and name of all things, meaning that you and I, as human beings, inherit from Adam the capacity to discover knowledge, while all other creation are not able to
discover it, they are taught it by Allah. So the angels are lesser than you why, because anything they know was told to them do this. But everything that you seek from Allah, you choose it.
Allah Adam and usma akula, Your Honor, ekra wallet Buccola from our lemon in our lemon in Santa man and yanam he taught men what he didn't know. I limit the column he taught us by the pen Savannah who went on.
So now you're on this world, you're in this planet, and you're in this time, but you didn't choose who your parents are,
where you would be born. And whether you would have prosperity or adversity. You come into this life as a law tells you in the hole an
you come out of your mother's womb, love talamona, she once again knowledge, you come out knowing nothing
you're unable to hear or see or understand. Your heart is weak, meaning your heart of perception doesn't know your eyes are nearly blind. When you have your children, you'll come to realize that they could see you, but only when you're close initially, it takes a couple of months to be able to see you from like two meters away or three meters away. But what they know is what you sound like what you smell like who you are to them. And as soon as the mother gives birth to her child, doctors put that child on her chest. for a very simple reason. The baby's heard her heartbeat for nine months. And the moment it touches her chest it hears that rhythm again says I know you
I know you hold me Don't leave me and it stops crying.
You become to get aware. You're a Harajuku member to Mahatma Camilla Talia moonachie wa Jalla como sama will applaud I will either from that moment on a lot of the one who gives you hearing insight and intuition and knowledge and an ability to think so you begin to grow. And the law asks you as a young person, as the Prophet Mohammed Salim says, the best of humanity and those who will be given Mercy by Allah on the Day of Judgment, shabu Nasha authority law, someone who's groomed in age and rises in their youth up to adulthood, under the sanctity of Allah, knowing Allah knowing their place, and every one of the prophets of Allah went through that mission. And every one of
righteousness endured that mission. When you understand that Ibrahim was 1415 years old, when he confronts his father, why do you worship? What doesn't help? What is immovable? Why do you worship something that doesn't make sense? and his father can't answer with a rational answer. He has that intuition that he knows that there's more to life than what they are told and what they have been given. And therefore your first primary purpose in life is to study.
Now know your parents, they say this for the young ones, study.
But see studying chemistry and math. It's not just to sharpen your mind, but it's to lead you to a law. See, one of the things that we need to find within ourselves is a place where we feel comfortable with who we are. And you feel comfortable with who you are, when you've attained something that you worked hard for. It could be something like a degree or something where you, you know, you want to attain a job or find a vocation or, you know, build a business or set up mocha cafe.
You're like, I'm going to do something
and it doesn't have to be something
Big in other people's eyes, it only has to be noteworthy in your life. And each and every one of us, we have that purpose in life. Don't think that your purpose has to be limited just by what people estimate as being virtuous. In fact, virtue is in what you see as being something that you put your effort and energy towards.
And therefore knowledge becomes the key. So the first rule of success in this worldly life is to learn and the sharper your mind, the sharper your body, the sharper your intellect, the sharper your wealth, the more powerful your resources, the greater your effective good ease in shot law in society. We bought our spaceship and we fly off to Venus, and you land on that sisters planet.
And the earth that we've just been talking about seems to be suspended.
It's a reality. That's not really a reality. So let me tell the brothers about sisters, sisters, if I'm wrong, you put your hands up, brother. Yeah, you're wrong. Hopefully I'm right.
But hopefully want us to know that I'm right. You don't want to hide that? I'm right.
Sisters are emotional beings. Sorry, sisters.
What is emotional beings when
they memorize things, and you know, I kind of talked about this in my course, if you were there. Sisters link things and remember things not by date, or by color or by shape. They don't remember the event. They remember what they felt during it. And there will be moments I guarantee you, my young brother.
If you're not married yet, you're gonna mark my words. I tell you,
your wife is gonna say to you one day.
I can't believe you did that. You say What did I do? She says, I don't know. I can't remember what you did. But it made me feel bad. She remembers what she felt. She doesn't remember what you did. Now that's gonna puzzle you. Because you don't keep track of how you feel. You know, a brother hangs up on you on the phone.
You're like, oh, that that was kind of rude. What? What's there to eat? That's how you are right.
It's like the emotional attention span of a three year old. Right? A sister.
Someone hangs up on her phone. She's like, Oh, my God.
Did they just do that?
I can. Okay, I'm calling Ayesha. I said, Can you believe what she just did to me? She hung up on me.
Are you sure? Oh my god. Are you sure? What did exactly what did she say? And how did she hang up? Right? That is emotional emotion, how she felt hurt her. And later on. It could be three months down the road.
She's forgotten the whole incident. But she feels that same kind of emotion again. And what happens? She remembers the incident. You forgotten about it.
But it's back in memory. Because for sisters they have you know, it's like a USB portable plugging hard drive. It's always Random Access Memories available. She's always plugged in. She can retrieve the information immediately. Venus is online.
Always online.
They have backup support cloud support it, you know they have to hard drive support. It's there. You're not going to escape it. So you're going to be puzzled in life. Because you're not you may not remember this but in child law you do. sisters have an emotional memory.
Now brothers are different.
Brothers, they don't remember what they fell. They remember what they did. Who said what, when and where
any of you ever asked a girl or your sister or your brother, you know your wife or whatever. You say, oh, what happened? She says, Well, this outside. Well, before I tell you what happened.
I was with a shell. And we were having coffee. No, no, no, no, no. What happened?
Well, I'm telling you what happened. But you have to understand what happened before What happened? Because you have to understand the whole picture of what happened. So I read it. And she ordered cappuccino. And I was like, are you sure cuz it's like how are you going to sleep at night? No, no, no, what happened?
I'm telling you what happened.
Just listen.
And then you'll say,
I can't wait. So you rush it. And that makes your wife
feel you're not listening.
It's not that you're not listening is that she's talking.
You're listening, but she's over talking to you. That's you. You're in your mind. I'm listening, but I can't listen to like everything. So you begin to drift in and out.
And men drift in and out. In fact, in some of the things, and you learn to do this, you say, Oh, yeah.
Uh huh.
Yes. She goes, are you listening? You said yes, yes. And you begin to have that pattern of Yes. And you forget things that they said, because you weren't actively listening. Because they were over talking sisters. Over talking.
We have to work on that.
We'll get to that in shuttling when we talk about Mars.
so emotional. Their communication is a little bit different to us. They speak not just in fact, a B, C equals D. They say a than subscripting. But then a was subtracted because b had to be multiplied, and then they divided.
Somehow, they got to be
somewhere down the road.
It's not a logical flow. Third thing that you need to know about Venus, it's hot. It's really close to the sun.
And sisters get hot, angry.
But they don't glow. Hot. They get angry, smoldering, hot. So on the surface, they look cool. But internally, it's a volcano.
Now these volcanoes erupt at times. without notice, you look at your watch. You say is the volcano gonna erupt? No. There's no volcanoes scheduled for July. But there is one you just don't know the earth start shaking. There's something brewing and you didn't pick up on the signs. So here are some of the signs that the sister from Venus is going to blow up into a volcano.
firstline sisters, am I wrong? And what I'm saying so far.
I'm correct. Wrong. Sorry. Okay, wrong and stuff.
All right. first sign that there is an imminent volcanic eruption.
The birds, the cats. Everything runs away.
Because of the silence. There's eerie quiet here. Like
it's so quiet. What's happening.
The cat knows what's happening. It can feel seismic tremors that are imperceptible to you. There's a volcano soon to erupt quiet. You ask her UK? She's like Yeah.
Are you sure? Yes.
The over talking part is no longer over talking. So you're like, oh, why is my wife not talking? She talks too much. Normally. There's a big problem, volcano. second problem.
The volcanic eruption is now the lava is rising.
The second indication
is that when you ask Is everything okay?
Are you sure everything's okay? Please just tell me is Did I do something to bother you?
You ask an ask and ask and ask. And you get either a smile or a nod. Or I'll be fine. It's okay. Don't worry about it. Yes. Short one word statements. The Love is rising.
The explosion comes
when you're asked to do something, and you have a legitimate reason. And you say I can't do it.
Normally under normal circumstances, you can get away with it as a brother.
Yeah. Can you fill up the laundry machine? Yes, yes, but I'm really late for work.
Oh,
you didn't notice that she was quiet. Yes, I'm okay.
There's no problem. You expect me to do all the work by myself?
What work? What What do you mean? I'm late? You know, I'm really late
Do you think I raised these kids on my own? That I have these kids on my by myself? We are a partnership. And that means the volcano is now inactive.
eruption.
How do you stop a volcano from erupting you? Can't you run? Run brothers?
Get out of boats leave.
Let the lava flow a little bit. Make sure you're still positive always check. send SMS is
flowers. Candy
call.
Do your best. That's Venus. Mars to my sister's is a little bit different.
A brother? Do you mind if I share some of our secrets?
It's okay. Okay.
For the sisters who don't know, brothers, by nature,
are disorganized.
My wife will tell you that she will have told me 100 times where she thinks my shoes should go. But I know where my shoes should go. She knows where she thinks they could go.
But I know where they should go. And it is in the most convenient place for me to take them off. If it's by the door, yes, I know someone might trip on them. But it's inconvenient at times to bend down and pick them up and put them on a shelf. That's a brother. Men are like that inconvenient, inconsistent in that. Second, we as brothers will do only as much as we are expected to do.
We rarely rarely, rarely volunteer. Do you volunteer?
Your volunteer if someone calls you to volunteer? Even my brothers Okay, one of the brothers over he was saying, you know, I have four or five dependable brothers. They give food Mashallah to the poor people, right? And they go out into the city and they give food to the poor people. He goes like give them one call and they come. I say you call them or do they call to ask when you're going? He says no, I have to call. Of course. We're brothers. That's how we are. You go to an Islamic class 70 out of every 100 seats are filled by
sisters. Why? It's not because the brothers don't have the time. It's because it's not a must. So you only do as much as you think is necessary. So for you, my dear sisters,
you're gonna have to nag us. And you're gonna have to say do this, do this. Do this. Do this because sometimes it won't get done. Unless you tell us do this. Do this. Do this. Yeah, do the laundry. Oh my god, I could almost hear my wife.
Now, I don't mind filling that, you know, easy to fill the laundry machine. But it's so tough.
Like it's so easy, but it's really tough. Like you have to separate colors.
Black on one side, why don't want always time for black and white.
Typical, isn't it? Right? men from Mars are also non emotional beings.
can try to I can. Sometimes I can
reach out to my feminine side.
But naturally, men are non emotional. We try our best not to be emotional. Which is in the sense that we hold in what we feel and then bury it.
And someone will ask usually or your wife or your you know, someone close to you and she'll say, How do you feel?
What do you mean? What kind of question is that? I feel okay.
No, how does your heart feel? My heart? feels fine. I went to the doctor yesterday. What do you mean my heart?
Yeah, I'm there for you.
There where you're right here. There. We're like for what? It's okay. It's alright to feel emotional. Or not emotional. I'm fine. And for us as men, emotion. See, it's like a dirty word.
If a man cries, it's like oh my god, he cried. That's rough. How?
It seems unbecoming. And we try to hold it. Have you ever seen a man crying in front of a woman? He's like
No, I'm not. I'm hiding you know.
Your heart You don't want to
allow to be made to seem weak or emotional.
And at times sisters will use that against us.
And at times you will use that against your wife.
We now have the collision of Venus versus Mars, which is the greater planet. I'm going to tell you something brothers and sisters. Marriage is really another word for war.
Note like it's Have you have you ever played battleship? Who's gonna sink who's battleship? It's very tactical.
Any brothers play Modern Warfare.
You don't have to have a sniper.
You have to have a sniper. You call on the sniper. I need tactical support, sending the RC it's necessary. And it's necessary because there's a given take all the time in married life.
And when I say war, I don't mean it as a dirty war, nuclear weapons and all that.
You as a brother, you're going to send in artillery.
And it's going to happen.
You're going to get into an argument with your wife. And you're going to go Ah, you're gonna shoot the rockets. Same sights. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang bang bang. I called him the aircraft carrier.
And the sister is gonna you know, I told them yesterday. She's gonna submerge yourself like a submarine. A class Russian class nuclear submarine.
Now you're looking for the submarine. Where's the submarine? She seems okay. Yes, I'm okay, honey. I'm fine. Be careful with that word. I'm fine. It's actually Hiroshima.
I'm fine. Nuclear Weapons are deployed in the water. torpedoes are in the water. You don't know that your bridges are about to get burned.
And when you're at war, when there's an argument, there's one aim.
And that aim is I win, you lose. That's not how it is for Muslims of course.
That's how it is men and women who has the power.
The Prophet Mohammed Sai. Selim gives us a completely different perspective. Because he everything I just said there. I'm going to mention to you the Islamic treatment of it, some of the law, what he was saying.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
remedies, all of those insecurities that we have emotional, you don't want to seem weak. You don't want to cry in front of a spouse.
You say I'm fine, but you're not.
You hide what you're really feeling or you're quiet. You don't want people to know what you're really thinking. And that wasn't the way of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu he was.
Fourth, you find that the prophets I send them had a sense of dignity, and keeping another person's dignity, especially his spouse was always paramount. So you find all this lobbying of artillery, the law, and the prophets, I sell them if you were standing in your position, he would be silent. You'll be quiet.
That's how he remedied our lifestyle. So let's look at how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam separates these planets and disengages us from the mistakes that we have in life.
What is the ideal Venus and Mars? What is the ideal Muslim brother, Muslim sister?
For us, our way of doing things is governed by the representation of the lifestyle of the Prophet. Let me tell you a story about the prophets. I send them and his wife.
Any of you guys read my article the sin of love? No. Oh my god. That's how I feel. I feel bad that I even brought it up now. It's actually been read like 300,000 times 300,000 hit I would thought there'd be one person in KL who's read it. All right. This is your mission tonight.
You go home, you Google, Yahoo, Abraham Brahim, the signal of love, because it's actually a really inspiring tale from the life of the Prophet Muhammad's life.
At a time of war, in the middle of the desert, the Prophet and his army, they're trying to get back home, and they're surrounded by enemies, right? And in desert warfare when it's hot, you travel by night and you keep the sun
sheltered. You shelter in your tents by day.
And in the middle of the night as the Prophet setting, you know, picking up camp and they're going to start their journey. They want to get out of this enemy territory. The prophet SAW Selim his wife, she comes on, whispers him, she says, a messenger of Allah. When I went over there, I lost my necklace. Yes, which necklace is it? She says it's not an expensive one. It's not even gold or silver. It's just a black thread with black beads. But it had sentimental value to her wasn't worth anything. Now you would think in enemy territory with dwindling water supply. You can only travel at night. You can't travel by day, there's enemies trying to catch up to you. You would say forget the
necklace. Let's move on. If my wife and I were in KLA airport, and she says, Yeah, I left my wallet and, you know, back in the hotel, I forget the wallet. Forget. Forget the watch. Let's go get on the plane. We're going to Perth
about you another watch.
Right. What is the profits are seven do?
He says All right, everybody. Unpack your camels. We're staying here another night. Now those who have only heard this like what? Why?
He says, you know how he lost the necklace. They're like, Oh, okay. Is it like really expensive? He's like, No, no, no, it's the black one. Can you guys help her find it? Now, can you imagine a moment of no hot tub this fierce warrior.
You know, when you read the biography of Armando Omar was the kind of guy literally his size. He was a big man.
When he sat on a horse, his feet touched the ground.
That's our mother. In law. He was like, large, powerful. And there he is bent.
In the desert, at night in the dark, looking in the dark for a black necklace.
So you know, so are all these slob they're wandering the desert. And then they start off, of course thinking what are we doing?
Who we doing this for? For what reason? So who do they go to complain to they complain to his father.
Man, what's going on? I didn't sign up for this. I signed up for battle. I'm looking for a necklace here.
Now we don't even have water. If we drink the water tonight, we won't be able to make Whirlpool for fresh. And if we don't drink, we're gonna die. We have to drink. Now up to that moment. to young Mum, you know, getting ready for prayer without water was not yet taught. It wasn't yet talked to them by law.
So they start grumbling. So I will buck rushes over to Arusha becomes Asia and the Prophet was asleep. So I sent him the middle of the night, and His head was in his lap. She had his head in her lap. She was combing his hair and stroking him some aloha Selim and Abu Bakr was in the tent. And
how do you do this? You should have told me I'll get you another necklace. How could you inconvenience us? How could you put this burden upon the Prophet? We're gonna go thirsty and now if we if the Prophet wakes up and we don't have water, how's he going to pray? Some a lot. He was
just quiet. She doesn't answer
because she's got a husband.
I told my man
You're my dad, but he's my man. So
that's it.
So the prophet SAW Selim wakes up and he says anyone find the necklace? They said no.
He says oh hi. And they say out of sola la so I said we don't have water. We're gonna need to drink the water we can't make
we'll do because we have all day in the sun. To live on that same water we're not going to reach the well because we don't travel by day. So either we conserve the water and drink it or we make will do and die.
And just at that moment, a lot of reveals core on to the profit center, which is in salted matita for elim. Did you do ma M for the young mammals like even Thank you, but if you run out of water, then make t mo touch the ground with your hand.
purify yourself with the dirt, the natural earth which you're made of. And now you're ready for prayer. Guess what everyone said? aloha Isha. She's the best of us. You always make things easy for us. You know, I showed her father while you guys are the best look
Done, we'd never would have gotten this if it wasn't for it. She's amazing. Hammer do I wish I handed like, you know, he said hamdulillah hammer too hard.
Right?
Now that shows you the prophets I send them
as being the total opposite of the normal Martian that we call man.
total opposite. He puts his wife and our simple need before a whole community and their great need some allies
he would rather honor her. Because in honoring your wife, you will fulfill the needs of everyone else.
That's powerful stuff.
Now let's look at it in the opposite way. How are Isha returned that honor to the messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
and will conclude with that, so we have time for questions.
I just sitting one day, and this lady starts to abuse her with bad words in front of the prophet SAW this lady she was an old woman kind of senile, whatever, maybe. And she just showed this, this and that. And I show who's able eloquent enough to defend herself because she's right to defend herself. She just waits. And she says before I answered this lady, I look to the prophets, I send them and I saw in his face, if I answered her, he'd be upset with me. So I was quiet.
Now that's powerful. That your wife, the woman that you love, monitors her emotion, her natural instinct to defend herself, especially when right without even having to say a word. Just because she thought that if she did something it would upset you. It's not because she fears the profits Lysander it's because she loves the profits.
That's amazing. So she's quiet. The lady leaves comes back says the same thing. It shows. Okay, that second time it's on. It's on like Donkey Kong. I can destroy your now. But she says I looked at about and I seen the profits face. He'd be upset with me. I don't want to upset my husband. So I'd be quiet.
Third time, she comes back. And the prof is like, Okay, that's enough. Now it's too far. So in his face, she could see that if she defends herself, he's not going to be upset. So I issue she says fun facade. The word infosoft in Arabic means, like, I demolished her and took victory. Like it's like I danced on her grave. Like I destroyed her.
So she went and knew not to come back. For that habit while I'm talking to you after she left after what I told her and knew don't come back and mess with me, especially in front of my house girl take you out. That's exactly what happened. Now that shows you the opposite of what you see at times, that at times a person will say I don't care what he thinks. I'm going to do what? It's right for me. I'm not doing anything wrong. I don't care what he thinks. No, that's the opposite to what you see with some of the women that live on Venus. So we'll leave the floor open for some questions in chat law. There's two other things that I want to talk to you about. We'll talk about them after we
take some questions. Maybe they'll come up, inshallah, anything from the brothers or the sisters. Anyone want to share more stuff about the men from Mars. Ladies from Venus.
I'm gonna sit my coffee until you ask a question. Thanks for the
comments.
how long you've been married
a year. And now
my wife keeps saying
to me
this is
Allah
honestly can't remember
while he searches that thank you so much, sister for all your kindness to my wife and my family alphabetically. Now, for those of you who know,
our sister, you would know I'm sure you would already know her kindness, but so Pamela just
Alright. Okay. She says, Don't say, thank you. There's like a lot. Now the only reason I think he was because a law tells us and the prophets and teachers, you can't be thankful to Allah unless you think others. So this is this is your work? Thank you.
What do I say on Facebook? Man?
He's still looking.
Oh, yes. One of the signs to you, that Allah loves you is that your wife loves you?
Does that make sense? Any married brothers here?
You'll know this if you're a married brother. The moment you're not good with a law, something goes not right with your spouse. 100% It's inescapable? No, no, I'm being serious. The moment you mess up a little bit with a law, Allah.
Allah causes your spouse to kind of you and her kind of have a little thing. Why is that? Because the law tells us in the form
that from assigns to us as He created us as men and women from the same soul. And he's the one that puts he is the one that puts love between us. And the moment you disobey the one who places love, that love is raised, or less than. And one of the signs that the Prophet Mohammed I sent him he used to say to each other, the lohana, could you imagine the Prophet would actually know when I was upset with him? He would say, Yeah, I know. You're not happy with me. He's a prophet of Allah, but he's also a husband.
He says, I know when you're not happy with me and when you aren't? She says, No, that's not true. I'm always happy with he goes, No, no, no, I know. When are you? How do you know them? He says, When you're happy with me. When you make do I you say one of the Mohammed Oh Allah by the Lord.
Give me this to do that or help me with this. But when you're upset with me, you don't use my name. You say what a big Kava, by the Lord of the Kava, by the Lord of the dawn. You don't say what a be Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And that shows you that there was that? You know, intimacy and sensitivity. But at the same time, there were challenges that was was appreciate.
So one of the lessons that we extract from this is, the more Allah loves you, the more your wife loves you.
And invariably, the more a law has distanced you from him, the more troubles you have in your home, and therefore the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says, Hi eurocom the best one in his nearness to Allah is the best in his treatment of his family.
And I am the best in how I treat my family. Meaning because the Prophet is the best of the oma. So therefore, he's also the best in his conduct with his wife. The closer you are to a law, and the closer you are to the prophets conduct with his wife, means the closer you are to Allah subhanaw taala. If you the church will Islamic will call him He says, If you want to know if you're from the LDR see if your wife is a really
if you want to know if you're a friend of a loss if your wife is your friend.
Does that make sense?
You want to be wealthy with a law? Is your wife your wedding?
That's rough man. Scary. Allah help us. All right, this is a this is a real question.
If you're in a relationship that's different to marriage, how do you know when it gets real? Ooh.
Wow.
So if you're in a relationship, it's not you know, you're not married, you're seeing someone or whatever. How do you know
if it's should be real or whatever? Look,
I like to be honest, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, right. And sometimes, standards are different based on culture. And sometimes it's based on upbringing.
But here's the bottom line.
Anytime you're in a quote unquote relationship,
and that relationship is not what Allah and His Messenger Mohammed Salah law, it was seldom allow or permit.
Not only is it sinful, but it's unproductive. It's going to hurt you. You know, why are there so many broken hearts? Because there's so many illegitimate relationships. Does that make sense? Like a law doesn't want your heart to break. He doesn't want a guy to mess around with you and break your heart.
But you let it be done. Because you're not listening to Allah. So Allah gives you all these little things to help you along the way. He says, Look, I want to protect you read the law. hoby commodious alone wants to make your life easy. He tells you in the Quran mountains analogical Khurana, Natasha, I didn't send the Quran to make things hard on you. Meaning anytime you're going to go against what the hold on or what the prophets I send them one. You're making it hard on yourself.
First,
sisters, I'll talk to it from our sisters perspective.
What do you guys want?
Especially teenage guys.
To teenage guys don't want to talk.
They want to see or to be seen with you. Because it's a source of pride is like, Oh yeah, I have a girlfriend. She looks like this. It's not she's smart. Or she gets good grades. Or she's from this family. Or she's a good Muslim.
It's really shallow. She's hot.
She's beautiful. She's this easy. Is that right? So guys want something to look at. And you for young sisters, you want something or someone to talk to? Because we said women excuse me over talk. You want someone to tell and share? And oh my god, I have so much to tell you. He's like, yes. But can we do it face to face so I can see you. Right? So he wants to see her. She wants to talk to him. And it's totally separate. And men don't want the same things as women on a psychological level they don't. And on a physiological level, they go from a physical level and from a thinking emotional, psychological level to separate totally different things.
So anytime you put two people together who want two different things, you're never going to get the same outcome. The only way you're going to have something happy and pleasing to you. Is if both of you want the same thing. Both of you want a healthy relationship that's going to lead to marriage. Do you guys know how I got married?
Do you want to know how I got married? I went on date. Okay, I'll tell you about the date.
Like I went on a date. Oh my god. All right.
Now my wife used to work. She was an accounts manager where I worked.
And before I knew I was a young guy like 25.
And I was just in Australia for three months. I thought, okay, I'll work at this place. For three months, I was recruited headhunted from back home in Canada.
And my dad said, Okay, look, you go when you come back, you get married and shot long. hamdulillah finish your school and you know, you're ready for mass and yes, yes. So when I went back to Canada in July,
I used to have like three dinners a night at three different people's homes, so I could see different families and different people. And so Pamela there wasn't anyone that I liked. They were trying to find someone appropriate for me and this and that. They were all great people in case they watch this YouTube video. They were amazing people, awesome people. The best people, but it just didn't happen. Right?
Cuz this one hurt anyone's feelings, right? Well, like, they were the best people.
And it didn't happen.
So my dad goes, What are you gonna do? I said, I don't y'all lost something. You know, my dad had this fear. He thought, Oh, yeah, he gets married or find someone in Australia. He's not going to come back to Canada. My dad's fears were correct.
Not because of that, but for other reasons.
So I got back to Australia.
And in my mind, I always wanted to marry someone who spoke Arabic. The only reason was because I'm lazy. Remember I told you men will only do
the bare minimum? I want my children to speak Arabic Now of course I don't want to teach them me. So I want a wife who's gonna teach them that's how men think sisters beware.
The easiest Oh yeah, well, how am I gonna? You want me to teach them Arabic? No, you marry someone who speaks Arabic. That's how you teach them. There you go. You want them to learn Quran you marry someone with Quran. You don't teach them yourself. That's how men are. Allah forgive us. All of us. Because I know how you all are. You all are like that. Don't lie to me. Allah is a witness of all of our hearts.
It's true.
But this sister she was of a Turkish ancestry didn't speak audibly.
But she was different to others in the sense that she didn't have he that kind of you know that. Salaam Alaikum Brother, you know, that kind of thing.
She was just like professional said, I want to come and go Salaam you just get on with the work. That's it. So I want to say yeah, how are you, sir? Whatever. didn't look up. Nothing. Sounds like Oh, that's nice. Because that's what you kind of want. You don't want someone who's using you know that. You don't want that. Because if it happened to you, it's gonna happen with others. You don't want to have to have that happen. That's embarrassing.
And I knew her brother. But it had never come to my mind because I always wanted to be lazy and have someone teach my kids Arabic. So I call up her brother, her brother. His name is genius, which is scary.
You're really genius. That's your name? like Mr. Khan, Genghis Khan. The blood Lord the killer. Yes. Be careful.
I go Genghis, do you want to go like do something?
He goes, that's a strange question. We do stuff all the time. What do you mean? I go, you know, like, do something. He's like, ah, hold on. Let me ask her.
So he, hey, yeah, he has on the phone. She's like, Yeah, he wants me to do something.
They're like, Oh, my God. How embarrassing is that? I'm asking a girl's brother out to a date.
So she goes, Yeah, go do something goes. Yeah, okay. I can do something. He goes, are you gonna come with your car?
I go, Yeah, he goes, No, no, don't bring your car. Now. It's not I had a really terrible car. I live three doors down from where I worked. I only bought a car because I used to like to scuba dive, but I needed something to put all the scuba gear in it and Sandy, and I bought the car for $400. And the driver saw the passenger side seat didn't have any floor. Like get to sit like this
and see the ground under. He goes you're gonna bring that car. I was like, Yeah, he was no, no, no, don't don't bring your car. I'll bring my car. I was like, alright.
So we went out, had dinner, fairly romantic stuff. And he asked me questions. How long are you going to be in Australia?
Is that really your car? Can you afford another car? Or is that like the limit of your budget? I said, No, I can get a car. You know, whatever. asked all these sensitive questions that you expect to be asked.
And then I had my feelings hurt. He didn't call back. Normally, when you go on a date you expect someone's gonna call you back. One day, two day, three days, a week goes by. I felt terrible. Every day I go to work. Now this was important. Like her behavior didn't change. It was still said I want to come Michael Cera. Here's the work. Here's this. Here's that. There wasn't something like
how was Genesis thing you know, none of that. And I was like, wow, that's impressive.
That's nice.
So I call him I go I didn't get a call back from you What's going on? Don't you like me? He goes, No, no, no, no.
Look, why don't you come over from for tea? As I tea? Wow. I'm gonna have tea at your place. That's cool. I'm gonna go meet like the family.
So they have this thing in Turkish culture that no one told me about.
They should have told me about it. But no one did.
The girl walks in or the young lady walks in with a single tray. And in it is a single cup. No sugar beside it. I like my tea a little bit.
Sweet.
She serves you directly so that only you get that cup. Now in Turkish culture, if she likes you, she'll put extra sugar.
So you tasted sweet, so you're happy. If she doesn't like you, but doesn't want her family to know she doesn't like you and or doesn't want to embarrass you in front of them, she might leave it uninsured or if she really hates you put salt.
So when the tea is served to Alex, I want to thank thanks for the tea and I am holding the cup.
And my dad always told me, you know, he my dad's an engineer, he said, You have to try things. You shouldn't just add things because you think, and I actually remember I remembered that, like, in my mind.
Why don't just try but before I try to I said, getting this and he was sitting at the next year. Can you pass me the sugar? He goes, No.
I go why.
So all of this family like ants and all these people are sitting there, they start laughing at me. And I'm sitting there going Why is everyone laughing? Is just sugar, right? I go Why?
He goes Look, just try the tea. I go No, no, I like two sugars in my team.
Yala. No one told me right? He goes, Yeah, just trust me.
Try the tea.
I was like,
so I take a sip.
I go like this. Man. That's so sugary. You are right.
So they fall on the floor. Laughing right?
Why is everyone laughing? He goes. Listen, I should have told you. I go. Yes. afterwards. Of course, you should have told me. How do you keep that? You know a secret? If you like sushi puts extra sugar. So I couldn't even drink it. It was that sweet of like molasses.
So I rang my dad, and I go,
Baba, there's a girl. He's like, Oh, no.
Okay, who is she? What is she? You know, give me the details. Give me their number. Let me just get to know them. Does she have Facebook? See? Right, all that kind of stuff.
And he goes, Okay, I'm coming. After certain, you know, certain period of time, like a month. It goes okay, what do you want me to come? I said, Well, look.
That was July. And
I told them that happened September,
October, early October. He said, Okay, I'm coming November, November 3 fourth. Around my birthday.
He flies in.
And he goes, Okay, where should I go? He just flew in. He goes, Yeah, but I flew in for a reason.
I go don't want to go No. Where she? I said, Okay, this is serious now. Wow. Okay. She's over there somewhere. It goes, Okay, let's go. I go, but now, he's like, You robbed me all the way from Canada to ask me and that's how men are. We get scared. Weak, weak beings. I said, Yeah. Okay, let's go. I rang up. Yes. My dad's here. He goes, No, where are you going? I said, I'm coming with him. Because I don't want to see why. Why are you coming?
I go, Why? He goes, I'm gonna take her to a restaurant and I want to talk to her. I was like, Oh, my God. My dad's gonna beat my wife.
So he literally asked to see her.
at a place she came. And until now, I have no idea what they talked about. He refused to tell me and she refuses to tell me. They made like some. And then he says, Do you remember what I told you? And she goes, yes. Well, I remember. I was like, What did she tell people? What did you guys talk about? still, to this day, eight years down the road don't know a word of what was spoken.
He arrived on Wednesday.
His first dinner at their house was Friday.
Which is the day I did my Nika
one meeting one time with her family. He said they're a good family. Marry her. That Whoa. You're not gonna ask mom to come and goes, No, you're coming next week. he booked her. He said you you come we'll do another nikka like another thing in Canada. I got married
November 18 nikka
November 25 walima.
November 2008, we flew out to Canada.
That's how you get married. But a boom, Bada bing,
literally
anything other than
what is effectively a goal in life is a waste of time.
I want to get to know her I want to get to know
all that kind of stuff. We need to be boyfriend girlfriend for a while. How am I going to be sure? Yeah, that's nice. But you're going to be sure when you're married, you're sure.
I can guarantee you when you look at this statistic, because it's something that I've studied.
Those who get married with parental involvement early on, in a quick marriage, their marriage lasts in comparison to those who date before marriage. Anytime someone has had multiple partners, I don't mean anything, you know, sexual, multiple partners where they begin to get bitter. I got dumped, why do I get dumped? Well, because of this reason, or that reason, you know, I got this, I got that I got that I got that. It puts a burden on your soul, and it makes life so much more difficult. And you carry so many more excessive bags. So for a question like this, about being teenage and you have needs and I want to you know, how do I know it's real? If it was real, he would have seen your
parents.
If it was real, your dad and mom would have met his dad and mom. If he cared enough, he would at least have made that step. When the profits of the law when he was seldom married off his daughters, he went for the best. And he would go to this person and to re enter a man of man marry two of the doctrines of the Prophet Muhammad Ali married the other daughter of the Prophet Sai segment. He went to them.
It was pointed out to him this is a good man, Fatima. She says to him, honey, honey, he's a good man. Moosa. That's how we got married. As a girl, don't feel shy and say Baba, or this person is a good person. What what would possess you to go to a degree where you say, I want to build a relationship I want to go through so many text messages, so many Facebook, so many meetings, so many movies, and then doesn't work out and do it all over again, then doesn't work out and do it all over again, then doesn't work out? And you can say brother? Yeah, that just doesn't sound like
you know?
Easy? No, it's easy when you're ready for marriage get married.
really that easy? Yes. When you're ready, get married, look, get married, move on.
anything in between is unethical at times. And we ask Allah subhana wa Taala to help us with that.
She or he is the one
moment when you're married.
Because when you're married, he or she is the one it means they are the one.
It's not they could be the one No, they are the one because you're married. You're the one they're the only one.
Right? Yes. Do you understand what I mean? They are the one. It's not they could be the one. See if it's anything other than that. It's all Is it him?
But what if there's something better?
You know, we think about something better?
No, there isn't any better. When you look at some of the words that we use in Islam to talk about marriage, we call the person who gets married, Muslim, fortified. It's like a Fort Madison. He's protected. He's he's found what protects him in his life. She's found who's going to protect her in her life. That's marriage for us as Muslims. It's not convenient. So it's not all are they the right one? If you want to get out, are they the right one, get the parents involved? And then take a little bit of time with the parents knowledge.
Early on, if it's not the right thing, it's not but to just try out the
what's happening in damansara Let's see what's what's. Who's in damansara that's available. Okay. Oh, no, no, no, let's go to Boca jelly.
Now, it doesn't work that way.
isn't broken but
before we replace any of this
and not affect the country.
Narrator Bala Muslim, the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
Isha reports. And oma sanoma reports. More than one of the wives of the prophets. I send them report that as the Prophet was going up to lead the prayer, meaning he would lift the curtain and go into the ministry, like it's not like he's walking a distance, it's just right there. He would kiss his wife before going and part of the student that is to give your wife the greeting of entrance and departures, and that was done by the prophets, I send them your Apollo's Odetta, he would kiss his wife. And she says whenever the Prophet was going to pray, you would kiss me before he went to pray whether your thought and would not read renew his model. And that was in response to a statement of
one of the other Sahaba that the Prophet Muhammad SAW them was that the will do is broken if or the prayers broken, if a woman crosses in front of you and things like that. Now, so that's the statement as for the mother of Lima Mushaf, A, which 100 Villa is built also on an understanding of the pseudonym, the mother of overly Mama shafia is very simple. Any contact between a man and a woman, even if it's fingernail, like if a fingernail, she's giving me change in her fingernails touches me. Some even within the method, they say even clothing doesn't even have to be flesh on flesh. That contact that is intimate and near his breaks will do. That's the opinion of William
amercia. He bases that on the statement in the arm, where Allah subhanaw taala says law Mr. Mooney said that if you touch a woman, touch means physical or come close to or touch the other imams that interpreted differently. Alabama wa hanifa he says lamaster manisa eva shadowmoon Nisa Anika, ha, that you had sexual activity with your wife, that's what's meant. So he goes to the other extreme, he says your will do is valid up to an including?
Yeah, yes. You know, complete sexual activity. Anything under under that your window is still valid to Alabama volcanica Anima mallex. In the middle. He said sexual, he said we'll do is broken. If the man touching the woman intense sexual activity. And if the woman being touched, is receptive to a sexual his wife has been receptive to that sexual activity. And third, that it is skin on skin. And the man I've met, which seems to be the correct opinion in the middle is that mere physical contact, or a kiss or a hug does not break your withdrawal? If it is not intending further activity with your spouse? Does that make sense? Yes, so if your wife says Here, take this to the market play or here
go by this and her hand touches your hand. You don't say curse you now I gotta make
you know, throw the money at me, woman.
Get away. Don't touch me. You know, you're, you know, get garlic vampires, you know, that kind of thing. Right. So that seems to be the medium opinion.
Of course those who follow the more strict opinion of Lima Shafi have made sure that their will is honored and perfect. But there is evidence from the student not just that Hadith, but others that when the one law says law, Mr. manisa it means sexual activity or intent for it now.
Yes, sister?
Yes.
Yes. No, it's not in Malaysia. It's that opinion, or will your membership vary based on the interpretation of that verse in the Quran? No, no wrong. Nothing wrong with that. That's the strictest opinion.
You could stick to it. Of course you should stick to it. But if you come for example, and
come to my messages in Perth, and I've just left home and hug my wife or something. And to you you may consider that's not a complete will do but I may lead the prayer and you pray behind me. You wouldn't say stone the total lie kept way behind this man. He hugged his wife. No, that would be too far. So being strict is not a problem. That's that's valid.
I really needed a hug just for this week. Just today. It's valid.
Look at telethia, which is what you're asking about joining madhhab to madhhab has certain rules and certain
principles, that it's really not its place because it's higher levels of authority. But basically the three rules that govern it. One is that you don't do it
just to find excuse for a given instance, but you do it for every instance thereafter. So can't just be for one week. Yes. And then oh, no, I'm gonna go back to the strict opinion thereafter to is that it's based on knowledge. It's not based on Oh, I heard no, you have to be sure how to apply it. And third one you're going to make them feel is that it's something that you don't enforce upon others? You don't say, Oh, no, this is now we should leave off this opinion. Everyone do what I'm doing now. Otherwise, yes, you can.
You're welcome.
How can you assure parents of data, because they will be objections, from all around because these kids are young. And on one hand, you don't want them. You want them to just settle down and
be the one that always uses. But on the other hand, there would also be people who
have the money or the knowledge.
I'm not saying they have to get married young. What I'm saying is don't mess around until you're married, you're ready.
So you don't have to start early. start mixing around with with people, you have to be more conservative. And that's really important for us, you know, if you're not ready for marriage at age 18, or 19, or 20, it doesn't mean you should be dating at age 1819 or 20. How am I going to get to find the right person inshallah, you will find the right person, when it's time to get ready to find the right person will find the right person. But it shouldn't be left open for them. Okay, just have a little bit of, you know, whatever, until you're ready. So I'm not calling for early, early, early marriage at the same time. We can't leave it open to anyone to do what they you know, like, you
know, and hamdulillah no Zina and things like that. May Allah protect us. We can't leave that open as well, because it does bring bring many problems.
No, yes.
It's not being about being structured. It's being more practical.
And I know for me, you know,
I have my sisters are 19 and 19 years old. twin sisters first year university, right.
It's tough man.
And they live in Canada. So I'm not you know, I'm not there. But everyone knows a chef. Yes. And I'm just joking.
You're watching I mean, money and watch.
Just
send them the link.
No, they look. I've had this conversation with them their brothers. Yes. Seven use of an Abraham and my parents and my mom and my, you know, we have open conversations, what are expectations? What is what are the limits, and those limits shouldn't shift based on emotions or troubled times, or how we're going through things in life. They really need to be principles that we govern ourselves with. One we don't date. We don't go out and just free mingle and just date and see how this feels. And let's see how that feels in comparison to that. We don't do that, too, when you're ready. And if you're ready, even if you don't think you're ready, but you feel you're ready, let us know. And that
way we can talk and see if you're ready and really ready or not. Right. And three, we have to be proactive. You know, my brother he just saying if there's sisters, I'm not saying sending forms or anything. My brother use of martial law. He's 24 years old. He's just finished his master's. He's working for Glasgow.
I'm giving you a CV now.
He's a good guy. He's memorized that 100 leather Hold on. He leads the prayers. He's a good young men. And I had no I have no shame in saying, I'm looking for someone for him. Now it doesn't mean I'm like going to interview them or
Something I'll say, use of this is a good person. What do you think? See what you think that is how we do things. as Muslims, we have to look out for each other. And that's the proper way of doing things. So when someone's ready, you feel they're ready, we become really proactive. We say we know this family in this family, and let's have dinner there. And let's go there. And let's do this. And yes, there's nothing wrong in inputting inquiries with different people. That's, that's the way it's being done in the past, and it should go towards the future. There's a bad stigma towards arranged marriage, I don't mean arranged marriage of four year olds, I mean, arranged marriage where two
families and middle family arranges it between them, and introduces families to each other. That's our culture. That's how we've always done things, right across Muslim lands. You go to Somalia, you go to Kenya, you go to Egypt, you go to Malaysia, I'm sure you have it. Half of the one who kind of says, oh, wow, your daughter, How old is she, she ready, I have this really great person in mind that could really fit. Now that is an art. And that really needs to be revived within our communities. And sometimes the more affluent we get, the more we kind of look down on those traditional practices. But those traditional practices make the best marriages will Lahontan?
Yeah, so that's that that was really my,
my intention, Shama?
Just sister.
Moving along.
Now, Gary, and down the line.
Yes. But see, that's that that problem of commitment is because of all the
16 year olds, seven year old, 18 year old, 19 year old, 20 year old, 21 year old 22 year old experiences that they've had, they've been through 15 relationships, whether it was virtual, some you get some really strange, you know,
I'll get a sister will say, brother, yeah, there's a brother. I've known him for two years. I go, Okay. Can you talk to my dad about him? Like, she'll walk into my office at university? as like, Why? She goes, Well, he's a Melbourne, I got to meet him. She goes, Oh, no, I haven't met him yet. Like, we just met them online. She thinks he's been in a relationship with a guy who she's been chatting with for two years.
That's not relationships. Another one. Oh, brother. Yeah. Yeah, you know, he's a really nice guy. And, you know, I think my dad will say, No, he just needs a little bit of help. If you if you can maybe meet him first. And then take them to my dad, you meet this guy. And you say, Whoa, would I want this person for my sister? That's how I judge it. Do I have the confidence to say I would accept him for my sister? No. So I'm not going to go to your dad. And I say that. She goes, why brother? Why is really good? I go, how do you know? He's good? He's so genuine. He's so open. I go, how do you know, he's genuinely open? How, like, before I say something, it's like, he knows what
I'm gonna say. Like, okay, and what else? Like, I'm gonna SMS him and like, I get an SMS from him, like, almost at the same minute, like, our hearts are together, as like, Oh, okay. And, like, what does he do for a living? or nothing?
What's he studying? Well, he started in this, but he didn't finish. So he tried that, but it didn't work. So he's thinking of doing this. So what you mean is, he has no hopes of finishing anything? Right. So we have to be you know, sometimes
for young ladies as well, especially if they don't have a positive strong father relationship. It can be very easy for them to feel false confidence in someone who shows a little bit of attention, a little bit of affection, a little bit of concern to them in their life. So we have to be really guarding against that. And the more communication we have with our young ones, the better. So a lot of those relationships that break are not the arranged one sisters, they're usually the ones who've had a history of failed, whether virtual relationships or you know, dating in different kinds of medians, up to an including marriage.
Well
It's tough. Look,
no one will ever have the perfect partner.
Never. And that's why the prophets I send them would say, Josh, I know when you're upset with me, and He's the perfect partner, some of the law what he was saying, no one will ever have moments of just happiness. No one will ever have just, you know, everything's great in life. That's not how it is. And I say this to the two people that, you know, we're thinking of marriage all the time. Whatever reason you're choosing the person to marry. That reason is not going to matter after you marry them. Like if you if for the bullet for the guys, if you marry a woman cuz she's beautiful.
She's dresses amazing. She styles herself Well, she's got a great job, you get married. She handed in law is blessed with carrying a child. Okay, she doesn't style herself the same because the clothing is uncomfortable. Her body is going to begin to change which is natural, still beautiful, but changes.
She's not going to have the same priorities that you had before that, and it's going to take years at times to recover to what she was like before she carried the child if ever.
Sisters, you're going to marry a guy why you marry God. He's got a great job.
He drives a nice car. He comes from a good family. He's got to come to LA good finance.
Okay, now you marry him. That great job sucks. Why? Because he's working at it too hard. The great car that you like, well, he's got to pay for it. How? Because of that great job that now to you sucks. Because it takes him too long. He's got nice clothes, and he smells good. It's like damn, too many people know that as well.
Right? You get a little bit of jealousy. Where are you all day, wherever you work while a business and this and that right? You start getting a little bit goofy. It happens so many times I tell you, after you get married.
You used to work just like he works. But now you got pregnant, you're staying at home and you're happy. You're happy to be home with your children. But he's still doing what he used to do, and you're not doing what you used to do. So you resent him for it. So everything that you married him for the Great job, the great clothes, the great car, the great money. I hate his money. I hate his clothes. I hate his car. I hate his job. Why doesn't he just stay home and help me?
Everything he married her for? Wow. We go out and we were we look great. Like a couple. But now we're a couple with bags, kids, strollers, nappies, formula bottles, nannies.
You know, that's life. So everything that you go into thinking is going to be the same is no longer the same. So the things that you love the most, you're not going to love the most. So there better be something else you're gonna discover. After you're married, that you begin to love. And therefore once you're married, then you find as title says, That's the one. Why? Because now you begin to love her for the
things you never saw. What are the things you never saw? how she looks like without makeup?
You're like, scary, but in a nice way.
I didn't know like, it's kinda nice. Like it's different. Wow, look at her.
How she looks like when she's asleep. She's quiet. No, no, no. Jumping, right? You know that you help each other with young children. You look at your child and you look at her and you're like, that's us.
We made that ultimatum, but we like cooked it.
Sir, that's what they say the baby of it. It's like an oven. Right? So you begin to love each other for the theories that you could not ever love each other for before marriage. And therefore for us as Muslims. It's not love and marriage. It's marriage and love. So that's the love that you want. And it's only if you get that that you get committed. The ones are breakaway sister
xyntha is the people who got married, and then they'll things change in their life. I didn't sign up for this. I didn't think it was going to be like, I still want to be living the dating life. But that's not going to happen. You're going to have to change everything in your life as your life begins to progress. And that's the reality. So you want to find the person in shot law that you can
enjoy that with, I
guess,
one last one, brothers, from the brothers. Yeah.
All right. The brothers asking, Is there something from the life of the Prophet that talks about anger, as directed towards a spouse, and there are numerous, you know, instances where, whether the prophets wives were angry, or whether he was angry Salalah when he was sending him, but more than just his, his, his example.
There's an example of regular people as well.
So I'll give you two funny ones, right?
There was any man, one of the sudden, like, ancient masters of Islam, like a scholar of the past. And his wife was really, really harsh against him. She wasn't kind to him.
She wasn't kind to him privately or publicly. And people would say to him, Wow, you've been married to her for so long. But she still doesn't give you any you know, the respect you deserve. everyone respects you. But she doesn't. You know, you're such a great guy. And why does she treat you this way? It goes, listen, what's between me and hers between me and her. It has nothing to do with you, is that you could just divorce her. He goes, No, why I will be patient.
So she passes away before him.
And after they bury her, he's weeping, right? He's lost his wife, even though she treated him harshly. It was his wife. But it's almost as if he's also weeping with joy.
And as people are beginning to leave, he says, hold on a second, don't go anywhere. And he points up to the heavens and he says, oh, Allah. And all of you. I bear witness in front of you. That you my wife, who's now dead. Auntie tarlac I divorce you. They're like, this guy's gone crazy. She's dead. How do you divorce a dead woman? He said, No, I'm divorcing her. Because I had such a hard life with her in the dunya. I'm scared. I'm gonna even have to see her in the accident. I don't want her to be married to me in general.
Your divorce? I don't want to see you in gentlemen right. Now that's kind of like
an extreme.
And it kind of shows you that. It doesn't matter how angry you are. Sometimes in life. There's a level of patience that we have to have as endurance. The second story comes from Omar rhodiola. Han, who, now Amato, his daughter was married to the prophets I send them pumps off. And Omar, you know, yeah, I was just telling you this guy his feet with trail on, you know, when he's on a horse. He's this, you know,
a warrior of Islam. But when he'd be at home, his wife would give it to him. And he goes one night, she was just giving it to me so much, that it was just so much I put my clothes on in the middle of the night. And when I went out for a walk, and I thought I go to the profits I sell and maybe I'll see the profit the profits, usually a weekend night praying. So he says, as I came near to the prophet SAW you said to them, I heard the prophets while also giving it to him.
And I listened for a second I thought, Wow,
he's getting worse than I what I was getting. So I leave that I went home and I laid next to my wife.
It was like, if the prophets I send them killing door, surely I can endure. And that's reality, right?
When it comes to anger,
there's tolerable levels and intolerable levels. And I know we're talking about you know, marriage and all this kind of stuff. And I know sisters, Ida mentioned things about divorce. Divorce is not shameful.
And I know in culture, it's shameful. But in Islam, it's not shameful if it is what is best. And I say this often, you know, divorce is not the last option. Sometimes it's the best option, whether for you or for the kids, especially if there's violence in the home.
There's, you know, intolerance in the home or there's something that you just can't deal with. There are some men who are horrible there are some women
will be careful. Who are you know, whatever, right? Sometimes divorce is an option. And the prophets I send them he divorced one of his wives, right. So it's not shameful. And many of the Sahaba of the prophets, I send them at times they were forced to divorce their wife or their wife asked them for a divorce.
So anger, if it is manageable, and at a level that is acceptable, that does not result in vulgarity in physical harm, in strain in front of the children.
One of the saddest realities for many families and many couples is that you see, you could see the trauma that their children endure, because father and mother cannot control themselves, even in front of their children. And if it gets to that level, that sinful behavior, now you're not just oppressing each other, but you're harming your children. And that's something that we are accountable for in front of a loss of autonomy. So all those are things that we have to keep in mind when it comes to anger and management and so on.
I want
to say that, honestly,
I've had maybe 15 cups of coffee in kale, no 60
this by far is the best one online by far, like by far and even higher. Oh, you tricked me brother. He said Oh, there's the best coffee in town over there somewhere. And he brought me a takeaway It was good. But now that I taste this
semi dark roast, isn't it
before we get into the jealousy of
snakes,
so please help yourself and if you need permission on the
event more than one
hour away
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and also for the tomorrow.
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