Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2012 – P18 178C Tafsir Al-Nur 29

Taimiyyah Zubair
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of privacy and privacy when entering someone's house, including not knocking on the door until given permission, knowing who is inside, and not opening a closet. They emphasize the need for clear reasons to go out, privacy for everyone, and respect for privacy. The speakers stress the importance of sharing room and privacy with children, and not giving out sensitive information. They emphasize the need for parents to have control over their children and not give out sensitive information.
AI: Transcript ©
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Surah to know I am number 27.

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All you have believed, do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome had that step new. So what to sell the more Allah earlier and also greet their inhabitants that is best for you, perhaps you will be reminded, in these ayat, Allah subhanaw taala? is teaching us the etiquette of going to somebody's house, or going to somebody's private quarters? And what is the etiquette that do not enter without permission? What should you do? First of all, does that musu? And secondly, to sell Lemo? What's the first step the step nisu. And what is the step nisu. To gain to seek on what is owns familiarity, meaning the one inside is familiar with you. Because if you

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walk in, just like that, even though they know you, because they were not expecting you, what will happen if you walk in without permission, they will get frightened, they will get startled. So had that destiny so and remember that the word destiny so gives us two meanings, right? What's the first meaning? seek permission? And what's the second meaning?

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Make yourself known. Right? So depending on where a person is going, we went into this detail, meaning if a person is visiting somebody's house, then of course, in that case, what is needed permission. But if somebody is going into somebody's room, like for example, office or bedroom, all right, then what is necessary that one must familiarize themselves before entering right? Now notice a word that's new. So does that mean? So this is also applicable when you are planning to go to somebody's house? Meaning when you're thinking about going to somebody's house, think in your mind, ensure and think in your mind that if you go to their house at this time, will they be okay with it?

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Or will they get scared? So, for example, it's midnight, and you feel like, you know, going to your friend's house and talking to her. So at midnight, if you drive over to her house and ring the doorbell and knock on the door, even if you knock very nicely, what will happen to the person inside? Is everything. Okay? Why are you here at this hour? All right. Oh, perhaps they're sleeping. Perhaps they're sleeping, even if they're not sleeping, that is not a time when you go to visit somebody. Right? Likewise, if you know that somebody's got, you know, for instance, guests over or for example, they are busy with something they have their exams going on, or they have a lot of, you

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know, things going on in their life, does it really make sense to go and visit them at a time when they will be resting or at a time when they will be working? Is that appropriate? No. So what that does that nisu make sure ensure that there will be on screen the person will be comfortable having you over the person inside will feel comfortable letting you come in as a visitor so hit that stop me so and when you go, then what should you do to suddenly more Isla Alia greet the people who are at the house? Then he can highroller calm Lala contact Corona for inlanta je Doofy her Hardin and if you do not find anyone there and you go to somebody's house, you knock on the door, you try to get

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permission but there's no answer than what should you do. Do not enter the house until permission has been given to you meaning at any cost do not enter somebody's house without permission. And if it is up to you go back, meaning right now we're busy. We cannot entertain you if you're told to go then what should you do? What does Allah subhanaw taala say? Then go back that is pure for you and Allah is Knowing of what you do.

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Now with regards to these ayat we discussed about the command of is that right is the than seeking permission before going to visit somebody. In a hadith we learned that the Sahaba they asked the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, O Messenger of Allah, we know about giving salam meaning in the ayah we have been told to send him so we know that when we go to somebody's house, we should say salaam, but what is is the nurse, meaning in the IO we are also told had that destiny so what does that mean? The Prophet sallallahu sallam said it is to say Alhamdulillah Allahu Akbar Allah Subhana Allah. What does that mean? Meaning when you go to somebody's house, you're knocking on the door.

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Don't hide somewhere, so that a person has no clue as to who's behind the door.

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What should you do? cough or say something, something by which the person inside will know that it's you. So in this hadith, what do we learn? say Alhamdulillah ye say Alhamdulillah meaning say some

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Word so they hear your voice and they know it is you. You understand, you know, like, sometimes somebody rings the doorbell, and you're not wearing your hijab, right and your hijab is nowhere to be found near the door, it's all the way upstairs and you don't want to open the door and you don't want to go upstairs and get a hijab and then come back. So what do you want to know who's who's on the other side? If it's a woman, I'll just open the door. But if it's a man, then I'll go and get my head out. Right? You know that hold in your door? What is it called?

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Okay, so people, okay, so you're looking through that, but somebody's got their finger on it?

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How on earth? Are you supposed to figure out? Who are they? Right? How are you meant to figure that out? Or if they haven't put their finger on it. They're nowhere to be seen either on the right nor on the left, you're looking from the window, you can't find them. And then you think maybe they're gone. You go back and the doorbell rings again. There's no need to play such tricks. There is no need to play such tricks. Because these tricks I mean, even though they're funny, and they make you laugh, but what happens to the other person?

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What happens with the one inside, they get scared, forget about scared, they get annoyed. I mean, I would get seriously annoyed if somebody comes knocks on my door and then puts their finger on the people.

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Right? It's very annoying. I want to know who you are, should I even open the door or not? Right? So the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he guided us that we should familiarize ourselves acquaint ourselves make ourselves known when we go to somebody's house.

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Now, we learned also that a person when he knocks on the door, or when he rings the doorbell, what should he do? What's the etiquette? Where should he stand?

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On a little bit to the side so that when the door opens his eyes, meaning his vision doesn't go straight inside the house. Right?

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Okay, what if a person is looking into somebody's house from a window? Is that okay? Why not?

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Okay, it's invading somebody's privacy. And what's the reason behind a stick, then? What's the objective? To protect, to preserve people's privacy? Right? So if you're not physically going in, but your eyes are going in, that defeats the purpose of his tea, then. All right. Now on entering somebody's house, let's say, you knocked on the door, they allowed you insight when you go in? Is it correct to cast your glance on people's private possessions?

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So for example, if let's say there's a door, all right, or there's a closet,

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or there is a curtain on a wall, is it okay to you know, move it aside and look what's behind it? Or open the door and look what is inside it? Or open the door and see what is inside? Is that okay? Why not?

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Again, what are we doing then invading somebody's privacy? Remember that a believer his life is sacred, his wealth is sacred. All right. And wealth includes what he owns. So a person's private possessions. If they're not willing to show them to us, we should not look at them without their permission. And this includes cell phones, it includes computers, it includes, you know, email, letters, notes, notebooks, everything, whatever is their private possession, we have no right to open it, we have no right to look inside of it because that would also be committing a sin. Remember, in a hadith the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that mean personal Islam in Maui, Tanco

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mele, or any of the beauty of a person's Islam is that he leaves everything that does not concern him. That does not concern him. So if what was inside the drawer was something of our concern, it wouldn't be inside the drawer. Where would it be? On top of the table? Right? But if somebody put it inside the drawer, what does it mean? It's none of our business. So don't open it. Don't look inside. If somebody's got their phone, password protected. All right, then we have no right to try and unlock. And then what is it and then lock the phone because we failed at unlocking the phone. Right? So this is again invading somebody's privacy and it's basically indulging in things that are

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none of our business. Go ahead

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yeah, sometimes, you know, private journals, or diaries in which you've written your thoughts, your feelings, you know, sometimes if a person finds out that okay, you journal, what is it that you journal, what is it that you write in that journal? Alright, and then, also, you know what it is, we've created this environment of secrecy. Right, my secret diary, and my secret notebook. And my you know, just because we can put a password

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Don't something, we want to put a password. And then when we put a password what happens? Everybody becomes curious what is inside what is in there. And this is also a result of mistrust within family members. Right? There should be respect for people's privacy, but at the same time, there should be no secrecy, right. But we also need to realize where the line is drawn, where we are invading into other people's privacy.

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All right, if a person is entering a house other than his house, does he need permission?

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Okay, what is the definition of your house? So, for example, for a man, what is the definition of his house, the house where his wife lives, okay? But what if with his wife in the same house, his mother also lives, this mother also lives, then in that situation, remember, that even though the house is his right, even though he lives in that house, or he lives with his sisters, all right, still, what should he do before he enters? What should he do? He should either seek permission depending on what time of the day or night it is, or he should familiarize himself, right? Like, for example, at one occasion, a man said to the Prophet salallahu Salam, O Messenger of Allah, shall I

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ask permission of my mother to enter meaning when I'm going to the house? Do I need her permission before I enter? And the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, yes, the man said, I live with her in the house. We share the same house. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said, ask her permission. The man said, I am her servant, meaning I also serve her. She needs my help. He said, ask her permission to Hibou and Tara Orianna 10. Do you want to see her while she is undressed? Meaning it's possible that you just walk in the house without familiarizing yourself making yourself known or seeking permission, and she's in the state of changing records. Is that appropriate? It's not the man said

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no way. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said, then ask her permission. Does the same rule apply on women? When you're going to let's say, your friend's house, your sister's house? Do you need to take permission before you go? Yes, you do. And what's the evidence of that?

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I gave you the evidence.

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Exactly. The Friends of eyeshadow dilemma on her that when they would go to visit her, what would they do? seek permission before coming in? And when she would allow them, then they would come? All right.

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Now one more thing. When you go to visit somebody, and you meet them, you greet them. What's the etiquette of meeting someone? What do we learn in this? Ayah? What's the etiquette of meeting someone

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to suddenly move? Say the salon? All right, now saying the salam does that include hugging the other person three times? Or five times or kissing them? An odd number of times is that included? Let's find out in a hadith in a Timothy we learned that a man asked all messenger of allah sallallahu wasallam when a person meets a brother or a friend, meaning when a man meets a brother or brother in Islam or a friend, whoever should he bow to him, like bend before him. The Prophet saw a lot Islam said no. The man asked, Should he embrace Him meaning hug him or kiss him? The messenger SallAllahu sallam said no. He asked then should he shake his hand? The Prophet sallallahu sallam said yes. So

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what do we learn from this?

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Greeting verbally? That is a must. That is a must. Beyond that, if you shake hands, that is better. That is even better. It's good. Why? What's the benefit of shaking hands? Your sins fall right? Okay. Beyond that, if you wish to hug someone, once, twice, thrice. Is that okay? Is that something that should be done every single time? No. It shouldn't be done every time. But whatever you're seeing somebody after like three weeks? Then what? Then? Sure it it depends, right? Depends on who they are, how close you are to them. Right? So it's not that hugging the other person is forbidden. It's not forbidden. What is meant is that it is not necessary. We should not make our life

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difficult. All right. You know sometimes when you go to a wedding party, and then you see the poor bride, how many people she has to hug and how many people have to kiss her. And then she's fixing her jewelry and her hairstyle. Everything's getting messed up again and again. And the poor girl is exhausted by the end of the day exhausted. All right, because she's had to bend so many times and you know

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hug people so many times give her a break. All right. So when we meet someone, what is sufficient in sha Allah? What is sufficient in sha Allah, shaking hands, all right, and obviously verbally greeting somebody is enough inshallah. Also one more thing when a person goes to see somebody and they're leaving before leaving also what is necessary, seeking permission, so seek permission before going and seek permission before leaving in a hadith we learn. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said either Hazara or Docomo, who, for jealous are in the WHO Falaya Coleman Nahata is that you know, that when one of you visits his brother, and he sits with him, meaning he goes to his house sits

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with him, then he should not get up and leave except after permission. Because otherwise it's rude. If you get up and leave in the middle, without permission, and permission doesn't mean May I go? Do you allow me to go now? Permission could also mean, okay, I'm gonna get going now. All right, Inshallah, I'll see you soon. And sometimes you don't even have to communicate that verbally. Because what if it's a huge crowd, right? So you can even do something like

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right from far you can even like, you know, waive, all right, and just say, say something out with your mouth so that the other person understands that, okay, you're leaving now. Right? Likewise, you know, when we're sitting in the class, and if you have to go, don't just walk out, because I don't know what's going on. Right? I don't know what's going on why you're getting up walking in the class going to the back coming back in. It's inappropriate that when people are sitting in a gathering, one person just gets up and leaves. So when you have to go, just look at me, okay? Look at me, and you know, hold your bag or something. So that I know that you really gotta go, okay? And I don't

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feel like maybe you're upset with me, or you got angry because of what I said, or you disagree with me, or you're getting extremely bored. You know? Because think about it, if I'm teaching you, and all of a sudden, you just get up and go, What message does that give me? What message does that give me? Either you're not interested in class, right? Or you disagree with me, or you don't care about the fact that I'm standing here teaching you, it's hurtful.

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It's very hurtful. So when you have to go, Inshallah, I'll make sure that I look around at everybody even more. Just look at me in the eye. That's it, and hold your bag or something so that I know that you have to go in sha Allah, can we do that? Okay. And then sometimes I see somebody at the beginning of the class, and then I'm looking for them, where did they go? What's going on? Where are they and they're nowhere to be found. There's no sign of them. Right? And I mean, my shop, there's some of you who, you know, who come and tell me before class that I will have to leave early today. And they informed me and I think that that is very, very, mashallah nice of them. Because there's no

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misunderstanding, right? Because think about it, if I oughta left in the middle, how would that be?

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Would that be fair to you? So then vice versa, right. Anyway, let's continue. Now in the following video, we are taught the etiquette of visiting a public place. What's the etiquette Allah subhanaw taala says lay Sally calm Janardhan laser, there is not our light come on, you do not own any sin. There is absolutely no blame on you. You're not committing a sin. And third, hello, boo, you turn that you enter boot boot is a plural of bait. What is bait? A house. So there is no harm on you. If you enter a house, which kind of a house that is laid on a schooner that is laid or not must gonna one inhabited. My school is from second a second, I used to live somewhere. So my school now is that

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which is inhabited by people, a place where people live. So some places they are you can say residential units, right? People reside over there. And then there's some other places which are public places. All right. So for example, one is a house. And another is a masjid, a mall, an office building. It's a public place. So when you're going to a public place, a place that is laid on the screen and nobody lives there. It's not somebody's house. There's no harm if you go there, meaning if you enter without permission.

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All right. And obviously if you're going to a public place, there should be a good enough reason. What does Allah subhanaw taala say fee has in it meaning in that house in that place? is matter of law, calm, some benefit for you, meaning you've got some business there. You have a legit reason to go there.

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Because otherwise, it doesn't make sense.

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You just walk into Tim Hortons. All right? And you just sit there.

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You didn't use the bathroom, you didn't buy a coffee, you didn't get a water bottle. You're just sitting there. All right? I mean, if you're sitting there for hours and hours, people would wonder what's wrong with you? What are you doing over here, and especially when there are people standing in a looking for a place where they can sit? You understand. And certain restaurants like you know, it is said that you can't just come in to use the bathroom. You can't bring in any outside food, right? So you've got to have a good enough reason to go there. Fee hamata are law calm. And this teaches us that if you don't have any business somewhere, then don't go there. Because otherwise

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people will be suspicious. They will be annoyed by your presence. Right? Like, for example, if you go to a school, let's say an Islamic weekend school, like for example, a little bit. All right. Now, either you're here because you have you're gonna attend class, right? Or you're here because you have some work to do. And if it's neither, and a person is just sitting in the, let's say, somewhere in the hallway, and talking chatting, then what does that do? It creates a very casual atmosphere. I mean, people are leaving their homes on Saturday morning to come and study. We should have respect for that. Right? It's not appropriate that we stand around in the hallways, sit around in the

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cafeteria, talking loudly on the phone disturbing people who are working disturbing people who are studying. This is something that does not befit a person who is focused on his life. Alright, so fi hematol loco will love Liana Mo and Allah knows Magdalena, that which you reveal when I talk to moon and that which you conceal. Allah knows what you express. And Allah knows what you keep in your heart. So fear Him because nothing of your affairs, nothing of your matters is hidden from Allah azza wa jal.

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So what do we learn from this, that when you go to a public place, you don't need to seek permission before entering? And if we start doing that, then what would happen to the person at the front desk? Would they be able to do any work? No way. So for example, imagine at the front desk at the reception, there's a person sitting and then on the door, you know, one person comes and knocks. May I come in? And she says, Yeah, okay, for sure your student here I go in. And then 299 People also come in one by one and each person knocks on the door. Is that fair to the person sitting at the reception? No way. So there's no need to seek permission. However, there should be a reason for us

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to go and visit such a place. All right. Now, from all of these verses, what do we understand?

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What lesson do we learn? Main thing,

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respect other people's privacy and seek permission where permission needs to be sought.

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Respect the rules that have been set.

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You know, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he went for Mara lodge when he was going up in the skies with Angel Jibreel.

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Remember what happened? The first sky when they reached there Gibreel knocked on the door. And the gatekeeper asked Who is it? And Gibreel said it's Jibreel who is with you? It is Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has he been sent for?

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Yes, he has been sent for okay, then the door is open and this happened how many times for each sky this happened.

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If Rasul allah sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam and Gibreel are following this etiquette, seeking permission before entering. Then what about us? Who are we?

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Who are we? If a door is closed, it says no entry. If it says that only authorized personnel or whoever may go beyond this door, then who are we to just open the door and barge in and if we're told to go, then we got offended. If Angel Jibreel Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam are observing the etiquette of estate then then the same goes for us. We must also observe the etiquette off is

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and you notice something that these ayat begin with which address what does Allah subhanaw taala say Yeah, are you Alladhina amanu or you who have believed and what does it mean that the command that has been given you better observe it? Because this is a requirement of your Eman?

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This is something that your Eman demands, if you don't observe it, then what does it mean? There's deficiency in your faith. So the more a person observe is the than the greater his Eman will be.

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And the less a person observes is then then the weaker his Eman will be.

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Let's listen to the recitation of the last day. Ladies.

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dofollow. Boy, oh, boy, schooner

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walawe. who

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talk to? Yes, go ahead. Go ahead.

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Okay, so the question is that if it's somebody's bedroom, all right, and you knock on the door, and they're not in sight, but you need to do something. Is it okay for you to go in? Or do you need their permission before you go in?

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It depends on who you are and how they're related to you. All right. So for example, if it's your sister, she's single. All right. She lives in the same house as you just in a different room, you have her laundry basket, all right, and you want to put it in her room. You knock on the door, it's nighttime, okay? She's not there. The door is closed, and you realize, oh, she's away. She's not home. All right, then what can you do, you can open the door and put the laundry basket in. But again, respect her other possessions. Now, don't take it as your ultimate chance to go through her closet and see what stuff she's got in her drawers. And you know, what's in her bookshelf? And

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what's on her computer? No, don't do that. All right. If on the other hand, if it's a married person, let's say it's your brother's room and your brother is married, he's living in the same house as you. And the couple is out, you know, for a dinner. And you have, let's say their stuff that you want to put in the room. Okay, now, again, it depends what time of the day it is or what time of the evening? It is. Do they mind when you go in their room? Or are they cool with it? Because you see it depending on your relationship, depending on the situation that you're in, a person might be comfortable having you go in the room, another person might not be comfortable. So

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always think, would they be okay? If I put their laundry in their room? Would they be okay? If I took something from the room, if you feel like they might not be 100% cool with it, then don't go Tonko. And if you feel like there's absolutely no problem, then go ahead and put what you have to put or take what you have to take as long as they're okay with it.

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Of course, when the room is shared, then that's a different situation, right? You share your room with your sister. If she has closed the door, and you're outside, then don't just walk in, hey, this is my room as well. You know, she's changing possible, right? So before you enter, here is everything. Okay? And then just walking, unless he stops you. Okay? Yes, go ahead.

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Okay, the question is our parents allowed to go through their kids stuff?

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Mother is what do you think? What do you do? Not think what do you do?

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Okay, yes.

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Even then, I always asked. And even if I want to check something, I have always tried to build a relationship of confidence that they should not hide anything. So my daughter, even if she is then habit of writing diaries, sometimes she's hiding some other time when she's also sharing when she comes to me, and she asked advices and things like that. I think that making a bond is much important. Even your children are exactly.

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Yes, I'm getting into their stuff. I always yeah, technically speaking, in our bodies, we learn that until we're maluca li a beaker that you and your wealth belongs to your father. This doesn't mean that parents own children, and they can sell them whatever. No, it means that they have authority over their children. All right. And children should cannot hide stuff from their parents, because parents are responsible. So if a parent feels the need to go through their child's bed, and their child is sleeping, now they don't have to wait until the morning better. Can I open your agenda and see what your teacher wrote? No, it's understood that you as a parent, you have to go through your

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kids agenda. You have to go through your your child's bag, right? But remember that like the sister mentioned, that have such an open relationship with your children that there is no need to hide stuff. There is no need to hide stuff and don't do things behind your kids back because when you will do things behind your kids back what will they do? They will do the same. I remember when I was growing up, my parents have they had to go through anything of my they would do it in front of me. In front of me. Like for example my school bag. You know once your bag is full of books and notebooks and papers and God knows what garbage Am I am

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Other should regularly check my bag what's inside the bag, because sometimes you've got stuff in your bag and you don't even realize there's a rotten sandwich at the bottom of your bag, right? So who's gonna take that out, you're never going to do it, your mother's going to do it. I mean, she would, as I'm studying, doing my work, she would empty out the whole bag in front of me as she's helping me with my homework. And there is no secret between me and my mom, there is no secret between, you know, parents and children. If you want to ask something from your children, ask them don't do it behind their back. But of course, as they grow older, as they grow older, you should

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respect their privacy, you should respect that. Because if you are invading their privacy, What lesson are you giving them?

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That through force through your power, go and invade other people's privacy, you're sending them a wrong message. So if you want to go to your kids phone, if you want to go to your kids email, ask them, ask them to open it. Sometimes they will share and sometimes they do not want to share have such an open relationship that they don't mind sharing their password with you. I remember this one lady telling me that she knows her daughter's email password, her Facebook password, everything she knows. And there's such a, you know, relationship of trust between the two, that the mother is not always checking her email. Okay, who is she emailing? And who is she texting? And? And who is she

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friends with on Facebook? I mean, what's going on here? No, the mother is not constantly stalking her, then the daughter is not hiding from her mother either. Go ahead.

00:31:36 --> 00:32:11

Yeah, I mean, the thing is that when children are young, unfortunately, we ignore them. We ignore them. We don't set any rules. And then what happens as they grow older, all of a sudden, you realize, oh, my God, she's almost 18. And she's talking about going away to college, and she's talking about moving away, and she's talking about marriage, and you feel like you're losing control. And then all of a sudden, you want access to her phone and you want access to her email, she's never going to give it to you. You've ignored her her whole childhood, never given importance to what she feels and what she wants to say. She has always been forced, she's not going to trust

00:32:11 --> 00:32:45

you. So it's very important that we communicate with our children from a very young age, so that as they grow older, they don't need to hide from us. And many times children want to hide from their parents when they're afraid. When they're afraid that what I'm going to say is not going to be welcomed. You know, for example, a child they pick up on some funny word, right? And they say it and you're like Oh stop it Allah wash your tongue dirty tongue. At next time, the child is never going to say that in front of you. Who isn't going to say that word in front of his friends and everybody's gonna get go bigger. Right?

00:32:46 --> 00:32:46

Go ahead.

00:32:49 --> 00:32:53

seek permission, you're seeking permission. Exactly.

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So they will also learn to ask permission every time they do exactly when you will share with them when you will consult them when you will trust them. They will also share with you consult you trust us seek your permission. It's a two way street.

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You know, it's got to come from both ways. So we're parents need to be more respectful of their children. Children also need to be inshallah trusting of their parents.

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Subhan Allah will be handy Kenisha de la ilaha illa Anta Nesta Furukawa to be like a sinner more eco rahmatullahi wa barakato

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