Ibrahim Nuhu – Tarbiyyah 2024 #01

Ibrahim Nuhu
AI: Summary © The importance of not losing faith and maintaining behavior until Islam is emphasized, along with the need for preparing the brain and avoiding rushing into marriage. The importance of history and strong marriage is crucial for a healthy family, and educating parents on healthy eating habits and respecting family privacy is emphasized. The speakers advise parents to be mindful of their children and avoid embarrassment, while acknowledging the danger of mistakes and misunderstandings and avoiding giving children what they need to see. The responsibility of step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal
AI: Transcript ©
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Brothers and sisters, as you know throughout the

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semester we organize Islamic events calling people towards

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the sunnah of Rasulullah

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Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.

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However, as volunteers, many times we don't benefit

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as much as audience.

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So that is exactly why thervia sessions like

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these are necessary.

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So that we could improve ourselves and call

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people towards the sunnah of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi

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Wasallam.

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Now before passing the mic to the Sheikh,

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I have few reminders for everyone, including myself.

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I advise everyone to purify their intentions. We

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are here truly to improve ourself and to

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learn from this talk.

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Secondly, as today is the day of Alpha,

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I advise everyone to fill up their time

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with Tasvee, Tahmir and Tahleel of Allah

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as these words are light on the tongue

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but heavy on the mizan.

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And lastly, I advise everyone to make a

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lot of Dua because Dua Ayum El Arafah,

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after the Duwah, you Dua Ayum El Arafah.

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The best of Dua is the Duwah Mir

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on the day of Arafah.

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Now I would pass the mic to our

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beloved Sheikh Ibrahim.

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So

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we gathered here to

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talk about this noble and important topic.

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Ask Allah

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to grant us ability to do the right

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thing

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in addressing the matter

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and also to say that,

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which pleases Allah

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first of all like

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the

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Sheikh just mentioned

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about

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the day of Arafa.

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We really need to be

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serious on this matter

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he mentioned because we have a long journey

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to Allah you

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don't know when

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are you going to depart back to Allah.

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And living in this contemporary time of ours.

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Where the dunya has changed a lot.

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That which is to be which used to

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be easy

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to be preserving.

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Today is quite difficult

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due to the social media and a lot

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of entertainment.

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It's not easy to maintain your righteousness and

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it's a calmer.

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And therefore, it is our opportunity

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yeah,

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because

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yeah because my dear brothers and sisters only

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Allah

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can help you and stand between you and

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this higher.

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If Allah

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let you live your life alone,

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you will fail.

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Definitely, you will fail. You need a lost

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on your side.

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And

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today, it's your opportunity to ask Allah

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for this.

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Repent to Allah

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You know yourself more than anybody

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else. Fix your attitude and your behavior.

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Open a new file between you and Allah

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Subhanahu wa ta'ala that you'll be

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living,

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with until the day you meet Allah.

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Allah

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says,

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to Adul.

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And you also believe in Allah and be

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maintained there is because

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faith and belief

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you know, is very simple. Everyone can accept,

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and everyone can claim things, but to maintain

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this up to the moment you meet Allah

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is not is not easy. Yeah. To maintain

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this until the time you meet Allah is

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not easy.

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So this is your opportunity, as I said,

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my dear brothers and sisters, to ask Allah

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to help you to keep this is to

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cover.

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Is to cover means

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you maintain your good behavior,

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you know, towards Allah

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until the time you you meet him. There

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is no circumstance or time that will force

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you to change.

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Yeah. So may Allah grant you good and

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ability to utilize,

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this

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uh-uh day

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and may Allah

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be with all of us and make us

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among the successful ones.

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So today inshallah,

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we'll be dealing with an important matter which

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is a matter of Telia.

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So it is going to be inshallah

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a continuation,

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you know, of what we did during the

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conference.

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So I'll refresh our mind on that which

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we, do

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and then add what to be added

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on top of what we

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what we did. If you remember last time,

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I began my talk

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about

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you know, with

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the reality of this life nowadays.

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The reality of Telbia

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in this time of ours. And I mentioned

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that the war against us

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is not the physical one that we see.

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I see it different. The war against us

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is not a physical war that we see.

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Yeah. Although that one is also,

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fierce

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and hard for us to handle.

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But the the real one is a war

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against us through our children.

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You know that I'm, telling you the truth

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that, nowadays, somebody else is taking care of

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our children,

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children. Not us.

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You know, the kind of mentality we have

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at home is different from what is supposed

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to exist in the house of a Muslim.

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So the existence of the social media and

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all of its forms

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and also negligence from the parent. Yeah. And

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also negligence from the parent.

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Somebody took over.

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So what happened

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is, in the future, if we're not careful,

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all of the people who remain, they're already

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brainwashed

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and trained by those people. So they don't

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need to make any effort to convince them

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to support their hidden agendas.

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You get idea because they are already on

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those agendas.

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That's the reason why I see it as

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the real battle between us and our enemy.

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Be you Allah. The real battle between us

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and our enemy is how to give terbia

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to our kids. Because trust me my dear

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brothers and sisters,

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if we manage to succeed in

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giving good terbir to the kids, you don't

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need to worry about the future.

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All the old ones most likely are going

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to be gone. The one who will took,

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take over the responsibility

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of leading

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the nation inshallah to success will be the

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younger one.

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So if they are okay, we have no

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fear that inshallah

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the Muhammad Muhammad

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will succeed in the future.

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So I just want you to have a

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you know a sense of, this that the

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war against the Muslim and Islam

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is done through our our children.

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You go to our Masajid, who do you

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find in the Masajid?

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The old people, usually.

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Yeah. And this is

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the situation almost wherever you go. You know,

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you go to the massaging, the old people.

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You go to the school, who cares about

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the Islamic Manus and Telvia?

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Almost nobody.

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From the management and the kids and the

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parents.

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You know?

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So they succeed.

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You know. They succeeded, you know, in this

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in this regard.

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But Alhamdulillah,

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change is always possible.

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As long as we are looking for it,

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it is always possible for us to to

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change.

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So how to succeed in this

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Telbia? To make a u-turn, to take over,

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you know, our responsibility,

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you know, to take it back from those

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who stole it from us and put it

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in in the wrong way. The first thing

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I mentioned, if you remember, is preparing a

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base.

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You know, this is really necessary.

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That's why

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it is important for you to

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look with the eyes of Terbia when you

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are choosing a spouse.

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Yeah, it is really important.

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You know, keep aside all of those, you

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know, physical, you know, appearance.

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Trust me, they will fizzle. They will go.

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Yeah. You'll come when you will become more

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matured,

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more responsible,

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you see things in their

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reality,

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then you will be, you will begin to,

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you know, think that

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most likely I did the wrong choice.

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You know, you're supposed to have this kind

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of eyes when you are choosing the spouse.

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Somebody who is supposed to be with you,

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cooperating and helping you to make a success

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in giving terabir to their children.

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When you're choosing a spouse, make sure that

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you put in your mind that this is

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supposed to be the mother of your children.

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This is supposed to be the father of

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your children.

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If you don't have this, trust me my

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dear brothers and sisters, you are going to

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fail.

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Because you will choose based on your own

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personal interest,

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which will not remain.

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You know, the more you age, trust me,

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the more you age. You are young, you

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might not realize it. But the more you

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age,

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the,

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you know, lesser your desire is.

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In these type of things, that's why when

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Jabeel married,

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and he married not even old woman but

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he married a a widow.

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Asked him,

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Jabeel, why are you so speedy? You're Russian.

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He said, Rasulah, I just recently married.

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So the prophet

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told him, oh, what did you marry? Who,

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whom do you marry?

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Jabin said,

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Absalah,

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I I human catalyst, Bill Medina. He said

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it was a widow who is living with

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us in Medina.

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The

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prophet look at him, very young person, marrying

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a widow.

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Is it halal?

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Yes, it's halal Islam

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he did.

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Yeah, he married

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Khadija

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who is way older than him.

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Yeah, and all of his wives are widows

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actually except Aisha

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and he married a younger person who is

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at the age of his grand

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granddaughter

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Aisha at the age of 6.

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Yeah, so it's halal.

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However, Islam

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has its own recommendations.

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It's Rasulullah.

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He advised people to marry those who did

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not marry

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you know

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yet

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not to discourage people from marrying the other

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ones but

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he says

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and he he mentioned some you know virtues

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that you can find in this one which

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might not be found. Not necessarily. You know,

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to miss them but might not be found.

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So when he see Jabir,

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you know,

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marrying a widow, he was surprised, he told

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him, Jabil, why? Why widow?

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He says, why didn't you marry

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a big, a virgin,

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woman,

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that you will be playing with her and

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she plays with you. Yeah, because the age

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is still young.

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This mentality of playing is still there. Okay,

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this is part of the the marital life.

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So the prophet

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told them, why don't you get somebody like

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this that will you be playing with? She

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plays with you. You laugh, she laughs. Not

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somebody who is always serious.

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Because she went through

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difficulties and experiences of life, so she might

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not be like this one. So the prophet

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told him why didn't you get

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this? You get it? He says

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so Jabin told the prophet

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he said,

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you Rasulullah, the reason why I

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made this choice,

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it was

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the fact that my father, before he died,

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he told me, Jabir,

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you know, I'm afraid that I will be

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among the first people to be killed during

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this sad battle.

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And please, if this happened,

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take care of your your siblings.

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So he has a younger uh-uh siblings.

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So the prophet I'm sorry Jabin, when the

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father told him this,

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he

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said this is the reason why I compromise

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my

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my right. I know it's better for me

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to go for this but to fulfill the

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of my father,

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I compromise this fight.

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So

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the prophet

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advised him to marry somebody. Somebody young at

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that age. So that he can benefit from

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the early you know part of his his

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marriage.

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And prophetess Allahu Soma did not advise him

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to take from the widow.

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So don't forget, I'm trying to emphasize

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to you that the more you age, the

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lesser

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desire

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in

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what marriage necessitate,

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you know,

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you have. So the prophet

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did not advise him to marry. We don't,

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he told him to go with that one.

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On another occasion, the prophet

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said,

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the first

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three people that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will

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not speak to.

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And he will not look at them,

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and Allah will not purify them,

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and they will be among the worst in

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the eyes of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

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He says Sheikh Hunzani,

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an old man that commits death.

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And

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a king that lies.

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Or Ailu Mustakbir

00:16:51 --> 00:16:53

and a poor and destitute person who is

00:16:53 --> 00:16:54

arrogant.

00:16:55 --> 00:16:57

You know he says Sheikh Hunzani,

00:16:57 --> 00:16:59

an old man that commits you now.

00:17:00 --> 00:17:01

Why is he included?

00:17:02 --> 00:17:04

Because at this age, the desire

00:17:04 --> 00:17:07

is is very low. But still he committed

00:17:07 --> 00:17:09

Zina, that's why Allah is treating him in

00:17:09 --> 00:17:10

this, in this way.

00:17:11 --> 00:17:12

Malekum Kedab,

00:17:12 --> 00:17:14

the king that lies.

00:17:14 --> 00:17:16

Why do we lie?

00:17:16 --> 00:17:17

Because we are afraid of?

00:17:18 --> 00:17:20

Because we are afraid of punishment.

00:17:20 --> 00:17:21

Right?

00:17:22 --> 00:17:24

But this person is the king in the

00:17:24 --> 00:17:25

country.

00:17:25 --> 00:17:26

He's afraid of who?

00:17:27 --> 00:17:29

You get it? So he got this worst

00:17:29 --> 00:17:30

type of punishment.

00:17:31 --> 00:17:34

When he meets Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. And

00:17:34 --> 00:17:34

the last one

00:17:36 --> 00:17:38

is usually arrogance comes comes from who?

00:17:39 --> 00:17:40

Rich person.

00:17:40 --> 00:17:43

But this person is poor and destitute. But

00:17:43 --> 00:17:44

at the same time he's arrogant.

00:17:45 --> 00:17:47

So the first part of this hadith you

00:17:47 --> 00:17:47

can see.

00:17:48 --> 00:17:49

The prophet said

00:17:49 --> 00:17:51

among those people that will be punished by

00:17:51 --> 00:17:54

Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. The first part of

00:17:54 --> 00:17:55

the day of judgement and Allah Subhanahu wa

00:17:55 --> 00:17:57

ta'ala will not even look at them.

00:17:57 --> 00:18:00

Is this man who is an old man

00:18:00 --> 00:18:02

but at the same time committing zina?

00:18:03 --> 00:18:04

So what I want you to take from

00:18:04 --> 00:18:07

these two stories is the fact that

00:18:07 --> 00:18:09

this desire that you're having nowadays,

00:18:09 --> 00:18:11

trust me, whether you like it or you

00:18:11 --> 00:18:13

like it, it's part of our life. It's

00:18:13 --> 00:18:16

very natural for it to reduce. From both

00:18:16 --> 00:18:17

side.

00:18:17 --> 00:18:19

So if the purpose of your marriage is

00:18:19 --> 00:18:21

this, it is going to go down. And

00:18:21 --> 00:18:24

now you're becoming more responsible. You have kids

00:18:24 --> 00:18:26

next to you. They need your attention. They

00:18:26 --> 00:18:28

need their mother's attention. This is the time

00:18:28 --> 00:18:29

you will be remembering,

00:18:30 --> 00:18:32

you know, that which I'm saying now.

00:18:33 --> 00:18:34

If you do not make the right choice,

00:18:35 --> 00:18:37

that you should be looking with these type

00:18:37 --> 00:18:40

of glasses before you choose whomsoever you are

00:18:40 --> 00:18:42

choosing. Yeah, this is going to be the

00:18:42 --> 00:18:44

mother, this is going to be the father

00:18:44 --> 00:18:46

of your your children.

00:18:46 --> 00:18:49

We have many cases where the divorce happened.

00:18:49 --> 00:18:51

The wife is afraid of,

00:18:52 --> 00:18:54

the, I mean, divorcing the husband because

00:18:54 --> 00:18:57

she believes if she do that, you know,

00:18:57 --> 00:18:59

the custody will go to the father and

00:18:59 --> 00:19:00

the father is corrupt.

00:19:01 --> 00:19:03

The father is bad. You know, Or sometimes,

00:19:04 --> 00:19:04

the father

00:19:05 --> 00:19:06

wanted to divorce

00:19:06 --> 00:19:09

because he believes that this marriage cannot be

00:19:09 --> 00:19:11

tolerated anymore. But he has a strong fear

00:19:11 --> 00:19:14

that if he divorced her, the custody will

00:19:14 --> 00:19:16

go to her and she and he knows

00:19:16 --> 00:19:16

who she is.

00:19:17 --> 00:19:19

All of these are supposed to be, you

00:19:19 --> 00:19:21

know, placed in mind. In the way when

00:19:21 --> 00:19:23

the divorce happened, you know, Allah

00:19:23 --> 00:19:24

even says,

00:19:25 --> 00:19:28

do not forget the virtue and the good

00:19:28 --> 00:19:30

life that used to exist amongst you in

00:19:30 --> 00:19:33

the in the past when the divorce happened.

00:19:33 --> 00:19:35

So you are supposed to divorce a person

00:19:35 --> 00:19:36

that you don't mind,

00:19:37 --> 00:19:40

you know, leaving your kids with her. And

00:19:40 --> 00:19:42

she doesn't mind leaving her kids with you

00:19:42 --> 00:19:43

because she knows who you are.

00:19:44 --> 00:19:46

But trust me, in many instances, this is

00:19:46 --> 00:19:47

not the case.

00:19:47 --> 00:19:50

The father, if he's righteous, he has a

00:19:50 --> 00:19:52

strong fear of his children getting

00:19:53 --> 00:19:53

lost

00:19:53 --> 00:19:55

because he's going to give them an

00:19:56 --> 00:19:58

the hand off. The mother because he knows

00:19:58 --> 00:20:00

who she is and the mother also on

00:20:00 --> 00:20:03

the other hand she is afraid of divorce

00:20:03 --> 00:20:05

and sometimes she has to you know force

00:20:05 --> 00:20:07

herself to to stay in that marriage. Although

00:20:07 --> 00:20:10

she believes that divorce is the best, you

00:20:10 --> 00:20:12

know, solution for her case. You know, because

00:20:12 --> 00:20:14

she has been traumatized and there is no

00:20:14 --> 00:20:16

good in living with this person. However,

00:20:16 --> 00:20:18

she's afraid of this

00:20:19 --> 00:20:22

divorce because of the kids. Because she knows

00:20:22 --> 00:20:23

that if she divorce him, he'll be the

00:20:23 --> 00:20:25

one who will take over the custody of

00:20:25 --> 00:20:27

the kids and they will get into trouble.

00:20:27 --> 00:20:29

So my dear brothers and sisters, please

00:20:30 --> 00:20:30

please

00:20:31 --> 00:20:33

put this on your mind. That you're going

00:20:33 --> 00:20:35

to choose somebody who is supposed to be

00:20:35 --> 00:20:37

the mother or the father of your of

00:20:37 --> 00:20:41

your children. And therefore this person has to

00:20:41 --> 00:20:42

be the best

00:20:42 --> 00:20:43

educator,

00:20:43 --> 00:20:44

the best person who

00:20:45 --> 00:20:45

you know

00:20:47 --> 00:20:49

knows what Telvia is all about and who,

00:20:49 --> 00:20:50

you know,

00:20:51 --> 00:20:54

favor, you know, and prefer, you know, staying

00:20:54 --> 00:20:56

and giving the priority to the children rather

00:20:56 --> 00:21:00

than their personal interest. That's why it is

00:21:00 --> 00:21:02

one of the advice of the scholars that

00:21:02 --> 00:21:05

when you marry a person, you should

00:21:05 --> 00:21:07

look into the readiness of that person to

00:21:08 --> 00:21:10

to marry and also to give therapy to

00:21:10 --> 00:21:13

the kids in in the future. If you

00:21:13 --> 00:21:15

marry somebody who is not ready, you will

00:21:15 --> 00:21:16

get into into trouble.

00:21:17 --> 00:21:20

So if that person is not ready to,

00:21:20 --> 00:21:23

you know, compromise their own personal interest for

00:21:23 --> 00:21:25

the sake of those whom a lost mortal

00:21:25 --> 00:21:27

will be giving you in in the future.

00:21:27 --> 00:21:30

Trust me, it is a a time for

00:21:30 --> 00:21:30

you

00:21:31 --> 00:21:33

to cancel this proposal and move forward and

00:21:33 --> 00:21:35

look for somebody else. Alhamdulillah.

00:21:36 --> 00:21:36

Alhamdulillah.

00:21:36 --> 00:21:39

Up to date, we still have the good

00:21:39 --> 00:21:39

ones.

00:21:40 --> 00:21:40

True?

00:21:41 --> 00:21:42

Do we have good sisters?

00:21:45 --> 00:21:47

Salam. Do we have good brothers? Yes.

00:21:49 --> 00:21:51

Nobody can convince me that because I have

00:21:51 --> 00:21:53

I have heard this. It's very,

00:21:54 --> 00:21:57

difficult or that is no good person or

00:21:57 --> 00:21:59

that's a lie. That is

00:21:59 --> 00:22:00

a lot.

00:22:00 --> 00:22:03

Yeah. So if this one is not ready,

00:22:03 --> 00:22:05

why do you stick to this person?

00:22:06 --> 00:22:08

If this person is very handsome, so pretty,

00:22:08 --> 00:22:10

trust me, you will see somebody who is

00:22:10 --> 00:22:11

better.

00:22:13 --> 00:22:15

You just need to seek the support from

00:22:15 --> 00:22:16

Allah and

00:22:17 --> 00:22:19

open your eyes and move forward.

00:22:19 --> 00:22:22

But don't you ever rush when it comes

00:22:22 --> 00:22:23

to marriage.

00:22:23 --> 00:22:25

K? I hope you guys, you know, are

00:22:25 --> 00:22:28

opening your ears to listen to this, properly.

00:22:29 --> 00:22:31

Don't you ever close your eyes. You know?

00:22:31 --> 00:22:34

Open your eyes and don't rush. Yeah. Don't

00:22:34 --> 00:22:35

rush.

00:22:35 --> 00:22:36

Check properly.

00:22:36 --> 00:22:39

Don't rush. No need to rush. Many of

00:22:39 --> 00:22:40

us are really rushing when it comes to

00:22:40 --> 00:22:43

marriages, especially those who are marrying for the

00:22:43 --> 00:22:45

first time. No.

00:22:45 --> 00:22:47

Your time has value. You know, your time

00:22:47 --> 00:22:50

has value. So open your eyes

00:22:50 --> 00:22:52

and don't rush and make sure that you

00:22:52 --> 00:22:54

choose the person that inshallah

00:22:55 --> 00:22:57

you will not you will not regret by

00:22:57 --> 00:22:58

choosing,

00:22:58 --> 00:23:01

that person. So these are the first thing

00:23:01 --> 00:23:03

to be done. You know, choosing a good

00:23:03 --> 00:23:03

partner,

00:23:04 --> 00:23:05

you know, that will cooperate with you in

00:23:05 --> 00:23:08

giving terbia to your kids. If this is

00:23:08 --> 00:23:10

not being done, trust me, you will not

00:23:10 --> 00:23:13

be able to make a a success in

00:23:13 --> 00:23:13

this regard.

00:23:14 --> 00:23:16

And that's the attitude

00:23:16 --> 00:23:18

and the behavior of the prophets of Allah

00:23:18 --> 00:23:21

subhanahu wa ta'ala and also

00:23:21 --> 00:23:24

the attitude and the behaviour of the righteous

00:23:24 --> 00:23:26

people after the prophets of Allah subhanahu wa

00:23:26 --> 00:23:27

ta'ala.

00:23:28 --> 00:23:30

Ibrahim alayhis salam, the one that I quoted

00:23:30 --> 00:23:33

his example last last time, look at the

00:23:33 --> 00:23:35

family of Ibrahim alayhis salam, subhanAllah

00:23:36 --> 00:23:38

You are a very, very, very excellent and

00:23:38 --> 00:23:41

dedicated family. You can understand why

00:23:42 --> 00:23:44

Ismael, Is Haq, and those great great great

00:23:44 --> 00:23:48

great prophets of Allah like that. Because they

00:23:48 --> 00:23:49

live in the house

00:23:49 --> 00:23:52

that has been prepared by by the father.

00:23:52 --> 00:23:55

This man, his life is all about Tawhid.

00:23:55 --> 00:23:56

Tawhid. Tawhid.

00:23:56 --> 00:24:00

He understand what Tawhid means. He understand the

00:24:00 --> 00:24:01

benefit of Tawhid.

00:24:01 --> 00:24:04

He believes that Tahit is the only way

00:24:04 --> 00:24:06

to to success.

00:24:06 --> 00:24:08

There is no way for humankind to succeed

00:24:08 --> 00:24:09

except

00:24:10 --> 00:24:11

and through Tahit.

00:24:11 --> 00:24:12

That's why Allah

00:24:13 --> 00:24:14

mentioned him so many

00:24:14 --> 00:24:17

times when Allah talks about Tahit and Akida,

00:24:17 --> 00:24:18

Ibrahim will be mentioned.

00:24:19 --> 00:24:21

He shows no compromise on this. So the

00:24:21 --> 00:24:23

house is based on this. And he chose

00:24:23 --> 00:24:26

the good people also to cooperate with him

00:24:26 --> 00:24:26

in this regard.

00:24:27 --> 00:24:29

His wife Sarah,

00:24:29 --> 00:24:30

subhanAllah,

00:24:30 --> 00:24:32

he took her to a place and she

00:24:32 --> 00:24:34

agreed to go with him. Ibrahim technically lived

00:24:34 --> 00:24:36

alone. You know that?

00:24:36 --> 00:24:37

Ibrahim was living alone,

00:24:38 --> 00:24:40

except a few with the family who are

00:24:40 --> 00:24:41

not good.

00:24:42 --> 00:24:43

You know, last year is for Amal Elahulot.

00:24:43 --> 00:24:46

His father is a Kafir, grandfather Kafir, you

00:24:46 --> 00:24:47

know. The whole city,

00:24:48 --> 00:24:48

you know, Okufar.

00:24:50 --> 00:24:50

You know?

00:24:51 --> 00:24:53

And he had to leave that place,

00:24:54 --> 00:24:57

You know, go to another place. So he

00:24:57 --> 00:24:59

reached a city also where there was no

00:24:59 --> 00:25:01

Muslim. He told his wife, he said he

00:25:01 --> 00:25:03

should know that there is no Muslim in

00:25:03 --> 00:25:05

this place except me and you. And so,

00:25:05 --> 00:25:07

Allah, if if if let's say there was

00:25:07 --> 00:25:08

no Muslim,

00:25:08 --> 00:25:11

but the community is a bit accepting, you

00:25:11 --> 00:25:12

know, somebody else,

00:25:13 --> 00:25:13

somebody else's,

00:25:14 --> 00:25:16

values. You know? You can,

00:25:17 --> 00:25:17

you know,

00:25:18 --> 00:25:19

tolerate living in that community,

00:25:20 --> 00:25:21

but they're not.

00:25:22 --> 00:25:24

You have to be forced to live according

00:25:24 --> 00:25:26

to their terms. That's why when he lived

00:25:26 --> 00:25:28

the place, he had information about who the

00:25:28 --> 00:25:30

king of this place was. So he told

00:25:30 --> 00:25:32

his wife, we really need to be very

00:25:32 --> 00:25:34

careful because there is no Muslim in this

00:25:34 --> 00:25:36

place except me and you.

00:25:37 --> 00:25:39

SubhanAllah. And that king was

00:25:40 --> 00:25:42

wicked, you know. So he sent to Ibrahim

00:25:42 --> 00:25:44

looking for his his wife,

00:25:44 --> 00:25:45

Subhanallah.

00:25:46 --> 00:25:47

So Ibrahim,

00:25:47 --> 00:25:48

did send.

00:25:49 --> 00:25:51

You can see his, wife is Morabia,

00:25:51 --> 00:25:53

somebody who believes in Allah's mother. She knows

00:25:53 --> 00:25:56

that only Allah's mother can protect her. She

00:25:56 --> 00:25:59

did not ask anybody else's support except Allah's

00:25:59 --> 00:25:59

support,

00:26:00 --> 00:26:01

and Allah supported her.

00:26:02 --> 00:26:05

That man couldn't be able to touch

00:26:06 --> 00:26:06

her. Why?

00:26:07 --> 00:26:09

Because of Akida. Allah, high minded presence, it

00:26:09 --> 00:26:11

was because of Akida.

00:26:11 --> 00:26:13

Because she went back to Allah's mouth immediately

00:26:13 --> 00:26:14

and said, you Allah,

00:26:15 --> 00:26:16

never committed zina in my life.

00:26:18 --> 00:26:21

Never destroy my honor. You know? Never use,

00:26:21 --> 00:26:23

this part of my body except with my

00:26:23 --> 00:26:26

husband. You Allah, do not give chance to

00:26:26 --> 00:26:28

this person. And that was enough.

00:26:28 --> 00:26:31

Allah protected him. A man was not able

00:26:31 --> 00:26:31

to touch.

00:26:32 --> 00:26:33

He tried, tried, tried. At the end of

00:26:33 --> 00:26:35

the day, he concluded that this is Shaitan.

00:26:36 --> 00:26:38

So he took her back to Ibrahim Alaihi

00:26:38 --> 00:26:40

Salam and he gave her a gift of

00:26:40 --> 00:26:41

Hajar.

00:26:42 --> 00:26:44

That's the beginning of the history of Rasulullah

00:26:44 --> 00:26:46

Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Salam will come into this

00:26:46 --> 00:26:47

life.

00:26:48 --> 00:26:49

And Subhan Allah, Ibrahim

00:26:49 --> 00:26:52

trained Hajar because Hajar was given to Ibrahim

00:26:52 --> 00:26:54

Alai Salam by his wife. Looking at the

00:26:54 --> 00:26:56

fact that they lived without having a child,

00:26:56 --> 00:26:59

you take this one. Maybe Allah's going to

00:26:59 --> 00:27:00

grant you a child.

00:27:01 --> 00:27:03

But then, you know, human nature.

00:27:04 --> 00:27:05

Hajar got a child.

00:27:06 --> 00:27:07

She couldn't,

00:27:08 --> 00:27:09

stand that.

00:27:10 --> 00:27:12

Not because of hazard, but jealousy is so

00:27:12 --> 00:27:14

strong. So Hajar has to be running away

00:27:14 --> 00:27:15

from her. Allah

00:27:16 --> 00:27:19

commanded Ibrahim alayhis salam to take Hajar to

00:27:19 --> 00:27:19

another place.

00:27:20 --> 00:27:22

The fact that Hajar will accept also

00:27:23 --> 00:27:24

to go to that place where there is

00:27:24 --> 00:27:25

nobody

00:27:26 --> 00:27:28

is enough to tell you that, yes, Ibrahim

00:27:28 --> 00:27:30

invested a lot in his family.

00:27:31 --> 00:27:33

You allah. How can you convince her to

00:27:33 --> 00:27:34

go and stay in the forest alone? Just

00:27:34 --> 00:27:36

tell her stay and then she stayed.

00:27:37 --> 00:27:38

You allah, she did

00:27:39 --> 00:27:41

stay in that place alone. She knows that

00:27:41 --> 00:27:43

Ibrahim is going to go. And he left

00:27:43 --> 00:27:45

her, and she accepted that.

00:27:45 --> 00:27:46

You know?

00:27:46 --> 00:27:49

So important and so interesting when she told

00:27:49 --> 00:27:51

him, where are you going? You're leaving us

00:27:51 --> 00:27:52

in this place.

00:27:52 --> 00:27:54

To whom? He says to Allah

00:27:54 --> 00:27:56

is Allah the one who asked you to

00:27:56 --> 00:27:58

do that? He said yes.

00:27:58 --> 00:27:59

She said,

00:28:00 --> 00:28:02

She said, okay. Then if this is the

00:28:02 --> 00:28:03

case, then I believe that Allah

00:28:04 --> 00:28:05

will never neglect us.

00:28:06 --> 00:28:09

So what does that tell you? It tells

00:28:09 --> 00:28:11

you that Ibrahim invested a lot in preparing

00:28:12 --> 00:28:15

a base for the terbiyah of his children.

00:28:16 --> 00:28:17

This type of woman, why would you worry,

00:28:17 --> 00:28:20

you know, to, to travel and leave your

00:28:20 --> 00:28:22

kids next to her? You will love. Why

00:28:22 --> 00:28:22

would you worry?

00:28:23 --> 00:28:24

You will never worry.

00:28:24 --> 00:28:26

You would never worry if you are to

00:28:26 --> 00:28:27

die now. You don't worry.

00:28:30 --> 00:28:31

And I don't talk about the father because

00:28:31 --> 00:28:33

you know who is the father. Right? Why

00:28:33 --> 00:28:35

would the wife worry if Ibrahim is is

00:28:35 --> 00:28:38

the father or somebody who is imitating Ibrahim

00:28:38 --> 00:28:39

is the father of her children?

00:28:41 --> 00:28:43

So he invested a lot. It's a very

00:28:43 --> 00:28:45

long and interesting story that I advise

00:28:45 --> 00:28:47

each one of you to go to Sahil

00:28:47 --> 00:28:47

Bukhari

00:28:48 --> 00:28:49

and read this,

00:28:50 --> 00:28:52

long version of the narration of the story

00:28:52 --> 00:28:52

of Ibrahim

00:28:53 --> 00:28:56

and Umu Ishmael. So they live in that

00:28:56 --> 00:28:57

place, and she was the one who was

00:28:57 --> 00:29:00

taking care of his kid upon the Arcada

00:29:00 --> 00:29:03

and Good Tarabia and she produced that person

00:29:03 --> 00:29:05

who happened to be the prophet of Allah

00:29:05 --> 00:29:06

Subhanahu wa ta'ala. When Ibrahim

00:29:07 --> 00:29:09

visited them one day and he asked his

00:29:09 --> 00:29:11

wife, the wife of Ismael,

00:29:12 --> 00:29:14

that's after the death of the mother Omu,

00:29:14 --> 00:29:17

Ismael Haja. So when Ibrahim visited the place,

00:29:17 --> 00:29:19

he asked her about

00:29:19 --> 00:29:21

their their life.

00:29:22 --> 00:29:22

She complained.

00:29:23 --> 00:29:26

So when she complained to Ibrahim that they

00:29:26 --> 00:29:27

are facing difficulty and hardship,

00:29:28 --> 00:29:29

Ibrahim alaihis salam

00:29:30 --> 00:29:32

realized that this is not good

00:29:33 --> 00:29:34

for his son,

00:29:34 --> 00:29:35

you know, subhanallah.

00:29:36 --> 00:29:39

What matters with those people is tabia,

00:29:40 --> 00:29:41

relationship with Allah.

00:29:42 --> 00:29:42

Patience,

00:29:44 --> 00:29:46

saber, somebody that can, you know, do the

00:29:46 --> 00:29:47

job in

00:29:48 --> 00:29:49

taking care of kids.

00:29:49 --> 00:29:52

Because imagine somebody who is like this, not

00:29:52 --> 00:29:54

appreciating what a last motto is doing. Not

00:29:54 --> 00:29:56

seeing that a lot has a favor upon

00:29:56 --> 00:29:59

them, not being patient. What kind of children

00:29:59 --> 00:30:01

are they going to be, producing in in

00:30:01 --> 00:30:01

the future?

00:30:02 --> 00:30:03

Do you get what I'm saying? Right? I

00:30:03 --> 00:30:04

don't want you to I want you to

00:30:04 --> 00:30:05

understand

00:30:05 --> 00:30:06

why Ibrahim

00:30:06 --> 00:30:09

told his son, Ismail, to divorce this woman.

00:30:10 --> 00:30:12

Yeah. Because she doesn't fit to take care

00:30:12 --> 00:30:14

of of his kid,

00:30:14 --> 00:30:17

you allah. She is not qualified to be

00:30:17 --> 00:30:18

the wife of Ibrahim alaihi sallam who will

00:30:18 --> 00:30:20

be giving terbiyah to

00:30:20 --> 00:30:21

the next generation.

00:30:21 --> 00:30:23

Yeah? Because Allah promised

00:30:23 --> 00:30:26

him also that he's gonna bring out of

00:30:26 --> 00:30:27

his descendants

00:30:27 --> 00:30:29

somebody who will who will take over.

00:30:30 --> 00:30:31

So

00:30:31 --> 00:30:33

Ibrahim asked him to divorce her and to

00:30:33 --> 00:30:37

get another one. Ibrahim Ismail divorced her immediately.

00:30:37 --> 00:30:40

Yeah. He divorced her immediately, and,

00:30:41 --> 00:30:43

he managed another one. That one was totally

00:30:43 --> 00:30:45

different from the first one.

00:30:45 --> 00:30:47

Then Ibrahim, when he came, he asked him

00:30:47 --> 00:30:49

to keep this one because this one is

00:30:49 --> 00:30:50

the one that fit him.

00:30:50 --> 00:30:52

Yeah, the one that fit him, understand how

00:30:52 --> 00:30:55

much Allah is doing for them because Ibrahim

00:30:55 --> 00:30:57

left them with no food,

00:30:57 --> 00:31:00

Hajar and Hassan Ismael, they were living on

00:31:00 --> 00:31:04

what? Zamza water and Tamru. The Tamru finish,

00:31:04 --> 00:31:06

they just live with Zamza and that's it.

00:31:07 --> 00:31:10

And this woman, she's getting even meat, she's

00:31:10 --> 00:31:10

getting

00:31:11 --> 00:31:13

what do you call? Uh-uh,

00:31:13 --> 00:31:16

damsel, you know. What else she's getting but

00:31:16 --> 00:31:18

still she's not thankful to Allah

00:31:19 --> 00:31:22

That means dunya is in her brain. So

00:31:22 --> 00:31:25

she doesn't fit to live with

00:31:25 --> 00:31:28

a prophet of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:31:28 --> 00:31:30

So as I said this is also the

00:31:30 --> 00:31:32

behaviour of the righteous princesses.

00:31:33 --> 00:31:35

All of his wives and his families are

00:31:35 --> 00:31:36

upon this nature.

00:31:36 --> 00:31:39

And the companions of the prophet are

00:31:39 --> 00:31:42

also are are like that. And the Tavion,

00:31:42 --> 00:31:44

all of those righteous people, trust me my

00:31:44 --> 00:31:46

dear brothers and sisters, they were like that.

00:31:46 --> 00:31:47

They prepared a base,

00:31:48 --> 00:31:50

you know, in the best way so that

00:31:50 --> 00:31:51

they don't need to worry about who is

00:31:51 --> 00:31:54

giving terbia to their to their kids.

00:31:54 --> 00:31:56

They don't need to worry about who is

00:31:56 --> 00:31:57

giving terbia to their kids.

00:31:58 --> 00:31:58

Umu Musulayim,

00:31:59 --> 00:32:00

the mother of Anas ibn Malik.

00:32:01 --> 00:32:02

You

00:32:02 --> 00:32:03

know her story. Right?

00:32:04 --> 00:32:04

Her husband

00:32:05 --> 00:32:06

died.

00:32:06 --> 00:32:08

He refused to accept Islam when the prophetess

00:32:08 --> 00:32:10

of Allah came, unfortunately.

00:32:10 --> 00:32:13

But she refused to follow him, Pisham.

00:32:13 --> 00:32:15

He accepts to be,

00:32:15 --> 00:32:17

on the other side.

00:32:17 --> 00:32:19

So she refused to follow him.

00:32:19 --> 00:32:22

She maintained her religion. So you can understand

00:32:22 --> 00:32:24

what kind of, you know, person you are

00:32:24 --> 00:32:25

dealing with. Abutalha

00:32:26 --> 00:32:28

proposed to marry her. And she looked into

00:32:28 --> 00:32:31

the behavior as far as behaviors and manners

00:32:31 --> 00:32:33

are concerned, this person qualifies to be her

00:32:33 --> 00:32:34

partner.

00:32:35 --> 00:32:36

However,

00:32:36 --> 00:32:39

the main obstacle he has is the fact

00:32:39 --> 00:32:41

that he is not a Muslim.

00:32:42 --> 00:32:44

So she told him, a person like you

00:32:44 --> 00:32:46

cannot be rejected. You're upon the best of

00:32:46 --> 00:32:46

manners.

00:32:47 --> 00:32:49

However, you are not a Muslim and I

00:32:50 --> 00:32:52

I, as a Muslim, I cannot marry a

00:32:52 --> 00:32:54

non Muslim. Because in Islam,

00:32:54 --> 00:32:56

a sister cannot marry a non Muslim.

00:32:58 --> 00:32:59

A brother in a very restricted,

00:32:59 --> 00:33:00

way Allah

00:33:01 --> 00:33:02

legalizes for whom to marry from

00:33:03 --> 00:33:05

the Jews and the Christian only if they

00:33:05 --> 00:33:07

are decent in terms of manners

00:33:07 --> 00:33:09

and attitude, meaning not the one that is

00:33:09 --> 00:33:11

hanging around with the brothers

00:33:11 --> 00:33:14

and, also committing zenah or prostitution.

00:33:15 --> 00:33:17

A brother can go for this. If he

00:33:17 --> 00:33:20

wants to go for this, which many scholars

00:33:20 --> 00:33:21

looking at the circumstances

00:33:22 --> 00:33:24

nowadays and the situation nowadays, they say it

00:33:24 --> 00:33:25

is harmful for you to call this. Not

00:33:25 --> 00:33:28

in the sense of contradicting what Allah says

00:33:28 --> 00:33:30

no. They are just looking at

00:33:30 --> 00:33:33

what is going on when a person marry

00:33:33 --> 00:33:33

a non Muslim.

00:33:34 --> 00:33:36

We have so many people who are married

00:33:36 --> 00:33:37

from the non,

00:33:37 --> 00:33:39

believers, the Jews or the Christians, and they

00:33:39 --> 00:33:40

lost their children.

00:33:42 --> 00:33:44

You're like, it's not easy, you know. Now

00:33:44 --> 00:33:46

a person can say, oh, no problem. Insha'Allah,

00:33:46 --> 00:33:48

Allah can protect them. But in the future,

00:33:48 --> 00:33:49

you will never forgive yourself.

00:33:50 --> 00:33:53

You see your children, you are saying Allahuwahhid,

00:33:53 --> 00:33:54

they are saying Allahuwahhid, they

00:33:55 --> 00:33:58

are saying Allahuwahhid, they are saying Rasayu Abilullah.

00:33:59 --> 00:34:02

Or they're worshipping idols in your house. You

00:34:02 --> 00:34:04

see them going to churches, synagogues, or somewhere

00:34:04 --> 00:34:06

else and you can't do nothing. Because sometimes

00:34:06 --> 00:34:07

the

00:34:07 --> 00:34:11

the the community is protecting her right. This

00:34:11 --> 00:34:13

is Christian country, for instance. You can't do

00:34:13 --> 00:34:13

anything.

00:34:14 --> 00:34:17

So many scholars look at these consequences

00:34:17 --> 00:34:19

and what is going on. They ban this

00:34:19 --> 00:34:20

type of marriages.

00:34:20 --> 00:34:23

And also, it's my personal sin, it's how

00:34:23 --> 00:34:25

I see it, it's an insult to our

00:34:25 --> 00:34:26

sisters.

00:34:28 --> 00:34:31

There is no Muslim sister that qualifies your

00:34:31 --> 00:34:32

your requirement,

00:34:33 --> 00:34:35

and you go and get from other than

00:34:35 --> 00:34:36

the Muslims.

00:34:36 --> 00:34:38

And also what kind of love you have

00:34:38 --> 00:34:39

to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

00:34:40 --> 00:34:42

What kind of love you have to Allah

00:34:42 --> 00:34:43

If in your house, you are there saying

00:34:43 --> 00:34:46

Allahuwahhid and she's worshiping idols in front of

00:34:46 --> 00:34:48

your eyes, in your territory. The house that

00:34:48 --> 00:34:50

you bought or you rent, you're paying for

00:34:50 --> 00:34:52

this shimp to take place in your territory,

00:34:54 --> 00:34:55

and you can't do nothing.

00:34:56 --> 00:34:57

Therefore,

00:34:57 --> 00:34:59

we have to think wisely. So,

00:34:59 --> 00:35:01

she told him you are not a Muslim.

00:35:02 --> 00:35:04

You know, you are upon a good manner

00:35:04 --> 00:35:06

and it's not good for a person to

00:35:06 --> 00:35:08

reject somebody like you. However,

00:35:08 --> 00:35:09

I have restriction,

00:35:10 --> 00:35:12

you know, being labeled on me by the

00:35:12 --> 00:35:14

religion I adopted.

00:35:14 --> 00:35:17

Embrace this religion, and I'm very serious and

00:35:17 --> 00:35:19

dedicated in my religion. The religion says this,

00:35:19 --> 00:35:20

I'm going to follow.

00:35:21 --> 00:35:23

You know, this woman, she's teaching who? She's

00:35:23 --> 00:35:24

teaching us.

00:35:26 --> 00:35:28

We do have people in this life who

00:35:28 --> 00:35:29

are Muslims

00:35:29 --> 00:35:30

by names.

00:35:32 --> 00:35:34

You can see a sister marrying a coffin.

00:35:35 --> 00:35:36

Yeah. If you don't know,

00:35:37 --> 00:35:38

I'll let you know now. We have.

00:35:39 --> 00:35:42

And that shows that the level of, you

00:35:42 --> 00:35:44

know, her, you know, acceptance of the religion

00:35:44 --> 00:35:46

of Allah is very weak.

00:35:46 --> 00:35:49

That marriage is dinner marriage. She's committing dinner.

00:35:50 --> 00:35:52

But many of them living in the western

00:35:52 --> 00:35:53

community,

00:35:53 --> 00:35:55

they think that is fine to merge with

00:35:55 --> 00:35:57

those cultural practices.

00:35:58 --> 00:36:00

No. A Muslim is not supposed to lose

00:36:00 --> 00:36:02

his identity because he wants to save his

00:36:02 --> 00:36:03

stay

00:36:03 --> 00:36:05

in the non Muslim countries.

00:36:05 --> 00:36:08

That's why the moment you start compromising any

00:36:08 --> 00:36:09

of your identity,

00:36:10 --> 00:36:11

it is wajib upon you to make

00:36:12 --> 00:36:12

hijrah.

00:36:13 --> 00:36:14

You have to.

00:36:14 --> 00:36:16

Hijrah is wajib upon that person. The moment

00:36:16 --> 00:36:18

you start compromising, you have to make hijrah.

00:36:19 --> 00:36:21

So those sisters who couldn't find a Muslim

00:36:22 --> 00:36:24

brother to marry them, they must make Hijra

00:36:24 --> 00:36:25

too,

00:36:25 --> 00:36:26

to the Muslim

00:36:27 --> 00:36:27

countries.

00:36:28 --> 00:36:30

Those who cannot wear the hijab, they have

00:36:30 --> 00:36:32

to make hijra to the Muslim countries to

00:36:32 --> 00:36:35

preserve their religion. Wallahi, they have no excuse.

00:36:35 --> 00:36:38

No excuse unless if that Hijrah cannot be,

00:36:38 --> 00:36:39

you know, afforded,

00:36:40 --> 00:36:41

then this is something else.

00:36:42 --> 00:36:43

Yeah. We look into their case as a

00:36:43 --> 00:36:46

darura, that's why they are stay staying here.

00:36:46 --> 00:36:48

But for the marriage, there is always a

00:36:48 --> 00:36:51

way out. If she married a calf here,

00:36:51 --> 00:36:53

she's committing, committing zenal. So back to a

00:36:53 --> 00:36:53

Muslim.

00:36:54 --> 00:36:56

Umusolem is teaching us dedication, right? When you

00:36:56 --> 00:36:57

hold upon Allah,

00:36:58 --> 00:37:00

keep it. Don't compromise any part of your

00:37:00 --> 00:37:03

religion because of your personal interest.

00:37:03 --> 00:37:05

Yeah. There's a message to people nowadays because

00:37:06 --> 00:37:08

many instances, trust me my dear brothers and

00:37:08 --> 00:37:11

sisters, we favor our personal interests

00:37:12 --> 00:37:13

Rather than going with that which I lost

00:37:13 --> 00:37:14

my daughter once.

00:37:14 --> 00:37:16

And we take sugar, a lot of sugar

00:37:16 --> 00:37:18

in your in our life. Rather than being

00:37:18 --> 00:37:20

on the safe side, no, we take a

00:37:20 --> 00:37:22

lot of sugar. As long as there is

00:37:22 --> 00:37:24

somebody who said this, it's okay. Yeah. This

00:37:24 --> 00:37:26

is your opinion. This is how you see

00:37:26 --> 00:37:28

it. You know? This is, what they say.

00:37:28 --> 00:37:30

But there is another opinion. Subhan Allah.

00:37:31 --> 00:37:33

A Muslim is known to be somebody who

00:37:33 --> 00:37:36

is always asking for the safest way. Don't

00:37:36 --> 00:37:38

forget my dear brothers and sisters, you are

00:37:38 --> 00:37:39

dealing with who? Not Ibrahim,

00:37:40 --> 00:37:43

not Hazek, not Hassan, not Kareem, not Bashir,

00:37:43 --> 00:37:44

you are dealing with Rambul Al Amin. You're

00:37:44 --> 00:37:45

dealing with Rambul Al Amin.

00:37:47 --> 00:37:49

Shouldn't play a game with your relationship with

00:37:49 --> 00:37:51

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, ew Allah. It's a

00:37:51 --> 00:37:53

very serious matter. Be on the safe side.

00:37:54 --> 00:37:56

When you have controversy among the scholars, check

00:37:56 --> 00:37:58

and see which one is the safer opinion.

00:37:59 --> 00:38:00

Go with that.

00:38:00 --> 00:38:02

Go with that. The prophet said,

00:38:06 --> 00:38:07

when it comes to

00:38:08 --> 00:38:10

the said stay away from the Shuba. Nowadays

00:38:10 --> 00:38:12

we are looking for the for the we

00:38:12 --> 00:38:13

are looking for

00:38:13 --> 00:38:14

Shubhat. Rasulullah

00:38:14 --> 00:38:16

said he want to protect your religion and

00:38:16 --> 00:38:18

your honor and dignity, stay away from the

00:38:18 --> 00:38:19

Shubaha

00:38:19 --> 00:38:20

and doubtful

00:38:20 --> 00:38:23

matters. So Olmusulaim told him,

00:38:23 --> 00:38:24

you cannot be,

00:38:25 --> 00:38:27

a person like you cannot be rejected. However,

00:38:28 --> 00:38:28

I promise,

00:38:30 --> 00:38:32

I'm sorry. She said, however, I'm a Muslim.

00:38:32 --> 00:38:34

I cannot marry a a Kafir.

00:38:35 --> 00:38:38

So he asked her because he's he's really

00:38:38 --> 00:38:40

interested in the marriage. He asked her, so

00:38:40 --> 00:38:43

what to do? She said, go and accept

00:38:43 --> 00:38:45

Islam. It's as simple as this. And I

00:38:45 --> 00:38:46

don't want Mahal.

00:38:48 --> 00:38:50

You get it? Nowadays, Mahal is number 1.

00:38:50 --> 00:38:53

Yes, it it has to be, you know,

00:38:53 --> 00:38:54

an important, you know,

00:38:55 --> 00:38:56

part of our managers,

00:38:56 --> 00:38:59

but it shouldn't have, you know, the importance

00:38:59 --> 00:39:00

of the religion in Manis.

00:39:01 --> 00:39:02

Yeah. We focus too much on the Maharaj

00:39:02 --> 00:39:04

and how much is he going to pay

00:39:04 --> 00:39:07

rather than focusing on his behavior and attitude.

00:39:07 --> 00:39:08

And tomorrow,

00:39:08 --> 00:39:09

who is going to suffer?

00:39:10 --> 00:39:11

The

00:39:11 --> 00:39:13

the wife side. So she told him, I

00:39:13 --> 00:39:15

don't need anything from you. Just go and

00:39:15 --> 00:39:18

accept Islam from Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Salam.

00:39:18 --> 00:39:20

Your Islam is my Mahar.

00:39:21 --> 00:39:21

Hence,

00:39:22 --> 00:39:23

and that's what

00:39:23 --> 00:39:26

what happened. So they were blessed by a

00:39:26 --> 00:39:26

child.

00:39:27 --> 00:39:29

And Abu Talha loved this child. And Abu

00:39:29 --> 00:39:32

Talha went to the prophet and accepted Islam.

00:39:32 --> 00:39:33

And the companions were so happy to hear

00:39:33 --> 00:39:36

that Mahar is Islam is the Mahar. They

00:39:36 --> 00:39:38

used to see this Mahar as the best

00:39:38 --> 00:39:39

Mahar in Islam.

00:39:40 --> 00:39:42

What was the Mahar? Islam.

00:39:42 --> 00:39:44

You know? So they married.

00:39:45 --> 00:39:46

They had a child, Alhamdulillah.

00:39:48 --> 00:39:50

This child became sick,

00:39:50 --> 00:39:53

and Abu Talha really loved this baby so

00:39:53 --> 00:39:55

much. So the wife realized that

00:39:56 --> 00:39:57

it's really too much for this person to

00:39:57 --> 00:39:58

hear the news of,

00:39:59 --> 00:39:59

his,

00:40:00 --> 00:40:00

child

00:40:01 --> 00:40:01

dying.

00:40:02 --> 00:40:04

The news of the demise of his child.

00:40:04 --> 00:40:06

It will not be easy for him. Subhanallah.

00:40:06 --> 00:40:08

I want you to understand what kind of

00:40:08 --> 00:40:10

wife is was he living with? Smart person.

00:40:10 --> 00:40:12

Religious and very smart person.

00:40:13 --> 00:40:15

The child died while Abu Talha was not

00:40:15 --> 00:40:16

around.

00:40:17 --> 00:40:18

So now what to do? How to inform

00:40:18 --> 00:40:19

your mother is an issue?

00:40:20 --> 00:40:23

So she prepared the child. She washed him.

00:40:23 --> 00:40:24

She put him in a place. She let

00:40:24 --> 00:40:26

the child rest in that place.

00:40:27 --> 00:40:30

That's a dead person. When the husband came,

00:40:30 --> 00:40:32

she brought him his food. He was so

00:40:32 --> 00:40:34

happy. He asked, how about my son?

00:40:34 --> 00:40:37

She said, he never got rest like like

00:40:37 --> 00:40:38

today.

00:40:40 --> 00:40:41

So he was so happy, you know, that

00:40:41 --> 00:40:42

his child

00:40:43 --> 00:40:45

start gaining back his his health.

00:40:46 --> 00:40:47

This is what he thought.

00:40:49 --> 00:40:50

So she gave him the food. He enjoyed

00:40:50 --> 00:40:53

his food, and then she put some perfume

00:40:53 --> 00:40:54

that attract his desire,

00:40:55 --> 00:40:57

and then he went and had relationship with

00:40:57 --> 00:40:57

her.

00:40:59 --> 00:41:00

After he finished everything,

00:41:01 --> 00:41:02

she told him, my dear husband, I have

00:41:02 --> 00:41:03

a question for you.

00:41:04 --> 00:41:04

SubhanAllah.

00:41:05 --> 00:41:06

He said, what is the question?

00:41:07 --> 00:41:08

She said,

00:41:09 --> 00:41:12

what if a people borrow something from another

00:41:12 --> 00:41:12

people?

00:41:13 --> 00:41:15

When the owner of this property decided to

00:41:15 --> 00:41:16

take it back,

00:41:17 --> 00:41:19

is it okay for the people who borrowed

00:41:19 --> 00:41:22

the item to be annoyed because the owner

00:41:22 --> 00:41:22

asked,

00:41:23 --> 00:41:25

for his thing to be given back to

00:41:25 --> 00:41:25

him?

00:41:26 --> 00:41:28

The man said, no. Why would they why

00:41:28 --> 00:41:29

would they be angry?

00:41:30 --> 00:41:31

She said,

00:41:32 --> 00:41:34

and please, I'm very sorry to announce

00:41:35 --> 00:41:36

the return,

00:41:37 --> 00:41:39

you know, of your child back to Allah

00:41:39 --> 00:41:40

Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

00:41:40 --> 00:41:42

Now he understands what was she trying to

00:41:42 --> 00:41:44

say, you know. Because he thought this is

00:41:44 --> 00:41:47

a real case, you know, that happened. Somebody

00:41:47 --> 00:41:49

borrowed something and the owner says I want

00:41:49 --> 00:41:50

my thing back and then the one who

00:41:50 --> 00:41:51

borrowed it doesn't want to take it back.

00:41:51 --> 00:41:54

But she's not referring to that. SubhanAllah. You

00:41:54 --> 00:41:56

can see even the smartness, even how to

00:41:56 --> 00:41:57

deduct this, to put it in this way

00:41:57 --> 00:41:59

for him. Because he cannot argue.

00:42:00 --> 00:42:02

He knows that the child is just a

00:42:02 --> 00:42:05

manna with him from Allah to take care

00:42:05 --> 00:42:07

of it. Allah has the right to take

00:42:07 --> 00:42:09

back the manna at any moment he wants.

00:42:10 --> 00:42:12

So he was annoyed with her.

00:42:13 --> 00:42:14

Why?

00:42:14 --> 00:42:16

Because of the demise of the child, he

00:42:16 --> 00:42:18

accepted the kadar because she did the nice

00:42:18 --> 00:42:21

job in in conveying the message to him.

00:42:21 --> 00:42:24

He wasn't annoyed by the child dying,

00:42:24 --> 00:42:26

but he was annoyed with her.

00:42:27 --> 00:42:30

Why did she, you know, let him had

00:42:30 --> 00:42:33

relationship with, have relationship with her after knowing

00:42:33 --> 00:42:35

that his child passed away?

00:42:43 --> 00:42:45

This is what this woman did with me.

00:42:45 --> 00:42:47

The prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam smiled. He found

00:42:47 --> 00:42:50

it so smart, you know, a decision and

00:42:50 --> 00:42:52

interesting. So the

00:42:52 --> 00:42:53

prophet told him,

00:42:53 --> 00:42:55

don't worry about Palha.

00:42:55 --> 00:42:57

Please, if Allah

00:42:57 --> 00:42:59

grant you a child

00:42:59 --> 00:43:02

from that relationship you had with, with your

00:43:02 --> 00:43:04

spouse, please, before you do anything, bring the

00:43:04 --> 00:43:05

child to me first.

00:43:06 --> 00:43:08

SubhanAllah. And that was how the case was

00:43:08 --> 00:43:10

closed. So I just want you to just

00:43:10 --> 00:43:11

go back and see what kind of a

00:43:11 --> 00:43:14

person, you know, Musulayim was.

00:43:14 --> 00:43:17

Whoever stays with that woman was staying with

00:43:17 --> 00:43:19

the person who is really a responsible

00:43:20 --> 00:43:21

person. That's why when the prophet

00:43:22 --> 00:43:24

came, she realized that everyone is making gifts

00:43:24 --> 00:43:26

to us to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.

00:43:26 --> 00:43:27

She think of what to do, what to

00:43:27 --> 00:43:30

do. She says to herself, the best

00:43:30 --> 00:43:32

is to put my son in that house.

00:43:32 --> 00:43:34

You Allah. She made a very nice decision.

00:43:35 --> 00:43:38

And she quickly did that before somebody else

00:43:38 --> 00:43:40

goes before her. She took her son.

00:43:40 --> 00:43:42

And as he was very young.

00:43:42 --> 00:43:43

You know.

00:43:44 --> 00:43:46

She told the prophet she said, you Rasool

00:43:46 --> 00:43:47

Allah,

00:43:48 --> 00:43:49

Anas ibn Malik

00:43:51 --> 00:43:53

is your servant, You Rasulullah. Please let him

00:43:53 --> 00:43:55

stay with you. You are here,

00:43:56 --> 00:43:57

as a stranger. You don't know this place.

00:43:57 --> 00:43:59

You need somebody to help you. You Rasulah,

00:43:59 --> 00:44:02

this boy is here just for you, to

00:44:02 --> 00:44:03

help you.

00:44:03 --> 00:44:06

Yeah. Whatever you want, Anas is is there.

00:44:06 --> 00:44:07

The prophet accepted

00:44:07 --> 00:44:08

that. SubhanAllah.

00:44:09 --> 00:44:11

Anas was blessed with this. That's why he

00:44:11 --> 00:44:13

got the Talbiya Farsoul, lassalallahu alaihi wa sallam.

00:44:14 --> 00:44:16

How did he get this? Because of the

00:44:16 --> 00:44:18

smartness of a mother.

00:44:18 --> 00:44:21

This decision led to the production of this,

00:44:22 --> 00:44:23

excellent

00:44:23 --> 00:44:26

person that lived a very long life and

00:44:26 --> 00:44:28

benefited the Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. We're

00:44:28 --> 00:44:31

gonna use some part of his story with

00:44:31 --> 00:44:32

the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam in in

00:44:32 --> 00:44:33

the future.

00:44:33 --> 00:44:36

So I guess this is more than enough

00:44:36 --> 00:44:37

for all of us to open our eyes

00:44:37 --> 00:44:39

to make sure that you choose somebody

00:44:40 --> 00:44:43

who is ready to favor the terpia of

00:44:43 --> 00:44:45

the kids rather than anything else.

00:44:46 --> 00:44:49

Not a job. You marry somebody who is

00:44:49 --> 00:44:51

willing to quit his job

00:44:51 --> 00:44:54

for the sake of the family, who is

00:44:54 --> 00:44:56

willing to quit, you know, his stay in

00:44:56 --> 00:44:58

a country because of the family.

00:44:59 --> 00:45:00

You will not we have some rijal like

00:45:00 --> 00:45:03

this. They left prosperity

00:45:04 --> 00:45:04

and,

00:45:05 --> 00:45:05

dunya life

00:45:06 --> 00:45:08

for the sake of the children.

00:45:08 --> 00:45:10

They go and live in the place and

00:45:10 --> 00:45:12

they will tell you, we do this only

00:45:12 --> 00:45:13

for our kids.

00:45:14 --> 00:45:15

Because they have this sense of a man

00:45:15 --> 00:45:16

and responsibility.

00:45:17 --> 00:45:18

On the other hand, you

00:45:18 --> 00:45:20

have so many of them who favor,

00:45:20 --> 00:45:21

you know,

00:45:21 --> 00:45:24

duniya over the life and the religion of

00:45:24 --> 00:45:24

of their

00:45:25 --> 00:45:25

children.

00:45:27 --> 00:45:29

They have to understand that they will regret

00:45:29 --> 00:45:32

in the future when they meet Allah subhanahu

00:45:32 --> 00:45:34

subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:45:34 --> 00:45:35

So preparation of

00:45:36 --> 00:45:38

the family and creation of the base. And

00:45:38 --> 00:45:40

this base as I said

00:45:40 --> 00:45:42

the other day has to be created upon

00:45:42 --> 00:45:43

the and

00:45:44 --> 00:45:44

I guess

00:45:45 --> 00:45:48

the story of Ibrahim Alaihi Salam, the story

00:45:48 --> 00:45:50

of this old Muslim,

00:45:50 --> 00:45:52

you know, the story of all the prophets

00:45:52 --> 00:45:54

of Allah, small more than, you know, that

00:45:54 --> 00:45:56

the build of that family, you know, which

00:45:56 --> 00:45:59

is responsible to take care of their children

00:45:59 --> 00:46:02

upon the Akida. That's why

00:46:02 --> 00:46:04

no Alai Salam, all was his was here

00:46:04 --> 00:46:05

to the kids.

00:46:06 --> 00:46:06

Akida.

00:46:07 --> 00:46:09

You know? Gave them 4 4 things. 2

00:46:09 --> 00:46:11

things to be avoided,

00:46:11 --> 00:46:13

2 things to be to be done. The

00:46:13 --> 00:46:15

first one is la ilaha illallah. You

00:46:17 --> 00:46:19

tell your children nowadays in the

00:46:20 --> 00:46:22

age of social media, my waseya to you

00:46:22 --> 00:46:23

is

00:46:25 --> 00:46:26

Seer is La ilaha illallah

00:46:27 --> 00:46:28

and subhanallah.

00:46:29 --> 00:46:31

He says I command you to say La

00:46:31 --> 00:46:32

ilaha illallah

00:46:32 --> 00:46:34

and also to constantly say subhanallah.

00:46:36 --> 00:46:38

It's Nuh alayhi salaam giving usia to his

00:46:38 --> 00:46:40

his kid. And he said

00:46:43 --> 00:46:43

because

00:46:44 --> 00:46:44

subhanallah

00:46:45 --> 00:46:46

is a prayer of everything.

00:46:47 --> 00:46:48

And because of subhanallah,

00:46:49 --> 00:46:52

everything is getting its sustenance from Allah subhanahu

00:46:52 --> 00:46:54

wa ta'ala. The risk you get, it is

00:46:54 --> 00:46:56

given to you because of subhanallah.

00:46:57 --> 00:46:58

And he asked them to stay away from

00:46:58 --> 00:46:59

2 things,

00:46:59 --> 00:47:00

arrogance

00:47:01 --> 00:47:02

and shirk.

00:47:03 --> 00:47:05

Associate and partner with Allah and arrogance.

00:47:06 --> 00:47:06

The prophet described

00:47:07 --> 00:47:09

arrogance. He says Al Kibru,

00:47:09 --> 00:47:11

Batul Haki, or Gamtudas.

00:47:12 --> 00:47:13

Stay in a rejection of the truth

00:47:14 --> 00:47:15

and disrespecting

00:47:16 --> 00:47:17

others. This is Kibr.

00:47:17 --> 00:47:18

Allah says

00:47:19 --> 00:47:19

I'm

00:47:27 --> 00:47:29

you know Ibrahim also

00:47:30 --> 00:47:33

the Osia His children was about the Akida.

00:47:34 --> 00:47:34

So

00:47:35 --> 00:47:37

that's the reason why I said the most

00:47:37 --> 00:47:39

important, you know, foundation

00:47:40 --> 00:47:40

you place

00:47:41 --> 00:47:41

your,

00:47:42 --> 00:47:44

what do you call? The the environment you

00:47:44 --> 00:47:47

are creating for the kids upon should be

00:47:47 --> 00:47:48

the Arcada.

00:47:48 --> 00:47:51

Yeah. Should be the Arcada. If the Arcada

00:47:51 --> 00:47:52

is missing, trust

00:47:52 --> 00:47:54

me. Nothing else will succeed.

00:47:54 --> 00:47:57

Nothing will succeed. Whatever you're gonna give them

00:47:57 --> 00:47:59

in the future, trust me my dear brothers

00:47:59 --> 00:48:00

and sisters, will fail.

00:48:01 --> 00:48:01

Yeah.

00:48:01 --> 00:48:02

So

00:48:03 --> 00:48:06

another thing also to be observing when creating

00:48:07 --> 00:48:08

a family, which is a base of the

00:48:08 --> 00:48:10

terbia of the kids, is the sons of

00:48:10 --> 00:48:12

responsibility and amana.

00:48:12 --> 00:48:13

The prophet said,

00:48:14 --> 00:48:15

ma min rai.

00:48:16 --> 00:48:18

And this is supposed to be from both

00:48:18 --> 00:48:18

side.

00:48:19 --> 00:48:22

The male and the female side. He said,

00:48:30 --> 00:48:31

there will be no right.

00:48:31 --> 00:48:32

Who is the right?

00:48:33 --> 00:48:34

Shepherds,

00:48:34 --> 00:48:35

right?

00:48:36 --> 00:48:37

He says, if Allah

00:48:38 --> 00:48:40

asks you to be responsible,

00:48:40 --> 00:48:42

you know, of a people.

00:48:42 --> 00:48:44

If you let yourself to die,

00:48:45 --> 00:48:46

being irresponsible,

00:48:46 --> 00:48:48

cheating in that responsibility,

00:48:48 --> 00:48:50

he said Jannah is going to be prohibited

00:48:51 --> 00:48:51

upon you.

00:48:53 --> 00:48:56

Yeah, we need to know this. Yeah, because

00:48:56 --> 00:48:59

nowadays, these devices are given to our kids

00:48:59 --> 00:49:00

unsupervised.

00:49:01 --> 00:49:01

Yeah.

00:49:02 --> 00:49:02

Unsupervised.

00:49:03 --> 00:49:05

We bring the television at home.

00:49:06 --> 00:49:06

Unsupervised.

00:49:07 --> 00:49:09

They watch whatever they can. We give them

00:49:09 --> 00:49:10

computers,

00:49:10 --> 00:49:12

and sometimes in their rooms also, they have

00:49:12 --> 00:49:15

their own personal computers and personal device, you

00:49:15 --> 00:49:15

know,

00:49:16 --> 00:49:17

unsupervised.

00:49:19 --> 00:49:19

So

00:49:20 --> 00:49:22

you have to understand that, yes, on the

00:49:22 --> 00:49:23

day of judgement,

00:49:24 --> 00:49:26

this is going to be considered as cheating

00:49:26 --> 00:49:28

in the responsibility. If they use it in

00:49:28 --> 00:49:31

the wrong way, you are responsible. You cannot

00:49:31 --> 00:49:32

say no.

00:49:32 --> 00:49:34

They are supposed to use it in the

00:49:34 --> 00:49:35

correct way. No. You are the one who

00:49:35 --> 00:49:37

give them and did not teach them how

00:49:37 --> 00:49:40

to utilize it properly.

00:49:40 --> 00:49:41

That's why

00:49:41 --> 00:49:43

you have to be conservative in this regard.

00:49:43 --> 00:49:45

Inshallah, we will talk about this. I know

00:49:45 --> 00:49:47

it's very difficult to detach our kids from

00:49:47 --> 00:49:48

this, but

00:49:48 --> 00:49:50

some of these decision

00:49:50 --> 00:49:52

are very bitter, but they have to be

00:49:52 --> 00:49:52

made.

00:49:53 --> 00:49:55

And there is always alternative.

00:49:55 --> 00:49:56

Yeah.

00:49:56 --> 00:49:57

You resist,

00:49:57 --> 00:49:59

you provide alternative for the kids. We need

00:49:59 --> 00:50:02

this for the kids. As a matured person,

00:50:02 --> 00:50:03

you don't need alternative.

00:50:04 --> 00:50:05

All that you need is to know that

00:50:05 --> 00:50:07

Allah swore to warn this from you.

00:50:08 --> 00:50:09

That the kids because,

00:50:10 --> 00:50:12

the mindset and the mentality is not grown,

00:50:12 --> 00:50:13

you know, enough.

00:50:14 --> 00:50:18

They need this alternative. And this alternative inshallah,

00:50:18 --> 00:50:21

they are not money or something. No. That

00:50:21 --> 00:50:22

is the best alternative you can give to

00:50:22 --> 00:50:24

your child. And be it in light of

00:50:24 --> 00:50:26

Allah. It will replace all of those things

00:50:26 --> 00:50:27

that are corrupting

00:50:27 --> 00:50:28

their terpia.

00:50:29 --> 00:50:30

So sense of responsibility,

00:50:30 --> 00:50:32

taking this as a manner

00:50:32 --> 00:50:35

being placed on your shoulder. The spouse, the

00:50:35 --> 00:50:36

one that is going to be living with

00:50:36 --> 00:50:38

you has to have this sense of, you

00:50:38 --> 00:50:41

know, feeling that Allah is going to ask

00:50:41 --> 00:50:42

him about about this.

00:50:43 --> 00:50:44

The prophet

00:50:44 --> 00:50:45

said,

00:50:49 --> 00:50:50

Every one of you is acting as a

00:50:50 --> 00:50:53

shepherd, and Allah will ask him about

00:50:53 --> 00:50:54

his

00:50:54 --> 00:50:54

responsibility.

00:50:55 --> 00:50:58

And he started with the imam. Imam here

00:50:58 --> 00:51:00

is referring to the imam in the Masjid.

00:51:01 --> 00:51:02

Who's he which imam?

00:51:03 --> 00:51:05

The leader, the authority, the king, prime minister,

00:51:05 --> 00:51:07

ministers, you know. Rasulullah

00:51:08 --> 00:51:09

is referring to that one. There will be

00:51:09 --> 00:51:12

a question about this responsibility when they meet

00:51:12 --> 00:51:13

Allah

00:51:13 --> 00:51:15

subhanahu wa ta'ala. And then he says

00:51:17 --> 00:51:19

and you also you're aray. The alabatic.

00:51:20 --> 00:51:22

And if you remember last time, I was

00:51:22 --> 00:51:25

trying to quote from one of the speakers.

00:51:25 --> 00:51:26

He says his observation

00:51:27 --> 00:51:28

led him to believe

00:51:29 --> 00:51:32

You know, he says he his observation led

00:51:32 --> 00:51:34

him to believe that

00:51:34 --> 00:51:36

the reason why the prophet

00:51:37 --> 00:51:41

described a I'm sorry, a father, a leader

00:51:41 --> 00:51:42

as a shepherd,

00:51:42 --> 00:51:44

because a shepherd has to be vigilant.

00:51:46 --> 00:51:48

And subhanallah, he was making an analysis

00:51:48 --> 00:51:49

and comment

00:51:49 --> 00:51:52

on the sheep, which I believe is true.

00:51:53 --> 00:51:55

Because we used to have sheep back home,

00:51:55 --> 00:51:57

there at home. What he says exactly is

00:51:57 --> 00:51:58

the truth.

00:51:59 --> 00:52:00

He says if you see

00:52:01 --> 00:52:03

animals when they have food, food to eat.

00:52:04 --> 00:52:06

God watch cat, you see the cat that

00:52:06 --> 00:52:06

came here?

00:52:07 --> 00:52:08

Give that cat

00:52:08 --> 00:52:09

food,

00:52:09 --> 00:52:10

a rat.

00:52:10 --> 00:52:12

And bring another cat.

00:52:13 --> 00:52:15

To approach that place, what happens?

00:52:16 --> 00:52:18

Look at the the the the what do

00:52:18 --> 00:52:21

you call? The the claws of this cat,

00:52:21 --> 00:52:23

They will, it will bring them out.

00:52:23 --> 00:52:24

Ready

00:52:24 --> 00:52:26

for that one which is approaching.

00:52:27 --> 00:52:28

Animals are like that.

00:52:28 --> 00:52:31

Can you get it? Everyone has a defense

00:52:31 --> 00:52:33

system to defend themselves.

00:52:34 --> 00:52:36

It says my observation led me to believe

00:52:36 --> 00:52:37

that the sheep

00:52:38 --> 00:52:39

is the only

00:52:39 --> 00:52:42

sheep is the only animal that doesn't have

00:52:42 --> 00:52:43

a built in.

00:52:44 --> 00:52:46

A defense system that is attached to it.

00:52:47 --> 00:52:49

And then he says his observation led him

00:52:49 --> 00:52:52

to believe that the sheep also has a

00:52:52 --> 00:52:54

defense. Because when you see the sheep eating,

00:52:55 --> 00:52:56

they don't care who is coming.

00:52:56 --> 00:52:58

The The next one when it comes, he

00:52:58 --> 00:53:00

just push this one to make some space

00:53:00 --> 00:53:02

also. He can put its head also. All

00:53:02 --> 00:53:04

of them will be eaten. Masha Allah. Very

00:53:04 --> 00:53:04

peaceful

00:53:05 --> 00:53:06

animal.

00:53:06 --> 00:53:07

That's why the prophet

00:53:07 --> 00:53:08

said if you want to

00:53:09 --> 00:53:09

see calmness,

00:53:10 --> 00:53:11

you should look at those who are the

00:53:11 --> 00:53:14

caretakers of the sheep. Yeah, because you need

00:53:14 --> 00:53:17

to be like that. For them to for

00:53:17 --> 00:53:18

them to live. So where's the defense of

00:53:18 --> 00:53:19

the sheep?

00:53:20 --> 00:53:22

The defense of the sheep lies in the

00:53:22 --> 00:53:23

shepherd itself.

00:53:24 --> 00:53:25

That's where whenever you see a sheep, even

00:53:25 --> 00:53:27

in the pictures and the images, you see

00:53:27 --> 00:53:29

a shepherd next to next to the sheep

00:53:29 --> 00:53:30

with a stick.

00:53:31 --> 00:53:33

Yeah. They have a stick. They have dog.

00:53:33 --> 00:53:34

Yeah. So the

00:53:34 --> 00:53:36

sheep naturally knows that there is a defense.

00:53:36 --> 00:53:38

Some somebody is standing for them. That's why

00:53:38 --> 00:53:39

they don't care.

00:53:40 --> 00:53:42

When you see negligent, look at the sheep.

00:53:43 --> 00:53:45

Yeah. That's why taking care of them is

00:53:45 --> 00:53:46

not easy.

00:53:46 --> 00:53:48

Controlling sheep is not easy.

00:53:49 --> 00:53:52

And maybe that's the reason why Allahu Alab,

00:54:01 --> 00:54:03

there in the forest together with the companions

00:54:03 --> 00:54:05

and they were getting from the shed one

00:54:05 --> 00:54:06

of the fruit.

00:54:07 --> 00:54:07

The prophet

00:54:08 --> 00:54:08

told them

00:54:10 --> 00:54:11

he said, get the get the black one.

00:54:11 --> 00:54:12

It's it's the best.

00:54:13 --> 00:54:14

They were shocked.

00:54:15 --> 00:54:17

Because they they thought that the prophet

00:54:17 --> 00:54:19

grew up in Makkah. You know Makkah is

00:54:19 --> 00:54:21

a is a city, you know? So it's

00:54:21 --> 00:54:22

just a city boy, you know? They think

00:54:22 --> 00:54:25

that the prophet doesn't know anything about villages.

00:54:25 --> 00:54:26

The prophet

00:54:27 --> 00:54:27

told them

00:54:28 --> 00:54:29

take the black one.

00:54:31 --> 00:54:32

Because it's a it's a best.

00:54:33 --> 00:54:33

They said

00:54:36 --> 00:54:38

were you a shepherd before? Because knowing these

00:54:38 --> 00:54:39

type of things

00:54:39 --> 00:54:41

is only done by the shepherds.

00:54:42 --> 00:54:44

So they told him Yarasula, were you a

00:54:44 --> 00:54:46

shepherd before? He said, oh,

00:54:49 --> 00:54:51

was there any prophet of Allah's mother who

00:54:51 --> 00:54:52

was not a shepherd before?

00:54:53 --> 00:54:56

So you can understand why they have to

00:54:56 --> 00:54:58

go through this process because if they can

00:54:58 --> 00:54:59

take care of a sheep,

00:55:00 --> 00:55:02

trust me, they can take care of human

00:55:02 --> 00:55:02

beings.

00:55:03 --> 00:55:05

Your children, your family, as a as a

00:55:05 --> 00:55:07

as a husband or the father, trust me,

00:55:07 --> 00:55:10

your family are none other than the sheep.

00:55:10 --> 00:55:11

Not in the sense of animals. No one

00:55:11 --> 00:55:14

say Ibrahim called the people sheep. No. Not

00:55:14 --> 00:55:15

in the sense of being animal,

00:55:15 --> 00:55:17

but in the sense of negligent

00:55:17 --> 00:55:20

and believing that there is somebody who is

00:55:20 --> 00:55:22

acting on our behalf, then they just do

00:55:22 --> 00:55:24

whatever they want. So you need to be

00:55:24 --> 00:55:24

vigilant

00:55:25 --> 00:55:27

for them to be able to do the

00:55:27 --> 00:55:28

right thing. They're very innocent,

00:55:29 --> 00:55:32

and they just believe naturally that somebody is

00:55:32 --> 00:55:33

there standing for them.

00:55:33 --> 00:55:35

If you sleep, what will happen?

00:55:35 --> 00:55:36

They will get destroyed.

00:55:39 --> 00:55:41

Please, my dear brothers and sisters, you know,

00:55:41 --> 00:55:42

many of you are married, many of you

00:55:42 --> 00:55:44

did not. Please put this in your mind.

00:55:44 --> 00:55:46

If you don't have this in your brain,

00:55:46 --> 00:55:49

have this feeling in your brain. That your

00:55:49 --> 00:55:50

family needs you to be awake

00:55:51 --> 00:55:52

every single time.

00:55:53 --> 00:55:56

Yeah. Smart and awake. We're going to talk

00:55:56 --> 00:55:59

about this smartness later insha'Allah. Your family needs

00:55:59 --> 00:56:00

you to be awake

00:56:01 --> 00:56:02

because they sleep

00:56:03 --> 00:56:04

believing that you are awake.

00:56:06 --> 00:56:07

If you sleep,

00:56:08 --> 00:56:10

after they slept, they will get lost.

00:56:11 --> 00:56:13

If you sleep after they slept, because they're

00:56:13 --> 00:56:15

always sleeping, if you're going to sleep, they

00:56:15 --> 00:56:16

will get lost.

00:56:17 --> 00:56:18

That

00:56:18 --> 00:56:20

that's what is the I mean, that is

00:56:20 --> 00:56:22

one of the best thing you get from

00:56:22 --> 00:56:23

this hadith of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa

00:56:23 --> 00:56:26

sallam when he described you as a shepherd.

00:56:26 --> 00:56:29

Meaning you have to be responsible and vigilant

00:56:30 --> 00:56:31

every single time.

00:56:31 --> 00:56:33

Yeah. To be aware of what is going

00:56:33 --> 00:56:34

on in your in your house.

00:56:35 --> 00:56:37

Not in the sense of putting a lot

00:56:37 --> 00:56:38

of restriction to your kids in the way

00:56:38 --> 00:56:40

they have no gender in the house.

00:56:41 --> 00:56:43

That's another tragedy. We will address it inshallah

00:56:44 --> 00:56:46

in in the future. But being vigilant doesn't

00:56:46 --> 00:56:48

mean your children have no freedom.

00:56:49 --> 00:56:50

No. They should have

00:56:51 --> 00:56:54

more freedom than restriction. Inshallah, we will address

00:56:54 --> 00:56:56

this in the future. So, sense of responsibility,

00:56:57 --> 00:56:58

sense of amana.

00:56:58 --> 00:56:59

And you know that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:56:59 --> 00:57:00

will ask you about this amana on the

00:57:00 --> 00:57:02

day of judgement. If you cheat in this

00:57:02 --> 00:57:04

amana, you're gonna pay the price when you

00:57:04 --> 00:57:05

meet Allah subhanahu

00:57:06 --> 00:57:06

wa ta'ala.

00:57:08 --> 00:57:10

And I will close this, part,

00:57:10 --> 00:57:11

insha'Allah,

00:57:12 --> 00:57:13

with this, statement.

00:57:14 --> 00:57:15

Don't be surprised.

00:57:16 --> 00:57:17

Don't be surprised

00:57:17 --> 00:57:18

that a person's

00:57:19 --> 00:57:19

Jannah

00:57:20 --> 00:57:21

might be delayed

00:57:21 --> 00:57:22

because of his

00:57:24 --> 00:57:25

children. You know,

00:57:26 --> 00:57:28

you Allah. This is a very serious matter.

00:57:28 --> 00:57:30

No matter how much righteous you are,

00:57:30 --> 00:57:32

you might be delayed. InshaAllah, it will never

00:57:32 --> 00:57:33

happen

00:57:35 --> 00:57:35

to you, but a person might be delayed

00:57:35 --> 00:57:35

in going to Jannah

00:57:36 --> 00:57:37

because of his children.

00:57:39 --> 00:57:41

Yeah. This should be a very serious matter

00:57:41 --> 00:57:44

with you. Allah says, koo amfisa kumalikun

00:57:45 --> 00:57:45

nara.

00:57:46 --> 00:57:47

Allah says, protect yourself

00:57:48 --> 00:57:50

and your family from the health.

00:57:58 --> 00:57:59

So what happened is

00:57:59 --> 00:58:01

that I'm negligent in my responsibility.

00:58:02 --> 00:58:05

I don't give my kids that they need.

00:58:06 --> 00:58:07

I give them, you know, a lot of

00:58:07 --> 00:58:09

freedom to do whatever they want.

00:58:11 --> 00:58:13

They are so happy with the kind of

00:58:13 --> 00:58:16

freedom I'm providing them. So today, who is

00:58:16 --> 00:58:17

their best friend?

00:58:18 --> 00:58:21

Who is their best friend? The father. Right?

00:58:21 --> 00:58:23

Or the mother who's giving them this, you

00:58:23 --> 00:58:25

know, unrestricted freedom?

00:58:26 --> 00:58:27

However, on the day of judgement,

00:58:28 --> 00:58:30

who is going to fight the father? Who

00:58:30 --> 00:58:32

is the worst enemy?

00:58:32 --> 00:58:35

Shaitan and that father. Trust me, they will

00:58:35 --> 00:58:35

come

00:58:36 --> 00:58:38

and ask Allah to take their right. Allah

00:58:38 --> 00:58:39

says

00:58:47 --> 00:58:49

the close friends, you know, on the day

00:58:49 --> 00:58:51

of judgement, they will become

00:58:52 --> 00:58:53

enemies of each other.

00:58:55 --> 00:58:56

Except those people who

00:58:57 --> 00:58:59

made their friendship in the dunya upon that

00:58:59 --> 00:59:01

which is pleasing to Allah.

00:59:03 --> 00:59:05

So this is really important for a Murabbi,

00:59:05 --> 00:59:07

a father, mother,

00:59:07 --> 00:59:09

whoever has given Tarbia to have this sense

00:59:09 --> 00:59:11

of amana in his heart.

00:59:11 --> 00:59:13

That this person is going to be my

00:59:13 --> 00:59:15

cousin when I meet Allah Today, they are

00:59:15 --> 00:59:17

laughing. They are so happy, you know, they

00:59:17 --> 00:59:19

are telling me you are the best, Yabi,

00:59:19 --> 00:59:21

Yami, you know, you are the best. But

00:59:21 --> 00:59:24

don't forget, tomorrow they will not say you

00:59:24 --> 00:59:25

are the best.

00:59:26 --> 00:59:29

Yeah. They will treat you with that which

00:59:29 --> 00:59:30

you deserve.

00:59:30 --> 00:59:32

You know, and the

00:59:32 --> 00:59:34

will be open between you and them. As

00:59:34 --> 00:59:36

I said, that might be the reason why

00:59:36 --> 00:59:39

a person might be delayed from going to

00:59:39 --> 00:59:40

to Chennai.

00:59:40 --> 00:59:43

So we talk about preparing a base for

00:59:43 --> 00:59:44

your

00:59:45 --> 00:59:47

and that base should be based on what?

00:59:47 --> 00:59:49

Should be based on the Akida. Yeah. That's

00:59:49 --> 00:59:52

the most important thing because if Akida is

00:59:52 --> 00:59:54

being provided, insha Allah,

00:59:55 --> 00:59:57

everything else you want to put in that

00:59:57 --> 01:00:00

base will be possible. If is missing, you

01:00:00 --> 01:00:02

will never be able to succeed

01:00:03 --> 01:00:04

in your Terbia

01:00:04 --> 01:00:05

in the future.

01:00:06 --> 01:00:07

So the next inshallah is to move to

01:00:07 --> 01:00:09

the Sifat Al Murabi.

01:00:09 --> 01:00:10

Al Moktas.

01:00:11 --> 01:00:12

Yeah. Sifat of the Morabi.

01:00:13 --> 01:00:15

What are the the qualities that the Morabi

01:00:15 --> 01:00:17

should have? The Morabi that want to succeed.

01:00:17 --> 01:00:18

What kind of qualities

01:00:18 --> 01:00:21

he must be having. So inshallah, we'll do

01:00:21 --> 01:00:23

that in the next session, we'll open the

01:00:23 --> 01:00:25

session for questions if anyone of you wants

01:00:25 --> 01:00:26

to ask

01:00:26 --> 01:00:28

a question about what we what we did

01:00:28 --> 01:00:30

and then be the light and that we

01:00:30 --> 01:00:31

move forward.

01:00:33 --> 01:00:34

So any question?

01:00:35 --> 01:00:36

I decided to make it like this rather

01:00:36 --> 01:00:38

than talking until Asar.

01:00:39 --> 01:00:41

You know many many of you are going

01:00:41 --> 01:00:43

to start sleeping. So, let's have a break

01:00:43 --> 01:00:45

for questions. Inshallah,

01:00:45 --> 01:00:47

if any and then we continue. We would

01:00:47 --> 01:00:48

like to add after the questions.

01:01:41 --> 01:01:42

And then 2 of them was

01:01:43 --> 01:01:44

and subhanallah.

01:01:44 --> 01:01:47

Yeah. So my question is, how do we

01:01:47 --> 01:01:47

teach?

01:01:49 --> 01:01:50

K. This one

01:01:50 --> 01:01:51

will come.

01:01:52 --> 01:01:55

When I talk about instead in you know,

01:01:55 --> 01:01:57

Akida in the heart of the kids, we

01:01:58 --> 01:01:59

will talk about this.

01:01:59 --> 01:02:02

Because at any stage, you're going to be

01:02:02 --> 01:02:04

teaching your kids what they need at that

01:02:04 --> 01:02:04

stage.

01:02:05 --> 01:02:07

And I'm going to the heavy explanation of

01:02:07 --> 01:02:09

Tohid with my 1 year old child.

01:02:10 --> 01:02:12

Yeah? But I start with simple ones.

01:02:12 --> 01:02:14

Oh, create you to introduce the creator to

01:02:14 --> 01:02:16

him. He already have has all of

01:02:17 --> 01:02:19

these things. So I'm just trying to make

01:02:19 --> 01:02:22

a lie that fitra that exists in him

01:02:22 --> 01:02:24

since last month, they are creating. So I

01:02:24 --> 01:02:25

start with the,

01:02:26 --> 01:02:28

simple matters that are within his understanding.

01:02:29 --> 01:02:31

And go according to his age, build up

01:02:31 --> 01:02:32

this, tohid.

01:02:33 --> 01:02:34

Yeah, so I start with the first one.

01:02:34 --> 01:02:36

Who created you, you know, teach him over

01:02:36 --> 01:02:39

the creator, the creator. Let him understand the

01:02:39 --> 01:02:41

fact that whatever he sees in this dunya

01:02:41 --> 01:02:42

of good, the source of this good is

01:02:42 --> 01:02:45

Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. Keep the evil

01:02:45 --> 01:02:48

part aside. Teach him about Shaitan and the

01:02:48 --> 01:02:51

devil and how much Shaitan hate us. You

01:02:51 --> 01:02:54

know, that simple information about the shaitan. Don't

01:02:54 --> 01:02:56

go deeper and deeper. The understanding and the

01:02:56 --> 01:02:58

memory cannot go cannot get that. So So

01:02:58 --> 01:03:01

teach him about Allah and his blessings, and

01:03:01 --> 01:03:02

there we go. As I said, according to

01:03:02 --> 01:03:04

his age, you teach him the until

01:03:05 --> 01:03:07

he grows and take over by himself. So

01:03:07 --> 01:03:09

this will be addressed by

01:03:09 --> 01:03:10

either in in the future.

01:03:17 --> 01:03:17

Yes,

01:03:18 --> 01:03:18

chief.

01:03:25 --> 01:03:27

My question is in your opening statement, you

01:03:27 --> 01:03:27

talked about,

01:03:31 --> 01:03:33

marrying, Aisha at the age of 6. I

01:03:33 --> 01:03:36

know. My question is, due to the level

01:03:36 --> 01:03:38

of maturity that we find in, the kids

01:03:38 --> 01:03:41

nowadays, is that, door still, open

01:03:42 --> 01:03:44

for the Muslim nowadays?

01:03:45 --> 01:03:46

Because in Islam,

01:03:47 --> 01:03:48

the age of

01:03:48 --> 01:03:48

marriage

01:03:49 --> 01:03:50

for the sisters is

01:03:51 --> 01:03:53

actually for the brothers, for both brothers and

01:03:53 --> 01:03:54

sisters,

01:03:54 --> 01:03:55

reaching the age of maturity.

01:03:58 --> 01:03:59

A sister can reach the age of maturity

01:03:59 --> 01:04:01

long before the the brother.

01:04:01 --> 01:04:04

A man can a boy can stay until,

01:04:07 --> 01:04:08

a boy can stay until,

01:04:09 --> 01:04:11

15 years and then he reaches the age

01:04:11 --> 01:04:13

of maturity whereas the sisters,

01:04:13 --> 01:04:14

8 years.

01:04:15 --> 01:04:17

9 years. Yeah, that's why said,

01:04:19 --> 01:04:20

if a girl reaches

01:04:23 --> 01:04:25

9 years, she's not girl anymore, she's a

01:04:25 --> 01:04:25

woman.

01:04:26 --> 01:04:27

And, so

01:04:28 --> 01:04:30

when she start observing the fences,

01:04:31 --> 01:04:33

that's a clear indicator that she can handle

01:04:33 --> 01:04:34

the responsibility

01:04:34 --> 01:04:35

of the,

01:04:36 --> 01:04:36

marriage.

01:04:37 --> 01:04:37

And,

01:04:40 --> 01:04:41

obviously,

01:04:42 --> 01:04:43

as uh-uh

01:04:44 --> 01:04:44

sometimes

01:04:45 --> 01:04:47

the size and the nature of a person

01:04:47 --> 01:04:49

is also supposed to be be

01:04:49 --> 01:04:50

taken into consideration.

01:04:51 --> 01:04:53

If she reached the age of 9 and

01:04:53 --> 01:04:54

she's still

01:04:54 --> 01:04:55

so little, so tiny,

01:04:56 --> 01:04:58

yeah, it might be better for the parent

01:04:58 --> 01:04:59

to to wait.

01:05:00 --> 01:05:03

And also, it is my personal advice that

01:05:04 --> 01:05:06

don't let your daughter go to a marriage

01:05:07 --> 01:05:08

if she doesn't know what marriage is all

01:05:08 --> 01:05:09

about.

01:05:09 --> 01:05:11

Yeah. She should reach the age where she

01:05:11 --> 01:05:12

knows marriage.

01:05:12 --> 01:05:13

Yeah. Otherwise,

01:05:14 --> 01:05:16

that person will be in trouble also giving

01:05:16 --> 01:05:17

her a terabir,

01:05:17 --> 01:05:19

you know. And, also, who to take care

01:05:19 --> 01:05:21

of his kids if they happen to get

01:05:21 --> 01:05:22

kids. So he is going to be busy

01:05:22 --> 01:05:24

giving terubia to this one and,

01:05:24 --> 01:05:27

and the kids also to come. Yeah.

01:05:27 --> 01:05:29

But is it halal after reaching the age

01:05:29 --> 01:05:30

of maturity? Yes. The prophet

01:05:31 --> 01:05:32

did and the scholar said it's okay. As

01:05:32 --> 01:05:34

long as she reaches the age of maturity

01:05:34 --> 01:05:37

then then it is fine. Aisha married the

01:05:37 --> 01:05:39

prophet at the age of 6

01:05:39 --> 01:05:41

and she was taken to the prophet at

01:05:41 --> 01:05:42

the age of 9.

01:05:43 --> 01:05:45

That was the time when the body is

01:05:45 --> 01:05:46

ready to go to the prophet

01:05:47 --> 01:05:49

as as a wife. And subhanallah,

01:05:50 --> 01:05:51

that was the most

01:05:52 --> 01:05:54

successful marriage after the marriage of Khadija with

01:05:54 --> 01:05:54

the prophet

01:05:55 --> 01:05:57

There was no problem in that marriage because

01:05:57 --> 01:06:00

Aisha knows exactly what marriage is all about.

01:06:00 --> 01:06:02

And she accepted the marriage. There was no

01:06:02 --> 01:06:03

*

01:06:03 --> 01:06:03

here.

01:06:04 --> 01:06:06

Sullay Sallallahu alaihi wa sama never *

01:06:06 --> 01:06:07

anyone.

01:06:16 --> 01:06:19

Willingly. She also wants the marriage, she accepted.

01:06:19 --> 01:06:21

The father advised her she did not have

01:06:21 --> 01:06:22

any objection.

01:06:22 --> 01:06:24

In that community they don't force people to

01:06:24 --> 01:06:26

marry if they don't want to marry. That's

01:06:26 --> 01:06:27

why when Umar

01:06:28 --> 01:06:29

proposed to marry the

01:06:29 --> 01:06:31

the daughter of Abu Bakr,

01:06:32 --> 01:06:34

Umu Kulsu, the sister of Aisha and

01:06:36 --> 01:06:39

Aisha told her, she said, she doesn't want.

01:06:39 --> 01:06:40

Yeah. And this is Umar

01:06:41 --> 01:06:44

the Khalifa. But she said she doesn't want.

01:06:44 --> 01:06:46

Aisha radiallahuhan had to all that, but this

01:06:46 --> 01:06:46

is Khalifa.

01:06:47 --> 01:06:48

She says still I don't want.

01:06:49 --> 01:06:51

It's very harsh.

01:06:51 --> 01:06:53

But then, you know, they just

01:06:54 --> 01:06:56

have to go to inform Omar. They inform

01:06:56 --> 01:06:58

him that, yes, she she refused to agree

01:06:58 --> 01:06:59

with the proposal.

01:07:00 --> 01:07:01

They did not force her, knowing the fact

01:07:01 --> 01:07:03

that he is Ummah, the Khalifa of the

01:07:03 --> 01:07:06

Muslim Inn, but they never force her. She

01:07:06 --> 01:07:08

said this is her choice. Let let her

01:07:08 --> 01:07:10

with her choice. Aisha told her wake up,

01:07:10 --> 01:07:11

this is Umar Radiallahu

01:07:11 --> 01:07:13

and Khalifa to Muslimeen. She said no I

01:07:13 --> 01:07:14

don't want.

01:07:15 --> 01:07:17

And does it they do not force her.

01:07:17 --> 01:07:18

And they told Omar, Omar did not say,

01:07:18 --> 01:07:21

come on, how can she reject me?

01:07:21 --> 01:07:23

Yeah. They told him, she said she doesn't

01:07:23 --> 01:07:25

want, then he khalas, he closed the page.

01:07:26 --> 01:07:27

Allah gave him somebody

01:07:28 --> 01:07:29

who was better.

01:07:30 --> 01:07:31

Who was that?

01:07:31 --> 01:07:33

The daughter of Ali ibn Abi Talib. Because

01:07:33 --> 01:07:35

that one is related to Rasulullah.

01:07:36 --> 01:07:37

Umukufu.

01:07:37 --> 01:07:39

That one is related to

01:07:39 --> 01:07:41

you know the the the family of Rasulullah.

01:07:43 --> 01:07:44

She's related to the family of Rasulullah.

01:07:45 --> 01:07:47

So, what I'm trying to say is, in

01:07:47 --> 01:07:50

that time, they don't force, you know, people

01:07:50 --> 01:07:52

to marry. It's very rare to find, to

01:07:52 --> 01:07:53

find this. So the prophet

01:07:53 --> 01:07:54

did it, it shows promiscibility,

01:07:55 --> 01:07:57

and it is on until the day of

01:07:57 --> 01:07:57

judgement.

01:07:58 --> 01:08:00

Yeah. We do have children in the primary

01:08:00 --> 01:08:01

school committing Zena.

01:08:02 --> 01:08:04

There's a time we're living in.

01:08:04 --> 01:08:06

One of the worst stories I hear is

01:08:06 --> 01:08:08

this. The girl in the primary school becoming

01:08:08 --> 01:08:09

pregnant.

01:08:10 --> 01:08:10

How?

01:08:12 --> 01:08:13

Primary school. Right?

01:08:14 --> 01:08:15

What does that tell you?

01:08:16 --> 01:08:16

Yeah.

01:08:17 --> 01:08:19

The parents should be very careful. When she

01:08:19 --> 01:08:20

says she need to marry,

01:08:21 --> 01:08:23

Yeah. If they will not get into trouble,

01:08:23 --> 01:08:25

let her go rather than committing Zina.

01:08:26 --> 01:08:27

You know, and then it become a shame

01:08:27 --> 01:08:29

for the family and the community.

01:08:30 --> 01:08:32

But unfortunately, we are living in a time

01:08:32 --> 01:08:32

whereby

01:08:33 --> 01:08:35

Zena can take place against kids.

01:08:36 --> 01:08:38

* can take place against kid.

01:08:39 --> 01:08:40

Nobody is talking about this.

01:08:41 --> 01:08:43

It's all NIFAC. It's all NIFAC, and it

01:08:43 --> 01:08:45

stands for woman. It stands for children. Trust

01:08:45 --> 01:08:47

me. It's all nifaq.

01:08:47 --> 01:08:49

It's part of the agenda to create that

01:08:49 --> 01:08:51

kind of system that will corrupt our kids,

01:08:51 --> 01:08:54

which, inshallah, we'll address in in the future.

01:08:55 --> 01:08:57

They know exactly what they are doing. You

01:08:57 --> 01:08:59

Allah. They know exactly what they are doing.

01:09:00 --> 01:09:02

Otherwise, in an Islamic school,

01:09:03 --> 01:09:04

Islamic school,

01:09:06 --> 01:09:08

the curriculum for the history

01:09:09 --> 01:09:12

is Kufar history. Kufar Kufar.

01:09:12 --> 01:09:15

Kufar Kufar. Number 1 Kufar. Even amongst the

01:09:15 --> 01:09:17

Kufar, they are unique among Kufar Kufar.

01:09:18 --> 01:09:21

We teach the history. Trust me. Honestly speaking,

01:09:21 --> 01:09:23

what does my child going to benefit from

01:09:23 --> 01:09:24

this history?

01:09:26 --> 01:09:28

What does my I look at the book

01:09:28 --> 01:09:29

of history in one of the grades.

01:09:30 --> 01:09:32

Trust me with no exaggeration from a to

01:09:32 --> 01:09:34

z in that book that is nothing except

01:09:34 --> 01:09:34

Christianity

01:09:35 --> 01:09:36

until that.

01:09:37 --> 01:09:39

The clashes because between the this church and

01:09:39 --> 01:09:42

this church. There is no single word to

01:09:42 --> 01:09:44

my knowledge who talks about Islam. None.

01:09:45 --> 01:09:47

It's about them, their history.

01:09:47 --> 01:09:49

And at the end of the day, my

01:09:49 --> 01:09:50

son is going to be,

01:09:50 --> 01:09:51

you know,

01:09:52 --> 01:09:54

writing an examination based on their history.

01:09:55 --> 01:09:56

And you know that this is very dangerous?

01:09:58 --> 01:09:59

You will love this very dangerous.

01:10:00 --> 01:10:02

Because history contains values.

01:10:03 --> 01:10:05

Makes a person to be proud of who

01:10:05 --> 01:10:06

he is.

01:10:07 --> 01:10:08

Produces man.

01:10:09 --> 01:10:10

Yeah. That's why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

01:10:11 --> 01:10:13

repeats the Quran with

01:10:13 --> 01:10:15

with history, history, history. Almost every place you

01:10:15 --> 01:10:17

find history in the Quran.

01:10:18 --> 01:10:21

Because it's it has a very big importance

01:10:21 --> 01:10:23

in our life. In making you who you

01:10:23 --> 01:10:24

are.

01:10:24 --> 01:10:27

And imagine in my school, your school, their

01:10:27 --> 01:10:29

school, we are teaching our children somebody else's

01:10:29 --> 01:10:30

values,

01:10:31 --> 01:10:34

no. So tomorrow, when they become corrupt,

01:10:35 --> 01:10:36

you know, they have all of these bad

01:10:36 --> 01:10:37

behaviors, we complain.

01:10:39 --> 01:10:40

So back to that topic,

01:10:41 --> 01:10:41

you know,

01:10:42 --> 01:10:43

Carol might come in, you know, a boy

01:10:43 --> 01:10:45

might come in, you know, he will up

01:10:45 --> 01:10:46

to date, we are suffering from this, you

01:10:46 --> 01:10:48

know. Even in the good

01:10:48 --> 01:10:51

schools, we have cases of, you know, these

01:10:51 --> 01:10:52

type of behaviors.

01:10:53 --> 01:10:55

And there's not 1 or 2. No. It's

01:10:55 --> 01:10:55

rampant.

01:10:56 --> 01:10:58

Yeah. That's the reason why we have to

01:10:58 --> 01:11:00

wake up. So at that age, they do.

01:11:01 --> 01:11:03

You don't see that in the newspaper. People

01:11:03 --> 01:11:04

are talking about that. You don't see that

01:11:04 --> 01:11:06

in the media. People are talking about that.

01:11:07 --> 01:11:07

However,

01:11:08 --> 01:11:09

if Karim

01:11:09 --> 01:11:12

let his daughter marry at the younger age,

01:11:12 --> 01:11:13

you know, some countries even at the age

01:11:13 --> 01:11:14

of

01:11:15 --> 01:11:16

1918, you know, as long as she doesn't

01:11:16 --> 01:11:18

reach the age which is prescribed by the

01:11:18 --> 01:11:20

country, the government in that country,

01:11:22 --> 01:11:24

they will be in trouble. Everyone will talk,

01:11:24 --> 01:11:25

including the Muslim themselves.

01:11:27 --> 01:11:29

Somebody was telling me, one of these countries,

01:11:30 --> 01:11:31

committing zina

01:11:31 --> 01:11:34

is halal. The law says, okay, somebody sent

01:11:34 --> 01:11:36

me a question. It says, the law says,

01:11:37 --> 01:11:38

a sister can commit zina.

01:11:39 --> 01:11:42

At any age she want, legally is okay.

01:11:43 --> 01:11:43

However,

01:11:44 --> 01:11:47

marriage is prohibited unless if she reaches this

01:11:47 --> 01:11:47

age.

01:11:49 --> 01:11:51

And somebody will come and

01:11:51 --> 01:11:52

tell us that their

01:11:53 --> 01:11:54

virtues and values

01:11:55 --> 01:11:56

are

01:11:56 --> 01:11:57

good for us.

01:11:58 --> 01:12:00

And Lagranta's good. So to answer that question,

01:12:00 --> 01:12:01

it is halal.

01:12:02 --> 01:12:02

And however,

01:12:03 --> 01:12:05

there are many factors also emerge to be

01:12:05 --> 01:12:06

considered. Aisha was not,

01:12:07 --> 01:12:08

what do you call,

01:12:09 --> 01:12:12

simple person, a very unique person.

01:12:12 --> 01:12:14

Right? So don't take your daughter when she

01:12:14 --> 01:12:15

was cut caught,

01:12:16 --> 01:12:18

Yeah. To the house of, somebody. Right?

01:12:18 --> 01:12:20

And wait for for her to reach the

01:12:20 --> 01:12:21

age of maturity and the body also,

01:12:22 --> 01:12:25

can handle responsibility of the marriage and then

01:12:25 --> 01:12:25

she goes.

01:12:27 --> 01:12:28

But that is sharia of Allah

01:12:29 --> 01:12:32

and whoever doesn't, you know, become happy with

01:12:32 --> 01:12:33

this, we tell him, Allah says

01:12:36 --> 01:12:38

it's as simple as this. I hear some

01:12:38 --> 01:12:40

Muslims are modifying. Oh, Rasulullah

01:12:40 --> 01:12:42

at the age of 11. You know,

01:12:43 --> 01:12:45

Something like that, you know. How if somebody

01:12:45 --> 01:12:48

is making some modification? No. You don't modify

01:12:48 --> 01:12:50

and we don't apologize because there was nothing

01:12:50 --> 01:12:51

wrong being done.

01:12:52 --> 01:12:54

There was an excellent thing that prophet

01:12:54 --> 01:12:56

did, and it was a success.

01:12:56 --> 01:12:58

You get it? There was no failure in

01:12:58 --> 01:12:59

that marriage at all.

01:13:00 --> 01:13:02

So if they talk, we tell them.

01:13:04 --> 01:13:06

Yeah. We don't agree in forced marriages.

01:13:06 --> 01:13:08

We're better than them. We and we agree

01:13:08 --> 01:13:10

with responsible marriage.

01:13:10 --> 01:13:12

You know? The Walee has been there for

01:13:12 --> 01:13:13

what?

01:13:14 --> 01:13:16

Why do we have Walee in in marriage?

01:13:18 --> 01:13:20

There's a protection for them, for their sister,

01:13:20 --> 01:13:23

right? Yeah. Police there have been placed in

01:13:23 --> 01:13:25

the sharia of Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam as

01:13:25 --> 01:13:27

a protector for her sister. How many times

01:13:27 --> 01:13:29

her sister married and she got into trouble

01:13:29 --> 01:13:30

from her husband?

01:13:30 --> 01:13:32

How many times? A lot.

01:13:33 --> 01:13:34

A lot of times.

01:13:34 --> 01:13:36

So Ali is standing as a protection for

01:13:36 --> 01:13:37

her. Alright?

01:13:38 --> 01:13:39

And also

01:13:39 --> 01:13:41

the husband will always remember that there is

01:13:41 --> 01:13:43

somebody who is standing for her. So he

01:13:43 --> 01:13:45

will try to behave well or just let

01:13:45 --> 01:13:46

her go.

01:13:46 --> 01:13:49

Rather than harm him because he has somebody

01:13:49 --> 01:13:50

also who stands for

01:13:51 --> 01:13:54

her. Yeah. LaGrange is good. K. Next question,

01:13:54 --> 01:13:54

if any.

01:13:55 --> 01:13:57

One last question, then we go to now.

01:13:58 --> 01:13:59

We'll go back to the class.

01:14:00 --> 01:14:00

Sister.

01:14:05 --> 01:14:06

The father needs to be vigilant

01:14:07 --> 01:14:09

in guarding the family. I know. Can sheikh

01:14:09 --> 01:14:12

please elaborate as normally the father leaves this

01:14:12 --> 01:14:12

responsibility to

01:14:13 --> 01:14:15

the mother to do this? But he shouldn't.

01:14:16 --> 01:14:18

No. He shouldn't. This is

01:14:19 --> 01:14:21

lack of sense of responsibility and a manner

01:14:21 --> 01:14:22

from the side of the father.

01:14:23 --> 01:14:25

That heavy cooperation between both of them must

01:14:25 --> 01:14:26

be maintained.

01:14:27 --> 01:14:29

Yeah. A woman need a man on her

01:14:29 --> 01:14:30

side to succeed in her talvia.

01:14:31 --> 01:14:33

She need that. There has to be somebody

01:14:33 --> 01:14:36

who is following up. That's why in the

01:14:36 --> 01:14:37

house,

01:14:37 --> 01:14:39

who is the monster in the house?

01:14:41 --> 01:14:43

Salam. Who is the monster in the house?

01:14:43 --> 01:14:44

The father.

01:14:45 --> 01:14:48

And, who is the the kind person, you

01:14:48 --> 01:14:48

know,

01:14:49 --> 01:14:50

more merciful person?

01:14:51 --> 01:14:54

The mother. Yeah. Yeah. She talks, she shouts,

01:14:54 --> 01:14:54

she

01:14:55 --> 01:14:56

she fights so much, but,

01:14:57 --> 01:14:59

the kids, you know, naturally knows that it

01:14:59 --> 01:15:00

doesn't go to the heart.

01:15:01 --> 01:15:02

Because if the child is to get into

01:15:02 --> 01:15:03

trouble,

01:15:03 --> 01:15:05

the mother will lose her uncle and go

01:15:05 --> 01:15:07

immediately. And just now she was she was

01:15:07 --> 01:15:10

shouting at him, sending shoes to him. But

01:15:10 --> 01:15:12

but now he got into trouble. She was

01:15:12 --> 01:15:13

the first she will be the first person

01:15:13 --> 01:15:14

to be traumatised

01:15:15 --> 01:15:17

and go and get him. So this connection

01:15:17 --> 01:15:18

between the child and the mother is always

01:15:18 --> 01:15:19

there.

01:15:20 --> 01:15:22

But the father

01:15:23 --> 01:15:24

is not like that.

01:15:26 --> 01:15:27

It's too cold.

01:15:29 --> 01:15:30

So the father

01:15:31 --> 01:15:33

is a bit serious. So we need this

01:15:33 --> 01:15:36

seriousness from him. And we need that soft

01:15:36 --> 01:15:37

softness

01:15:37 --> 01:15:40

and gentleness from the from the mother's side.

01:15:40 --> 01:15:42

If we have these 2 inshallah, the balance

01:15:42 --> 01:15:44

will be maintained. And then

01:15:45 --> 01:15:47

good will be given to to the child.

01:15:47 --> 01:15:50

So the father shouldn't step aside and let

01:15:50 --> 01:15:52

the mother do the herself.

01:15:53 --> 01:15:55

You get it? The father shouldn't do that.

01:15:55 --> 01:15:58

She needs his support and help. That's why

01:15:58 --> 01:16:00

the kaula says, I cannot do it alone.

01:16:01 --> 01:16:04

You Rasool Allah. My my husband did the

01:16:04 --> 01:16:06

wihar on me, and I cannot do the

01:16:06 --> 01:16:09

at all. He left me with kids. If

01:16:09 --> 01:16:10

I am to leave this kid to him,

01:16:11 --> 01:16:13

they will they will die out of hunger.

01:16:13 --> 01:16:15

And if I leave them with me,

01:16:15 --> 01:16:17

they will get lost because they need the

01:16:17 --> 01:16:19

support of the father for their terabir to

01:16:19 --> 01:16:20

be to be maintained.

01:16:21 --> 01:16:23

Allah grant us good. So let's go back

01:16:23 --> 01:16:26

inshallah and then we open, the session again

01:16:26 --> 01:16:28

for questions. May Allah grant to all of

01:16:28 --> 01:16:29

us, Tawfiq,

01:16:29 --> 01:16:31

and be with us wherever we are. So

01:16:31 --> 01:16:33

as I said, we'll be talking inshallah about

01:16:33 --> 01:16:35

the Sifat Al Almorabi.

01:16:36 --> 01:16:39

Yeah, the qualities the Morabi should have. Okay?

01:16:40 --> 01:16:43

The first one mentioned by, some is,

01:16:43 --> 01:16:44

I learned knowledge.

01:16:45 --> 01:16:46

You know,

01:16:46 --> 01:16:47

knowledge.

01:16:47 --> 01:16:49

You see we talk about Akida, right? And

01:16:49 --> 01:16:51

we talk about other

01:16:52 --> 01:16:54

discipline, you know, you have knowledge, you have

01:16:54 --> 01:16:55

Akida knowledge.

01:16:56 --> 01:16:58

So, you're going to be, you know, giving

01:16:58 --> 01:17:00

Tarbia of your kids, kids and you're based

01:17:00 --> 01:17:01

them upon the knowledge.

01:17:02 --> 01:17:04

The Arabs said,

01:17:05 --> 01:17:08

You know, if you like something, you cannot

01:17:08 --> 01:17:09

give it to somebody.

01:17:10 --> 01:17:11

He meaning,

01:17:11 --> 01:17:13

if you don't have something, how can you

01:17:13 --> 01:17:15

present it to somebody? I want to teach

01:17:15 --> 01:17:17

somebody knowledge. But I don't have that knowledge.

01:17:18 --> 01:17:19

How can I teach?

01:17:20 --> 01:17:21

That's why

01:17:22 --> 01:17:25

the father and the mother both are supposed

01:17:25 --> 01:17:27

to be upon the necessary knowledge

01:17:27 --> 01:17:29

because there must be classes

01:17:30 --> 01:17:31

organized in the class.

01:17:32 --> 01:17:34

You know, a dead family

01:17:34 --> 01:17:36

is a family that the father is busy

01:17:36 --> 01:17:38

with his work, the mother also busy with

01:17:38 --> 01:17:40

her work, whatever that work might be.

01:17:40 --> 01:17:43

They don't have duress in the family.

01:17:43 --> 01:17:45

This is very wrong and very dangerous.

01:17:46 --> 01:17:48

There must be duress in the family where

01:17:48 --> 01:17:50

the father is teaching or the mother is

01:17:50 --> 01:17:51

teaching.

01:17:51 --> 01:17:53

And if the mother is ignorant

01:17:53 --> 01:17:56

and the father is ignorant, the kids have

01:17:56 --> 01:17:57

to go and get it by themselves.

01:17:58 --> 01:18:00

This will be the beginning of efficiency.

01:18:01 --> 01:18:03

So knowledge is necessary.

01:18:04 --> 01:18:06

Right? Not not in the sense of being

01:18:06 --> 01:18:07

a Mufti,

01:18:08 --> 01:18:10

you know, or great scholar. No. You just

01:18:10 --> 01:18:11

need to know the basic.

01:18:12 --> 01:18:14

Your child need to pray, need to fast,

01:18:14 --> 01:18:17

need to pay charity when he becomes rich.

01:18:17 --> 01:18:19

When he reaches the age of puberty, he

01:18:19 --> 01:18:21

need to understand how to deal with that

01:18:21 --> 01:18:21

situation.

01:18:22 --> 01:18:24

You know? Which in many places, we even

01:18:24 --> 01:18:26

cancel the explanation. We don't tell the kids

01:18:26 --> 01:18:28

what to do in that

01:18:28 --> 01:18:29

situation

01:18:29 --> 01:18:32

due to the shyness and the cultural barrier

01:18:32 --> 01:18:33

between us and our children.

01:18:34 --> 01:18:36

Yeah. We felt so shy. The school is

01:18:36 --> 01:18:38

not explaining and we are not explaining. So

01:18:38 --> 01:18:39

they grow up and they don't know what

01:18:39 --> 01:18:40

to do in that regard.

01:18:42 --> 01:18:44

So knowledge is is necessary.

01:18:45 --> 01:18:46

The father and the mother, they have to

01:18:46 --> 01:18:49

be upon the knowledge as I said, because

01:18:49 --> 01:18:51

they are going to engage in teaching the

01:18:51 --> 01:18:51

kids in

01:18:52 --> 01:18:53

in the in the future.

01:18:55 --> 01:18:57

The second one is the Amana. There's a

01:18:57 --> 01:18:59

first quality is knowledge. A mother should be

01:18:59 --> 01:19:02

knowledgeable and the father should be knowledgeable. The

01:19:02 --> 01:19:03

second one is Amana.

01:19:04 --> 01:19:06

Because as I said, kids are

01:19:06 --> 01:19:08

a manner on our shoulder.

01:19:09 --> 01:19:11

So a husband should be, I mean, trustworthy.

01:19:12 --> 01:19:14

And the wife also should be, I mean,

01:19:14 --> 01:19:15

trustworthy.

01:19:16 --> 01:19:18

If the spouse is not trustworthy,

01:19:19 --> 01:19:21

that responsibility and the terbia will not be

01:19:21 --> 01:19:22

given

01:19:23 --> 01:19:25

correctly. You're going to leave your house,

01:19:25 --> 01:19:27

and who is going to be giving the

01:19:27 --> 01:19:29

terbia to the kids? Your wife.

01:19:29 --> 01:19:31

She might be leaving the house, and who

01:19:31 --> 01:19:33

is going to be taking care of the

01:19:33 --> 01:19:33

kids?

01:19:34 --> 01:19:34

The husband.

01:19:35 --> 01:19:37

Is that clear? In our time, from time

01:19:37 --> 01:19:39

to time, sometimes the wife will be in

01:19:39 --> 01:19:40

in the hospital.

01:19:41 --> 01:19:42

Or she will be with the family. And

01:19:42 --> 01:19:44

the husband happens to be with with the

01:19:44 --> 01:19:45

kids at home.

01:19:46 --> 01:19:48

Yeah. If he doesn't know how to,

01:19:48 --> 01:19:50

I mean doesn't have the sense of responsibility

01:19:50 --> 01:19:52

in Amana, trust me, he will never do

01:19:52 --> 01:19:53

the job correctly.

01:19:54 --> 01:19:55

He will not fear Allah and

01:19:56 --> 01:19:57

if there is no Amana,

01:19:58 --> 01:20:00

they will be feeding the kids with the

01:20:00 --> 01:20:00

wrong information.

01:20:02 --> 01:20:04

Yeah, just to preserve their own personal

01:20:05 --> 01:20:07

interest. Because a child as the scholars mentioned,

01:20:08 --> 01:20:10

is just like an empty bag.

01:20:11 --> 01:20:12

You are the one who is filling it

01:20:12 --> 01:20:13

with whatever you want.

01:20:15 --> 01:20:17

Get it? A child is just like an

01:20:17 --> 01:20:18

empty bag.

01:20:18 --> 01:20:20

You fill it with whatever you want.

01:20:21 --> 01:20:22

The policies went show

01:20:23 --> 01:20:24

Nashi Olfitiani,

01:20:25 --> 01:20:27

Mina Alama Kana Awadahu, Abuhu.

01:20:28 --> 01:20:29

You know, the kids

01:20:29 --> 01:20:30

are going to

01:20:31 --> 01:20:33

be grown up based on what

01:20:34 --> 01:20:35

the parent

01:20:35 --> 01:20:38

have fed them with. Whatever they give them,

01:20:38 --> 01:20:40

this is going to be their attitude and

01:20:40 --> 01:20:41

their behavior

01:20:41 --> 01:20:42

in the future.

01:20:43 --> 01:20:44

So there has to be a manner. So

01:20:44 --> 01:20:46

that whatever we are going to introduce in

01:20:46 --> 01:20:49

that family should be something that Allah

01:20:50 --> 01:20:51

loves and he will not corrupt

01:20:52 --> 01:20:52

the

01:20:53 --> 01:20:55

the terbia of our our children. Because even

01:20:55 --> 01:20:57

if there is knowledge, but there is no

01:20:57 --> 01:20:58

a manah,

01:20:58 --> 01:21:01

the father will let the kids, you know,

01:21:01 --> 01:21:02

do that which they want to do.

01:21:03 --> 01:21:05

Knowing that this is not pleasing to Allah

01:21:06 --> 01:21:09

because this sense of responsibility is not is

01:21:09 --> 01:21:09

not there.

01:21:10 --> 01:21:11

The 3rd

01:21:11 --> 01:21:12

mentioned by

01:21:13 --> 01:21:15

some scholars is strength,

01:21:16 --> 01:21:17

ability to decide,

01:21:18 --> 01:21:19

to plan, and to execute.

01:21:20 --> 01:21:22

Yeah, a weak family would not succeed in

01:21:22 --> 01:21:25

giving a terabia to the kids. And when

01:21:25 --> 01:21:27

we talk about co work here, we are

01:21:27 --> 01:21:29

not talking about the physical ability.

01:21:31 --> 01:21:33

No. A person might be so skinny, so

01:21:33 --> 01:21:34

thin,

01:21:34 --> 01:21:35

but has him,

01:21:36 --> 01:21:39

you know, has him. We need this, Hazm

01:21:39 --> 01:21:41

to be there, which is one of the

01:21:41 --> 01:21:43

qualities mentioned by some scholars.

01:21:44 --> 01:21:46

So he is capable to, I mean,

01:21:47 --> 01:21:50

to plan. The wife also is like that,

01:21:50 --> 01:21:51

and also to execute.

01:21:52 --> 01:21:54

They're very serious in that decision, and the

01:21:54 --> 01:21:56

kids, they know they know this.

01:21:56 --> 01:21:59

If the family are weak, whenever the mother

01:21:59 --> 01:22:01

asks for something, which she believes is for

01:22:01 --> 01:22:03

the benefit of the kid. And the kid

01:22:03 --> 01:22:05

don't want to accept.

01:22:06 --> 01:22:06

She

01:22:06 --> 01:22:07

submit

01:22:08 --> 01:22:09

to their desire.

01:22:09 --> 01:22:12

The father also submit to that desire. What

01:22:12 --> 01:22:12

happens?

01:22:13 --> 01:22:14

The kid will get lost.

01:22:15 --> 01:22:17

Yeah. We are not helping them. You Allah.

01:22:17 --> 01:22:18

We are not helping them.

01:22:19 --> 01:22:20

That's why

01:22:20 --> 01:22:21

one of them

01:22:22 --> 01:22:23

somebody asked him.

01:22:23 --> 01:22:26

He said, I I want you to advise

01:22:26 --> 01:22:27

me on how to give Telbia to my

01:22:27 --> 01:22:28

child.

01:22:29 --> 01:22:32

He said, how old is your child? You

01:22:32 --> 01:22:33

have one? He said, yes. How old is

01:22:33 --> 01:22:34

he? He said, 1 month.

01:22:35 --> 01:22:37

He said, oh, 1 month is too late.

01:22:37 --> 01:22:38

Now you're asking about

01:22:38 --> 01:22:39

Telvia?

01:22:41 --> 01:22:43

1 month old, he told the father, it's

01:22:43 --> 01:22:44

too late.

01:22:45 --> 01:22:47

So he himself also the sheikh said,

01:22:48 --> 01:22:50

but then after he left, I was thinking

01:22:50 --> 01:22:51

between me and myself,

01:22:53 --> 01:22:56

I think this is exaggeration. Only 1 month?

01:22:56 --> 01:22:58

But then he said, no. It is not.

01:22:58 --> 01:23:00

It is not an exaggeration.

01:23:01 --> 01:23:03

Because the mother has to train the child,

01:23:04 --> 01:23:05

you know, from day 1.

01:23:06 --> 01:23:07

She has to be very smart

01:23:08 --> 01:23:09

in training the child

01:23:10 --> 01:23:11

to give him what he wants

01:23:12 --> 01:23:14

at the time he need it.

01:23:14 --> 01:23:16

The time he doesn't need it, he has

01:23:16 --> 01:23:17

to be trained

01:23:17 --> 01:23:19

not to get something. You know, kids are

01:23:19 --> 01:23:20

very simple.

01:23:20 --> 01:23:22

When a child look for something and you

01:23:22 --> 01:23:24

resist because you know that this is not

01:23:24 --> 01:23:26

good for him and he's just asking,

01:23:26 --> 01:23:29

you know, for fun. He doesn't need it.

01:23:29 --> 01:23:31

When the mother resists, in a nice way

01:23:31 --> 01:23:33

of course. The father resists in a nice

01:23:33 --> 01:23:35

way. The baby is going to do what?

01:23:36 --> 01:23:38

What is he going to do? Crying.

01:23:39 --> 01:23:41

A lot of cry. Usually the vast majority

01:23:41 --> 01:23:44

of us after that cry, we do what?

01:23:44 --> 01:23:45

We submit.

01:23:46 --> 01:23:48

If we are going to submit, then at

01:23:48 --> 01:23:50

the first place we are not supposed to

01:23:50 --> 01:23:52

reject, we are supposed to give. When he

01:23:52 --> 01:23:53

says give, just give.

01:23:54 --> 01:23:55

Because if you let him cry and then

01:23:55 --> 01:23:58

you give, what are you, what kind of

01:23:58 --> 01:24:00

message are you sending the to the to

01:24:00 --> 01:24:00

the child?

01:24:01 --> 01:24:03

The best means to get your need is

01:24:03 --> 01:24:04

to to cry.

01:24:06 --> 01:24:08

Somebody says, child, you see a child, they

01:24:08 --> 01:24:11

feel right? There's there's, cat quote is like,

01:24:12 --> 01:24:13

the, what do you call, what do you

01:24:13 --> 01:24:15

call this, the sample they they put

01:24:15 --> 01:24:19

to show people any what they are selling.

01:24:19 --> 01:24:22

Demo, demo, or something else. Charlie's like a

01:24:22 --> 01:24:23

demo of human being.

01:24:24 --> 01:24:27

Somebody says he's a complete human being, has

01:24:27 --> 01:24:29

all the feeling. And trust me, this is

01:24:29 --> 01:24:30

true. You see this baby?

01:24:31 --> 01:24:33

Whatever you have of feelings,

01:24:33 --> 01:24:34

rejection,

01:24:34 --> 01:24:36

acceptance, what I want, what I don't want,

01:24:36 --> 01:24:38

that the baby has. The only thing is

01:24:38 --> 01:24:40

that they cannot express themselves.

01:24:41 --> 01:24:43

They're monitoring what you're doing. Don't you ever

01:24:43 --> 01:24:45

think and deceive yourself that

01:24:45 --> 01:24:47

the baby doesn't understand? No. They know.

01:24:47 --> 01:24:48

They just cannot

01:24:49 --> 01:24:51

share the discussion with you.

01:24:51 --> 01:24:53

But they know what is going on.

01:24:54 --> 01:24:56

That's why sometimes you see this baby at

01:24:56 --> 01:24:57

the age of 1

01:24:57 --> 01:25:00

would pretend to cry. You know he's pretending.

01:25:01 --> 01:25:04

When you resist, he would just stop crying.

01:25:04 --> 01:25:05

Just like that. Stop.

01:25:07 --> 01:25:10

So the sheikh said, the baby cried,

01:25:10 --> 01:25:12

and then the mother gave him what he

01:25:12 --> 01:25:13

wants. So she's sending a message to the

01:25:13 --> 01:25:14

baby,

01:25:14 --> 01:25:16

you know, that the best method for you

01:25:16 --> 01:25:18

to get your need is to is to

01:25:18 --> 01:25:19

cry.

01:25:20 --> 01:25:21

That's why I said,

01:25:22 --> 01:25:23

if you know you're going to submit,

01:25:25 --> 01:25:27

don't resist in the first place. Just give

01:25:27 --> 01:25:28

them what you want.

01:25:29 --> 01:25:31

So how to make it? No. The time

01:25:31 --> 01:25:33

you know that the child doesn't need. You're

01:25:33 --> 01:25:34

just crying for no reason.

01:25:35 --> 01:25:36

Then

01:25:37 --> 01:25:39

that person says, you should stay away from

01:25:39 --> 01:25:41

giving and let them cry. They are going

01:25:41 --> 01:25:43

to cry. Let them cry. As long as

01:25:43 --> 01:25:45

they are not disturbing the neighbors, let them

01:25:45 --> 01:25:45

cry.

01:25:46 --> 01:25:48

They cry. They come they might come and

01:25:48 --> 01:25:50

hit the mother and do everything, you know,

01:25:50 --> 01:25:51

wanting their right to be given to them.

01:25:51 --> 01:25:53

The mother shouldn't worry.

01:25:54 --> 01:25:55

Just kiss him

01:25:55 --> 01:25:58

and continue with her work. Don't give. It's

01:25:58 --> 01:26:00

good for him actually to cry sometimes to

01:26:00 --> 01:26:02

have the better circulation of blood as they

01:26:02 --> 01:26:03

said.

01:26:05 --> 01:26:08

But, trust me, this is really, good for

01:26:08 --> 01:26:08

the children.

01:26:09 --> 01:26:11

Although I don't do it at the early

01:26:11 --> 01:26:13

age of the kids. Yeah, because you might

01:26:13 --> 01:26:14

be harming the child.

01:26:15 --> 01:26:17

Yeah. Because the best way for them to

01:26:17 --> 01:26:19

express their need is when they when they

01:26:19 --> 01:26:21

cry. They have no any other method.

01:26:21 --> 01:26:22

If the mother is supposed to is going

01:26:22 --> 01:26:24

to put them into this, she might harm

01:26:24 --> 01:26:26

the baby, you know, unnecessarily.

01:26:27 --> 01:26:28

But there is a time when the boy

01:26:28 --> 01:26:31

will grow a bit, and he's crying unnecessarily,

01:26:31 --> 01:26:33

and the parents are giving him what they

01:26:33 --> 01:26:36

need. Trust me. They are corrupting their child.

01:26:36 --> 01:26:38

They have to start discipline,

01:26:38 --> 01:26:41

the child from that age. So what they

01:26:41 --> 01:26:43

should do? Don't give what they know the

01:26:43 --> 01:26:46

child doesn't need to train him on how

01:26:46 --> 01:26:49

to, you know, restrict himself to, what is

01:26:49 --> 01:26:52

necessary. They will cry. The next time also

01:26:52 --> 01:26:54

they look for it, when she refused or

01:26:54 --> 01:26:56

he refused, they will cry also. But trust

01:26:56 --> 01:26:59

me, the cry today will not be like

01:26:59 --> 01:27:00

the cry yesterday.

01:27:00 --> 01:27:02

And the 3rd time, they will cry a

01:27:02 --> 01:27:04

bit until they reach the time when they

01:27:04 --> 01:27:05

said, no, the child will just look for

01:27:05 --> 01:27:06

something else.

01:27:08 --> 01:27:10

They are trained. So Alcoa is necessary

01:27:11 --> 01:27:13

to be able to make a decision

01:27:13 --> 01:27:15

and to execute your decision.

01:27:15 --> 01:27:17

Yeah. This is really necessary in the parent.

01:27:17 --> 01:27:19

You shouldn't be weak in this regard.

01:27:20 --> 01:27:21

The poll says

01:27:26 --> 01:27:28

we'll talk about this inshallah later.

01:27:29 --> 01:27:32

Okay. Justice. This is more applicable when you

01:27:32 --> 01:27:33

have, you know, many children.

01:27:34 --> 01:27:35

It's really

01:27:37 --> 01:27:39

dangerous for you not to be fair and

01:27:39 --> 01:27:40

just to your kids.

01:27:42 --> 01:27:44

You get it? That's why the

01:27:44 --> 01:27:46

prophet said, when you make a gift to

01:27:46 --> 01:27:47

the children,

01:27:48 --> 01:27:49

give each one of them the same thing

01:27:49 --> 01:27:50

you are giving

01:27:51 --> 01:27:52

the other one.

01:27:52 --> 01:27:55

The man of Bilashid said, my father gave

01:27:55 --> 01:27:55

me a land.

01:27:56 --> 01:27:58

He gave him a land

01:27:58 --> 01:27:58

and

01:27:59 --> 01:28:00

his wife,

01:28:00 --> 01:28:02

the mother of Noman said,

01:28:03 --> 01:28:05

I don't want to witness this

01:28:05 --> 01:28:06

unless if you go and talk to the

01:28:06 --> 01:28:07

prophet

01:28:07 --> 01:28:09

about that. So he went to told him,

01:28:09 --> 01:28:11

yeah, Rasul, I want to make gift to

01:28:11 --> 01:28:13

my child. And no man.

01:28:13 --> 01:28:14

The prophet said,

01:28:15 --> 01:28:17

oh, that's nice but did you, do you

01:28:17 --> 01:28:19

have other children? He said, yes, I have

01:28:19 --> 01:28:21

other children. The prophet

01:28:21 --> 01:28:23

said, did you give them land also in

01:28:23 --> 01:28:24

the way you give this one? He said,

01:28:24 --> 01:28:25

no, you Rasulullah.

01:28:26 --> 01:28:26

The prophet

01:28:27 --> 01:28:27

said,

01:28:33 --> 01:28:34

He said go and look for somebody to

01:28:34 --> 01:28:35

witness this

01:28:36 --> 01:28:36

because

01:28:37 --> 01:28:38

I don't witness injustice.

01:28:40 --> 01:28:42

When he says go and look for somebody

01:28:42 --> 01:28:43

to witness this.

01:28:43 --> 01:28:45

Does that mean it's okay for him to

01:28:45 --> 01:28:47

go and look for somebody to witness it?

01:28:48 --> 01:28:48

Salam.

01:28:49 --> 01:28:51

Does that mean he can go and look

01:28:51 --> 01:28:52

for somebody? Of course, no.

01:28:53 --> 01:28:55

Because he says, I don't witness in injustice.

01:28:56 --> 01:28:58

And then he says fear Allah and be

01:28:58 --> 01:29:00

just to your kids.

01:29:00 --> 01:29:02

So it's very wrong. It's very wrong.

01:29:03 --> 01:29:05

And you can do that unless if there

01:29:05 --> 01:29:07

is a justification for the gift.

01:29:07 --> 01:29:09

For instance, you have 2 children.

01:29:10 --> 01:29:11

1 of them is studying in UAE.

01:29:13 --> 01:29:14

Get it? 1 of them is studying in

01:29:14 --> 01:29:15

UAE,

01:29:15 --> 01:29:17

and your house is nearby.

01:29:18 --> 01:29:20

Your house is nearby. You live in Idaman,

01:29:20 --> 01:29:22

Taman, Malati, or something,

01:29:23 --> 01:29:23

some some

01:29:24 --> 01:29:26

some somewhere closer to UI.

01:29:27 --> 01:29:29

And the other child

01:29:29 --> 01:29:30

studies in,

01:29:31 --> 01:29:32

let's say, Kajang.

01:29:34 --> 01:29:36

Right? He studies in Kajang.

01:29:37 --> 01:29:40

It's too far, right? Transportation also and, food

01:29:40 --> 01:29:41

and all of these things.

01:29:42 --> 01:29:44

If I give them the monthly allowance, am

01:29:44 --> 01:29:46

I going to give them an equal amount?

01:29:47 --> 01:29:49

No. The one who goes far, you favor

01:29:49 --> 01:29:51

him and this one also will understand.

01:29:52 --> 01:29:53

Because he's gone far distance, that's why he's

01:29:53 --> 01:29:55

getting this money. It's not for his own.

01:29:56 --> 01:29:57

Personal

01:29:57 --> 01:29:59

use the way he wants. No. It is

01:29:59 --> 01:30:00

because of his need.

01:30:02 --> 01:30:03

You have 2 children.

01:30:03 --> 01:30:05

A boy and a girl.

01:30:05 --> 01:30:07

The boy is married and the girl is

01:30:07 --> 01:30:07

married.

01:30:09 --> 01:30:10

You give the boy

01:30:11 --> 01:30:12

a house.

01:30:13 --> 01:30:15

Is it necessary that you must give the

01:30:15 --> 01:30:16

girl also a house?

01:30:21 --> 01:30:24

Give the boy a house. The girl is

01:30:24 --> 01:30:25

it missus Abed you have to give her

01:30:25 --> 01:30:26

also a house?

01:30:29 --> 01:30:31

He thought I'm dealing with you know.

01:30:32 --> 01:30:33

Uh-huh.

01:30:33 --> 01:30:34

Not necessary.

01:30:35 --> 01:30:36

Justice is not required here.

01:30:40 --> 01:30:42

The scholar said it's not necessary.

01:30:42 --> 01:30:44

You gave him the house, but for her,

01:30:44 --> 01:30:47

you give her something else, something very valuable

01:30:48 --> 01:30:50

for her. And it's not necessary to spend

01:30:50 --> 01:30:51

the same money you spend buying the house

01:30:51 --> 01:30:52

for him.

01:30:53 --> 01:30:54

Not necessary at all.

01:30:54 --> 01:30:57

You can get very nice and fancy jewelry,

01:30:57 --> 01:30:59

very expensive, you know, and pass it to

01:30:59 --> 01:30:59

her.

01:31:00 --> 01:31:02

If you think she's gonna get annoyed, which

01:31:02 --> 01:31:04

she's not, because she understands that this person

01:31:04 --> 01:31:06

needs a house. She doesn't need because the

01:31:06 --> 01:31:09

husband is going to provide a house for

01:31:09 --> 01:31:11

her, but this one needs a house. So

01:31:11 --> 01:31:13

this kind of preference is okay because you

01:31:13 --> 01:31:15

are doing it based on a need.

01:31:16 --> 01:31:17

How about

01:31:17 --> 01:31:20

if one of them excel in an examination

01:31:21 --> 01:31:23

and the other one is

01:31:23 --> 01:31:24

zipped,

01:31:25 --> 01:31:26

as you said. Meaning,

01:31:27 --> 01:31:27

got

01:31:28 --> 01:31:30

fantastic result

01:31:30 --> 01:31:31

f.

01:31:32 --> 01:31:33

And they are

01:31:34 --> 01:31:34

alike.

01:31:35 --> 01:31:37

Yeah. Like of f is

01:31:37 --> 01:31:39

e. Right? Or something like that. Anyway,

01:31:40 --> 01:31:42

so this one got this result, and the

01:31:42 --> 01:31:44

other one got ace in ace.

01:31:45 --> 01:31:46

When they reach back home,

01:31:47 --> 01:31:49

subhanallah, you're so happy. You when you see

01:31:49 --> 01:31:50

the result,

01:31:51 --> 01:31:51

you know,

01:31:52 --> 01:31:54

you hug the one who got a

01:31:54 --> 01:31:56

you kiss him, you know. Tell him, just

01:31:56 --> 01:31:57

go and get ready.

01:31:58 --> 01:32:00

When we go into the mall, you choose

01:32:00 --> 01:32:03

whatever you want. And this person, the other

01:32:03 --> 01:32:04

one, no hugging,

01:32:05 --> 01:32:06

and then tell him you will eat your

01:32:06 --> 01:32:08

your paper by yourself.

01:32:11 --> 01:32:13

Yeah. We do hard we become harsh. In

01:32:13 --> 01:32:15

some places, trust me, they beat.

01:32:16 --> 01:32:17

This one who got good result,

01:32:18 --> 01:32:18

alhamdulillah.

01:32:19 --> 01:32:20

And this one,

01:32:20 --> 01:32:22

and they beat him also.

01:32:22 --> 01:32:24

Why? We spent a lot on you and

01:32:24 --> 01:32:26

you are giving us this result.

01:32:26 --> 01:32:28

So we favor this one. We give him

01:32:28 --> 01:32:30

all the gifts, and this one, we neglected

01:32:30 --> 01:32:33

them. But Islamically, can this be a justification

01:32:33 --> 01:32:35

for making preference between the kids?

01:32:35 --> 01:32:38

No. Not at all. You can't. And actually,

01:32:38 --> 01:32:40

it's not good for the Telabia.

01:32:40 --> 01:32:43

Trust me, my dear brothers and sisters. It's

01:32:43 --> 01:32:45

not good for the Telubia. Don't you ever

01:32:46 --> 01:32:47

make a gift to a child

01:32:47 --> 01:32:49

against the other one? Unless if he's alone,

01:32:49 --> 01:32:51

if he's alone, no problem.

01:32:51 --> 01:32:53

But don't you ever make a gift

01:32:53 --> 01:32:54

for a child,

01:32:54 --> 01:32:56

you know, against the the rest.

01:32:57 --> 01:32:59

Who did not get the good result in

01:32:59 --> 01:33:01

the way he get it. As a father,

01:33:02 --> 01:33:03

when this happens,

01:33:03 --> 01:33:06

actually, there shouldn't be any gift. If gift

01:33:06 --> 01:33:08

is going to take place, you should give

01:33:08 --> 01:33:08

who?

01:33:09 --> 01:33:10

All of them.

01:33:11 --> 01:33:13

Just tell them this is a gift as

01:33:13 --> 01:33:14

a celebration

01:33:14 --> 01:33:17

for completing our examination.

01:33:17 --> 01:33:19

Alhamdulillah, we managed to see the end of

01:33:19 --> 01:33:20

this examination

01:33:20 --> 01:33:23

and we managed to see good result.

01:33:23 --> 01:33:26

And inshallah, we're going to celebrate this moment

01:33:26 --> 01:33:27

of seeing

01:33:28 --> 01:33:30

the result from each and every one of

01:33:30 --> 01:33:32

you. And inshallah, in the courses

01:33:33 --> 01:33:35

where some of us did not do well,

01:33:35 --> 01:33:37

we're going to cooperate inshallah to make sure

01:33:37 --> 01:33:38

that the next time we get

01:33:39 --> 01:33:41

good thing inshallah. So let's go and celebrate

01:33:41 --> 01:33:42

this all of us. And then you go

01:33:42 --> 01:33:44

with them. Don't show any differences. Hug all

01:33:44 --> 01:33:46

of them. Kiss all of them. Smile and

01:33:46 --> 01:33:48

praise them. You did a nice job. I

01:33:48 --> 01:33:50

have been watching you guys, you know, trying

01:33:50 --> 01:33:51

your best, you know.

01:33:52 --> 01:33:53

Just say trying your best.

01:33:54 --> 01:33:55

Don't say doing,

01:33:56 --> 01:33:57

the right thing because some of them might

01:33:57 --> 01:33:59

be so negligent, but trust me, if you

01:33:59 --> 01:34:01

are to be lenient like this at this

01:34:01 --> 01:34:03

moment, the next examination they

01:34:04 --> 01:34:06

will be able to to do

01:34:06 --> 01:34:09

well. So justice is supposed to be maintained

01:34:09 --> 01:34:12

between the kids. You get it? No making

01:34:12 --> 01:34:13

preference. The prophet

01:34:13 --> 01:34:16

said in the way you want all of

01:34:16 --> 01:34:18

them to love you, you should also equate

01:34:18 --> 01:34:20

them when it comes to gift.

01:34:21 --> 01:34:23

The next one, alhez. So I talk about.

01:34:24 --> 01:34:25

The next one is alhez.

01:34:26 --> 01:34:27

Alhez,

01:34:27 --> 01:34:31

strong interest in doing the right thing, and

01:34:31 --> 01:34:33

also this head should be attached to Dua

01:34:33 --> 01:34:34

and

01:34:35 --> 01:34:37

strong Mutaba, strong supervision

01:34:37 --> 01:34:38

and follow-up.

01:34:39 --> 01:34:41

You know, the life of the kids. And

01:34:41 --> 01:34:41

Mulazama

01:34:42 --> 01:34:43

being with the kids also.

01:34:43 --> 01:34:46

Please take note on all of this. Dua

01:34:46 --> 01:34:47

for the kids.

01:34:47 --> 01:34:49

Not against the kid. Yeah.

01:34:51 --> 01:34:53

Dua for the kids, not against the kid.

01:34:53 --> 01:34:55

A good father, a good mother will never

01:34:56 --> 01:34:58

open their mouth and ask Allah

01:34:58 --> 01:35:00

to send evil to their children.

01:35:01 --> 01:35:03

No matter how much bad they are.

01:35:04 --> 01:35:06

You make du'a for them. Ask Allah

01:35:06 --> 01:35:08

to guide them and to aid them and

01:35:08 --> 01:35:09

to put them in the right way.

01:35:11 --> 01:35:11

You remember

01:35:12 --> 01:35:12

the story,

01:35:13 --> 01:35:15

right? The mother made dua for him. Was

01:35:15 --> 01:35:16

he affected by that dua?

01:35:17 --> 01:35:17

Yes.

01:35:18 --> 01:35:19

Exactly what she asked

01:35:20 --> 01:35:21

for. It's the power of the dua of

01:35:21 --> 01:35:22

the parent.

01:35:23 --> 01:35:24

Against their kids.

01:35:24 --> 01:35:26

You get it? So no matter how much

01:35:26 --> 01:35:28

they upset you, do not open your mouth

01:35:28 --> 01:35:30

and make dua against.

01:35:30 --> 01:35:32

Always ask Allah

01:35:32 --> 01:35:34

to show them the truth and to fix

01:35:34 --> 01:35:34

them.

01:35:35 --> 01:35:37

And also, al mutaba.

01:35:38 --> 01:35:39

Taba means

01:35:39 --> 01:35:40

follow-up.

01:35:40 --> 01:35:42

Make sure that you know that this is

01:35:42 --> 01:35:43

your responsibility,

01:35:43 --> 01:35:45

and you follow-up with your child to know

01:35:45 --> 01:35:46

what exactly they are doing.

01:35:47 --> 01:35:49

And you have to be very careful. When

01:35:49 --> 01:35:51

we talk about mutaba, walmulazama,

01:35:52 --> 01:35:54

you shouldn't do it in the wrong way,

01:35:54 --> 01:35:56

whereby the child feels that he's restricted. He

01:35:56 --> 01:35:58

doesn't have freedom to do the right thing.

01:35:58 --> 01:36:00

I have to do whatever they wanted to

01:36:00 --> 01:36:00

do.

01:36:01 --> 01:36:03

No. Your job is to supervise

01:36:04 --> 01:36:05

and to make sure that they are doing

01:36:05 --> 01:36:07

things in the right way. That's it.

01:36:09 --> 01:36:09

In how

01:36:10 --> 01:36:11

in a house,

01:36:12 --> 01:36:14

freedom should be more than

01:36:14 --> 01:36:15

more than restriction.

01:36:16 --> 01:36:19

K? Freedom should be more than the restriction.

01:36:21 --> 01:36:22

That's why they ask

01:36:23 --> 01:36:24

the Aqil,

01:36:29 --> 01:36:30

Who is the Aqil?

01:36:31 --> 01:36:31

The smart

01:36:32 --> 01:36:34

person. He says, Al Fatin Al Mutargabi.

01:36:36 --> 01:36:38

This is a person who has aqal,

01:36:39 --> 01:36:40

very serious

01:36:40 --> 01:36:42

in whatever he does, but at the same

01:36:42 --> 01:36:43

time, al Mutagafi.

01:36:44 --> 01:36:45

What is Mutagafi?

01:36:45 --> 01:36:48

Mutarafil. Somebody who overlooks a lot.

01:36:49 --> 01:36:50

Yeah. Somebody who overlooks

01:36:51 --> 01:36:51

a lot.

01:36:52 --> 01:36:53

So you follow-up.

01:36:53 --> 01:36:56

You know? But you overlook a lot. Let

01:36:56 --> 01:36:59

the kids enjoy freedom in the house. In

01:36:59 --> 01:37:01

some of these houses of ours,

01:37:02 --> 01:37:02

subhanallah,

01:37:03 --> 01:37:05

even how to eat food,

01:37:05 --> 01:37:08

the mother controls. The father controls.

01:37:09 --> 01:37:11

How to sit, how to do this. Yes,

01:37:11 --> 01:37:13

we teach them the way the prophet was

01:37:14 --> 01:37:15

teaching.

01:37:15 --> 01:37:18

But trust me in some places is we

01:37:18 --> 01:37:19

too much exaggerate.

01:37:21 --> 01:37:22

We monitor.

01:37:23 --> 01:37:25

No. There must be,

01:37:26 --> 01:37:26

you know,

01:37:26 --> 01:37:27

what do you call?

01:37:28 --> 01:37:29

Sitting, you know,

01:37:30 --> 01:37:30

between,

01:37:30 --> 01:37:32

the family, you know, when it comes to

01:37:32 --> 01:37:34

eat. That's why I suggest

01:37:34 --> 01:37:38

no eating outside unless on the occasional basis.

01:37:39 --> 01:37:41

I know nowadays, it's very difficult for us

01:37:41 --> 01:37:45

to adopt this life. But question, when do

01:37:45 --> 01:37:46

I have, when is the best time for

01:37:46 --> 01:37:47

me to instill

01:37:48 --> 01:37:49

values on my kids?

01:37:50 --> 01:37:52

Trust me, during food time.

01:37:53 --> 01:37:55

Because everyone is there and everyone's consciousness is

01:37:55 --> 01:37:55

here.

01:37:56 --> 01:37:58

That's the time for a joke.

01:37:58 --> 01:38:00

You know, that's the time we jokes. That's

01:38:00 --> 01:38:02

the time we play. That's the time we

01:38:02 --> 01:38:04

laugh. You know, that's how it's supposed to

01:38:04 --> 01:38:05

be. You know,

01:38:06 --> 01:38:08

Food is there. And you are feeding the

01:38:08 --> 01:38:11

food eating with virtues. In the best way.

01:38:11 --> 01:38:13

Yeah. In the best way.

01:38:14 --> 01:38:16

But subhanallah, the kids don't want to eat

01:38:16 --> 01:38:17

with the parent.

01:38:18 --> 01:38:19

You know why?

01:38:20 --> 01:38:21

It's very simple.

01:38:21 --> 01:38:23

Because my eyes is on my kids.

01:38:24 --> 01:38:26

He touched this place I talk. Touch this

01:38:26 --> 01:38:28

place I talk. Why do you eat this?

01:38:28 --> 01:38:30

You're not eating slowly. You're eating very fast.

01:38:30 --> 01:38:31

You're eating this.

01:38:32 --> 01:38:34

The kid will be traumatized tomorrow. The next

01:38:34 --> 01:38:35

time when I call him, you know, he

01:38:35 --> 01:38:37

doesn't want. If he can find any alternative

01:38:37 --> 01:38:39

outside, he will eat.

01:38:39 --> 01:38:40

Why the child will tell me I don't

01:38:40 --> 01:38:42

have interest in eating and he does not

01:38:42 --> 01:38:43

eat anything?

01:38:43 --> 01:38:45

Yeah. Because he knows that he's going to

01:38:45 --> 01:38:47

get into into trouble when he sit with

01:38:47 --> 01:38:47

us.

01:38:48 --> 01:38:51

We can't keep quiet. We're too much focus

01:38:51 --> 01:38:52

on what they are doing.

01:38:53 --> 01:38:55

The best and the ideal way of eating

01:38:55 --> 01:38:56

with the family

01:38:56 --> 01:38:57

is that when you eat,

01:38:58 --> 01:38:59

the mother should

01:38:59 --> 01:39:00

focus on her food.

01:39:01 --> 01:39:04

And the father should focus on his food.

01:39:04 --> 01:39:06

What is between you and the children is

01:39:07 --> 01:39:07

jokes.

01:39:07 --> 01:39:08

Yeah.

01:39:09 --> 01:39:12

Maybe sometimes when you see something wrong, just

01:39:12 --> 01:39:13

make some jokes.

01:39:15 --> 01:39:17

You get it? You get it? Yeah.

01:39:18 --> 01:39:20

I personally what I did when we are

01:39:20 --> 01:39:21

with the kids, when they do something which

01:39:21 --> 01:39:23

is un Islamic, I bring one of these

01:39:23 --> 01:39:25

losers among the worst kuffar.

01:39:26 --> 01:39:27

I said, do you want to be like

01:39:27 --> 01:39:28

this? They will smile and say, no. No.

01:39:28 --> 01:39:29

No. We don't want to be like that.

01:39:29 --> 01:39:31

They already understand what I meant. They quickly

01:39:31 --> 01:39:33

fix it and come back to the correct

01:39:33 --> 01:39:33

one.

01:39:33 --> 01:39:36

Yeah. Rather than shouting, you know, scolding the

01:39:36 --> 01:39:36

child,

01:39:37 --> 01:39:39

getting angry, messing up his interest, but we

01:39:39 --> 01:39:41

shouldn't do that. Trust me, my dear brother,

01:39:41 --> 01:39:44

sister, there's a very good and excellent opportunity

01:39:44 --> 01:39:45

we we have

01:39:46 --> 01:39:48

as a family owner, as a father, as

01:39:48 --> 01:39:50

a mother, to train our kids. But unfortunately,

01:39:50 --> 01:39:52

it has been replaced by

01:39:53 --> 01:39:54

by the junk food outside.

01:39:56 --> 01:39:58

Yeah. We have no time to sit with

01:39:58 --> 01:40:00

with the family, but this is really, really

01:40:00 --> 01:40:02

important, to be fixed. That's why

01:40:03 --> 01:40:05

the mother should be patient and cook at

01:40:05 --> 01:40:05

home.

01:40:06 --> 01:40:09

Yeah. If you happen to buy food outside,

01:40:10 --> 01:40:12

get the food to the house and sit

01:40:12 --> 01:40:13

all together and eat

01:40:14 --> 01:40:15

rather than eating outside.

01:40:16 --> 01:40:18

Because outside you will not be able to

01:40:18 --> 01:40:18

educate.

01:40:19 --> 01:40:21

You will not be able to enjoy that

01:40:21 --> 01:40:22

meal in the way it should be done.

01:40:22 --> 01:40:24

At home, nobody is there. You sit the

01:40:24 --> 01:40:25

way you want, of course, according to the

01:40:25 --> 01:40:28

sunnah. The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, you

01:40:28 --> 01:40:28

educate,

01:40:29 --> 01:40:31

you instill the manners and the virtues,

01:40:31 --> 01:40:33

you know, to the child. The prophet told

01:40:35 --> 01:40:36

he says,

01:40:39 --> 01:40:41

Subhan Allah. He said Samuel, this is a

01:40:41 --> 01:40:42

young boy. He said Samuel.

01:40:45 --> 01:40:47

Wakunbi Aminik Okulmi Malik.

01:40:48 --> 01:40:49

He said, save Ismila.

01:40:50 --> 01:40:52

If my child is eating outside,

01:40:53 --> 01:40:54

how do I know how is he eating

01:40:54 --> 01:40:56

you? Is he eating correctly or not?

01:40:57 --> 01:40:59

Again, but if we eat together at home,

01:40:59 --> 01:41:01

I can see him not saying Bismillah. And

01:41:01 --> 01:41:03

sometimes funny things happens, and these are good,

01:41:03 --> 01:41:05

you know, Allah, I take them as very

01:41:05 --> 01:41:06

good.

01:41:07 --> 01:41:09

Because the boy or the girl

01:41:09 --> 01:41:10

will just

01:41:10 --> 01:41:12

after, you know,

01:41:12 --> 01:41:14

a while, you know, people are eating and

01:41:14 --> 01:41:16

then the boy will, one of them will

01:41:16 --> 01:41:18

say, who did not say Bismillah?

01:41:19 --> 01:41:20

And then the rest say, oh, Bismillah,

01:41:22 --> 01:41:25

it's good because that's mean somebody is

01:41:26 --> 01:41:26

conscious.

01:41:27 --> 01:41:29

Do you get it? That moment will never

01:41:29 --> 01:41:29

be forgotten.

01:41:30 --> 01:41:32

They do the job on on your behalf.

01:41:32 --> 01:41:33

So the prophet

01:41:33 --> 01:41:33

told him

01:41:35 --> 01:41:37

if he was eating outside, doesn't eat at

01:41:37 --> 01:41:40

home. How how can the prophet knows how

01:41:40 --> 01:41:42

this boy is eating food? He said mention

01:41:42 --> 01:41:43

the name of Allah

01:41:44 --> 01:41:46

and eat with your right hand. And eat

01:41:46 --> 01:41:48

from that which is in front of you.

01:41:49 --> 01:41:49

Values

01:41:50 --> 01:41:53

given to a child at that younger age,

01:41:53 --> 01:41:56

which many of us don't agree with, If

01:41:56 --> 01:41:58

I'm to give my children this kind of

01:41:58 --> 01:42:00

at this age, people will tell me, no,

01:42:00 --> 01:42:03

this is exaggeration, restricting their freedom. But the

01:42:03 --> 01:42:06

prophet was not was not like that. So

01:42:06 --> 01:42:06

I follow-up.

01:42:07 --> 01:42:08

I supervise

01:42:08 --> 01:42:10

that I should do it with wisdom, with

01:42:10 --> 01:42:10

love.

01:42:11 --> 01:42:14

Friendly one. The one that will always bring

01:42:14 --> 01:42:15

my child next to me.

01:42:15 --> 01:42:18

Yeah? That's why don't put restriction on food.

01:42:19 --> 01:42:21

Put restriction on the type of food the

01:42:21 --> 01:42:22

child is eating.

01:42:23 --> 01:42:25

And put restriction on the quantity of the

01:42:25 --> 01:42:27

food the child is eating.

01:42:27 --> 01:42:30

In some houses, whatever the boy touches,

01:42:32 --> 01:42:35

the father will say, yes or no? No.

01:42:35 --> 01:42:38

Whatever he touched, no. Everything, no.

01:42:38 --> 01:42:40

So if he's not given a good terbia,

01:42:41 --> 01:42:43

what is he going to be doing? Taking

01:42:43 --> 01:42:45

the food in in secret.

01:42:45 --> 01:42:48

You have people at home and they're the

01:42:48 --> 01:42:50

only one in the house and something is

01:42:50 --> 01:42:50

missing,

01:42:51 --> 01:42:53

and you're asking people, who does that?

01:42:53 --> 01:42:55

Nobody is saying, everyone is saying not me,

01:42:55 --> 01:42:57

not me, not me, not me. So who

01:42:57 --> 01:42:58

does it?

01:42:59 --> 01:43:01

One of the 2 things. Either the parent

01:43:01 --> 01:43:03

did it by themselves and they forgot or

01:43:03 --> 01:43:04

we have

01:43:05 --> 01:43:07

other partners living with us in the house.

01:43:07 --> 01:43:09

Who are they? The hidden one, the share

01:43:09 --> 01:43:11

team, they also come to take their portions.

01:43:13 --> 01:43:14

And the question,

01:43:14 --> 01:43:16

why is the child lying?

01:43:17 --> 01:43:19

You get it? Now, what are they doing?

01:43:20 --> 01:43:21

They are lying to us, right? Why are

01:43:21 --> 01:43:22

they lying?

01:43:23 --> 01:43:24

Why do you think they lie?

01:43:26 --> 01:43:29

Because they are are afraid of being rejected

01:43:29 --> 01:43:30

and punished.

01:43:31 --> 01:43:32

That's why they lie.

01:43:33 --> 01:43:34

Because they are afraid of being rejected

01:43:35 --> 01:43:37

or being punished.

01:43:37 --> 01:43:38

And this is one of the things we

01:43:38 --> 01:43:41

learn from the terbiya of Muhammad sallallahu sallallahu.

01:43:50 --> 01:43:52

You have no any other choice.

01:43:55 --> 01:43:57

You have no any other choice except to

01:43:57 --> 01:43:58

adopt the manhaji of Rasulullah

01:43:59 --> 01:43:59

in Terbia.

01:44:00 --> 01:44:02

No any other choice. You want to succeed

01:44:02 --> 01:44:03

and his Talbia. You know the good thing

01:44:03 --> 01:44:04

about the Talbia of Rasulullah?

01:44:05 --> 01:44:08

It fits every time until the day of

01:44:08 --> 01:44:08

judgement.

01:44:10 --> 01:44:12

It fits every time until the day of

01:44:12 --> 01:44:13

judgement.

01:44:15 --> 01:44:16

Some parents, they live

01:44:17 --> 01:44:18

with their children,

01:44:19 --> 01:44:20

but their children are depressed.

01:44:21 --> 01:44:22

Trust me by their,

01:44:23 --> 01:44:23

friends.

01:44:24 --> 01:44:26

Some of some of the parents, they live

01:44:26 --> 01:44:27

with their kids. If you ask them, oh,

01:44:27 --> 01:44:29

masha'Allah, my kids are happy and

01:44:30 --> 01:44:31

or why they're not?

01:44:33 --> 01:44:34

The kids are depressed

01:44:34 --> 01:44:36

because of the too much pressure we have

01:44:36 --> 01:44:39

in the house, and there is no room

01:44:39 --> 01:44:40

for expression

01:44:40 --> 01:44:41

expressing their own,

01:44:42 --> 01:44:43

you know, feelings.

01:44:44 --> 01:44:46

That's why my child cannot come and tell

01:44:46 --> 01:44:47

me his problems.

01:44:48 --> 01:44:49

Because he knows when he approach me, I'm

01:44:49 --> 01:44:51

going to open a lecture for him.

01:44:52 --> 01:44:54

School. How you do this? How would it

01:44:54 --> 01:44:57

so they they share their secrets, you know,

01:44:57 --> 01:44:59

and their difficulties with their friend, but not

01:44:59 --> 01:45:00

with the parent.

01:45:00 --> 01:45:02

And this is very dangerous.

01:45:03 --> 01:45:05

Because friends will advise them according to

01:45:06 --> 01:45:07

whatever

01:45:07 --> 01:45:09

they believe in a suit them in the

01:45:09 --> 01:45:11

right, wrong way, no problem. But you as

01:45:11 --> 01:45:14

a father, you should always advise him according

01:45:14 --> 01:45:15

to what benefits him. But

01:45:16 --> 01:45:18

you already have that barrier between you and

01:45:18 --> 01:45:19

and him. They don't want to come to

01:45:19 --> 01:45:20

you.

01:45:20 --> 01:45:22

Why? Because they know when they come to

01:45:22 --> 01:45:25

you, you have nothing except blame and Moaheed.

01:45:26 --> 01:45:29

Nobody will appreciate this. Nobody will be happy

01:45:29 --> 01:45:30

with this. So was

01:45:31 --> 01:45:32

not like that.

01:45:32 --> 01:45:33

You know, children when they come to the

01:45:33 --> 01:45:34

prophet

01:45:34 --> 01:45:37

those in his house, they have an absolute

01:45:37 --> 01:45:37

freedom.

01:45:38 --> 01:45:39

Anas ibn Malik said,

01:45:40 --> 01:45:42

he never told me why.

01:45:42 --> 01:45:45

Can you imagine a terbir like this? Rasulullah

01:45:45 --> 01:45:47

never told him why did he do this?

01:45:47 --> 01:45:49

Or why didn't he do this?

01:45:52 --> 01:45:54

Then who is blaming others at home?

01:45:56 --> 01:45:58

The sisters at home, right? The wives.

01:45:59 --> 01:46:01

So when Alice did something wrong,

01:46:02 --> 01:46:02

the

01:46:04 --> 01:46:06

the the sisters at home, the wives will

01:46:07 --> 01:46:08

be shouting at them.

01:46:09 --> 01:46:11

As usual. The prophet

01:46:11 --> 01:46:12

if he is there,

01:46:12 --> 01:46:15

what he usually tell them, why? Why the

01:46:15 --> 01:46:15

blame?

01:46:18 --> 01:46:18

Allah.

01:46:19 --> 01:46:21

He says whatever Allah swore to decree it

01:46:21 --> 01:46:22

is exactly what happened.

01:46:24 --> 01:46:25

Subhan Allah.

01:46:27 --> 01:46:29

You know, if I teach my son this,

01:46:29 --> 01:46:32

teach my daughter this, you know, all that

01:46:32 --> 01:46:34

you need from them is to feel that

01:46:34 --> 01:46:36

they're wrong in what they're doing.

01:46:38 --> 01:46:40

You are done. You don't need to shout.

01:46:40 --> 01:46:41

You don't need to do anything.

01:46:44 --> 01:46:45

Somebody at home today

01:46:46 --> 01:46:47

have a small table.

01:46:47 --> 01:46:49

Just like that, they decided to climb on

01:46:49 --> 01:46:50

it

01:46:50 --> 01:46:52

and fellas it get destroyed.

01:46:54 --> 01:46:55

So I told them,

01:46:56 --> 01:46:58

oh, now you destroy the thing.

01:46:59 --> 01:47:01

I'm very sorry. Are you angry? I said

01:47:01 --> 01:47:03

no. But the owner of the table is

01:47:03 --> 01:47:04

the mother. I was scared, actually.

01:47:05 --> 01:47:06

She goes she's

01:47:07 --> 01:47:09

gone. The gibi is called it, but alhamdulillah,

01:47:09 --> 01:47:10

they did the right thing.

01:47:10 --> 01:47:12

They told them it's okay. They come back

01:47:12 --> 01:47:14

to me, okay. Alhamdulillah, they forgive.

01:47:14 --> 01:47:15

Yeah. The case closed.

01:47:16 --> 01:47:18

Do you understand that this is wrong? Yes.

01:47:18 --> 01:47:20

And then we close the page. You Allah,

01:47:20 --> 01:47:22

this is what we learn from the prophet

01:47:23 --> 01:47:25

I don't expect them to do the same

01:47:25 --> 01:47:27

mistake in the future. This is my personal

01:47:27 --> 01:47:28

experience.

01:47:28 --> 01:47:30

When you forgive in this way, you close

01:47:30 --> 01:47:32

the page and come and cooperate with the

01:47:32 --> 01:47:34

child to fix that mess which they did

01:47:34 --> 01:47:35

by themselves

01:47:35 --> 01:47:38

and told them this is being irresponsible.

01:47:39 --> 01:47:41

But try to be smart. And laugh

01:47:41 --> 01:47:43

and smile to them and don't show angry

01:47:43 --> 01:47:46

face. And don't change your behavior.

01:47:47 --> 01:47:49

What is going on in the house, don't

01:47:49 --> 01:47:51

change it because of this attitude.

01:47:51 --> 01:47:54

Trust me, they will always speak the truth

01:47:54 --> 01:47:55

when they meet you.

01:47:56 --> 01:47:58

That's why the scholars of Telbia said, your

01:47:58 --> 01:48:00

child is lying to you because he's afraid

01:48:00 --> 01:48:01

of being punished.

01:48:02 --> 01:48:04

But if he has the peace,

01:48:04 --> 01:48:05

that you are not going to punish him.

01:48:06 --> 01:48:08

Trust me, they tell you things which you

01:48:08 --> 01:48:10

are not there, they happen in your absence.

01:48:11 --> 01:48:12

And you don't look for it, but they

01:48:12 --> 01:48:14

tell you, and they will apologize to you.

01:48:15 --> 01:48:16

That's what

01:48:16 --> 01:48:19

my experience led me to to see in

01:48:19 --> 01:48:20

giving terabirah to the family. And this is

01:48:20 --> 01:48:22

what we learn from Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa

01:48:22 --> 01:48:24

sallam. And I said, Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa

01:48:24 --> 01:48:25

sallam never told me why.

01:48:26 --> 01:48:28

If somebody blamed me, he will tell them,

01:48:28 --> 01:48:30

this is qadr of Allah subhanahu wa sallam.

01:48:30 --> 01:48:32

But at the same time don't forget, Rasulullah

01:48:32 --> 01:48:35

Sallalla Sallam does not tolerate mistake without

01:48:35 --> 01:48:36

correction.

01:48:36 --> 01:48:39

He will correct it in the good way.

01:48:39 --> 01:48:41

Right? If you see him correcting the bedwins,

01:48:42 --> 01:48:44

then you will understand what kind of correction

01:48:44 --> 01:48:46

and a method the prophet will be taking

01:48:47 --> 01:48:49

in the family, right? Somebody came who is

01:48:49 --> 01:48:51

a stranger and did something wrong, very bad

01:48:51 --> 01:48:54

thing, but the prophet addressed the matter in

01:48:54 --> 01:48:56

a very unique way. So you can understand

01:48:56 --> 01:48:58

the kids at home who are innocent.

01:48:58 --> 01:49:00

But this is part of their life, to

01:49:00 --> 01:49:01

do experiments.

01:49:02 --> 01:49:04

You know, sometimes intentionally the child will come

01:49:05 --> 01:49:06

on, destroy something.

01:49:06 --> 01:49:07

He's doing experiment

01:49:08 --> 01:49:09

to see what will happen.

01:49:10 --> 01:49:12

If he's called him, you're losing the child.

01:49:12 --> 01:49:15

So the best is to let them come

01:49:15 --> 01:49:17

closer and to become friend of you to

01:49:17 --> 01:49:21

avoid them lying to you in in the

01:49:21 --> 01:49:23

future. Yeah. If you're leaning to yourself to

01:49:23 --> 01:49:25

your gentle, somebody who

01:49:26 --> 01:49:29

is accommodating others. Others here are referring to

01:49:29 --> 01:49:31

your kids. Be eating like the other. They

01:49:31 --> 01:49:32

will not lie to you.

01:49:33 --> 01:49:35

The next quality is Alhazm. I think Alhazm

01:49:36 --> 01:49:37

we have already discusses.

01:49:37 --> 01:49:40

You know, being serious serious in in your

01:49:40 --> 01:49:41

term here.

01:49:41 --> 01:49:43

When we say being serious, it's not to

01:49:43 --> 01:49:45

be acting as a monster.

01:49:45 --> 01:49:47

That's why I suggest

01:49:47 --> 01:49:51

try your best to avoid hitting a child.

01:49:52 --> 01:49:53

Yeah.

01:49:54 --> 01:49:55

And don't you ever say

01:49:56 --> 01:49:56

that,

01:49:57 --> 01:49:59

oh, our parent beat us, you know.

01:50:00 --> 01:50:02

Yeah. Why can't we do the same thing?

01:50:02 --> 01:50:02

No.

01:50:04 --> 01:50:05

That just happened

01:50:05 --> 01:50:06

in in Alhamdulillah.

01:50:08 --> 01:50:08

Alhamdulillah.

01:50:09 --> 01:50:10

It works.

01:50:10 --> 01:50:13

In its own way. Okay? I don't call

01:50:13 --> 01:50:14

it a failure and I don't call it

01:50:14 --> 01:50:16

a success. But it works.

01:50:16 --> 01:50:18

In the past, the kind of turbia we

01:50:18 --> 01:50:20

received, it doesn't fit our children at

01:50:21 --> 01:50:24

all. Yeah. Why? Because in that environment, everyone

01:50:24 --> 01:50:25

is like that.

01:50:26 --> 01:50:26

You get

01:50:27 --> 01:50:29

it? Your mother beats you, your father beats

01:50:29 --> 01:50:30

you, when you go

01:50:31 --> 01:50:33

when, when, when you go out, your friends

01:50:33 --> 01:50:36

also, the same thing. Nobody is discussing this

01:50:36 --> 01:50:36

matter.

01:50:37 --> 01:50:38

Because everyone is on the same page.

01:50:39 --> 01:50:41

Yeah, so you are not afraid of your

01:50:41 --> 01:50:44

child getting any negative influences by the friends

01:50:44 --> 01:50:47

because of you touching him. That was in

01:50:47 --> 01:50:50

the in the past. Nowadays, is it like

01:50:50 --> 01:50:51

that? No, it's not.

01:50:52 --> 01:50:54

The kind of environment, the kind of life

01:50:54 --> 01:50:56

we are living, it changed.

01:50:57 --> 01:50:58

That terbia was strong.

01:51:00 --> 01:51:02

Alhamdulillah Allah saved many of us. But that

01:51:02 --> 01:51:04

terbia was wrong. You are not supposed to

01:51:04 --> 01:51:05

repeat this.

01:51:05 --> 01:51:07

I'm saying this because

01:51:07 --> 01:51:10

many of us are repeating the terbia of

01:51:10 --> 01:51:10

their parent.

01:51:11 --> 01:51:13

Which they nowadays, if they look at it,

01:51:13 --> 01:51:15

they consider it as a failure.

01:51:17 --> 01:51:17

As a failure

01:51:18 --> 01:51:21

I was listening to a lecture on Terbia

01:51:22 --> 01:51:25

very good lecture by one of these

01:51:26 --> 01:51:28

scholars who are very concerned of

01:51:28 --> 01:51:29

this matter.

01:51:30 --> 01:51:32

He was saying that a person came to

01:51:32 --> 01:51:33

him one day,

01:51:35 --> 01:51:36

He's a karate

01:51:39 --> 01:51:39

trader.

01:51:40 --> 01:51:40

Yeah.

01:51:40 --> 01:51:42

You know, these these people, their their life

01:51:42 --> 01:51:45

is very rough, you know. You see, this

01:51:45 --> 01:51:46

person when he's,

01:51:46 --> 01:51:47

in

01:51:47 --> 01:51:49

smack, don't touch your face, but when he

01:51:49 --> 01:51:51

move his hand like this,

01:51:51 --> 01:51:53

okay, this is just the Sheikh mentioned in

01:51:53 --> 01:51:55

his own expression. He said you you feel

01:51:55 --> 01:51:56

that the air is going to

01:51:57 --> 01:51:59

kick you down, you know.

01:51:59 --> 01:52:01

And he says the person is really really

01:52:01 --> 01:52:02

built up.

01:52:03 --> 01:52:05

So he told, he said

01:52:06 --> 01:52:08

the the man told me Sheikh. Yeah.

01:52:09 --> 01:52:10

The Sheikh is psychologist.

01:52:12 --> 01:52:12

The good one.

01:52:13 --> 01:52:14

So

01:52:15 --> 01:52:16

why are you

01:52:16 --> 01:52:16

laughing?

01:52:17 --> 01:52:18

So so he

01:52:19 --> 01:52:19

he

01:52:20 --> 01:52:22

he said this man told me, he said,

01:52:22 --> 01:52:23

Sheikh, I need your advice.

01:52:25 --> 01:52:27

I asked him, what is your problem? He

01:52:27 --> 01:52:28

said, my children,

01:52:32 --> 01:52:33

He said my children, they are from the

01:52:33 --> 01:52:34

descendants of Shati.

01:52:35 --> 01:52:37

He said, I said, what? What do you

01:52:37 --> 01:52:39

mean? They are the children of Shati? Because

01:52:39 --> 01:52:41

if this is true, who is he?

01:52:43 --> 01:52:45

Right? Because if they are his children, he

01:52:45 --> 01:52:47

said, my kids, they are descendants from this.

01:52:48 --> 01:52:49

He said, I told him,

01:52:50 --> 01:52:52

why do you call them descendants of Shelton?

01:52:53 --> 01:52:55

He said, Sheikh, don't rush. Let me tell

01:52:55 --> 01:52:56

you who they are. He said, yeah, Sheikh,

01:52:56 --> 01:52:58

trust me. In my house, I don't have

01:52:58 --> 01:52:59

curtains in the house.

01:53:01 --> 01:53:03

I want, you know, think of putting, I

01:53:03 --> 01:53:05

put, the, the, the curtain did not spend

01:53:05 --> 01:53:06

a day.

01:53:06 --> 01:53:08

They brought them down.

01:53:08 --> 01:53:10

He said we sleep on a metal, no

01:53:10 --> 01:53:10

mattresses.

01:53:11 --> 01:53:13

They destroy them. Our chairs, the couches, they

01:53:13 --> 01:53:15

don't have things like this. They have to

01:53:15 --> 01:53:18

bring a metal chair to sit. That's the

01:53:18 --> 01:53:20

only thing that works. He said yes Sheikh,

01:53:20 --> 01:53:21

if

01:53:22 --> 01:53:23

I keep them at home when I come,

01:53:23 --> 01:53:25

I will come and see them, they fought

01:53:25 --> 01:53:27

each other, scratch themselves, you know.

01:53:28 --> 01:53:29

He said, yeah, Sheikh, the only thing I

01:53:29 --> 01:53:31

have is to send them out. Maybe they

01:53:31 --> 01:53:33

mix with other people.

01:53:33 --> 01:53:35

He said whenever they see a child, they

01:53:35 --> 01:53:36

beat that child.

01:53:37 --> 01:53:39

If they couldn't find a child, whatever car

01:53:39 --> 01:53:41

passes through them, they throw stone on on

01:53:41 --> 01:53:43

the child. They spit on the people who

01:53:43 --> 01:53:45

are who are passing. He said I remember

01:53:45 --> 01:53:47

one day I took them to the house

01:53:47 --> 01:53:48

of the neighbors.

01:53:48 --> 01:53:50

He said I I I asked some to

01:53:50 --> 01:53:53

be law that I will never take them

01:53:53 --> 01:53:55

to any house. They broke things in that

01:53:55 --> 01:53:57

house. They removed the curtains. They removed everything.

01:53:57 --> 01:53:58

They want his house also to be like

01:53:58 --> 01:54:01

ours. Right? And they come and see me

01:54:01 --> 01:54:03

talking to the the host.

01:54:03 --> 01:54:05

They couldn't see anything to do to the

01:54:05 --> 01:54:07

to the host. They look at the jug,

01:54:07 --> 01:54:09

the jug of the juice, they took it

01:54:09 --> 01:54:11

and broke it on his head.

01:54:13 --> 01:54:13

He said,

01:54:14 --> 01:54:16

the sheikh said, I started to think, yeah,

01:54:18 --> 01:54:20

definitely, yeah, not immensely shutting, but

01:54:21 --> 01:54:23

something wrong is taking place. So then he

01:54:23 --> 01:54:24

said I asked

01:54:25 --> 01:54:26

I asked him.

01:54:27 --> 01:54:28

I said do you

01:54:29 --> 01:54:31

discipline them when they do something wrong? He

01:54:31 --> 01:54:32

said, yes.

01:54:33 --> 01:54:35

I did, I I do my Sheikh. He

01:54:35 --> 01:54:37

said, what do you do? He said, I

01:54:37 --> 01:54:38

beat them a little.

01:54:39 --> 01:54:41

Sheikh said, Ola, when he says little, I

01:54:41 --> 01:54:43

thought he's slapping them because his

01:54:43 --> 01:54:45

smoking is more than enough for me, not

01:54:45 --> 01:54:46

the kids.

01:54:46 --> 01:54:48

He said, no, I, I, I hit them

01:54:48 --> 01:54:49

a little.

01:54:50 --> 01:54:51

So he said, what do you, how do

01:54:51 --> 01:54:52

you, how do you please explain to me,

01:54:52 --> 01:54:54

how do you do? He said,

01:54:54 --> 01:54:57

I just beat them with, silky biology. You

01:54:57 --> 01:55:00

know, the the clusters met the the wire

01:55:00 --> 01:55:00

that we

01:55:01 --> 01:55:04

there's one small tiny wire, a bit thick,

01:55:04 --> 01:55:07

very painful when somebody hit you with it.

01:55:07 --> 01:55:08

He said, this is what I hit them

01:55:08 --> 01:55:10

with when they make a mistake. This is

01:55:10 --> 01:55:11

what he called,

01:55:11 --> 01:55:13

I just hit them a little.

01:55:14 --> 01:55:16

So the sheikh said, you beat them with

01:55:16 --> 01:55:17

this and you call your house the house

01:55:17 --> 01:55:18

of Tervia.

01:55:19 --> 01:55:21

He said, no, yeah, Sheikh. Actually, I I

01:55:21 --> 01:55:23

was calling it a little because our father

01:55:24 --> 01:55:26

doesn't do this, he goes beyond that. When

01:55:26 --> 01:55:27

we did something wrong,

01:55:28 --> 01:55:30

he will take off our cloth and hang

01:55:30 --> 01:55:31

us upside down

01:55:32 --> 01:55:32

on something.

01:55:33 --> 01:55:35

Yeah. He says, and then he will come

01:55:35 --> 01:55:37

with the stick, whatever, and beat us like

01:55:37 --> 01:55:38

this. The leg is up and we are

01:55:38 --> 01:55:40

like that. It's just like what you do

01:55:40 --> 01:55:41

with the sheep when you

01:55:43 --> 01:55:46

So, the sheikh asked him, this is the

01:55:46 --> 01:55:47

the end of this story.

01:55:48 --> 01:55:50

And also inshallah you understand why I brought

01:55:50 --> 01:55:51

it.

01:55:51 --> 01:55:52

He said I asked

01:55:53 --> 01:55:55

him, how many siblings do you have? He

01:55:55 --> 01:55:56

said 3.

01:55:56 --> 01:55:57

We are 4 altogether.

01:55:58 --> 01:56:00

He said, let me

01:56:01 --> 01:56:02

just assume

01:56:02 --> 01:56:05

that your father is writing an examination and

01:56:05 --> 01:56:06

he has 4 questions.

01:56:07 --> 01:56:09

Right? He said, you guys have 4. He

01:56:09 --> 01:56:11

said if you don't mind, please tell me

01:56:11 --> 01:56:14

the nature of your siblings. Who are they?

01:56:15 --> 01:56:17

He says Sheikh, just because you asked me

01:56:17 --> 01:56:18

to speak the truth,

01:56:19 --> 01:56:21

there's the only reason why I will not

01:56:21 --> 01:56:22

lie.

01:56:23 --> 01:56:23

And he said,

01:56:24 --> 01:56:25

the first one Sheikh,

01:56:25 --> 01:56:28

he is busy with gambling. His life is

01:56:28 --> 01:56:29

all about gambling.

01:56:29 --> 01:56:32

And the the first one is dealing with

01:56:32 --> 01:56:32

homosexuality.

01:56:34 --> 01:56:36

And the third one is,

01:56:39 --> 01:56:41

drugs and wine and this.

01:56:42 --> 01:56:45

He says, Sheikh, I'm the only one that

01:56:45 --> 01:56:45

is like this.

01:56:46 --> 01:56:48

So, Sheikh said, let

01:56:49 --> 01:56:50

me assume

01:56:50 --> 01:56:52

that you, your is okay. You know, I

01:56:52 --> 01:56:54

will, I, not happy with this terbia that

01:56:54 --> 01:56:56

you have, but let me assume that you

01:56:56 --> 01:56:56

are okay.

01:56:58 --> 01:56:59

What grade

01:57:00 --> 01:57:01

are you going to

01:57:02 --> 01:57:04

give the father after the examination?

01:57:04 --> 01:57:05

How much you got?

01:57:06 --> 01:57:07

Out of 100.

01:57:07 --> 01:57:10

Four questions, every each question has 25. How

01:57:10 --> 01:57:11

much you got?

01:57:11 --> 01:57:12

25.

01:57:12 --> 01:57:14

I think in every

01:57:14 --> 01:57:16

university and school this is?

01:57:17 --> 01:57:17

F.

01:57:19 --> 01:57:19

Yeah.

01:57:20 --> 01:57:22

And here comes the importance of this simple

01:57:22 --> 01:57:23

story.

01:57:23 --> 01:57:25

He said he said, my brother,

01:57:26 --> 01:57:28

you believe that your father failed in his

01:57:28 --> 01:57:29

terbia.

01:57:30 --> 01:57:32

Why are you repeating the same thing your

01:57:32 --> 01:57:33

father did

01:57:33 --> 01:57:34

when he was giving

01:57:35 --> 01:57:36

the to you guys, which you believe it

01:57:36 --> 01:57:38

is wrong, and you're repeating the same thing.

01:57:38 --> 01:57:40

And you want your kids to,

01:57:41 --> 01:57:42

to be okay.

01:57:43 --> 01:57:44

That's the reason why I said,

01:57:45 --> 01:57:45

you can't

01:57:46 --> 01:57:49

imitate your parent if the method used by

01:57:49 --> 01:57:50

the parent is is wrong.

01:57:51 --> 01:57:54

That's the reason why I advise every one

01:57:54 --> 01:57:55

of you, the father and the mother,

01:57:55 --> 01:57:57

do not hit your child.

01:57:58 --> 01:58:00

Unless if it is very necessary.

01:58:00 --> 01:58:03

Very necessary. And trust me my dear brothers

01:58:03 --> 01:58:05

and sisters, if you're doing things correctly in

01:58:05 --> 01:58:06

the way Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi wa sama used

01:58:06 --> 01:58:08

to do them, tarbia would help they call

01:58:08 --> 01:58:11

it. You know, friendly terbia. Even

01:58:12 --> 01:58:14

you will never need to raise up your

01:58:14 --> 01:58:16

hand against your child.

01:58:17 --> 01:58:19

Trust me my Deborah and sisters, it is

01:58:19 --> 01:58:21

not cool. Sometimes we beat them until the

01:58:21 --> 01:58:23

time we are satisfied. It's like you are

01:58:23 --> 01:58:24

taking revenge.

01:58:24 --> 01:58:27

Wallahi, this is a very shameful thing to

01:58:27 --> 01:58:28

be done with our kids.

01:58:29 --> 01:58:31

Why would you take revenge revenge against your

01:58:31 --> 01:58:32

child?

01:58:32 --> 01:58:33

Why?

01:58:33 --> 01:58:33

Why?

01:58:34 --> 01:58:36

You will love. This is lack of thinking.

01:58:36 --> 01:58:39

Lack of proper thinking for me to beat

01:58:39 --> 01:58:40

my child.

01:58:40 --> 01:58:42

Just because I want to teach him a

01:58:42 --> 01:58:44

lesson. No. You don't need this lesson to

01:58:44 --> 01:58:44

be

01:58:46 --> 01:58:47

taught. That's why if you do the right

01:58:47 --> 01:58:49

thing, you do your job, you handle your

01:58:49 --> 01:58:50

responsibility

01:58:50 --> 01:58:53

correctly, you will never reach this situation. Although

01:58:53 --> 01:58:54

beaten,

01:58:55 --> 01:58:57

moderately is halal when there is a need

01:58:57 --> 01:58:58

for that.

01:58:59 --> 01:59:01

That's why the prophet said in your house,

01:59:01 --> 01:59:02

you should have what?

01:59:03 --> 01:59:05

A stick whip that you hang on on

01:59:05 --> 01:59:06

the wall.

01:59:07 --> 01:59:09

You don't beat, but the stick is there.

01:59:10 --> 01:59:12

What is the purpose of having this stick?

01:59:12 --> 01:59:14

This is just acting like a policeman.

01:59:15 --> 01:59:17

You know, people who are not disciplined when

01:59:17 --> 01:59:18

they see the police,

01:59:18 --> 01:59:20

the one who is wearing the belt will

01:59:20 --> 01:59:21

quickly wear the belt, and the one who

01:59:21 --> 01:59:23

is not sitting properly will sit properly, the

01:59:23 --> 01:59:25

criminal will try to change his position. Yeah.

01:59:25 --> 01:59:28

Whether the police is good or bad, the

01:59:28 --> 01:59:30

existence of those ones, you know, is a

01:59:30 --> 01:59:31

deterrent. The prophet

01:59:32 --> 01:59:33

said have 1.

01:59:33 --> 01:59:35

You avoid using it but it is there.

01:59:35 --> 01:59:37

To give a signal to the kids that

01:59:37 --> 01:59:39

the father might beat.

01:59:40 --> 01:59:42

So it hasn't been necessary in terbia, but

01:59:42 --> 01:59:45

hasn't doesn't mean you should become a monster

01:59:45 --> 01:59:47

or very harsh and strict to the child.

01:59:48 --> 01:59:49

The power says

01:59:50 --> 01:59:51

digital.

01:59:55 --> 01:59:57

If you're Hazim, you are serious in your

01:59:57 --> 01:59:58

talbia,

01:59:58 --> 02:00:00

you should also have this

02:00:01 --> 02:00:03

seriousness in giving terribia to your family

02:00:03 --> 02:00:04

sometimes.

02:00:05 --> 02:00:06

That's why there has to be red lines

02:00:06 --> 02:00:08

that cannot be crossed in the in the

02:00:08 --> 02:00:09

house.

02:00:09 --> 02:00:10

90%

02:00:11 --> 02:00:13

of your life with your children is freedom.

02:00:14 --> 02:00:16

There must be red lines, and those red

02:00:16 --> 02:00:18

lines are the the matters that are related

02:00:18 --> 02:00:18

to Sharia.

02:00:20 --> 02:00:22

The kids will not mind because you already

02:00:22 --> 02:00:24

taught them how important it is to have

02:00:24 --> 02:00:25

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

02:00:25 --> 02:00:26

in in their mind.

02:00:27 --> 02:00:29

You've already taught them who is Allah. They

02:00:29 --> 02:00:30

already know that the right of Allah subhanahu

02:00:30 --> 02:00:32

wa ta'ala cannot be violated. So you focus

02:00:32 --> 02:00:33

on those ones.

02:00:33 --> 02:00:35

And trust me, if those ones are being

02:00:35 --> 02:00:36

preserved correctly,

02:00:37 --> 02:00:39

the negligence in other matters will be will

02:00:39 --> 02:00:41

be lesser. That's why Omar said,

02:00:42 --> 02:00:44

he says the best,

02:00:45 --> 02:00:45

the best

02:00:46 --> 02:00:48

act of worship you have is the, is

02:00:48 --> 02:00:49

a prayer.

02:00:50 --> 02:00:51

He says man

02:00:52 --> 02:00:53

for who? For man

02:00:55 --> 02:00:57

whoever preserved the prayer will preserve his religion.

02:00:57 --> 02:00:58

And whoever

02:00:59 --> 02:01:00

neglects the prayer,

02:01:00 --> 02:01:03

you will never find him being serious on

02:01:03 --> 02:01:03

other matters.

02:01:04 --> 02:01:06

That's why I said, if you neglect this

02:01:06 --> 02:01:08

Janibul Akida in your house, in your kids,

02:01:09 --> 02:01:11

for sure they will also be negligent on

02:01:11 --> 02:01:15

on other matters. So please understand this correctly.

02:01:15 --> 02:01:17

Last time I quoted for you the story

02:01:17 --> 02:01:17

of

02:01:18 --> 02:01:19

that sister whom

02:01:21 --> 02:01:23

was narrating her story too. The prophet

02:01:23 --> 02:01:26

you remember that story? Hadith Umi Zara.

02:01:27 --> 02:01:29

Is Aisha was narrating a story to to

02:01:29 --> 02:01:30

the prophet

02:01:31 --> 02:01:31

about 11

02:01:32 --> 02:01:34

sisters who sat down in the Jahilia.

02:01:35 --> 02:01:37

Yeah. And they are talking about their husbands.

02:01:37 --> 02:01:39

Each one of them promised not to hide

02:01:39 --> 02:01:41

anything about her husband.

02:01:42 --> 02:01:42

And

02:01:43 --> 02:01:43

most

02:01:44 --> 02:01:45

don't talk good

02:01:46 --> 02:01:47

about their husbands.

02:01:48 --> 02:01:50

Is it a good message to us?

02:01:51 --> 02:01:51

Sir?

02:01:52 --> 02:01:53

It is.

02:01:54 --> 02:01:55

Yeah. Because

02:01:55 --> 02:01:57

you know I'm telling you the truth.

02:01:57 --> 02:01:59

Most of the sisters, if they are asked

02:01:59 --> 02:02:01

to talk about their husbands, what kind of

02:02:01 --> 02:02:03

comment do you think they will be giving?

02:02:05 --> 02:02:06

He's the best.

02:02:08 --> 02:02:10

If her name is going to be disguised,

02:02:10 --> 02:02:12

nobody will know who she is. You will

02:02:12 --> 02:02:14

hear a lot a lot a lot, you

02:02:14 --> 02:02:15

know.

02:02:16 --> 02:02:17

Very rough life.

02:02:17 --> 02:02:20

Yeah. Very rough life between us and and

02:02:20 --> 02:02:23

our family members. You know, life of slavery

02:02:23 --> 02:02:23

sometimes.

02:02:24 --> 02:02:26

Yeah. I have no time for her. She

02:02:26 --> 02:02:27

has no time for me.

02:02:28 --> 02:02:30

And the problem comes from the brother's side

02:02:30 --> 02:02:32

more than the sister's

02:02:33 --> 02:02:34

side. So Aisha,

02:02:35 --> 02:02:36

amongst her mention, she mentioned

02:02:37 --> 02:02:40

a person who described her her husband as

02:02:41 --> 02:02:42

a vad, the cheetah.

02:02:44 --> 02:02:45

This fad, this this animal,

02:02:46 --> 02:02:48

they said it sleep a lot.

02:02:49 --> 02:02:50

She said, Zauji in

02:02:56 --> 02:02:58

My husband when he comes into the house,

02:02:58 --> 02:02:59

he's like fat.

02:02:59 --> 02:03:00

That means

02:03:00 --> 02:03:01

very gentle,

02:03:02 --> 02:03:04

very calm. He overlooks a lot.

02:03:05 --> 02:03:07

Friendly to the family. The wife is happy

02:03:07 --> 02:03:09

because he comes back.

02:03:09 --> 02:03:11

You know, in some places when the husband

02:03:11 --> 02:03:13

is coming back, trust me, the wife is

02:03:13 --> 02:03:15

is strong stress.

02:03:15 --> 02:03:17

What exactly this man is gonna see in

02:03:17 --> 02:03:17

the house now?

02:03:18 --> 02:03:20

Try her best to fix things. And sometimes

02:03:20 --> 02:03:21

she made a mistake,

02:03:22 --> 02:03:23

in the way,

02:03:24 --> 02:03:26

she will get a trouble because of the

02:03:26 --> 02:03:28

behavior and the attitude of the husband.

02:03:31 --> 02:03:32

There was a story. I'm not sure sure

02:03:32 --> 02:03:34

about it or authenticity. Otherwise, I will narrate

02:03:34 --> 02:03:35

it to you to understand

02:03:36 --> 02:03:36

how bad

02:03:37 --> 02:03:38

is being harsh to

02:03:39 --> 02:03:39

the

02:03:41 --> 02:03:41

the wife.

02:03:42 --> 02:03:44

Do you want that story?

02:03:47 --> 02:03:50

Are you sure you want? Yeah. Yeah. K.

02:03:51 --> 02:03:52

I got it from,

02:03:53 --> 02:03:56

somebody from the Islamic University of Medina long

02:03:56 --> 02:03:56

ago.

02:03:57 --> 02:03:57

So I'm not sure

02:03:58 --> 02:04:00

whether it happens or it doesn't happen, but,

02:04:01 --> 02:04:04

when narrated to it was narrated to us

02:04:04 --> 02:04:05

as something that happened.

02:04:08 --> 02:04:09

Are you ready for that?

02:04:13 --> 02:04:15

This person, he's living with more than one

02:04:15 --> 02:04:16

wife,

02:04:18 --> 02:04:19

and he got sick.

02:04:20 --> 02:04:22

Right? He got sick.

02:04:22 --> 02:04:24

When he got sick, he went to the

02:04:24 --> 02:04:25

k. This is just a story here. Then

02:04:25 --> 02:04:28

then then I read it from Ibrahim. When

02:04:28 --> 02:04:29

you tell it, just tell this is a

02:04:29 --> 02:04:31

story you heard from somewhere. Yes?

02:04:32 --> 02:04:34

So he got sick. He went to the

02:04:34 --> 02:04:34

hospital.

02:04:36 --> 02:04:36

The doctors,

02:04:37 --> 02:04:37

needed his,

02:04:38 --> 02:04:39

urine for the test.

02:04:41 --> 02:04:41

So he went,

02:04:42 --> 02:04:44

he has the urine and he kept it

02:04:44 --> 02:04:46

in the bottle waiting for the time to

02:04:46 --> 02:04:47

meet the doctors.

02:04:48 --> 02:04:50

One of them was sweeping the house, by

02:04:50 --> 02:04:52

mistake, she hit the thing.

02:04:53 --> 02:04:55

And it fell down.

02:04:56 --> 02:04:58

She knows that her days are numbered.

02:05:00 --> 02:05:03

This man would never accept the simple things.

02:05:03 --> 02:05:04

He's like Majnoon.

02:05:05 --> 02:05:07

But now this will be the big thing

02:05:07 --> 02:05:08

she did.

02:05:09 --> 02:05:11

Because most likely doctors ask him to do

02:05:11 --> 02:05:11

this and

02:05:12 --> 02:05:14

hid it waiting for the time to meet

02:05:14 --> 02:05:14

the doctor.

02:05:16 --> 02:05:17

What solution she has

02:05:18 --> 02:05:20

to get hers and put inside?

02:05:21 --> 02:05:23

And she has she was pregnant at that

02:05:23 --> 02:05:24

time.

02:05:25 --> 02:05:27

And that's why I said, are you ready

02:05:27 --> 02:05:28

for the story? You said it. So you

02:05:28 --> 02:05:30

are responsible, not me.

02:05:32 --> 02:05:34

So the man came innocently and took the

02:05:34 --> 02:05:35

urine

02:05:36 --> 02:05:36

to the doctor.

02:05:38 --> 02:05:39

And the doctor told him

02:05:40 --> 02:05:42

and check and say, what? Is it yours?

02:05:42 --> 02:05:43

He's here. It's mine.

02:05:47 --> 02:05:48

So you get what I'm trying to say.

02:05:48 --> 02:05:49

Right?

02:05:49 --> 02:05:52

So should I complete the story? Yes. Please

02:05:52 --> 02:05:52

say no.

02:05:55 --> 02:05:57

So anyway, so the doctor told him, actually

02:05:57 --> 02:05:58

according to the test,

02:05:59 --> 02:06:01

you are this and that.

02:06:02 --> 02:06:04

The man was very annoyed, you know, going

02:06:04 --> 02:06:06

to hit the doctor. You're telling me this,

02:06:06 --> 02:06:08

he said, yes, this is the result of

02:06:08 --> 02:06:09

the the test.

02:06:10 --> 02:06:12

But if you don't trust me, take the

02:06:12 --> 02:06:13

same thing to somebody else.

02:06:13 --> 02:06:16

That one also did. The same result.

02:06:18 --> 02:06:18

And Subhanallah,

02:06:19 --> 02:06:20

Dunia turned upside down.

02:06:21 --> 02:06:23

For the first time he went back, very

02:06:23 --> 02:06:23

humble.

02:06:25 --> 02:06:28

To the family asking them what exactly happened.

02:06:28 --> 02:06:29

And this is his situation.

02:06:32 --> 02:06:33

Until the time when they pity him because

02:06:33 --> 02:06:35

he cried, he doesn't know what to do,

02:06:35 --> 02:06:35

you know.

02:06:36 --> 02:06:38

How to explain to them? I mean the

02:06:38 --> 02:06:39

people that he is

02:06:39 --> 02:06:40

having this.

02:06:41 --> 02:06:42

So and then after this,

02:06:43 --> 02:06:45

that wife, when she sees how much in

02:06:45 --> 02:06:48

Kesa, that was the time she explained to

02:06:48 --> 02:06:49

him what exactly happened.

02:06:50 --> 02:06:52

And she told him that yes because I'm

02:06:52 --> 02:06:53

not sure about what will happen to my

02:06:53 --> 02:06:55

life. So I have no any other choice

02:06:55 --> 02:06:56

except to look for alternative.

02:06:57 --> 02:06:59

And to grant you that.

02:06:59 --> 02:07:01

That was the only thing that convinced him

02:07:01 --> 02:07:02

to come

02:07:02 --> 02:07:04

the dawg. But if he is doing it

02:07:04 --> 02:07:05

like Rasulullah

02:07:06 --> 02:07:07

Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam, trust me.

02:07:08 --> 02:07:10

She can just tell him unfortunately

02:07:10 --> 02:07:12

by mistake I did this. Please.

02:07:13 --> 02:07:16

Uh-uh I'm very sorry. Let's make an another

02:07:16 --> 02:07:17

appointment.

02:07:17 --> 02:07:18

We'll get a new one and then we

02:07:18 --> 02:07:20

go to the doctors with it.

02:07:21 --> 02:07:23

So this woman said,

02:07:24 --> 02:07:26

when he gets inside the house, he's like

02:07:26 --> 02:07:27

Fahad.

02:07:28 --> 02:07:30

Meaning very soft and gentle and and friend

02:07:30 --> 02:07:31

of everyone.

02:07:32 --> 02:07:34

When Khalid the asset, and when he goes

02:07:34 --> 02:07:35

out of the house,

02:07:35 --> 02:07:38

he's like a lion. Because she's afraid of

02:07:38 --> 02:07:40

somebody making negative comment on her husband that

02:07:40 --> 02:07:42

he's very very weak.

02:07:42 --> 02:07:46

She said no. His attitude and his behavior

02:07:46 --> 02:07:48

at home is like this. However, he's a

02:07:48 --> 02:07:50

very serious person when he is outside.

02:07:54 --> 02:07:56

He doesn't come back home to interview the

02:07:56 --> 02:07:58

people who are living in the house. Why

02:07:58 --> 02:08:00

this thing is here?

02:08:00 --> 02:08:02

Why this thing is not being done, why

02:08:02 --> 02:08:04

why why why. He does it.

02:08:06 --> 02:08:07

That's why you remember last time I said,

02:08:07 --> 02:08:09

when you go back to your house,

02:08:10 --> 02:08:10

don't bring

02:08:11 --> 02:08:13

anything back to the house. Yeah, because when

02:08:13 --> 02:08:15

you go to the workplace, you know sometimes

02:08:15 --> 02:08:17

you get annoyed here and there. When you

02:08:17 --> 02:08:18

go back to the house, you will become

02:08:18 --> 02:08:19

very sensitive.

02:08:20 --> 02:08:22

Intolerant. You have no time for the family

02:08:22 --> 02:08:24

and no time for the kids and nobody.

02:08:24 --> 02:08:26

So Al Hazm is necessary.

02:08:27 --> 02:08:28

Yeah? To be

02:08:29 --> 02:08:32

seriousness in is necessary for the family to

02:08:32 --> 02:08:34

be able to do the right thing. But

02:08:34 --> 02:08:36

at the same time, this seriousness should be

02:08:38 --> 02:08:39

attached and adorned with

02:08:39 --> 02:08:43

mercy and love. And, your kids,

02:08:43 --> 02:08:44

your wife,

02:08:44 --> 02:08:46

they should be the best friend

02:08:47 --> 02:08:50

for you in this life of ours. You

02:08:50 --> 02:08:50

know.

02:08:51 --> 02:08:53

If you're not like that, will life change?

02:08:53 --> 02:08:55

Your kids, they should be your best friend.

02:08:56 --> 02:08:57

You know, this is really necessary.

02:08:58 --> 02:08:58

Wajib,

02:08:58 --> 02:08:59

I can call it

02:09:04 --> 02:09:06

that your kids have to be your best

02:09:06 --> 02:09:08

friend. Your wife must be your best

02:09:09 --> 02:09:11

friend. Not in this sense of joke

02:09:12 --> 02:09:14

or pretending, no, she has to. Your husband

02:09:14 --> 02:09:16

has to be like that.

02:09:16 --> 02:09:18

Because if you have sensitivity in your heart

02:09:18 --> 02:09:20

towards one of them, how do you cooperate

02:09:20 --> 02:09:23

both of you 2 to produce a good

02:09:23 --> 02:09:25

a good child? You get it? Your kids,

02:09:25 --> 02:09:27

they should be happy when you come back.

02:09:28 --> 02:09:30

They should they should be waiting for you.

02:09:31 --> 02:09:32

And therefore,

02:09:33 --> 02:09:35

in all of their games, in all of

02:09:35 --> 02:09:36

the things when they invite you, as long

02:09:36 --> 02:09:38

as you are not busy with something which

02:09:38 --> 02:09:38

is,

02:09:39 --> 02:09:40

you know,

02:09:40 --> 02:09:43

which cannot be compromised, just leave whatever you

02:09:43 --> 02:09:44

are doing, go to them.

02:09:45 --> 02:09:47

Don't trust my words, go and see the

02:09:47 --> 02:09:49

life of Muhammad sallallahu alaihi. This is what

02:09:49 --> 02:09:50

you find.

02:09:51 --> 02:09:53

As soon as I saw some play with

02:09:53 --> 02:09:53

the kids.

02:09:54 --> 02:09:56

You know. Make them happy. Bring them closer.

02:09:57 --> 02:09:59

Yeah. So that's why they are always truthful

02:09:59 --> 02:10:01

and saying the truth to the prophet Sallallahu

02:10:01 --> 02:10:04

Alaihi Salam. Number 2, the next quality is

02:10:04 --> 02:10:05

a salah, righteousness.

02:10:07 --> 02:10:07

You know,

02:10:08 --> 02:10:09

righteousness. This is necessary.

02:10:10 --> 02:10:12

Is the best way to preserve your family

02:10:12 --> 02:10:15

and you remember my word last time I

02:10:15 --> 02:10:17

said, a child is just like a bag,

02:10:17 --> 02:10:19

right? That you fill it with the way

02:10:19 --> 02:10:21

you want. And they always monitor.

02:10:23 --> 02:10:25

They always monitor and see you. And they

02:10:25 --> 02:10:27

always try to do what you are doing.

02:10:28 --> 02:10:29

They always try to to do what you

02:10:29 --> 02:10:30

are,

02:10:30 --> 02:10:31

you are doing.

02:10:32 --> 02:10:34

I have a child at home.

02:10:36 --> 02:10:39

Just completed 2 years. Just completed 2 years.

02:10:40 --> 02:10:41

Trust me. Whenever I pray

02:10:41 --> 02:10:43

at night, if he's not sleeping at that

02:10:43 --> 02:10:44

time, I tell him,

02:10:44 --> 02:10:47

come. Let's pray. He will leave his his

02:10:47 --> 02:10:49

his car. He will come.

02:10:50 --> 02:10:52

Also looking at any place but he comes

02:10:52 --> 02:10:53

in.

02:10:54 --> 02:10:56

And sometimes when you see, he sees one

02:10:56 --> 02:10:58

of us praying, he will go and start

02:10:58 --> 02:11:00

bringing the clothes for the other one.

02:11:00 --> 02:11:02

Prayer time, he also will come and and

02:11:02 --> 02:11:05

start praying. These are children. You can see

02:11:05 --> 02:11:07

that from their talk, their behavior, the way

02:11:07 --> 02:11:09

they act, you know, whatever you are doing

02:11:09 --> 02:11:10

at home, they are also copying.

02:11:11 --> 02:11:13

Yeah. So if you're not good,

02:11:13 --> 02:11:16

they're going to copy that bad behavior,

02:11:16 --> 02:11:19

and they will be grown, you know, upon

02:11:19 --> 02:11:21

that bad behavior, which might not be easy

02:11:21 --> 02:11:23

for you to fix it. And

02:11:24 --> 02:11:26

that's why we go back to the first

02:11:26 --> 02:11:29

thing I said, right? Choosing the best person

02:11:30 --> 02:11:32

As a base of your Tarbia.

02:11:33 --> 02:11:35

For the Tarbia of your kids. Ask

02:11:36 --> 02:11:36

you to

02:11:37 --> 02:11:39

make to choose the base that is upon

02:11:40 --> 02:11:42

what? 2 things, right? Tap of Allah and

02:11:43 --> 02:11:44

and good manners.

02:11:45 --> 02:11:46

Not any other thing else.

02:11:47 --> 02:11:47

Taqwa

02:11:48 --> 02:11:49

and good manners.

02:11:50 --> 02:11:51

So Assala is necessary

02:11:52 --> 02:11:54

because the kids are going to imitate you

02:11:54 --> 02:11:56

and follow you in whatever they see you

02:11:56 --> 02:11:56

doing.

02:11:57 --> 02:11:59

And also my dear brothers, sisters,

02:12:00 --> 02:12:02

this is also the best way for you

02:12:02 --> 02:12:03

to preserve your children.

02:12:04 --> 02:12:06

Do you know that? If you have, you

02:12:06 --> 02:12:08

give them good and you are righteous,

02:12:09 --> 02:12:11

Allah will protect your children because of, because

02:12:11 --> 02:12:12

of this.

02:12:26 --> 02:12:26

Allah

02:12:27 --> 02:12:30

instructed Khidr to go and fix the the

02:12:30 --> 02:12:30

wall.

02:12:31 --> 02:12:33

Because under the wall you have

02:12:33 --> 02:12:36

the children, I mean the treasure that belongs

02:12:36 --> 02:12:37

to the children, and Allah

02:12:38 --> 02:12:39

is doing

02:12:40 --> 02:12:43

this for them because the father was was

02:12:43 --> 02:12:44

a righteous person.

02:12:44 --> 02:12:46

So the more righteous you are

02:12:47 --> 02:12:50

the better protection and preservation you have

02:12:50 --> 02:12:52

in your kids. Say it will be used

02:12:52 --> 02:12:55

to say, sometimes I increase my righteous righteousness

02:12:56 --> 02:12:59

for my kids to be preserved by Allah

02:12:59 --> 02:12:59

Subhanahu

02:12:59 --> 02:13:03

Wa Ta'ala. So it's necessary for you to

02:13:03 --> 02:13:06

become and to maintain your righteousness for the

02:13:06 --> 02:13:06

kid to have

02:13:07 --> 02:13:08

a good person

02:13:09 --> 02:13:11

to imitate. That environment should be the environment

02:13:11 --> 02:13:13

of righteousness.

02:13:14 --> 02:13:14

A civic,

02:13:15 --> 02:13:16

speaking the truth.

02:13:17 --> 02:13:19

Right? If the father become a liar, and

02:13:19 --> 02:13:21

the mother also is lying,

02:13:22 --> 02:13:23

trust me, the kids,

02:13:24 --> 02:13:25

they will also

02:13:26 --> 02:13:29

grow upon lying. So I tell them not

02:13:29 --> 02:13:30

to lie, but I lie.

02:13:31 --> 02:13:34

Right? How do I lie? I promise him

02:13:34 --> 02:13:37

to give him something but I don't give.

02:13:38 --> 02:13:40

So my sister was calling a child,

02:13:41 --> 02:13:43

you know, to give him something.

02:13:44 --> 02:13:44

So,

02:13:45 --> 02:13:46

she gave. The prophet

02:13:46 --> 02:13:47

said,

02:13:47 --> 02:13:49

had you, you know, stay away from giving.

02:13:50 --> 02:13:52

It will be written for you as as

02:13:52 --> 02:13:52

a lie.

02:13:53 --> 02:13:55

You get it? So, when I tell my

02:13:55 --> 02:13:57

child, I would do something, I should do

02:13:57 --> 02:13:57

it.

02:13:58 --> 02:13:59

And please,

02:13:59 --> 02:14:02

my dear brothers, sisters, take this seriously.

02:14:03 --> 02:14:04

Yeah. Don't lie.

02:14:05 --> 02:14:07

Yeah. Don't lie. Don't tolerate lie in the

02:14:07 --> 02:14:09

house, but you should be the first person

02:14:09 --> 02:14:10

to observe this.

02:14:12 --> 02:14:14

If you lie, you're not honest

02:14:15 --> 02:14:17

in your affairs, your kids also are going

02:14:17 --> 02:14:18

to

02:14:19 --> 02:14:21

be not honest in the affairs.

02:14:22 --> 02:14:25

Is that clear? Yeah, our kids lie, right?

02:14:25 --> 02:14:27

A lot. Why? Because they are afraid of

02:14:27 --> 02:14:29

being punished. So we already tackled this. You

02:14:29 --> 02:14:30

don't want them to lie?

02:14:30 --> 02:14:33

Stay away from punishing your kids. Be either

02:14:33 --> 02:14:34

lighter. Allah, they don't, they will not lie

02:14:34 --> 02:14:37

to you. Be a friend of them. They

02:14:37 --> 02:14:39

will have no excuse except to speak the

02:14:39 --> 02:14:41

truth because they are not afraid of

02:14:41 --> 02:14:43

anything. And it should be the best example

02:14:43 --> 02:14:46

for them. Yeah, when you promise something, do

02:14:46 --> 02:14:48

it. When you promise others and they know

02:14:48 --> 02:14:50

about this promise, do it. When you say

02:14:50 --> 02:14:52

you will do something, do it.

02:14:52 --> 02:14:54

Don't lie. No matter what.

02:14:55 --> 02:14:55

Sometimes

02:14:56 --> 02:14:58

police stopped you.

02:14:59 --> 02:15:00

You play some games. The kids know you

02:15:00 --> 02:15:02

are lying. You know you are lying and

02:15:02 --> 02:15:04

the kids know you are lying. What message

02:15:04 --> 02:15:05

are you sending to the kids?

02:15:06 --> 02:15:08

They also should lie in in the future.

02:15:08 --> 02:15:10

By the way, is there any good in

02:15:10 --> 02:15:10

line?

02:15:11 --> 02:15:12

Say no.

02:15:13 --> 02:15:15

There's nothing good except in the rural situations,

02:15:16 --> 02:15:18

Yusuf. Yeah, only in the rural situations.

02:15:19 --> 02:15:21

That's why lying has never been tolerated in

02:15:21 --> 02:15:24

our religion except in 3 situations. And each

02:15:24 --> 02:15:25

one of them is the rural.

02:15:26 --> 02:15:28

Number 1, when you lie at the battlefield,

02:15:29 --> 02:15:30

you lie

02:15:30 --> 02:15:32

to reconcile between 2

02:15:33 --> 02:15:35

Muslim brothers who are fighting each other.

02:15:35 --> 02:15:36

Yeah.

02:15:37 --> 02:15:38

Or to save the life of your

02:15:39 --> 02:15:41

your family or your friends, you know, or

02:15:41 --> 02:15:44

any other Muslim, you can lie.

02:15:44 --> 02:15:47

And the last one is lying to to

02:15:47 --> 02:15:47

the spouse.

02:15:48 --> 02:15:50

Yeah. You might say this is not necessary.

02:15:50 --> 02:15:51

No, it is.

02:15:52 --> 02:15:55

When you reach that situation, it is

02:15:56 --> 02:15:58

necessary for you to see how to go

02:15:58 --> 02:16:00

out of it, Because Islam wants the marriage

02:16:00 --> 02:16:01

to be maintained.

02:16:02 --> 02:16:05

Subhanallah. Nowadays, the divorce, is it decreasing or

02:16:05 --> 02:16:05

increasing?

02:16:06 --> 02:16:09

Yeah. Somebody was telling me so many people

02:16:09 --> 02:16:10

are not married. I say yeah and so

02:16:10 --> 02:16:12

many people are getting divorced also at the

02:16:12 --> 02:16:13

same time.

02:16:13 --> 02:16:15

To add to that pain, right? So many

02:16:15 --> 02:16:18

people are not married. Is that true? Yes.

02:16:18 --> 02:16:20

And so many people are divorced.

02:16:20 --> 02:16:22

To add to that pain also.

02:16:23 --> 02:16:24

Why? Because

02:16:25 --> 02:16:27

the marriage is not based on

02:16:27 --> 02:16:29

what is this supposed to

02:16:30 --> 02:16:31

to be based based on.

02:16:32 --> 02:16:32

So

02:16:33 --> 02:16:36

Allah wants the marital relationship to be maintained.

02:16:36 --> 02:16:38

Because this is

02:16:39 --> 02:16:41

the only way we can ensure a good

02:16:41 --> 02:16:43

terbia given to to the kids.

02:16:44 --> 02:16:46

That's why Shaitan was happy to

02:16:46 --> 02:16:49

hear somebody divorcing his wife. Much happier than

02:16:49 --> 02:16:50

seeing somebody

02:16:52 --> 02:16:53

Killing another person.

02:16:54 --> 02:16:56

And this one is halal. And he's happy

02:16:56 --> 02:16:59

because if this is to happen, usually the

02:16:59 --> 02:17:00

turbia of the kids will be

02:17:01 --> 02:17:04

corrupt. And when the terbia is gone, then

02:17:04 --> 02:17:06

you see the kids are, that are generated

02:17:06 --> 02:17:07

from this house,

02:17:07 --> 02:17:10

being engaged in doing any evil in the

02:17:10 --> 02:17:11

community.

02:17:12 --> 02:17:13

Is that clear inshallah? So that's the reason

02:17:13 --> 02:17:14

why the prophet said

02:17:15 --> 02:17:18

lying to a spouse is also permissible. When

02:17:18 --> 02:17:20

there is no any other way to fix

02:17:20 --> 02:17:20

the situation.

02:17:21 --> 02:17:23

Not like whenever you talk to her, you

02:17:23 --> 02:17:24

lie to her. No. You are a liar.

02:17:24 --> 02:17:26

And you will get sin for this. He's

02:17:26 --> 02:17:27

talking about critical matters.

02:17:28 --> 02:17:29

Where there is no any other way to

02:17:29 --> 02:17:31

fix the situation except if you tell her

02:17:31 --> 02:17:34

something in that way, the Tawia way. Then

02:17:34 --> 02:17:36

it will be it will be okay inshallah.

02:17:37 --> 02:17:37

So

02:17:38 --> 02:17:40

speak in the truth is an honor.

02:17:41 --> 02:17:42

And nobody

02:17:42 --> 02:17:44

amongst the creation of Allah that has the

02:17:44 --> 02:17:47

common sense in Aqal that tolerate a lies.

02:17:47 --> 02:17:49

Adibullah Musaib once said

02:17:56 --> 02:17:58

any sin that Allah makes kafara

02:17:59 --> 02:18:00

for this

02:18:00 --> 02:18:02

sin, the issue of this sin is, is

02:18:02 --> 02:18:03

very simple.

02:18:04 --> 02:18:07

Are we together? Whatever Allah put kafara for

02:18:07 --> 02:18:09

it, that's mean the issue is simple.

02:18:09 --> 02:18:11

You can tackle the matter and you can

02:18:11 --> 02:18:14

fix it. He says that's why Allah did

02:18:14 --> 02:18:16

not make Kafara for for lying.

02:18:17 --> 02:18:19

That's why I really urge and advise you

02:18:19 --> 02:18:21

to speak the truth in all circumstances.

02:18:22 --> 02:18:23

In all circumstances.

02:18:26 --> 02:18:29

The next quality is Al Hikma. So we

02:18:29 --> 02:18:31

talk about the silic Al Hikma, wisdom.

02:18:32 --> 02:18:33

What is wisdom?

02:18:34 --> 02:18:36

Putting things in the right

02:18:36 --> 02:18:39

position. Yeah. Putting thing in the right position.

02:18:40 --> 02:18:41

Hit my advice.

02:18:41 --> 02:18:43

Yeah. We need this with our kids. It's

02:18:43 --> 02:18:45

part of what I have said. Terbiabi,

02:18:45 --> 02:18:46

it helped

02:18:46 --> 02:18:48

Terbia with law

02:18:48 --> 02:18:49

And a kind of

02:18:50 --> 02:18:52

friendly Terbia. So when you fix your children,

02:18:53 --> 02:18:55

fix them with with Hikma.

02:18:55 --> 02:18:56

Sit with them.

02:18:57 --> 02:18:58

Address their damir.

02:18:59 --> 02:19:01

You know? Don't you think this is wrong?

02:19:01 --> 02:19:02

Don't you think if we do it in

02:19:02 --> 02:19:05

this way, it's better? You know? Let's sit

02:19:05 --> 02:19:07

down and cooperate. You know? Fix them with

02:19:07 --> 02:19:08

Hikma.

02:19:09 --> 02:19:11

I have children. If one of them did

02:19:11 --> 02:19:12

something wrong,

02:19:12 --> 02:19:15

you know, but nobody knows that this person

02:19:15 --> 02:19:16

is doing something wrong.

02:19:17 --> 02:19:20

The usual way of fixing him is to

02:19:20 --> 02:19:22

to shout and to talk against him in

02:19:22 --> 02:19:24

the presence of his siblings.

02:19:25 --> 02:19:25

Yeah.

02:19:26 --> 02:19:28

And they're gonna be happy with that. Yeah.

02:19:28 --> 02:19:30

Because they will see they will tease him.

02:19:31 --> 02:19:31

Yeah.

02:19:33 --> 02:19:35

So you shouldn't do that.

02:19:35 --> 02:19:37

What must you do? You keep it

02:19:37 --> 02:19:39

until the moment you can sit with him.

02:19:40 --> 02:19:42

You alone with him. Trust me. If you

02:19:42 --> 02:19:44

are to treat your child in this way,

02:19:44 --> 02:19:45

the evening

02:19:46 --> 02:19:48

that bad behavior will be, will be fixed.

02:19:48 --> 02:19:50

So wisdom is needed. Wisdom means

02:19:51 --> 02:19:52

putting things in the appropriate

02:19:53 --> 02:19:54

position.

02:19:55 --> 02:19:57

And the last one I have here, a

02:19:57 --> 02:19:59

Tavaful which I already talk about it when

02:19:59 --> 02:20:01

I was talking about the the Hazm. The

02:20:01 --> 02:20:02

Rafa means overlooking.

02:20:03 --> 02:20:05

Categorize the mistakes the kids are going to

02:20:05 --> 02:20:07

be committing at home. You know, according to

02:20:07 --> 02:20:08

their size.

02:20:08 --> 02:20:10

Focus on those big ones and the minor

02:20:10 --> 02:20:12

ones, close your eyes. If you fix the

02:20:12 --> 02:20:15

big ones in a nice way, you know,

02:20:15 --> 02:20:17

lovely way, be even light to Allah, The

02:20:17 --> 02:20:20

small ones will be will be fixed by

02:20:20 --> 02:20:21

by themselves.

02:20:21 --> 02:20:23

So, these are

02:20:23 --> 02:20:26

the those qualities that I found mentioned by

02:20:26 --> 02:20:28

some scholars to be you know adorned

02:20:29 --> 02:20:31

by the the Morabi

02:20:31 --> 02:20:33

who wants to succeed in his in his

02:20:33 --> 02:20:36

terbia. So inshallah after this I will be

02:20:36 --> 02:20:37

attaching

02:20:37 --> 02:20:38

the part of

02:20:39 --> 02:20:40

growing a child on.

02:20:44 --> 02:20:46

But before then inshallah, we'll open once again.

02:20:46 --> 02:20:47

Uh-uh

02:20:48 --> 02:20:50

the session for question and

02:20:50 --> 02:20:52

if if there is any question from your

02:20:52 --> 02:20:52

side.

02:21:04 --> 02:21:04

Any questions?

02:21:08 --> 02:21:10

Assalamu alaikum, Sheikh. Sheikh,

02:21:13 --> 02:21:15

should we wait until we give our bad

02:21:15 --> 02:21:16

habits before going to propose?

02:21:19 --> 02:21:21

Somebody wants to, who is the one who

02:21:21 --> 02:21:23

is asking me this question? I don't see.

02:21:23 --> 02:21:24

Ah, Obas.

02:21:25 --> 02:21:27

So somebody has bad habit, right? He wants

02:21:27 --> 02:21:30

to marry, shall he wait until he

02:21:30 --> 02:21:32

stay away from the bad habit and then

02:21:32 --> 02:21:33

he he marries?

02:21:36 --> 02:21:39

Until when he will be waiting.

02:21:43 --> 02:21:44

When do when does he think he can

02:21:44 --> 02:21:46

stop doing that habit?

02:21:47 --> 02:21:50

It depends on the habit. But I'm assuming

02:21:51 --> 02:21:52

a month or 2, maybe.

02:21:53 --> 02:21:54

In it, as a Muslim,

02:21:55 --> 02:21:57

you know, this person who is asking me

02:21:57 --> 02:21:59

this question is a Muslim. When does he

02:21:59 --> 02:22:01

think he can be able to give up

02:22:01 --> 02:22:02

that bad habit?

02:22:04 --> 02:22:06

I don't think there's a specific time, but

02:22:06 --> 02:22:07

as soon as possible.

02:22:09 --> 02:22:11

And this person, we need to see him,

02:22:11 --> 02:22:13

actually, to have a special meeting with him.

02:22:14 --> 02:22:16

Yeah. You know why I'm saying this, Wabas?

02:22:16 --> 02:22:16

Because

02:22:17 --> 02:22:19

it looks like he has a written agreement

02:22:19 --> 02:22:21

with the angel of death.

02:22:21 --> 02:22:24

Not to come to him until he fixes

02:22:24 --> 02:22:26

himself and then the angel will come.

02:22:27 --> 02:22:29

You know why I'm saying this, is because

02:22:29 --> 02:22:29

if

02:22:30 --> 02:22:32

this is not the case, as a Muslim,

02:22:33 --> 02:22:35

if I have, you know, the the courage

02:22:35 --> 02:22:37

to say that I'm waiting for the time

02:22:37 --> 02:22:38

to fix myself, that means I can do

02:22:38 --> 02:22:39

it.

02:22:40 --> 02:22:42

I can do it. Why can't I fix

02:22:42 --> 02:22:44

myself right now and move forward in my

02:22:44 --> 02:22:46

life? I know what I'm doing is wrong.

02:22:47 --> 02:22:48

Seriously,

02:22:48 --> 02:22:50

I want to address this question because it's

02:22:50 --> 02:22:52

wrong decision for a person to be making.

02:22:52 --> 02:22:55

I wait first until I fix myself and

02:22:55 --> 02:22:56

then I marry. When am I going to

02:22:56 --> 02:22:57

fix myself?

02:22:57 --> 02:23:00

And subhanallah, by the time you started thinking

02:23:00 --> 02:23:01

this way, trust me, it's like you are

02:23:01 --> 02:23:05

inviting the shaitan to also intensify the effort

02:23:05 --> 02:23:07

on you not to make a change.

02:23:07 --> 02:23:09

Because it's very dangerous to live a life

02:23:09 --> 02:23:11

without having a spouse next to you.

02:23:12 --> 02:23:15

So a person who says this really needs

02:23:15 --> 02:23:17

somebody to advise him wisely.

02:23:17 --> 02:23:18

Fix yourself

02:23:18 --> 02:23:20

right now and marry and move forward.

02:23:21 --> 02:23:21

It's

02:23:22 --> 02:23:24

to fix what he knows to be wrong

02:23:25 --> 02:23:27

and propose a marriage. Don't wait

02:23:28 --> 02:23:31

until he fix himself and then propose. No.

02:23:31 --> 02:23:33

Fix himself right now and propose.

02:23:34 --> 02:23:36

And that's it. And keep trying his best

02:23:36 --> 02:23:38

to make sure that he maintain his good

02:23:38 --> 02:23:38

behavior.

02:23:39 --> 02:23:41

Inshallah. Rather than waiting

02:23:41 --> 02:23:42

until when? Like what you told me. You

02:23:42 --> 02:23:44

were right in what you said. There is

02:23:44 --> 02:23:46

no time limit for this. Right?

02:23:46 --> 02:23:49

Yeah. I can say I I want to

02:23:49 --> 02:23:50

propose to marry,

02:23:50 --> 02:23:51

but when I graduate.

02:23:52 --> 02:23:54

Is there any time limit for this? Yes.

02:23:54 --> 02:23:55

I know when I'm when I'm going to

02:23:55 --> 02:23:56

be graduating.

02:23:57 --> 02:23:59

Right? But this one is saying, when I

02:23:59 --> 02:24:01

become righteous, when is he going to become

02:24:01 --> 02:24:03

righteous? I'm pretty sure if I ask him,

02:24:03 --> 02:24:04

he will tell me I don't know.

02:24:05 --> 02:24:06

If he tells me yes, I know, then

02:24:06 --> 02:24:08

I, then this person is a is a

02:24:08 --> 02:24:08

player.

02:24:09 --> 02:24:11

He knows what he's doing, he's just playing

02:24:11 --> 02:24:11

the game.

02:24:12 --> 02:24:14

With his religion. So my advice to this

02:24:14 --> 02:24:17

person is to fix his attitude and his

02:24:17 --> 02:24:20

behavior, and then propose to marry a good

02:24:20 --> 02:24:21

person, you know.

02:24:38 --> 02:24:40

Sheikh, this with regards to,

02:24:41 --> 02:24:41

being,

02:24:42 --> 02:24:43

just with

02:24:44 --> 02:24:45

kids and the siblings. Yeah.

02:24:47 --> 02:24:48

Sheikh, is is it from the sunnah to

02:24:48 --> 02:24:49

start

02:24:50 --> 02:24:52

with the girls when giving gifts,

02:24:53 --> 02:24:55

as opposed to boys.

02:24:55 --> 02:24:57

And, actually, I have a number of questions,

02:24:57 --> 02:24:59

so I'm not sure if I should ask

02:24:59 --> 02:25:00

all of them at once or one by

02:25:00 --> 02:25:02

one share. We still have time, shall we?

02:25:02 --> 02:25:03

Okay.

02:25:06 --> 02:25:09

I continue with the question. That's that's question

02:25:09 --> 02:25:10

Number 1. Number 1. Okay.

02:25:11 --> 02:25:12

There are some but

02:25:14 --> 02:25:15

they have some issues with their,

02:25:16 --> 02:25:17

authenticity that the prophet

02:25:18 --> 02:25:20

proposed that a girl should be start with.

02:25:21 --> 02:25:24

I I can't remember any one of these

02:25:24 --> 02:25:25

mussels that is authentic.

02:25:26 --> 02:25:27

What we got from the prophet sallallahu alaihi

02:25:27 --> 02:25:31

wasallam is an intensive mercy, you know, that

02:25:31 --> 02:25:32

has been shown to the to the girls

02:25:32 --> 02:25:35

more than the boys. But not

02:25:35 --> 02:25:36

seeing the,

02:25:37 --> 02:25:39

I mean, letting the boys sees that you're

02:25:39 --> 02:25:41

making differences between them and and the girls

02:25:41 --> 02:25:43

because the boy doesn't understand this.

02:25:44 --> 02:25:45

But as soon as Allah said,

02:25:46 --> 02:25:48

if Allah bless you with 2 daughters

02:25:49 --> 02:25:51

and you are kind with them and you

02:25:51 --> 02:25:52

educate them properly,

02:25:53 --> 02:25:55

they will become your protection against the help.

02:25:56 --> 02:25:58

You know, from that life where they are

02:25:58 --> 02:26:00

buried alive, they are killed,

02:26:01 --> 02:26:03

Now, they are blessing to have a girl

02:26:03 --> 02:26:05

is a blessing from Allah. It's a very

02:26:05 --> 02:26:07

special gift. You Allah. If you don't see

02:26:07 --> 02:26:09

it like this, see it like that. Although

02:26:09 --> 02:26:12

it's very, very, very, very also tough nowadays

02:26:12 --> 02:26:13

to give tarabia to,

02:26:14 --> 02:26:16

a girl, but it's still a blessing from

02:26:16 --> 02:26:19

Allah to have her baby girl. And all

02:26:19 --> 02:26:20

that you have to do is to make

02:26:20 --> 02:26:23

sure that you educate her properly and you

02:26:23 --> 02:26:24

give her what she need. And you are

02:26:24 --> 02:26:26

gentle and soft because this is what fits

02:26:26 --> 02:26:29

her nature. You see, you can come and

02:26:29 --> 02:26:30

talk to your child

02:26:30 --> 02:26:32

in a bit harsh way,

02:26:33 --> 02:26:36

and the child might smile and stand up

02:26:36 --> 02:26:36

and go.

02:26:37 --> 02:26:39

Say the same thing to your daughter.

02:26:39 --> 02:26:41

Trust me, before you complete, you might see

02:26:41 --> 02:26:44

tears coming from her. Alright. So different people.

02:26:44 --> 02:26:46

That's mean in my approach,

02:26:46 --> 02:26:48

when I talk to my daughter, I shouldn't

02:26:48 --> 02:26:49

talk to her in the way I talk

02:26:49 --> 02:26:50

to my son.

02:26:51 --> 02:26:52

If I'm gonna be harsh,

02:26:53 --> 02:26:55

I shouldn't be harsh with her. Yes. I

02:26:55 --> 02:26:57

must make sure that she's doing the right

02:26:57 --> 02:26:58

thing, but at the same time, I should

02:26:58 --> 02:27:01

make sure that I'm addressing Hadamir looking up

02:27:01 --> 02:27:03

at her nature, you know. So but to

02:27:03 --> 02:27:05

say that, yes, I make a gift, I

02:27:05 --> 02:27:07

give him more, or I give him more,

02:27:07 --> 02:27:09

the scholars said justice have to be maintained

02:27:09 --> 02:27:11

in this regard. Although majority of the scholars

02:27:11 --> 02:27:14

said justice in this regard is supposed to

02:27:14 --> 02:27:15

be done in the way of inheritance,

02:27:16 --> 02:27:17

like the law of inheritance.

02:27:18 --> 02:27:21

Boy takes twice the portion of a girl.

02:27:21 --> 02:27:23

But if this is not necessary, I really

02:27:23 --> 02:27:26

advise a person just to equate them. You

02:27:26 --> 02:27:28

know, you wanna give money to both of

02:27:28 --> 02:27:30

them, give them the same thing.

02:27:30 --> 02:27:32

You wanna buy some gift, give them the

02:27:32 --> 02:27:34

same thing. You know, don't make differences. But

02:27:34 --> 02:27:36

if there is a need for a difference

02:27:36 --> 02:27:38

to take place, yes, you do. She will

02:27:38 --> 02:27:40

understand or he will understand. Whoever need to

02:27:40 --> 02:27:42

be given more, he give him more. The

02:27:42 --> 02:27:44

rest also will understand because they know that

02:27:44 --> 02:27:47

this person need more than that. Yeah. Lagrange

02:27:47 --> 02:27:49

is good. And to a few.

02:27:50 --> 02:27:51

The second question

02:27:52 --> 02:27:53

is with regards what you mentioned,

02:27:54 --> 02:27:55

about the grades,

02:27:56 --> 02:27:57

and never,

02:27:59 --> 02:28:00

given,

02:28:01 --> 02:28:01

something

02:28:02 --> 02:28:03

to a child

02:28:04 --> 02:28:06

as opposed to the other children.

02:28:06 --> 02:28:09

Does this also apply for akhirah matters? Like,

02:28:09 --> 02:28:10

for example, if they memorize

02:28:11 --> 02:28:13

more Quran than the other person.

02:28:14 --> 02:28:16

So does that still apply? Yeah. It still

02:28:16 --> 02:28:16

applied.

02:28:17 --> 02:28:17

Any,

02:28:18 --> 02:28:21

Subhan Allah, achievement they are making in their

02:28:21 --> 02:28:21

life,

02:28:22 --> 02:28:23

don't reward,

02:28:24 --> 02:28:26

you know, one of them and neglects the

02:28:26 --> 02:28:27

other one. Unless if you already put it

02:28:27 --> 02:28:29

as a as a condition. Let's say you

02:28:29 --> 02:28:31

will make it as a competition

02:28:31 --> 02:28:34

between them. That yes, I want you guys

02:28:34 --> 02:28:36

to memorize the book of Allah and whoever

02:28:36 --> 02:28:38

memorizes the book of Allah

02:28:38 --> 02:28:39

has this.

02:28:39 --> 02:28:42

So they are raising each other. Whoever finish

02:28:42 --> 02:28:44

you will get. So the rest they know

02:28:44 --> 02:28:47

that you are not giving them because they

02:28:47 --> 02:28:49

did not qualify the conditions. Because it's not

02:28:49 --> 02:28:52

Wajib upon you to give. But randomly, I'm

02:28:52 --> 02:28:53

just coming. I I want to please my

02:28:53 --> 02:28:55

kids without doing anything or just because they

02:28:55 --> 02:28:56

they pass the exams.

02:28:57 --> 02:28:59

It shouldn't make any difference. But for this

02:28:59 --> 02:29:02

one, the competition on the matters, if that

02:29:02 --> 02:29:04

competition is good. In the memorization of the

02:29:04 --> 02:29:05

Quran, it's good for you to do it

02:29:05 --> 02:29:07

in that way. Inshallah.

02:29:07 --> 02:29:10

But other religious matters is not good. Don't

02:29:10 --> 02:29:12

reward your kids for whatever righteousness they are

02:29:12 --> 02:29:15

doing. You are training them to do it

02:29:15 --> 02:29:17

for the sake of the dunya.

02:29:17 --> 02:29:18

You know, you're training them to do it

02:29:18 --> 02:29:20

for the sake of the dunya. You know?

02:29:22 --> 02:29:23

Last question.

02:29:24 --> 02:29:25

Shay, what do we make with the

02:29:26 --> 02:29:27

from Saul to Yusuf?

02:29:34 --> 02:29:37

Because that was a situation that Yakub found

02:29:37 --> 02:29:39

himself. And there's a very good, actually, example

02:29:39 --> 02:29:41

that we need to understand correctly

02:29:41 --> 02:29:44

to see the danger of favoring some of

02:29:44 --> 02:29:46

the kids, you know, in anything.

02:29:48 --> 02:29:50

He loved Yusuf more than

02:29:50 --> 02:29:52

the rest of the siblings. True?

02:29:53 --> 02:29:54

Salaam. True? Yes.

02:29:55 --> 02:29:58

And Subhan Allah, this love, you know, refused

02:29:58 --> 02:29:59

to be hidden.

02:30:00 --> 02:30:01

Why? Because it's not easy to know that

02:30:01 --> 02:30:03

this son of yours is a prophet of

02:30:03 --> 02:30:03

Allah

02:30:05 --> 02:30:06

He was a prophet and he knows that

02:30:06 --> 02:30:08

among his kids, this one also is going

02:30:08 --> 02:30:09

to be a prophet.

02:30:09 --> 02:30:10

So

02:30:10 --> 02:30:12

he loves him so much. And the way

02:30:12 --> 02:30:14

the rest of the kids, they know this.

02:30:15 --> 02:30:17

And that caused Yusuf alaihi salaam a lot.

02:30:18 --> 02:30:20

They plotted against him. You already know the

02:30:20 --> 02:30:21

story, right?

02:30:22 --> 02:30:25

They plan to kill. Allah protected him.

02:30:26 --> 02:30:28

That's why this call is set. We shouldn't

02:30:28 --> 02:30:29

do that.

02:30:30 --> 02:30:33

To claim that you love your kids equally,

02:30:33 --> 02:30:34

Is it possible?

02:30:36 --> 02:30:38

Is it possible to love your children equally?

02:30:41 --> 02:30:43

Is it possible to love them equally? It's

02:30:43 --> 02:30:44

not possible.

02:30:45 --> 02:30:45

Yeah.

02:30:46 --> 02:30:49

You get it? It's not possible because love

02:30:49 --> 02:30:51

is an act of the heart.

02:30:52 --> 02:30:54

Yeah. They have different behaviors. They have different

02:30:54 --> 02:30:55

attitude. They have different needs.

02:30:56 --> 02:30:58

You know, sometimes you value you find yourself

02:30:58 --> 02:31:00

inclining towards this one more than the other

02:31:00 --> 02:31:03

one. So what is wrong is to let

02:31:03 --> 02:31:05

the rest of the kids knowing that you

02:31:05 --> 02:31:07

love this one more than the other one.

02:31:08 --> 02:31:10

But that which is in your heart, only

02:31:10 --> 02:31:12

you knows about that. You will not be

02:31:12 --> 02:31:14

held responsible. It will not affect the kids.

02:31:14 --> 02:31:16

But the moment you started acting upon that

02:31:16 --> 02:31:18

love which is in your heart,

02:31:19 --> 02:31:21

you're going to be favoring this one over

02:31:21 --> 02:31:24

the rest. So you're putting this person into

02:31:24 --> 02:31:24

trouble.

02:31:25 --> 02:31:28

And they're going to be very rebellious against

02:31:28 --> 02:31:29

you.

02:31:30 --> 02:31:31

The moment they can tell you when they

02:31:31 --> 02:31:33

grow older, they will start also resisting

02:31:34 --> 02:31:36

and telling you how they feel when you

02:31:36 --> 02:31:37

favor this one.

02:31:38 --> 02:31:41

And you're not doing good, good to the

02:31:41 --> 02:31:42

to the child because when you die

02:31:43 --> 02:31:46

when you die what will happen? They will

02:31:46 --> 02:31:48

show their true picture and true image to

02:31:48 --> 02:31:50

this one that you used to love. Yeah.

02:31:50 --> 02:31:52

They would tell him, your father used to

02:31:52 --> 02:31:54

favor you, now let's see. What would you

02:31:54 --> 02:31:55

do to live and to survive?

02:31:56 --> 02:31:59

So that's why you have to do everything

02:31:59 --> 02:32:02

possible to help the kids to be one

02:32:02 --> 02:32:04

family, to have the unity amongst them.

02:32:04 --> 02:32:07

Because they can't succeed if this unity is

02:32:07 --> 02:32:08

is not in existence.

02:32:10 --> 02:32:11

Her father was trying

02:32:12 --> 02:32:14

to explain to his kids the importance of

02:32:14 --> 02:32:15

the unity.

02:32:16 --> 02:32:17

He brought

02:32:19 --> 02:32:20

he asked them to

02:32:20 --> 02:32:21

to bring

02:32:21 --> 02:32:22

stick.

02:32:24 --> 02:32:25

Everyone of them should bring a piece of

02:32:25 --> 02:32:26

stick.

02:32:27 --> 02:32:29

When they reach him, he took the stick

02:32:29 --> 02:32:31

from from them. He put them all together

02:32:31 --> 02:32:34

in one place. He tie them, and then

02:32:34 --> 02:32:36

he give it to the first child. He

02:32:36 --> 02:32:38

asked him to break the, yeah,

02:32:40 --> 02:32:41

to break the stick.

02:32:42 --> 02:32:43

He couldn't. Give it to the second one,

02:32:43 --> 02:32:45

he couldn't. 3rd one, he couldn't.

02:32:46 --> 02:32:47

It goes through all of them.

02:32:48 --> 02:32:50

And then he said, okay, give me the

02:32:50 --> 02:32:50

stick.

02:32:51 --> 02:32:52

They gave him those bunch of sticks and

02:32:52 --> 02:32:54

he untie the sticks and he gave each

02:32:54 --> 02:32:55

one of them one stick.

02:32:56 --> 02:32:57

And he asked them to break it.

02:32:58 --> 02:32:59

Very easy they broke everything.

02:33:00 --> 02:33:01

Yeah.

02:33:02 --> 02:33:04

So he told them, I want you to

02:33:04 --> 02:33:04

be united.

02:33:06 --> 02:33:07

And this is your situation when you are

02:33:07 --> 02:33:09

united. You see the way you couldn't break

02:33:09 --> 02:33:10

the stick?

02:33:10 --> 02:33:13

An enemy from outside cannot break you when

02:33:13 --> 02:33:13

you are together.

02:33:14 --> 02:33:17

And trust me, if you don't do this,

02:33:17 --> 02:33:18

you know, for the kids, you help them

02:33:18 --> 02:33:20

to do this, you know, through your actions,

02:33:20 --> 02:33:22

if you are making, you know, differences in

02:33:22 --> 02:33:24

terms of the gift you are giving them,

02:33:24 --> 02:33:27

trust me, that unity will not exist. And

02:33:27 --> 02:33:29

that will be the beginning of the fashion

02:33:29 --> 02:33:31

And somebody to win against them when you

02:33:31 --> 02:33:33

live this life. Yeah. When you are alive,

02:33:33 --> 02:33:35

you will be their protector but when you

02:33:35 --> 02:33:36

live this life, nobody is to do it

02:33:36 --> 02:33:38

for them except themselves and they are not

02:33:38 --> 02:33:39

united.

02:33:39 --> 02:33:42

They will be cooperating against each other to

02:33:42 --> 02:33:42

make sure that

02:33:43 --> 02:33:44

that person fails.

02:33:45 --> 02:33:47

Because I don't like you. Yeah. So it

02:33:47 --> 02:33:50

is necessary when I make gifts to equate

02:33:50 --> 02:33:52

amongst my kids and not to show any

02:33:52 --> 02:33:54

one of them that I love his brother

02:33:55 --> 02:33:57

more than the way I I love him.

02:33:57 --> 02:33:58

And that's why as a father,

02:33:59 --> 02:34:00

who do you side with?

02:34:01 --> 02:34:02

All of your kids.

02:34:03 --> 02:34:05

All of your kids. Side with the kids.

02:34:05 --> 02:34:08

All of them. Even when one of them

02:34:08 --> 02:34:08

is wrong,

02:34:09 --> 02:34:12

you also side with him. You fix him

02:34:12 --> 02:34:14

and you convince the other one that this

02:34:14 --> 02:34:16

is his brother. He shouldn't fight or hate

02:34:16 --> 02:34:17

your brother.

02:34:17 --> 02:34:18

What he did, I agree with you is

02:34:18 --> 02:34:20

wrong and it has to be fixed. And

02:34:20 --> 02:34:22

I will remind him. I will talk to

02:34:22 --> 02:34:24

him and ask him to apologize to him.

02:34:25 --> 02:34:27

Yeah. But don't show any negative behavior towards

02:34:27 --> 02:34:29

the one who did the wrong thing. You

02:34:29 --> 02:34:31

know, teach him how to behave well in

02:34:31 --> 02:34:33

in the future in a nice way. Yeah.

02:34:33 --> 02:34:34

Last

02:34:34 --> 02:34:36

is good. Yes. Next question.

02:34:51 --> 02:34:51

No. Because

02:34:52 --> 02:34:54

Yusuf alaihi salam, he's coming from the other

02:34:54 --> 02:34:55

wife of.

02:34:57 --> 02:34:57

From that side,

02:34:58 --> 02:35:00

we're not told that there was any prophet.

02:35:01 --> 02:35:03

From the wife that she has prophet,

02:35:04 --> 02:35:06

for sure, the behavior of the husband, you

02:35:06 --> 02:35:07

know.

02:35:08 --> 02:35:09

He got a profit from her.

02:35:10 --> 02:35:12

Yeah. So Yakub couldn't control. Although he's not

02:35:12 --> 02:35:14

committing injustice against the other one, but, you

02:35:14 --> 02:35:17

know, loving that side of the family that,

02:35:17 --> 02:35:19

got him a profit, which is a gift

02:35:19 --> 02:35:19

from Allah

02:35:24 --> 02:35:25

in the way he wishes.

02:35:26 --> 02:35:28

So that's why when he loves

02:35:28 --> 02:35:30

that part of the family and it was

02:35:30 --> 02:35:32

only Yusuf and his brother.

02:35:33 --> 02:35:35

But it wasn't because Binyamin was a prophet

02:35:35 --> 02:35:35

of Allah's.

02:35:36 --> 02:35:38

I've never come across a place where Binyamin

02:35:38 --> 02:35:39

is mentioned to be a prophet.

02:35:40 --> 02:35:43

You get it? Yeah. The only Asbat even

02:35:43 --> 02:35:45

Asbat, the correct opinion,

02:35:45 --> 02:35:48

As but actually they are not the

02:35:49 --> 02:35:51

they are not the children of

02:35:51 --> 02:35:53

Yakob Alai Salam.

02:35:53 --> 02:35:55

They are not the children of Yakob.

02:36:02 --> 02:36:04

Amongst them you have the prophet, amongst them

02:36:04 --> 02:36:06

you have non prophet, you have Salihin, you

02:36:06 --> 02:36:07

have Palihin, you have all types.

02:36:08 --> 02:36:11

But the brothers, the siblings of Yusuf alaihi

02:36:11 --> 02:36:12

wasallam were not told

02:36:13 --> 02:36:14

that any one of them was a prophet

02:36:14 --> 02:36:15

of Allah, except

02:36:16 --> 02:36:18

except, what do you call it?

02:36:19 --> 02:36:21

Otherwise, when the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam was

02:36:21 --> 02:36:23

asked who is the best person?

02:36:24 --> 02:36:25

You see, he said Yusuf.

02:36:26 --> 02:36:28

Otherwise he would say Yusuf and Binyami.

02:36:28 --> 02:36:30

But he said Yusuf and his salah. Because

02:36:30 --> 02:36:32

he thought they were asking him about the

02:36:32 --> 02:36:32

lineage.

02:36:33 --> 02:36:35

He said Yusuf was a prophet of Allah,

02:36:35 --> 02:36:37

the son of a prophet, the son of

02:36:37 --> 02:36:39

the prophet, the son of Khalilur Rahman, Ibrahim

02:36:39 --> 02:36:42

alaihi salam. Nobody has this lineage like Yusuf

02:36:42 --> 02:36:44

alaihi salam. He was a prophet. His father

02:36:44 --> 02:36:46

was a prophet, Yaqub Alaihi

02:36:47 --> 02:36:49

Salam. The father of Yaqub was a prophet,

02:36:49 --> 02:36:51

Ishaq Alaihi Salam, and the father of Ishaq

02:36:51 --> 02:36:53

was a prophet, Ibrahim Alaihi

02:36:54 --> 02:36:56

Salam. Nobody is like that. Yeah. That's why

02:36:56 --> 02:36:57

he was asked. Who's the best? He said,

02:36:57 --> 02:36:59

yeah, Yusuf Alaihi Salam.

02:36:59 --> 02:37:02

You get it? So if Binyamin was also

02:37:02 --> 02:37:04

a prophet, he would say, you Yusuf and

02:37:04 --> 02:37:04

Binyamin.

02:37:05 --> 02:37:08

Or Yusuf and the the the the siblings

02:37:08 --> 02:37:09

of Yusuf.

02:37:10 --> 02:37:11

You get it? And also they are not

02:37:11 --> 02:37:13

Aswab. These are the children, the immediate children.

02:37:13 --> 02:37:16

They are not Aswab because Sibbet is the

02:37:16 --> 02:37:16

grandchild.

02:37:17 --> 02:37:19

You get it? Is the grandchild,

02:37:21 --> 02:37:21

you know.

02:37:24 --> 02:37:24

Any

02:37:25 --> 02:37:25

other question?

02:37:29 --> 02:37:31

My question is, come from a place where,

02:37:31 --> 02:37:34

Christianity is more prevalent than, Islam.

02:37:34 --> 02:37:36

It's a a very hard to find a

02:37:36 --> 02:37:39

dual, mode of, education when it comes to

02:37:39 --> 02:37:41

educating their kids like,

02:37:41 --> 02:37:43

they're either left with the choice of being,

02:37:44 --> 02:37:46

in a secular education Enough. And, or either

02:37:46 --> 02:37:49

choosing the Islamic education. Yeah. And most of

02:37:49 --> 02:37:52

their parents, like, the Muslim demographic is mostly

02:37:52 --> 02:37:52

made by,

02:37:54 --> 02:37:54

reverse.

02:37:55 --> 02:37:56

Like, they don't have, like, they don't fit

02:37:56 --> 02:37:58

the qualities that you cited,

02:37:58 --> 02:38:02

that, someone that is giving should have. So

02:38:02 --> 02:38:04

in this place, they are either choosing to

02:38:04 --> 02:38:06

start with a secular education

02:38:06 --> 02:38:09

or either to start with Islamic education in

02:38:09 --> 02:38:11

which if they choose 1 or about the

02:38:11 --> 02:38:13

others, they have to compromise the other. If

02:38:13 --> 02:38:14

they choose the secular education,

02:38:15 --> 02:38:15

they,

02:38:16 --> 02:38:18

will be left behind in Islamic education. If

02:38:18 --> 02:38:20

they choose the Islamic education,

02:38:20 --> 02:38:22

they'd be left behind in the dunya, which

02:38:22 --> 02:38:24

is also much more important.

02:38:24 --> 02:38:26

What's the best way to deal with this

02:38:26 --> 02:38:28

one? Put that through. The first thing is,

02:38:29 --> 02:38:31

as I said earlier, to leave that territory.

02:38:31 --> 02:38:33

Go and live in the Muslim community, whereby

02:38:33 --> 02:38:36

he finds places that are combining both

02:38:36 --> 02:38:39

Dunia and, Islamic education.

02:38:39 --> 02:38:41

And actually this is just to

02:38:43 --> 02:38:45

mention some details. Otherwise,

02:38:46 --> 02:38:48

when you are preserving the religious education also

02:38:48 --> 02:38:49

you are going to be preserving the the

02:38:49 --> 02:38:50

junior

02:38:50 --> 02:38:51

education.

02:38:52 --> 02:38:53

And, this is one of the topics that

02:38:53 --> 02:38:54

I,

02:38:54 --> 02:38:57

wanted to, discuss, the topic of the place

02:38:57 --> 02:38:59

of the education of my kids and the

02:38:59 --> 02:39:00

role of the

02:39:00 --> 02:39:03

school. What role the school should be should

02:39:03 --> 02:39:03

be playing?

02:39:04 --> 02:39:07

And unfortunately, even the Muslim territories, not even

02:39:07 --> 02:39:09

the most the place where you mentioned, non

02:39:09 --> 02:39:12

Muslim territories where it is not easy for

02:39:12 --> 02:39:13

you to find an Islamic,

02:39:14 --> 02:39:17

any oriented education. It's not easy to found,

02:39:17 --> 02:39:19

to be found in those places. But even

02:39:19 --> 02:39:21

in the Muslim territories, what kind of education

02:39:21 --> 02:39:23

do we have? Like what I told you,

02:39:24 --> 02:39:26

our history is based on Copart history.

02:39:26 --> 02:39:28

Many things that we take, we are taking

02:39:28 --> 02:39:29

from them. We don't have our own establishment.

02:39:30 --> 02:39:32

And also the the

02:39:33 --> 02:39:35

the kind of Terbia and the people who

02:39:35 --> 02:39:37

are educating our kids, they are the people

02:39:37 --> 02:39:40

that we know. Doing things for the sake

02:39:40 --> 02:39:40

of business.

02:39:41 --> 02:39:42

There's no amount in education.

02:39:43 --> 02:39:45

That's why an ideal school, which I believe

02:39:45 --> 02:39:47

it is possible to have a school, and

02:39:47 --> 02:39:49

we need it because many of the homeschooling

02:39:49 --> 02:39:52

is good. It's excellent to have homeschooling. It's

02:39:52 --> 02:39:52

interesting,

02:39:53 --> 02:39:55

you know. I also tried it at one

02:39:55 --> 02:39:57

point of time. I found it very interesting.

02:39:57 --> 02:39:59

It's so heavy. If you wanted, you have

02:39:59 --> 02:40:01

to invest a lot, much more than what

02:40:01 --> 02:40:03

you're investing in the

02:40:03 --> 02:40:05

in the school. Because if I if I

02:40:05 --> 02:40:06

go to school,

02:40:06 --> 02:40:08

I pay a few 1,000,

02:40:08 --> 02:40:10

you know, for the whole year, for the

02:40:10 --> 02:40:12

kids. If I'm gonna take somebody to

02:40:13 --> 02:40:16

tutor and educate my kids, each person I

02:40:16 --> 02:40:18

have to take many people. Each person I

02:40:18 --> 02:40:20

have to pay him, sometimes, you know, almost

02:40:20 --> 02:40:22

half of what I'm going to be paying

02:40:22 --> 02:40:23

in the school. And every Monday, I will

02:40:23 --> 02:40:24

be paying this.

02:40:25 --> 02:40:27

Collectively, if you count calculate how much you're

02:40:27 --> 02:40:29

paying is a lot a lot. But it's

02:40:29 --> 02:40:30

worth it.

02:40:30 --> 02:40:33

No problem. But these are the rare situations

02:40:33 --> 02:40:33

whereby,

02:40:34 --> 02:40:35

you know, a person is doing it in

02:40:35 --> 02:40:36

the right way.

02:40:36 --> 02:40:37

However,

02:40:37 --> 02:40:40

in the vast majority of the cases, the

02:40:40 --> 02:40:42

wife is not qualified to educate. The husband

02:40:42 --> 02:40:44

is not qualified to educate. So what kind

02:40:44 --> 02:40:46

of homeschooling are we giving them? That means

02:40:46 --> 02:40:48

we have to bring somebody else to to

02:40:48 --> 02:40:51

interfere. This person, if he is not having

02:40:51 --> 02:40:53

the good terbia we need, trust me, this

02:40:53 --> 02:40:55

is very dangerous because it's gonna be 1

02:40:55 --> 02:40:59

on 1. You know, he's personally addressing your

02:40:59 --> 02:40:59

kids.

02:41:00 --> 02:41:02

Actually worse than when you put your kids

02:41:02 --> 02:41:04

in that environment because the teacher is not

02:41:04 --> 02:41:06

addressing only 1. He's addressing everyone.

02:41:07 --> 02:41:09

The impact is going to be very, very

02:41:09 --> 02:41:09

low.

02:41:10 --> 02:41:12

If we if you are to bring somebody

02:41:12 --> 02:41:14

who will be having direct contact to a

02:41:14 --> 02:41:14

child,

02:41:15 --> 02:41:17

trust me, the influence of this person, if

02:41:17 --> 02:41:19

he is not righteous, he's gonna be much

02:41:19 --> 02:41:21

stronger than what he might be getting from

02:41:21 --> 02:41:23

the from the school.

02:41:23 --> 02:41:25

You get it? So sometimes we gather them

02:41:25 --> 02:41:27

in one place. Somebody's coming to teach them.

02:41:27 --> 02:41:29

If there is no proper supervision, trust me,

02:41:29 --> 02:41:31

let's be honest to ourselves. What is the

02:41:31 --> 02:41:33

difference between this and the school then?

02:41:34 --> 02:41:36

This is also another another school.

02:41:37 --> 02:41:39

Right? Because we gather them in a place,

02:41:39 --> 02:41:41

and we bring all the teachers to come.

02:41:41 --> 02:41:42

What do we have in the school?

02:41:43 --> 02:41:45

Also kids being gathered in the place, and

02:41:45 --> 02:41:46

teachers are coming from all over the place

02:41:46 --> 02:41:47

and teaching.

02:41:48 --> 02:41:50

And also when we gather them in a

02:41:50 --> 02:41:52

place, and we're teaching them the same system

02:41:52 --> 02:41:54

that we are hating. We teach them the

02:41:54 --> 02:41:56

same thing. What are we doing?

02:41:57 --> 02:41:59

That's why I found it interested what one

02:41:59 --> 02:42:00

of them said.

02:42:00 --> 02:42:02

He wasn't even a Muslim. He said it's

02:42:02 --> 02:42:03

just you

02:42:04 --> 02:42:07

giving the government relief rather than the government

02:42:07 --> 02:42:09

teaching your kids but now you are doing

02:42:09 --> 02:42:10

the responsibility of the government. Wallahi,

02:42:18 --> 02:42:19

there is a big need to have a

02:42:20 --> 02:42:21

Wallahi, there is a big need to have

02:42:21 --> 02:42:23

a suitable environment for our kids.

02:42:24 --> 02:42:27

You gotta compromise a lot. Sometimes the kids

02:42:27 --> 02:42:29

when they are at home, always at home.

02:42:29 --> 02:42:32

The behavior sometimes become weird.

02:42:32 --> 02:42:35

Because the parent are not giving them, you

02:42:35 --> 02:42:37

know, the other alternative.

02:42:38 --> 02:42:39

You know, I mean, the other, you know,

02:42:39 --> 02:42:41

thing they need, which is to mingle with

02:42:41 --> 02:42:42

other people,

02:42:43 --> 02:42:44

to grow their smartness,

02:42:45 --> 02:42:47

you know, and to be matured properly. They

02:42:47 --> 02:42:49

don't have this. They always be at home

02:42:49 --> 02:42:50

with their parent.

02:42:51 --> 02:42:53

That's why the level of their experience is

02:42:53 --> 02:42:55

gonna be very low. You see them being

02:42:55 --> 02:42:58

very shy, you know, so much shy. They

02:42:58 --> 02:42:59

cannot be productive outside.

02:43:00 --> 02:43:01

Why? Because they don't go outside.

02:43:02 --> 02:43:04

You get it? So that's why it is

02:43:04 --> 02:43:04

necessary.

02:43:05 --> 02:43:07

Kids are not meant to be at home

02:43:07 --> 02:43:09

all the time. They are supposed to go

02:43:09 --> 02:43:10

out and mix with others.

02:43:10 --> 02:43:13

So we have to create that environment for

02:43:13 --> 02:43:14

them to have a good place to preserve

02:43:14 --> 02:43:17

their akida. And that's why having

02:43:17 --> 02:43:19

our kind of education

02:43:19 --> 02:43:20

is necessary.

02:43:21 --> 02:43:23

Okay. Having our kind of education is necessary.

02:43:24 --> 02:43:24

Whereby,

02:43:25 --> 02:43:26

we excel in both

02:43:27 --> 02:43:28

dunya

02:43:28 --> 02:43:29

and the Aka.

02:43:29 --> 02:43:30

Please

02:43:30 --> 02:43:32

take note on this, you know, not necessarily

02:43:32 --> 02:43:34

writing but put in your brain.

02:43:34 --> 02:43:36

Dunia and Aka and we're maintaining

02:43:37 --> 02:43:39

the balance, you know, between both.

02:43:40 --> 02:43:41

Whereby my child

02:43:42 --> 02:43:44

will graduate from primary school after finishing the

02:43:44 --> 02:43:45

book of Allah and

02:43:46 --> 02:43:49

all the necessary Islamic studies he needs

02:43:50 --> 02:43:52

to become a mini scholar.

02:43:52 --> 02:43:54

He has it before he graduate from the

02:43:54 --> 02:43:56

from the secondary school.

02:43:57 --> 02:43:59

Tell me, which school is like this?

02:44:00 --> 02:44:01

By the time the child goes to the

02:44:01 --> 02:44:02

university,

02:44:02 --> 02:44:03

he's well mannered,

02:44:04 --> 02:44:07

excellent in terms of junior education, and excellent

02:44:07 --> 02:44:09

in terms of academic

02:44:09 --> 02:44:11

education. And we teach the the the kids

02:44:11 --> 02:44:14

also the respect. I told you, nowadays, if

02:44:14 --> 02:44:15

you go to the exam centers, go

02:44:16 --> 02:44:18

go to go to the exam center on

02:44:18 --> 02:44:20

the day students are writing their exams of

02:44:20 --> 02:44:22

Arabic or Islamic studies.

02:44:23 --> 02:44:24

Trust me. I don't want to swear by

02:44:24 --> 02:44:27

Allah but trust me. You'll find only a

02:44:27 --> 02:44:29

few or nobody is there.

02:44:30 --> 02:44:32

And this school is called an Islamic

02:44:32 --> 02:44:33

school.

02:44:34 --> 02:44:36

No child is going for Islamic studies.

02:44:37 --> 02:44:39

What message are we sending them?

02:44:40 --> 02:44:42

That this is not important. But everyone has

02:44:42 --> 02:44:43

to go.

02:44:43 --> 02:44:46

And sit for for math. Everyone has to

02:44:46 --> 02:44:47

go

02:44:47 --> 02:44:50

and do math. Everyone has to go and

02:44:50 --> 02:44:52

do English. Everyone has to go and do

02:44:52 --> 02:44:55

so many other things which are purely dunya

02:44:56 --> 02:44:58

things. It's mandatory. You cannot escape that. But

02:44:58 --> 02:45:00

when it comes to Islamic studies, these are

02:45:00 --> 02:45:03

personal matters. It's a matter of choice. So

02:45:03 --> 02:45:04

what kind of message the school is is

02:45:04 --> 02:45:05

sending?

02:45:06 --> 02:45:08

We don't need this kind of school. We

02:45:08 --> 02:45:10

don't need this type of schools. We need

02:45:10 --> 02:45:12

the school that maintain both. And also as

02:45:12 --> 02:45:14

far as discipline is concerned, we have to

02:45:14 --> 02:45:15

be very serious.

02:45:16 --> 02:45:19

That's why we shouldn't have a business

02:45:19 --> 02:45:22

mentality when we are establishing a school.

02:45:24 --> 02:45:25

Yeah, I know it's very difficult and very

02:45:25 --> 02:45:27

tough, but we shouldn't have business mentality.

02:45:28 --> 02:45:29

If business is the one that is leading

02:45:29 --> 02:45:32

us, trust me, we will not be able

02:45:32 --> 02:45:33

to keep that manner

02:45:34 --> 02:45:36

correctly. We will always be focusing on that

02:45:36 --> 02:45:37

which bring more customers

02:45:38 --> 02:45:39

because we call the students

02:45:40 --> 02:45:40

customers.

02:45:41 --> 02:45:44

So business mentality should be avoided. It should

02:45:44 --> 02:45:47

be based on how to create and produce

02:45:47 --> 02:45:50

leaders. People who maintain balance in both Dunia

02:45:50 --> 02:45:53

and the Akhirah. That's why an ideal school

02:45:53 --> 02:45:55

is a place where you have a strong

02:45:55 --> 02:45:56

counseling department

02:45:57 --> 02:46:00

and strong discipline dis department, and you have

02:46:00 --> 02:46:03

people that you appoint, you know, to be

02:46:03 --> 02:46:05

in the school, not as teachers

02:46:06 --> 02:46:07

coming to the classroom teaching.

02:46:07 --> 02:46:09

For this one, they are just in the

02:46:09 --> 02:46:10

school.

02:46:11 --> 02:46:13

Their job is to make sure that every

02:46:13 --> 02:46:15

student is behaving well.

02:46:17 --> 02:46:19

Which school is like that? Only a few.

02:46:19 --> 02:46:20

And even the one I know is they

02:46:20 --> 02:46:23

started being very negligent. Before it was very

02:46:23 --> 02:46:25

seriously done by them, but now no more.

02:46:27 --> 02:46:30

That's why I said business mentality shouldn't be

02:46:30 --> 02:46:31

shouldn't be there.

02:46:31 --> 02:46:33

So we invest in our kids.

02:46:34 --> 02:46:35

We can charge people whatever we want to

02:46:35 --> 02:46:38

charge to support the teachers so that they

02:46:38 --> 02:46:39

can have free time to do what they're

02:46:39 --> 02:46:42

supposed to be doing. And on top of

02:46:42 --> 02:46:44

all, who to teach my child?

02:46:45 --> 02:46:47

Who to teach my child?

02:46:47 --> 02:46:48

Usually,

02:46:48 --> 02:46:50

we select teachers based on what?

02:46:52 --> 02:46:54

The CV. Right? Yeah. He told us he's

02:46:54 --> 02:46:55

this and that and then that's it. We

02:46:55 --> 02:46:57

come to the interview, we interview him.

02:46:59 --> 02:46:59

Just come.

02:47:00 --> 02:47:02

No, it shouldn't be like that. You Allah.

02:47:02 --> 02:47:05

In a school like this, the teachers have

02:47:05 --> 02:47:07

to be selected based on merits and manners.

02:47:08 --> 02:47:10

He teaches biology but he has to be

02:47:10 --> 02:47:12

upon the big and respect to the Sharia

02:47:12 --> 02:47:15

of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So that there

02:47:15 --> 02:47:17

will be no contradiction between what he is

02:47:17 --> 02:47:19

doing and what an Islamic study teacher is

02:47:19 --> 02:47:22

doing. And also in his biology class, he's

02:47:22 --> 02:47:24

not going to teach them biology alone. He

02:47:24 --> 02:47:26

incorporate that with the terbiyah.

02:47:26 --> 02:47:29

Every single person should be rugby in the

02:47:29 --> 02:47:30

in the in the classroom.

02:47:31 --> 02:47:32

Which school is like this?

02:47:32 --> 02:47:34

In some schools, trust me, they don't care

02:47:34 --> 02:47:36

just to finish the syllabus. Somebody told me

02:47:36 --> 02:47:38

he was teaching 1 of the schools. He

02:47:38 --> 02:47:40

said the management in this school just care

02:47:40 --> 02:47:43

about finishing the syllabus. As long as you

02:47:43 --> 02:47:45

finish, what are you teaching the student? They

02:47:45 --> 02:47:47

do they understand? They don't understand. It's okay.

02:47:47 --> 02:47:49

But just make sure nobody fails in the

02:47:49 --> 02:47:49

end.

02:47:51 --> 02:47:53

So, as a teacher, if I don't have

02:47:53 --> 02:47:55

Amana, when they write the exams, what do

02:47:55 --> 02:47:58

I do? Just pass everyone. That's it. But

02:47:58 --> 02:47:59

as far as knowledge is concerned and tell

02:47:59 --> 02:48:01

me that they have, they have nothing.

02:48:02 --> 02:48:04

So we need to provide a good

02:48:04 --> 02:48:05

environment.

02:48:05 --> 02:48:07

I take it as a fire.

02:48:08 --> 02:48:11

Having these type of schools is means

02:48:14 --> 02:48:15

if they don't exist,

02:48:16 --> 02:48:19

anyone who is responsible will be sinning until

02:48:19 --> 02:48:20

the time we fix it.

02:48:21 --> 02:48:23

You get it? Yeah. But we don't need

02:48:23 --> 02:48:25

what we have nowadays. We need a a

02:48:25 --> 02:48:26

school that is responsible.

02:48:27 --> 02:48:28

You know, to replace what we have in

02:48:28 --> 02:48:31

at home. Because in many homes, we go

02:48:31 --> 02:48:34

for the homeschooling, but we lose our kids.

02:48:35 --> 02:48:36

Because we are not capable to give them

02:48:36 --> 02:48:38

what they need. They lost home and they

02:48:38 --> 02:48:39

lost the school.

02:48:40 --> 02:48:42

So back to the question of the questioner,

02:48:42 --> 02:48:43

in this type of environment,

02:48:44 --> 02:48:46

the first suggestion is to leave the environment

02:48:46 --> 02:48:48

back to the Muslim territories. That's the first,

02:48:48 --> 02:48:49

solution.

02:48:50 --> 02:48:52

And if this is not possible, then they

02:48:52 --> 02:48:54

have no any other choice except to favor

02:48:55 --> 02:48:57

the cause and the reason why they exist.

02:48:57 --> 02:48:59

I know it's very bitter, but that's the

02:48:59 --> 02:49:01

only solution Islamically for them to do, is

02:49:01 --> 02:49:04

to compromise the dunya side and to go

02:49:04 --> 02:49:04

with the akhirah

02:49:05 --> 02:49:07

while also thinking of how to bring the

02:49:07 --> 02:49:10

dunya in the in the near future. But

02:49:10 --> 02:49:12

they have to compromise the dunya side

02:49:12 --> 02:49:14

side and go to the to the Akhla

02:49:14 --> 02:49:16

side and put them in the Islamic places

02:49:16 --> 02:49:17

if they are truly Islamic.

02:49:19 --> 02:49:21

And I guess no matter how much bad

02:49:21 --> 02:49:23

they are, they would not be equal to

02:49:23 --> 02:49:25

the non Muslim schools because, you know, in

02:49:25 --> 02:49:27

the schools we teach also values,

02:49:28 --> 02:49:30

You know? I remember a person,

02:49:30 --> 02:49:33

his child comes back home. You know? He

02:49:33 --> 02:49:35

got a visitor. So, you know, the children

02:49:35 --> 02:49:38

sometimes, they go to the to the guest.

02:49:38 --> 02:49:41

So this boy was with the guest. You

02:49:41 --> 02:49:43

know? He was with the guest. And then

02:49:43 --> 02:49:44

he was talking to the guest.

02:49:45 --> 02:49:47

He wrote something. He drew something, and he

02:49:47 --> 02:49:49

told the guest this is true, Suriya.

02:49:49 --> 02:49:50

He drew he drew something,

02:49:51 --> 02:49:53

you know, and then he told the guest,

02:49:53 --> 02:49:56

this is my Lord. This is the one

02:49:56 --> 02:49:56

we worship,

02:49:57 --> 02:49:59

you Allah. Told him this is the one

02:49:59 --> 02:49:59

we worship.

02:50:00 --> 02:50:01

This guest kept quiet.

02:50:02 --> 02:50:04

He held the picture. He said, oh,

02:50:04 --> 02:50:06

thank you. So he kept it. Until the

02:50:06 --> 02:50:08

time, the host is there busy preparing the

02:50:08 --> 02:50:11

food and everything. So when he came, he

02:50:11 --> 02:50:12

told him,

02:50:13 --> 02:50:15

we really are facing a problem. He said,

02:50:15 --> 02:50:16

what is that? He said,

02:50:17 --> 02:50:19

do you know what is this? He said,

02:50:19 --> 02:50:21

no. He said, this is what my your

02:50:21 --> 02:50:24

child just drew, and he told me this

02:50:24 --> 02:50:25

is what they they're worshiping.

02:50:26 --> 02:50:27

And I asked him, where do you get

02:50:27 --> 02:50:29

that? He said, the teacher in the school

02:50:29 --> 02:50:30

told me this.

02:50:31 --> 02:50:33

Because he's studying a non Muslim school, you

02:50:33 --> 02:50:35

know. He said, the teacher told me this.

02:50:36 --> 02:50:38

Yeah. The same goes to a Muslim school,

02:50:38 --> 02:50:40

although they don't tell him worship this person,

02:50:41 --> 02:50:42

but the teacher teaching him

02:50:43 --> 02:50:46

wrong things, you know, wrong values, wrong aqidah.

02:50:47 --> 02:50:50

And trust me, they trust their teachers more

02:50:50 --> 02:50:52

than you because you don't create that good

02:50:52 --> 02:50:53

environment at home.

02:50:53 --> 02:50:55

So they will be coming they're going to

02:50:55 --> 02:50:56

become munafiqin

02:50:57 --> 02:50:59

in your presence. When you're there, they're good.

02:50:59 --> 02:51:01

But when they go out of your place,

02:51:02 --> 02:51:03

they are somebody else.

02:51:03 --> 02:51:05

Yeah. So my answer to that question is

02:51:05 --> 02:51:07

this person, he has to leave this country,

02:51:07 --> 02:51:10

this place to another place where he can

02:51:10 --> 02:51:12

enroll his kid in the good place if

02:51:12 --> 02:51:14

that place exists. But if he is not

02:51:14 --> 02:51:16

capable of leaving that place, then he stays

02:51:16 --> 02:51:18

in that place according to his ability, but

02:51:18 --> 02:51:20

he has to compromise the the dunya side

02:51:20 --> 02:51:21

and put,

02:51:22 --> 02:51:25

his kid in the Muslim and Islamic school.

02:51:25 --> 02:51:25

Allah

02:51:26 --> 02:51:27

will replace him

02:51:31 --> 02:51:34

Whoever stays away from something which Allah Subhanahu

02:51:34 --> 02:51:36

Wa Ta'ala hates, for the sake of Allah

02:51:36 --> 02:51:38

Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, Allah promised to grant him

02:51:39 --> 02:51:39

better.

02:51:41 --> 02:51:43

So I guess I exhaust you a lot,

02:51:43 --> 02:51:45

and I still have half of what I

02:51:45 --> 02:51:48

planned for. So if you don't mind, let

02:51:48 --> 02:51:50

me just wrap up, and then we open

02:51:50 --> 02:51:52

the session again for questions and then we'll

02:51:52 --> 02:51:54

go and pray. Is that fine with everyone?

02:51:54 --> 02:51:55

Okay.

02:51:57 --> 02:51:59

And please I want any some of the

02:51:59 --> 02:52:00

we face at home.

02:52:01 --> 02:52:04

If possible to discuss them here inshallah. Okay.

02:52:04 --> 02:52:06

Because I have been given just principles to

02:52:06 --> 02:52:07

be done.

02:52:07 --> 02:52:09

Maybe there are some

02:52:10 --> 02:52:12

specific that somebody wants me to to address.

02:52:13 --> 02:52:14

K. So

02:52:15 --> 02:52:16

if I provide the house,

02:52:17 --> 02:52:19

the proper base for the tilvia of my

02:52:19 --> 02:52:20

kids,

02:52:22 --> 02:52:24

what am I supposed to be feeding my

02:52:24 --> 02:52:25

kids with?

02:52:26 --> 02:52:29

And this is the question Sheikh was asking

02:52:29 --> 02:52:29

about.

02:52:30 --> 02:52:31

How do I teach them?

02:52:34 --> 02:52:37

The prophet this is what he did. The

02:52:37 --> 02:52:40

kids starting from the younger age, let them

02:52:40 --> 02:52:42

know about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

02:52:43 --> 02:52:45

And this is really necessary.

02:52:45 --> 02:52:46

Yeah.

02:52:46 --> 02:52:48

This is really necessary. This is what we

02:52:48 --> 02:52:49

call Aqida. They have to learn it from

02:52:49 --> 02:52:50

this younger age.

02:52:52 --> 02:52:53

In the school,

02:52:54 --> 02:52:55

every morning,

02:52:56 --> 02:52:58

in the school every morning, what is the

02:52:58 --> 02:52:59

first thing the kids are doing?

02:53:00 --> 02:53:01

To say the national

02:53:02 --> 02:53:05

anthem. Right? Every morning. Why every morning they

02:53:05 --> 02:53:06

repeat it?

02:53:08 --> 02:53:09

Why do we ask them to repeat it

02:53:09 --> 02:53:10

every morning?

02:53:11 --> 02:53:12

Because the country

02:53:13 --> 02:53:16

leaders want this to become a leader in

02:53:16 --> 02:53:17

the heart of the kids.

02:53:19 --> 02:53:21

That's why it's necessary these values,

02:53:21 --> 02:53:23

you repeat them a lot.

02:53:23 --> 02:53:26

He was talking about the importance of reciting

02:53:27 --> 02:53:29

Adan on the ear of the child

02:53:30 --> 02:53:32

right after the child is born, he said

02:53:32 --> 02:53:34

because naturally the first word that reaches the

02:53:34 --> 02:53:36

brain of a child

02:53:36 --> 02:53:37

will remain.

02:53:38 --> 02:53:39

It's as good that Allah's

02:53:40 --> 02:53:42

name is the first thing that reaches his

02:53:42 --> 02:53:44

brain, not anything else.

02:53:45 --> 02:53:48

That's why your should be based on Akida

02:53:48 --> 02:53:49

and it by that.

02:53:50 --> 02:53:51

Teaching the kids

02:53:52 --> 02:53:52

the level

02:53:53 --> 02:53:55

of the Akida which is within their understanding.

02:53:56 --> 02:53:58

As I said, from the younger age, ask

02:53:58 --> 02:54:01

them who created them? Who gave them this?

02:54:02 --> 02:54:04

And inform them about Allah's matter. They already

02:54:04 --> 02:54:06

have the fitrah with them, but they just

02:54:07 --> 02:54:08

have to revive it

02:54:08 --> 02:54:12

and make it much stronger. Whatever nirmah happens

02:54:12 --> 02:54:13

to them, try to relate it to Allah

02:54:13 --> 02:54:14

Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

02:54:15 --> 02:54:17

And show no tolerance to any disrespect

02:54:18 --> 02:54:19

when it comes to Allah.

02:54:20 --> 02:54:22

When they're making jokes at home, tell them

02:54:22 --> 02:54:24

that they should avoid using the name of

02:54:24 --> 02:54:24

Allah

02:54:25 --> 02:54:26

because they succeed these matters.

02:54:27 --> 02:54:29

Let the kids * on this.

02:54:29 --> 02:54:32

But at the same time what does that

02:54:32 --> 02:54:33

mean? Our time is

02:54:34 --> 02:54:35

up. Okay.

02:54:36 --> 02:54:37

So but at the same time

02:54:37 --> 02:54:38

don't

02:54:38 --> 02:54:40

you ever introduce Allah

02:54:40 --> 02:54:42

in a scary way.

02:54:43 --> 02:54:45

Yeah incorporate that with the sight of the

02:54:45 --> 02:54:46

mercy of Allah

02:54:47 --> 02:54:48

so that they can maintain

02:54:49 --> 02:54:51

their balance. That's why I said teach them

02:54:51 --> 02:54:53

what what they need to know at that

02:54:53 --> 02:54:54

at that age.

02:54:54 --> 02:54:56

And as they grow also you are increasing.

02:54:57 --> 02:54:58

You know up to the moment you teach

02:54:58 --> 02:55:00

them the big things. You already have a

02:55:00 --> 02:55:02

good foundation for them to accommodate

02:55:02 --> 02:55:04

whatever you will be giving them

02:55:04 --> 02:55:07

in in the future. Professor Lachsuma said,

02:55:09 --> 02:55:09

he says,

02:55:10 --> 02:55:11

You Wala,

02:55:11 --> 02:55:13

he was talking to one of the younger

02:55:13 --> 02:55:14

companions,

02:55:14 --> 02:55:15

he said,

02:55:27 --> 02:55:28

first thing that you emphasize on in dealing

02:55:28 --> 02:55:29

and teaching your children. As I said if

02:55:29 --> 02:55:31

they got this be anything else, anything else.

02:55:36 --> 02:55:38

As I said, if they got this

02:55:39 --> 02:55:40

anything else

02:55:40 --> 02:55:42

will be possible

02:55:42 --> 02:55:44

and you will find teaching

02:55:45 --> 02:55:46

whatsoever you want to teach them in the

02:55:46 --> 02:55:46

future

02:55:47 --> 02:55:47

being,

02:55:48 --> 02:55:48

easy.

02:55:49 --> 02:55:51

And also train them upon the ibadat.

02:55:52 --> 02:55:54

You're doing and you are also inviting them

02:55:54 --> 02:55:56

to do. Prophetess said when they reach

02:55:57 --> 02:55:57

7 years

02:55:58 --> 02:55:59

you should

02:56:00 --> 02:56:01

command them to to pray.

02:56:02 --> 02:56:04

When they reach the year of 7, the

02:56:04 --> 02:56:06

age of 7 you should command them to

02:56:06 --> 02:56:06

pray.

02:56:07 --> 02:56:09

If they don't pray after they reach the

02:56:09 --> 02:56:10

year of 10, the prophet

02:56:10 --> 02:56:12

said, you can beat them. So it's wajib

02:56:12 --> 02:56:14

for me to command my kids

02:56:14 --> 02:56:16

But is it halal for me to let

02:56:16 --> 02:56:19

them pray at the age below the age

02:56:19 --> 02:56:20

of 7? Yes.

02:56:21 --> 02:56:22

Those are the age of encouragement.

02:56:23 --> 02:56:25

You tell your child, come let's pray. They

02:56:25 --> 02:56:27

don't want to pray, leave them. Don't force.

02:56:28 --> 02:56:30

Otherwise, they will hate the prayer.

02:56:30 --> 02:56:32

Just tell them, come let's pray. They will

02:56:32 --> 02:56:34

come and do that prayer and don't make

02:56:34 --> 02:56:35

comment. No correction.

02:56:36 --> 02:56:37

Whatever they want to pray. They will pray

02:56:37 --> 02:56:39

a funny prayer, no problem. The point is

02:56:39 --> 02:56:41

they understand that there is something called prayer.

02:56:42 --> 02:56:44

Whenever they see you praying,

02:56:44 --> 02:56:45

they will remember

02:56:45 --> 02:56:47

what is supposed to be their job. And

02:56:47 --> 02:56:49

the prophetess of the Lord wants you to

02:56:49 --> 02:56:50

get to do it gradually,

02:56:50 --> 02:56:53

That's why he said starting from the age

02:56:53 --> 02:56:54

of 7, you should start commanding.

02:56:55 --> 02:56:57

When they reach 10 and they don't do,

02:56:57 --> 02:57:01

only then you're allowed Islamically to to breach

02:57:01 --> 02:57:03

them. The breaching that will not

02:57:03 --> 02:57:05

harm the child.

02:57:06 --> 02:57:08

And trust me my dear brothers and sisters,

02:57:08 --> 02:57:10

if you are to

02:57:10 --> 02:57:12

to teach and to command your child to

02:57:12 --> 02:57:14

pray to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for 7

02:57:14 --> 02:57:15

years,

02:57:17 --> 02:57:18

you will never need

02:57:19 --> 02:57:20

to beat them when they reach the age

02:57:20 --> 02:57:23

of 10. Because how many prayers they they

02:57:23 --> 02:57:24

prayed by then?

02:57:25 --> 02:57:27

Thousands of prayers. Yeah. By then they will

02:57:27 --> 02:57:31

become familiar familiar with it. So teaching kids

02:57:31 --> 02:57:31

good manners

02:57:32 --> 02:57:32

and akida

02:57:33 --> 02:57:34

and abadadad

02:57:34 --> 02:57:38

should start from a very younger age, but

02:57:38 --> 02:57:40

you have to do that with with love

02:57:40 --> 02:57:41

to avoid

02:57:42 --> 02:57:42

them hating

02:57:43 --> 02:57:45

the the prayer. That's why there shouldn't be

02:57:45 --> 02:57:47

any punishment except if they don't do it

02:57:47 --> 02:57:49

at the age of 10 because they are

02:57:49 --> 02:57:51

closer to the age of below. And as

02:57:51 --> 02:57:53

I said, if you do it correctly,

02:57:53 --> 02:57:55

you commanded them to pray at the age

02:57:55 --> 02:57:56

of 7.

02:57:57 --> 02:57:58

They will

02:57:59 --> 02:58:01

you would never need to beat them when

02:58:01 --> 02:58:02

when they grow older.

02:58:03 --> 02:58:05

And if you are going to command them

02:58:05 --> 02:58:07

to pray that means you are also

02:58:07 --> 02:58:08

also praying.

02:58:09 --> 02:58:10

Right? You are also

02:58:10 --> 02:58:12

praying. And here comes the importance of you

02:58:12 --> 02:58:15

being righteous because if you don't pray,

02:58:15 --> 02:58:17

the kids will not have a good example

02:58:17 --> 02:58:19

at home. That's why the prophet said

02:58:20 --> 02:58:22

the sunnah prayers should be prayed at

02:58:23 --> 02:58:23

at home.

02:58:24 --> 02:58:26

You know, so that the kids can see

02:58:26 --> 02:58:28

you praying, your family can see you praying.

02:58:28 --> 02:58:30

Let them see a best and a good

02:58:30 --> 02:58:33

example in you. Those who are rushing in

02:58:33 --> 02:58:34

their praise, they know that the father is

02:58:34 --> 02:58:36

not doing like this. But if they don't

02:58:36 --> 02:58:39

see you praying, it will be very difficult

02:58:39 --> 02:58:41

for for them to have Alkudwa,

02:58:41 --> 02:58:42

Al Hasina.

02:58:42 --> 02:58:45

You get it? That's why as I said

02:58:45 --> 02:58:45

earlier,

02:58:46 --> 02:58:48

one of the best means at the Wased

02:58:48 --> 02:58:50

for you to give Telbia

02:58:50 --> 02:58:52

is Alkodua Al Hasina.

02:58:52 --> 02:58:55

Al Kodua Al Hasina to have a best

02:58:55 --> 02:58:57

example in the house and that best example

02:58:57 --> 02:58:59

is you. Yeah. They need somebody to look

02:59:00 --> 02:59:02

at him and imitate him whatever he he

02:59:02 --> 02:59:04

does. This is how they how they learn.

02:59:11 --> 02:59:14

So we come to this world knowing nothing.

02:59:14 --> 02:59:17

We learn from those who are next to

02:59:17 --> 02:59:20

us. So we should become the best Qudwa

02:59:20 --> 02:59:21

for them.

02:59:22 --> 02:59:24

If not, they're going to choose others because

02:59:24 --> 02:59:27

in this life Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala created

02:59:27 --> 02:59:28

us as

02:59:29 --> 02:59:32

social being that cannot live alone. That's why

02:59:32 --> 02:59:35

one of the thing they mentioned in Tarbia

02:59:35 --> 02:59:39

is choosing Aljeliso Sale. Angelis Asale for your

02:59:39 --> 02:59:39

child.

02:59:40 --> 02:59:43

Having a good partner and a friend for

02:59:43 --> 02:59:44

your child.

02:59:45 --> 02:59:47

Right? Having a good partner for for your

02:59:47 --> 02:59:48

child.

02:59:48 --> 02:59:50

And this is a very serious matter, so

02:59:50 --> 02:59:51

I should be the best friend for my

02:59:51 --> 02:59:54

child, but he cannot live alone, living with

02:59:54 --> 02:59:55

me only.

02:59:56 --> 02:59:58

He will need to get some other people

02:59:58 --> 02:59:59

also in his in his company.

03:00:00 --> 03:00:02

So those people they have to be righteous

03:00:02 --> 03:00:04

people, and this is a very sensitive matter.

03:00:05 --> 03:00:08

Don't cancel all the friends of your kids

03:00:08 --> 03:00:09

and tell them they're all bad,

03:00:09 --> 03:00:11

and at the same time also you don't

03:00:11 --> 03:00:14

provide him with a good alternative at home.

03:00:15 --> 03:00:18

If you are very good and you are

03:00:18 --> 03:00:20

the best friend for him, trust me that

03:00:20 --> 03:00:22

will help him also to be very selective

03:00:22 --> 03:00:23

in choosing choosing friends.

03:00:24 --> 03:00:26

That's why your kids will come back from

03:00:26 --> 03:00:27

time to time and tell you that, I

03:00:27 --> 03:00:29

sit with friends but they're doing this, they're

03:00:29 --> 03:00:31

doing that and this and that. Why are

03:00:31 --> 03:00:33

they sharing this with you?

03:00:33 --> 03:00:35

Because the door has been opened for them.

03:00:36 --> 03:00:37

Get an idea? So you should be the

03:00:37 --> 03:00:39

best friend for your child, but at the

03:00:39 --> 03:00:42

same time also help him to choose the

03:00:42 --> 03:00:43

best company.

03:00:43 --> 03:00:44

Rasulullah

03:00:46 --> 03:00:48

said, a person will be resurrected on the

03:00:48 --> 03:00:49

day of judgment according to

03:00:50 --> 03:00:52

the attitude and the behavior of his child.

03:00:52 --> 03:00:53

The prophet said

03:00:58 --> 03:00:59

The Arab says Sahib,

03:01:00 --> 03:01:03

Sahib, right? No. So it's a very serious

03:01:03 --> 03:01:04

matter. The prophet

03:01:09 --> 03:01:12

Don't you ever take somebody as your friend

03:01:12 --> 03:01:13

except a believer.

03:01:14 --> 03:01:14

Yeah.

03:01:15 --> 03:01:17

There is no compromise here

03:01:18 --> 03:01:20

and don't be shy. If your friend is

03:01:20 --> 03:01:23

not according to this description given by the

03:01:23 --> 03:01:25

prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam, you should apologize and

03:01:25 --> 03:01:27

stay away from him otherwise you will you

03:01:27 --> 03:01:28

will regret.

03:01:28 --> 03:01:30

Your friend should be the best, you know,

03:01:30 --> 03:01:31

much better than you.

03:01:32 --> 03:01:35

Don't accept somebody who is in low level

03:01:35 --> 03:01:36

to be closer to you.

03:01:37 --> 03:01:37

He said

03:01:43 --> 03:01:45

So your kids you should make sure that

03:01:45 --> 03:01:48

those whom they're hanging around with, they are

03:01:48 --> 03:01:49

the best one. Otherwise

03:01:50 --> 03:01:52

trust me they are going to, they are

03:01:52 --> 03:01:54

going to take them. Yeah, don't let them

03:01:54 --> 03:01:57

mix with a family that are that are

03:01:57 --> 03:01:57

wrong.

03:01:58 --> 03:02:00

Make sure that you choose the best company

03:02:01 --> 03:02:03

for them so you monitor who they go

03:02:03 --> 03:02:05

with and when you realize that you realize

03:02:05 --> 03:02:08

that they're going with the wrong people, don't

03:02:08 --> 03:02:09

fight.

03:02:10 --> 03:02:12

Yeah, this is my personal advice, if you

03:02:12 --> 03:02:15

realize that your child is going, is hanging

03:02:15 --> 03:02:17

around with the wrong people, don't fight.

03:02:18 --> 03:02:19

Yeah bring them back home,

03:02:20 --> 03:02:22

this is fiqh and address it with fiqh.

03:02:23 --> 03:02:24

He will like this is your time to

03:02:24 --> 03:02:26

be very calm because this is very dangerous

03:02:26 --> 03:02:29

otherwise you're going to lose him completely. You're

03:02:29 --> 03:02:30

going to lose her completely

03:02:30 --> 03:02:34

you know. You have to relax, you remain

03:02:34 --> 03:02:34

calm.

03:02:35 --> 03:02:36

When they come back home

03:02:36 --> 03:02:39

think about the best time and the best

03:02:39 --> 03:02:41

way for you to address the matter.

03:02:41 --> 03:02:44

Yeah. And do it in a very professional

03:02:44 --> 03:02:45

way and use a lot of wisdom

03:02:46 --> 03:02:48

to let him believe that this is a

03:02:48 --> 03:02:49

wrong choice by himself

03:02:50 --> 03:02:52

and maintaining your good mood. You know that

03:02:52 --> 03:02:54

yes from inside you are burning but don't

03:02:54 --> 03:02:55

let him understand this.

03:02:56 --> 03:02:58

Let him understand that whatever you are doing

03:02:58 --> 03:03:00

is for his own benefit and you know

03:03:00 --> 03:03:01

that these people are not going to lead

03:03:01 --> 03:03:02

him any anywhere.

03:03:04 --> 03:03:07

And do a thorough research before you agree

03:03:07 --> 03:03:09

with somebody. Let's say your child is having

03:03:09 --> 03:03:10

a very good relationship

03:03:11 --> 03:03:13

with you, you know, and he met somebody

03:03:13 --> 03:03:15

that he wants to bring this person closer,

03:03:16 --> 03:03:17

you know, and he asks

03:03:18 --> 03:03:19

your your advice.

03:03:20 --> 03:03:22

Make sure that you do the right checking

03:03:22 --> 03:03:23

before you agree.

03:03:25 --> 03:03:26

I heard one of the scholars said

03:03:28 --> 03:03:30

a mother was complaining to him that she

03:03:30 --> 03:03:32

doesn't know what to do with the situation

03:03:33 --> 03:03:36

because her daughter ended up hanging around with

03:03:36 --> 03:03:37

the wrong family.

03:03:38 --> 03:03:39

She said I was the one who

03:03:40 --> 03:03:41

who take her to them.

03:03:42 --> 03:03:44

Yeah because I thought they're okay.

03:03:45 --> 03:03:48

But then subhanAllah because of the negligence from

03:03:48 --> 03:03:48

the mother,

03:03:49 --> 03:03:50

she did not do the proper research.

03:03:51 --> 03:03:53

What did she find afterwards?

03:03:53 --> 03:03:55

That this mother, the mother of the friend,

03:03:56 --> 03:03:58

she used to go out with her daughter.

03:03:58 --> 03:04:00

Look at how much corrupt this family is.

03:04:00 --> 03:04:02

They go out both,

03:04:02 --> 03:04:04

you know, and the mother will go with

03:04:04 --> 03:04:05

her friend.

03:04:06 --> 03:04:08

Friend means boyfriend and the the girl also

03:04:08 --> 03:04:09

would go with her boyfriend.

03:04:10 --> 03:04:12

So the time my daughter started going to

03:04:12 --> 03:04:15

them, this womb this sister was still talking

03:04:15 --> 03:04:16

to the church, she said the time my

03:04:16 --> 03:04:19

daughter started going to them, they also look

03:04:19 --> 03:04:20

for a friend for her.

03:04:21 --> 03:04:22

SubhanAllah.

03:04:22 --> 03:04:24

She discovers afterwards.

03:04:25 --> 03:04:27

What can she do now? The damage already?

03:04:28 --> 03:04:30

Already happened. So open your eyes and do

03:04:30 --> 03:04:32

the right thing. Make sure that the one

03:04:32 --> 03:04:35

the kids are hanging around with, the other

03:04:35 --> 03:04:36

the

03:04:39 --> 03:04:40

Salih.

03:04:41 --> 03:04:43

And as I said you should be the

03:04:43 --> 03:04:45

best friend but since they cannot live with

03:04:45 --> 03:04:46

you alone

03:04:46 --> 03:04:48

then you should look for,

03:04:48 --> 03:04:50

you should make sure that the person they

03:04:50 --> 03:04:51

hang around with

03:04:51 --> 03:04:53

is the right person.

03:04:55 --> 03:04:57

K. So and also the last thing I

03:04:57 --> 03:04:59

think I should emphasize on is, the issue

03:04:59 --> 03:05:02

of teaching your kids respect.

03:05:02 --> 03:05:05

Respecting anyone that deserves respect starting from the

03:05:05 --> 03:05:08

parent. You know this is very important because

03:05:08 --> 03:05:11

nowadays you know taking this leniency that the

03:05:11 --> 03:05:12

scholars mention

03:05:13 --> 03:05:14

we go beyond the limits.

03:05:14 --> 03:05:16

You know the child can disrespect

03:05:17 --> 03:05:19

his mother, disrespect the father, and the father

03:05:19 --> 03:05:22

doesn't care, the mother doesn't care. No,

03:05:31 --> 03:05:32

in the place

03:05:32 --> 03:05:35

and they brought him milk, the prophet SAW

03:05:35 --> 03:05:37

drank from it and he wanted to pass

03:05:37 --> 03:05:38

it to

03:05:39 --> 03:05:41

to the one that is next to him

03:05:41 --> 03:05:43

on the right side. Unfortunately,

03:05:44 --> 03:05:46

the one on the right side was Abdullah

03:05:46 --> 03:05:47

ibn Abbas

03:05:48 --> 03:05:50

and the prophet Sallama wanted to start with

03:05:50 --> 03:05:51

the big ones,

03:05:51 --> 03:05:54

Abu Bakr. So he had he asked Abdullah

03:05:54 --> 03:05:57

ibn Abbas permission to pass it to Abu

03:05:57 --> 03:05:57

Bakr.

03:05:58 --> 03:06:00

Abdullah ibn Abbas said, not

03:06:01 --> 03:06:02

with your left over, Irasulullah.

03:06:03 --> 03:06:05

But then he says, I want my right.

03:06:06 --> 03:06:09

He says you drank something and I want

03:06:09 --> 03:06:10

to be the first one to get it.

03:06:10 --> 03:06:10

And the prophet

03:06:11 --> 03:06:13

gave him his right. In many places you

03:06:13 --> 03:06:14

hear the prophet

03:06:15 --> 03:06:15

say come bit,

03:06:16 --> 03:06:18

start with the with the big ones.

03:06:19 --> 03:06:22

Prophet never tolerates disrespect against the elders. That's

03:06:22 --> 03:06:23

why he said,

03:06:32 --> 03:06:34

The one who does not show mercy to

03:06:34 --> 03:06:36

the younger ones and does not respect the

03:06:36 --> 03:06:38

elders is not one of us. And the

03:06:38 --> 03:06:40

one who does not respect our scholars is

03:06:40 --> 03:06:42

not one of us. So you have to

03:06:42 --> 03:06:43

teach your kids

03:06:44 --> 03:06:46

how to respect starting from from you.

03:06:46 --> 03:06:47

That's why at home

03:06:48 --> 03:06:50

any word that comes from the child to

03:06:50 --> 03:06:52

the mother, the father. If this word is

03:06:52 --> 03:06:55

negative, the father shouldn't side with with the

03:06:55 --> 03:06:55

child.

03:06:56 --> 03:06:58

You should blame him for that, that you

03:06:58 --> 03:07:00

cannot address your parent with this.

03:07:01 --> 03:07:02

But other than that they can make jokes,

03:07:02 --> 03:07:04

give them the freedom but they have to

03:07:04 --> 03:07:07

maintain the level of respect they should be

03:07:07 --> 03:07:07

having.

03:07:08 --> 03:07:10

Yeah and also you should respect them because

03:07:10 --> 03:07:12

I'm teaching them respect, right? So I should

03:07:12 --> 03:07:14

also respect them. And it is part of

03:07:14 --> 03:07:15

respecting

03:07:15 --> 03:07:16

my

03:07:16 --> 03:07:18

child to give him

03:07:18 --> 03:07:19

somehow

03:07:20 --> 03:07:21

independence in the house.

03:07:22 --> 03:07:23

And he can make a decision.

03:07:23 --> 03:07:26

Yeah. That's why I said not everything you

03:07:26 --> 03:07:28

blame them for doing at home.

03:07:28 --> 03:07:30

Yeah. Give them independence.

03:07:31 --> 03:07:32

Make sure that they decide by themselves.

03:07:33 --> 03:07:33

Just

03:07:33 --> 03:07:35

watch. If you see them doing something that

03:07:35 --> 03:07:36

is wrong,

03:07:37 --> 03:07:39

deciding something which is wrong, then you, you'll

03:07:39 --> 03:07:40

fix it.

03:07:41 --> 03:07:43

For them. But don't be the one who

03:07:43 --> 03:07:44

will be deciding

03:07:44 --> 03:07:47

for them what to eat, where they go.

03:07:47 --> 03:07:48

Don't be the one who will tell them

03:07:48 --> 03:07:51

what to do in this regard. So you

03:07:51 --> 03:07:54

respect them by giving them a bit of

03:07:55 --> 03:07:58

independence and this will help them insha'Allah to

03:07:58 --> 03:07:59

be able to to live

03:08:00 --> 03:08:02

even after you you live this this life.

03:08:03 --> 03:08:04

And to be able also to do the

03:08:04 --> 03:08:06

right thing in terms of talab ul kamal.

03:08:07 --> 03:08:09

You want your child to always try to

03:08:09 --> 03:08:11

be at the best and higher position.

03:08:12 --> 03:08:13

So if you want this to take place

03:08:13 --> 03:08:16

then you have to give them the Istoklalia

03:08:16 --> 03:08:17

which is independence

03:08:18 --> 03:08:20

in in the house. So as I said,

03:08:20 --> 03:08:22

I have a lot here that remains. I'm

03:08:22 --> 03:08:24

trying to compress and summarize

03:08:25 --> 03:08:26

you know what I should be mentioning.

03:08:27 --> 03:08:30

So I will stop here. May Allah grant

03:08:30 --> 03:08:32

you a good and tofiq.

03:08:33 --> 03:08:34

If you have any specific matter that you

03:08:34 --> 03:08:37

want us to discuss, we can go through

03:08:37 --> 03:08:37

it.

03:08:38 --> 03:08:38

And

03:08:39 --> 03:08:41

for your patience. May Allah accept you. And

03:08:41 --> 03:08:43

those of you who are having kids, may

03:08:43 --> 03:08:44

Allah

03:08:44 --> 03:08:46

aid you and help you to give the

03:08:46 --> 03:08:48

good terbiyyah to them and to be patient

03:08:48 --> 03:08:51

in terbiyyah and to invest you know in

03:08:51 --> 03:08:55

your kids by producing somebody Insha'Allah who will

03:08:55 --> 03:08:57

be replacing you

03:08:57 --> 03:08:59

in leading the Ummah to the success of

03:08:59 --> 03:09:01

the light of Zulul and somebody who will

03:09:01 --> 03:09:03

be making du'a for you. Because my dear

03:09:03 --> 03:09:05

brothers and sisters, only the right,

03:09:05 --> 03:09:08

a righteous child will be helping you when

03:09:08 --> 03:09:09

you leave this life. That's why the prophetess

03:09:09 --> 03:09:11

of Allah said, When

03:09:14 --> 03:09:16

a son of Adam dies all of his

03:09:16 --> 03:09:18

righteous deeds will be cut up

03:09:19 --> 03:09:20

except 1 of the 3.

03:09:20 --> 03:09:23

And one of these 3 the prophet said,

03:09:25 --> 03:09:27

Oh, righteous child that you live in this

03:09:27 --> 03:09:30

life who is making du'a for you. And

03:09:30 --> 03:09:31

take this from me my dear brothers and

03:09:31 --> 03:09:34

sisters, the best gift you give your child

03:09:34 --> 03:09:34

is a good

03:09:35 --> 03:09:37

Tarbia of Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam which

03:09:37 --> 03:09:39

is tarbia with love

03:09:39 --> 03:09:40

and mercy

03:09:41 --> 03:09:43

and also doing the right thing.

03:09:43 --> 03:09:46

I close this with a simple story Sheikh

03:09:46 --> 03:09:48

Islam Intimiya mentioned in his book,

03:09:49 --> 03:09:50

Asiyasi Sharayyah.

03:09:50 --> 03:09:52

He talks about this matter, that the best

03:09:52 --> 03:09:53

thing you give

03:09:54 --> 03:09:55

your children is the tilapia.

03:09:56 --> 03:09:57

He said there was

03:09:58 --> 03:10:02

Khalifa from the Umrah al Muslimi who died.

03:10:02 --> 03:10:04

And he left his kids

03:10:04 --> 03:10:06

with abundance of wealth.

03:10:07 --> 03:10:09

He got it, abundance of wealth.

03:10:09 --> 03:10:12

So they inherit so much so much money.

03:10:13 --> 03:10:15

At the same time after this one, Omar

03:10:15 --> 03:10:16

Ibn Abdelaziz came,

03:10:17 --> 03:10:19

and he left young children.

03:10:19 --> 03:10:21

They said he himself when he see them

03:10:21 --> 03:10:21

he cries.

03:10:22 --> 03:10:24

SubhanAllah, they said they are very young and

03:10:24 --> 03:10:26

most of them did not reach the age

03:10:26 --> 03:10:26

of maturity.

03:10:27 --> 03:10:30

And guess what, Omar ibn Abdul Aziz died

03:10:30 --> 03:10:31

at the time

03:10:31 --> 03:10:34

to have 1 dirham to buy fruit he

03:10:34 --> 03:10:35

doesn't have.

03:10:36 --> 03:10:37

It was the Khalifa of Busumeen, you know

03:10:37 --> 03:10:40

how he led the believers but subhanAllah he

03:10:40 --> 03:10:42

invested in giving tarbia to the kids.

03:10:43 --> 03:10:45

So he looked at them,

03:10:46 --> 03:10:48

he cried, he told them my kids I'm

03:10:48 --> 03:10:50

very sorry, I was given

03:10:50 --> 03:10:52

a choice to choose Allah

03:10:52 --> 03:10:55

or to choose you. I decided to choose

03:10:55 --> 03:10:56

Allah

03:10:57 --> 03:10:57

however

03:10:58 --> 03:11:00

insha'Allah you will be you will not be

03:11:00 --> 03:11:01

neglected.

03:11:01 --> 03:11:02

When somebody

03:11:03 --> 03:11:04

told him

03:11:04 --> 03:11:06

you did the wrong thing, now you are

03:11:06 --> 03:11:08

going to leave this life and your children

03:11:08 --> 03:11:09

they have nothing.

03:11:09 --> 03:11:12

He told him, no my kids are one

03:11:12 --> 03:11:13

of the 2 people.

03:11:14 --> 03:11:14

1 of

03:11:15 --> 03:11:16

either the

03:11:16 --> 03:11:18

one that is righteous or the one that

03:11:18 --> 03:11:19

is evil.

03:11:19 --> 03:11:21

He said as for the righteous one

03:11:23 --> 03:11:26

Allah is the of the righteous people. As

03:11:26 --> 03:11:27

for the non righteous

03:11:27 --> 03:11:29

one, he said I would never be the

03:11:29 --> 03:11:31

one who will provide them with the means

03:11:31 --> 03:11:33

of facade and corruption after I leave.

03:11:34 --> 03:11:37

And subhanAllah he died. Sheikh Usai Min Temia

03:11:37 --> 03:11:37

said

03:11:38 --> 03:11:41

Sheikh Usai Min Temia said, we have seen

03:11:41 --> 03:11:42

some of his children

03:11:43 --> 03:11:45

sponsoring 1 of the jihad visa billab buying

03:11:45 --> 03:11:48

200 horses with all the equipments in it.

03:11:48 --> 03:11:51

The father left them kids having nothing.

03:11:51 --> 03:11:53

Look at how much Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala

03:11:53 --> 03:11:55

took care of them because of the investment

03:11:55 --> 03:11:57

he made in giving tarbia to them, putting

03:11:57 --> 03:11:59

them upon the right path to talk about

03:11:59 --> 03:12:01

of Allah and the righteousness.

03:12:01 --> 03:12:03

He said at the same time

03:12:03 --> 03:12:06

that Khalifa that died leaving his kids with

03:12:06 --> 03:12:08

abundance, he says, we seize many of the

03:12:08 --> 03:12:09

children of those ones

03:12:10 --> 03:12:12

begging others on the street looking for what

03:12:12 --> 03:12:12

to eat.

03:12:13 --> 03:12:15

This is what is awaiting all of us.

03:12:15 --> 03:12:18

Those of us who are having children, please

03:12:18 --> 03:12:20

open your eyes and be serious on this

03:12:20 --> 03:12:21

matter

03:12:21 --> 03:12:24

and don't be lazy and make sure that

03:12:24 --> 03:12:26

you don't fail in this responsibility and always

03:12:26 --> 03:12:28

remember the hadith of the prophet salallahu alayhi

03:12:28 --> 03:12:30

wasalam. If Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala assigned a

03:12:30 --> 03:12:32

responsibility upon you, if you don't do it

03:12:33 --> 03:12:35

in the right way, Jannah is going to

03:12:35 --> 03:12:37

be prohibited upon you giving terbiyah to the

03:12:37 --> 03:12:39

kids is not a joke. As for those

03:12:39 --> 03:12:41

who do not marry yet,

03:12:41 --> 03:12:44

please my dear brothers and sisters open your

03:12:44 --> 03:12:44

eyes.

03:12:45 --> 03:12:48

Yeah. Don't focus on the shallow things. Yeah.

03:12:48 --> 03:12:50

Go and ask those people who are having

03:12:50 --> 03:12:50

experience

03:12:51 --> 03:12:53

before you. Inshallah. If they are honest they

03:12:53 --> 03:12:56

will tell you the truth that focusing on

03:12:56 --> 03:12:57

the shallow things will cause you a lot

03:12:57 --> 03:12:59

of regret. So open your eyes,

03:13:00 --> 03:13:01

do the right checking,

03:13:01 --> 03:13:04

and make sure you see the future. I

03:13:04 --> 03:13:06

mean I'm not talking about somebody who's seeing

03:13:06 --> 03:13:08

the future but I'm saying make sure you

03:13:08 --> 03:13:10

think about the future before you you choose

03:13:10 --> 03:13:12

the one that you'll be staying with. What

03:13:12 --> 03:13:15

what do I mean by that? Thinking about

03:13:15 --> 03:13:17

the terbia of your kids. This one is

03:13:17 --> 03:13:19

supposed to be the mother or the father

03:13:19 --> 03:13:21

of your child. Are you really happy to

03:13:21 --> 03:13:22

take this one as the mother or the

03:13:22 --> 03:13:23

father of your child?

03:13:24 --> 03:13:25

SubhanAllah, somebody

03:13:26 --> 03:13:28

was asked, you know, by the sheikh when

03:13:28 --> 03:13:28

he was asking,

03:13:29 --> 03:13:30

his permission

03:13:30 --> 03:13:32

and his advice, he said, sheikh, would you

03:13:32 --> 03:13:34

advise me to marry this person? The Sheikh

03:13:34 --> 03:13:35

said, I asked him one question,

03:13:36 --> 03:13:37

would you be happy with this one to

03:13:37 --> 03:13:39

be the mother of your children? He said

03:13:39 --> 03:13:39

no.

03:13:40 --> 03:13:41

He said, do you think it's good for

03:13:41 --> 03:13:42

you to go for this? He said no.

03:13:42 --> 03:13:43

He said that's my advice

03:13:44 --> 03:13:45

to you. And this is a very simple

03:13:45 --> 03:13:46

and honest advice.

03:13:47 --> 03:13:49

You also should ask yourself this question, would

03:13:49 --> 03:13:51

you be happy for this woman to be

03:13:51 --> 03:13:53

the mother of your children? If the answer

03:13:53 --> 03:13:53

is negative,

03:13:54 --> 03:13:56

cancel this proposal and look for somebody else.

03:13:57 --> 03:13:58

She should also ask the same thing, would

03:13:58 --> 03:14:00

you be happy for this person to be

03:14:00 --> 03:14:02

the father of your kids? If the answer

03:14:02 --> 03:14:04

is no, will Allah he look for somebody

03:14:04 --> 03:14:07

else. Yeah. Anything that you're focusing on now

03:14:07 --> 03:14:08

is going to fizzle and you will you

03:14:08 --> 03:14:10

will regret. May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala love

03:14:10 --> 03:14:12

you all and grant you good and tawfiq

03:14:12 --> 03:14:14

in this dunya and the success in the

03:14:14 --> 03:14:15

hereafter.

03:14:23 --> 03:14:24

And once again thank you for coming.

03:14:25 --> 03:14:27

Allah grant you success and toffee.

03:14:32 --> 03:14:34

We have some questions from the sisters.

03:14:38 --> 03:14:41

How can we fix the barrier between parents

03:14:41 --> 03:14:43

and children and get our children to express

03:14:43 --> 03:14:44

their feelings and problems,

03:14:45 --> 03:14:48

to us again? Example, after schools after scolding

03:14:48 --> 03:14:50

the kids, making them reluctant to open up

03:14:50 --> 03:14:51

again.

03:14:51 --> 03:14:52

After?

03:14:52 --> 03:14:53

After example,

03:14:54 --> 03:14:56

like, after scolding the kids, how can they

03:14:56 --> 03:14:58

how can we make them open up again?

03:14:58 --> 03:14:59

You know, as they said,

03:15:00 --> 03:15:01

change is always possible.

03:15:02 --> 03:15:04

I might be claiming that my children are

03:15:04 --> 03:15:06

changing. Trust me. If you see them changing,

03:15:06 --> 03:15:07

one of the 2 things.

03:15:08 --> 03:15:09

Either I change

03:15:09 --> 03:15:11

or they don't change it realistically, they're just

03:15:11 --> 03:15:13

being monothequing to me.

03:15:14 --> 03:15:16

They just come to me and pretend they're

03:15:16 --> 03:15:17

okay but they're not.

03:15:18 --> 03:15:21

When they leave my place, they will show

03:15:21 --> 03:15:23

the true picture of who they who they

03:15:23 --> 03:15:24

are.

03:15:24 --> 03:15:27

Or they are really changing, that means I

03:15:27 --> 03:15:29

change. If you see your kids changing, that

03:15:29 --> 03:15:30

means you are changing.

03:15:31 --> 03:15:33

And this is applicable in the family.

03:15:33 --> 03:15:35

Yeah, we need to change.

03:15:36 --> 03:15:36

And please

03:15:37 --> 03:15:39

take my advice. When it comes to terbia,

03:15:40 --> 03:15:42

don't tell yourself I will try.

03:15:43 --> 03:15:45

Are we together? When it comes to the

03:15:45 --> 03:15:47

matter of terbia, no trying.

03:15:49 --> 03:15:51

So what? What are we going to do?

03:15:51 --> 03:15:54

Just do. Don't tell yourself, 'I will try'.

03:15:54 --> 03:15:55

Because sometimes when you advise the brother, the

03:15:55 --> 03:15:57

brother will tell you, 'I will try', the

03:15:57 --> 03:15:58

sister will tell you, 'I will try'. Trust

03:15:58 --> 03:16:00

me, this is the beginning of failure.

03:16:01 --> 03:16:04

But don't try, just do.

03:16:04 --> 03:16:06

Yeah. You get it? I know that this

03:16:06 --> 03:16:08

is harming my kids.

03:16:09 --> 03:16:11

I fix it right on the spot. It

03:16:11 --> 03:16:13

shouldn't accept any delay. I know that my

03:16:13 --> 03:16:15

approach is wrong. I used to be very

03:16:15 --> 03:16:18

harsh against my kids. I don't play with

03:16:18 --> 03:16:18

them.

03:16:19 --> 03:16:20

What should I do? I change.

03:16:21 --> 03:16:23

We're all not like that. Before we learn

03:16:23 --> 03:16:25

the sunnah, we are not like that. But

03:16:25 --> 03:16:26

then we change.

03:16:28 --> 03:16:30

And does that harm us?

03:16:32 --> 03:16:34

My dear brothers and sisters,

03:16:34 --> 03:16:37

Changing in this regard brings nothing except more

03:16:37 --> 03:16:38

respect from your kids to you.

03:16:39 --> 03:16:41

You might not understand what I'm saying but

03:16:41 --> 03:16:42

please do it for the sake of Allah,

03:16:42 --> 03:16:44

Change completely like the word of salah sallahu

03:16:44 --> 03:16:45

alaihi wasallam is doing.

03:16:46 --> 03:16:48

You are there at home, your kids want

03:16:48 --> 03:16:48

to play.

03:16:49 --> 03:16:51

Usually we don't, we have no time for

03:16:51 --> 03:16:52

them. No, you should.

03:16:53 --> 03:16:55

Your child, no matter how much young they

03:16:55 --> 03:16:57

are, when they invite you to things which

03:16:57 --> 03:17:00

are useless, but to them are important.

03:17:00 --> 03:17:02

Go and sit with them, talk to them,

03:17:02 --> 03:17:04

you know, play with them, make them happy.

03:17:05 --> 03:17:06

Make them happy.

03:17:06 --> 03:17:09

Whatever they worry, make sure you you you

03:17:09 --> 03:17:10

check their faces.

03:17:10 --> 03:17:12

This is what a good father is all

03:17:12 --> 03:17:13

about.

03:17:13 --> 03:17:16

Monitoring the faces of the children in the

03:17:16 --> 03:17:16

house.

03:17:17 --> 03:17:18

Why is you worried?

03:17:18 --> 03:17:19

Why is you depressed?

03:17:20 --> 03:17:22

Sit with them, talk to them, you know?

03:17:22 --> 03:17:24

Tickle them, you know? I'm just giving you

03:17:24 --> 03:17:26

some of the experiences that we we pass

03:17:26 --> 03:17:28

and we see, subhanAllah, the result is excellent.

03:17:29 --> 03:17:31

From that being moody, you know,

03:17:32 --> 03:17:34

good luck will take place and the child

03:17:34 --> 03:17:35

will respect you more.

03:17:36 --> 03:17:38

So what I'm trying to say is

03:17:38 --> 03:17:41

the matters of Telia don't accept any any

03:17:41 --> 03:17:43

test or trial. You just have to fix

03:17:43 --> 03:17:45

it. I'm wrong in my approach.

03:17:46 --> 03:17:47

I should just stop being wrong in my

03:17:47 --> 03:17:48

approach

03:17:48 --> 03:17:49

starting from now.

03:17:50 --> 03:17:53

Not I will start, no starting from now.

03:17:54 --> 03:17:56

You know, I have to be very simple,

03:17:57 --> 03:17:58

easy to be approached.

03:17:58 --> 03:18:02

Don't punish, overlook, pretend you don't see things,

03:18:02 --> 03:18:03

but you know they are in existence but

03:18:03 --> 03:18:05

pretend you give a home to your child,

03:18:06 --> 03:18:07

let them feel comfortable,

03:18:07 --> 03:18:09

let them miss you when they leave the

03:18:09 --> 03:18:09

place.

03:18:10 --> 03:18:12

Not a house that when they miss when

03:18:12 --> 03:18:13

they go out of the place they

03:18:14 --> 03:18:15

and other than Allahum minhum.

03:18:16 --> 03:18:18

Yeah. Some kids they are like that.

03:18:19 --> 03:18:21

Yeah. So my answer to that question, my

03:18:21 --> 03:18:22

dear sister,

03:18:22 --> 03:18:23

change

03:18:23 --> 03:18:26

to the method of Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam

03:18:26 --> 03:18:28

where you will become the best friend of

03:18:28 --> 03:18:29

your child.

03:18:30 --> 03:18:30

Leniency

03:18:31 --> 03:18:32

but responsible leniency.

03:18:33 --> 03:18:35

Mercy but responsible mercy.

03:18:35 --> 03:18:37

You get it? Now don't be harsh at

03:18:37 --> 03:18:39

all. Accept when it is necessary,

03:18:40 --> 03:18:42

and leanency doesn't work anymore. Then you go

03:18:42 --> 03:18:43

to the harshness.

03:18:43 --> 03:18:44

You know?

03:18:51 --> 03:18:53

Sheikh, what what can we do if our

03:18:53 --> 03:18:54

child is going with,

03:18:55 --> 03:18:57

good friends to the playground but hears other

03:18:57 --> 03:19:00

kids say or do bad things? Do we

03:19:00 --> 03:19:01

stop them from going altogether?

03:19:02 --> 03:19:03

The child?

03:19:04 --> 03:19:06

Is going going to the playground with good

03:19:06 --> 03:19:08

friends, but they hear bad bad things or

03:19:08 --> 03:19:11

do bad thing see bad things from You

03:19:11 --> 03:19:13

add you address the matter from home.

03:19:14 --> 03:19:16

Mhmm. You get it? You address the matter

03:19:16 --> 03:19:19

from home. It might be very dangerous to

03:19:19 --> 03:19:20

stop him from going abruptly.

03:19:21 --> 03:19:23

You get it? You have to go gradual.

03:19:24 --> 03:19:27

You start the process of, you know,

03:19:27 --> 03:19:29

quitting him from those friendship. It has to

03:19:30 --> 03:19:30

they have to

03:19:31 --> 03:19:33

quit. That's why the best decision to be

03:19:33 --> 03:19:35

taken in this is to move to another

03:19:35 --> 03:19:35

street.

03:19:36 --> 03:19:38

Leave this place, don't tell him I'm leaving

03:19:38 --> 03:19:40

this place because of your friends.

03:19:40 --> 03:19:43

Just decide and tell him family we found

03:19:43 --> 03:19:44

a good place,

03:19:45 --> 03:19:48

more fancy house, you know, good environment, friendly

03:19:48 --> 03:19:48

environment.

03:19:49 --> 03:19:50

I know you miss your friend but this

03:19:50 --> 03:19:52

is how life is inshallah that it's better

03:19:52 --> 03:19:53

for us. We will visit them from time

03:19:53 --> 03:19:54

to time.

03:19:55 --> 03:19:56

I know it's very tough but this is

03:19:56 --> 03:19:58

the best decision. When you realize that the

03:19:58 --> 03:19:59

terrier of your kids has been

03:20:00 --> 03:20:02

in in trouble in the place where you

03:20:02 --> 03:20:04

live in, you have to leave that place

03:20:04 --> 03:20:05

to another place.

03:20:05 --> 03:20:07

You know, because telling him not to go

03:20:07 --> 03:20:09

and visit those those friends might be very

03:20:09 --> 03:20:09

dangerous.

03:20:10 --> 03:20:12

Yeah. So the best is to start the

03:20:12 --> 03:20:15

gradual process of detaching him from them in

03:20:15 --> 03:20:18

a very, very, very nice and good way.

03:20:18 --> 03:20:20

In the way he himself also one day

03:20:20 --> 03:20:21

he would tell them, why don't you go

03:20:21 --> 03:20:22

to the front seat? He would tell him

03:20:22 --> 03:20:24

no, I don't want to be with them

03:20:24 --> 03:20:24

anymore.

03:20:25 --> 03:20:27

Why is that? Because of whatever they are

03:20:27 --> 03:20:29

discussing in that place, he's tired of listening

03:20:29 --> 03:20:31

to that, you know.

03:20:31 --> 03:20:33

As I said, if you can move from

03:20:33 --> 03:20:36

that place to another locality, that's really excellent.

03:20:37 --> 03:20:38

Go and check the place. That's why they

03:20:38 --> 03:20:39

said Adal,

03:20:40 --> 03:20:42

I'm sorry, Adjaro Cableta.

03:20:43 --> 03:20:45

Yeah. Usually we don't do that.

03:20:46 --> 03:20:48

The place is fancy, the place is rich

03:20:48 --> 03:20:50

place, the place is a place of, you

03:20:50 --> 03:20:52

know, what do you call rich people, the

03:20:52 --> 03:20:53

place is this and that,

03:20:53 --> 03:20:56

no. We go for for this, no. A

03:20:56 --> 03:20:58

smart person is a person who is choosing

03:20:58 --> 03:20:59

a place not because of the way the

03:20:59 --> 03:21:00

place looks,

03:21:00 --> 03:21:02

because of the neighborhood.

03:21:02 --> 03:21:05

You know, he has got neighborhood and then

03:21:05 --> 03:21:06

you go you go to that place. So

03:21:06 --> 03:21:08

if you face problem like this, one of

03:21:08 --> 03:21:10

the best solution is to

03:21:10 --> 03:21:12

to move to another place.

03:21:13 --> 03:21:14

Inshallah. It's Sheikha Alamein. I think the question

03:21:14 --> 03:21:15

that the person has got

03:21:19 --> 03:21:20

He has?

03:21:22 --> 03:21:25

So the answer still applies? The answer still

03:21:25 --> 03:21:26

applies.

03:21:26 --> 03:21:27

They're not.

03:21:28 --> 03:21:30

All of those families, they are supposed to

03:21:30 --> 03:21:33

look for another place to live.

03:21:34 --> 03:21:35

Or if let's say

03:21:36 --> 03:21:38

your kids are good, mine are good, his

03:21:38 --> 03:21:41

good, we try to understand this. It's better

03:21:41 --> 03:21:42

for this family to cooperate

03:21:43 --> 03:21:45

and to see how to connect their kids

03:21:45 --> 03:21:45

together.

03:21:46 --> 03:21:48

So I'm giving good to go to my

03:21:48 --> 03:21:50

kids, you are doing, he's doing, so this

03:21:50 --> 03:21:51

one we try to do it in the

03:21:51 --> 03:21:54

way our kids would be around themselves.

03:21:55 --> 03:21:57

Whenever somebody approached them they see that person

03:21:57 --> 03:21:58

as a strange person.

03:21:59 --> 03:22:00

And trust me

03:22:00 --> 03:22:02

that person might not last longer

03:22:02 --> 03:22:04

because the vast majority are all good.

03:22:05 --> 03:22:08

So either he change and convert into them

03:22:08 --> 03:22:08

or

03:22:09 --> 03:22:11

or what do you call it, leave them

03:22:11 --> 03:22:13

and go and meet somebody else.

03:22:13 --> 03:22:15

It's really necessary. I remember

03:22:16 --> 03:22:17

a school that,

03:22:18 --> 03:22:20

they're really doing well in the school.

03:22:21 --> 03:22:21

And

03:22:22 --> 03:22:22

subhanAllah,

03:22:23 --> 03:22:24

they train the kids

03:22:25 --> 03:22:27

upon righteousness but the family are not like

03:22:27 --> 03:22:27

that.

03:22:28 --> 03:22:30

SubhanAllah they say one of the the parents,

03:22:31 --> 03:22:32

they're very rich,

03:22:32 --> 03:22:33

he becomes

03:22:33 --> 03:22:34

one of the regular

03:22:35 --> 03:22:36

regular attend,

03:22:36 --> 03:22:37

attendees to the Masjid.

03:22:38 --> 03:22:40

He goes to the Masjid regular even because

03:22:41 --> 03:22:42

of his child.

03:22:43 --> 03:22:45

A child is in a very good environment,

03:22:46 --> 03:22:48

so the parent they are suffering but they

03:22:48 --> 03:22:49

couldn't take him out of from that from

03:22:49 --> 03:22:51

that school because they sense that he's really

03:22:51 --> 03:22:52

benefiting.

03:22:54 --> 03:22:55

So they said the father

03:22:56 --> 03:22:57

used to hold a gun

03:22:58 --> 03:23:00

because they have to pass, you know, sometimes

03:23:00 --> 03:23:02

the rich people they have their own area.

03:23:02 --> 03:23:03

So he has to pass

03:23:04 --> 03:23:06

a place which is a bit, forest. So

03:23:06 --> 03:23:08

he's afraid of the animals and dogs, so

03:23:08 --> 03:23:09

he used to hold gum to the Masjid

03:23:09 --> 03:23:11

but he comes for the facher. Because the

03:23:11 --> 03:23:12

child told him,

03:23:13 --> 03:23:15

my sheikh told me it is important to

03:23:15 --> 03:23:17

pray fajr with the mastiff. And he forced

03:23:17 --> 03:23:18

the parent to do, and they did.

03:23:19 --> 03:23:21

So that's why I'm saying living with a

03:23:21 --> 03:23:23

good person, with the righteous people, either the

03:23:23 --> 03:23:24

person changes

03:23:24 --> 03:23:27

or he has to go away. But the

03:23:27 --> 03:23:29

parent who are good in that place, they

03:23:29 --> 03:23:30

have to cooperate. If they're not willing to

03:23:30 --> 03:23:33

move from that area, they have to cooperate

03:23:33 --> 03:23:35

and see how to connect their kids to

03:23:36 --> 03:23:38

stay around each other. But if this is

03:23:38 --> 03:23:41

not possible, then trust me, there is no

03:23:41 --> 03:23:43

good in being in that place.

03:23:44 --> 03:23:46

And if I am to

03:23:47 --> 03:23:48

to say this, I have the right to

03:23:48 --> 03:23:50

say, I will say living in that place

03:23:50 --> 03:23:51

is wrong.

03:23:52 --> 03:23:54

A simple sinful act. As long as the

03:23:54 --> 03:23:56

kids are affected then it is a sin

03:23:56 --> 03:23:58

for them to remain in that place. They

03:23:58 --> 03:24:00

have to move to another area, you know.

03:24:05 --> 03:24:06

Question by brother.

03:24:09 --> 03:24:11

Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum.

03:24:11 --> 03:24:12

Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum.

03:24:12 --> 03:24:14

Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum.

03:24:14 --> 03:24:15

Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum.

03:24:16 --> 03:24:19

What can you please advise that His mother

03:24:19 --> 03:24:21

brought him to Rasool Allah.

03:24:23 --> 03:24:24

Why don't you give credit to the mothers?

03:24:27 --> 03:24:29

But it's good to mention that his mother

03:24:29 --> 03:24:30

brought him to Rasool Allah because

03:24:31 --> 03:24:32

it has his own meaning. You know? Okay,

03:24:32 --> 03:24:33

sir.

03:24:35 --> 03:24:37

So the question is, Sheikh. As a stepfather,

03:24:38 --> 03:24:40

how to give tarbia in the modern day

03:24:40 --> 03:24:43

context taking into account the complexity of the

03:24:43 --> 03:24:44

present day standards?

03:24:46 --> 03:24:48

Step. Step father. Stepfather.

03:24:48 --> 03:24:51

Somebody who's not the biological father. Yeah. Yeah.

03:24:51 --> 03:24:53

He should act to that person as if

03:24:53 --> 03:24:55

he is the biological father. There shouldn't be

03:24:55 --> 03:24:56

any difference.

03:24:57 --> 03:24:59

Yeah. Especially when, the kids are,

03:25:01 --> 03:25:02

come into his house

03:25:03 --> 03:25:03

that,

03:25:04 --> 03:25:06

what do you call it, younger age. He

03:25:07 --> 03:25:09

He shouldn't let them understand that he's not

03:25:09 --> 03:25:09

the father.

03:25:11 --> 03:25:13

You get it? Treat them as if he's

03:25:13 --> 03:25:16

the biological father. Don't show them any difference.

03:25:16 --> 03:25:18

Yeah. Let them grow like that. In a

03:25:18 --> 03:25:19

way if they are to be told that

03:25:19 --> 03:25:21

this is your father they will not agree.

03:25:21 --> 03:25:23

There are some parents who did that. It's

03:25:23 --> 03:25:24

a very good invest investment.

03:25:25 --> 03:25:28

And also it support and help the child

03:25:28 --> 03:25:29

to,

03:25:29 --> 03:25:32

what do you call, to be matured properly,

03:25:32 --> 03:25:34

Not to have what do you call what

03:25:34 --> 03:25:36

do you call negative feelings against anyone because

03:25:37 --> 03:25:37

their trauma,

03:25:38 --> 03:25:40

why do they need support from us and

03:25:40 --> 03:25:41

more leniency than our own

03:25:42 --> 03:25:42

biological,

03:25:43 --> 03:25:44

kids?

03:25:44 --> 03:25:47

Because they lost that hanan from the biological

03:25:47 --> 03:25:48

parent. The parents are not there.

03:25:49 --> 03:25:52

So inside them they will be burning. You

03:25:52 --> 03:25:53

know everyone has a father has a mother

03:25:53 --> 03:25:55

but this one don't have.

03:25:55 --> 03:25:57

So that's why if we are the caretaker

03:25:57 --> 03:25:59

of the orphans we get those big rewards

03:25:59 --> 03:26:01

and we're supposed to treat them in the

03:26:01 --> 03:26:03

way they will not understand that we are

03:26:03 --> 03:26:05

not the biological parent.

03:26:05 --> 03:26:08

So advise anyone who has a child

03:26:09 --> 03:26:11

that belongs to his wife from another father,

03:26:12 --> 03:26:14

he shouldn't let the children understand that they

03:26:14 --> 03:26:15

are not his

03:26:15 --> 03:26:16

biological children.

03:26:17 --> 03:26:19

Yes of course he called them by their

03:26:19 --> 03:26:22

names, Muhammad bin al Karim, you know, attributing

03:26:22 --> 03:26:24

them to their parent. But in terms of

03:26:24 --> 03:26:25

treatment,

03:26:25 --> 03:26:27

you should treat them in the way they

03:26:27 --> 03:26:29

might think, you know, he is the Kareem.

03:26:30 --> 03:26:32

And they grow older than they know that

03:26:32 --> 03:26:33

no this is not the biological father or

03:26:33 --> 03:26:37

somebody else. Yeah. That will add to the

03:26:37 --> 03:26:38

love they will be having towards him.

03:26:41 --> 03:26:41

Yesha.

03:26:42 --> 03:26:43

Continuation of this question.

03:26:44 --> 03:26:48

Is he considered responsible is the stepfather considered

03:26:48 --> 03:26:50

responsible for his flock that is all under

03:26:50 --> 03:26:53

his household, especially if the birth father is

03:26:53 --> 03:26:54

a kafir?

03:26:55 --> 03:26:56

Is he

03:26:56 --> 03:26:57

Is the

03:26:57 --> 03:27:01

stepfather responsible for the flock all under his

03:27:01 --> 03:27:01

household

03:27:02 --> 03:27:04

if the birth father is a kafir?

03:27:05 --> 03:27:07

The one who gave birth to him is

03:27:07 --> 03:27:09

a kafir? Yeah. Is he responsible? Is Is

03:27:09 --> 03:27:11

he responsible of this child? Of the child?

03:27:11 --> 03:27:13

Yeah. Of course, he is.

03:27:13 --> 03:27:14

The first responsibility

03:27:14 --> 03:27:16

towards him is to accept Islam

03:27:17 --> 03:27:19

to become a Muslim? No. The responsibility of

03:27:19 --> 03:27:20

the stepfather.

03:27:21 --> 03:27:22

Is he going to be asked

03:27:23 --> 03:27:25

on the day of judgment regarding this

03:27:26 --> 03:27:28

child? I don't get that question.

03:27:32 --> 03:27:32

Caveat.

03:27:37 --> 03:27:37

Yeah.

03:27:38 --> 03:27:41

So you have, the father is. Mhmm. But

03:27:41 --> 03:27:43

the husband of the wife is a Muslim.

03:27:43 --> 03:27:46

Right? Yes. Yeah. Thank you, Yusuf, for to

03:27:46 --> 03:27:46

clarify.

03:27:48 --> 03:27:50

So in this case, the one the the

03:27:50 --> 03:27:52

the responsibility the first responsibility is on the

03:27:52 --> 03:27:55

father, the kafir one. To accept Islam

03:27:56 --> 03:27:57

and to give good tervia to the kids,

03:27:57 --> 03:28:01

to become good example for them. However now

03:28:01 --> 03:28:04

the responsibility is being transferred to to the

03:28:04 --> 03:28:06

mother. She's the one that is responsible

03:28:07 --> 03:28:09

and this one is just a supporter. He

03:28:09 --> 03:28:11

would not be questioned by a loss monitor

03:28:11 --> 03:28:12

in the way he he would be questioned

03:28:12 --> 03:28:14

about his own biological

03:28:14 --> 03:28:14

children.

03:28:15 --> 03:28:18

But as I said, he should invest

03:28:18 --> 03:28:20

in them. Replacing that

03:28:21 --> 03:28:23

missing, you know, ingredient in their life.

03:28:24 --> 03:28:26

You get an idea? Treat them as if

03:28:26 --> 03:28:27

he is the biological

03:28:27 --> 03:28:30

father. Don't let them understand that they have

03:28:30 --> 03:28:32

deficiency in life. If he has other children,

03:28:32 --> 03:28:35

don't show any difference and don't let the

03:28:35 --> 03:28:37

kids know that this one belongs to another

03:28:37 --> 03:28:39

another father. Let them when they grow older,

03:28:39 --> 03:28:41

they become big and they they know the

03:28:41 --> 03:28:41

reality,

03:28:42 --> 03:28:45

you know. That's good for for the child

03:28:45 --> 03:28:46

because he's innocent.

03:28:46 --> 03:28:48

We shouldn't punish him because of the behavior

03:28:48 --> 03:28:51

and attitude of somebody else. And it's part

03:28:51 --> 03:28:52

of being kind to the wife,

03:28:53 --> 03:28:54

to be kind

03:28:54 --> 03:28:55

to her, her

03:28:55 --> 03:28:56

children.

03:28:57 --> 03:28:59

Is that clear? Yeah. That's why the best

03:28:59 --> 03:29:01

way to support an offering.

03:29:03 --> 03:29:04

What is the best way to support an

03:29:04 --> 03:29:05

orphan?

03:29:06 --> 03:29:08

To marry his his mother.

03:29:09 --> 03:29:11

You know? Because when you marry the mother,

03:29:11 --> 03:29:12

you don't need to

03:29:13 --> 03:29:16

to do anything. She will be supporting him

03:29:16 --> 03:29:19

under that which she is getting from or

03:29:19 --> 03:29:20

from you.

03:29:22 --> 03:29:23

Mila Grant is good.

03:29:23 --> 03:29:26

The role of the stepfather would be considered

03:29:26 --> 03:29:28

as if he is taking care of an

03:29:28 --> 03:29:29

orphan. And, a guardian.

03:29:30 --> 03:29:31

Taking care of an

03:29:31 --> 03:29:33

orphan. Often if the father is not allowed,

03:29:34 --> 03:29:36

but technically he is because

03:29:37 --> 03:29:39

he's a Muslim. Right? And the children are

03:29:39 --> 03:29:40

with the mother.

03:29:42 --> 03:29:44

But naturally he's not an orphan because the

03:29:44 --> 03:29:46

father is still alive.

03:29:46 --> 03:29:48

He will be questioned by a lot more

03:29:48 --> 03:29:48

to learn about

03:29:49 --> 03:29:51

how much he got, and he give therapy

03:29:51 --> 03:29:52

to his to his children.

03:29:53 --> 03:29:55

But now since he is useless to the

03:29:55 --> 03:29:56

kids

03:29:56 --> 03:29:59

because of the barrier in the religion and

03:29:59 --> 03:30:00

the mother, she take that responsibility.

03:30:01 --> 03:30:02

She's the direct

03:30:03 --> 03:30:04

responsible person.

03:30:04 --> 03:30:06

And then the husband,

03:30:07 --> 03:30:10

because due to the fact that that person

03:30:10 --> 03:30:11

also is part of the household.

03:30:13 --> 03:30:14

Okay? And the

03:30:15 --> 03:30:16

prophet

03:30:17 --> 03:30:18

A person is a shepherd

03:30:19 --> 03:30:21

upon every anyone who is living in that

03:30:21 --> 03:30:23

in that house under his custody.

03:30:24 --> 03:30:24

So it's like

03:30:25 --> 03:30:27

being given to him, which he has to

03:30:27 --> 03:30:29

be serious in taking care of that.

03:30:29 --> 03:30:30

You know?

03:30:33 --> 03:30:34

Keshia.

03:30:40 --> 03:30:41

In the terbia?

03:30:42 --> 03:30:44

Oh, that's a very good question, you know.

03:30:44 --> 03:30:46

The oldest sibling should be having the same

03:30:46 --> 03:30:47

role of the father.

03:30:49 --> 03:30:51

But that can only happen

03:30:51 --> 03:30:54

if the parent did the right investment in

03:30:54 --> 03:30:55

the older sibling.

03:30:55 --> 03:30:57

That's why now you have the liberalist who

03:30:57 --> 03:30:59

come and tell you, no don't have a

03:30:59 --> 03:31:00

lot of children because

03:31:00 --> 03:31:01

you're going to

03:31:01 --> 03:31:04

let them you know going around the community

03:31:04 --> 03:31:06

without giving them the proper tilvia.

03:31:06 --> 03:31:09

So they discourage people from having children.

03:31:09 --> 03:31:11

They have to go for this family planning

03:31:11 --> 03:31:12

and all of these things, you know. I

03:31:12 --> 03:31:13

don't want to have a child now, I

03:31:13 --> 03:31:15

want to have after 4 years, after I

03:31:15 --> 03:31:17

graduate, after this and that. All of these

03:31:17 --> 03:31:18

things that you have heard. But Islamically Rasool

03:31:18 --> 03:31:21

Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said, he wants you

03:31:21 --> 03:31:22

to

03:31:22 --> 03:31:24

marry those who can produce children because he

03:31:24 --> 03:31:27

wants to become proud of our size on

03:31:27 --> 03:31:27

the day of judgment.

03:31:29 --> 03:31:31

Is there anything wrong when a person have

03:31:31 --> 03:31:32

a child every

03:31:32 --> 03:31:33

every year?

03:31:35 --> 03:31:37

Is there anything wrong with that?

03:31:38 --> 03:31:39

Nothing wrong with that.

03:31:39 --> 03:31:40

One of them,

03:31:41 --> 03:31:43

was writing his book, he said, I know

03:31:43 --> 03:31:45

there was a sister who has 25 children.

03:31:47 --> 03:31:48

Nowadays they call her

03:31:49 --> 03:31:50

a beast and animal.

03:31:51 --> 03:31:53

Yeah, this is what we heard people are

03:31:53 --> 03:31:54

calling a girl. A sister who has so

03:31:54 --> 03:31:56

many children is like animals. She has nothing

03:31:56 --> 03:31:59

to do in life except reducing children. Tabalamullah.

03:32:03 --> 03:32:04

So and there was there was nothing wrong

03:32:04 --> 03:32:07

with that. In the past actually, if you

03:32:07 --> 03:32:07

take

03:32:08 --> 03:32:09

this kind of light, the

03:32:10 --> 03:32:12

artificial light we have, in the past they

03:32:12 --> 03:32:13

were like that.

03:32:13 --> 03:32:14

Many children,

03:32:15 --> 03:32:16

and they were able to do the right

03:32:16 --> 03:32:18

thing. So what I'm what I'm saying here

03:32:18 --> 03:32:21

is, you see when the first child comes,

03:32:21 --> 03:32:24

the parents are supposed to invest in him.

03:32:24 --> 03:32:26

Pump and pump him with good tilbeia, good

03:32:26 --> 03:32:27

education.

03:32:27 --> 03:32:30

Trust me, the moment he start becoming

03:32:30 --> 03:32:32

a big, you know, understanding things, when the

03:32:32 --> 03:32:36

next child comes, he will cooperate in giving

03:32:36 --> 03:32:38

therapy at 2. That next child,

03:32:38 --> 03:32:40

their relationship look at your children, although they

03:32:40 --> 03:32:42

are very young, but they hang around each

03:32:42 --> 03:32:44

other more than the way they hang around

03:32:44 --> 03:32:47

with you. This younger one is always learning

03:32:47 --> 03:32:48

from the big one.

03:32:49 --> 03:32:51

If I invest in the big one, my

03:32:51 --> 03:32:53

job in the small one is going to

03:32:53 --> 03:32:53

be

03:32:53 --> 03:32:54

less.

03:32:55 --> 03:32:57

That's why you reach a position when you

03:32:57 --> 03:32:58

have 5, 6 children.

03:32:59 --> 03:33:02

The the wife, the mother used to sit

03:33:02 --> 03:33:03

down and teach them, you know, how to

03:33:03 --> 03:33:06

write their homeworks and do everything. Trust me,

03:33:06 --> 03:33:08

if she's smart, she and the father from

03:33:08 --> 03:33:10

the beginning, she will reach a moment when

03:33:10 --> 03:33:12

she doesn't need to do all of these.

03:33:12 --> 03:33:13

Just to remind,

03:33:14 --> 03:33:18

Karim, did you help your your siblings to

03:33:18 --> 03:33:20

to do their homework? She doesn't need to

03:33:20 --> 03:33:22

do those jobs because somebody's doing the therapy

03:33:22 --> 03:33:23

for her.

03:33:24 --> 03:33:25

So the role of,

03:33:26 --> 03:33:27

the oldest child

03:33:27 --> 03:33:30

is to act as the father for them.

03:33:30 --> 03:33:31

In some families I'm telling you it's like

03:33:31 --> 03:33:32

that.

03:33:32 --> 03:33:34

That's why when when we talk about them

03:33:34 --> 03:33:37

you see a child say the man saying

03:33:37 --> 03:33:39

this person is like a mother to me.

03:33:39 --> 03:33:41

She's our old the oldest sister is in

03:33:41 --> 03:33:41

us.

03:33:42 --> 03:33:44

But she replaces our mother. We lost our

03:33:44 --> 03:33:47

mother but we never see difference in life.

03:33:47 --> 03:33:50

That means the parent were doing the right

03:33:50 --> 03:33:52

thing, most likely. You get it? So my

03:33:52 --> 03:33:55

advice is please don't be lazy. When the

03:33:55 --> 03:33:57

first child comes, you have a lot of

03:33:57 --> 03:33:57

jobs.

03:33:58 --> 03:34:00

Yeah. Don't be lazy. Do it correctly.

03:34:01 --> 03:34:02

It is for your own benefit. For their

03:34:02 --> 03:34:04

own benefit and for your own benefit also

03:34:04 --> 03:34:06

to be able to relax in the future.

03:34:06 --> 03:34:08

Otherwise, trust me, in the future you will

03:34:08 --> 03:34:10

be giving terbia to all of them and

03:34:10 --> 03:34:12

sometimes there are so many you're

03:34:12 --> 03:34:13

not going to be able to do the

03:34:13 --> 03:34:15

right thing and then you let those liberalists

03:34:15 --> 03:34:17

to come and give you Khutva.

03:34:17 --> 03:34:18

Why do you have them at the first

03:34:18 --> 03:34:19

place?

03:34:20 --> 03:34:22

Is that clear Insha'Allah? So the role of,

03:34:23 --> 03:34:25

the children at home, the big ones, is

03:34:25 --> 03:34:27

to do the same

03:34:28 --> 03:34:30

thing that the parent are doing. You get

03:34:30 --> 03:34:32

it? That's why also it is important to

03:34:32 --> 03:34:33

teach them respect.

03:34:33 --> 03:34:35

So that when the older one asks them

03:34:35 --> 03:34:37

to do something, they respect that command and

03:34:37 --> 03:34:39

do it as if,

03:34:39 --> 03:34:41

it is coming from from the father.

03:34:43 --> 03:34:44

Next question.

03:34:44 --> 03:34:47

K, Sheikh. We have a question regarding Arafa.

03:34:47 --> 03:34:48

Yeah.

03:34:48 --> 03:34:50

Sheikh, the question is,

03:34:50 --> 03:34:53

do we make dua in the exact window

03:34:53 --> 03:34:56

or more virtuous of time that the pilgrims

03:34:56 --> 03:34:58

are standing on Arafah in Makkah or between

03:34:58 --> 03:35:00

the Asr and Maghrib in our respective country?

03:35:02 --> 03:35:05

The day of Arafa completely, and, the time

03:35:05 --> 03:35:07

of the Arafa is the best time. Prophet

03:35:08 --> 03:35:09

said the best way I made me and

03:35:10 --> 03:35:12

the other prophets before me is,

03:35:17 --> 03:35:19

So the time when the people are there

03:35:19 --> 03:35:21

standing in Arafat, this is the best moment

03:35:21 --> 03:35:21

inshallah.

03:35:23 --> 03:35:23

Allah

03:35:24 --> 03:35:25

accept all of us and help us to

03:35:25 --> 03:35:26

do the right thing.

03:35:43 --> 03:35:45

So the question is, how can that had

03:35:45 --> 03:35:46

it be considered as dua?

03:35:47 --> 03:35:49

What is what are we asking in in

03:35:49 --> 03:35:50

that

03:35:51 --> 03:35:51

with that?

03:35:53 --> 03:35:56

And that one. Yeah. I like that. A

03:35:56 --> 03:35:56

lot.

03:36:02 --> 03:36:03

He got into trouble.

03:36:05 --> 03:36:07

Yeah. In the well, in the whale, right?

03:36:08 --> 03:36:09

What did he say to Allah subhanahu wa

03:36:09 --> 03:36:10

ta'ala?

03:36:12 --> 03:36:13

He said something.

03:36:14 --> 03:36:15

He said something. Right?

03:36:26 --> 03:36:28

I said Yunus? I said Yunus. I

03:36:29 --> 03:36:32

heard Yusuf. No problem, Al Amin. No problem.

03:36:32 --> 03:36:34

Let's say go to Yusuf and now I

03:36:34 --> 03:36:35

make correction. Yunus.

03:36:36 --> 03:36:36

So Yunus

03:36:37 --> 03:36:40

alaihi salam alameen, what did he say in

03:36:40 --> 03:36:40

the

03:36:41 --> 03:36:42

in that place?

03:36:46 --> 03:36:48

Did he ask Allah to take him out?

03:36:51 --> 03:36:51

No.

03:36:52 --> 03:36:53

He did not see anything.

03:36:54 --> 03:36:55

Yeah.

03:36:55 --> 03:36:56

And what happened?

03:36:57 --> 03:36:59

All the solutions, those which did not even

03:36:59 --> 03:37:01

come to his mind, you know, he got

03:37:01 --> 03:37:02

them.

03:37:03 --> 03:37:04

Because at that moment he wants to get

03:37:04 --> 03:37:06

out of this obstacle,

03:37:06 --> 03:37:07

and to get the,

03:37:08 --> 03:37:10

I mean, forgiveness from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

03:37:10 --> 03:37:13

Allah gave him that, gave him health, grew

03:37:13 --> 03:37:15

the tree for him, and sent him back

03:37:15 --> 03:37:17

to 100,000 people. You know he's struggling to

03:37:17 --> 03:37:19

get one, Now Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala sent

03:37:19 --> 03:37:20

him back

03:37:21 --> 03:37:21

to 100,000

03:37:21 --> 03:37:23

and all of them believe in Allah Subhanahu

03:37:23 --> 03:37:24

Wa Ta'ala.

03:37:26 --> 03:37:29

Allah And what did he say? So this

03:37:29 --> 03:37:32

is just like the dua will come. Some

03:37:32 --> 03:37:36

of the Adiyeh, the prophet just mentioned Allah

03:37:36 --> 03:37:38

subhanahu wa ta'ala and he called it dua.

03:37:38 --> 03:37:40

So this is just like the saying of

03:37:40 --> 03:37:40

the poet

03:37:47 --> 03:37:48

He was praising one of the leaders, he

03:37:48 --> 03:37:50

says, you were the one that when somebody

03:37:50 --> 03:37:51

praises you

03:37:51 --> 03:37:54

he doesn't need to tell you what he

03:37:54 --> 03:37:56

wants. You give. And that's so

03:37:57 --> 03:37:59

the best dua is the dua that contains

03:37:59 --> 03:38:00

the praises of Allah.

03:38:01 --> 03:38:02

You're saying

03:38:04 --> 03:38:05

Allah

03:38:09 --> 03:38:10

Allah knows all of your needs.

03:38:11 --> 03:38:13

That might be the reason why all of

03:38:13 --> 03:38:15

your needs will be settled because Allah knows

03:38:15 --> 03:38:17

and Subhanallah it is actually not in the

03:38:17 --> 03:38:19

way we see it. He knows what

03:38:19 --> 03:38:21

we what we what we what we want

03:38:21 --> 03:38:24

to say. And he knows our need beyond

03:38:24 --> 03:38:25

the way we we know them. So he

03:38:25 --> 03:38:27

will give you things which you don't even

03:38:27 --> 03:38:29

imagine, you know you don't even think of

03:38:29 --> 03:38:31

them but Allah subhanahu will give you because

03:38:31 --> 03:38:34

of that. You know that's why it's strong

03:38:34 --> 03:38:36

for a person to make dua without starting

03:38:36 --> 03:38:39

that dua by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,

03:38:51 --> 03:38:53

Next question, done?

03:38:54 --> 03:38:56

Okay then, alhamdulillah, I think we are almost

03:38:56 --> 03:38:56

done.

03:38:59 --> 03:39:00

Next question.

03:39:02 --> 03:39:04

If a family is affluent but do not

03:39:04 --> 03:39:06

have enough money in cash right now, can

03:39:06 --> 03:39:09

they borrow money for and then return it

03:39:09 --> 03:39:11

later? Yes. They can.

03:39:11 --> 03:39:13

You know, if they have money but they

03:39:13 --> 03:39:15

don't have the cash, they can borrow money

03:39:15 --> 03:39:16

for all here. It's wrong for them not

03:39:16 --> 03:39:17

to do it, you know.

03:39:18 --> 03:39:20

But as a poor person who doesn't have

03:39:20 --> 03:39:20

money,

03:39:21 --> 03:39:23

can he borrow money for over here?

03:39:24 --> 03:39:26

No. Yes.

03:39:26 --> 03:39:27

Yes, Sahid. Sorry, Sahid.

03:39:28 --> 03:39:31

Yes. He can borrow money, but should he

03:39:31 --> 03:39:32

borrow money for over here? No.

03:39:34 --> 03:39:37

Can he borrow money? Yes. Okay. Halal for

03:39:37 --> 03:39:38

him to do. But

03:39:38 --> 03:39:40

is it advisable for him to go for

03:39:40 --> 03:39:41

this? No.

03:39:41 --> 03:39:43

Yeah. Now you can live alone.

03:39:44 --> 03:39:46

Yeah. He didn't borrow money and then put

03:39:46 --> 03:39:48

himself into trouble. How to pay that money

03:39:48 --> 03:39:49

if he dies, then

03:39:49 --> 03:39:51

it become an obstacle

03:39:51 --> 03:39:52

against him,

03:39:53 --> 03:39:55

until the time he meets Allah.

03:39:56 --> 03:39:56

Yeah.

03:39:57 --> 03:39:58

Keshia, the last question.

03:39:59 --> 03:40:01

Sheikh, if if a father is not good

03:40:01 --> 03:40:03

to the mother and does not give her

03:40:03 --> 03:40:05

the rights, does not talk to her well,

03:40:05 --> 03:40:07

and does not give her money, etcetera, what

03:40:07 --> 03:40:08

should the child do?

03:40:09 --> 03:40:11

Don't side with the mother and don't side

03:40:11 --> 03:40:12

with the father.

03:40:14 --> 03:40:16

Yeah. And actually at the first place, the

03:40:16 --> 03:40:18

mother shouldn't let the child knows what is

03:40:18 --> 03:40:20

going on. Yeah. This is one of the

03:40:20 --> 03:40:21

mistakes we are making.

03:40:21 --> 03:40:24

We inform our kids about what the parents

03:40:24 --> 03:40:24

are doing.

03:40:25 --> 03:40:26

This is very dangerous.

03:40:27 --> 03:40:29

Your child shouldn't know what is going on

03:40:29 --> 03:40:31

between you and his mother.

03:40:32 --> 03:40:34

The mother shouldn't let the child know what

03:40:34 --> 03:40:36

is going on between her and the father.

03:40:37 --> 03:40:40

Yeah, they should fight inside the room,

03:40:41 --> 03:40:43

you know, kill each other there, but when

03:40:43 --> 03:40:46

they come out, they smile, you know. In

03:40:46 --> 03:40:47

the heart, they don't have this, but they

03:40:47 --> 03:40:49

don't let the children do this. And please

03:40:49 --> 03:40:51

do understand this because it is not

03:40:52 --> 03:40:53

possible for

03:40:54 --> 03:40:55

people to live without having differences.

03:40:56 --> 03:40:56

True?

03:40:57 --> 03:40:59

Husband and wife, they don't have differences?

03:41:01 --> 03:41:03

They they're going to have. This is part

03:41:03 --> 03:41:04

of our nature.

03:41:05 --> 03:41:07

So these differences should be avoided from the

03:41:07 --> 03:41:09

kids. They shouldn't know that you have problem

03:41:09 --> 03:41:12

with with their mother and the mother shouldn't

03:41:12 --> 03:41:13

know that she has problem with the father.

03:41:14 --> 03:41:16

That's why if the children ask her for

03:41:16 --> 03:41:19

something or they show dislikeness towards that which

03:41:19 --> 03:41:21

the father is doing, the mother should tell

03:41:21 --> 03:41:23

them, no, your father is good in doing

03:41:23 --> 03:41:24

that, she prays him.

03:41:25 --> 03:41:27

Yeah, she deal with the matter between her

03:41:27 --> 03:41:28

and the father.

03:41:28 --> 03:41:29

This is very

03:41:29 --> 03:41:31

bad to the kids.

03:41:31 --> 03:41:32

Many kids are depressed

03:41:33 --> 03:41:34

and the cause of this depression

03:41:35 --> 03:41:37

is the environment in the house.

03:41:38 --> 03:41:41

Yeah. One of them said I never never

03:41:41 --> 03:41:43

see my parents having a good relationship with

03:41:43 --> 03:41:46

each other. So that translates the situation she

03:41:46 --> 03:41:48

is in right now.

03:41:49 --> 03:41:50

And many many many like that, trust me

03:41:50 --> 03:41:53

my dear brothers and sisters. That's why the

03:41:53 --> 03:41:55

scholar said it's wrong for me

03:41:55 --> 03:41:58

and my family to share our differences with

03:41:58 --> 03:41:59

the kids.

03:41:59 --> 03:42:01

You get it? We shouldn't let them know.

03:42:02 --> 03:42:04

If they know something, we try to let

03:42:04 --> 03:42:07

them understand that that person, the other the

03:42:07 --> 03:42:09

other, partner

03:42:09 --> 03:42:11

is good and is doing well.

03:42:12 --> 03:42:14

Yeah. Let them have positive thinking.

03:42:14 --> 03:42:15

Yeah. The child

03:42:16 --> 03:42:17

stands with who?

03:42:19 --> 03:42:21

The child baby the kids at home. They

03:42:21 --> 03:42:23

side with who? Mother.

03:42:24 --> 03:42:24

No.

03:42:25 --> 03:42:26

They side with who?

03:42:28 --> 03:42:31

Mother. No. That's right. It depends. It depends.

03:42:31 --> 03:42:33

Okay? I know he's gonna tell me it

03:42:33 --> 03:42:35

depends. Right? Since I reject this one, I

03:42:35 --> 03:42:36

reject that one.

03:42:37 --> 03:42:38

They side with who?

03:42:39 --> 03:42:41

Father or the mother? No.

03:42:43 --> 03:42:45

They side with 1 person.

03:42:49 --> 03:42:52

No. No. No. No. You use the money.

03:42:52 --> 03:42:54

No. If you go with whoever they like

03:42:54 --> 03:42:55

more, you know.

03:42:55 --> 03:42:57

The one who listens to

03:42:57 --> 03:43:00

it. No. No. No. When the reality comes,

03:43:00 --> 03:43:02

they're not it's not like that. I can

03:43:02 --> 03:43:04

share with you stories which I will not,

03:43:04 --> 03:43:04

but

03:43:05 --> 03:43:07

I learned that when the reality comes, the

03:43:07 --> 03:43:09

children, they have their own preference. They might

03:43:09 --> 03:43:12

side with somebody, go with him always because

03:43:12 --> 03:43:13

they have Maslaha.

03:43:13 --> 03:43:15

The moment this Maslaha finished,

03:43:16 --> 03:43:17

they come to

03:43:18 --> 03:43:20

the other one. But what happened

03:43:21 --> 03:43:22

in the past? Why didn't they? Because they

03:43:22 --> 03:43:24

have must lie in that place, but their

03:43:24 --> 03:43:25

heart is here.

03:43:27 --> 03:43:29

You get it? Yeah. They said naturally the

03:43:29 --> 03:43:31

kids side with the weak one among the

03:43:31 --> 03:43:34

family the the family, the 2. Whoever is

03:43:34 --> 03:43:34

weak.

03:43:35 --> 03:43:36

This is their nature, if the father is

03:43:36 --> 03:43:39

weak trust me the kids will be siding

03:43:39 --> 03:43:41

with him. If the mother is weak they

03:43:41 --> 03:43:43

will be siding with her. But usually because

03:43:43 --> 03:43:44

who is weak in the house?

03:43:45 --> 03:43:47

The father or the mother? The mother, that's

03:43:47 --> 03:43:49

why they side with the mother more. But

03:43:49 --> 03:43:51

if you have a family where the father

03:43:51 --> 03:43:53

is the weak one, the mother is

03:43:54 --> 03:43:55

giant almost punching

03:43:56 --> 03:43:57

him, trust me the kids will always be

03:43:57 --> 03:43:58

on his side.

03:43:59 --> 03:44:02

They'll also punch back. Who? The mother.

03:44:03 --> 03:44:05

Yeah. So that's why we shouldn't share,

03:44:05 --> 03:44:07

you know, our problems with them because they

03:44:07 --> 03:44:10

are going to translate it according to their

03:44:10 --> 03:44:12

own translation and side with the one they

03:44:12 --> 03:44:14

believe is weak based on this story.

03:44:14 --> 03:44:17

Yeah. And they would disrespect the other one.

03:44:17 --> 03:44:19

Trust me, if the mother is to tell

03:44:19 --> 03:44:21

them something wrong about the father, a day

03:44:21 --> 03:44:22

will come when the father asks them to

03:44:22 --> 03:44:24

do something, they might not do it and

03:44:24 --> 03:44:26

they'll have this hatred whenever they see

03:44:26 --> 03:44:28

him. And if the father is going to

03:44:28 --> 03:44:30

share these things with the with the mother,

03:44:30 --> 03:44:32

they might have hatred towards the the mother

03:44:32 --> 03:44:33

whenever they they meet her.

03:44:34 --> 03:44:35

So please take this,

03:44:36 --> 03:44:39

this from me. Your problem with the the

03:44:39 --> 03:44:42

the father or the mother should be in

03:44:42 --> 03:44:44

the room. The kids should know about this,

03:44:45 --> 03:44:47

you know. The love grant is good and

03:44:47 --> 03:44:49

if they happen to know, they are matured,

03:44:49 --> 03:44:51

they should be very careful.

03:44:51 --> 03:44:54

Yeah. Because I know a people, I know

03:44:54 --> 03:44:56

a person who faces a lot of problem

03:44:56 --> 03:44:58

because his father realized that he's siding with

03:44:58 --> 03:45:00

the mother so the father stopped listening to

03:45:00 --> 03:45:01

him

03:45:02 --> 03:45:02

completely

03:45:03 --> 03:45:05

because he told him, you're siding with so

03:45:05 --> 03:45:06

and so and so person.

03:45:07 --> 03:45:09

Because he wants him to side with him,

03:45:09 --> 03:45:11

yeah? So if the boy knows or the

03:45:11 --> 03:45:12

girl knows,

03:45:12 --> 03:45:15

she shouldn't side with the father or side

03:45:15 --> 03:45:17

with the mother, Just be neutral.

03:45:17 --> 03:45:19

Try to advise both of them.

03:45:20 --> 03:45:21

Yeah? But at the first place as I

03:45:21 --> 03:45:22

said,

03:45:22 --> 03:45:25

it's wrong to fight your parents. There are

03:45:25 --> 03:45:27

families who fight fight fight fight in the

03:45:27 --> 03:45:28

presence of their kids.

03:45:29 --> 03:45:31

It's very dangerous and very bad

03:45:31 --> 03:45:32

and the kids they are going to be

03:45:32 --> 03:45:34

independent in the wrong way because they don't

03:45:34 --> 03:45:36

see a role model in the house.

03:45:36 --> 03:45:38

Yeah. They will see useless people

03:45:39 --> 03:45:41

and they're under the control of this one.

03:45:41 --> 03:45:42

So then they will they will have to

03:45:42 --> 03:45:44

figure out how to live at all.

03:45:45 --> 03:45:47

This message, I think, is very clear. Right?

03:45:47 --> 03:45:49

We're gonna have differences with our own spouse,

03:45:49 --> 03:45:51

they have difference with you but,

03:45:52 --> 03:45:53

should be resolved

03:45:53 --> 03:45:56

separately without letting the kids know about what

03:45:56 --> 03:45:58

is going on in the family.

03:46:00 --> 03:46:01

Are we done?

03:46:02 --> 03:46:05

Okay. Jisakumullah khairan may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

03:46:05 --> 03:46:07

grant you good and once again sorry for

03:46:07 --> 03:46:10

keeping you here for so long, especially many

03:46:10 --> 03:46:12

of you are not married. I wish I

03:46:12 --> 03:46:13

have only the married one so that we

03:46:13 --> 03:46:14

can have a discussion.

03:46:15 --> 03:46:16

Honestly speaking, I wanted this to be just

03:46:16 --> 03:46:18

a discussion, not talking.

03:46:19 --> 03:46:21

Discussion between me and the people. It is

03:46:21 --> 03:46:22

more productive than

03:46:23 --> 03:46:27

Sarbod Masai. But anyway, having the bachelor's, those

03:46:27 --> 03:46:28

people who are not married yet, it is

03:46:28 --> 03:46:32

okay also to go, through the lecture lecture

03:46:32 --> 03:46:34

kind of a mode. May Allah grant the

03:46:34 --> 03:46:37

parents amongst you ability to give good terabirah

03:46:37 --> 03:46:39

to their kids and may Allah, as well

03:46:39 --> 03:46:40

as preserve you and your family.

03:46:41 --> 03:46:43

And I really urge you to understand the

03:46:43 --> 03:46:43

need of

03:46:44 --> 03:46:45

the the Ummah.

03:46:45 --> 03:46:48

Do give good tibia to your kids for

03:46:48 --> 03:46:49

the sake of the Ummah, Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi

03:46:49 --> 03:46:50

Wasallam

03:46:50 --> 03:46:52

and please control

03:46:52 --> 03:46:54

the media. I wanted to talk about this

03:46:54 --> 03:46:57

unfortunately I couldn't. Control the media with your

03:46:57 --> 03:46:58

kids.

03:46:58 --> 03:47:00

If it is not necessary, don't give and

03:47:00 --> 03:47:03

don't worry about not giving. Give them other

03:47:03 --> 03:47:05

alternatives and they are. Play with them physically,

03:47:05 --> 03:47:07

you rather than giving,

03:47:07 --> 03:47:10

the devices on them. It destroys more than

03:47:10 --> 03:47:11

fixing.

03:47:11 --> 03:47:14

Destroying the brain, destroy the terrier, destroy so

03:47:14 --> 03:47:16

many things. So it's not funny. It's not

03:47:16 --> 03:47:18

also something, you know,

03:47:19 --> 03:47:22

cool to be done. Yeah. Just resist and

03:47:22 --> 03:47:24

be very hazy on this matter. Give them

03:47:24 --> 03:47:26

what they need. You know, in the primary

03:47:26 --> 03:47:27

stage,

03:47:27 --> 03:47:30

primary school stage, I don't think any child

03:47:30 --> 03:47:32

need to be having a phone.

03:47:33 --> 03:47:36

None whatsoever. Even in the secondary stage. Yeah.

03:47:36 --> 03:47:37

Give them when they come back home, when

03:47:37 --> 03:47:39

they need it, they should focus on education

03:47:39 --> 03:47:40

and physical

03:47:40 --> 03:47:42

games more and more. When there is any

03:47:42 --> 03:47:44

chance to watch things, all the family should

03:47:44 --> 03:47:46

go and watch. Train them upon this. But

03:47:46 --> 03:47:48

as I said, give them alternative because the

03:47:48 --> 03:47:49

environment

03:47:49 --> 03:47:51

is too strong in this regard. No matter

03:47:51 --> 03:47:54

how much you try, friends will influence them

03:47:54 --> 03:47:56

to take another path. But I do believe

03:47:56 --> 03:47:57

inshallah you have

03:47:58 --> 03:48:00

the ability to convince them that home is

03:48:00 --> 03:48:02

the best and physical games is is better

03:48:02 --> 03:48:05

than this kind of games that are none

03:48:05 --> 03:48:07

other than things which are corrupting the behavior

03:48:07 --> 03:48:09

of our kids. May Allah aid you in

03:48:09 --> 03:48:11

your in your journey. May Allah not make

03:48:11 --> 03:48:13

you regret in this life in, doing the

03:48:13 --> 03:48:15

terbiyah to your kids and may Allah grant

03:48:15 --> 03:48:17

you ability to please him in the terbiyah

03:48:17 --> 03:48:20

of the kids. And may Allah grant you

03:48:20 --> 03:48:22

ability to generate the fruits of giving terbiyah

03:48:22 --> 03:48:24

to your kids and make them those who

03:48:24 --> 03:48:26

will be making dua for you in the

03:48:26 --> 03:48:28

hereafter. I mean when you pass,

03:48:29 --> 03:48:31

pass away in this in this life. And

03:48:31 --> 03:48:34

may Allah submit them sadaqa jariyah for you.

03:48:34 --> 03:48:36

And Uma Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa salam.

03:49:09 --> 03:49:10

Together in JAMA in the nearby.

03:49:12 --> 03:49:12

So

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