O You Who Believe #14 – Women are not Property – Surah 4-19

Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Welcome to another segment of Oh you who believe where we cover an idea of the Quran that begins with year a you had Lolita Avenue. So today I have chosen an ayah from Surah Nisa. And the reason I've chosen this is because we are going in sequential order. Last week we talked about the last aisle that begins with Yeah, you had leadin Avenue, and that I happens to be the last ayat of surah REM Ron, so hence the next Surah Surah Nisa and the very first idea that begins with a young lady in Amarillo in Surah Nisa is ayah number 19. Now, before I even get into this idea, I want to talk about what exactly is Surah Nisa about. One of the key things

that we find in Surah Nisa is Allah subhanho wa Taala has not just talked about only about women, but he has talked about a lot of different things as we see, as we have seen in so many different suitors would like for example, in Surah Al Baqarah, Allah does not only talk about Bacara, Allah subhanaw taala mentioned only one story of the cow in Surah Al Baqarah. Yet we see the entire Surah has been named after that one particular incident. So, this is something that we find very common in the Quran. Hence, even in Surah Nisa, not everything is related to women. But the one thing that we find in Certainly, sir, is that Allah subhanho wa Taala abolishes many previous practices that were

related to women, and Allah subhanho wa Taala institutionalized through Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam new practices for women. So for example, so Aneesa talks about Mahara. And as you all know what a Maha is, it is the hub of a woman. It is something that is decided usually prior to marriage. Some schools of thought have said that you can decide later on, everyone agrees to the fact that it can be given later on. It doesn't have to be given at the time of the marriage. But nonetheless, the MaHA is the heart of the wife. And Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions, for example, were to Nisa as a Ducati in an era long time ago, when there was something that was given than the dowry that was

given or the money that was given to the woman, she will not be able to keep it. Islam's No, that is her right. Likewise, we also find that because many cultures did not even view women as human beings, there were some cultures that view them as soulless. Like they didn't even have a soul. There was some cultures around the world that they had demeaned women so much. So they didn't, they did not have a status in a family. They never had a status in society. Islam came and changed all that. You know, today, when people say that Islam does not give rise to women, that's absolutely wrong. And what the reason why many people they say that is because they see what is going on in

some countries, some Muslim countries, or Muslim predominantly countries, and how they are treating women. And they begin to think that this is what it this is what Islam teaches, regarding treating women, and we always tell them, and we always believe in the fact that we get our teachings from Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and we get it from the Quran. And the Quran has taught us to treat them in a perfect way to treat them very, very well. So even when it comes to inheritance, women did not never had a share. The Quran came and institutionalized rights for them, when it came to inheritance, a mother will receive the daughter will receive, and the wife will receive and so

forth. So Islam came and taught us this, we also learned that if a woman was given a property, or she was given a gift from her parents, or the property came from her husband, in that case, if their husband died, then usually that property will will not remain with her, the person who would inherit her, and we will talk about this later on, they will eventually take that property for themselves, and they will never let her have it, meaning that anything that didn't belong to her, they will not they will not be able to keep it. And in case in case that the woman said and she argued that no, this is my right. This is my property, I get to keep my property, then in that case, the men at that

time who would inherit these women, they would prevent them from getting remarried in hopes that they will be able to confiscate that property from them. And likewise, they will eventually die and they will pass away and that property that was under the name of

The woman or the wife, it will now come under the name of or come under the, the ownership of the men. So this is how women were treated a long time ago. Also, we do find, and what I'm about to share is something that we find even till today in many Muslim communities. And that is that if a man and a woman, for example, are not getting along, and

a man or woman are not getting along, there's always conflict after conflict, there is no peace inside the house. Of course, my recommendation at all times is that in that situation, you don't necessarily go to an Imam, you go to someone who is a marriage therapist, a marriage counselor, talk to them, yes, sometimes for religious advices, regarding this matter, you can go to the Imam or the chef or the scholar. But at the same time, I always recommend that you should go and see v expert, two people who have dedicated their life to solving problem solving marriage problems, go and talk to a marriage therapist. But what we also find is that if in case that a man and a woman are not

getting along, and the woman says, Okay, you're not treating me well, let me go, for example, the in that case, the man who would abuse the wife to the extent that she would say, that take my wealth, and let me go in order for her to protect herself from the abuse of the husband. So this is something that else that we see that used to happen a long time ago, and Islam also abolished that kind of practice. Unfortunately, we see we still see that very much relevant in many Muslim communities, and I'll talk about more about that. Inshallah later on. But going back to the idea that I was talking about earlier, I in number 18, that begins with Yeah, yeah, hallelujah. Amen. Oh,

Allah subhanho wa taala. He says, Yeah, you heard that in Amman, who Oh up, Oh, you people who believe lie your Hulu lecom. It is not lawful for you, and tell you so Nissa Garnacha, that you inherit women by compulsion. Now, I'm going to stop right here and first go through this, that what exactly does this mean? See, a long time ago, when a man or woman there were married and the husband would pass away, then what would happen to the woman is that she was transferred to one of the heirs as property, like we all understand that when a man passes away, or when anyone passes away, and they have, you know, they have real estate, they have any kind of, you know, commodity, they have

money and so forth left behind, it usually gets distributed, but not only was the property distributed, the women will also distributed and the woman would be given against her own wish, against her own desires to someone else. Now, in that kind of situation. And by the way, all this I mentioned to you is from from from Imam Muhammad, Allah, Allah, He has documented this in his book that this is narrated by basil EULA, and that this is why this idea was revealed. So once again, the woman will be given as property to her against her will, and a man will take her. And then he had few choices. Either he could if he wanted, he would marry her. And once again, does she have a say

in this? Absolutely not. Or he would give her away in marriage, he would give her away in marriage for a payment. So once again, women were treated like commodity like property, that I'm giving you this property, and I want some financial compensation in return. So it was as if women were almost like being sold. To the extent that there was some practices to by the way, there was some practices that is highlighted also in Surah, Nisa that if in case, let's just say a man had multiple wives, and let's just say wife, a passed away, and wife B is still alive, and wife B has a son from this husband who passed away, what would happen was that the son of this this man who passed away, and

the son of wife, B, if he wanted, he could get married to wife a. So basically, in one way, you're marrying your your, your half mother or stepmother in one way, but that was allowed, Islam abolished that practice so that this is something that is not permissible. So this is why we see these kinds of things happening. And not only that, but in some cases, the man if he wanted, he could just keep her and if she wants to be let go, then he would tell her that if you want to be let go, then give me your property. That's your freedom. And so in some cases, the women were almost forced, once again, women were forced to give their property so that they can free themselves. So Allah subhanho

wa taala. That's why he revealed this is telling the believers and telling the community that this is not allowed, if women are treated this way. lega Hill

Let come it is not lawful for you. Now there are some places in the Quran by the way that Allah subhanho wa Taala use the word Haryana, like in just some if later on, when Allah talks about which women are impermissible for men to marry, Allah use the word Halima. But the idea there is that when Allah subhanaw says that these women are haram for you, what he's trying to say is that these women are haram, but that means that every other woman who is not in this category, they are permissible for you, but when it comes to this ayah, Allah subhanaw taala is not trying to say that this is allowed or this is impermissible. So therefore, this is permissible, Allah is not trying to prove

something from here, that's why somebody Alama they mentioned that Allah did not use the word hardly my here and he you simply use the word now your Halal Netcom Secondly, we find in this is that the IRS says and telethon Nissa Garnacha, that it is not allowed for you, or it is not lawful, that you inherit women by compulsion. So then the question begs is that what if a woman says that she wants to be you know, she's okay, she's saying that it's not against my wishes in my desires. I'm okay in being transferred like property, and I'm okay and being inherited by someone else. So does this I mean, that if a woman's consent is there, she can be simply be inherited, mostly Sheffield.

rahmatullah wa Lei, who was the author of a very famous and well known tafsir known as Maori for the Quran, he writes in his Tafseer, that this does not mean that this is a condition. Rather, this is a simply a statement given by Allah subhanho wa taala, that in most cases, in most cases, I can almost speak for almost every woman when I say this, that no woman would be okay, in just being given away to some other man against her own will, against her own consent, and be treated like property. So this is why we find this in the Quran. And so this is why Allah subhanho wa Taala does not a condition by the way, that's just rather a statement that Allah subhanaw taala is making. And that's

why the question also that begs is that then what if the husband dies, and the woman wants to get married to another man?

What isn't that kind of situation? We always of course, there is no question about this. The way we go about this is that first of all, she has to spend her Ada, which is four months and 10 days out Tabata asuran washer, after she spends that, then after that, if she chooses to get married, than they have to go through a proper process of Nica mean that that man and this woman have to come together, and they have to be united in the bonds of marriage. The man cannot simply say that you know what I inherited from this man in the past, and now therefore, his wife is mine. And this woman says, I'm absolutely fine with it. No, even though first of all, I don't think any woman would be

fine with it. But even if a woman says I want to get married, a Nika is required. Also, what we learn from these kinds of ayat is the question then comes up also in the discussion that comes up is, can a woman be forced into a marriage against her own consent, and you know, subhanAllah, we see this happening a lot, especially in a lot of Muslim communities. And within a lot of, you know, Muslim countries, where women are forced into marriages, the Mother, the Father, they come to their daughter, and they say that we have found someone suitable for you and you have to get married to him. You know, I want to share with you something interesting that we find the hadith of Rasulullah

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, a woman came to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, and she complained that she was forced into a marriage without her consent. And you know what the Prophet saw some did he first verify that he never just took her word for it, he verified it. And once if once he found out that that was actually what happened, he had no the marriage, a woman is not supposed to be forced into any kind of marriage. If any woman is forced into a marriage, she has a right to say no. And I want every single woman to understand this to that when it comes to marriage. It is your right, it's your decision. Yes, I understand that when it comes to parents. And I'm not

saying you should not listen to your parents at all, especially those who do wish to get married in the future. Yes, do take the recommendation of your parents, don't listen to your parents. You know, in these kind of situation. There's always two extremes. The one extreme is that I'm going to do exactly what my parents say to me, and they'll make the decision for me, whether I like it or not. And the second extreme is that I don't even want to consult with my parents. I don't even want to take their input. And I think our Dean always teaches us a very balanced

approach, do talk to your parents take their you know, they have taken care of you all their life they care for you. So do take their recommendation, you do not have to agree to them. You know, that's something ardiente does, you don't have to always agree to them. But you cannot be disrespectful to them either. And, in this case, if a woman is being forced into a marriage, she has a right to say, No, I don't. And if the parents, if the parents because the girl says, and she says I don't want to, and she turns down the proposal, and the mother and father, they push her into this marriage, and she lives in that marriage and she's unhappy. And later on, you know, people, they

eventually just they begin to just live with it, the acceptance, so forth, but that mother and father will be held accountable before Allah subhanaw taala on the Day of Judgment, that how can you force someone into a marriage. So this is why this is not allowed at all. In Ardene. Also, what we do learn is something that we also see is that

if a woman is giving something, as I said earlier, you know, when it comes to marriage, it is completely hers, and no one can take it from her. Now the reason I'm mentioning this is because in some cases, when a man begins to abuse

and he begins to neglect his, his wife, that in that kind of situation what happens is because long time ago, once again, the man will say if you don't want to be my wife and you want to go that give me everything that you have inherited in the past. So in that situation, Allah subhanho wa Taala also teaches us that we should not be harsh with our women and these kinds of things. Allah says wala Tao Zulu Hoonah Lita, Habu be bow the Mai Tais to Munna and do not make difficulties or do not create difficulties for them in order to take back what you gave them. So if you gave them something, and now the time comes and let's just say the marriage is not working out for some

reason, and you know, you have to you know, ends up in divorce and so forth. Then in that case, you cannot sit there and keep on harassing the woman. And you know, the Quran does also say the Quran also wants to be fair and the Quran says Illa Tina bifurcation a MOBA, you know, unless the wife commits,

you know, something immoral and immoral here means that if she is involved in illicit relationship, or she has cheated on her husband and so forth, then in that case, the husband can push her and he can put some apply some pressure on her to give back the Mahara. So once again, I want to explain this, that usually in many cases, what we see is that, you know, there is something called a Talaq that a man divorces his wife, then there's something called a hola that a woman's she's seeking a divorce, and we learn from the seed of the Prophet sallallahu adios. And I'm for it like, for example, in the case of

in the case of Xena, one of the wives of the Prophet sallallahu. It was send them that ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala is the one who conducted her marriage with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and that case, she was married to the steps to the adopted son of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Zaid, now one thing that we learned is that in that situation, if a woman that in that case, Zayn upset, I don't want to be married with him, there was nothing wrong with Zaid Z was a very good person. So we find that in cases where the man is not abusive, the man is a caring, loving husband. And he's always there taking care. In that situation. If the wife wants to get away, then they go

through the process of hula. And once again, there's a lot of FIP related to this, which I'm not getting into right now. But usually what happens in that situation is that they that she will return the Mahara back to the husband, but in case that the there has been some abuse or some foul play done from the husband, then in that case, he gives it a lock and she he does not get anything in return from that. In fact, he has to even provide, he has to provide, you know her,

you know, he has to provide some pay and some financial assurance to her. And not only that, but he will financially take care of her while she's going through her. In case they have gone through a divorce. But will usually what we have seen also happening is that there is abuse taking place from the husband, by the husband is either so where we have seen a lot nowadays, and I'm going to be very open and blunt about this. Sometimes we find cases where there are secret marriages taking place. Sometimes there are cases where the husband is cheating on the wife. Sometimes there is a lot of verbal abuse or not not just verbal abuse, physical abuse that is taking place. So when there is

some kind of wrongdoing from the from the husband, now a lot of husbands What do they say, I'm not going to give you a divorce is almost as if they're using this authority to trap their wife. And eventually the wife is saying that I want to be free from this marriage because why would I want to be married to a man who is going behind my

back and he is committing haram. Or why would I want to be with a man who has kept and he was sickly got married to another woman, and I'm living in this way, and I don't want to be living in this way I just don't want to be treated as Allah subhanaw taala says forever to her kalamalka, you know that she's just there just for that purpose. I mean, she just there, she has no purpose in the family, the husband does not really care for her. In that way, the the wife is unhappy in that situation. So that's why a lot of times what they say is because they know that if I give a talk, then I have to take care of her. And not only that, but I don't get anything in return. So that's why a lot of

times the men they say I'm not going to give you a divorce. So the Quran is saying that in these kinds of situations just because you want the property back, you cannot harass her, you cannot harass the woman for this. Once again, if the wrong has been done on her part, then yes, the man can put and he can apply some pressure on her to return the MaHA. Now the next thing that Allah subhanaw taala says in this ayah is why should Ohana Bill maruf that live with them in kindness live with women and kindness and see you know Subhanallah when you look at this I when you look at this word is you to Hoonah anyone who's a student of the Arabic language can tell you that this word is you

rule is Allah giving a command to who the woman or the man it is to the man and in the HANA, the vomit Hana it is the muffle here that is in reference to the woman. So it is Allah subhana wa Taala telling the man that you have to treat your woman well you have to treat your wife well. And you know one thing that we as men, I will say this honestly as men, we have to understand that the command from Allah subhanho wa Taala first is coming to us here. Like even in the iron. Like a lot of people they misunderstand this idea which comes later on incidentally, sir, Regina Kawamori Allah Nisa, that pretty much means that you are caretakers, and that's your responsibility. Now, a lot of

times, you know, we get into this whole debate that who owns you know, who owes who and who's who's a very first person who has to show that kindness and that respect, and so forth. And without getting into all this debate, just go back and look at the life of the prophet saw Salem. I mean, we debate about these kinds of things. And without even looking at the seed of the Prophet sallahu wa salam, as Allah says, or the cannula confit rasool Allah He is what an Hasina. The best example for us is an example of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So how would Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam treat his wives? Did he ever get into this kind of like debate and his argument? No, you

gotta show me respect first, and then I'll show you respect. The ever go home and say, Don't you know who I am, I'm the Prophet of Allah. People respect me, people come from far away, to come and see me. And this is the way you treat me at home. The promise of son was always the person who never demanded his rights. He was a very first person to always give and fulfill other people's rights. And once again, especially to our brothers and men. Remember that, please, Allah subhanaw taala orders you to show kindness. And I'm not saying that the women do not have any responsibilities. They have a lot of responsibilities, too. They have to show a certain level of respect also for

their husband, they have to protect, protect,

the wealth and the the sanctity of that marriage also, same thing applies to men, men and women, they both have responsibilities to take care of. I'm not saying only here that the men have the responsibilities and the women can do whatever they want. I'm not saying that. So this is why once again Allah subhanho wa Taala teaches us and we also see this being demonstrated by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and there are a hadith such as the Hadith of the Prophet alayhi salam where he says hi you to come here to accompany Allah, He will enter hydrocone Ernie, where he says it his sound the best amongst you is the one who is the best to his family. Because if you are the

best to your family, think about it. You're gonna be home for the most part of the day, especially during this pandemic, we're always at home. So if you are good to your family, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, then the best this is this is the best amongst you is the one who is the best for his family. And he says I am the best to my family. When the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam you know there are so many stories, so many stories, so many things that we find the Sierra like, even how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know how he would sometimes you know, you know joke around with his own wife how you would like, you know, play around with them

how he would like, you know, you know, he will involve he will indulge in humor at times with them. Like when it came to Aisha, he raised with her when Aisha, she had less weight Aisha was able to do to you know, she beat the Prophet saw him in a race fair and square. The Prophet SAW Allah who it was sent him later on in his life when I shot had put on little more weight, and she had increased and other problems.

Um they you know, they had a race. And this time the Prophet SAW Solomon he won and he says, this is because of when you when you beat me earlier, so this kind of you know these kinds of things, was always very, very much alive in the life of the prophet son and between him and his wives, and this is why this is something that we got to do really within our families. And I want to mention something at the end also when it comes to our families, and I want you to pay attention to that too. But going going forward, ALLAH SubhanA wa then says for encourage to Munna fossa and Takara who che wager Allahu fi he Hi Ron cathedra. Now a person can say well, I don't like my spouse at all.

And Allah subhanaw taala is telling first of all the men but this can also can be applied to both men and women. If anyone is seeking to be separated for whatever reason it is Allah subhanaw taala saying that if you now he's talking to the men here he says if you disliked them for engaged Munna for Arsa, and tecra, who che i Perhaps you dislike something about her, when Allah houfy Heilung cathedra. But there's a lot of good that you're not looking at, meaning that ALLAH SubhanA is telling us that before we jump to conclusions, before we make irrational decisions, you know, look at the person and remember, not every single person is perfect. You know, today we you know, you

know, people say I want a perfect wife, you know, men say I want a perfect wife. The question that I have for you is are you a perfect man, you know, there is no such thing called a perfect person. Everyone has flaws. Everyone has weaknesses, everyone has deficiencies. But what we do is that when we work together as a team, and team staff are what Together Everyone Achieves more. When a husband and wife they work together as a team, and they overlook each other's deficiencies. And they learn how to be patient, Allah subhanaw taala is saying that if you learn how to overlook them, there's probably a lot of other things that you might find good in them. And you know, as we as we always

say, in English, the grass is always greener. On the other side, you're thinking to yourself that, okay, if I just if I end this marriage, and I get married to someone else, remember any other person that you get married to, they're gonna have flaws. And that flaw may drive you up the wall too. So that's why it is always very important that we always try to look at the good within someone and not look at the not always focus on the wrong, in fact, even Ebro Abasto Viola, and he says that, you know, perhaps Allah subhanho wa taala, he may even grant you from both of you, he may grant you both a child, and that child will keep you both United, and that child will bring happiness to both of

you. So this is why Allah subhanaw taala is telling us that do not just simply jumped to conclusions. Now this is not Allah subhanaw taala saying that, you know, in cases that the husband and wife are just not compatible at all, then you cannot, you know, you cannot go to the option of divorce. In that case, after you exhaust all options, if you need to get to that. And that's the only and that is the solution overall, and after consulting with other people. If that is what it is, then it is what it is, unfortunately, but we should never jump to conclusions. Now finally, the last thing I will say is, one of the things that we talk about when it comes to women is also the

importance of not only just taking care of them, but something that we see very predominant. And this is not only within our own Muslim community, this happens a lot everywhere else and all different cultures and so forth. And that is physical abuse or domestic violence. And once again, if Allah subhanaw taala is talking about that do not inherit women. Because once again, they're human beings, they're not property, you know, they have a heart, they have feelings, they should choose who they want to get married to in their life.

At the same time,

you know, when Allah subhanaw taala is institutionalizing these things for them, so that they are not mistreated. Now, think about today, we have so many cases where women are physically being abused at home. And I've said this before today, especially during this pandemic. You know, many, many psychologists and marriage therapists are writing about this nowadays, that in families where there is a high level of domestic violence that takes place, these times are even more tougher for them because they're always around the they're always around the abuser. And I have a message to everyone and especially here talking to the Muslim world here. I have a just a simple message for

you. And I want you to think about this.

You if we claim. If we claim to love Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, ask yourself this one question, would the prophesy son ever do something like this to his wife? If you claim that you follow this law, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, and I love Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, but at home. This is how we're treating. We are being physically abusive to our family.

mentally, or, or emotionally abusive to our family? Where does that exist in the life of the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam I mean, how are you going to show if you are an abuser? How will you show your face to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on the Day of Judgment. When you say, oh prophet of Allah, I love you, I follow you. But your actions are saying the other wise i You shall be Allah Quran has says that never did or saw some ever put a raise his hand upon any of his wives. If I am a follower of the deen of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, this is never how you treat your family members, specially the woman who cares for your children, especially the woman who takes

care of all the affairs of the house, especially the woman who is looking after, you know, you know, it's not easy looking after children 24/7 But that is what our women are doing in many cases. And yet we feel that it's as if we own them. You know, I'm going on a tangent here. But another kind of abuse that we see in our in our society is men are almost treating polyp as a threat. You know, you Nicaragua talaga if you don't do this, I'm gonna give you a divorce brothers and sister brothers. When did the person ever treat or use the word HELOC in this way? Like if you once again, if you are a follower of the dean, if you claimed to love and follow and admire Rasulullah, sallAllahu

wasallam. And this is your behavior? I mean, shame on you, I'm sorry to say, I mean, how can you do this. So that's why there should be no volume in any capacity against anyone in our family. And there are cases yes, where the woman also comes loose against the man and the husband. Also, Varun is not allowed in any capacity. And that's why we have to take care of our families. Women should not be treated like this. And not only that, but all these practices that we used to see longtime were that used to happen Allah subhanaw taala abolished all those practices, because everyone in a society has rights. While the mother has rights, the father also has rights. The husband has rights,

the wife has rights, the children have rights, relatives have rights, everyone has rights. Our job is to fulfill everyone else's rights. And the provinces have also taught us that you don't ever worry about our people fulfilling your rights or not. At the end of the day, Allah subhanaw taala on the Day of Judgment will not ask us that who did not fulfill your rights. Because today we have like this whole big, you know, database of complaints, oh, this person did this to me and this person did this to me and so forth. The question that Allah will ask you and I on the Day of Judgment brothers and sisters is how much did you fulfill the rights of others? Who you I mean, how much did you

fulfill the rights of others around you, your parents, your children, your husband, your wife, your brothers, your sisters,

your relatives, your neighbors? That is what Allah subhanaw taala asks on the Day of Judgment, so ask ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada to give all of us ability to treat each other fairly. To be respectful towards one another. Ask Allah subhana wa Tada to give us ability to develop the clock of the Prophet salallahu Salam and to treat everyone like we would like to be treated in all cases in all circumstances. I mean, no blood I mean does akmola here as salaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakato

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