Most Revealing Hadith on Gender in Islam
Channel: Mohammed Hijab
File Size: 20.80MB
What if you are dying from thirst and hunger? Would you give your Eman up your faith up in order to survive? Probably not probably not. Because you'd rather die in hunger and thirst and give up your religion, right? This is how much we value our faith. It's priceless brothers and sisters, let me introduce you to Norway. This is a European country where the vast majority of people have become religious, or 200,000. Muslims have a population of about 5 million. And most of these 200,000 Muslims have no idea how to explain Islam to their non Muslim friends and neighbors. What that means is change. Allah sent His Messenger to cool people to eternal success. And that is why Muslims in
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As Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah here, but I can't tell how are you guys doing? There is one Hadith which is a very special Hadith, which is very pertinent to the issues relating to gender. Now, especially in the modern age, after the Enlightenment period after the Renaissance, after all these times, and different kinds of ideologies have emerged. The question is, to what extent have those ideologies especially in the West had an impact on human society? Now it's a very important question, both for religious audiences and non religious audiences. I came across this hadith in Bahati. And actually, there are lots of Hadith which corroborate this hadith is called total
different pathways of Hadith. Talking about a very interesting incident, and I regard this hadith for my very limited knowledge of Hadith as probably the most telling Hadith, of gender relations in Islam or in the seventh century period. Now, why is this important for religious people or non religious people, Muslim audiences and non Muslim audiences alike? Because one question that has kind of plagued our imagination has been, to what extent have ideologies the likes of say feminism second third wave feminism and the type of feminism has an impact on human behavior? To what extent has actually shaped what men or women do? To what extent have it has it shaped societies and gender
relations? I think this hadith is very important in answering that question. I'm not going to be giving you an exact word for words, narration of this hadith by I'm going to be spelling it out for you and kind of paraphrase terms and send a give you a link in the description box of the entire Hadith, although I may say as well, that this hadith has different narrations, but this one isn't Bihari.
In my best, who was the total German of the Quran, the the prolific Sahabi that wanted to know every little thing about Z Quran, he went to Ahmed Abu hottub, who, as many of you will know is the second caliph, after the death of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and after Abu Bakar, and also one of the best friends of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he went to him because he wanted to know the meaning of an A of the Quran in chapter number 66, where it says into two by Allah *a Surat Hulu bucola. If you both repent to Allah that Allah has made it, so that you may do so and this was a verse in chapter six that in that verse wanted to know who these two
were referring to. So he went to Omaha tab, and then I'm going to move hottub narrated the story to him. So the hadith is narrated by Edna Bess.
And I'm going to hottub started by saying something very interesting. He says, Can Marcia kurush comun Natalie Boone, he said Anna, he said that we the people of Quraysh who are a people who used to dominate our lives for Cardinal Medina, when we went to the Medina, the people that answer they were called Yahoo DSL, were people that their wives used to dominate them.
Now I found this very interesting, very surprising. I have to be honest, the first time I came across this hadith, it made me think this is all modern hardtop.
This is a seventh century audience. This is at least 1300 And something odd years before feminism could even be referred to as such. And there is this phrase you
Well as a very gendered phraseology being used, that we were a people that we used to dominate our lives. And these people have a Lancer, who are another group of people were a group of people he's saying their wives dominated them.
And he said, he narrates the story of going to his wife,
Alma Baba saying, I went to my wife and he was speaking to her about the attitudes of Medina society.
And she answered back to I'm on top hardtop. Now honorable kata for those who know, he was a very strong character, very assertive character, very extroverted character, extremely confident person. He was a feared man actually, were feared man, a big man, physically big and a big personality.
And remember, he was just saying that you know, we are the people that used to dominate our lives. And his wife knows answering him back. So he said at Tora Jain Honey, are you answering me back?
And his wife I'm gonna look at Tom's wife returned and she said, you know,
actually, you know, the prophets why even the prophets wives, who are meant to be like, you know, she's gonna say this, but who are in Islam meant to be the epitome of you know, they even they couldn't. Jordan and Abby Amina men and the heart is the lady that used to they used to live off the Prophet
withdraw from the Prophet Muhammad from the
night from the day into the night, meaning they used to give them the cold shoulder leads to withdraw from him.
And he was bewildered. He was completely befuddled and bewildered and be dazzled and shocked. And by this comment, so, oh, he got triggered. You want to put it in that he got triggered by that?
Because remember, I'm gonna tabs daughter Hafsa was the wife of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu, one of the wives of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ala Salah.
So he says, when he heard that, it's like, everything switched off, he put on his clothes. For Gemma, phi j. Moto Thea Ali, I got my clothes, and I put it on me. And he went to
his daughter. And he said to his daughter, he said to her, is it true that one of you, ie one of the wives of the Prophet used to
leave the Prophet sallallahu wasallam Miller, not in the heart of the lane, from the night from the day into the night, not from the night into the day, but from the day into the night, meaning it's not talking about marital relations or anything like that, because that will be a different level of transgression, which we have no evidence ever happened, by the way. But anyway, is it the case that used to do something like that?
She says, Yes, ma'am. She said, Yes. He said, whoever does anything like that Cotabato hotseat, she lost his failure.
And then he was triggered already. So imagine he's so good to his own daughter. And by the way, this shows us, it gives us a glimpse, I don't want to make too much commentary at this point, because I'll comment on this afterwards, of how the father in law deals with the son in law, a pious son little but this one, the most pious son in law. He got triggered on behalf of the son in law, in this case is the Prophet Muhammad Salah Salem, who loved the most.
Who he loved the most. He said,
You think? Don't ever do that? He says, Well done that is failure. And what about your friend, he's talking about Ayesha, who's who was known another wife of the Prophet, that she's old Minky we're in the business of She's more beautiful than you anyway. And she's more beloved to the Prophet Muhammad, Salah Salem. So he saw that she was being Jennea. She was being bold. So he was bold with her. She was triggering him, he triggered her.
And this is in many ways, the right way to advise a woman who is disrespecting her husband with all due respect. Now we see a lot of people. They see that the woman is complaining and withdrawing from the husband not giving him his rights. And they egg her on, they push her to do some more, you're doing more. This is the father of the he loves her so much. Yeah.
As the Quran says, with a call to fatty liver in Canada, call back if you speak to speak the truth, and even if it's someone close to you, so this was the main hedge and the way abominable hardtop.
So he went after that to see the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam himself, and he had the man guarding the door, his name was robot. He was guarding the door and he was by himself.
Because his wives had told him that the the Hafsa had told him that the Prophet Muhammad SAW Salam had been like secluded by himself, and this was going to give us another lesson.
By the way, which is a very important lesson, which we don't hear enough of. I'll tell you what happened. At first, he didn't allow anybody in including armor. But eventually healer, armor, healer armor come into the house. So armor came into the house and the first question he asked, he asked him, did you divorce your wives? And he said, No, he didn't divorce his wife. So he said, Allahu Akbar, Ahmed was celebrating because in reality, he doesn't want to see his daughter or any of the other Mothers of the Believers be divorced from Alaska.
So he was elated by the fact that he there was no divorce that took place.
And then I'm gonna Mahatama he said the same kind of thing that he was saying to ignore best in the beginning of narration, he and I want you to pay attention to the psychological cues here, the very important because they relate to the gender discussions that have happening now not just from feminist but from these red pill and all this kind of the things that will lie it is an eye opener to the men Hajj of the Prophet of how he dealt with these issues, before the Arab is the existence of these ideologies. So I'm gonna top stated the same thing as he stated before. He said, No, no, mashallah kurush, Holman nothing, even in Santa, we are people, we the people of Kurosawa people
that we used to dominate our lives.
And the people of allowance are there was used to dominate them.
So he's saying the same thing. The prophets reaction to this, he just smiled. Literally, the AP test him, he just smiled when he said, he just smiled. So he didn't really engage with that either. So yes, you know, and, to be honest, that was not the response of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, and then I'm going to hottub he stated that he went to his daughter, and he told her what he told her, you know, the Ayesha is more beloved and all that kind of things I told you before, and again, it said that the Prophet SAW Selim, he merely smiled. He did not engage with Ahmad.
And then I'm going to hottub he made Doha, a supplication to the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, because he was sleeping on this kind of straw. And he said, the people of you know, the Emperor of Rome and the Emperor of Persia, they have all this wide expanse and you're sleeping on the floor.
He goes on Make dua that Allah has tosya on you, he would expand your abode. Like you make your profit at that stage. He actually responded. He said, I'm not interested, why should I attack dunya this is it's not the thing I want. Because we hear often the eschaton and all that kind of thing.
Now, long story short,
I answered the Quran actually came down for this now why was the prophet secluding from all the wives because they were actually asking him to give him money that he didn't have. That's why in sort of absorb
yourself and be in control, not original highter dunya was in Avatar lane, that I came down which said that if you want the the dominance of this world, then come and I will set you free and so on. So there was an it was actually a choice given to the wives of the Prophet, if you didn't want to be with me, then you can go and it would actually be effective and an effectual divorce, they had the choice. Many things can be extrapolated from this hadith. Number one, the Prophet didn't really engage with the dominating
kind of discourse, the Honorable hottub came with, because actually in other places, the Prophet Muhammad Salah Salah has been described in a hadith kanessa, Helen, he was actually very easygoing. And he wasn't who if anything, he wasn't some show, rob the Hadith say that he was more easygoing than the people of Quraysh. Like people like I don't know, hardtop. Some say that he didn't fit into that category of people that used to try and dominate his wife and so on. He was very easygoing, which, by the way, flies in the face of some of the discourses that we're seeing in these manosphere spaces, where they think that the way to control your woman and so on, is to basically be obnoxious,
and overly extroverted and so on. There's a time and a place for everything. And really, there's no, there's almost no time in place for that. And the person I salon did that was not his main hedge. However, he didn't do nothing. He wasn't just taking abuse. He wasn't just, you know, accepting. And I'm not saying that they're even abusing him, quite frankly, but he wasn't accepting these complaints and demands from his wives. How did he manage the behavior of his wives?
Really, you can call this anxiety recruitment method. And really in Islam, this is referred to as Illa. And then ILA is something unless you know, Luna Minister em.
Tara Basu, Urvashi Ashura is no Quran Illa what is the law when you say you take an oath that I'm not going to see my wife for X amount of time?
and you have up to four months. And this is the way that you create a healthy balance in the relationship. Because when the anxiety starts to accrue, and it will accrue on both sides. I mean, if a man is doing this anxiety will accrue for him as much as it will accrue for her.
And that in that situation is a useful Moment of Reflection
is a useful, useful and it's more useful than being in a toxic situation in the household where you're both shouting at each other. And there could be potential for clash and destruction and fighting and so on. So this was the way in which through which, and by which the prophets Isola decided to deal with serial complaining of nine women or say sorry to say, which were his wives, and they did complain, and he didn't just sit there and take the complaints. There's there's a limit to complaints. Yes, there's a limit to complaints in Islam. But then there's something we must as men acknowledge as well. Number one, it was very clear that the behavior of the Karachi woman, we're
sorry, the Ansari woman were affected by the Karachi woman. Oh, sorry, that the opposite? Yeah. So in other words, the fact that some women can become emboldened by other women, is not something which is because of the feminist movement. This was happening centuries before feminism even
was existed. Number two, you could even say that there are some trends, some cross cultural continuities in female collective temperament that existed in such a place as seventh century Arabia, which is not explicable by ideological reductionism. And therefore, it's important for us to realize that not everything is because of feminism that a woman can be at can be behaving in a certain way, simply because of psychological temperament. Not because she's, in fact, infected, influenced by the feminist movement or feminist ideology. It's not always the reason. So we have to be more nuanced. Because if it's the case, that even the highest of women can be influenced by one
another in the negative and that that brings them to act in a behaviorally unacceptable way. Then Bebo law Oh, from logical reasoning and analogy, sorry to say women that are not the wives, prophets are going to act in a very similar way. And that's why the Prophet Muhammad wa salam, he said,
Let us talk about Allah Tala can widen the Hadith, that a woman is not going to be with you.
On one way, and she's not going to give you one mood, you will find that there is a tempestuous and tumultuous way through which by which some women interact with their husbands. And that is something we have to accept, because accepting this means that our expectations will be realistic. You don't get married and think, Oh, she has to be completely submit. There's no such thing as a totally infallible woman that's going to do everything you want, every time you want. However, having said that, the Prophet didn't just take sorry to say, this behavior lying down. There was a reaction, and what kind of reaction was it? Was it shouting and swearing and pushing and No, no, no, no, it was a
reaction, whereby it removed himself from the situation. He done this thing called elap, which is sanctioned in the Quran, which is the right of a man and not the right of woman because the man is the column of the woman, which means that he has a certain authority that the woman does not have a jello Comunale in the side of my father, Allahu, Allahu Allah, Allah will be around for coming. I'm William, chapter four, verse eight, for the man is the maintain and protect of the woman. And so as also as mentioned the Quran, the owner's agenda, Allah He know that men have a degree of managerial capability of a woman. So clearly, there are some things that are put in place for the man to be
able to control otherwise tumultuous situation, and the Prophet opted for that which would
force the person into a state of reflection, force a person to be grateful for the person to be respectful. And then when he did come back 29 days later, to his wives, the situation was amended. So this is the way to deal with the situation. And so we take inspiration from the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on how to manage and mitigate the situation of gender relations with our wives. And I'm sorry to say so to should. The
women of today Muslim women of today look at this habit for a realistic guide. Yes, they made their mistakes, but they come back from them. That's why in the Quran, stated in the tuba and Allah for caatsa Hot Kulu Kuma that Allah has made it easy for you to to Toba, and of course, they did make it
Hoba which means they come back and they recognize their faults. And then cohesion can happen and stability of families can happen. But so much can be seen in this hadith by way of gender relations. In conclusion, not everything is related to feminism, sometimes it's to do with the female collective temperament. And we also as men need to have the right expectations. Women need to also have the right expectations. And that will be that and I thought it will be very interesting to look at that in juxtaposition with some of the work that we've already done on ideology. And hopefully that was beneficial salam alaikum, Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. What if you were dying from thirst
and hunger? Would you give you a man up your faith up? In order to survive? Probably not? Probably not. Because you'd rather die in hunger and thirst and give up your religion? Right? This is how much we value our faith. It's priceless brothers and sisters, let me introduce you to Norway. This is a European country where the vast majority of people have become religious, or 200,000. Muslims have a population of about 5 million. And most of these 200,000 Muslims have no idea how to explain Islam to their non Muslim friends and neighbors. But that needs to change. Allah sent His Messenger to cool people to eternal success. And that is why Muslims in Norway are now establishing a masjid
and dour center to enhance the Norwegian dour. What they cannot do this alone we need to support them. If you donate to discord you will insha Allah reap the rewards 1000s of Muslims coming back to Islam and many of those who become guides and invite slam, you will share in the reward for all those shahada is in good deeds to come in sha Allah. So click the link and donate now and share the video for extra Ward