Channel: Wisam Sharieff
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Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Allah, Allah alameen wa Salatu was Salam O Allah Rasool e Nabeel Karim are present thanks are due to Allah subhanho wa Taala, who gave us this morning. All praise and thanks are due to God who gave us the opportunity to love who gave us the facial muscles to smile, who gave us the joints to communicate
and who gave us
ability, who gave us moms and dads to have a conference about respecting our family, who gave us brethren who gave us a wife who's tolerant enough to sit here while you meet your friends of praise and thanks are due to Allah subhanho wa Taala who gave me the opportunity and the mercy to sit with the scholars of our religion. I sent unto you the peace and blessings that will be sent unto you in the paradise. Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah.
Yesterday, I returned with Allah subhanaw taala as mercy I returned back to the States, after leading a group of 27 young men 27 young men from students, O'Mara dot com, or whatever their site is.
And our objective for 10 days was to visit the house of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Visit this house, and to share issues that we had.
So I spent 27, or excuse me, I spent eight days with your children.
And the title of today's talk could not be better written or better selected, because it is for Annika
for a concern, read it off to me. For what
deteriorating household I don't want to get that one wrong, or ionic remedies for deteriorating households. And we'll line our theme I went, I swear by God that I went with eight for eight days with these boys, and they all had concerns. They were all really good kids. And they said, But brother is some we don't know what to do. We don't know how to communicate with our parents, because there are two things happening. And I pray that we can start the talk here. We as Muslim households in America, I'm specifically talking about North America, we have two very straightforward issues. And I will ask respectfully to the elders on the stage, I'm going to cook a bad karma. I'm gonna
just open it up.
We have two situations. My my father happy the law and all of our parents majority. I know there are a few that have not been majority of our parents are from another country. And in this country, whether it was Atlanta Stan or Uzbekistan or India, Pakistan, or any part of the auto world, whether your parents were from Medina, in Cairo, or your parents, or from Riyadh, in Saudi Arabia, they came from another world. So when the halacha family came here to the United States, they brought their children.
And upon bringing their children here, their kids had to do two things. They had to wear two faces. And these two faces included. Yes, Mom, I understand mom in Sharla mom, and they included Yo, what's up? What are you doing? How you doing? I'm doing good. And literally in the middle of a conversation, they will be talking to me, and they would start and I'm not joking. They would start to speak English in a DC accent. Gee, Mama. Yes, Mama. You're so correct. So right. And I would ask my friend and like what just happened? Nothing is what's wrong with you. I'm like, What did you do mama? no mama. Anyway, yo, yo.
So it was this to dichotomy and naturally this happened.
On our side, and the elders were then forced to understand the fact that they had to make money. They had to take care of the people around them, and that they had to make sure their kids did well in school.
So the deterioration of the Islamic families started very simply, when we gave up on each other
when I said kids will be kids.
And when the adults said, his waist, he has lost it, my kids are gone, we gave up on each other. The little ionic remedy for building the household together is to so I spent the first part of the talk was the fact that we came from overseas, or we came from a different culture more conservative, and our kids had to play this double role.
And now the remedies to these are two, there are going to sound very simple words. I would like you to try try to
go a little deep. The number one is love and affection. We as a Muslim or mother Anik remedy for the broken household is love and affection. Seven times nine times in the whole on a loss of 100 Wata. eila refers to us the parents, and he says love your kids.
Yeah, Moon a
Lost Planet. Allah says in Surah houde when new holiday Salam says to his child in Surah slough in Surah 31 in Surah 31 of the Quran, Allah subhanho wa Taala says, What if Allah Lupo Malou li
li li hua Hua
was on a look man and we'll look man says leaving he to his son. Wha hoo hoo hoo, yeah.
He looked at his child, he said, yeah. bonia with love and affection. He spoke to his child. The word Yabu Nia occurs seven or nine times depending on where you're looking. New Ali Salaam son was bad Noah's son did bad but what did he call his son? Yeah, boo ninja right. He still spoke to his child with respect. Ibrahim Ali salat wa salam when he was taking his child and this is in Surah slaw fat he was taking him to to slaughter his kid. What did he say? Yeah, Buddha. Yeah. Oh, my child. The number one thing that I asked you to do is refer to your children with love and respect. I'll give you a simple example. One while you're a loo, yeah. Guna Yala to Shiri Queen
This is the greatest advice a father could give all my son Don't run after money. Don't run after women don't run after degrees. Don't run after anything in front of Allah subhanho wa Taala but how did he call this child? What did he say? Yeah, Buddha right. Why didn't say
OBJ teacher a material? namaz part two. Oh child get up You rascal waste of a child how did I get you not to sleep Villa put a tray.
Yeah, buena Yella to Shrek Bella. You're laughing now. But how do we refer to our child? When our child comes home? And he has that what we call the black haircut? Right? And he gets a shave up? Or garlic? Ha? What do you say then? Right? It feels it feels awkward. Right? When I say it up here, oh my God. He said black on stage here. But that's what we say to our kids. love and affection, love and affection. When you look at your child, your child will not change until you begin to love your child. Your responsibility is to teach your child your responsibility is to protect your child from the pain of outside. But when you get home, and you look at your kid, and you say other than soft
words to your child, and you say, oh my beloved, did you pray Subhanallah you didn't pray? I don't know what you're going to tell a lot. Tell me what you're going to tell Allah put the ball in their court. And all the kids are feeling very happy. Yeah, give it to the parents. But I give you the best example in Surah Maryam now this is on one side love and affection. Let's take one step back. In the sections of all on where a man is speaking to his spouse, how does he speak to his spouse? When Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and I had to get my prop on a Salatu was Salam the greatest human being when you say his name, you pucker your lips will have muddled Rasulullah when
His wife for the Allahu taala and her Where did you drink from in the cup? And she would say, Oh, I drink from here. I drink from here.
He would take the cup and turn it around and touch his lips, to where she drank from. Love, love, mercy, mercy, communication with your spouse. Definitely. He Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Now listen to me here.
would go to eyeshadow the Allahu taala on her and ask the prophet Isaiah of the prophets, Allah Psalms, wife, I shall the Allahu Allah Allah, he would ask her, can I pray all night? Can I pray? You might say he's a chef can do whatever he wants, the prophets of light, his son can do whatever he wants.
I asked you this much, why would he go and ask permission from his wife? Was she ever going to say no? Was she going to say no, you can pray? inclusiveness, love and compassion. Everyone expected me to come up here and talk about the deteriorating household. You need to pray you need to do this. No, we need to respect each other as human beings in a household. When you accept that you were born somewhere else, and your child just came from school, and someone handed them some drugs and said here, no one will know. And you come home and you're asking them Why didn't you make your bed? Drugs, making your bed?
What? How do you put these two things together? throughout the whole an Allah subhanaw taala teaches us love and compassion for our wives and for our children. But now we flip the coin. But my kid he doesn't listen to me. My child knows so much. If you're talking about something else. Our kids don't listen to us.
I'll give you the example of the most wise of the most intelligence of Abraham. Ibrahim Ali salatu wa sallam a young man was a prophet was given prophet hood and his father did what what did Abraham and his arms that do? What was his job?
He made idols right. So he didn't do bad things. He made idols that people worshipped.
And when he spoke to his father, did he come to his dad and say, I go to the economic conference, I know more. I take a mug grip classes. I know more. He was a prophet. He came to his father, and he didn't say I am Haffield. He came to his father. He said, Mina, Larry, some of the knowledge that God has given me some of it. Some of that knowledge tells me that we shouldn't worship idols. Young people, love and compassion to the fact that your parents don't know who little Wayne is love and compassion to the fact that your parents don't know what's going on in school, love and compassion that if you genuinely told your mom, what Stephanie asked you last weekend, she would die. love and
love and compassion, my beloved sisters that if your dad saw your Facebook, he would stop having the ability to pump his heart.
love and compassion. Don't wait for them to tell you what's right and wrong. Love and Compassion in their ability. I end by bringing these two points together.
Allah subhanho wa Taala so the first point is I'm a minute on the way home as you're driving. If your dad says turn off the music, love and compassion don't say well shape, scholar this and that said you're allowed to listen to it. Baba said no collas He is my [???]. This is my Mufti.
And when I'm not with him, I act if I act differently, that's up to me. But don't throw an O young people in the audience. deteriorating households are not because of a lack of Islam. Our households are deteriorating because we have broken Islam. What is broken Islam? When you go to your mom and say, what's your delille? What's your proof? That this is Helen,
this is broken Islam.
When your mom says stand up when you meet me and you say Allah Rasool Allah Shut up,
shut up. Stand up and meet your parents.
When your father says this is what I want from you, and you say is it's in the sooner haka wahaca.
shakers in front of me. I won't say it again. But please stop talking.
Remember, Allah subhanho wa Taala gave us this opportunity, this opportunity to have a conference to see that our households are deteriorating. Allah subhanho wa Taala. Allah says in Surah Baqarah and this will end this first component, love and compassion with the people around you. Do you want your daughter to wear hijab?
Only or do you want her to enter Islam? Do you want your parents to let you go to that party? Or do you want your parents to go to Jenna? Don't force Islam down the throat, but enter into the religion. Yeah, you Hello, Xena, Manu, Hulu. Mika.
Oh ye who believe enter into the deen into this religion in totality. So Ignace Singh sisters mom, who has been doing door word translation. Your kid doesn't pray don't wait for him to become happy. Start at his level. Wait at his level. Sit down next to him and say what is this TV show? Glee? What are you doing?
And experience this with your child alhuda. Moms before you make all my son should die Shahid, word toward translation sister moms wait. experience with your children. sit down with them. Don't give them more toward translation first, ask them if their stomachs are full. Not this stomach. Have they been loved? Not the stomach here that digests food, love them, care about them. And say my my beloved, I will wait for you at the gates of paradise. I won't be able to go in. You know how you tell them. I can't sleep before you get home. Say I will wait for you. And one day when your kid comes home late. And they're like, Mom, why did you wait up say, I'll go to sleep next time only
because it makes you happy. I will sleep I will be uncomfortable in my bed. Because it makes you happy. So this deteriorating concept of Islam and dads
who found the religion later on in life, give your kids a chance they will explore your child will fall on his face for God's sakes. I've been speaking for nine years and I just said the Prophet, I shadow the olana. Right, I'm exhausted, we make mistakes.
We're going to be doing these things and falling left and right. give your child a chance to fall.
And know for deteriorating households one major thing, love and compassion.
The Tabatha bang used to take their kids by the hand, they would take their kids by the hand and they would bring them to the marketplace. So this is the generation after the generation and would hold their kids hands and take them to the marketplace. This is you taking your kid to the mall taking your kid to Time Square, they would hold the kids hands and say the dancing girls of the marketplace were there. The Victoria's Secret signs were there the cosmopolitans were there in front of them. And they would ask their young kids is this Helen
and the fitrah of the child instead of sheltering them, the fitrah, the young baby would say, Oh, that's disgusting. And then you cultivate that hatred in them, not let them watch whatever they want and talk to whoever they want. And then when they're 13, and Bobby calls for the math homework, a stock for law, his opinion, right? You wrap them up, you put a job on them, you put the job on them after they're 1314 let these things cultivate from the beginning. The second and I would say the most important she quoted it Have you the law that the family that eats together and I must have found a dozen articles that said the family that eats food once a day has less likelihood for
depression, social anxiety and suicide. Oh my beloved friends quote this at the 37th annual economic convention, quote this, the family that prays together, the family that sits together and makes fudger mothership and airasia together, the doors of general will be held open for them and say Where are you? We've been waiting.
one chapter of the Koran, not one chapter of the Quran could be read without Allah subhanaw taala reminding us about prayer, but I will give you the most extreme example.
If you look at the
doctor who left he just spoke to twice before me. He said that in the Quran during Divorce Law, there are what 11 how many eyes Did they say he was? How many eyes Did he say y'all were listening? 14. Okay, and he said the word Bill maroof. Right, like 714 times 11 times this word in the middle of divorce law. And I want you to listen to in the middle of a fallout coma right.
If you get divorced the second time the first time in the middle of it. What is the lesson? What are let's say the entire topic ships in the deteriorating the household that's on the verge of divorce. In the middle of those 14 is what is Allah subhanaw taala say?
Happy Voila. swana want to slow down tea mousse Paul
In the middle of divorce law in the middle of deteriorating households, God says, protect your prayer. pray together, make jamara together. If you just had an argument with your daughter because she walked out of the house wearing makeup, put your difference to the side and say, a long one.
A lot is greater than our argument, finished the prayer and say with your children Allahumma
del Jelani will
then point at your child and say, Hey, no.
You wore makeup. You did something that didn't make me happy. But I still want to see you in gender.
Young people on Thursday nights, sit with your parents. pray the prayer together. Make a shot together. sit together remember a lot together. Ask your dad Baba. Ma What did you read in the Salah? What did you pray in? What What did you read? surah field? What does this mean Baba.
And don't wait for a huge Tafseer see that your parents do those things. In two closing remarks love and affection if your child likes cars, sit and watch it. Look at a road and track with him. Ask him what a Bugatti Veyron is. If your parent is a alhuda, Aigner, sisters, when asked your mom What did you hear? What did sister know sheen and sister Nasreen say in class today, I want to hear about it. Pretend to be interested in what your parents are doing. If your dad liked something about politics, watch 10 minutes Al Jazeera 10 minutes and sit and listen to them. Don't have to take part in the conversation. If you want to be with your family, then love what they love.
Until you have to pretend if you don't care about something your mom does. Watch a cooking show. And find out if you freeze the onions, your eyes, don't look your eyes, don't tear up. Tell your mom something about cooking. And I'm telling you now for everyone who was sitting in waiting for some huge talk, you want khilafah you want all of these 30 thoughts and all of these mazahub that we want to come together to be one, fix our families.
This Islamic State will come running behind us. The establishment of modalities will come running behind us Islamic schools will flourish if one thing works. The fact that our parents and our children get along, when I'm offered something how long I turn to my parents, when my parents don't understand and I said this in the last talk, I will say it here.
Do not become miskeen in front of your kids. If your kids are whispering about something you don't understand. Don't pretend like you know, say my child. You didn't understand this world. I taught you this world. I don't understand what brb means, tell me.
I don't know what it means to poke someone on Facebook. Tell me.
Don't pretend for your child will become dominant upon you. But accept that by sheltering your child. He will feel fine, she will find what is
it that will fill their stomach that will fill their desires. But tell your children
you want mom to wear what that girl's wearing on the magazine cover.
Your child will never look at it the same way.
Ask Ababa. Ask your child. Do you want Baba to act like this? Ask them these famous basketball players ask your kid. Do you want me to do what he did with that girl in Arizona? Do you want me to do that class, I'll be a player. I will be We ask Allah Subhana Allah to give us this opportunity. I genuinely off the cuff. finished my conversation. I am jet lagged out of out of my mind. So I asked Allah, Allah to forgive the Miss utterings of the IRS. I asked the last parent Allah to forgive the Miss utterings of the words. And I asked you to put forgiveness in your heart, for there was nothing more and I said this to the people last night I will say to you, I looked at the garba right before
leaving. And I mentioned chief McQuarrie and his family and I said Oh Allah, I'm leaving this house. I there's nothing more beautiful than this. And in my heart, I felt that there was one more thing beautiful than this. She has Abdulaziz Corey came and said something he's the Dean of hold on for Medina University.
He narrated and he said, the blood of the Muslim is more sacred than the entire garbage. So I opened my eyes before I started this talk and I saw your faces and know that my heart is at peace. I left the garbage but I'm here
Lucky for something better, all Muslims that economic 2011 this conference will happen next year be in LA and the year after your kids kids will attend this conference. My question to you, what will you do when you leave here today? While at the court of law he Akbar, Allahu Allah Mata snarling. jacquela Hayden was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah before you clap our saitec beer out of respect for the global death Muslims and the organization that I would like to represent. This means standing ovation. I would appreciate adults could do the same. Does Zach Allahu
wa salam o aleikum wa rahmatullah la