Planning to Divorce

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

I’m going to fix her!” “I will show her what I can do!” These are statements made by men when the level of relationship with Allah is at its lowest. But Allah Almighty is the Most Just. It’s important to know how Allah helps those who are wronged and punishes the wrongdoers.

Release them upon good terms. Be respectful even in dispute. Above all, be fair and just! The Prophet Muhammad pbuh would never condone bad behaviour towards women.

#divorce #talaaq #mahar #muftimenk #lovepreacher #motivationalmoments

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Salam aleikum, my brothers and sisters.

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Increasingly, people are becoming unhappy with their marriages. And it's causing a problem. Obviously, this does happen sometimes, we need to remember try and resolve your matters, try and solve your problems because you will have a problem with everyone. If you're going to just divorce because of one problem, you're definitely going to be having problems with all sorts of people's if you're not going to be prepared to try and solve the matter, you're not going to get anywhere. So I've been receiving emails, messages, I've been dealing with cases where the men are becoming greedy sometimes such that they don't want to live with their wives, because they're either having an

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affair or they're, they're either leading some form of a dark life, or they simply don't like the wife anymore. They neither share intimate moments with them, they probably sleep separately with them in a lot of cases, and they don't want to divorce them. And they don't want to do anything about it. They neither want to release them, nor do they want to keep them properly. This is prohibited. The Quran says that you should not leave a person who Allah Allah meaning she's hanging, neither can she say she's married because the guy is not even behaving like a husband. And there's no rights being fulfilled, nor can she say she's divorced, because she doesn't have the divorce. So

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in that case, normally the scholars are to come in, and to resolve the matter if need be, they can nullify that marriage. Unfortunately, a lot of scholars, and a lot of Ola bodies and so on, they take a very long time to determine things and to try and make things work and to patch things up and sometimes ridiculously so sometimes rightfully so. But I believe it needs to be expedited in the sense that it shouldn't be taking too long, especially in this day and age to determine what's happening. And if there is wrong happening that nicka can be nullified and should be nullified very, very quickly. May Allah make it easy for us. The nullification of a nigga is generally considered as

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one, irrevocable by law, which means if the two would like to come together, they may come together again with a new marriage with a new nikka. But it's not like it's over forever and ever. However, my brothers and sisters, what I want to say today is some of these greedy men have gone away with the belongings of their wives. They go away with the belongings of their wives, just today, I was dealing with a case where someone went away with the jewelry that the parents of this woman gave her at the time of marriage. And this guy, he thinks it's his right, he's been having an affair or he's been, you know, wrong. He married someone not wanting to marry her, probably because his parents

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told him that you we don't want you to marry the person you want to marry. So now he married someone else. And when he didn't touch her, or he didn't even fulfill her rights in any way, he didn't treat her like a wife. What happened is, the marriage was falling apart. Now they prepared to give a divorce. But they're saying that you know what, whatever, whatever gold was given to you is now ours, we're not going to give it back to you. And we want you know, we we're not going to give you anything, even the mark, we're not going to give it back to you. We're not going to give it to you, my brothers, my sisters, that Maha is owed to the woman it is owed to her, it's her right. If you

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don't give it to her, Allah will take it from you, through sickness, through accidents through some form of disaster, that money is not yours, Allah will take it from you. So rather give it like a good boy. Give it properly then to be a bad person and wait for Allah to take it away from you through your hospital bills. That's just an example. That is just an example. He can take it from you in any way he wishes, but he will take it from you it's not yours. And you would still have earned the sin of not having given it to its rightful owner.

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The same applies her bangles, her things, her belongings, you're not returning them, you're not giving them Allah will take it from you in another way through sickness, like I said, through disease, through accidents, through stress through whatever else, it will go from you. Without a doubt. Allah does not leave people to oppress others. He gives you a chance to resolve the matter of chance differs from person to person, the length of it, sometimes it's a few days, sometimes it's weeks, sometimes a few years, but never more than just a few years. It will come back to haunt you in such a way that you will not even know why is it that everything is going wrong? That's why we

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say when things go wrong for you. Have you wronged someone have you stolen someone's wealth? Have you oppressed a person have you actually usurped the wealth of someone swarmed them hurt their feelings you pay for that? The Almighty makes sure that you pay for that. So don't think you're gonna get away. So why

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I want to say, How are you so hard up so hard that you don't even want to give up. You don't even want to divorce this woman. You want to make life so difficult, Allah will create difficulty in your life. In a short span of time, in a short span of time, it will happen. You create difficulty for someone the Almighty is watching. He gives you a period of time to resolve the matter if you're not going to do that he will create difficulty in your life.

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So please remember this.

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Today was really something very sad. The case that I was dealing with today was actually connected to this. And, you know, I wonder why wealthy people play bigger games than those who don't have much sometimes you have people who don't really have much, they are ready to give back things they are ready to do things they are ready to, to actually resolve matters, they are ready to issue the talaq, etc. But the wealthier we get, the more arrogant we become the more we want to hold on to wealth reminds me of Abu lahab he was a wealthy man so miserly that Allah makes mention of his miserliness in the poor, and what are you going to do with that money? Are you going to take it in

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your grave? No. So then use it and give the peoples do before it is too late. Give them more than what they are owed, because you have much more. Because the Hadith of the Prophet SAW Selim says a person who gives more is far better than the one who holds back now Allah subhanho wa Taala safeguards. So there are a lot of men out there who want to fix the women by stealing their property by stealing their rights by usurping the right I'm talking here at the time of divorce. And I'm talking here at the time when life you know, is broken down. The man is having an affair. He's enjoying himself, he's doing whatever he wants, in a haram way, or in whatever else, we will leave

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this woman alone, let her go and do her thing. Let her continue in her life, let her have her thing. And if you release her release her with honor, that's the sign of a Muslim.

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When you release someone with honor, that's what the Quran says that if you're giving them a divorce, do it with honor and respect. Today, I witness non Muslims with such honor and dignity, they divorce in a way that the children are least affected but get to the Muslims. The holier they are the wealthier they are the dirtier the divorce, they pretend like gamma came and that's it. But you were intimate with this person. You had kids with this person. And today, you want to ban the kids from seeing their mom or their dad, you want to tell them how evil this person is. Don't involve your kids in the mess. Don't involve your children in your mess. That was a mess between you

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and the father or the mother of that particular those children. If you were to make the kids counselors at the age of eight and five, I promise you, it will stunt their growth there. They don't deserve that. Let them understand. Look, I didn't get along with your mom. But you know what, we're good people she's still your mom until the end of the world meaning Illa commissar you go into the hereafter Allah chose that as your mom, that person and me as your dad or whatever else, you need to know. The moment you use children as a weapon, you pay the price for it, you will watch it you will see what will happen. That is foolish behavior. And like I say, the wealthier people are the holier

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they are. When I say holy, I mean they can be making five or $6 a day includes that includes that the head Dude, you know, and this is why some kind of law, it's very, very dangerous for us sometimes when we think we're holy, but Allah tests you with things that are tough for you. You've got to throw your ego aside, throw it aside and do what's right. You're holding somebody money, throw your ego, give it you're holding somebody's property, throw your ego give it you don't throw your ego, you're going to pay a price for it and I'm not mincing my words, you will pay and that payment will be very, very heavy. Remember this, resolve your matters. If you cannot then Allah says

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separate with honor with dignity. You know, we don't have to be bitter. Don't talk bad about people after the divorce, it's over. You didn't get along with him, someone else will get along with him. So your story is closed now move on. But the more we continue talking about our past and what happened, the less we would be able to succeed in our future. Remember this. So I really call it all those who are struggling in their marriages firstly to solve the problems to resolve the matters because as I started the session, you need to resolve your problems if you want to divorce just because of small things minor matters. I saw a little clip that was doing its rounds on WhatsApp

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where on the day of the metal wedding.

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The poor bride went to play a game with the groom to try and you know, tease him by putting the cake to his mouth and then taking it away before he could bite it. And he slept is such a hot slept. I think that's the hardest thing he's probably ever done because he definitely it was something silly. And I'm quite sure that that marriage something very bad must have happened to it if it didn't break. So if

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That's the behavior of the people, then why get married in the first place? control your anger, your temper, say good words. Could you be a lovely person I want to talk about in the next few sessions, perhaps I'll talk about whether or not you are really worth being a wife or a husband? Are you really worth being a husband? People want to get married? Do you really know what it takes to be a husband? What you're going to need? If you want to be a husband, I think we're going to have to talk about that. And even a wife, we're going to have to talk about this because people think I want to get married and love you, I want to get married and they get married and they slapping each other

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swearing each other and they don't even know what marriage is all about. They have no idea. And then they think, oh, it didn't work. But you didn't even know what marriage is about. This is why I am one who encourages very strongly that you do courses before you get married on marriage and marital life. What is it that is required of me and what am I owed, so you know, not to be trampled upon. And you also know not to trample upon, respect each other, come on, come on, respect each other, make each other smile and laugh at times, you know, have moments that are really cherished, such that it's the day you go, you will be remembered and so on. May Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us.

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This video was connected to the problem that people face upon divorce of not being given their property not being given their gold not being given their mother, the cheating that's happening. And the difficulty is scholars Unfortunately, sometimes side with the men because they think well, we just need that a lot. I promise you, it is their duty to help nullify that nigga if needed, and it's our duty to, and we do that we actually do it. The thing is, each person has territory. And I wouldn't like to enter territory that's that I'm not mandated to operate within. So if it's my own territory, it's a different thing. If it is someone else's territory, well, you've got to discuss it

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with the scholars there. And we have to understand my brothers and sisters. When when we are holding the property of other people, we should be ashamed of ourselves totally ashamed. They it's not like they needed to don't need it. It's their right. It's their property. How can you steal the man of your wife? You haven't given it? How, what what do you think I was going to do? When Allah says in Surah, Al Majid Allah, Allah says at the Sami Allahu Allah Leti to God, Luca, fiza, watashi Illa Allah, Allah has heard the one who is discussing with you or who is complaining to you about her husband, complaining to Allah subhanho wa Taala. And you know, the term wujud Allah is used, which

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refers to a type of a debate or a type of discussion that has in it a slight bit of,

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you know, argument argumentativeness, if that's a word, but Allah make it easy, because we need to be human beings Come on, you should learn to love people and to care for them, and to care for even those you dislike. Because you have family members, you have perhaps perhaps sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, how would you like it if they were treated that way? Some people would say, Well, I don't mind that stuff. But like you don't have a heart, you don't have a heart, treat others the way you would like to be treated, because a day will come. If you have treated people badly that Allah will create someone to pay you back. by treating you 10 times worse. Remember that.

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And when you pay for it, it's not going to be funny, it's really going to be very, very difficult. So if you create a difficulty for someone, Allah will create difficulty for you. And the Hadith says, If you create ease for someone, the Almighty will not only create ease for you in this world, but on the Day of Judgment, he will create easily one of the wealthiest one of the qualities of the wealthiest of people is that he or she can forgive, forgive, don't hold it in your heart. It is a quality that is amazing to be able to forgive release. It's okay. What did you benefit from it? You know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take this person's wealth, what am I going to get from it? Give it to

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them? It's okay, take it. And you know what, if they want this, take that to Subhana Allah, may Allah make it easy. I'm not saying allow people to trample over your rights, but I'm talking to the other side, those who are holding back other people's things, learn to release all of that, give that away, meaning give it to the rightful people. And let's not hold that grudge so badly. I was telling the same person today. I was saying, You know what? Yes. The guy owes you the wealth. The guy owes you the money. The guy owes you the gold. The guy owes you whatever other belongings are there. The guy doesn't have to give it to you. I tell you what, you keep on going with your own

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life. lead your life. And don't expect it to come because Allah will bring it to you. Allah is going to give you your wealth. Say for example,

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$1,000 are owed to you,

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Allah will give you that 1000 in another way, because it's written for you, it's meant for you, you might get a good deal, you might get a good job, you might get something else that's worth that 1000. And Allah says your 1000 is back to you. And you know what that person has 1000 that is not this, Allah will take it away from them in one way or another. So wealth will definitely get to who it belongs to. Allah does not make mistakes. If you're owed 1000, you will get 1000 you might get more if Allah has written more, and if it's not written, it's not coming. And if this person has something that's not theirs, Allah will take it if you don't give it. Like I said, He's going to

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take it in hospital bills in accidents in some form of damage in floods and disasters in everything else, because that wealth is not yours. So learn to give it back. May Allah subhanho wa Taala guide us Oh, I hope I've encouraged the men out there to sort the matters out learn to issue if you have to don't put a person in a corner for years of past five years of past eight years have passed. You haven't been living with each other. No sleeping with each other. No looking at each other and you still holding back that bollock? Do you really think Allah is happy with that situation? Do you really think that Allah is happy with what you're doing? And people say? It's okay, we'll sort it

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out on the Day of Judgment, you will be shocked to learn on the day of judgment that the doom may come to you rather than the person who thought we will sort it out with you on the Day of Judgment, what day of judgment? Are you that arrogant that you want to leave it for a day when you won't even know who's right and wrong? We've seen greedy people on earth very greedy. And sometimes the wealthier they become the greedier, they become I'm sorry to say this, not in all cases, but sometimes

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the people who hold back the rights of others are the wealthiest of the lot. And this is why when we're doing business, many people complain that you know, the poor come and they will pay the rich come and they demand the discount. They demand a better deal. They demand something worse, when they come to pay us. Say for example, we've agreed on a certain price, they will pay you they will shortchange you and say no, take it or leave it. I mean, that is mentioned in the Hadith of the Prophet, Sunnah. With the processor, Lance's maternal honeymoon, when a wealthy person does this, it is it is wrong. That's one of the meanings of the Hadees that's agreed upon. You know, you cannot do

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that. Because you're a wealthy person. You think, okay, I can take my 10. And then you go to a person and say, right, look, you know what, we agreed to give you 5000 rupees for this thing here, but I'm giving you for Take it or leave it and move, but the deal was done. Everything was over. Everything was already closed and sealed. How can you come now that everything now that you owe me the money, and you have much more than I do? You have millions and I only have a few 1000s and you just decided to chop me off? Allah will take that 1000 that you agreed but didn't give in another way that you won't like? Like I said, hospital bills, stress, accidents, floods, disasters, through

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whatever other means. It's going to go rather give it to that person tell them look, we agreed on five but never mind. I was so happy with the job I'm giving you six. They'll make do have for you, they'll pray for you. People will hope that you get even more wealth because you're giving it to people. What on earth are you going to do with that? Well, I've known of people who are so charitable, but they steal, they steal from other people in business, but they are charitable, you know what that means? The wealth that they've given in charity will actually go next to the name of the person whom they've stolen it from. So you did a deal for 5000 the person came and provided you

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the product, the products or whatever product was for 5000 when you shortchange them and told them here's four Take it or leave it, they took it when you gave a charity for another 10,000 to 1000 goes next to the name of the person whom you robbed, you robbed. And guess what, Allah will still take more wealth away from you. May Allah subhanho wa Taala, safeguarded, why don't we understand? What do you think Allah says, he doesn't talk to us. He doesn't wrong. He doesn't forget. He watches everything he sees it. He gives you time to mend and to make amends. If you don't, he will intervene. It's called divine intervention. When that divine intervention comes, I promise you there

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is going to be a massive, massive loss.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all. So here goes. If you're, if you're listening to this video, and you are guilty, I'm not talking about you in particular, but I'm talking about cases such as yours. So take heed, and I promise you, you're listening to this not by mistake. It was meant to from Allah for you, even if I don't know you. This particular case is referring to an email I received today, a phone call subsequently that I received today and I was dealing with today. And it's shocking. It's very shocking. It's very sad. And I thought to myself, I have to talk about this. How can you not give someone the man how it's there? Well, Allah will take it away from you

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anyway. And Allah will give them Baraka in one other way, perhaps Allah will give them

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Something you don't have. And that's the third time I'm saying it tonight. But I promise you, I'm passionate about it because someone needs to talk about it. So let's learn to

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release people or break. If we are going to break a relationship or a marriage or whatever else, it should happen with honor and dignity, with respect. Bearing in mind that when we came together,

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we came together with the name of Allah. Many times when divorces happen, people show their true colors. And you cannot believe that you were actually married into this family. That's what people say, I can't believe these are the people I can't believe when they came across to ask for our hand in marriage. They were like, the most holy, the most soft, the most well natured, the most smiling, the most loving, the most caring, they brought gifts, and they came with this and they came with that. And they only showed their true venom

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when things didn't go their way. That's why people show their true colors when things don't go their way. You want to see someone's true colors. Check what happens when things don't go their way. May Allah protect us, I can't believe that we were actually actually

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married Subhan Allah, living together and now the enmity is such that we've even forgotten that we owe our obligations unto Allah and you know, our children and so many other people. Now Allah subhanho wa Taala safeguard every one of us.

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Yeah, we see the a lot of the comments that are there and really I am quite sure that nearly everyone will know cases that are connected to what we've said this evening. I will give this a title and inshallah posted shortly on YouTube May Allah bless you all. salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.