Nouman Ali Khan – Discharging Parental Responsibilities

Nouman Ali Khan
AI: Summary © The transcript is a jumbled mix of characters and sentences, making it difficult to summarize. The conversation is difficult to follow and appears to be a bit of a mess. The transcript is difficult to summarize as it appears to be a jumbled mix of characters and characters, but the speakers do a good job. The conversation is difficult to follow and appears to be a bit of a mess.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:00 --> 00:00:02

Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

00:00:03 --> 00:00:15

hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu wa salam O Allah Ashraf al anbiya he will mousseline early he will be Home Minister Nebuchadnezzar he like me Dean, Allah homage and I mean whom Amina Xena

00:00:16 --> 00:00:20

whatever So Bill Huck whatever Saba Saba mineable Allah mean amin

00:00:22 --> 00:00:23

Billahi min ash shaytani r Rajim

00:00:24 --> 00:00:55

what is called a Yusuf Ali a be here but he in Nero A to A Hydra Shara carbon mushroom sour Kamara, a to whom Lisa g Dean. Allah, Allah. Allah Allah aquatic fakie de la Kaden Caden in the shaytaan allyl insomnia do movie what is the V column bukoba your limo come into Hades. Are you Timonium matter who Allah Allah Allah Allah Yahoo. Kamata, mahalo awakening Pablo Eva Hema was hacked in Naropa honeymoon Hakeem

00:00:56 --> 00:01:12

propitiously sorry, we're silly Emery Wagner the rock that I'm in the sunny of Cali Allahumma sabitha andalo Tb La ilaha illallah wa la la mina Latina Amanullah Amina Saudi heart whatever sobbing Huck, whatever, Saba Saba, mineable alameen

00:01:13 --> 00:01:27

today's hold by is dedicated to a couple of ions that belong to sulit Yusuf and they are particularly involving wisdom that comes from the tongue of Yahuwah. His Salaam

00:01:28 --> 00:02:09

jacoba salaam has a unique place in the Quran, Allah azza wa jal will describe him on a number of occasions. And one of the things that is common in all of those occasions is Yahuwah. insulins role as a father, he is when when the Quran talks about fatherhood in many places somehow or the other Yakubu either his Salaam gets mentioned. And so it's important to note some of that some of his that Allah has always held me timeless. And of course, the one of the most beautiful places that Allah describes or encapsulate some of that wisdom is in the story of use of alayhis. Salaam. I feel that this is important because in our day and age, education has become

00:02:10 --> 00:02:46

something that it wasn't ever before. people receive an education in the sciences, people become very educated in medicine, people can become educated in technology and other things. And they remain very minimally educated in what it means to be a father or what it means to be a son, or what it means to be a neighbor, or what it means to be a good friend, or we don't have that basic education anymore. And so you find this strange irony. You have people that have a PhD or a doctorate, they're very well educated, but they don't know what it means to be a good son, or they don't know what it means to be a decent parent, etc. Right. So there's a there are two different

00:02:46 --> 00:03:28

kinds of education, these education the kind of education that will give you get you a good job, or will further you in your career is not necessarily the kind of education that will make you a better human being. Those are not the same thing. And this is part of the education of the Quran is what makes you a better human being but makes me a better human being. What I want to get straight into is how Allah azzawajal introduces this remarkable episode in the life of use of Allah He said, I'm of course, sort of use of physics in its entirety dedicated to the life of use of na Salaam. The first thing I'd like you to note is that the story of use of money in the Quran is not even one

00:03:28 --> 00:04:10

third or one fourth of what is found in the Bible. The Bible is four times longer when it describes the story of Joseph. And the Quran is extremely brief. When it describes this same exact story. Why is that the case? Allah as I was, it clearly is not going to tell us everything about the life of Yusuf Ali Salaam. Unlike Musa alayhis salaam we learn about his story from the fact from the time when he was a little baby when he couldn't even speak yet, all the way through. With Yusuf Ali Salaam we begin when he's already a young boy. Right? So there's still quite a bit of his life missing in the Quran narrative. Similarly, we don't get a lot of details Allah doesn't tell us what

00:04:10 --> 00:04:48

are the names of his brothers, but on will not mention, but on will not mention even the name of even not even mentioned his mother directly on will have mentioned the name of the minister who eventually took him in, or the name of the wife of the minister who is such a central character in the story. None of these people are mentioned by name locations mentioned Exactly. It's not the case other than missile in the passing reference. The reason for that is a lot as always, that is not concerned with information. That's not what's important for you and me. What is important for you and me are lessons that will guide my life in your life. So he will tell us the information that is

00:04:48 --> 00:05:00

relevant enough for us to get the guidance. This is not a book of history. It's not a book of facts. It's a book of counsel. It's a book of motiva, it's a book of Buddha. It's a book of counsel.

00:05:00 --> 00:05:26

And guidance. And so Allah has changed and very selectively picked small episodes from the amazing life of use of honey Salaam. And every little detail that he's going to tell us in the sutra is extremely important because he's skipped a lot of other things and only mentioned these things. So whatever he did pick is of extreme value, nothing can be overlooked. And so when we begin this story, the first thing that catches our attention

00:05:27 --> 00:06:03

is Eliza Jen says right before this ayah we're in condemning company, he let me know how you're feeling. He tells us little la sallallahu alayhi salam, we're going to tell you the best of all stories. I'm sure you've heard that before. We're going to tell you the best of all stories, but you used to be unaware before this. Not just unaware of the story. But the the lessons that are going to be inside this story. The Wisdom that's going to come from this story is something that even the prophets, Elijah was not taught before this is going to be unique. So don't just reduce that. Yes, Allah sallallahu alayhi salam did not know the story of use of an A Salaam and that's what's being

00:06:03 --> 00:06:22

said, actually, a lot more is being said, there are things inside of this story, than without the story we would have never known that Eliza was at deems important for you and me in our lives. And so where do we begin? Allah azza wa jal describes this young child, Yusuf Alayhi. Salam is Allah used to fully be He,

00:06:23 --> 00:06:40

when Yusuf Alayhi Salaam said to his father, and he's a young boy, we don't know the exact age but you imagine anything between eight and 12 years old, the young child, and he's key comes up to his father, maybe even younger. And what does he say to him? Yeah, but he Indira, I had a Shara cabin.

00:06:41 --> 00:07:23

there and first of all, yeah, but the dad and the Arabic word for father is Abby. Yeah, I beat my father. Yeah, buddy. I thought to shoot in a pub. When Karen so it's it's actually my respected father. And my my beloved father. It says though, when we don't talk like that your kids don't come up to you and say, beloved father, can I have some chocolate, they don't, they don't talk to you like that. That's not how we speak anymore. But the equivalent of we have it would be Dad, I love you. Dad, give me a hug. I want to tell you something. It's a loving expression of addressing your father. It's not just dad, or Papa or baba, but it's actually dead along with an expression of love.

00:07:23 --> 00:07:36

That's the first thing we learned about this child is that he expresses love for his dad. And the second thing we're going to learn here is that he came up to him and said, in ne ne means no doubt, I

00:07:37 --> 00:08:18

know the word in there is used, they say in Arabic Li is Allah to shock to remove doubt. So when you're about to say something that the listener will not believe easily, it sounds so unbelievable. They might not believe you that they don't think you're serious. So the Arabs use the device enough to remove that doubt. No, no, I really mean what I'm going to say. It is as though the child recognizes that what he's about to say is not easy to believe. It's this amazing thing, this crazy thing that he saw. And he's gonna tell his dad all about it, but he's thinking that might not believe me. And so he says, No, really, that I really did see this in Me, too. I had Ashoka. But I

00:08:18 --> 00:08:54

really did see in fact, 11 stars, the sun in the moon, which somehow will come up. And it's incredible that the sentence starts over again. And it's it captures really the the reluctance of a child. I mean, I have a lot of children. I have seven children. And the thing with children is that when they want to tell you something that's exciting, or something that happened, they repeat themselves a lot. And they can't even get to the end of a sentence. So a kid will Something happened on the playground, my son comes running up to me when he's little, he says ABA, ABA, you know what happened at the slide at the slide?

00:08:55 --> 00:08:58

At the slide, like what happened at the slide.

00:08:59 --> 00:09:00

I forgot.

00:09:03 --> 00:09:15

A child will actually become nervous and repeat themselves. Use of insulin as a child comes up to his father and says, You know what really happened? Dad, I saw 11 stars, the sun, even the moon.

00:09:16 --> 00:09:35

But what is there's more, but he's nervous. And he stops and he starts over again. And the verb is repeated. To whom Lisa gv. I saw them doing sighs that to me, the verb I saw is repeated twice, is not mentioned once literally like a child saying I saw it. I really saw it.

00:09:37 --> 00:09:46

Like it's so beautiful and so natural the way in which he speaks to his dad. The first thing that I'd like to highlight here is that this boy saw a dream.

00:09:47 --> 00:09:50

Who did he run and talk to his father.

00:09:51 --> 00:09:58

Our boys have a feeling have a have a dream. Forget about a dream they even something happens to them in reality.

00:10:00 --> 00:10:06

Who did you go and run and talk to. And when they want to come and talk to you, Dad, you're watching the news.

00:10:07 --> 00:10:16

You're doing something on your phone. So but you know what happens at school. And then and then on the playground and you're like, Go tell your mother.

00:10:19 --> 00:10:27

And you know, you do that enough times. And you'll notice your son doesn't come up and tell you, who does he go straight to. He goes straight to mom.

00:10:28 --> 00:11:09

The natural inclination By the way, children gravitate towards their mother, they do. But we're learning something about jacoba cylinder hasn't even been said, He is the kind of father that has created such a nurturing environment for this child, that this child experienced something not even when he was awake, he experienced something, but it was a dream. And he can run over to that and give him a hug, and tell him all about it, because he knows that is going to listen, that's going to pay attention. He's not going to ignore what I'm saying. And if anything, you know, for children, things that are important to children are not the same as things that are important to adults. When

00:11:09 --> 00:11:24

you're my kid is playing with a bunch of Legos, and one of the pieces is missing, his world has come to an end of I can't find the hand. And that's a really big deal to him. Now, it's not a big deal to me. But you know what, it has to become a big deal to me, because it's important to him.

00:11:26 --> 00:11:37

A dream may not be important to you or me. But it's important to this child. It's valuable to him. So he runs over and tells his dad and his dad doesn't say What did you eat for dinner last night Boy,

00:11:38 --> 00:12:15

you know, it's just a dream. It's okay. It's okay. Don't worry about it. I get those all the time. He doesn't do that. He actually carefully attentively listens to his son. We're learning something incredible about fatherhood that we did not know before, and didn't highlight this anywhere else. It highlights something about how loving a father needs to be to young children, to very young children, to nurture them, to engage them to be a good listener to them to sit and just listen to your child. Even if they're babbling and talking about absolutely nothing that makes any sense to you. You still listen attentively as though you're a learner.

00:12:16 --> 00:12:34

And your child is, you know, my my girls, they talk a lot because they're girls. But you know, they talk and they talk and they talk and they're telling me about this kid. And this, this other girl, that school became friends with them, and she's not friends with them anymore. And this one and that one. And there's so many names. It's like an entire, like, everyone is almost like,

00:12:35 --> 00:12:41

there's all these names you have to know and characters and I have to keep up. I can't just be driving the car and saying Aha,

00:12:42 --> 00:12:44

yeah, yeah, that's great.

00:12:46 --> 00:13:15

Because that's what we do. We don't really listen. The father is actually attentively listening, and how will you know how will I know that you and I are trying to live up to the Sunnah of jacoba salaam, as immortalized in the Quran, when we notice that our children on their own, come up and talk to us. Because today, we try to talk to our kids and say, How was school? It was it was okay. What do you do things? Who are your friends, some people,

00:13:17 --> 00:13:44

they don't talk to us. But that's not because they're bad kids. It's because we didn't open that door enough, wide open enough. We didn't become their friends first. Children need to be approached and made feel made to feel welcome. You know, in many societies, especially in Muslim societies, the father is supposed to be an authority. When when Baba walks into the house, everybody's like, judgment day has begun, you know.

00:13:46 --> 00:14:05

Everybody started stuffs, you know, even people were happy right before they noticed the car full of blue Bob was here. And there's just, you know, military attention style happinesses left the home, you better watch out because he gets angry so easily. You don't want to make him angry, had a long day at work. You don't want to say anything, because he'll get really upset.

00:14:06 --> 00:14:08

This is the legacy of Yahoo.

00:14:09 --> 00:14:48

If that was the kind of father he was, would use of all Islam ever come up to him and even tell him anything, this story would never have even begun. None of this would have happened if he wasn't a kind of loving, nurturing father. That's the prerequisite of the first ayah. And then this child comes and tells him this fascinating dream. And what is inside this dream is just remarkable, the language of the Quran. It's so remarkable. On the one hand, the child is reluctant, and he knows that he's not going to be believed. And I told you he used the word in me in nearly a shadow cabin was shumsa Welcome. And if you eventually by the end of the surah, we understand that the 11 stars

00:14:48 --> 00:15:00

were actually his siblings, and the sun in the moon represent his parents. And we also know that by the end of this dream, or by the end of getting to the sentence, what he tells his father is that

00:15:00 --> 00:15:23

He's going to be doing, they're going to be doing such that, because of him, they're going to be falling into such that because of him, which is an extremely humble position for someone to be in. And if you imagine somebody falling into such that because of somebody else, you would imagine that the person the most juden lungu, the person to whom such that is being done, or because of them, the size that is being done, is a very important person.

00:15:24 --> 00:15:48

So, now this child sees a dream in which he is a very important person. But actually, what's what's even more incredible is, it seems from the language of the ayah, that this young boy is a genius and Allah azza wa jal has inspired him in a very special way that he already has the understanding of what the dream means. He didn't come to ask his father, what does this mean?

00:15:50 --> 00:15:52

It seems he already knows what it means.

00:15:53 --> 00:16:38

This is why he gets to 11 stars, the sun in the moon, Mom and Dad. And when he gets to that point, he can't even finish because how can I imagine my mom and my dad humbled in front of me? How can I even imagine that and then on top of that, those of you that are familiar with the Arabic language, it's these are these are waves, the waves are cool, you have the sun, the moon, the stars, these are, you know, not living things. And the Arabic pronouns for nonliving things are either the the feminine pronoun ha, or if you want to do to scream and make a big deal out of them. hoonah. So the Arabic would have the expected Arabic was going to be a to hoonah Li sajida, or a to Holly sajida.

00:16:38 --> 00:16:46

That's the expected Arabic, but the Quran says a to whom Li Sadie, which is used only for people,

00:16:47 --> 00:17:19

he actually used the pronouns when he says, I saw them doing first job because of me, the word then, is actually only used for living people for for human beings. And so he used the word that already suggests that he, I know that it's people, it's not the stars and the sun and the moon. That's the genius of this boy. But it's such a small thing, and the father hears it and picks up on it. This kid is special. He's not just special because he saw a dream, he's really special, because he figured it out.

00:17:20 --> 00:18:02

He even figured it out. And he recognized all of that from one sentence. Our children have been given lots of gifts, and their gifts, you will discover them by engaging them in conversation. Every child is given a unique set of gifts, some of your kids are very artistic. Some of your kids are very mathematical. Some of your kids are very analytical. Some of your kids have an incredible memory. They're not all the same. When you engage them in conversation, you're actually discovering what they are hiding inside of them. And you won't know anything about those hidden talents and those hidden gifts, a lot has given them until you and I become good listeners. The father becomes a

00:18:02 --> 00:18:07

good listener and picks up on the fact that this child is not a normal child. He's special.

00:18:08 --> 00:18:42

It's not just so special to see a dream, but to be able to figure that out too. And he knows now immediately that it's people and 11 stars and its people it's 11 Brothers, or Sun and Moon that's appeared and now he's actually told his father the interpretation in the in one sentence, the dream and the interpretation. And the father first thing he does first thing he does so amazing. And this was the first wisdom I wanted to tell you open communication between father and son. The second thing that I want to share with you, yada yada yada Aquatica,

00:18:44 --> 00:19:14

my beloved little boy, my dear little son, that's how he addresses him. In Binney is my son. Yeah, Brenda, yeah, my little boy, my little, it's also an expression of love. So the child spoke to him lovingly, and the father also responded lovingly. You have to reciprocate love. We have to reciprocate loving expressions to our kids. We have to let them know how much we love them. You cannot say my dad never hugged me. So we don't we don't do that in our family.

00:19:16 --> 00:19:38

You don't do that to children. That is not the Sunnah of our Prophet sallahu wa salatu salam. You know, it's it's unfortunate that some people think that the only kind of father they need to be as an authority and they don't reciprocate. I need my children to respect me. They know I love them. No, they don't. They don't know that you love them. Ask those kids. I think Baba hates me.

00:19:39 --> 00:19:42

They'll tell you but don't tell him I said that.

00:19:44 --> 00:20:00

You need to express the fact that you love them. You need to demonstrate the fact that you love them. And then he says, Don't tell this to your brothers. What you've seen, don't tell it. The first thing that says is don't tell this to your brothers. His brothers are older.

00:20:00 --> 00:20:23

than Emer younger than him, the vast majority of them are older than him. And he looks up to his brothers. And just like he's excited about what just happened, just like he told dad, he's also might, he might even tell his brothers. Now we know later on his brothers are no good. And they're going to scheme against him and all of it. But the first thing you tell your child is sometimes a family situation is complicated.

00:20:24 --> 00:20:27

You know, your family's not the only one that has problems.

00:20:28 --> 00:20:33

Profits had families with problems. He's got sons that are out of control.

00:20:34 --> 00:21:01

And he's a great father, we already know that. We already learned that he's done his job as a good dad. And if he did this with yourself, then I can guarantee you he was the same way with all of his other sons. Isn't that the case? It's not like he raised those kids as a tyrant or as an oppressive father. And then all of a sudden, he became a good father to use of money. So um, it's not the case, our NBR there are models of justice and fairness. So he did his job as a father, but those kids did not turn out like us.

00:21:03 --> 00:21:41

They came out very different. A lot of us invest into our children. Some of you have white hair on your beards, because your children are no longer children. They're adults themselves. And you did everything you could to give them love and nurturing and an education of the deen and to give them upright character, and they went in a different direction later on in life. They are no longer the kids you expected them to be. They are far away from a lesbian, they're rebellious. They're not respectful, and you're thinking What did I do wrong? I did everything that I could and they turned out this way. How can I bring them back so many desperate mothers and fathers, mostly mothers come

00:21:41 --> 00:22:27

up to me and tell me, I did everything for my child. I provided them a good education. I gave them good environment. I protected them from so much fitna. But today, my son doesn't pray. And he doesn't listen to me. And if I try to tell, tell him something, he gets angry, you know, and he storms out of the house. What should I do? That's not just your problem. That's a problem for Yahoo by the Salaam, a prophet of Allah, a role model Father, you know, and even he had trouble with children. Why are Why is that important to note? Because we are human beings. We don't own a lot of guidance. We don't even own our own children. They are an Amana. They are a trust that Allah has

00:22:27 --> 00:23:15

given us we will do everything we can for them. But when they become adults, they will make their own choices. And that is not under our control. We cannot control how they will turn out to be. We can only fulfill our Amana to a point and then they are who they are. This is why the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam even turns to his own daughter. Yeah, Fatima to been to Mohammed, a tequila in Nila, amla, Kula kameena, La Jolla, Fatima daughter of Muhammad have your own taqwa of Allah, I will have no authority in front of a law for you. I can't help you on Judgement Day, you're on your own. This is a fundamental reality that parents must understand I my mind, girls are now

00:23:15 --> 00:23:36

becoming teenagers. And then eventually, the boys are more scared of the boys actually. But you know, eventually they'll get there. What happens is when these kids are little, everything about them is under our control. What are they going to eat? What are they going to wear? What school? Are they going to go to? What are they going to go to sleep? What are they going to wake up everything is under our control.

00:23:37 --> 00:23:40

But as they get older, you start noticing you're losing more and more control.

00:23:42 --> 00:24:21

And they get to a certain point, they become their own person and now they want to marry who they want to marry. They want to move to a different city for a job. And now the parents are losing control. And they're saying no, no, no, you can't do that. You can't marry who you want. You can't go to this city. You can't get that job. You can't go to that you will do what I tell you. Because I changed your diaper diapers. I've had you when you were little No Actually, there's a certain age where you have to parents have to actually let go. They can no longer control and that's a harsh reality. It's a harsh reality that a lot of parents don't accept because it's difficult to accept.

00:24:21 --> 00:24:22

But that is a reality.

00:24:24 --> 00:25:00

And sometimes our children will not be what we accept. Expect just like Yusuf Ali Salaam brothers, but he tells him our family's complicated. Just do me a favor. He doesn't bad mouth, his brothers. He just says listen, don't tell him Don't tell them the story. They're not and he doesn't say because they're jealous or they're going to. He just says flaky do laka Caden, I do I do need you to understand even as a young boy, be careful of what you say around your brothers. Because they will they will they might make a plan, you know scheme against you. They might make a secret plot against you. Why would you tell a child that something

00:25:00 --> 00:25:02

times children have to be told adult things.

00:25:03 --> 00:25:14

Our family situations are not always simple. We have to sometimes protect him listen to this carefully. Sometimes we have to protect our children, from other members of the family.

00:25:15 --> 00:25:18

Sometimes there are members of your family that are no good.

00:25:19 --> 00:25:53

And we cannot hide that from our kids. You have to know the elements within your own. Nobody knows your family like you do. There are sometimes uncles or cousins or brothers or some other people in your family that are just a bad influence. They are no good. You don't develop hatred for them. But you do protect children from them. You do and when when you go to one gathering, there's everybody's together and the kids are running around. And you know, some of the bad apples in the family are there at the gathering. You better keep your children where you can see them.

00:25:54 --> 00:26:04

They better not be away somewhere and you don't know where they are. Because a lot of those gatherings some of the most horrible things happen to our children, and they're exposed to some of the worst things because of their family.

00:26:05 --> 00:26:28

I know this not in theory because 1000s of people emailed me about what happens to them in their with their families. We don't protect our children, we assume they're safe around family, you cannot be so simplistic. That is the teaching of the Quran itself. Sometimes there are complicated situations inside a family and the first people we have to protect our children for Yaki Lula Qaeda.

00:26:29 --> 00:26:35

But then he says it's not because these people are evil. But because in the shape an alien Sania

00:26:36 --> 00:27:08

shaytan is always been an enemy to people, for human beings. In other words, they unfortunately are victims of the worst Versace Pon, we ask Allah that He protects us from becoming that, you know. And so in a sense, he says, Be careful of the bad apples in the family. But also it doesn't say they're the devil, the devil is the devil shaitaan is the bad one. Because he leaves the door open. He doesn't say your brothers, they are so evil, you stay away from them, and you never ever talked to them the rest of your life. That's what we do.

00:27:09 --> 00:27:50

Because if somebody has been bad, or has had bad behavior, we write them off forever. By the end of the story, you know that the brothers of use of NATO bias they changed, didn't they? So even if there are bad elements in your family, that doesn't mean that their shape on who is condemned to Hellfire until the end. They're not like shape on, they can change shape ons, the one that was is always going to be an enemy. So there's a clarification by the father to the Son, don't confuse them which I find. Let's do different things. And so now I get to the last part of what I wanted to share with you as a father, what is he going to give his son, this is my favorite part, actually.

00:27:51 --> 00:27:51


00:27:53 --> 00:28:18

acceptance, this boy saw a dream and in one sentence, even let his father know that he's figured out the dream. The father first told him to be careful about the complications in the family. And then he tells him what garlic is the de Cora buka. That is how your master is meaning Allah has selected you for the special qualities that you have each device is used when a choice is made based on special qualities.

00:28:20 --> 00:28:56

So the father is basically saying, son, you've got some special qualities. And those special qualities are so special, Allah himself has chosen you. And he This is just the beginning child, when you will come into really the Hadith. And Allah is going to be teaching you the interpretation of all kinds of speech, not just dreams, you're going to be a very young, smart young man, you're going to be able to figure all kinds of things out you have a bright future ahead of you. And then that's not enough for you Tim alayka and Allah will complete his I am confident a level fulfill His favor upon you. I even see I make dua, Allah will turn you into a profit.

00:28:57 --> 00:29:05

Just like he fulfilled his fever. C'mon, Maha Allah, Allah yaku. You know, this, actually, come on yaku Come on.

00:29:06 --> 00:29:15

He was just like, he fulfilled a favor on your grandfather and your great grandfather, Ibrahim and his ha, I pray that you're the next one.

00:29:16 --> 00:29:22

off of one dream, the father gave an entire speech of how awesome you are to this kid.

00:29:23 --> 00:29:59

Allah has chosen you, you are so special. You're going to do great things in the future. You're going to figure out all kinds of stuff. Allah is going to make you part of the same legacy as his heart and Ebrahim and even salam, Allah will fulfill His favor upon you. All of these compliment after compliment after compliment why this is a sunnah of prophets, that we take the little things that our kids do, and we make a big deal out of them and fill them with confidence. When they're children. we validate them, not the other way around your child goes has an exam gets a 95 on an exam, and you say next time, get 100

00:30:02 --> 00:30:04

I used to get 100 without even taking the exam.

00:30:06 --> 00:30:47

Your your kids are never good enough for you. They're never good enough for you never validate them. This is a horrible thing to do. It's a denial of the prophetic legacy. To acknowledge the good in your children, he hasn't even interpreted all kinds of speech yet. that's gonna happen later. He hasn't even accomplished, he's just, it's just a kid. But the father is filling him with confidence that this kid is going to accomplish much. When we instill that kind of confidence into our children, then they will instill that into their children. And in fact, they will accomplish great things. You know, this one thing, by the way, this one kind of confidence that was put into this

00:30:47 --> 00:31:00

child at an early age is the same confidence that when Yusuf Alayhi, salaam was in prison, and he came out of prison, he came in front of the king and said, I need to be the treasurer.

00:31:02 --> 00:31:20

That takes confidence. He's standing among government officials, you know, people that have been in politics for a long time economists. And he comes out of a prison cell and says, nobody here is qualified to be the treasurer of this nation. In the outfield, I mean, I'm the guy for the job.

00:31:21 --> 00:31:26

That confidence in the Quran came from where from when he was a child,

00:31:27 --> 00:32:07

he acknowledged a lost favor on him. He knew what he's capable of. We want that kind of confidence for our kids, that will not come automatically. You know, the opposite is the case. Today, all we do with our children is criticize them. poke holes at them. Tell them how skinny they are, or how fat they are, or how stupid they are, how ugly they are, or how not like their older brother, they are comparing them to each other. constantly, constantly, constantly. And then these young kids grow up. And even when they grow up. What do they do in the oma? When they see someone all they can do is criticize them. All we find in this oma are people that are obsessed with criticism, they cannot see

00:32:07 --> 00:32:08

the good in anyone.

00:32:09 --> 00:32:35

They can't see the good in the country they live in the society we live in, they'll say yeah, our mom is great Alhamdulillah. But and then. And you know where that comes from daddy issues. That's where that comes from. Dad used to pick at you all the time and find holes in you. And now you cannot see good in anyone until you find something wrong. Then you get married, and your wife cooks food, and you like the food and you say yeah, it's good. But the other time was better.

00:32:36 --> 00:32:42

You can't help but criticize all the time. Because it was embedded in you as a child.

00:32:43 --> 00:33:09

We don't want that to go on. We want an oma that acknowledges good, and that sees good and people and therefore becomes a grateful nation. And this by the way, these two things are inherently connected to each other. If you're always finding flaws, then you're never going to be grateful. And if you're never going to be grateful, this woman will never get out of this mess. Because the checkout counter has eaten Naco if you're grateful than Allah will increase you.

00:33:10 --> 00:33:15

Allah will not increase as if we're not grateful. And we can't be grateful if we're always poking holes at each other.

00:33:16 --> 00:33:35

So this thing that I'm sharing with you about fatherhood has major implications. Can you imagine this little conversation? This is what I want to conclude with this tiny little conversation with this boy? Why is it important? Because a few years from now, millions of people are going to starve to death,

00:33:36 --> 00:33:38

if not for the confidence of this young man.

00:33:40 --> 00:34:21

Because of this young man 1000s of children will be saved from starvation. Because a father did his job, can you imagine the burden on our shoulders. Do not underestimate the role of the Father. Do not underestimate the capabilities of your children. Do not reduce them to to what Allah has chosen to offer great things. The fact that we get honored to be part of this oma is a great great noble gift. May Allah azza wa jal allow us to be successful parents and to instill in our children beautiful confidence and to make our children really the likes of use of Elisa Lam, who fulfill the favor that was given in the legacy of Ibrahim alayhis salam May Allah azza wa jal overlook our

00:34:21 --> 00:34:31

shortcomings in everything that we do, especially in our role as parents and May Allah azza wa jal give us righteous children that become a source of sadaqa jariya for all of us barakallahu li walakum to the Quran in Hakim

00:34:37 --> 00:34:38


Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan delves into the pertinent and essential topic of being the best version of ourselves whilst we are with our parents and how to effectively discharge parental responsibilities. The Ayats of Surah Al Yusuf are mentioned here and profound words of wisdom which have been immortalized and made timeless in the Quran are uttered by Prophet Yaqub AS and his exemplary role of being a good father. 

Allah is demanding from us nothing short of our best when it comes to our parents. We have to be good, patient, merciful, charitable or to have the courtesy to our parents. The status of the parents is second only to the status of Allah SWT.the easiest way to enter Jannah is through obedience to the parents. The widest of Jannah gates are for those who are obedient and good to parents.

When they enter old age, one of them or two of them, we should not abandon them and speak to them in gracious respectable terms. We should not reciprocate anger with anger or reciprocate frustration with frustration. Whatever they use it doesn’t matter, we should respond with respect and with gracious words.

Listen intently to this emotional lecture and imbibe the message that comes across.


Share Page

Related Episodes