How to take your family with you ep-1
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hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa salam ala LML mursaleen, Allah Allah, he was happy as mine.
what we will do
in today's session is, again, like what we did yesterday, which was really to build on the lecture in the, in the morning, and to answer any questions, and so on and so forth. And we just have a free
freewheeling session. So I'm going to, it's going to be directed by you. So you asked me the questions, I give you the answers. As far as I am able to do to get the ball rolling, I thought, let me share with you something that one of the brothers asked me and I think that's quite probably quite a common
situation in many places. And that situation is that
we don't always start off with a very Islamic environment at home. So we have whatever environment we have. This does not mean that your house is full of evil or something. But at the same time, it's also not, you know, Islamic, and you have children grown up children, teenagers, boys, girls,
and then Alhamdulillah, you get hit, you get
you get hit as of Allah subhanaw taala, Allah subhanaw taala then guides you and you come to Islam.
Now, the big problem, the problem is what do you do with the rest of the family?
And how do you get them to come into Islam as well, because the whole purpose is
a lot more than as a DIY livina hamanako and fuscia kumala coonara Makoto, and as well, well, ijarah, unless you believe Save yourselves and your family from the Hellfire Hellfire, which is the fuel of which is men and stones.
And that's what
and again, the you always translate a notch as men, and there's no need for you to feel happy about that, because NASA's people, so women are also included in that inshallah. So the point is that,
how do you do that? How do you save your family and yourself from the Hellfire, I think this is something to think about and reflect on.
Because if we are unable to do that, then there is
just a couple of times, throw them out and take out the spoon.
how do you begin,
I'm going to show you the most effective way of making a beginning
the worst thing that you can do,
the worst thing that you can do is
the worst thing you can do is to
leave it as it is or use force.
Because and this is the this is the biggest trap that many people fall into. Right? So you had this, people complain sometimes, you know, people complain to me, parents come and complain to me, and they say, My children are sitting in front of the TV the whole time.
You know, what do I do? And we try to force them they don't listen and this and that. And
if it's the man complaining, then he usually says my wife supports the children and she will she doesn't support me, and so forth. So I usually ask them, I said, How old are children? They say, Well, you know, what is nine one is eight, and so on. So I said, well, that's wonderful. I mean, when did your nine year old go and buy the TV? And why did you allow him to buy the TV? That's very wrong on your part. I mean, you should not have allowed your nine year old eight year old to go and buy a TV and bring it I said Where is the TV in your house? It's in a place with called TV lounge. So you are expecting to call a room TV lounge and your spectrum and to perform the hydrogen that are
I said is is there a place in your house called masala? No, but there's a place called TV lounge. Mashallah. And then you are very surprised my children watch TV all the time, what do you expect them to do?
Right. So the thing to do is
to create an environment what do you do in this situation you got already the fact that there is an Islamic environment in your house, you are also responsible for that maybe you are responsible for that not also what you are responsible for that.
Now that the atmosphere has been created and how to change that with a handler, you have come to Islam, and you realize the thing to do that you must change what you do and I am telling you don't use force because
Force only drives people away for doesn't help solve anything, if you take an axe and smash the TV,
it's not going to change their desire to watch television. So what do you do?
So listen carefully, number one,
do what Nabi sallallahu alayhi salam did,
not in terms of his house and so forth, but in terms of the myth of the methodology of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. What was the methodology of
his methodology was to first give Dawa by his own practice,
his own practice.
So, start practicing your religion
as completely as you can.
One of those things you should do is also to pray, start praying, the now I feel, and and so on and so forth at home.
Right, or if you live in a far off place, then you know, maybe a couple of different salons, you can go to the mercy to pray that at home, call the people to come and pray with you. Don't force them just call them call and wait for a while call karma and start praying. Right, so the first thing is that you're on your own
observances. So you're dressing you're walking, talking everything else. That's number one, number two.
And that also don't go to an extent if you've got a dining room or your dining table and so don't suddenly start sit on the floor there and start eating. take it step by step I mean that Yeah, people sometimes do funny things. And you can even you can sustain it because by now you are about 60 years old and your knees won't take it. So after a while, you've gone back to the table. Now what happens so don't go to that extreme. Just be with the you know, regular things that you can sustain and do. Second thing you do is recite the Quran, read the Koran, make it a time read the Quran, read it aloud and read it in the house every day.
Whatever you read, you read one Jews, whatever news you read, you read, you read the Quran and read it aloud every day there is a power, there is an intrinsic power. In the Kalam of Allah subhanho wa Taala.
We are all focused on translations and this and that.
I'm not saying don't read Translation by all means if to know the meaning until you learn Arabic, we have to know the meaning. So we lead the translation but I'm not talking about translation I'm talking about the column of Allah subhanaw taala, which is Arabic.
So read the Quran, if you don't know how to read the Quran, go learn
and then read the Quran. Every single day in the house, let the sound of the column of Allah subhanho wa Taala resonate from the walls of your houses.
Second thing, third thing, create a what we call in Applied Behavioral Science create a sentient system in the house, where there is some form of religious education some form of talent.
Right now those of you who know the W system will say our biggest now quietly promoting w ri methodology.
We learn from anyone we learn from anyone where it is good Alhamdulillah
nothing is it nobody has a copyright or knowledge. Nobody can put it put a label on knowledge. Start a methodology a time of time. So say after, when make sure that it's the time when everybody is at home, right? Sit with a book, take care of your own Nevada de la la or whichever book you find this and read from that book
and talk about the hobbies or file. The benefits of doing things don't get into the vassall don't make fatwa they don't say this Alhamdulillah don't go into that talk about the
these relating to for the number one talk also of the Hadith relating to the Ashura. So two very important things you talk about the Acura and you talk about
the benefits of what is the benefit of Salah what is what what's going to happen if I pray, Allah subhanaw taala said the Hadees that if a person prays the fourth Salah on time,
then it is my responsibility to forgive him and enter him into Jana.
There was a nephew of mine, who I was in Chicago and we were talking he used to work for Motorola at that time. So we talked we were talking in his house and I asked him I said do you pray? He said yes, I pray but you know, sarasa country.
I said, why not? He said because I'm at work. So I said so what if you're at work? I mean, I can do great work. He said no, there is no place and you know, my boss won't let me pray. I said, How do you know? Do you ask your boss? He said No, I never asked him but you know, he won't let magic This is rubbish. I mean, you never asked Him and you say he won't let you pray.
What is that? Right?
So I told him I said, Look, I am not telling you pray, don't pray. I'll just tell you one Hadith. And after that, I said it is a challenge of from me to you that you don't pray
to challenge Let me see how you want pray. So he said angelia What is this? So I told him, I said Rasul Allah Solomon founders, he said that Allah subhanho wa Taala said that the one who prays the five for Salah at the correct time,
it is my responsibility to forgive him and enter him into Paris. And the one who does not do that I do not have that responsibility. That does not mean Allah will throw him into the Hellfire what always saying is that this issue of the responsibility realizing this this caliber, Allah saying it is my responsibility to forgive him and enter him into Jannah What else do you want?
So I said, This is the hedis
Two days later, I get a phone call, I was up in Illinois in Champaign university, I get a phone call in the middle of the day.
And those days we didn't have a we didn't have mobiles and so on. So I get a call from somewhere and this is the hardest call so what happened is your is your kid and he wants to talk to you so I call him I say Hey, what's up? What's up? What's up? You know, are you okay? He said, I'm okay. I just called to tell you that I have started praying God and answer in the workplace from today and he said, You know what, an hour
when I went and asked my boss my boss says no problem you want a place to pray pray in my office.
Now look at that
we create all these barriers in our head You know, I can't do this I can't do that. Who told you can't do that? At least try No
make an effort was failed then we'll then we'll talk about whether you can do it or you can't do it. So create that environment and talk about the hobbies of other I'll talk about the hobbies that relate to the arts here I'm saying specifically to you and we must please correct me don't get into mosyle there because you don't know enough to get into mosyle and if you get into masal Chetan will come in and then because obviously you have an you have an Islamic environment in the house, the moment you start talking masala you are going to start saying this haram haram haram haram and that's going to get you into a lot of trouble.
So stay away from that for the moment. reason I'm saying is that before a person thinks about obedience,
the greatness of the one who he or she should obey was first enter their heart.
You know, the one of the
one of the elders.
I remember listening to a speech once and he gave a beautiful example. He said that there is this little, you know, five year old who's
playing outside in the street or wherever outside is playing and generally creating havoc.
Right now he says the police the Commissioner of Police, the head of police of the city, he drives up
the car with a red light and whatnot and bodyguard his machine guns and everything else. And he's also in uniform, he's got a sidearm, everything else and that man tries to tell this little kid you know, don't run around here. Don't do this. Don't do that. A kid is bothered.
He doesn't care he'll run around as much as he was doing without any
no result of that. Meanwhile, his mother hears all this noise. All she does is she opens the door she
just shows one hand like this and that good quiet becomes like a mouse back home.
Now in terms of power, who's more powerful the mother or the head of the police of the of the country or the city?
But whose power does the kid know?
The issue is not who is more powerful The issue is whose Asmath and power is in your heart.
It doesn't take any logic people. Today you get a good job in a company you feel very comfortable you feel very contented you feel very safe. We say Alhamdulillah I work for this big company I work for IBM I work for GE I work for this one that one of you are going to ask him but you know you are a Muslim? Tell me who's bigger G or Allah?
What's he going to tell you?
What are you going to do? What's any Muslim voted? Leave me maybe the most dumb Muslim in the world we know nothing but still what is
So then you ask him fine, you are very contented when you have the water if you get sucked in and you lose the job.
Then why are you worried?
You just told me a lie is bigger than G
and Allah subhanaw taala. I asked him I said tell me did g take responsibility