Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2012 – P16 160E Tafsir Ta-Ha 71-76

Taimiyyah Zubair
AI: Summary © The importance of parents' permission to control their children is discussed, as well as the use of language to assert their own beliefs. The segment also touches on the belief that Allah is the creator and the gods he worship. The importance of acknowledging one's faults and denying them, as well as finding intelligent friends and avoiding limiting personal growth is emphasized. The speaker emphasizes the need for quick solutions to problems and finding intelligent friends and finding a balance between work and personal life. The importance of learning to be skillful in life is also emphasized.
AI: Transcript ©
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Allah for only got very upset over here. He said, I'm on Tumblr who you believed in his cobbler and era calm before I even allowed you. How dare you believe in Musa without taking my permission? Does this remind you of something? Who says to you, but you never asked me? I never allowed you.

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Okay, parents? Are you a parent? Okay? So see a parent is saying that this is something that parents say, meeting people in authority people who really, you know, want to control, right? For a good reason or a bad reason. The reason that's not something that we're discussing here, but people in authority, they demand that nothing be done, except by their permission. Now, there are many things for which obviously, you need permission. So for instance, if you want to take your dad's car, you better take his permission. Right? If you want to invite 15 friends over for Super Bowl or your brother, rather than he better take permission, right? Or if you want to go out to party somewhere,

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then you better take permission. But what happens if someone starts to control your life to such an extent that they don't allow you to wear certain shoes? They don't allow you to wear certain clothes. Do you know a party somewhere?

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What happens you feel suffocated? You're like, Come on, I'm an adult. Now I can decide for myself which hijab I should wear. I can decide for myself, if I should wear my pink dress clothes are my purple dress clothes? Why do I need your permission all the time? Right? So we see that fit our own, he controlled his people so much that he didn't even give them the freedom of choice when it came to faith. When it came to belief, they weren't allowed to change their beliefs without his permission. And this is something that we need to take lesson from. And I'm specially speaking to the mothers and the adults over here. And the big siblings also, okay? That just because you're older, and just

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because you own the house, and just because you are of a higher status in the family, doesn't mean you dictate everything in that house in that family. You know, it's amazing. Sometimes a person who is 25 years old, he even has a wife.

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But the mother is deciding what the son should wear and what the daughter in law should wear and where they should go and how long they should go for. Come on, let them grow up. Let them make mistakes. So much so that parents are deciding if the couple's should even have a child or not. Who are we to decide? Give them their freedom, give them their The will that Allah subhanaw taala has given them this is unfair. This is like being a fifth our own in the house. You can't eat this. You can't cook this. You can't bake this. You can't put the dishes here. You can't wash them this way. And you can't turn the dishwasher on in this way. I mean, okay, there are certain rules that

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everybody needs to abide by. But what's the big deal if the, you know, washing soap was put here instead of there? What's the big deal of the dishes were washed in this way or that way? What's the big deal if your son wore blue pants or black pants? What is it? Come on, make your life easy and make the life of other people easy as well. Trust them, let them take responsibility of themselves. Let them grow up, let them make mistakes, give them their space so that their mind can function. Then unfortunately, when we try to become like a fit our own in the house, then that is when our relationship with our most loved ones is ruined, ruined completely give space. Give space to people

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don't control their lives completely. So for their own, what did he do over here? He said, I'm into law of land and how dare you believe without my permission? He said in the Holika Bureau calm Indeed he is surely your leader, your COVID

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Who is your Kabir Musa? He is your leader. Olivia Hola, como se. And he's taught you all this magic. See that his stick turned into a snake and you also did the same thing. And it was just a short, really Musar lesson and when did he meet the magicians before this day? When did he teach the magic? He was in Medina and for so many years? How could he be their leader? But propaganda propaganda you see fit our own doing that. He's saying things that are completely baseless, completely baseless.

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And he threatens them he says follow okok Deanna ADEA calm I will surely definitely cut your hands will Abdullah come on your feet mentally laughing from opposite sides. So for some people, the right hand and your left foot for other people, their left hand and their right foot while it will slowly burn the corner. I'm not going to leave you there. I'm going to kill you. I'm not going to kill you in a very easy way in a very quick and efficient way. No, I'm going to crucify you. Feed your door enough.

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In the trunks of dead pumps do nor is Florida we have done all of these words before this is why I'm not going into the detail of every single word. Well Atari la Monica and surely you will definitely know a you Now which of us is a shut door 11 Whatever pa which of us is more severe in punishment and is more lasting. In other words, he's comparing himself with the God of Musa he's comparing himself with Allah subhanaw taala he says, Okay, this is my punishment. Musa told you that if you do this magic, his God will exterminate you. Okay, let's see whose punishment is worse, whose punishment is greater. My punishment is greater, or the punishment of Musa as God is greater is

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competing with Allah subhanho wa Taala Munna a Yuna, a shudder 11. And let's see, you will find out who is Abacha more lasting? Meaning who will remain for long do I win? Or Musa wins? Let's see. You see the arrogance and pride that this man has followed this ad London firaga we shall never prefer you are Allah over magia. And now what has come to us middle begging out of clear proofs. Look at the response of the magician's clear evidence has come to us we're never going to prefer you over the hawk. And we're never going to prefer you, one lady and over the one who fatahna who created us, we're never going to prefer you over this truth that has come to us. And we're never going to prefer

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you over the one who made us. You see the magicians they recognize to Allah subhanaw taala is he made us fit our own didn't make us there's a clear difference between Allah subhanaw taala and other gods that people claim and what is that? Allah is the creator and the gods that others worship. They are not creators, when Lady Fatah Rana and they say faculty go ahead and decree man under called whatever you are going to decree calling, call the have you heard of the word call the who is called the judge? No. So they say go ahead and decree whatever you are going to decree to the sound of Fred. They seem to be fearless in them. Indeed not But Dr. Lee you only decree concerning how the

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he'll hire the dunya concerning this life of dunya. Meaning what are you going to do? You're going to kill us? Fine. Go ahead. What are you going to do? Whatever you decree, it's only going to be effective in this life in this world. It's not going to continue forever. And whatever you do, you can only do here right now. Not later in the life hereafter. And this belief, it brings so much hope and so much confidence. It makes the person fearless. What is going to happen? What's the most that can happen? What's the maximum that can happen? I'll die. Okay, fine.

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What is going to happen? You're going to take my money away, you're going to take my stuff away. Why? It's only things of this world. And this dunya How much does it matter? It's temporary anyway. So forth Halima and Doc called inadequately how they will hire to dunya you know this realization that in that Allah he were in LA Raju, we are going to return to Him.

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This belief in Accra, in the hereafter it makes a person confident. This is why Allah says Allah in the earlier Allah the joven RLA him no fear on them they're not afraid. They said in Europe Bina we have believed in our Lord. We're not going to believe in you for now. We're not going to be afraid of you. We're not going to change just because of you. We believe in our Lord Leal filho Alana hatha yoga and so that He may forgive us our sins. We hope that God will forgive us for our mistakes. And does Allah forgive? Yes, especially the person who embraces Islam, his previous sins are forgiven, not just forgiven, they're converted into good deeds. Imagine that his life is not wasted. So for

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example, if a person that 40 years as a disbeliever and then in this 41st year he decides to become a believer, then what happens? It's as if 40 years of his life are canceled.

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Everything is converted into good everything is converted into good iliofemoral Anahata Anna

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and we also hope that he will forgive us for women and for that which ucraft Anna, you forced us or lay on it Minister of Magic meaning you compel us to perform magic. You forced us to do magic.

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So we hope that Allah will forgive us for that, well Allah Who Hadron and Allah is better. You say? Because look at the words of Finneran right, he said

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While at Ala Moana unit a shut door either been right which of us is severe and punishment, the magician say Wallah who hired on Allah is better than you. And he is also what our call and he is more enduring, he will remain forever because Kulu che him Halleck everything will die in Lohja except him Allah will remain, and everything else will finish.

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Allah subhanaw taala says, in the who, indeed he may do whoever comes robber who to his Lord, would You remain as a criminal?

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Whoever comes to Allah as a criminal, meaning someone with sins on his record, for in Allah Who Jahannam then indeed for him as * lay a motif here, he shall not die in it while you're here, nor shall he live, the one who shows up on the day of judgment as a criminal, someone who has not repented

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than his home has held wherein he shall never die,

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nor will he live.

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Imagine neither dead nor alive. Have you ever seen people who are in a state like that, like literally in a vegetative state, like they're not living life as it should be lived, and they're not even dead yet.

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And if you see a person in a state like that, it makes you feel so bad for them, that you almost want to pray that Oh Allah, please give them death.

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Because every moment is so painful for them.

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Right? And this is just dunya

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and a person who is in a state like right is probably bumped up on a lot of drugs or something to kill that pain or to deal with that bait. There's always something

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but imagine Hellfire lair move to fie while you're here.

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And on the other hand, will may yet to hear Minam whoever comes to him as a believer powdermill of salejaw who has done good deeds for Allah extend those law home for them at the Raja to the ruler Adonijah ranks that are a ruler, highest ruler is the feminine form of our Allah for Allah highest or Allah highest. So those for them our highest ranks were Janna to Arden in Gardens of Eternity. That Journeyman 30 Hill and her beneath which rivers flow Holly Dena fee her abiding there in eternally with their Lika and that is Jezza reward for who? Look at the I read it. Man does zecca the one who purifies himself.

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Jana is for who? The one who purifies himself, what is purification? What does that imply?

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That the substance or the thing that you're trying to purify is not clean? Right? It's not clean, which is why you need to purify it. So there are problems. So the first step to purification is recognizing that acknowledging one's faults, or acknowledging one's error. The Magician's did they acknowledge there? They did. They did. When they saw the miracle that masala salon performed, they recognized immediately that what they were upon this falsehood, and they didn't recognize it. They also left it, they said we don't want it anymore. And that's a second step to purification that is leaving, leaving the filth

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that your life is or your heart is tainted with leave it abandoning, no matter what it costs. And then what did they do? The Magicians they left that shook they left that magic and then they remain firm.

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They remain firm upon the hook. And that is a third step to purification replacing that filled with something good. So three steps to purification one is acknowledging that there is some cleaning required over here. Secondly, throwing away the garbage.

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And thirdly, replacing that garbage with good stuff. And the one who purifies his life like this than Jana is for him.

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Jana is for him. It is not for people who live with garbage in their lives. So we ignore that garbage who don't get rid of that garbage. They fill their lives with more garbage No.

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Recognize that. Yes, I need to improve myself on this. I need to get rid of this bad habit. I still need to wear this I still need to do this. Recognize it first and foremost. Then do something towards self purification. The one who does that John nice for him. Let's listen to the recitation of these verses. All

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liwan At our lemon Wallah.

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All olan Xerocon

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well Polina

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all in only the new hire Dunia in

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whoa Are you

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a whole module

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more to

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von Indien

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any reflections okay over here

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this is stuck me in my mind for LTSR suggestion collude, Amina did a Bihar no Musa when the Imam enters in the heart you become brave and you're not scared of anyone and they are not scared of Iran they said that we believe on Harun Musa and the Lord of Holland Yes. So never feel yourself shy being a Muslim saying I'm Muslim and practice also as Muslim. Allah will cost you some courage and breathe and light in your heart inshallah. But the condition is you have to believe yourself first and the people will be of course, they will impressed by you. They will respect you. So this is very powerful. Yes, very true that for all piercer hello to soja imagine fit our own is watching them.

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And then they just failed basically that competition and Eman entered the heart so they just fell into do it took all their fear away. It brought them so much courage. Sinhala Salah marlington, I was thinking about the magic Allah subhanaw taala he gave us the desert of the Orion right? So whenever we feel like somebody did magic in us, we have to cure it with the Quran because the Quran is

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and I was listening to the lecture on the sheer horror scene. This woman she went to the Shere Khan, she said, My husband, he's not interested in me and I won like something to keep him with me. Please, everybody, listen. Very interesting story. He told her Okay, he's not magician but he's mashallah knowledgeable. He said, Okay, go get me. Three hair from the line. Sensory hair. Okay. So she went after week or something, she gets rehab. And then he said, How did you do it? And he's she said, the first day I started giving him meat and then the media, she started giving him meat and food. She started being friendly. And then start she's slowly slowly shipping the hair to the to the

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man to the chef. And then he said, Hear about her. Just slowly, slowly be nice to your husband, and then he will be okay. Yes, very true. This is so true.

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Did you understand the story? You see many times it happens that there is a problem that we have in our life, and we want a quick solution to it. We don't want to acknowledge that we are causing the problem or it's because of our shortcomings. But we want a quick solution. So we turn towards you know, we ask people to tell me something that I can say 100,000 times, right or do you know of anyone who can do them on here anybody who can you know do something for my family, people turn towards magic for solutions. Right? Whereas the solution is where? In the Quran?

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The solution is in the Quran. That is what we need to turn to to fix our lives. I just thought it was a little bit

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Amazing how it started off with a conversation between Melissa 37 found but then Allah subhana wa Tada focused on the response of the magicians and how when Iman entered their how it's how they change and it didn't focus on like how most of they send reacted, but I don't know it was just really cool how it just shifted that Masada Sinha was addressing with our own, he was dealing with him directly, right. But then he didn't ignore the magicians in the middle. He also warned them if Iran didn't believe he didn't change, but the magicians did. Right? So never be afraid. Because you never know the person whom you're not focusing on somebody else they might benefit.

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Hearing about the magician's, I thought about how we need to be really picky about our company. And if we can find Muslim friends, then at least find intelligent friends who can actually like use their logic, like don't become friends with like the so called followers, like find leaders, because those are people who actually use their brains and like, you know what? Yeah.

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I was telling him, I just have two quick things to share. First is when you were talking about the authority, and how when we think are so vague and stuff, I'll take one perspective, actually, I'll take two perspective, as an older sister in the house, I always boss my sisters around. And now as a wife, i Boss my husband around because I can't, like you know, it's just, this is a saying like, you know, wives are have to babysit the husband. And then recently I came to a realization, I was like, what, what am I doing? This is not right. He's himself. And I myself and we both have our differences, and we have to accept to live with each other and stuff. And see what my sisters, you

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know, I realized, like, you know, everybody functions in a different way. Just because we're older, we have a bigger hand on the other doesn't mean we have to overtake them all the time. Second thing as a sister was mentioning, you know, when a man really enters your heart, you feel confident and you feel powerful in what you started with, like, recently, you know, US history came up to me, and like, I sometimes just talked to a couple of sisters about business world corporate world and how it's like, you know, we should go about with our dean and like, how to balance it and stuff. And so he came up to me, she's like, you know, I'm wearing this for my conferences, you think it would be

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okay? And it was just, like, you know, dress wear tights and stuff, like a shorter dress, right? And I was like, you know, like, how, why are you going to dress up in such a way like that selling yourself rather than your skills and sock? And was she told me that? Oh, but people around me told me that a buyer is not professional, and told her I'm like, you know, I wore a buyer for two and a half years in corporate world. I started with the VPs of nobody questioned and that's because I was confident I was I had in mind and stuff. Don't let people tell you what they want. Everybody has their own perspective and stuff. You just have to believe hardcore in you know, Islam and stand by

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it only that's gonna give you confidence. Very true. Because when we lack that confidence, then we become very impressionable and whatever people tell us to do we do it, whatever they want us to say we say it, that we have no identity.

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Salaam aleikum are one of my friend he's sick and he has cancer. And what his mother does she recite Quran and stuff, other things, and she blow in the water and he drinks water. So I'm just wondering, like, is it something right to do? As long as it's just Quran? Okay, okay, as long as it's just Quran, not something else. All right.

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Because Quran is Shiva.

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Over here,

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Sonic along

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with the lesson I learned from the story of masa is he was a human because he got scared in himself. That means we human, we have the fear in ourselves when something is going to happen. But that doesn't mean you have to show other people like the fear. Don't you confer hidden the SPI in his hat? It didn't show them. Very true. That's a very important lesson to take over there.

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Raise your hand higher.

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I don't really have my thoughts organized. But the first thing I want to say that when the magician said that, oh, they're just two magicians, right? They're like, homegrown, and was Islam. They're just magicians. But I was thinking that why would the fair on like, the most authoritative person in the whole like land? Why would he conjure up so many people for just two magicians, if they were really just two magicians that he wouldn't really care about them? And there's like, Oh, that's okay. But we see that he did care about them a lot. And we know that that's the truth because yes, yeah. Yeah.

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And honestly, if you look at it from the surface was two men with one stick. What's the big deal here? Why are you so afraid? Why do you feel so threatened? I mean, this is why

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Why people are afraid of Islam so much, right? One Muslim woman walks in and everybody's afraid. One was the man walks in, everybody's afraid. Why? What's the big deal? Because how, you know, it really fills people's hearts with fear.

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Also, when the magician's before they accepted, like, the truth, they were organized and they had the skill. So what I learned from it is that just because you say that you're a Muslim, just because you have the mind doesn't mean that you have the values of a Muslim. So we have to have those values and stuff with like, as a person before, we think that Oh, yeah. People yes, that just because we are focused on our faith doesn't mean we forget other aspects of our faith because organization and discipline is a big part of our faith. I mean, if you think about it Salah in Jamar, what is that? enrols. Right? The Prophet saw a lot of time was so organized. So sometimes we think the only thing

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that is necessary and important is Riba the Quran? Yes, it is. But along with that, being organized, salam alaikum the one lesson that I picked up and it's been going on in my head is that when their own asked Musa Sam, you know what happened in the previous nations? Right? And how he answered I think it was really really beautiful. Like he didn't downsize the dean or he didn't, you know, cut off parts. He said, What was technically the truth that, you know, Allah knows best and he doesn't forget nor and he's not unjust, right? He knows who did what and who deserves what Allah knows best. We don't know that. So I think I mean, it's so applicable to me when I go to school, right? Many

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times we get questioned about, you know, small little things. And especially like Mother Teresa is a common example, Gandhi's A common example, right? And you know, these people if your religion says that Muslims only go to * them, I mean heaven, then every other person must be going to * and then many times we end up compromising on the deen so that we don't lose them for the sake of Allah. But over here, Allah gives example that you don't need to do that. You can just leave it to Allah say that, you know, Allah will judge according to what is right. And one more thing we've seen the response of Musa al Salaam is that he goes back to what he was saying, right? That he continues

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describing who Allah subhanaw taala is, so sometimes it may happen that you are talking to someone and there is a person with nail polish on their nails and no hijab and somebody asks, well, are you allowed to wear nail polish? Is her job necessary? What can you say at that time? That this is not the topic of our discussion right now? We're actually discussing something else. Inshallah we'll deal with that at some other point. I just wanted to point out how yesterday we were learning about how Allah He plans everything for you. And in the story of Musa Ali salaam, the magicians, they were forced to do magic by Iran. And if they hadn't been forced to do it, they wouldn't have realized

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what Musa al Islam was showing them was really a miracle. And it wasn't just magic. Yes, yes, very true. Because you see, sometimes we draw closer to Allah subhanaw taala through the biggest mistakes that we've made.

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As like, I was just reflecting over how all spawns are specifically mentioned that Musa is that, um, felt afraid. And then he directed him back to something familiar with his staff in his hand, which was a miracle. And again, that's reflective of us when we feel nervous or scared or anxious and be very natural feeling by the Quran, which we're familiar with is something that we should be turning to. Yes. So I was just remembering the statement of O'Meara de la han honey said that national government as an Allahu Islam, like, Allah gave us honor with our religion. And if we try to find it in any other way, by like us as a community, if we try to seek our honor through some anything other

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than religion, we can't find honor any other way.

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At the back. I said, ironically, when I moved to LA when I got to, one thing that really overwhelmed me was the doors of mercy of Allah, these were musicians of their own. And what we don't realize on a daily basis is shaytan tricks us if we missed Fajr, if we hurt somebody if we deceived, if we bribed back by did, we sometimes avoid looking at our sin, even forgetting about our sin, but never going back to Allah and making Toba and these people who definitely had a huge sin on their heart, and in their actions made that bind Allah so what I thought I loved that there was so much that he included it in the Quran, word by word. So I think never lose hope in the Mercy of Allah because the

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greater the sin, the more the reward if you return.

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True. Okay, all the way in the front, please.

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So there's this page on Instagram called Muslims of the world. And this is like Muslims from like, around the world to post their picture and they like say a story of themselves. So this is one girl who like she's not a hijab, but like She tries her best to be a good Muslim. And one day she was in like, I don't know, like a food cart or something. She saw almost a man who was eating food and was like pork. And when she went to short to go tell him like a preposition to tell him so she just told him anyway

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So when she went to go tell him what you're eating has pork in it, he looked at her and goes, like, are you wearing a hijab, and you just continue to make her feel guilty, that she's not wearing a hijab and just continued eating his meal. So if somebody like tells you something about Islam, like, don't just judge them, think about yourself and like

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because we focus on other people's mistakes, and the first step to improvement is realizing our own mistake. And this also teaches us that before we just because we're not doing something doesn't mean that we have no right to remind other people. I mean, we should also remind others, but at the same time, also look at yourself. It's easy to find fault in other people, but what about ourselves, and very much related to what the sister just said, it's when we talk about family, Sally, her. So saying the right thing, but it needs to be said in the right place. And the right timing is usually important too. So that you don't like have people turn away from the right message like your, maybe

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your intention is not to embarrass them. But you don't place people in positions where you embarrass people. And sometimes, I mean, that happens even it could be in a mosque or something. Or maybe you will have a young person come in and somebody look fashionable or not dressed up properly. So if somebody just pick on them and start telling him though you're praying right, or you're not dressed up, right, maybe they will never come again. And this one is very much related to what we talked about how to be in the family for adults, too. And sometimes the way we address our own children, we kind of have them turn away. And shaytan has his own ways. And he tries to take us away from the

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right path. And sometimes we are trying to do the right thing. But we are having people turn away. So sometimes we adults forget that we need to learn it to proper ways of doing things towards our families, to our children to bring them back or do things and it doesn't have to be boring.

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Does that

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mean it's quite possible that you are 100%? Right? But just because you adopt the wrong methodology, you turn somebody away. Right? So the question that Musar Lisanna was asked from Abaddon Curonian. Allah, what was the answer mean? It was 100%. True, whatever Masada some would say. But he was wise over there. And he adopted the right methodology. So it's not about what you say, but how you say and when you say

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so why don't you come today and I have that really stood out to me and I shall I plan to share with my family is that China is for the one who purifies themselves. Delica discernment is the one who puts effort and strives to prove by himself is the one who's gonna get China and the path of China is not easy. And we have to strive in order to get it. Yes. Because

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I was just thinking that even though you Musa recent, um, he was going to the pharaoh, right? It was a big deal. Right? So even though he was going ALLAH SubhanA, Allah reminded him that remember the attitude of a Muslim, remember the characteristics of a Muslim, you know, when you're going to him still be gentle, still talk to him nicely, right? When you're going to him don't become arrogant, still be confident, but yes, and don't be negligent in my they could.

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Over there. Okay, go ahead, please. Please listen, everybody has been talks. And I cannot resist myself, you know, if you have that conviction, if you have the knowledge of Quran if you have the knowledge of the dunya and you're organized, and you're focused for Jana. So you guys, I just wanted to give you a tip because there is no course to be skillful as a marital life. Quran is the best way to learn how to be skillful. And I know somebody that the wife was so focused and praying and fulfilling his all the duties and the husband was very, very aggressive, very high tempered. And with when people ask that what's happened, you said I'm scared of this lady.

00:33:58 --> 00:34:01

You know, because he said he was scared of his wife.

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But something, something something you know, if you are focused, that was conditioned, you have to be focused, that is the tip and skill of the marital life.

00:34:14 --> 00:34:15

Salam aleikum.

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For me to exam I'm very happy. I feel like the Quran was talking to me today. Because I had an argument with my married son yesterday. And the younger one told me mom when he left. He said, Mom, can I said something? And I said, No, no, no, I'm the mother. You keep quiet. Then.

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Then I realized, no, I'm not directing him properly. Then I said, Okay, come and talk to me. And then he said to me, mom, both of you are right. But both of you misunderstood each other completely. I was paying attention to your conversation. And he's right, and you're right. But both of you are same similar. You're both thick headed.

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you both feel you're right. And then I said, I don't feel like you're telling me anything. I'm still the mother, you still have to listen to me. And subhanAllah, my son who's married, he left. And I thought to myself, he did just leave, and didn't say anything. And I didn't realize he was in the garage for one hour. He couldn't drive. He couldn't go anywhere. And in my heart, I kept saying, Please take him save, please don't punish him. And then I realized, but I'm not telling him anything, you know, and he had food and he left the food. And he went, so his sister came home. And he said, Mom, whose fault is it? I said, Oh, that brother of yours, he just left it said no, mommy's

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in the garage. So she took the food. And she took him, I said, is in the garage. Now looked at the terminal. So it is one hour. And I said, Oh, I don't have authority here. So I called back my younger son. And I said, Come here, tell me what I was wrong, then I can fix it, and what he was wrong. And subhanAllah, it started something so small, that you cannot imagine. But I've now that I'm listening to this is, I feel that I abused that authority, you know, that you don't realize

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it's very hard for the mother to say I'm sorry.

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But I realize now that my son could not drive because he felt that if anything happens to him, I am angry at him. I am so happy I came this morning thinking, will I get an answer today? And subhanAllah? I got a big answer, that I feel so happy that I know everybody has an do not abuse your authority, whether you are a mother, or a wife, or a child, you know, mashallah, my youngest son is so Subhanallah, the way he looked at both of us and said, Mommy, this is a very small thing. But both of you don't realize it, there was nothing here. And actually, there was nothing. It's just like, why are you saying this and why you say something so small.

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And the thing is that when we are focused on our own mistakes, or when we have a bigger goal in our lives, then these little things, they don't bother us that much, then really, it's not a problem. If your son wears blue bands, or black pants, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal if somebody put the dishes in a different way. Because those dishes are not the purpose of your life.

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Alhamdulillah sister, thank you very much for sharing. And this was very personal thing to share. And, but when we look at, like whether we are Muslims or not like people are part of families, and they are in different relationships, whether in the role of parent or a child or daughter in law, or mother in law. And for everybody, there is the first like you're the parent first time or you're the mother, or a first older sibling, or mother in law. And there's a lot of things that nobody has taught you what to do, or you're in a different surrounding. And people usually interact or deal with things the way they have seen culturally. So people who have migrated a lot of parents, they do

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not have any interaction other than their own homes. So they do not even understand the struggles of their children outside. And then if we are just like keep on telling them and telling them and we are frustrating or making them guilty. It doesn't always work. And one of the greatest teaching tool is creating some scenarios like okay, if this happened, and what would you do what if this happened? Or how would you deal with the situation so that way, you're kind of giving them some solutions. Otherwise, most of the time, they might make a mistake and they are so fearful that they will not come back to you. And so you do not want to create your fear in your children's hearts Plus, once

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again, like a shutdown is so powerful now you're trying to do the right thing but if your god forbid abusing your son in law or your daughter in law, destroying your own demand that way your own deeds and because I mean if that's like abusing another person's rights, and that is so wrong. So I think there should be more women getting together learning from each other is important because you're trying to do the right thing but you're not fair to your children and Allah Tala has given mothers Janna but your children has rights to like you don't have a right to do unfair things to them. That just because we are in a position of authority doesn't mean we can do whatever we feel like doing.

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We are answerable go look I'm Robin, we're kolloquium must all on Allah is going to question us. Last comment inshallah.

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So like, go again,

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Okay, I want to go back to the point about the purification and like Allah's mercy, because I think that after a while before he said the criminals will be going to like *. But after that he says, like he says, the people who purify themselves. So I feel like I wasn't acknowledging that we do make mistakes. And we're always going to be making mistakes because we're humans. And we have to go back to him. Yes. Because he, the one who comes on the day of judgment as a criminal, meaning he didn't acknowledge his mistakes. He didn't fix those mistakes. He remained like that. And he showed up on the Day of Judgment like that, then he is going to *, because where does garbage go?

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Something that's filled with garbage goes in the dump. Right? But the person who realizes his mistakes and he changes himself, then his home will be Jana. With Alika does that woman does occur? So that is the lesson that we need to take for ourselves Subhanak alone will be handy Kenosha de la ilaha illa Anta the stuff will go on to be like a Santa Monica what I heard Allah he will go to Catherine

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