Ibrahim Nuhu – Tarbiyyah 2024 #01

Ibrahim Nuhu
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AI: Summary ©

The importance of not losing faith and maintaining behavior until Islam is emphasized, along with the need for preparing the brain and avoiding rushing into marriage. The importance of history and strong marriage is crucial for a healthy family, and educating parents on healthy eating habits and respecting family privacy is emphasized. The speakers advise parents to be mindful of their children and avoid embarrassment, while acknowledging the danger of mistakes and misunderstandings and avoiding giving children what they need to see. The responsibility of step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal step phenomenal

AI: Summary ©

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			Brothers and sisters, as you know throughout the
		
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			semester we organize Islamic events calling people towards
		
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			the sunnah of Rasulullah
		
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			Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
		
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			However, as volunteers, many times we don't benefit
		
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			as much as audience.
		
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			So that is exactly why thervia sessions like
		
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			these are necessary.
		
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			So that we could improve ourselves and call
		
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			people towards the sunnah of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi
		
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			Wasallam.
		
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			Now before passing the mic to the Sheikh,
		
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			I have few reminders for everyone, including myself.
		
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			I advise everyone to purify their intentions. We
		
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			are here truly to improve ourself and to
		
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			learn from this talk.
		
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			Secondly, as today is the day of Alpha,
		
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			I advise everyone to fill up their time
		
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			with Tasvee, Tahmir and Tahleel of Allah
		
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			as these words are light on the tongue
		
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			but heavy on the mizan.
		
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			And lastly, I advise everyone to make a
		
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			lot of Dua because Dua Ayum El Arafah,
		
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			after the Duwah, you Dua Ayum El Arafah.
		
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			The best of Dua is the Duwah Mir
		
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			on the day of Arafah.
		
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			Now I would pass the mic to our
		
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			beloved Sheikh Ibrahim.
		
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			So
		
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			we gathered here to
		
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			talk about this noble and important topic.
		
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			Ask Allah
		
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			to grant us ability to do the right
		
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			thing
		
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			in addressing the matter
		
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			and also to say that,
		
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			which pleases Allah
		
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			first of all like
		
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			the
		
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			Sheikh just mentioned
		
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			about
		
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			the day of Arafa.
		
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			We really need to be
		
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			serious on this matter
		
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			he mentioned because we have a long journey
		
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			to Allah you
		
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			don't know when
		
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			are you going to depart back to Allah.
		
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			And living in this contemporary time of ours.
		
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			Where the dunya has changed a lot.
		
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			That which is to be which used to
		
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			be easy
		
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			to be preserving.
		
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			Today is quite difficult
		
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			due to the social media and a lot
		
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			of entertainment.
		
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			It's not easy to maintain your righteousness and
		
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			it's a calmer.
		
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			And therefore, it is our opportunity
		
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			yeah,
		
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			because
		
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			yeah because my dear brothers and sisters only
		
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			Allah
		
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			can help you and stand between you and
		
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			this higher.
		
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			If Allah
		
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			let you live your life alone,
		
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			you will fail.
		
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			Definitely, you will fail. You need a lost
		
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			on your side.
		
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			And
		
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			today, it's your opportunity to ask Allah
		
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			for this.
		
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			Repent to Allah
		
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			You know yourself more than anybody
		
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			else. Fix your attitude and your behavior.
		
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			Open a new file between you and Allah
		
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			Subhanahu wa ta'ala that you'll be
		
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			living,
		
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			with until the day you meet Allah.
		
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			Allah
		
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			says,
		
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			to Adul.
		
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			And you also believe in Allah and be
		
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			maintained there is because
		
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			faith and belief
		
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			you know, is very simple. Everyone can accept,
		
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			and everyone can claim things, but to maintain
		
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			this up to the moment you meet Allah
		
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			is not is not easy. Yeah. To maintain
		
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			this until the time you meet Allah is
		
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			not easy.
		
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			So this is your opportunity, as I said,
		
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			my dear brothers and sisters, to ask Allah
		
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			to help you to keep this is to
		
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			cover.
		
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			Is to cover means
		
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			you maintain your good behavior,
		
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			you know, towards Allah
		
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			until the time you you meet him. There
		
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			is no circumstance or time that will force
		
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			you to change.
		
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			Yeah. So may Allah grant you good and
		
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			ability to utilize,
		
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			this
		
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			uh-uh day
		
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			and may Allah
		
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			be with all of us and make us
		
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			among the successful ones.
		
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			So today inshallah,
		
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			we'll be dealing with an important matter which
		
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			is a matter of Telia.
		
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			So it is going to be inshallah
		
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			a continuation,
		
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			you know, of what we did during the
		
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			conference.
		
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			So I'll refresh our mind on that which
		
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			we, do
		
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			and then add what to be added
		
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			on top of what we
		
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			what we did. If you remember last time,
		
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			I began my talk
		
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			about
		
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			you know, with
		
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			the reality of this life nowadays.
		
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			The reality of Telbia
		
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			in this time of ours. And I mentioned
		
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			that the war against us
		
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			is not the physical one that we see.
		
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			I see it different. The war against us
		
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			is not a physical war that we see.
		
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			Yeah. Although that one is also,
		
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			fierce
		
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			and hard for us to handle.
		
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			But the the real one is a war
		
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			against us through our children.
		
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			You know that I'm, telling you the truth
		
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			that, nowadays, somebody else is taking care of
		
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			our children,
		
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			children. Not us.
		
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			You know, the kind of mentality we have
		
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			at home is different from what is supposed
		
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			to exist in the house of a Muslim.
		
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			So the existence of the social media and
		
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			all of its forms
		
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			and also negligence from the parent. Yeah. And
		
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			also negligence from the parent.
		
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			Somebody took over.
		
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			So what happened
		
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			is, in the future, if we're not careful,
		
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			all of the people who remain, they're already
		
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			brainwashed
		
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			and trained by those people. So they don't
		
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			need to make any effort to convince them
		
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			to support their hidden agendas.
		
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			You get idea because they are already on
		
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			those agendas.
		
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			That's the reason why I see it as
		
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			the real battle between us and our enemy.
		
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			Be you Allah. The real battle between us
		
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			and our enemy is how to give terbia
		
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			to our kids. Because trust me my dear
		
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			brothers and sisters,
		
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			if we manage to succeed in
		
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			giving good terbir to the kids, you don't
		
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			need to worry about the future.
		
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			All the old ones most likely are going
		
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			to be gone. The one who will took,
		
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			take over the responsibility
		
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			of leading
		
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			the nation inshallah to success will be the
		
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			younger one.
		
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			So if they are okay, we have no
		
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			fear that inshallah
		
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			the Muhammad Muhammad
		
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			will succeed in the future.
		
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			So I just want you to have a
		
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			you know a sense of, this that the
		
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			war against the Muslim and Islam
		
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			is done through our our children.
		
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			You go to our Masajid, who do you
		
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			find in the Masajid?
		
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			The old people, usually.
		
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			Yeah. And this is
		
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			the situation almost wherever you go. You know,
		
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			you go to the massaging, the old people.
		
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			You go to the school, who cares about
		
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			the Islamic Manus and Telvia?
		
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			Almost nobody.
		
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			From the management and the kids and the
		
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			parents.
		
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			You know?
		
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			So they succeed.
		
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			You know. They succeeded, you know, in this
		
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			in this regard.
		
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			But Alhamdulillah,
		
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			change is always possible.
		
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			As long as we are looking for it,
		
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			it is always possible for us to to
		
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			change.
		
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			So how to succeed in this
		
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			Telbia? To make a u-turn, to take over,
		
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			you know, our responsibility,
		
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			you know, to take it back from those
		
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			who stole it from us and put it
		
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			in in the wrong way. The first thing
		
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			I mentioned, if you remember, is preparing a
		
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			base.
		
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			You know, this is really necessary.
		
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			That's why
		
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			it is important for you to
		
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			look with the eyes of Terbia when you
		
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			are choosing a spouse.
		
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			Yeah, it is really important.
		
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			You know, keep aside all of those, you
		
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			know, physical, you know, appearance.
		
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			Trust me, they will fizzle. They will go.
		
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			Yeah. You'll come when you will become more
		
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			matured,
		
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			more responsible,
		
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			you see things in their
		
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			reality,
		
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			then you will be, you will begin to,
		
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			you know, think that
		
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			most likely I did the wrong choice.
		
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			You know, you're supposed to have this kind
		
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			of eyes when you are choosing the spouse.
		
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			Somebody who is supposed to be with you,
		
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			cooperating and helping you to make a success
		
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			in giving terabir to their children.
		
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			When you're choosing a spouse, make sure that
		
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			you put in your mind that this is
		
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			supposed to be the mother of your children.
		
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			This is supposed to be the father of
		
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			your children.
		
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			If you don't have this, trust me my
		
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			dear brothers and sisters, you are going to
		
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			fail.
		
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			Because you will choose based on your own
		
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			personal interest,
		
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			which will not remain.
		
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			You know, the more you age, trust me,
		
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			the more you age. You are young, you
		
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			might not realize it. But the more you
		
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			age,
		
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			the,
		
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			you know, lesser your desire is.
		
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			In these type of things, that's why when
		
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			Jabeel married,
		
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			and he married not even old woman but
		
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			he married a a widow.
		
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			Asked him,
		
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			Jabeel, why are you so speedy? You're Russian.
		
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			He said, Rasulah, I just recently married.
		
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			So the prophet
		
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			told him, oh, what did you marry? Who,
		
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			whom do you marry?
		
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			Jabin said,
		
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			Absalah,
		
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			I I human catalyst, Bill Medina. He said
		
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			it was a widow who is living with
		
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			us in Medina.
		
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			The
		
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			prophet look at him, very young person, marrying
		
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			a widow.
		
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			Is it halal?
		
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			Yes, it's halal Islam
		
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			he did.
		
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			Yeah, he married
		
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			Khadija
		
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			who is way older than him.
		
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			Yeah, and all of his wives are widows
		
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			actually except Aisha
		
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			and he married a younger person who is
		
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			at the age of his grand
		
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			granddaughter
		
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			Aisha at the age of 6.
		
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			Yeah, so it's halal.
		
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			However, Islam
		
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			has its own recommendations.
		
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			It's Rasulullah.
		
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			He advised people to marry those who did
		
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			not marry
		
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			you know
		
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			yet
		
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			not to discourage people from marrying the other
		
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			ones but
		
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			he says
		
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			and he he mentioned some you know virtues
		
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			that you can find in this one which
		
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			might not be found. Not necessarily. You know,
		
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			to miss them but might not be found.
		
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			So when he see Jabir,
		
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			you know,
		
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			marrying a widow, he was surprised, he told
		
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			him, Jabil, why? Why widow?
		
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			He says, why didn't you marry
		
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			a big, a virgin,
		
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			woman,
		
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			that you will be playing with her and
		
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			she plays with you. Yeah, because the age
		
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			is still young.
		
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			This mentality of playing is still there. Okay,
		
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			this is part of the the marital life.
		
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			So the prophet
		
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			told them, why don't you get somebody like
		
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			this that will you be playing with? She
		
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			plays with you. You laugh, she laughs. Not
		
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			somebody who is always serious.
		
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			Because she went through
		
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			difficulties and experiences of life, so she might
		
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			not be like this one. So the prophet
		
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			told him why didn't you get
		
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			this? You get it? He says
		
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			so Jabin told the prophet
		
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			he said,
		
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			you Rasulullah, the reason why I
		
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			made this choice,
		
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			it was
		
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			the fact that my father, before he died,
		
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			he told me, Jabir,
		
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			you know, I'm afraid that I will be
		
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			among the first people to be killed during
		
00:15:19 --> 00:15:20
			this sad battle.
		
00:15:20 --> 00:15:22
			And please, if this happened,
		
00:15:23 --> 00:15:25
			take care of your your siblings.
		
00:15:26 --> 00:15:29
			So he has a younger uh-uh siblings.
		
00:15:29 --> 00:15:32
			So the prophet I'm sorry Jabin, when the
		
00:15:32 --> 00:15:33
			father told him this,
		
00:15:34 --> 00:15:34
			he
		
00:15:35 --> 00:15:37
			said this is the reason why I compromise
		
00:15:37 --> 00:15:38
			my
		
00:15:39 --> 00:15:40
			my right. I know it's better for me
		
00:15:40 --> 00:15:43
			to go for this but to fulfill the
		
00:15:43 --> 00:15:44
			of my father,
		
00:15:44 --> 00:15:46
			I compromise this fight.
		
00:15:48 --> 00:15:48
			So
		
00:15:49 --> 00:15:49
			the prophet
		
00:15:50 --> 00:15:53
			advised him to marry somebody. Somebody young at
		
00:15:53 --> 00:15:55
			that age. So that he can benefit from
		
00:15:55 --> 00:15:57
			the early you know part of his his
		
00:15:57 --> 00:15:58
			marriage.
		
00:15:59 --> 00:16:01
			And prophetess Allahu Soma did not advise him
		
00:16:01 --> 00:16:03
			to take from the widow.
		
00:16:04 --> 00:16:06
			So don't forget, I'm trying to emphasize
		
00:16:07 --> 00:16:09
			to you that the more you age, the
		
00:16:09 --> 00:16:09
			lesser
		
00:16:10 --> 00:16:11
			desire
		
00:16:11 --> 00:16:12
			in
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:13
			what marriage necessitate,
		
00:16:14 --> 00:16:15
			you know,
		
00:16:17 --> 00:16:19
			you have. So the prophet
		
00:16:19 --> 00:16:21
			did not advise him to marry. We don't,
		
00:16:21 --> 00:16:23
			he told him to go with that one.
		
00:16:23 --> 00:16:24
			On another occasion, the prophet
		
00:16:25 --> 00:16:25
			said,
		
00:16:26 --> 00:16:27
			the first
		
00:16:27 --> 00:16:29
			three people that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will
		
00:16:29 --> 00:16:30
			not speak to.
		
00:16:31 --> 00:16:32
			And he will not look at them,
		
00:16:33 --> 00:16:34
			and Allah will not purify them,
		
00:16:35 --> 00:16:37
			and they will be among the worst in
		
00:16:37 --> 00:16:39
			the eyes of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
		
00:16:39 --> 00:16:41
			He says Sheikh Hunzani,
		
00:16:42 --> 00:16:44
			an old man that commits death.
		
00:16:45 --> 00:16:46
			And
		
00:16:47 --> 00:16:48
			a king that lies.
		
00:16:49 --> 00:16:50
			Or Ailu Mustakbir
		
00:16:51 --> 00:16:53
			and a poor and destitute person who is
		
00:16:53 --> 00:16:54
			arrogant.
		
00:16:55 --> 00:16:57
			You know he says Sheikh Hunzani,
		
00:16:57 --> 00:16:59
			an old man that commits you now.
		
00:17:00 --> 00:17:01
			Why is he included?
		
00:17:02 --> 00:17:04
			Because at this age, the desire
		
00:17:04 --> 00:17:07
			is is very low. But still he committed
		
00:17:07 --> 00:17:09
			Zina, that's why Allah is treating him in
		
00:17:09 --> 00:17:10
			this, in this way.
		
00:17:11 --> 00:17:12
			Malekum Kedab,
		
00:17:12 --> 00:17:14
			the king that lies.
		
00:17:14 --> 00:17:16
			Why do we lie?
		
00:17:16 --> 00:17:17
			Because we are afraid of?
		
00:17:18 --> 00:17:20
			Because we are afraid of punishment.
		
00:17:20 --> 00:17:21
			Right?
		
00:17:22 --> 00:17:24
			But this person is the king in the
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:25
			country.
		
00:17:25 --> 00:17:26
			He's afraid of who?
		
00:17:27 --> 00:17:29
			You get it? So he got this worst
		
00:17:29 --> 00:17:30
			type of punishment.
		
00:17:31 --> 00:17:34
			When he meets Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. And
		
00:17:34 --> 00:17:34
			the last one
		
00:17:36 --> 00:17:38
			is usually arrogance comes comes from who?
		
00:17:39 --> 00:17:40
			Rich person.
		
00:17:40 --> 00:17:43
			But this person is poor and destitute. But
		
00:17:43 --> 00:17:44
			at the same time he's arrogant.
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:47
			So the first part of this hadith you
		
00:17:47 --> 00:17:47
			can see.
		
00:17:48 --> 00:17:49
			The prophet said
		
00:17:49 --> 00:17:51
			among those people that will be punished by
		
00:17:51 --> 00:17:54
			Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. The first part of
		
00:17:54 --> 00:17:55
			the day of judgement and Allah Subhanahu wa
		
00:17:55 --> 00:17:57
			ta'ala will not even look at them.
		
00:17:57 --> 00:18:00
			Is this man who is an old man
		
00:18:00 --> 00:18:02
			but at the same time committing zina?
		
00:18:03 --> 00:18:04
			So what I want you to take from
		
00:18:04 --> 00:18:07
			these two stories is the fact that
		
00:18:07 --> 00:18:09
			this desire that you're having nowadays,
		
00:18:09 --> 00:18:11
			trust me, whether you like it or you
		
00:18:11 --> 00:18:13
			like it, it's part of our life. It's
		
00:18:13 --> 00:18:16
			very natural for it to reduce. From both
		
00:18:16 --> 00:18:17
			side.
		
00:18:17 --> 00:18:19
			So if the purpose of your marriage is
		
00:18:19 --> 00:18:21
			this, it is going to go down. And
		
00:18:21 --> 00:18:24
			now you're becoming more responsible. You have kids
		
00:18:24 --> 00:18:26
			next to you. They need your attention. They
		
00:18:26 --> 00:18:28
			need their mother's attention. This is the time
		
00:18:28 --> 00:18:29
			you will be remembering,
		
00:18:30 --> 00:18:32
			you know, that which I'm saying now.
		
00:18:33 --> 00:18:34
			If you do not make the right choice,
		
00:18:35 --> 00:18:37
			that you should be looking with these type
		
00:18:37 --> 00:18:40
			of glasses before you choose whomsoever you are
		
00:18:40 --> 00:18:42
			choosing. Yeah, this is going to be the
		
00:18:42 --> 00:18:44
			mother, this is going to be the father
		
00:18:44 --> 00:18:46
			of your your children.
		
00:18:46 --> 00:18:49
			We have many cases where the divorce happened.
		
00:18:49 --> 00:18:51
			The wife is afraid of,
		
00:18:52 --> 00:18:54
			the, I mean, divorcing the husband because
		
00:18:54 --> 00:18:57
			she believes if she do that, you know,
		
00:18:57 --> 00:18:59
			the custody will go to the father and
		
00:18:59 --> 00:19:00
			the father is corrupt.
		
00:19:01 --> 00:19:03
			The father is bad. You know, Or sometimes,
		
00:19:04 --> 00:19:04
			the father
		
00:19:05 --> 00:19:06
			wanted to divorce
		
00:19:06 --> 00:19:09
			because he believes that this marriage cannot be
		
00:19:09 --> 00:19:11
			tolerated anymore. But he has a strong fear
		
00:19:11 --> 00:19:14
			that if he divorced her, the custody will
		
00:19:14 --> 00:19:16
			go to her and she and he knows
		
00:19:16 --> 00:19:16
			who she is.
		
00:19:17 --> 00:19:19
			All of these are supposed to be, you
		
00:19:19 --> 00:19:21
			know, placed in mind. In the way when
		
00:19:21 --> 00:19:23
			the divorce happened, you know, Allah
		
00:19:23 --> 00:19:24
			even says,
		
00:19:25 --> 00:19:28
			do not forget the virtue and the good
		
00:19:28 --> 00:19:30
			life that used to exist amongst you in
		
00:19:30 --> 00:19:33
			the in the past when the divorce happened.
		
00:19:33 --> 00:19:35
			So you are supposed to divorce a person
		
00:19:35 --> 00:19:36
			that you don't mind,
		
00:19:37 --> 00:19:40
			you know, leaving your kids with her. And
		
00:19:40 --> 00:19:42
			she doesn't mind leaving her kids with you
		
00:19:42 --> 00:19:43
			because she knows who you are.
		
00:19:44 --> 00:19:46
			But trust me, in many instances, this is
		
00:19:46 --> 00:19:47
			not the case.
		
00:19:47 --> 00:19:50
			The father, if he's righteous, he has a
		
00:19:50 --> 00:19:52
			strong fear of his children getting
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:53
			lost
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:55
			because he's going to give them an
		
00:19:56 --> 00:19:58
			the hand off. The mother because he knows
		
00:19:58 --> 00:20:00
			who she is and the mother also on
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:03
			the other hand she is afraid of divorce
		
00:20:03 --> 00:20:05
			and sometimes she has to you know force
		
00:20:05 --> 00:20:07
			herself to to stay in that marriage. Although
		
00:20:07 --> 00:20:10
			she believes that divorce is the best, you
		
00:20:10 --> 00:20:12
			know, solution for her case. You know, because
		
00:20:12 --> 00:20:14
			she has been traumatized and there is no
		
00:20:14 --> 00:20:16
			good in living with this person. However,
		
00:20:16 --> 00:20:18
			she's afraid of this
		
00:20:19 --> 00:20:22
			divorce because of the kids. Because she knows
		
00:20:22 --> 00:20:23
			that if she divorce him, he'll be the
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:25
			one who will take over the custody of
		
00:20:25 --> 00:20:27
			the kids and they will get into trouble.
		
00:20:27 --> 00:20:29
			So my dear brothers and sisters, please
		
00:20:30 --> 00:20:30
			please
		
00:20:31 --> 00:20:33
			put this on your mind. That you're going
		
00:20:33 --> 00:20:35
			to choose somebody who is supposed to be
		
00:20:35 --> 00:20:37
			the mother or the father of your of
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:41
			your children. And therefore this person has to
		
00:20:41 --> 00:20:42
			be the best
		
00:20:42 --> 00:20:43
			educator,
		
00:20:43 --> 00:20:44
			the best person who
		
00:20:45 --> 00:20:45
			you know
		
00:20:47 --> 00:20:49
			knows what Telvia is all about and who,
		
00:20:49 --> 00:20:50
			you know,
		
00:20:51 --> 00:20:54
			favor, you know, and prefer, you know, staying
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:56
			and giving the priority to the children rather
		
00:20:56 --> 00:21:00
			than their personal interest. That's why it is
		
00:21:00 --> 00:21:02
			one of the advice of the scholars that
		
00:21:02 --> 00:21:05
			when you marry a person, you should
		
00:21:05 --> 00:21:07
			look into the readiness of that person to
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:10
			to marry and also to give therapy to
		
00:21:10 --> 00:21:13
			the kids in in the future. If you
		
00:21:13 --> 00:21:15
			marry somebody who is not ready, you will
		
00:21:15 --> 00:21:16
			get into into trouble.
		
00:21:17 --> 00:21:20
			So if that person is not ready to,
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:23
			you know, compromise their own personal interest for
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:25
			the sake of those whom a lost mortal
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:27
			will be giving you in in the future.
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:30
			Trust me, it is a a time for
		
00:21:30 --> 00:21:30
			you
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:33
			to cancel this proposal and move forward and
		
00:21:33 --> 00:21:35
			look for somebody else. Alhamdulillah.
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:36
			Alhamdulillah.
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:39
			Up to date, we still have the good
		
00:21:39 --> 00:21:39
			ones.
		
00:21:40 --> 00:21:40
			True?
		
00:21:41 --> 00:21:42
			Do we have good sisters?
		
00:21:45 --> 00:21:47
			Salam. Do we have good brothers? Yes.
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:51
			Nobody can convince me that because I have
		
00:21:51 --> 00:21:53
			I have heard this. It's very,
		
00:21:54 --> 00:21:57
			difficult or that is no good person or
		
00:21:57 --> 00:21:59
			that's a lie. That is
		
00:21:59 --> 00:22:00
			a lot.
		
00:22:00 --> 00:22:03
			Yeah. So if this one is not ready,
		
00:22:03 --> 00:22:05
			why do you stick to this person?
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:08
			If this person is very handsome, so pretty,
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10
			trust me, you will see somebody who is
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:11
			better.
		
00:22:13 --> 00:22:15
			You just need to seek the support from
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:16
			Allah and
		
00:22:17 --> 00:22:19
			open your eyes and move forward.
		
00:22:19 --> 00:22:22
			But don't you ever rush when it comes
		
00:22:22 --> 00:22:23
			to marriage.
		
00:22:23 --> 00:22:25
			K? I hope you guys, you know, are
		
00:22:25 --> 00:22:28
			opening your ears to listen to this, properly.
		
00:22:29 --> 00:22:31
			Don't you ever close your eyes. You know?
		
00:22:31 --> 00:22:34
			Open your eyes and don't rush. Yeah. Don't
		
00:22:34 --> 00:22:35
			rush.
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:36
			Check properly.
		
00:22:36 --> 00:22:39
			Don't rush. No need to rush. Many of
		
00:22:39 --> 00:22:40
			us are really rushing when it comes to
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:43
			marriages, especially those who are marrying for the
		
00:22:43 --> 00:22:45
			first time. No.
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:47
			Your time has value. You know, your time
		
00:22:47 --> 00:22:50
			has value. So open your eyes
		
00:22:50 --> 00:22:52
			and don't rush and make sure that you
		
00:22:52 --> 00:22:54
			choose the person that inshallah
		
00:22:55 --> 00:22:57
			you will not you will not regret by
		
00:22:57 --> 00:22:58
			choosing,
		
00:22:58 --> 00:23:01
			that person. So these are the first thing
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:03
			to be done. You know, choosing a good
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:03
			partner,
		
00:23:04 --> 00:23:05
			you know, that will cooperate with you in
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:08
			giving terbia to your kids. If this is
		
00:23:08 --> 00:23:10
			not being done, trust me, you will not
		
00:23:10 --> 00:23:13
			be able to make a a success in
		
00:23:13 --> 00:23:13
			this regard.
		
00:23:14 --> 00:23:16
			And that's the attitude
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:18
			and the behavior of the prophets of Allah
		
00:23:18 --> 00:23:21
			subhanahu wa ta'ala and also
		
00:23:21 --> 00:23:24
			the attitude and the behaviour of the righteous
		
00:23:24 --> 00:23:26
			people after the prophets of Allah subhanahu wa
		
00:23:26 --> 00:23:27
			ta'ala.
		
00:23:28 --> 00:23:30
			Ibrahim alayhis salam, the one that I quoted
		
00:23:30 --> 00:23:33
			his example last last time, look at the
		
00:23:33 --> 00:23:35
			family of Ibrahim alayhis salam, subhanAllah
		
00:23:36 --> 00:23:38
			You are a very, very, very excellent and
		
00:23:38 --> 00:23:41
			dedicated family. You can understand why
		
00:23:42 --> 00:23:44
			Ismael, Is Haq, and those great great great
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:48
			great prophets of Allah like that. Because they
		
00:23:48 --> 00:23:49
			live in the house
		
00:23:49 --> 00:23:52
			that has been prepared by by the father.
		
00:23:52 --> 00:23:55
			This man, his life is all about Tawhid.
		
00:23:55 --> 00:23:56
			Tawhid. Tawhid.
		
00:23:56 --> 00:24:00
			He understand what Tawhid means. He understand the
		
00:24:00 --> 00:24:01
			benefit of Tawhid.
		
00:24:01 --> 00:24:04
			He believes that Tahit is the only way
		
00:24:04 --> 00:24:06
			to to success.
		
00:24:06 --> 00:24:08
			There is no way for humankind to succeed
		
00:24:08 --> 00:24:09
			except
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:11
			and through Tahit.
		
00:24:11 --> 00:24:12
			That's why Allah
		
00:24:13 --> 00:24:14
			mentioned him so many
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:17
			times when Allah talks about Tahit and Akida,
		
00:24:17 --> 00:24:18
			Ibrahim will be mentioned.
		
00:24:19 --> 00:24:21
			He shows no compromise on this. So the
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:23
			house is based on this. And he chose
		
00:24:23 --> 00:24:26
			the good people also to cooperate with him
		
00:24:26 --> 00:24:26
			in this regard.
		
00:24:27 --> 00:24:29
			His wife Sarah,
		
00:24:29 --> 00:24:30
			subhanAllah,
		
00:24:30 --> 00:24:32
			he took her to a place and she
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:34
			agreed to go with him. Ibrahim technically lived
		
00:24:34 --> 00:24:36
			alone. You know that?
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:37
			Ibrahim was living alone,
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:40
			except a few with the family who are
		
00:24:40 --> 00:24:41
			not good.
		
00:24:42 --> 00:24:43
			You know, last year is for Amal Elahulot.
		
00:24:43 --> 00:24:46
			His father is a Kafir, grandfather Kafir, you
		
00:24:46 --> 00:24:47
			know. The whole city,
		
00:24:48 --> 00:24:48
			you know, Okufar.
		
00:24:50 --> 00:24:50
			You know?
		
00:24:51 --> 00:24:53
			And he had to leave that place,
		
00:24:54 --> 00:24:57
			You know, go to another place. So he
		
00:24:57 --> 00:24:59
			reached a city also where there was no
		
00:24:59 --> 00:25:01
			Muslim. He told his wife, he said he
		
00:25:01 --> 00:25:03
			should know that there is no Muslim in
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:05
			this place except me and you. And so,
		
00:25:05 --> 00:25:07
			Allah, if if if let's say there was
		
00:25:07 --> 00:25:08
			no Muslim,
		
00:25:08 --> 00:25:11
			but the community is a bit accepting, you
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:12
			know, somebody else,
		
00:25:13 --> 00:25:13
			somebody else's,
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:16
			values. You know? You can,
		
00:25:17 --> 00:25:17
			you know,
		
00:25:18 --> 00:25:19
			tolerate living in that community,
		
00:25:20 --> 00:25:21
			but they're not.
		
00:25:22 --> 00:25:24
			You have to be forced to live according
		
00:25:24 --> 00:25:26
			to their terms. That's why when he lived
		
00:25:26 --> 00:25:28
			the place, he had information about who the
		
00:25:28 --> 00:25:30
			king of this place was. So he told
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:32
			his wife, we really need to be very
		
00:25:32 --> 00:25:34
			careful because there is no Muslim in this
		
00:25:34 --> 00:25:36
			place except me and you.
		
00:25:37 --> 00:25:39
			SubhanAllah. And that king was
		
00:25:40 --> 00:25:42
			wicked, you know. So he sent to Ibrahim
		
00:25:42 --> 00:25:44
			looking for his his wife,
		
00:25:44 --> 00:25:45
			Subhanallah.
		
00:25:46 --> 00:25:47
			So Ibrahim,
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:48
			did send.
		
00:25:49 --> 00:25:51
			You can see his, wife is Morabia,
		
00:25:51 --> 00:25:53
			somebody who believes in Allah's mother. She knows
		
00:25:53 --> 00:25:56
			that only Allah's mother can protect her. She
		
00:25:56 --> 00:25:59
			did not ask anybody else's support except Allah's
		
00:25:59 --> 00:25:59
			support,
		
00:26:00 --> 00:26:01
			and Allah supported her.
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:05
			That man couldn't be able to touch
		
00:26:06 --> 00:26:06
			her. Why?
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:09
			Because of Akida. Allah, high minded presence, it
		
00:26:09 --> 00:26:11
			was because of Akida.
		
00:26:11 --> 00:26:13
			Because she went back to Allah's mouth immediately
		
00:26:13 --> 00:26:14
			and said, you Allah,
		
00:26:15 --> 00:26:16
			never committed zina in my life.
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:21
			Never destroy my honor. You know? Never use,
		
00:26:21 --> 00:26:23
			this part of my body except with my
		
00:26:23 --> 00:26:26
			husband. You Allah, do not give chance to
		
00:26:26 --> 00:26:28
			this person. And that was enough.
		
00:26:28 --> 00:26:31
			Allah protected him. A man was not able
		
00:26:31 --> 00:26:31
			to touch.
		
00:26:32 --> 00:26:33
			He tried, tried, tried. At the end of
		
00:26:33 --> 00:26:35
			the day, he concluded that this is Shaitan.
		
00:26:36 --> 00:26:38
			So he took her back to Ibrahim Alaihi
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:40
			Salam and he gave her a gift of
		
00:26:40 --> 00:26:41
			Hajar.
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:44
			That's the beginning of the history of Rasulullah
		
00:26:44 --> 00:26:46
			Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Salam will come into this
		
00:26:46 --> 00:26:47
			life.
		
00:26:48 --> 00:26:49
			And Subhan Allah, Ibrahim
		
00:26:49 --> 00:26:52
			trained Hajar because Hajar was given to Ibrahim
		
00:26:52 --> 00:26:54
			Alai Salam by his wife. Looking at the
		
00:26:54 --> 00:26:56
			fact that they lived without having a child,
		
00:26:56 --> 00:26:59
			you take this one. Maybe Allah's going to
		
00:26:59 --> 00:27:00
			grant you a child.
		
00:27:01 --> 00:27:03
			But then, you know, human nature.
		
00:27:04 --> 00:27:05
			Hajar got a child.
		
00:27:06 --> 00:27:07
			She couldn't,
		
00:27:08 --> 00:27:09
			stand that.
		
00:27:10 --> 00:27:12
			Not because of hazard, but jealousy is so
		
00:27:12 --> 00:27:14
			strong. So Hajar has to be running away
		
00:27:14 --> 00:27:15
			from her. Allah
		
00:27:16 --> 00:27:19
			commanded Ibrahim alayhis salam to take Hajar to
		
00:27:19 --> 00:27:19
			another place.
		
00:27:20 --> 00:27:22
			The fact that Hajar will accept also
		
00:27:23 --> 00:27:24
			to go to that place where there is
		
00:27:24 --> 00:27:25
			nobody
		
00:27:26 --> 00:27:28
			is enough to tell you that, yes, Ibrahim
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:30
			invested a lot in his family.
		
00:27:31 --> 00:27:33
			You allah. How can you convince her to
		
00:27:33 --> 00:27:34
			go and stay in the forest alone? Just
		
00:27:34 --> 00:27:36
			tell her stay and then she stayed.
		
00:27:37 --> 00:27:38
			You allah, she did
		
00:27:39 --> 00:27:41
			stay in that place alone. She knows that
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:43
			Ibrahim is going to go. And he left
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:45
			her, and she accepted that.
		
00:27:45 --> 00:27:46
			You know?
		
00:27:46 --> 00:27:49
			So important and so interesting when she told
		
00:27:49 --> 00:27:51
			him, where are you going? You're leaving us
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:52
			in this place.
		
00:27:52 --> 00:27:54
			To whom? He says to Allah
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:56
			is Allah the one who asked you to
		
00:27:56 --> 00:27:58
			do that? He said yes.
		
00:27:58 --> 00:27:59
			She said,
		
00:28:00 --> 00:28:02
			She said, okay. Then if this is the
		
00:28:02 --> 00:28:03
			case, then I believe that Allah
		
00:28:04 --> 00:28:05
			will never neglect us.
		
00:28:06 --> 00:28:09
			So what does that tell you? It tells
		
00:28:09 --> 00:28:11
			you that Ibrahim invested a lot in preparing
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:15
			a base for the terbiyah of his children.
		
00:28:16 --> 00:28:17
			This type of woman, why would you worry,
		
00:28:17 --> 00:28:20
			you know, to, to travel and leave your
		
00:28:20 --> 00:28:22
			kids next to her? You will love. Why
		
00:28:22 --> 00:28:22
			would you worry?
		
00:28:23 --> 00:28:24
			You will never worry.
		
00:28:24 --> 00:28:26
			You would never worry if you are to
		
00:28:26 --> 00:28:27
			die now. You don't worry.
		
00:28:30 --> 00:28:31
			And I don't talk about the father because
		
00:28:31 --> 00:28:33
			you know who is the father. Right? Why
		
00:28:33 --> 00:28:35
			would the wife worry if Ibrahim is is
		
00:28:35 --> 00:28:38
			the father or somebody who is imitating Ibrahim
		
00:28:38 --> 00:28:39
			is the father of her children?
		
00:28:41 --> 00:28:43
			So he invested a lot. It's a very
		
00:28:43 --> 00:28:45
			long and interesting story that I advise
		
00:28:45 --> 00:28:47
			each one of you to go to Sahil
		
00:28:47 --> 00:28:47
			Bukhari
		
00:28:48 --> 00:28:49
			and read this,
		
00:28:50 --> 00:28:52
			long version of the narration of the story
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:52
			of Ibrahim
		
00:28:53 --> 00:28:56
			and Umu Ishmael. So they live in that
		
00:28:56 --> 00:28:57
			place, and she was the one who was
		
00:28:57 --> 00:29:00
			taking care of his kid upon the Arcada
		
00:29:00 --> 00:29:03
			and Good Tarabia and she produced that person
		
00:29:03 --> 00:29:05
			who happened to be the prophet of Allah
		
00:29:05 --> 00:29:06
			Subhanahu wa ta'ala. When Ibrahim
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:09
			visited them one day and he asked his
		
00:29:09 --> 00:29:11
			wife, the wife of Ismael,
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:14
			that's after the death of the mother Omu,
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:17
			Ismael Haja. So when Ibrahim visited the place,
		
00:29:17 --> 00:29:19
			he asked her about
		
00:29:19 --> 00:29:21
			their their life.
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:22
			She complained.
		
00:29:23 --> 00:29:26
			So when she complained to Ibrahim that they
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:27
			are facing difficulty and hardship,
		
00:29:28 --> 00:29:29
			Ibrahim alaihis salam
		
00:29:30 --> 00:29:32
			realized that this is not good
		
00:29:33 --> 00:29:34
			for his son,
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:35
			you know, subhanallah.
		
00:29:36 --> 00:29:39
			What matters with those people is tabia,
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:41
			relationship with Allah.
		
00:29:42 --> 00:29:42
			Patience,
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:46
			saber, somebody that can, you know, do the
		
00:29:46 --> 00:29:47
			job in
		
00:29:48 --> 00:29:49
			taking care of kids.
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:52
			Because imagine somebody who is like this, not
		
00:29:52 --> 00:29:54
			appreciating what a last motto is doing. Not
		
00:29:54 --> 00:29:56
			seeing that a lot has a favor upon
		
00:29:56 --> 00:29:59
			them, not being patient. What kind of children
		
00:29:59 --> 00:30:01
			are they going to be, producing in in
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:01
			the future?
		
00:30:02 --> 00:30:03
			Do you get what I'm saying? Right? I
		
00:30:03 --> 00:30:04
			don't want you to I want you to
		
00:30:04 --> 00:30:05
			understand
		
00:30:05 --> 00:30:06
			why Ibrahim
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:09
			told his son, Ismail, to divorce this woman.
		
00:30:10 --> 00:30:12
			Yeah. Because she doesn't fit to take care
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:14
			of of his kid,
		
00:30:14 --> 00:30:17
			you allah. She is not qualified to be
		
00:30:17 --> 00:30:18
			the wife of Ibrahim alaihi sallam who will
		
00:30:18 --> 00:30:20
			be giving terbiyah to
		
00:30:20 --> 00:30:21
			the next generation.
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:23
			Yeah? Because Allah promised
		
00:30:23 --> 00:30:26
			him also that he's gonna bring out of
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:27
			his descendants
		
00:30:27 --> 00:30:29
			somebody who will who will take over.
		
00:30:30 --> 00:30:31
			So
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:33
			Ibrahim asked him to divorce her and to
		
00:30:33 --> 00:30:37
			get another one. Ibrahim Ismail divorced her immediately.
		
00:30:37 --> 00:30:40
			Yeah. He divorced her immediately, and,
		
00:30:41 --> 00:30:43
			he managed another one. That one was totally
		
00:30:43 --> 00:30:45
			different from the first one.
		
00:30:45 --> 00:30:47
			Then Ibrahim, when he came, he asked him
		
00:30:47 --> 00:30:49
			to keep this one because this one is
		
00:30:49 --> 00:30:50
			the one that fit him.
		
00:30:50 --> 00:30:52
			Yeah, the one that fit him, understand how
		
00:30:52 --> 00:30:55
			much Allah is doing for them because Ibrahim
		
00:30:55 --> 00:30:57
			left them with no food,
		
00:30:57 --> 00:31:00
			Hajar and Hassan Ismael, they were living on
		
00:31:00 --> 00:31:04
			what? Zamza water and Tamru. The Tamru finish,
		
00:31:04 --> 00:31:06
			they just live with Zamza and that's it.
		
00:31:07 --> 00:31:10
			And this woman, she's getting even meat, she's
		
00:31:10 --> 00:31:10
			getting
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:13
			what do you call? Uh-uh,
		
00:31:13 --> 00:31:16
			damsel, you know. What else she's getting but
		
00:31:16 --> 00:31:18
			still she's not thankful to Allah
		
00:31:19 --> 00:31:22
			That means dunya is in her brain. So
		
00:31:22 --> 00:31:25
			she doesn't fit to live with
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:28
			a prophet of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
		
00:31:28 --> 00:31:30
			So as I said this is also the
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:32
			behaviour of the righteous princesses.
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:35
			All of his wives and his families are
		
00:31:35 --> 00:31:36
			upon this nature.
		
00:31:36 --> 00:31:39
			And the companions of the prophet are
		
00:31:39 --> 00:31:42
			also are are like that. And the Tavion,
		
00:31:42 --> 00:31:44
			all of those righteous people, trust me my
		
00:31:44 --> 00:31:46
			dear brothers and sisters, they were like that.
		
00:31:46 --> 00:31:47
			They prepared a base,
		
00:31:48 --> 00:31:50
			you know, in the best way so that
		
00:31:50 --> 00:31:51
			they don't need to worry about who is
		
00:31:51 --> 00:31:54
			giving terbia to their to their kids.
		
00:31:54 --> 00:31:56
			They don't need to worry about who is
		
00:31:56 --> 00:31:57
			giving terbia to their kids.
		
00:31:58 --> 00:31:58
			Umu Musulayim,
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:00
			the mother of Anas ibn Malik.
		
00:32:01 --> 00:32:02
			You
		
00:32:02 --> 00:32:03
			know her story. Right?
		
00:32:04 --> 00:32:04
			Her husband
		
00:32:05 --> 00:32:06
			died.
		
00:32:06 --> 00:32:08
			He refused to accept Islam when the prophetess
		
00:32:08 --> 00:32:10
			of Allah came, unfortunately.
		
00:32:10 --> 00:32:13
			But she refused to follow him, Pisham.
		
00:32:13 --> 00:32:15
			He accepts to be,
		
00:32:15 --> 00:32:17
			on the other side.
		
00:32:17 --> 00:32:19
			So she refused to follow him.
		
00:32:19 --> 00:32:22
			She maintained her religion. So you can understand
		
00:32:22 --> 00:32:24
			what kind of, you know, person you are
		
00:32:24 --> 00:32:25
			dealing with. Abutalha
		
00:32:26 --> 00:32:28
			proposed to marry her. And she looked into
		
00:32:28 --> 00:32:31
			the behavior as far as behaviors and manners
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:33
			are concerned, this person qualifies to be her
		
00:32:33 --> 00:32:34
			partner.
		
00:32:35 --> 00:32:36
			However,
		
00:32:36 --> 00:32:39
			the main obstacle he has is the fact
		
00:32:39 --> 00:32:41
			that he is not a Muslim.
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:44
			So she told him, a person like you
		
00:32:44 --> 00:32:46
			cannot be rejected. You're upon the best of
		
00:32:46 --> 00:32:46
			manners.
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:49
			However, you are not a Muslim and I
		
00:32:50 --> 00:32:52
			I, as a Muslim, I cannot marry a
		
00:32:52 --> 00:32:54
			non Muslim. Because in Islam,
		
00:32:54 --> 00:32:56
			a sister cannot marry a non Muslim.
		
00:32:58 --> 00:32:59
			A brother in a very restricted,
		
00:32:59 --> 00:33:00
			way Allah
		
00:33:01 --> 00:33:02
			legalizes for whom to marry from
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:05
			the Jews and the Christian only if they
		
00:33:05 --> 00:33:07
			are decent in terms of manners
		
00:33:07 --> 00:33:09
			and attitude, meaning not the one that is
		
00:33:09 --> 00:33:11
			hanging around with the brothers
		
00:33:11 --> 00:33:14
			and, also committing zenah or prostitution.
		
00:33:15 --> 00:33:17
			A brother can go for this. If he
		
00:33:17 --> 00:33:20
			wants to go for this, which many scholars
		
00:33:20 --> 00:33:21
			looking at the circumstances
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:24
			nowadays and the situation nowadays, they say it
		
00:33:24 --> 00:33:25
			is harmful for you to call this. Not
		
00:33:25 --> 00:33:28
			in the sense of contradicting what Allah says
		
00:33:28 --> 00:33:30
			no. They are just looking at
		
00:33:30 --> 00:33:33
			what is going on when a person marry
		
00:33:33 --> 00:33:33
			a non Muslim.
		
00:33:34 --> 00:33:36
			We have so many people who are married
		
00:33:36 --> 00:33:37
			from the non,
		
00:33:37 --> 00:33:39
			believers, the Jews or the Christians, and they
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:40
			lost their children.
		
00:33:42 --> 00:33:44
			You're like, it's not easy, you know. Now
		
00:33:44 --> 00:33:46
			a person can say, oh, no problem. Insha'Allah,
		
00:33:46 --> 00:33:48
			Allah can protect them. But in the future,
		
00:33:48 --> 00:33:49
			you will never forgive yourself.
		
00:33:50 --> 00:33:53
			You see your children, you are saying Allahuwahhid,
		
00:33:53 --> 00:33:54
			they are saying Allahuwahhid, they
		
00:33:55 --> 00:33:58
			are saying Allahuwahhid, they are saying Rasayu Abilullah.
		
00:33:59 --> 00:34:02
			Or they're worshipping idols in your house. You
		
00:34:02 --> 00:34:04
			see them going to churches, synagogues, or somewhere
		
00:34:04 --> 00:34:06
			else and you can't do nothing. Because sometimes
		
00:34:06 --> 00:34:07
			the
		
00:34:07 --> 00:34:11
			the the community is protecting her right. This
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:13
			is Christian country, for instance. You can't do
		
00:34:13 --> 00:34:13
			anything.
		
00:34:14 --> 00:34:17
			So many scholars look at these consequences
		
00:34:17 --> 00:34:19
			and what is going on. They ban this
		
00:34:19 --> 00:34:20
			type of marriages.
		
00:34:20 --> 00:34:23
			And also, it's my personal sin, it's how
		
00:34:23 --> 00:34:25
			I see it, it's an insult to our
		
00:34:25 --> 00:34:26
			sisters.
		
00:34:28 --> 00:34:31
			There is no Muslim sister that qualifies your
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:32
			your requirement,
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:35
			and you go and get from other than
		
00:34:35 --> 00:34:36
			the Muslims.
		
00:34:36 --> 00:34:38
			And also what kind of love you have
		
00:34:38 --> 00:34:39
			to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:42
			What kind of love you have to Allah
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:43
			If in your house, you are there saying
		
00:34:43 --> 00:34:46
			Allahuwahhid and she's worshiping idols in front of
		
00:34:46 --> 00:34:48
			your eyes, in your territory. The house that
		
00:34:48 --> 00:34:50
			you bought or you rent, you're paying for
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:52
			this shimp to take place in your territory,
		
00:34:54 --> 00:34:55
			and you can't do nothing.
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:57
			Therefore,
		
00:34:57 --> 00:34:59
			we have to think wisely. So,
		
00:34:59 --> 00:35:01
			she told him you are not a Muslim.
		
00:35:02 --> 00:35:04
			You know, you are upon a good manner
		
00:35:04 --> 00:35:06
			and it's not good for a person to
		
00:35:06 --> 00:35:08
			reject somebody like you. However,
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:09
			I have restriction,
		
00:35:10 --> 00:35:12
			you know, being labeled on me by the
		
00:35:12 --> 00:35:14
			religion I adopted.
		
00:35:14 --> 00:35:17
			Embrace this religion, and I'm very serious and
		
00:35:17 --> 00:35:19
			dedicated in my religion. The religion says this,
		
00:35:19 --> 00:35:20
			I'm going to follow.
		
00:35:21 --> 00:35:23
			You know, this woman, she's teaching who? She's
		
00:35:23 --> 00:35:24
			teaching us.
		
00:35:26 --> 00:35:28
			We do have people in this life who
		
00:35:28 --> 00:35:29
			are Muslims
		
00:35:29 --> 00:35:30
			by names.
		
00:35:32 --> 00:35:34
			You can see a sister marrying a coffin.
		
00:35:35 --> 00:35:36
			Yeah. If you don't know,
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:38
			I'll let you know now. We have.
		
00:35:39 --> 00:35:42
			And that shows that the level of, you
		
00:35:42 --> 00:35:44
			know, her, you know, acceptance of the religion
		
00:35:44 --> 00:35:46
			of Allah is very weak.
		
00:35:46 --> 00:35:49
			That marriage is dinner marriage. She's committing dinner.
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:52
			But many of them living in the western
		
00:35:52 --> 00:35:53
			community,
		
00:35:53 --> 00:35:55
			they think that is fine to merge with
		
00:35:55 --> 00:35:57
			those cultural practices.
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:00
			No. A Muslim is not supposed to lose
		
00:36:00 --> 00:36:02
			his identity because he wants to save his
		
00:36:02 --> 00:36:03
			stay
		
00:36:03 --> 00:36:05
			in the non Muslim countries.
		
00:36:05 --> 00:36:08
			That's why the moment you start compromising any
		
00:36:08 --> 00:36:09
			of your identity,
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:11
			it is wajib upon you to make
		
00:36:12 --> 00:36:12
			hijrah.
		
00:36:13 --> 00:36:14
			You have to.
		
00:36:14 --> 00:36:16
			Hijrah is wajib upon that person. The moment
		
00:36:16 --> 00:36:18
			you start compromising, you have to make hijrah.
		
00:36:19 --> 00:36:21
			So those sisters who couldn't find a Muslim
		
00:36:22 --> 00:36:24
			brother to marry them, they must make Hijra
		
00:36:24 --> 00:36:25
			too,
		
00:36:25 --> 00:36:26
			to the Muslim
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:27
			countries.
		
00:36:28 --> 00:36:30
			Those who cannot wear the hijab, they have
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:32
			to make hijra to the Muslim countries to
		
00:36:32 --> 00:36:35
			preserve their religion. Wallahi, they have no excuse.
		
00:36:35 --> 00:36:38
			No excuse unless if that Hijrah cannot be,
		
00:36:38 --> 00:36:39
			you know, afforded,
		
00:36:40 --> 00:36:41
			then this is something else.
		
00:36:42 --> 00:36:43
			Yeah. We look into their case as a
		
00:36:43 --> 00:36:46
			darura, that's why they are stay staying here.
		
00:36:46 --> 00:36:48
			But for the marriage, there is always a
		
00:36:48 --> 00:36:51
			way out. If she married a calf here,
		
00:36:51 --> 00:36:53
			she's committing, committing zenal. So back to a
		
00:36:53 --> 00:36:53
			Muslim.
		
00:36:54 --> 00:36:56
			Umusolem is teaching us dedication, right? When you
		
00:36:56 --> 00:36:57
			hold upon Allah,
		
00:36:58 --> 00:37:00
			keep it. Don't compromise any part of your
		
00:37:00 --> 00:37:03
			religion because of your personal interest.
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:05
			Yeah. There's a message to people nowadays because
		
00:37:06 --> 00:37:08
			many instances, trust me my dear brothers and
		
00:37:08 --> 00:37:11
			sisters, we favor our personal interests
		
00:37:12 --> 00:37:13
			Rather than going with that which I lost
		
00:37:13 --> 00:37:14
			my daughter once.
		
00:37:14 --> 00:37:16
			And we take sugar, a lot of sugar
		
00:37:16 --> 00:37:18
			in your in our life. Rather than being
		
00:37:18 --> 00:37:20
			on the safe side, no, we take a
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:22
			lot of sugar. As long as there is
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:24
			somebody who said this, it's okay. Yeah. This
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:26
			is your opinion. This is how you see
		
00:37:26 --> 00:37:28
			it. You know? This is, what they say.
		
00:37:28 --> 00:37:30
			But there is another opinion. Subhan Allah.
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:33
			A Muslim is known to be somebody who
		
00:37:33 --> 00:37:36
			is always asking for the safest way. Don't
		
00:37:36 --> 00:37:38
			forget my dear brothers and sisters, you are
		
00:37:38 --> 00:37:39
			dealing with who? Not Ibrahim,
		
00:37:40 --> 00:37:43
			not Hazek, not Hassan, not Kareem, not Bashir,
		
00:37:43 --> 00:37:44
			you are dealing with Rambul Al Amin. You're
		
00:37:44 --> 00:37:45
			dealing with Rambul Al Amin.
		
00:37:47 --> 00:37:49
			Shouldn't play a game with your relationship with
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:51
			Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, ew Allah. It's a
		
00:37:51 --> 00:37:53
			very serious matter. Be on the safe side.
		
00:37:54 --> 00:37:56
			When you have controversy among the scholars, check
		
00:37:56 --> 00:37:58
			and see which one is the safer opinion.
		
00:37:59 --> 00:38:00
			Go with that.
		
00:38:00 --> 00:38:02
			Go with that. The prophet said,
		
00:38:06 --> 00:38:07
			when it comes to
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:10
			the said stay away from the Shuba. Nowadays
		
00:38:10 --> 00:38:12
			we are looking for the for the we
		
00:38:12 --> 00:38:13
			are looking for
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:14
			Shubhat. Rasulullah
		
00:38:14 --> 00:38:16
			said he want to protect your religion and
		
00:38:16 --> 00:38:18
			your honor and dignity, stay away from the
		
00:38:18 --> 00:38:19
			Shubaha
		
00:38:19 --> 00:38:20
			and doubtful
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:23
			matters. So Olmusulaim told him,
		
00:38:23 --> 00:38:24
			you cannot be,
		
00:38:25 --> 00:38:27
			a person like you cannot be rejected. However,
		
00:38:28 --> 00:38:28
			I promise,
		
00:38:30 --> 00:38:32
			I'm sorry. She said, however, I'm a Muslim.
		
00:38:32 --> 00:38:34
			I cannot marry a a Kafir.
		
00:38:35 --> 00:38:38
			So he asked her because he's he's really
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:40
			interested in the marriage. He asked her, so
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:43
			what to do? She said, go and accept
		
00:38:43 --> 00:38:45
			Islam. It's as simple as this. And I
		
00:38:45 --> 00:38:46
			don't want Mahal.
		
00:38:48 --> 00:38:50
			You get it? Nowadays, Mahal is number 1.
		
00:38:50 --> 00:38:53
			Yes, it it has to be, you know,
		
00:38:53 --> 00:38:54
			an important, you know,
		
00:38:55 --> 00:38:56
			part of our managers,
		
00:38:56 --> 00:38:59
			but it shouldn't have, you know, the importance
		
00:38:59 --> 00:39:00
			of the religion in Manis.
		
00:39:01 --> 00:39:02
			Yeah. We focus too much on the Maharaj
		
00:39:02 --> 00:39:04
			and how much is he going to pay
		
00:39:04 --> 00:39:07
			rather than focusing on his behavior and attitude.
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:08
			And tomorrow,
		
00:39:08 --> 00:39:09
			who is going to suffer?
		
00:39:10 --> 00:39:11
			The
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:13
			the wife side. So she told him, I
		
00:39:13 --> 00:39:15
			don't need anything from you. Just go and
		
00:39:15 --> 00:39:18
			accept Islam from Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Salam.
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:20
			Your Islam is my Mahar.
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:21
			Hence,
		
00:39:22 --> 00:39:23
			and that's what
		
00:39:23 --> 00:39:26
			what happened. So they were blessed by a
		
00:39:26 --> 00:39:26
			child.
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:29
			And Abu Talha loved this child. And Abu
		
00:39:29 --> 00:39:32
			Talha went to the prophet and accepted Islam.
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:33
			And the companions were so happy to hear
		
00:39:33 --> 00:39:36
			that Mahar is Islam is the Mahar. They
		
00:39:36 --> 00:39:38
			used to see this Mahar as the best
		
00:39:38 --> 00:39:39
			Mahar in Islam.
		
00:39:40 --> 00:39:42
			What was the Mahar? Islam.
		
00:39:42 --> 00:39:44
			You know? So they married.
		
00:39:45 --> 00:39:46
			They had a child, Alhamdulillah.
		
00:39:48 --> 00:39:50
			This child became sick,
		
00:39:50 --> 00:39:53
			and Abu Talha really loved this baby so
		
00:39:53 --> 00:39:55
			much. So the wife realized that
		
00:39:56 --> 00:39:57
			it's really too much for this person to
		
00:39:57 --> 00:39:58
			hear the news of,
		
00:39:59 --> 00:39:59
			his,
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:00
			child
		
00:40:01 --> 00:40:01
			dying.
		
00:40:02 --> 00:40:04
			The news of the demise of his child.
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:06
			It will not be easy for him. Subhanallah.
		
00:40:06 --> 00:40:08
			I want you to understand what kind of
		
00:40:08 --> 00:40:10
			wife is was he living with? Smart person.
		
00:40:10 --> 00:40:12
			Religious and very smart person.
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:15
			The child died while Abu Talha was not
		
00:40:15 --> 00:40:16
			around.
		
00:40:17 --> 00:40:18
			So now what to do? How to inform
		
00:40:18 --> 00:40:19
			your mother is an issue?
		
00:40:20 --> 00:40:23
			So she prepared the child. She washed him.
		
00:40:23 --> 00:40:24
			She put him in a place. She let
		
00:40:24 --> 00:40:26
			the child rest in that place.
		
00:40:27 --> 00:40:30
			That's a dead person. When the husband came,
		
00:40:30 --> 00:40:32
			she brought him his food. He was so
		
00:40:32 --> 00:40:34
			happy. He asked, how about my son?
		
00:40:34 --> 00:40:37
			She said, he never got rest like like
		
00:40:37 --> 00:40:38
			today.
		
00:40:40 --> 00:40:41
			So he was so happy, you know, that
		
00:40:41 --> 00:40:42
			his child
		
00:40:43 --> 00:40:45
			start gaining back his his health.
		
00:40:46 --> 00:40:47
			This is what he thought.
		
00:40:49 --> 00:40:50
			So she gave him the food. He enjoyed
		
00:40:50 --> 00:40:53
			his food, and then she put some perfume
		
00:40:53 --> 00:40:54
			that attract his desire,
		
00:40:55 --> 00:40:57
			and then he went and had relationship with
		
00:40:57 --> 00:40:57
			her.
		
00:40:59 --> 00:41:00
			After he finished everything,
		
00:41:01 --> 00:41:02
			she told him, my dear husband, I have
		
00:41:02 --> 00:41:03
			a question for you.
		
00:41:04 --> 00:41:04
			SubhanAllah.
		
00:41:05 --> 00:41:06
			He said, what is the question?
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:08
			She said,
		
00:41:09 --> 00:41:12
			what if a people borrow something from another
		
00:41:12 --> 00:41:12
			people?
		
00:41:13 --> 00:41:15
			When the owner of this property decided to
		
00:41:15 --> 00:41:16
			take it back,
		
00:41:17 --> 00:41:19
			is it okay for the people who borrowed
		
00:41:19 --> 00:41:22
			the item to be annoyed because the owner
		
00:41:22 --> 00:41:22
			asked,
		
00:41:23 --> 00:41:25
			for his thing to be given back to
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:25
			him?
		
00:41:26 --> 00:41:28
			The man said, no. Why would they why
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:29
			would they be angry?
		
00:41:30 --> 00:41:31
			She said,
		
00:41:32 --> 00:41:34
			and please, I'm very sorry to announce
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:36
			the return,
		
00:41:37 --> 00:41:39
			you know, of your child back to Allah
		
00:41:39 --> 00:41:40
			Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
		
00:41:40 --> 00:41:42
			Now he understands what was she trying to
		
00:41:42 --> 00:41:44
			say, you know. Because he thought this is
		
00:41:44 --> 00:41:47
			a real case, you know, that happened. Somebody
		
00:41:47 --> 00:41:49
			borrowed something and the owner says I want
		
00:41:49 --> 00:41:50
			my thing back and then the one who
		
00:41:50 --> 00:41:51
			borrowed it doesn't want to take it back.
		
00:41:51 --> 00:41:54
			But she's not referring to that. SubhanAllah. You
		
00:41:54 --> 00:41:56
			can see even the smartness, even how to
		
00:41:56 --> 00:41:57
			deduct this, to put it in this way
		
00:41:57 --> 00:41:59
			for him. Because he cannot argue.
		
00:42:00 --> 00:42:02
			He knows that the child is just a
		
00:42:02 --> 00:42:05
			manna with him from Allah to take care
		
00:42:05 --> 00:42:07
			of it. Allah has the right to take
		
00:42:07 --> 00:42:09
			back the manna at any moment he wants.
		
00:42:10 --> 00:42:12
			So he was annoyed with her.
		
00:42:13 --> 00:42:14
			Why?
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:16
			Because of the demise of the child, he
		
00:42:16 --> 00:42:18
			accepted the kadar because she did the nice
		
00:42:18 --> 00:42:21
			job in in conveying the message to him.
		
00:42:21 --> 00:42:24
			He wasn't annoyed by the child dying,
		
00:42:24 --> 00:42:26
			but he was annoyed with her.
		
00:42:27 --> 00:42:30
			Why did she, you know, let him had
		
00:42:30 --> 00:42:33
			relationship with, have relationship with her after knowing
		
00:42:33 --> 00:42:35
			that his child passed away?
		
00:42:43 --> 00:42:45
			This is what this woman did with me.
		
00:42:45 --> 00:42:47
			The prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam smiled. He found
		
00:42:47 --> 00:42:50
			it so smart, you know, a decision and
		
00:42:50 --> 00:42:52
			interesting. So the
		
00:42:52 --> 00:42:53
			prophet told him,
		
00:42:53 --> 00:42:55
			don't worry about Palha.
		
00:42:55 --> 00:42:57
			Please, if Allah
		
00:42:57 --> 00:42:59
			grant you a child
		
00:42:59 --> 00:43:02
			from that relationship you had with, with your
		
00:43:02 --> 00:43:04
			spouse, please, before you do anything, bring the
		
00:43:04 --> 00:43:05
			child to me first.
		
00:43:06 --> 00:43:08
			SubhanAllah. And that was how the case was
		
00:43:08 --> 00:43:10
			closed. So I just want you to just
		
00:43:10 --> 00:43:11
			go back and see what kind of a
		
00:43:11 --> 00:43:14
			person, you know, Musulayim was.
		
00:43:14 --> 00:43:17
			Whoever stays with that woman was staying with
		
00:43:17 --> 00:43:19
			the person who is really a responsible
		
00:43:20 --> 00:43:21
			person. That's why when the prophet
		
00:43:22 --> 00:43:24
			came, she realized that everyone is making gifts
		
00:43:24 --> 00:43:26
			to us to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
		
00:43:26 --> 00:43:27
			She think of what to do, what to
		
00:43:27 --> 00:43:30
			do. She says to herself, the best
		
00:43:30 --> 00:43:32
			is to put my son in that house.
		
00:43:32 --> 00:43:34
			You Allah. She made a very nice decision.
		
00:43:35 --> 00:43:38
			And she quickly did that before somebody else
		
00:43:38 --> 00:43:40
			goes before her. She took her son.
		
00:43:40 --> 00:43:42
			And as he was very young.
		
00:43:42 --> 00:43:43
			You know.
		
00:43:44 --> 00:43:46
			She told the prophet she said, you Rasool
		
00:43:46 --> 00:43:47
			Allah,
		
00:43:48 --> 00:43:49
			Anas ibn Malik
		
00:43:51 --> 00:43:53
			is your servant, You Rasulullah. Please let him
		
00:43:53 --> 00:43:55
			stay with you. You are here,
		
00:43:56 --> 00:43:57
			as a stranger. You don't know this place.
		
00:43:57 --> 00:43:59
			You need somebody to help you. You Rasulah,
		
00:43:59 --> 00:44:02
			this boy is here just for you, to
		
00:44:02 --> 00:44:03
			help you.
		
00:44:03 --> 00:44:06
			Yeah. Whatever you want, Anas is is there.
		
00:44:06 --> 00:44:07
			The prophet accepted
		
00:44:07 --> 00:44:08
			that. SubhanAllah.
		
00:44:09 --> 00:44:11
			Anas was blessed with this. That's why he
		
00:44:11 --> 00:44:13
			got the Talbiya Farsoul, lassalallahu alaihi wa sallam.
		
00:44:14 --> 00:44:16
			How did he get this? Because of the
		
00:44:16 --> 00:44:18
			smartness of a mother.
		
00:44:18 --> 00:44:21
			This decision led to the production of this,
		
00:44:22 --> 00:44:23
			excellent
		
00:44:23 --> 00:44:26
			person that lived a very long life and
		
00:44:26 --> 00:44:28
			benefited the Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. We're
		
00:44:28 --> 00:44:31
			gonna use some part of his story with
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:32
			the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam in in
		
00:44:32 --> 00:44:33
			the future.
		
00:44:33 --> 00:44:36
			So I guess this is more than enough
		
00:44:36 --> 00:44:37
			for all of us to open our eyes
		
00:44:37 --> 00:44:39
			to make sure that you choose somebody
		
00:44:40 --> 00:44:43
			who is ready to favor the terpia of
		
00:44:43 --> 00:44:45
			the kids rather than anything else.
		
00:44:46 --> 00:44:49
			Not a job. You marry somebody who is
		
00:44:49 --> 00:44:51
			willing to quit his job
		
00:44:51 --> 00:44:54
			for the sake of the family, who is
		
00:44:54 --> 00:44:56
			willing to quit, you know, his stay in
		
00:44:56 --> 00:44:58
			a country because of the family.
		
00:44:59 --> 00:45:00
			You will not we have some rijal like
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:03
			this. They left prosperity
		
00:45:04 --> 00:45:04
			and,
		
00:45:05 --> 00:45:05
			dunya life
		
00:45:06 --> 00:45:08
			for the sake of the children.
		
00:45:08 --> 00:45:10
			They go and live in the place and
		
00:45:10 --> 00:45:12
			they will tell you, we do this only
		
00:45:12 --> 00:45:13
			for our kids.
		
00:45:14 --> 00:45:15
			Because they have this sense of a man
		
00:45:15 --> 00:45:16
			and responsibility.
		
00:45:17 --> 00:45:18
			On the other hand, you
		
00:45:18 --> 00:45:20
			have so many of them who favor,
		
00:45:20 --> 00:45:21
			you know,
		
00:45:21 --> 00:45:24
			duniya over the life and the religion of
		
00:45:24 --> 00:45:24
			of their
		
00:45:25 --> 00:45:25
			children.
		
00:45:27 --> 00:45:29
			They have to understand that they will regret
		
00:45:29 --> 00:45:32
			in the future when they meet Allah subhanahu
		
00:45:32 --> 00:45:34
			subhanahu wa ta'ala.
		
00:45:34 --> 00:45:35
			So preparation of
		
00:45:36 --> 00:45:38
			the family and creation of the base. And
		
00:45:38 --> 00:45:40
			this base as I said
		
00:45:40 --> 00:45:42
			the other day has to be created upon
		
00:45:42 --> 00:45:43
			the and
		
00:45:44 --> 00:45:44
			I guess
		
00:45:45 --> 00:45:48
			the story of Ibrahim Alaihi Salam, the story
		
00:45:48 --> 00:45:50
			of this old Muslim,
		
00:45:50 --> 00:45:52
			you know, the story of all the prophets
		
00:45:52 --> 00:45:54
			of Allah, small more than, you know, that
		
00:45:54 --> 00:45:56
			the build of that family, you know, which
		
00:45:56 --> 00:45:59
			is responsible to take care of their children
		
00:45:59 --> 00:46:02
			upon the Akida. That's why
		
00:46:02 --> 00:46:04
			no Alai Salam, all was his was here
		
00:46:04 --> 00:46:05
			to the kids.
		
00:46:06 --> 00:46:06
			Akida.
		
00:46:07 --> 00:46:09
			You know? Gave them 4 4 things. 2
		
00:46:09 --> 00:46:11
			things to be avoided,
		
00:46:11 --> 00:46:13
			2 things to be to be done. The
		
00:46:13 --> 00:46:15
			first one is la ilaha illallah. You
		
00:46:17 --> 00:46:19
			tell your children nowadays in the
		
00:46:20 --> 00:46:22
			age of social media, my waseya to you
		
00:46:22 --> 00:46:23
			is
		
00:46:25 --> 00:46:26
			Seer is La ilaha illallah
		
00:46:27 --> 00:46:28
			and subhanallah.
		
00:46:29 --> 00:46:31
			He says I command you to say La
		
00:46:31 --> 00:46:32
			ilaha illallah
		
00:46:32 --> 00:46:34
			and also to constantly say subhanallah.
		
00:46:36 --> 00:46:38
			It's Nuh alayhi salaam giving usia to his
		
00:46:38 --> 00:46:40
			his kid. And he said
		
00:46:43 --> 00:46:43
			because
		
00:46:44 --> 00:46:44
			subhanallah
		
00:46:45 --> 00:46:46
			is a prayer of everything.
		
00:46:47 --> 00:46:48
			And because of subhanallah,
		
00:46:49 --> 00:46:52
			everything is getting its sustenance from Allah subhanahu
		
00:46:52 --> 00:46:54
			wa ta'ala. The risk you get, it is
		
00:46:54 --> 00:46:56
			given to you because of subhanallah.
		
00:46:57 --> 00:46:58
			And he asked them to stay away from
		
00:46:58 --> 00:46:59
			2 things,
		
00:46:59 --> 00:47:00
			arrogance
		
00:47:01 --> 00:47:02
			and shirk.
		
00:47:03 --> 00:47:05
			Associate and partner with Allah and arrogance.
		
00:47:06 --> 00:47:06
			The prophet described
		
00:47:07 --> 00:47:09
			arrogance. He says Al Kibru,
		
00:47:09 --> 00:47:11
			Batul Haki, or Gamtudas.
		
00:47:12 --> 00:47:13
			Stay in a rejection of the truth
		
00:47:14 --> 00:47:15
			and disrespecting
		
00:47:16 --> 00:47:17
			others. This is Kibr.
		
00:47:17 --> 00:47:18
			Allah says
		
00:47:19 --> 00:47:19
			I'm
		
00:47:27 --> 00:47:29
			you know Ibrahim also
		
00:47:30 --> 00:47:33
			the Osia His children was about the Akida.
		
00:47:34 --> 00:47:34
			So
		
00:47:35 --> 00:47:37
			that's the reason why I said the most
		
00:47:37 --> 00:47:39
			important, you know, foundation
		
00:47:40 --> 00:47:40
			you place
		
00:47:41 --> 00:47:41
			your,
		
00:47:42 --> 00:47:44
			what do you call? The the environment you
		
00:47:44 --> 00:47:47
			are creating for the kids upon should be
		
00:47:47 --> 00:47:48
			the Arcada.
		
00:47:48 --> 00:47:51
			Yeah. Should be the Arcada. If the Arcada
		
00:47:51 --> 00:47:52
			is missing, trust
		
00:47:52 --> 00:47:54
			me. Nothing else will succeed.
		
00:47:54 --> 00:47:57
			Nothing will succeed. Whatever you're gonna give them
		
00:47:57 --> 00:47:59
			in the future, trust me my dear brothers
		
00:47:59 --> 00:48:00
			and sisters, will fail.
		
00:48:01 --> 00:48:01
			Yeah.
		
00:48:01 --> 00:48:02
			So
		
00:48:03 --> 00:48:06
			another thing also to be observing when creating
		
00:48:07 --> 00:48:08
			a family, which is a base of the
		
00:48:08 --> 00:48:10
			terbia of the kids, is the sons of
		
00:48:10 --> 00:48:12
			responsibility and amana.
		
00:48:12 --> 00:48:13
			The prophet said,
		
00:48:14 --> 00:48:15
			ma min rai.
		
00:48:16 --> 00:48:18
			And this is supposed to be from both
		
00:48:18 --> 00:48:18
			side.
		
00:48:19 --> 00:48:22
			The male and the female side. He said,
		
00:48:30 --> 00:48:31
			there will be no right.
		
00:48:31 --> 00:48:32
			Who is the right?
		
00:48:33 --> 00:48:34
			Shepherds,
		
00:48:34 --> 00:48:35
			right?
		
00:48:36 --> 00:48:37
			He says, if Allah
		
00:48:38 --> 00:48:40
			asks you to be responsible,
		
00:48:40 --> 00:48:42
			you know, of a people.
		
00:48:42 --> 00:48:44
			If you let yourself to die,
		
00:48:45 --> 00:48:46
			being irresponsible,
		
00:48:46 --> 00:48:48
			cheating in that responsibility,
		
00:48:48 --> 00:48:50
			he said Jannah is going to be prohibited
		
00:48:51 --> 00:48:51
			upon you.
		
00:48:53 --> 00:48:56
			Yeah, we need to know this. Yeah, because
		
00:48:56 --> 00:48:59
			nowadays, these devices are given to our kids
		
00:48:59 --> 00:49:00
			unsupervised.
		
00:49:01 --> 00:49:01
			Yeah.
		
00:49:02 --> 00:49:02
			Unsupervised.
		
00:49:03 --> 00:49:05
			We bring the television at home.
		
00:49:06 --> 00:49:06
			Unsupervised.
		
00:49:07 --> 00:49:09
			They watch whatever they can. We give them
		
00:49:09 --> 00:49:10
			computers,
		
00:49:10 --> 00:49:12
			and sometimes in their rooms also, they have
		
00:49:12 --> 00:49:15
			their own personal computers and personal device, you
		
00:49:15 --> 00:49:15
			know,
		
00:49:16 --> 00:49:17
			unsupervised.
		
00:49:19 --> 00:49:19
			So
		
00:49:20 --> 00:49:22
			you have to understand that, yes, on the
		
00:49:22 --> 00:49:23
			day of judgement,
		
00:49:24 --> 00:49:26
			this is going to be considered as cheating
		
00:49:26 --> 00:49:28
			in the responsibility. If they use it in
		
00:49:28 --> 00:49:31
			the wrong way, you are responsible. You cannot
		
00:49:31 --> 00:49:32
			say no.
		
00:49:32 --> 00:49:34
			They are supposed to use it in the
		
00:49:34 --> 00:49:35
			correct way. No. You are the one who
		
00:49:35 --> 00:49:37
			give them and did not teach them how
		
00:49:37 --> 00:49:40
			to utilize it properly.
		
00:49:40 --> 00:49:41
			That's why
		
00:49:41 --> 00:49:43
			you have to be conservative in this regard.
		
00:49:43 --> 00:49:45
			Inshallah, we will talk about this. I know
		
00:49:45 --> 00:49:47
			it's very difficult to detach our kids from
		
00:49:47 --> 00:49:48
			this, but
		
00:49:48 --> 00:49:50
			some of these decision
		
00:49:50 --> 00:49:52
			are very bitter, but they have to be
		
00:49:52 --> 00:49:52
			made.
		
00:49:53 --> 00:49:55
			And there is always alternative.
		
00:49:55 --> 00:49:56
			Yeah.
		
00:49:56 --> 00:49:57
			You resist,
		
00:49:57 --> 00:49:59
			you provide alternative for the kids. We need
		
00:49:59 --> 00:50:02
			this for the kids. As a matured person,
		
00:50:02 --> 00:50:03
			you don't need alternative.
		
00:50:04 --> 00:50:05
			All that you need is to know that
		
00:50:05 --> 00:50:07
			Allah swore to warn this from you.
		
00:50:08 --> 00:50:09
			That the kids because,
		
00:50:10 --> 00:50:12
			the mindset and the mentality is not grown,
		
00:50:12 --> 00:50:13
			you know, enough.
		
00:50:14 --> 00:50:18
			They need this alternative. And this alternative inshallah,
		
00:50:18 --> 00:50:21
			they are not money or something. No. That
		
00:50:21 --> 00:50:22
			is the best alternative you can give to
		
00:50:22 --> 00:50:24
			your child. And be it in light of
		
00:50:24 --> 00:50:26
			Allah. It will replace all of those things
		
00:50:26 --> 00:50:27
			that are corrupting
		
00:50:27 --> 00:50:28
			their terpia.
		
00:50:29 --> 00:50:30
			So sense of responsibility,
		
00:50:30 --> 00:50:32
			taking this as a manner
		
00:50:32 --> 00:50:35
			being placed on your shoulder. The spouse, the
		
00:50:35 --> 00:50:36
			one that is going to be living with
		
00:50:36 --> 00:50:38
			you has to have this sense of, you
		
00:50:38 --> 00:50:41
			know, feeling that Allah is going to ask
		
00:50:41 --> 00:50:42
			him about about this.
		
00:50:43 --> 00:50:44
			The prophet
		
00:50:44 --> 00:50:45
			said,
		
00:50:49 --> 00:50:50
			Every one of you is acting as a
		
00:50:50 --> 00:50:53
			shepherd, and Allah will ask him about
		
00:50:53 --> 00:50:54
			his
		
00:50:54 --> 00:50:54
			responsibility.
		
00:50:55 --> 00:50:58
			And he started with the imam. Imam here
		
00:50:58 --> 00:51:00
			is referring to the imam in the Masjid.
		
00:51:01 --> 00:51:02
			Who's he which imam?
		
00:51:03 --> 00:51:05
			The leader, the authority, the king, prime minister,
		
00:51:05 --> 00:51:07
			ministers, you know. Rasulullah
		
00:51:08 --> 00:51:09
			is referring to that one. There will be
		
00:51:09 --> 00:51:12
			a question about this responsibility when they meet
		
00:51:12 --> 00:51:13
			Allah
		
00:51:13 --> 00:51:15
			subhanahu wa ta'ala. And then he says
		
00:51:17 --> 00:51:19
			and you also you're aray. The alabatic.
		
00:51:20 --> 00:51:22
			And if you remember last time, I was
		
00:51:22 --> 00:51:25
			trying to quote from one of the speakers.
		
00:51:25 --> 00:51:26
			He says his observation
		
00:51:27 --> 00:51:28
			led him to believe
		
00:51:29 --> 00:51:32
			You know, he says he his observation led
		
00:51:32 --> 00:51:34
			him to believe that
		
00:51:34 --> 00:51:36
			the reason why the prophet
		
00:51:37 --> 00:51:41
			described a I'm sorry, a father, a leader
		
00:51:41 --> 00:51:42
			as a shepherd,
		
00:51:42 --> 00:51:44
			because a shepherd has to be vigilant.
		
00:51:46 --> 00:51:48
			And subhanallah, he was making an analysis
		
00:51:48 --> 00:51:49
			and comment
		
00:51:49 --> 00:51:52
			on the sheep, which I believe is true.
		
00:51:53 --> 00:51:55
			Because we used to have sheep back home,
		
00:51:55 --> 00:51:57
			there at home. What he says exactly is
		
00:51:57 --> 00:51:58
			the truth.
		
00:51:59 --> 00:52:00
			He says if you see
		
00:52:01 --> 00:52:03
			animals when they have food, food to eat.
		
00:52:04 --> 00:52:06
			God watch cat, you see the cat that
		
00:52:06 --> 00:52:06
			came here?
		
00:52:07 --> 00:52:08
			Give that cat
		
00:52:08 --> 00:52:09
			food,
		
00:52:09 --> 00:52:10
			a rat.
		
00:52:10 --> 00:52:12
			And bring another cat.
		
00:52:13 --> 00:52:15
			To approach that place, what happens?
		
00:52:16 --> 00:52:18
			Look at the the the the what do
		
00:52:18 --> 00:52:21
			you call? The the claws of this cat,
		
00:52:21 --> 00:52:23
			They will, it will bring them out.
		
00:52:23 --> 00:52:24
			Ready
		
00:52:24 --> 00:52:26
			for that one which is approaching.
		
00:52:27 --> 00:52:28
			Animals are like that.
		
00:52:28 --> 00:52:31
			Can you get it? Everyone has a defense
		
00:52:31 --> 00:52:33
			system to defend themselves.
		
00:52:34 --> 00:52:36
			It says my observation led me to believe
		
00:52:36 --> 00:52:37
			that the sheep
		
00:52:38 --> 00:52:39
			is the only
		
00:52:39 --> 00:52:42
			sheep is the only animal that doesn't have
		
00:52:42 --> 00:52:43
			a built in.
		
00:52:44 --> 00:52:46
			A defense system that is attached to it.
		
00:52:47 --> 00:52:49
			And then he says his observation led him
		
00:52:49 --> 00:52:52
			to believe that the sheep also has a
		
00:52:52 --> 00:52:54
			defense. Because when you see the sheep eating,
		
00:52:55 --> 00:52:56
			they don't care who is coming.
		
00:52:56 --> 00:52:58
			The The next one when it comes, he
		
00:52:58 --> 00:53:00
			just push this one to make some space
		
00:53:00 --> 00:53:02
			also. He can put its head also. All
		
00:53:02 --> 00:53:04
			of them will be eaten. Masha Allah. Very
		
00:53:04 --> 00:53:04
			peaceful
		
00:53:05 --> 00:53:06
			animal.
		
00:53:06 --> 00:53:07
			That's why the prophet
		
00:53:07 --> 00:53:08
			said if you want to
		
00:53:09 --> 00:53:09
			see calmness,
		
00:53:10 --> 00:53:11
			you should look at those who are the
		
00:53:11 --> 00:53:14
			caretakers of the sheep. Yeah, because you need
		
00:53:14 --> 00:53:17
			to be like that. For them to for
		
00:53:17 --> 00:53:18
			them to live. So where's the defense of
		
00:53:18 --> 00:53:19
			the sheep?
		
00:53:20 --> 00:53:22
			The defense of the sheep lies in the
		
00:53:22 --> 00:53:23
			shepherd itself.
		
00:53:24 --> 00:53:25
			That's where whenever you see a sheep, even
		
00:53:25 --> 00:53:27
			in the pictures and the images, you see
		
00:53:27 --> 00:53:29
			a shepherd next to next to the sheep
		
00:53:29 --> 00:53:30
			with a stick.
		
00:53:31 --> 00:53:33
			Yeah. They have a stick. They have dog.
		
00:53:33 --> 00:53:34
			Yeah. So the
		
00:53:34 --> 00:53:36
			sheep naturally knows that there is a defense.
		
00:53:36 --> 00:53:38
			Some somebody is standing for them. That's why
		
00:53:38 --> 00:53:39
			they don't care.
		
00:53:40 --> 00:53:42
			When you see negligent, look at the sheep.
		
00:53:43 --> 00:53:45
			Yeah. That's why taking care of them is
		
00:53:45 --> 00:53:46
			not easy.
		
00:53:46 --> 00:53:48
			Controlling sheep is not easy.
		
00:53:49 --> 00:53:52
			And maybe that's the reason why Allahu Alab,
		
00:54:01 --> 00:54:03
			there in the forest together with the companions
		
00:54:03 --> 00:54:05
			and they were getting from the shed one
		
00:54:05 --> 00:54:06
			of the fruit.
		
00:54:07 --> 00:54:07
			The prophet
		
00:54:08 --> 00:54:08
			told them
		
00:54:10 --> 00:54:11
			he said, get the get the black one.
		
00:54:11 --> 00:54:12
			It's it's the best.
		
00:54:13 --> 00:54:14
			They were shocked.
		
00:54:15 --> 00:54:17
			Because they they thought that the prophet
		
00:54:17 --> 00:54:19
			grew up in Makkah. You know Makkah is
		
00:54:19 --> 00:54:21
			a is a city, you know? So it's
		
00:54:21 --> 00:54:22
			just a city boy, you know? They think
		
00:54:22 --> 00:54:25
			that the prophet doesn't know anything about villages.
		
00:54:25 --> 00:54:26
			The prophet
		
00:54:27 --> 00:54:27
			told them
		
00:54:28 --> 00:54:29
			take the black one.
		
00:54:31 --> 00:54:32
			Because it's a it's a best.
		
00:54:33 --> 00:54:33
			They said
		
00:54:36 --> 00:54:38
			were you a shepherd before? Because knowing these
		
00:54:38 --> 00:54:39
			type of things
		
00:54:39 --> 00:54:41
			is only done by the shepherds.
		
00:54:42 --> 00:54:44
			So they told him Yarasula, were you a
		
00:54:44 --> 00:54:46
			shepherd before? He said, oh,
		
00:54:49 --> 00:54:51
			was there any prophet of Allah's mother who
		
00:54:51 --> 00:54:52
			was not a shepherd before?
		
00:54:53 --> 00:54:56
			So you can understand why they have to
		
00:54:56 --> 00:54:58
			go through this process because if they can
		
00:54:58 --> 00:54:59
			take care of a sheep,
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:02
			trust me, they can take care of human
		
00:55:02 --> 00:55:02
			beings.
		
00:55:03 --> 00:55:05
			Your children, your family, as a as a
		
00:55:05 --> 00:55:07
			as a husband or the father, trust me,
		
00:55:07 --> 00:55:10
			your family are none other than the sheep.
		
00:55:10 --> 00:55:11
			Not in the sense of animals. No one
		
00:55:11 --> 00:55:14
			say Ibrahim called the people sheep. No. Not
		
00:55:14 --> 00:55:15
			in the sense of being animal,
		
00:55:15 --> 00:55:17
			but in the sense of negligent
		
00:55:17 --> 00:55:20
			and believing that there is somebody who is
		
00:55:20 --> 00:55:22
			acting on our behalf, then they just do
		
00:55:22 --> 00:55:24
			whatever they want. So you need to be
		
00:55:24 --> 00:55:24
			vigilant
		
00:55:25 --> 00:55:27
			for them to be able to do the
		
00:55:27 --> 00:55:28
			right thing. They're very innocent,
		
00:55:29 --> 00:55:32
			and they just believe naturally that somebody is
		
00:55:32 --> 00:55:33
			there standing for them.
		
00:55:33 --> 00:55:35
			If you sleep, what will happen?
		
00:55:35 --> 00:55:36
			They will get destroyed.
		
00:55:39 --> 00:55:41
			Please, my dear brothers and sisters, you know,
		
00:55:41 --> 00:55:42
			many of you are married, many of you
		
00:55:42 --> 00:55:44
			did not. Please put this in your mind.
		
00:55:44 --> 00:55:46
			If you don't have this in your brain,
		
00:55:46 --> 00:55:49
			have this feeling in your brain. That your
		
00:55:49 --> 00:55:50
			family needs you to be awake
		
00:55:51 --> 00:55:52
			every single time.
		
00:55:53 --> 00:55:56
			Yeah. Smart and awake. We're going to talk
		
00:55:56 --> 00:55:59
			about this smartness later insha'Allah. Your family needs
		
00:55:59 --> 00:56:00
			you to be awake
		
00:56:01 --> 00:56:02
			because they sleep
		
00:56:03 --> 00:56:04
			believing that you are awake.
		
00:56:06 --> 00:56:07
			If you sleep,
		
00:56:08 --> 00:56:10
			after they slept, they will get lost.
		
00:56:11 --> 00:56:13
			If you sleep after they slept, because they're
		
00:56:13 --> 00:56:15
			always sleeping, if you're going to sleep, they
		
00:56:15 --> 00:56:16
			will get lost.
		
00:56:17 --> 00:56:18
			That
		
00:56:18 --> 00:56:20
			that's what is the I mean, that is
		
00:56:20 --> 00:56:22
			one of the best thing you get from
		
00:56:22 --> 00:56:23
			this hadith of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
		
00:56:23 --> 00:56:26
			sallam when he described you as a shepherd.
		
00:56:26 --> 00:56:29
			Meaning you have to be responsible and vigilant
		
00:56:30 --> 00:56:31
			every single time.
		
00:56:31 --> 00:56:33
			Yeah. To be aware of what is going
		
00:56:33 --> 00:56:34
			on in your in your house.
		
00:56:35 --> 00:56:37
			Not in the sense of putting a lot
		
00:56:37 --> 00:56:38
			of restriction to your kids in the way
		
00:56:38 --> 00:56:40
			they have no gender in the house.
		
00:56:41 --> 00:56:43
			That's another tragedy. We will address it inshallah
		
00:56:44 --> 00:56:46
			in in the future. But being vigilant doesn't
		
00:56:46 --> 00:56:48
			mean your children have no freedom.
		
00:56:49 --> 00:56:50
			No. They should have
		
00:56:51 --> 00:56:54
			more freedom than restriction. Inshallah, we will address
		
00:56:54 --> 00:56:56
			this in the future. So, sense of responsibility,
		
00:56:57 --> 00:56:58
			sense of amana.
		
00:56:58 --> 00:56:59
			And you know that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
00:56:59 --> 00:57:00
			will ask you about this amana on the
		
00:57:00 --> 00:57:02
			day of judgement. If you cheat in this
		
00:57:02 --> 00:57:04
			amana, you're gonna pay the price when you
		
00:57:04 --> 00:57:05
			meet Allah subhanahu
		
00:57:06 --> 00:57:06
			wa ta'ala.
		
00:57:08 --> 00:57:10
			And I will close this, part,
		
00:57:10 --> 00:57:11
			insha'Allah,
		
00:57:12 --> 00:57:13
			with this, statement.
		
00:57:14 --> 00:57:15
			Don't be surprised.
		
00:57:16 --> 00:57:17
			Don't be surprised
		
00:57:17 --> 00:57:18
			that a person's
		
00:57:19 --> 00:57:19
			Jannah
		
00:57:20 --> 00:57:21
			might be delayed
		
00:57:21 --> 00:57:22
			because of his
		
00:57:24 --> 00:57:25
			children. You know,
		
00:57:26 --> 00:57:28
			you Allah. This is a very serious matter.
		
00:57:28 --> 00:57:30
			No matter how much righteous you are,
		
00:57:30 --> 00:57:32
			you might be delayed. InshaAllah, it will never
		
00:57:32 --> 00:57:33
			happen
		
00:57:35 --> 00:57:35
			to you, but a person might be delayed
		
00:57:35 --> 00:57:35
			in going to Jannah
		
00:57:36 --> 00:57:37
			because of his children.
		
00:57:39 --> 00:57:41
			Yeah. This should be a very serious matter
		
00:57:41 --> 00:57:44
			with you. Allah says, koo amfisa kumalikun
		
00:57:45 --> 00:57:45
			nara.
		
00:57:46 --> 00:57:47
			Allah says, protect yourself
		
00:57:48 --> 00:57:50
			and your family from the health.
		
00:57:58 --> 00:57:59
			So what happened is
		
00:57:59 --> 00:58:01
			that I'm negligent in my responsibility.
		
00:58:02 --> 00:58:05
			I don't give my kids that they need.
		
00:58:06 --> 00:58:07
			I give them, you know, a lot of
		
00:58:07 --> 00:58:09
			freedom to do whatever they want.
		
00:58:11 --> 00:58:13
			They are so happy with the kind of
		
00:58:13 --> 00:58:16
			freedom I'm providing them. So today, who is
		
00:58:16 --> 00:58:17
			their best friend?
		
00:58:18 --> 00:58:21
			Who is their best friend? The father. Right?
		
00:58:21 --> 00:58:23
			Or the mother who's giving them this, you
		
00:58:23 --> 00:58:25
			know, unrestricted freedom?
		
00:58:26 --> 00:58:27
			However, on the day of judgement,
		
00:58:28 --> 00:58:30
			who is going to fight the father? Who
		
00:58:30 --> 00:58:32
			is the worst enemy?
		
00:58:32 --> 00:58:35
			Shaitan and that father. Trust me, they will
		
00:58:35 --> 00:58:35
			come
		
00:58:36 --> 00:58:38
			and ask Allah to take their right. Allah
		
00:58:38 --> 00:58:39
			says
		
00:58:47 --> 00:58:49
			the close friends, you know, on the day
		
00:58:49 --> 00:58:51
			of judgement, they will become
		
00:58:52 --> 00:58:53
			enemies of each other.
		
00:58:55 --> 00:58:56
			Except those people who
		
00:58:57 --> 00:58:59
			made their friendship in the dunya upon that
		
00:58:59 --> 00:59:01
			which is pleasing to Allah.
		
00:59:03 --> 00:59:05
			So this is really important for a Murabbi,
		
00:59:05 --> 00:59:07
			a father, mother,
		
00:59:07 --> 00:59:09
			whoever has given Tarbia to have this sense
		
00:59:09 --> 00:59:11
			of amana in his heart.
		
00:59:11 --> 00:59:13
			That this person is going to be my
		
00:59:13 --> 00:59:15
			cousin when I meet Allah Today, they are
		
00:59:15 --> 00:59:17
			laughing. They are so happy, you know, they
		
00:59:17 --> 00:59:19
			are telling me you are the best, Yabi,
		
00:59:19 --> 00:59:21
			Yami, you know, you are the best. But
		
00:59:21 --> 00:59:24
			don't forget, tomorrow they will not say you
		
00:59:24 --> 00:59:25
			are the best.
		
00:59:26 --> 00:59:29
			Yeah. They will treat you with that which
		
00:59:29 --> 00:59:30
			you deserve.
		
00:59:30 --> 00:59:32
			You know, and the
		
00:59:32 --> 00:59:34
			will be open between you and them. As
		
00:59:34 --> 00:59:36
			I said, that might be the reason why
		
00:59:36 --> 00:59:39
			a person might be delayed from going to
		
00:59:39 --> 00:59:40
			to Chennai.
		
00:59:40 --> 00:59:43
			So we talk about preparing a base for
		
00:59:43 --> 00:59:44
			your
		
00:59:45 --> 00:59:47
			and that base should be based on what?
		
00:59:47 --> 00:59:49
			Should be based on the Akida. Yeah. That's
		
00:59:49 --> 00:59:52
			the most important thing because if Akida is
		
00:59:52 --> 00:59:54
			being provided, insha Allah,
		
00:59:55 --> 00:59:57
			everything else you want to put in that
		
00:59:57 --> 01:00:00
			base will be possible. If is missing, you
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:02
			will never be able to succeed
		
01:00:03 --> 01:00:04
			in your Terbia
		
01:00:04 --> 01:00:05
			in the future.
		
01:00:06 --> 01:00:07
			So the next inshallah is to move to
		
01:00:07 --> 01:00:09
			the Sifat Al Murabi.
		
01:00:09 --> 01:00:10
			Al Moktas.
		
01:00:11 --> 01:00:12
			Yeah. Sifat of the Morabi.
		
01:00:13 --> 01:00:15
			What are the the qualities that the Morabi
		
01:00:15 --> 01:00:17
			should have? The Morabi that want to succeed.
		
01:00:17 --> 01:00:18
			What kind of qualities
		
01:00:18 --> 01:00:21
			he must be having. So inshallah, we'll do
		
01:00:21 --> 01:00:23
			that in the next session, we'll open the
		
01:00:23 --> 01:00:25
			session for questions if anyone of you wants
		
01:00:25 --> 01:00:26
			to ask
		
01:00:26 --> 01:00:28
			a question about what we what we did
		
01:00:28 --> 01:00:30
			and then be the light and that we
		
01:00:30 --> 01:00:31
			move forward.
		
01:00:33 --> 01:00:34
			So any question?
		
01:00:35 --> 01:00:36
			I decided to make it like this rather
		
01:00:36 --> 01:00:38
			than talking until Asar.
		
01:00:39 --> 01:00:41
			You know many many of you are going
		
01:00:41 --> 01:00:43
			to start sleeping. So, let's have a break
		
01:00:43 --> 01:00:45
			for questions. Inshallah,
		
01:00:45 --> 01:00:47
			if any and then we continue. We would
		
01:00:47 --> 01:00:48
			like to add after the questions.
		
01:01:41 --> 01:01:42
			And then 2 of them was
		
01:01:43 --> 01:01:44
			and subhanallah.
		
01:01:44 --> 01:01:47
			Yeah. So my question is, how do we
		
01:01:47 --> 01:01:47
			teach?
		
01:01:49 --> 01:01:50
			K. This one
		
01:01:50 --> 01:01:51
			will come.
		
01:01:52 --> 01:01:55
			When I talk about instead in you know,
		
01:01:55 --> 01:01:57
			Akida in the heart of the kids, we
		
01:01:58 --> 01:01:59
			will talk about this.
		
01:01:59 --> 01:02:02
			Because at any stage, you're going to be
		
01:02:02 --> 01:02:04
			teaching your kids what they need at that
		
01:02:04 --> 01:02:04
			stage.
		
01:02:05 --> 01:02:07
			And I'm going to the heavy explanation of
		
01:02:07 --> 01:02:09
			Tohid with my 1 year old child.
		
01:02:10 --> 01:02:12
			Yeah? But I start with simple ones.
		
01:02:12 --> 01:02:14
			Oh, create you to introduce the creator to
		
01:02:14 --> 01:02:16
			him. He already have has all of
		
01:02:17 --> 01:02:19
			these things. So I'm just trying to make
		
01:02:19 --> 01:02:22
			a lie that fitra that exists in him
		
01:02:22 --> 01:02:24
			since last month, they are creating. So I
		
01:02:24 --> 01:02:25
			start with the,
		
01:02:26 --> 01:02:28
			simple matters that are within his understanding.
		
01:02:29 --> 01:02:31
			And go according to his age, build up
		
01:02:31 --> 01:02:32
			this, tohid.
		
01:02:33 --> 01:02:34
			Yeah, so I start with the first one.
		
01:02:34 --> 01:02:36
			Who created you, you know, teach him over
		
01:02:36 --> 01:02:39
			the creator, the creator. Let him understand the
		
01:02:39 --> 01:02:41
			fact that whatever he sees in this dunya
		
01:02:41 --> 01:02:42
			of good, the source of this good is
		
01:02:42 --> 01:02:45
			Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. Keep the evil
		
01:02:45 --> 01:02:48
			part aside. Teach him about Shaitan and the
		
01:02:48 --> 01:02:51
			devil and how much Shaitan hate us. You
		
01:02:51 --> 01:02:54
			know, that simple information about the shaitan. Don't
		
01:02:54 --> 01:02:56
			go deeper and deeper. The understanding and the
		
01:02:56 --> 01:02:58
			memory cannot go cannot get that. So So
		
01:02:58 --> 01:03:01
			teach him about Allah and his blessings, and
		
01:03:01 --> 01:03:02
			there we go. As I said, according to
		
01:03:02 --> 01:03:04
			his age, you teach him the until
		
01:03:05 --> 01:03:07
			he grows and take over by himself. So
		
01:03:07 --> 01:03:09
			this will be addressed by
		
01:03:09 --> 01:03:10
			either in in the future.
		
01:03:17 --> 01:03:17
			Yes,
		
01:03:18 --> 01:03:18
			chief.
		
01:03:25 --> 01:03:27
			My question is in your opening statement, you
		
01:03:27 --> 01:03:27
			talked about,
		
01:03:31 --> 01:03:33
			marrying, Aisha at the age of 6. I
		
01:03:33 --> 01:03:36
			know. My question is, due to the level
		
01:03:36 --> 01:03:38
			of maturity that we find in, the kids
		
01:03:38 --> 01:03:41
			nowadays, is that, door still, open
		
01:03:42 --> 01:03:44
			for the Muslim nowadays?
		
01:03:45 --> 01:03:46
			Because in Islam,
		
01:03:47 --> 01:03:48
			the age of
		
01:03:48 --> 01:03:48
			marriage
		
01:03:49 --> 01:03:50
			for the sisters is
		
01:03:51 --> 01:03:53
			actually for the brothers, for both brothers and
		
01:03:53 --> 01:03:54
			sisters,
		
01:03:54 --> 01:03:55
			reaching the age of maturity.
		
01:03:58 --> 01:03:59
			A sister can reach the age of maturity
		
01:03:59 --> 01:04:01
			long before the the brother.
		
01:04:01 --> 01:04:04
			A man can a boy can stay until,
		
01:04:07 --> 01:04:08
			a boy can stay until,
		
01:04:09 --> 01:04:11
			15 years and then he reaches the age
		
01:04:11 --> 01:04:13
			of maturity whereas the sisters,
		
01:04:13 --> 01:04:14
			8 years.
		
01:04:15 --> 01:04:17
			9 years. Yeah, that's why said,
		
01:04:19 --> 01:04:20
			if a girl reaches
		
01:04:23 --> 01:04:25
			9 years, she's not girl anymore, she's a
		
01:04:25 --> 01:04:25
			woman.
		
01:04:26 --> 01:04:27
			And, so
		
01:04:28 --> 01:04:30
			when she start observing the fences,
		
01:04:31 --> 01:04:33
			that's a clear indicator that she can handle
		
01:04:33 --> 01:04:34
			the responsibility
		
01:04:34 --> 01:04:35
			of the,
		
01:04:36 --> 01:04:36
			marriage.
		
01:04:37 --> 01:04:37
			And,
		
01:04:40 --> 01:04:41
			obviously,
		
01:04:42 --> 01:04:43
			as uh-uh
		
01:04:44 --> 01:04:44
			sometimes
		
01:04:45 --> 01:04:47
			the size and the nature of a person
		
01:04:47 --> 01:04:49
			is also supposed to be be
		
01:04:49 --> 01:04:50
			taken into consideration.
		
01:04:51 --> 01:04:53
			If she reached the age of 9 and
		
01:04:53 --> 01:04:54
			she's still
		
01:04:54 --> 01:04:55
			so little, so tiny,
		
01:04:56 --> 01:04:58
			yeah, it might be better for the parent
		
01:04:58 --> 01:04:59
			to to wait.
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:03
			And also, it is my personal advice that
		
01:05:04 --> 01:05:06
			don't let your daughter go to a marriage
		
01:05:07 --> 01:05:08
			if she doesn't know what marriage is all
		
01:05:08 --> 01:05:09
			about.
		
01:05:09 --> 01:05:11
			Yeah. She should reach the age where she
		
01:05:11 --> 01:05:12
			knows marriage.
		
01:05:12 --> 01:05:13
			Yeah. Otherwise,
		
01:05:14 --> 01:05:16
			that person will be in trouble also giving
		
01:05:16 --> 01:05:17
			her a terabir,
		
01:05:17 --> 01:05:19
			you know. And, also, who to take care
		
01:05:19 --> 01:05:21
			of his kids if they happen to get
		
01:05:21 --> 01:05:22
			kids. So he is going to be busy
		
01:05:22 --> 01:05:24
			giving terubia to this one and,
		
01:05:24 --> 01:05:27
			and the kids also to come. Yeah.
		
01:05:27 --> 01:05:29
			But is it halal after reaching the age
		
01:05:29 --> 01:05:30
			of maturity? Yes. The prophet
		
01:05:31 --> 01:05:32
			did and the scholar said it's okay. As
		
01:05:32 --> 01:05:34
			long as she reaches the age of maturity
		
01:05:34 --> 01:05:37
			then then it is fine. Aisha married the
		
01:05:37 --> 01:05:39
			prophet at the age of 6
		
01:05:39 --> 01:05:41
			and she was taken to the prophet at
		
01:05:41 --> 01:05:42
			the age of 9.
		
01:05:43 --> 01:05:45
			That was the time when the body is
		
01:05:45 --> 01:05:46
			ready to go to the prophet
		
01:05:47 --> 01:05:49
			as as a wife. And subhanallah,
		
01:05:50 --> 01:05:51
			that was the most
		
01:05:52 --> 01:05:54
			successful marriage after the marriage of Khadija with
		
01:05:54 --> 01:05:54
			the prophet
		
01:05:55 --> 01:05:57
			There was no problem in that marriage because
		
01:05:57 --> 01:06:00
			Aisha knows exactly what marriage is all about.
		
01:06:00 --> 01:06:02
			And she accepted the marriage. There was no
		
01:06:02 --> 01:06:03
			*
		
01:06:03 --> 01:06:03
			here.
		
01:06:04 --> 01:06:06
			Sullay Sallallahu alaihi wa sama never *
		
01:06:06 --> 01:06:07
			anyone.
		
01:06:16 --> 01:06:19
			Willingly. She also wants the marriage, she accepted.
		
01:06:19 --> 01:06:21
			The father advised her she did not have
		
01:06:21 --> 01:06:22
			any objection.
		
01:06:22 --> 01:06:24
			In that community they don't force people to
		
01:06:24 --> 01:06:26
			marry if they don't want to marry. That's
		
01:06:26 --> 01:06:27
			why when Umar
		
01:06:28 --> 01:06:29
			proposed to marry the
		
01:06:29 --> 01:06:31
			the daughter of Abu Bakr,
		
01:06:32 --> 01:06:34
			Umu Kulsu, the sister of Aisha and
		
01:06:36 --> 01:06:39
			Aisha told her, she said, she doesn't want.
		
01:06:39 --> 01:06:40
			Yeah. And this is Umar
		
01:06:41 --> 01:06:44
			the Khalifa. But she said she doesn't want.
		
01:06:44 --> 01:06:46
			Aisha radiallahuhan had to all that, but this
		
01:06:46 --> 01:06:46
			is Khalifa.
		
01:06:47 --> 01:06:48
			She says still I don't want.
		
01:06:49 --> 01:06:51
			It's very harsh.
		
01:06:51 --> 01:06:53
			But then, you know, they just
		
01:06:54 --> 01:06:56
			have to go to inform Omar. They inform
		
01:06:56 --> 01:06:58
			him that, yes, she she refused to agree
		
01:06:58 --> 01:06:59
			with the proposal.
		
01:07:00 --> 01:07:01
			They did not force her, knowing the fact
		
01:07:01 --> 01:07:03
			that he is Ummah, the Khalifa of the
		
01:07:03 --> 01:07:06
			Muslim Inn, but they never force her. She
		
01:07:06 --> 01:07:08
			said this is her choice. Let let her
		
01:07:08 --> 01:07:10
			with her choice. Aisha told her wake up,
		
01:07:10 --> 01:07:11
			this is Umar Radiallahu
		
01:07:11 --> 01:07:13
			and Khalifa to Muslimeen. She said no I
		
01:07:13 --> 01:07:14
			don't want.
		
01:07:15 --> 01:07:17
			And does it they do not force her.
		
01:07:17 --> 01:07:18
			And they told Omar, Omar did not say,
		
01:07:18 --> 01:07:21
			come on, how can she reject me?
		
01:07:21 --> 01:07:23
			Yeah. They told him, she said she doesn't
		
01:07:23 --> 01:07:25
			want, then he khalas, he closed the page.
		
01:07:26 --> 01:07:27
			Allah gave him somebody
		
01:07:28 --> 01:07:29
			who was better.
		
01:07:30 --> 01:07:31
			Who was that?
		
01:07:31 --> 01:07:33
			The daughter of Ali ibn Abi Talib. Because
		
01:07:33 --> 01:07:35
			that one is related to Rasulullah.
		
01:07:36 --> 01:07:37
			Umukufu.
		
01:07:37 --> 01:07:39
			That one is related to
		
01:07:39 --> 01:07:41
			you know the the the family of Rasulullah.
		
01:07:43 --> 01:07:44
			She's related to the family of Rasulullah.
		
01:07:45 --> 01:07:47
			So, what I'm trying to say is, in
		
01:07:47 --> 01:07:50
			that time, they don't force, you know, people
		
01:07:50 --> 01:07:52
			to marry. It's very rare to find, to
		
01:07:52 --> 01:07:53
			find this. So the prophet
		
01:07:53 --> 01:07:54
			did it, it shows promiscibility,
		
01:07:55 --> 01:07:57
			and it is on until the day of
		
01:07:57 --> 01:07:57
			judgement.
		
01:07:58 --> 01:08:00
			Yeah. We do have children in the primary
		
01:08:00 --> 01:08:01
			school committing Zena.
		
01:08:02 --> 01:08:04
			There's a time we're living in.
		
01:08:04 --> 01:08:06
			One of the worst stories I hear is
		
01:08:06 --> 01:08:08
			this. The girl in the primary school becoming
		
01:08:08 --> 01:08:09
			pregnant.
		
01:08:10 --> 01:08:10
			How?
		
01:08:12 --> 01:08:13
			Primary school. Right?
		
01:08:14 --> 01:08:15
			What does that tell you?
		
01:08:16 --> 01:08:16
			Yeah.
		
01:08:17 --> 01:08:19
			The parents should be very careful. When she
		
01:08:19 --> 01:08:20
			says she need to marry,
		
01:08:21 --> 01:08:23
			Yeah. If they will not get into trouble,
		
01:08:23 --> 01:08:25
			let her go rather than committing Zina.
		
01:08:26 --> 01:08:27
			You know, and then it become a shame
		
01:08:27 --> 01:08:29
			for the family and the community.
		
01:08:30 --> 01:08:32
			But unfortunately, we are living in a time
		
01:08:32 --> 01:08:32
			whereby
		
01:08:33 --> 01:08:35
			Zena can take place against kids.
		
01:08:36 --> 01:08:38
			* can take place against kid.
		
01:08:39 --> 01:08:40
			Nobody is talking about this.
		
01:08:41 --> 01:08:43
			It's all NIFAC. It's all NIFAC, and it
		
01:08:43 --> 01:08:45
			stands for woman. It stands for children. Trust
		
01:08:45 --> 01:08:47
			me. It's all nifaq.
		
01:08:47 --> 01:08:49
			It's part of the agenda to create that
		
01:08:49 --> 01:08:51
			kind of system that will corrupt our kids,
		
01:08:51 --> 01:08:54
			which, inshallah, we'll address in in the future.
		
01:08:55 --> 01:08:57
			They know exactly what they are doing. You
		
01:08:57 --> 01:08:59
			Allah. They know exactly what they are doing.
		
01:09:00 --> 01:09:02
			Otherwise, in an Islamic school,
		
01:09:03 --> 01:09:04
			Islamic school,
		
01:09:06 --> 01:09:08
			the curriculum for the history
		
01:09:09 --> 01:09:12
			is Kufar history. Kufar Kufar.
		
01:09:12 --> 01:09:15
			Kufar Kufar. Number 1 Kufar. Even amongst the
		
01:09:15 --> 01:09:17
			Kufar, they are unique among Kufar Kufar.
		
01:09:18 --> 01:09:21
			We teach the history. Trust me. Honestly speaking,
		
01:09:21 --> 01:09:23
			what does my child going to benefit from
		
01:09:23 --> 01:09:24
			this history?
		
01:09:26 --> 01:09:28
			What does my I look at the book
		
01:09:28 --> 01:09:29
			of history in one of the grades.
		
01:09:30 --> 01:09:32
			Trust me with no exaggeration from a to
		
01:09:32 --> 01:09:34
			z in that book that is nothing except
		
01:09:34 --> 01:09:34
			Christianity
		
01:09:35 --> 01:09:36
			until that.
		
01:09:37 --> 01:09:39
			The clashes because between the this church and
		
01:09:39 --> 01:09:42
			this church. There is no single word to
		
01:09:42 --> 01:09:44
			my knowledge who talks about Islam. None.
		
01:09:45 --> 01:09:47
			It's about them, their history.
		
01:09:47 --> 01:09:49
			And at the end of the day, my
		
01:09:49 --> 01:09:50
			son is going to be,
		
01:09:50 --> 01:09:51
			you know,
		
01:09:52 --> 01:09:54
			writing an examination based on their history.
		
01:09:55 --> 01:09:56
			And you know that this is very dangerous?
		
01:09:58 --> 01:09:59
			You will love this very dangerous.
		
01:10:00 --> 01:10:02
			Because history contains values.
		
01:10:03 --> 01:10:05
			Makes a person to be proud of who
		
01:10:05 --> 01:10:06
			he is.
		
01:10:07 --> 01:10:08
			Produces man.
		
01:10:09 --> 01:10:10
			Yeah. That's why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
01:10:11 --> 01:10:13
			repeats the Quran with
		
01:10:13 --> 01:10:15
			with history, history, history. Almost every place you
		
01:10:15 --> 01:10:17
			find history in the Quran.
		
01:10:18 --> 01:10:21
			Because it's it has a very big importance
		
01:10:21 --> 01:10:23
			in our life. In making you who you
		
01:10:23 --> 01:10:24
			are.
		
01:10:24 --> 01:10:27
			And imagine in my school, your school, their
		
01:10:27 --> 01:10:29
			school, we are teaching our children somebody else's
		
01:10:29 --> 01:10:30
			values,
		
01:10:31 --> 01:10:34
			no. So tomorrow, when they become corrupt,
		
01:10:35 --> 01:10:36
			you know, they have all of these bad
		
01:10:36 --> 01:10:37
			behaviors, we complain.
		
01:10:39 --> 01:10:40
			So back to that topic,
		
01:10:41 --> 01:10:41
			you know,
		
01:10:42 --> 01:10:43
			Carol might come in, you know, a boy
		
01:10:43 --> 01:10:45
			might come in, you know, he will up
		
01:10:45 --> 01:10:46
			to date, we are suffering from this, you
		
01:10:46 --> 01:10:48
			know. Even in the good
		
01:10:48 --> 01:10:51
			schools, we have cases of, you know, these
		
01:10:51 --> 01:10:52
			type of behaviors.
		
01:10:53 --> 01:10:55
			And there's not 1 or 2. No. It's
		
01:10:55 --> 01:10:55
			rampant.
		
01:10:56 --> 01:10:58
			Yeah. That's the reason why we have to
		
01:10:58 --> 01:11:00
			wake up. So at that age, they do.
		
01:11:01 --> 01:11:03
			You don't see that in the newspaper. People
		
01:11:03 --> 01:11:04
			are talking about that. You don't see that
		
01:11:04 --> 01:11:06
			in the media. People are talking about that.
		
01:11:07 --> 01:11:07
			However,
		
01:11:08 --> 01:11:09
			if Karim
		
01:11:09 --> 01:11:12
			let his daughter marry at the younger age,
		
01:11:12 --> 01:11:13
			you know, some countries even at the age
		
01:11:13 --> 01:11:14
			of
		
01:11:15 --> 01:11:16
			1918, you know, as long as she doesn't
		
01:11:16 --> 01:11:18
			reach the age which is prescribed by the
		
01:11:18 --> 01:11:20
			country, the government in that country,
		
01:11:22 --> 01:11:24
			they will be in trouble. Everyone will talk,
		
01:11:24 --> 01:11:25
			including the Muslim themselves.
		
01:11:27 --> 01:11:29
			Somebody was telling me, one of these countries,
		
01:11:30 --> 01:11:31
			committing zina
		
01:11:31 --> 01:11:34
			is halal. The law says, okay, somebody sent
		
01:11:34 --> 01:11:36
			me a question. It says, the law says,
		
01:11:37 --> 01:11:38
			a sister can commit zina.
		
01:11:39 --> 01:11:42
			At any age she want, legally is okay.
		
01:11:43 --> 01:11:43
			However,
		
01:11:44 --> 01:11:47
			marriage is prohibited unless if she reaches this
		
01:11:47 --> 01:11:47
			age.
		
01:11:49 --> 01:11:51
			And somebody will come and
		
01:11:51 --> 01:11:52
			tell us that their
		
01:11:53 --> 01:11:54
			virtues and values
		
01:11:55 --> 01:11:56
			are
		
01:11:56 --> 01:11:57
			good for us.
		
01:11:58 --> 01:12:00
			And Lagranta's good. So to answer that question,
		
01:12:00 --> 01:12:01
			it is halal.
		
01:12:02 --> 01:12:02
			And however,
		
01:12:03 --> 01:12:05
			there are many factors also emerge to be
		
01:12:05 --> 01:12:06
			considered. Aisha was not,
		
01:12:07 --> 01:12:08
			what do you call,
		
01:12:09 --> 01:12:12
			simple person, a very unique person.
		
01:12:12 --> 01:12:14
			Right? So don't take your daughter when she
		
01:12:14 --> 01:12:15
			was cut caught,
		
01:12:16 --> 01:12:18
			Yeah. To the house of, somebody. Right?
		
01:12:18 --> 01:12:20
			And wait for for her to reach the
		
01:12:20 --> 01:12:21
			age of maturity and the body also,
		
01:12:22 --> 01:12:25
			can handle responsibility of the marriage and then
		
01:12:25 --> 01:12:25
			she goes.
		
01:12:27 --> 01:12:28
			But that is sharia of Allah
		
01:12:29 --> 01:12:32
			and whoever doesn't, you know, become happy with
		
01:12:32 --> 01:12:33
			this, we tell him, Allah says
		
01:12:36 --> 01:12:38
			it's as simple as this. I hear some
		
01:12:38 --> 01:12:40
			Muslims are modifying. Oh, Rasulullah
		
01:12:40 --> 01:12:42
			at the age of 11. You know,
		
01:12:43 --> 01:12:45
			Something like that, you know. How if somebody
		
01:12:45 --> 01:12:48
			is making some modification? No. You don't modify
		
01:12:48 --> 01:12:50
			and we don't apologize because there was nothing
		
01:12:50 --> 01:12:51
			wrong being done.
		
01:12:52 --> 01:12:54
			There was an excellent thing that prophet
		
01:12:54 --> 01:12:56
			did, and it was a success.
		
01:12:56 --> 01:12:58
			You get it? There was no failure in
		
01:12:58 --> 01:12:59
			that marriage at all.
		
01:13:00 --> 01:13:02
			So if they talk, we tell them.
		
01:13:04 --> 01:13:06
			Yeah. We don't agree in forced marriages.
		
01:13:06 --> 01:13:08
			We're better than them. We and we agree
		
01:13:08 --> 01:13:10
			with responsible marriage.
		
01:13:10 --> 01:13:12
			You know? The Walee has been there for
		
01:13:12 --> 01:13:13
			what?
		
01:13:14 --> 01:13:16
			Why do we have Walee in in marriage?
		
01:13:18 --> 01:13:20
			There's a protection for them, for their sister,
		
01:13:20 --> 01:13:23
			right? Yeah. Police there have been placed in
		
01:13:23 --> 01:13:25
			the sharia of Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam as
		
01:13:25 --> 01:13:27
			a protector for her sister. How many times
		
01:13:27 --> 01:13:29
			her sister married and she got into trouble
		
01:13:29 --> 01:13:30
			from her husband?
		
01:13:30 --> 01:13:32
			How many times? A lot.
		
01:13:33 --> 01:13:34
			A lot of times.
		
01:13:34 --> 01:13:36
			So Ali is standing as a protection for
		
01:13:36 --> 01:13:37
			her. Alright?
		
01:13:38 --> 01:13:39
			And also
		
01:13:39 --> 01:13:41
			the husband will always remember that there is
		
01:13:41 --> 01:13:43
			somebody who is standing for her. So he
		
01:13:43 --> 01:13:45
			will try to behave well or just let
		
01:13:45 --> 01:13:46
			her go.
		
01:13:46 --> 01:13:49
			Rather than harm him because he has somebody
		
01:13:49 --> 01:13:50
			also who stands for
		
01:13:51 --> 01:13:54
			her. Yeah. LaGrange is good. K. Next question,
		
01:13:54 --> 01:13:54
			if any.
		
01:13:55 --> 01:13:57
			One last question, then we go to now.
		
01:13:58 --> 01:13:59
			We'll go back to the class.
		
01:14:00 --> 01:14:00
			Sister.
		
01:14:05 --> 01:14:06
			The father needs to be vigilant
		
01:14:07 --> 01:14:09
			in guarding the family. I know. Can sheikh
		
01:14:09 --> 01:14:12
			please elaborate as normally the father leaves this
		
01:14:12 --> 01:14:12
			responsibility to
		
01:14:13 --> 01:14:15
			the mother to do this? But he shouldn't.
		
01:14:16 --> 01:14:18
			No. He shouldn't. This is
		
01:14:19 --> 01:14:21
			lack of sense of responsibility and a manner
		
01:14:21 --> 01:14:22
			from the side of the father.
		
01:14:23 --> 01:14:25
			That heavy cooperation between both of them must
		
01:14:25 --> 01:14:26
			be maintained.
		
01:14:27 --> 01:14:29
			Yeah. A woman need a man on her
		
01:14:29 --> 01:14:30
			side to succeed in her talvia.
		
01:14:31 --> 01:14:33
			She need that. There has to be somebody
		
01:14:33 --> 01:14:36
			who is following up. That's why in the
		
01:14:36 --> 01:14:37
			house,
		
01:14:37 --> 01:14:39
			who is the monster in the house?
		
01:14:41 --> 01:14:43
			Salam. Who is the monster in the house?
		
01:14:43 --> 01:14:44
			The father.
		
01:14:45 --> 01:14:48
			And, who is the the kind person, you
		
01:14:48 --> 01:14:48
			know,
		
01:14:49 --> 01:14:50
			more merciful person?
		
01:14:51 --> 01:14:54
			The mother. Yeah. Yeah. She talks, she shouts,
		
01:14:54 --> 01:14:54
			she
		
01:14:55 --> 01:14:56
			she fights so much, but,
		
01:14:57 --> 01:14:59
			the kids, you know, naturally knows that it
		
01:14:59 --> 01:15:00
			doesn't go to the heart.
		
01:15:01 --> 01:15:02
			Because if the child is to get into
		
01:15:02 --> 01:15:03
			trouble,
		
01:15:03 --> 01:15:05
			the mother will lose her uncle and go
		
01:15:05 --> 01:15:07
			immediately. And just now she was she was
		
01:15:07 --> 01:15:10
			shouting at him, sending shoes to him. But
		
01:15:10 --> 01:15:12
			but now he got into trouble. She was
		
01:15:12 --> 01:15:13
			the first she will be the first person
		
01:15:13 --> 01:15:14
			to be traumatised
		
01:15:15 --> 01:15:17
			and go and get him. So this connection
		
01:15:17 --> 01:15:18
			between the child and the mother is always
		
01:15:18 --> 01:15:19
			there.
		
01:15:20 --> 01:15:22
			But the father
		
01:15:23 --> 01:15:24
			is not like that.
		
01:15:26 --> 01:15:27
			It's too cold.
		
01:15:29 --> 01:15:30
			So the father
		
01:15:31 --> 01:15:33
			is a bit serious. So we need this
		
01:15:33 --> 01:15:36
			seriousness from him. And we need that soft
		
01:15:36 --> 01:15:37
			softness
		
01:15:37 --> 01:15:40
			and gentleness from the from the mother's side.
		
01:15:40 --> 01:15:42
			If we have these 2 inshallah, the balance
		
01:15:42 --> 01:15:44
			will be maintained. And then
		
01:15:45 --> 01:15:47
			good will be given to to the child.
		
01:15:47 --> 01:15:50
			So the father shouldn't step aside and let
		
01:15:50 --> 01:15:52
			the mother do the herself.
		
01:15:53 --> 01:15:55
			You get it? The father shouldn't do that.
		
01:15:55 --> 01:15:58
			She needs his support and help. That's why
		
01:15:58 --> 01:16:00
			the kaula says, I cannot do it alone.
		
01:16:01 --> 01:16:04
			You Rasool Allah. My my husband did the
		
01:16:04 --> 01:16:06
			wihar on me, and I cannot do the
		
01:16:06 --> 01:16:09
			at all. He left me with kids. If
		
01:16:09 --> 01:16:10
			I am to leave this kid to him,
		
01:16:11 --> 01:16:13
			they will they will die out of hunger.
		
01:16:13 --> 01:16:15
			And if I leave them with me,
		
01:16:15 --> 01:16:17
			they will get lost because they need the
		
01:16:17 --> 01:16:19
			support of the father for their terabir to
		
01:16:19 --> 01:16:20
			be to be maintained.
		
01:16:21 --> 01:16:23
			Allah grant us good. So let's go back
		
01:16:23 --> 01:16:26
			inshallah and then we open, the session again
		
01:16:26 --> 01:16:28
			for questions. May Allah grant to all of
		
01:16:28 --> 01:16:29
			us, Tawfiq,
		
01:16:29 --> 01:16:31
			and be with us wherever we are. So
		
01:16:31 --> 01:16:33
			as I said, we'll be talking inshallah about
		
01:16:33 --> 01:16:35
			the Sifat Al Almorabi.
		
01:16:36 --> 01:16:39
			Yeah, the qualities the Morabi should have. Okay?
		
01:16:40 --> 01:16:43
			The first one mentioned by, some is,
		
01:16:43 --> 01:16:44
			I learned knowledge.
		
01:16:45 --> 01:16:46
			You know,
		
01:16:46 --> 01:16:47
			knowledge.
		
01:16:47 --> 01:16:49
			You see we talk about Akida, right? And
		
01:16:49 --> 01:16:51
			we talk about other
		
01:16:52 --> 01:16:54
			discipline, you know, you have knowledge, you have
		
01:16:54 --> 01:16:55
			Akida knowledge.
		
01:16:56 --> 01:16:58
			So, you're going to be, you know, giving
		
01:16:58 --> 01:17:00
			Tarbia of your kids, kids and you're based
		
01:17:00 --> 01:17:01
			them upon the knowledge.
		
01:17:02 --> 01:17:04
			The Arabs said,
		
01:17:05 --> 01:17:08
			You know, if you like something, you cannot
		
01:17:08 --> 01:17:09
			give it to somebody.
		
01:17:10 --> 01:17:11
			He meaning,
		
01:17:11 --> 01:17:13
			if you don't have something, how can you
		
01:17:13 --> 01:17:15
			present it to somebody? I want to teach
		
01:17:15 --> 01:17:17
			somebody knowledge. But I don't have that knowledge.
		
01:17:18 --> 01:17:19
			How can I teach?
		
01:17:20 --> 01:17:21
			That's why
		
01:17:22 --> 01:17:25
			the father and the mother both are supposed
		
01:17:25 --> 01:17:27
			to be upon the necessary knowledge
		
01:17:27 --> 01:17:29
			because there must be classes
		
01:17:30 --> 01:17:31
			organized in the class.
		
01:17:32 --> 01:17:34
			You know, a dead family
		
01:17:34 --> 01:17:36
			is a family that the father is busy
		
01:17:36 --> 01:17:38
			with his work, the mother also busy with
		
01:17:38 --> 01:17:40
			her work, whatever that work might be.
		
01:17:40 --> 01:17:43
			They don't have duress in the family.
		
01:17:43 --> 01:17:45
			This is very wrong and very dangerous.
		
01:17:46 --> 01:17:48
			There must be duress in the family where
		
01:17:48 --> 01:17:50
			the father is teaching or the mother is
		
01:17:50 --> 01:17:51
			teaching.
		
01:17:51 --> 01:17:53
			And if the mother is ignorant
		
01:17:53 --> 01:17:56
			and the father is ignorant, the kids have
		
01:17:56 --> 01:17:57
			to go and get it by themselves.
		
01:17:58 --> 01:18:00
			This will be the beginning of efficiency.
		
01:18:01 --> 01:18:03
			So knowledge is necessary.
		
01:18:04 --> 01:18:06
			Right? Not not in the sense of being
		
01:18:06 --> 01:18:07
			a Mufti,
		
01:18:08 --> 01:18:10
			you know, or great scholar. No. You just
		
01:18:10 --> 01:18:11
			need to know the basic.
		
01:18:12 --> 01:18:14
			Your child need to pray, need to fast,
		
01:18:14 --> 01:18:17
			need to pay charity when he becomes rich.
		
01:18:17 --> 01:18:19
			When he reaches the age of puberty, he
		
01:18:19 --> 01:18:21
			need to understand how to deal with that
		
01:18:21 --> 01:18:21
			situation.
		
01:18:22 --> 01:18:24
			You know? Which in many places, we even
		
01:18:24 --> 01:18:26
			cancel the explanation. We don't tell the kids
		
01:18:26 --> 01:18:28
			what to do in that
		
01:18:28 --> 01:18:29
			situation
		
01:18:29 --> 01:18:32
			due to the shyness and the cultural barrier
		
01:18:32 --> 01:18:33
			between us and our children.
		
01:18:34 --> 01:18:36
			Yeah. We felt so shy. The school is
		
01:18:36 --> 01:18:38
			not explaining and we are not explaining. So
		
01:18:38 --> 01:18:39
			they grow up and they don't know what
		
01:18:39 --> 01:18:40
			to do in that regard.
		
01:18:42 --> 01:18:44
			So knowledge is is necessary.
		
01:18:45 --> 01:18:46
			The father and the mother, they have to
		
01:18:46 --> 01:18:49
			be upon the knowledge as I said, because
		
01:18:49 --> 01:18:51
			they are going to engage in teaching the
		
01:18:51 --> 01:18:51
			kids in
		
01:18:52 --> 01:18:53
			in the in the future.
		
01:18:55 --> 01:18:57
			The second one is the Amana. There's a
		
01:18:57 --> 01:18:59
			first quality is knowledge. A mother should be
		
01:18:59 --> 01:19:02
			knowledgeable and the father should be knowledgeable. The
		
01:19:02 --> 01:19:03
			second one is Amana.
		
01:19:04 --> 01:19:06
			Because as I said, kids are
		
01:19:06 --> 01:19:08
			a manner on our shoulder.
		
01:19:09 --> 01:19:11
			So a husband should be, I mean, trustworthy.
		
01:19:12 --> 01:19:14
			And the wife also should be, I mean,
		
01:19:14 --> 01:19:15
			trustworthy.
		
01:19:16 --> 01:19:18
			If the spouse is not trustworthy,
		
01:19:19 --> 01:19:21
			that responsibility and the terbia will not be
		
01:19:21 --> 01:19:22
			given
		
01:19:23 --> 01:19:25
			correctly. You're going to leave your house,
		
01:19:25 --> 01:19:27
			and who is going to be giving the
		
01:19:27 --> 01:19:29
			terbia to the kids? Your wife.
		
01:19:29 --> 01:19:31
			She might be leaving the house, and who
		
01:19:31 --> 01:19:33
			is going to be taking care of the
		
01:19:33 --> 01:19:33
			kids?
		
01:19:34 --> 01:19:34
			The husband.
		
01:19:35 --> 01:19:37
			Is that clear? In our time, from time
		
01:19:37 --> 01:19:39
			to time, sometimes the wife will be in
		
01:19:39 --> 01:19:40
			in the hospital.
		
01:19:41 --> 01:19:42
			Or she will be with the family. And
		
01:19:42 --> 01:19:44
			the husband happens to be with with the
		
01:19:44 --> 01:19:45
			kids at home.
		
01:19:46 --> 01:19:48
			Yeah. If he doesn't know how to,
		
01:19:48 --> 01:19:50
			I mean doesn't have the sense of responsibility
		
01:19:50 --> 01:19:52
			in Amana, trust me, he will never do
		
01:19:52 --> 01:19:53
			the job correctly.
		
01:19:54 --> 01:19:55
			He will not fear Allah and
		
01:19:56 --> 01:19:57
			if there is no Amana,
		
01:19:58 --> 01:20:00
			they will be feeding the kids with the
		
01:20:00 --> 01:20:00
			wrong information.
		
01:20:02 --> 01:20:04
			Yeah, just to preserve their own personal
		
01:20:05 --> 01:20:07
			interest. Because a child as the scholars mentioned,
		
01:20:08 --> 01:20:10
			is just like an empty bag.
		
01:20:11 --> 01:20:12
			You are the one who is filling it
		
01:20:12 --> 01:20:13
			with whatever you want.
		
01:20:15 --> 01:20:17
			Get it? A child is just like an
		
01:20:17 --> 01:20:18
			empty bag.
		
01:20:18 --> 01:20:20
			You fill it with whatever you want.
		
01:20:21 --> 01:20:22
			The policies went show
		
01:20:23 --> 01:20:24
			Nashi Olfitiani,
		
01:20:25 --> 01:20:27
			Mina Alama Kana Awadahu, Abuhu.
		
01:20:28 --> 01:20:29
			You know, the kids
		
01:20:29 --> 01:20:30
			are going to
		
01:20:31 --> 01:20:33
			be grown up based on what
		
01:20:34 --> 01:20:35
			the parent
		
01:20:35 --> 01:20:38
			have fed them with. Whatever they give them,
		
01:20:38 --> 01:20:40
			this is going to be their attitude and
		
01:20:40 --> 01:20:41
			their behavior
		
01:20:41 --> 01:20:42
			in the future.
		
01:20:43 --> 01:20:44
			So there has to be a manner. So
		
01:20:44 --> 01:20:46
			that whatever we are going to introduce in
		
01:20:46 --> 01:20:49
			that family should be something that Allah
		
01:20:50 --> 01:20:51
			loves and he will not corrupt
		
01:20:52 --> 01:20:52
			the
		
01:20:53 --> 01:20:55
			the terbia of our our children. Because even
		
01:20:55 --> 01:20:57
			if there is knowledge, but there is no
		
01:20:57 --> 01:20:58
			a manah,
		
01:20:58 --> 01:21:01
			the father will let the kids, you know,
		
01:21:01 --> 01:21:02
			do that which they want to do.
		
01:21:03 --> 01:21:05
			Knowing that this is not pleasing to Allah
		
01:21:06 --> 01:21:09
			because this sense of responsibility is not is
		
01:21:09 --> 01:21:09
			not there.
		
01:21:10 --> 01:21:11
			The 3rd
		
01:21:11 --> 01:21:12
			mentioned by
		
01:21:13 --> 01:21:15
			some scholars is strength,
		
01:21:16 --> 01:21:17
			ability to decide,
		
01:21:18 --> 01:21:19
			to plan, and to execute.
		
01:21:20 --> 01:21:22
			Yeah, a weak family would not succeed in
		
01:21:22 --> 01:21:25
			giving a terabia to the kids. And when
		
01:21:25 --> 01:21:27
			we talk about co work here, we are
		
01:21:27 --> 01:21:29
			not talking about the physical ability.
		
01:21:31 --> 01:21:33
			No. A person might be so skinny, so
		
01:21:33 --> 01:21:34
			thin,
		
01:21:34 --> 01:21:35
			but has him,
		
01:21:36 --> 01:21:39
			you know, has him. We need this, Hazm
		
01:21:39 --> 01:21:41
			to be there, which is one of the
		
01:21:41 --> 01:21:43
			qualities mentioned by some scholars.
		
01:21:44 --> 01:21:46
			So he is capable to, I mean,
		
01:21:47 --> 01:21:50
			to plan. The wife also is like that,
		
01:21:50 --> 01:21:51
			and also to execute.
		
01:21:52 --> 01:21:54
			They're very serious in that decision, and the
		
01:21:54 --> 01:21:56
			kids, they know they know this.
		
01:21:56 --> 01:21:59
			If the family are weak, whenever the mother
		
01:21:59 --> 01:22:01
			asks for something, which she believes is for
		
01:22:01 --> 01:22:03
			the benefit of the kid. And the kid
		
01:22:03 --> 01:22:05
			don't want to accept.
		
01:22:06 --> 01:22:06
			She
		
01:22:06 --> 01:22:07
			submit
		
01:22:08 --> 01:22:09
			to their desire.
		
01:22:09 --> 01:22:12
			The father also submit to that desire. What
		
01:22:12 --> 01:22:12
			happens?
		
01:22:13 --> 01:22:14
			The kid will get lost.
		
01:22:15 --> 01:22:17
			Yeah. We are not helping them. You Allah.
		
01:22:17 --> 01:22:18
			We are not helping them.
		
01:22:19 --> 01:22:20
			That's why
		
01:22:20 --> 01:22:21
			one of them
		
01:22:22 --> 01:22:23
			somebody asked him.
		
01:22:23 --> 01:22:26
			He said, I I want you to advise
		
01:22:26 --> 01:22:27
			me on how to give Telbia to my
		
01:22:27 --> 01:22:28
			child.
		
01:22:29 --> 01:22:32
			He said, how old is your child? You
		
01:22:32 --> 01:22:33
			have one? He said, yes. How old is
		
01:22:33 --> 01:22:34
			he? He said, 1 month.
		
01:22:35 --> 01:22:37
			He said, oh, 1 month is too late.
		
01:22:37 --> 01:22:38
			Now you're asking about
		
01:22:38 --> 01:22:39
			Telvia?
		
01:22:41 --> 01:22:43
			1 month old, he told the father, it's
		
01:22:43 --> 01:22:44
			too late.
		
01:22:45 --> 01:22:47
			So he himself also the sheikh said,
		
01:22:48 --> 01:22:50
			but then after he left, I was thinking
		
01:22:50 --> 01:22:51
			between me and myself,
		
01:22:53 --> 01:22:56
			I think this is exaggeration. Only 1 month?
		
01:22:56 --> 01:22:58
			But then he said, no. It is not.
		
01:22:58 --> 01:23:00
			It is not an exaggeration.
		
01:23:01 --> 01:23:03
			Because the mother has to train the child,
		
01:23:04 --> 01:23:05
			you know, from day 1.
		
01:23:06 --> 01:23:07
			She has to be very smart
		
01:23:08 --> 01:23:09
			in training the child
		
01:23:10 --> 01:23:11
			to give him what he wants
		
01:23:12 --> 01:23:14
			at the time he need it.
		
01:23:14 --> 01:23:16
			The time he doesn't need it, he has
		
01:23:16 --> 01:23:17
			to be trained
		
01:23:17 --> 01:23:19
			not to get something. You know, kids are
		
01:23:19 --> 01:23:20
			very simple.
		
01:23:20 --> 01:23:22
			When a child look for something and you
		
01:23:22 --> 01:23:24
			resist because you know that this is not
		
01:23:24 --> 01:23:26
			good for him and he's just asking,
		
01:23:26 --> 01:23:29
			you know, for fun. He doesn't need it.
		
01:23:29 --> 01:23:31
			When the mother resists, in a nice way
		
01:23:31 --> 01:23:33
			of course. The father resists in a nice
		
01:23:33 --> 01:23:35
			way. The baby is going to do what?
		
01:23:36 --> 01:23:38
			What is he going to do? Crying.
		
01:23:39 --> 01:23:41
			A lot of cry. Usually the vast majority
		
01:23:41 --> 01:23:44
			of us after that cry, we do what?
		
01:23:44 --> 01:23:45
			We submit.
		
01:23:46 --> 01:23:48
			If we are going to submit, then at
		
01:23:48 --> 01:23:50
			the first place we are not supposed to
		
01:23:50 --> 01:23:52
			reject, we are supposed to give. When he
		
01:23:52 --> 01:23:53
			says give, just give.
		
01:23:54 --> 01:23:55
			Because if you let him cry and then
		
01:23:55 --> 01:23:58
			you give, what are you, what kind of
		
01:23:58 --> 01:24:00
			message are you sending the to the to
		
01:24:00 --> 01:24:00
			the child?
		
01:24:01 --> 01:24:03
			The best means to get your need is
		
01:24:03 --> 01:24:04
			to to cry.
		
01:24:06 --> 01:24:08
			Somebody says, child, you see a child, they
		
01:24:08 --> 01:24:11
			feel right? There's there's, cat quote is like,
		
01:24:12 --> 01:24:13
			the, what do you call, what do you
		
01:24:13 --> 01:24:15
			call this, the sample they they put
		
01:24:15 --> 01:24:19
			to show people any what they are selling.
		
01:24:19 --> 01:24:22
			Demo, demo, or something else. Charlie's like a
		
01:24:22 --> 01:24:23
			demo of human being.
		
01:24:24 --> 01:24:27
			Somebody says he's a complete human being, has
		
01:24:27 --> 01:24:29
			all the feeling. And trust me, this is
		
01:24:29 --> 01:24:30
			true. You see this baby?
		
01:24:31 --> 01:24:33
			Whatever you have of feelings,
		
01:24:33 --> 01:24:34
			rejection,
		
01:24:34 --> 01:24:36
			acceptance, what I want, what I don't want,
		
01:24:36 --> 01:24:38
			that the baby has. The only thing is
		
01:24:38 --> 01:24:40
			that they cannot express themselves.
		
01:24:41 --> 01:24:43
			They're monitoring what you're doing. Don't you ever
		
01:24:43 --> 01:24:45
			think and deceive yourself that
		
01:24:45 --> 01:24:47
			the baby doesn't understand? No. They know.
		
01:24:47 --> 01:24:48
			They just cannot
		
01:24:49 --> 01:24:51
			share the discussion with you.
		
01:24:51 --> 01:24:53
			But they know what is going on.
		
01:24:54 --> 01:24:56
			That's why sometimes you see this baby at
		
01:24:56 --> 01:24:57
			the age of 1
		
01:24:57 --> 01:25:00
			would pretend to cry. You know he's pretending.
		
01:25:01 --> 01:25:04
			When you resist, he would just stop crying.
		
01:25:04 --> 01:25:05
			Just like that. Stop.
		
01:25:07 --> 01:25:10
			So the sheikh said, the baby cried,
		
01:25:10 --> 01:25:12
			and then the mother gave him what he
		
01:25:12 --> 01:25:13
			wants. So she's sending a message to the
		
01:25:13 --> 01:25:14
			baby,
		
01:25:14 --> 01:25:16
			you know, that the best method for you
		
01:25:16 --> 01:25:18
			to get your need is to is to
		
01:25:18 --> 01:25:19
			cry.
		
01:25:20 --> 01:25:21
			That's why I said,
		
01:25:22 --> 01:25:23
			if you know you're going to submit,
		
01:25:25 --> 01:25:27
			don't resist in the first place. Just give
		
01:25:27 --> 01:25:28
			them what you want.
		
01:25:29 --> 01:25:31
			So how to make it? No. The time
		
01:25:31 --> 01:25:33
			you know that the child doesn't need. You're
		
01:25:33 --> 01:25:34
			just crying for no reason.
		
01:25:35 --> 01:25:36
			Then
		
01:25:37 --> 01:25:39
			that person says, you should stay away from
		
01:25:39 --> 01:25:41
			giving and let them cry. They are going
		
01:25:41 --> 01:25:43
			to cry. Let them cry. As long as
		
01:25:43 --> 01:25:45
			they are not disturbing the neighbors, let them
		
01:25:45 --> 01:25:45
			cry.
		
01:25:46 --> 01:25:48
			They cry. They come they might come and
		
01:25:48 --> 01:25:50
			hit the mother and do everything, you know,
		
01:25:50 --> 01:25:51
			wanting their right to be given to them.
		
01:25:51 --> 01:25:53
			The mother shouldn't worry.
		
01:25:54 --> 01:25:55
			Just kiss him
		
01:25:55 --> 01:25:58
			and continue with her work. Don't give. It's
		
01:25:58 --> 01:26:00
			good for him actually to cry sometimes to
		
01:26:00 --> 01:26:02
			have the better circulation of blood as they
		
01:26:02 --> 01:26:03
			said.
		
01:26:05 --> 01:26:08
			But, trust me, this is really, good for
		
01:26:08 --> 01:26:08
			the children.
		
01:26:09 --> 01:26:11
			Although I don't do it at the early
		
01:26:11 --> 01:26:13
			age of the kids. Yeah, because you might
		
01:26:13 --> 01:26:14
			be harming the child.
		
01:26:15 --> 01:26:17
			Yeah. Because the best way for them to
		
01:26:17 --> 01:26:19
			express their need is when they when they
		
01:26:19 --> 01:26:21
			cry. They have no any other method.
		
01:26:21 --> 01:26:22
			If the mother is supposed to is going
		
01:26:22 --> 01:26:24
			to put them into this, she might harm
		
01:26:24 --> 01:26:26
			the baby, you know, unnecessarily.
		
01:26:27 --> 01:26:28
			But there is a time when the boy
		
01:26:28 --> 01:26:31
			will grow a bit, and he's crying unnecessarily,
		
01:26:31 --> 01:26:33
			and the parents are giving him what they
		
01:26:33 --> 01:26:36
			need. Trust me. They are corrupting their child.
		
01:26:36 --> 01:26:38
			They have to start discipline,
		
01:26:38 --> 01:26:41
			the child from that age. So what they
		
01:26:41 --> 01:26:43
			should do? Don't give what they know the
		
01:26:43 --> 01:26:46
			child doesn't need to train him on how
		
01:26:46 --> 01:26:49
			to, you know, restrict himself to, what is
		
01:26:49 --> 01:26:52
			necessary. They will cry. The next time also
		
01:26:52 --> 01:26:54
			they look for it, when she refused or
		
01:26:54 --> 01:26:56
			he refused, they will cry also. But trust
		
01:26:56 --> 01:26:59
			me, the cry today will not be like
		
01:26:59 --> 01:27:00
			the cry yesterday.
		
01:27:00 --> 01:27:02
			And the 3rd time, they will cry a
		
01:27:02 --> 01:27:04
			bit until they reach the time when they
		
01:27:04 --> 01:27:05
			said, no, the child will just look for
		
01:27:05 --> 01:27:06
			something else.
		
01:27:08 --> 01:27:10
			They are trained. So Alcoa is necessary
		
01:27:11 --> 01:27:13
			to be able to make a decision
		
01:27:13 --> 01:27:15
			and to execute your decision.
		
01:27:15 --> 01:27:17
			Yeah. This is really necessary in the parent.
		
01:27:17 --> 01:27:19
			You shouldn't be weak in this regard.
		
01:27:20 --> 01:27:21
			The poll says
		
01:27:26 --> 01:27:28
			we'll talk about this inshallah later.
		
01:27:29 --> 01:27:32
			Okay. Justice. This is more applicable when you
		
01:27:32 --> 01:27:33
			have, you know, many children.
		
01:27:34 --> 01:27:35
			It's really
		
01:27:37 --> 01:27:39
			dangerous for you not to be fair and
		
01:27:39 --> 01:27:40
			just to your kids.
		
01:27:42 --> 01:27:44
			You get it? That's why the
		
01:27:44 --> 01:27:46
			prophet said, when you make a gift to
		
01:27:46 --> 01:27:47
			the children,
		
01:27:48 --> 01:27:49
			give each one of them the same thing
		
01:27:49 --> 01:27:50
			you are giving
		
01:27:51 --> 01:27:52
			the other one.
		
01:27:52 --> 01:27:55
			The man of Bilashid said, my father gave
		
01:27:55 --> 01:27:55
			me a land.
		
01:27:56 --> 01:27:58
			He gave him a land
		
01:27:58 --> 01:27:58
			and
		
01:27:59 --> 01:28:00
			his wife,
		
01:28:00 --> 01:28:02
			the mother of Noman said,
		
01:28:03 --> 01:28:05
			I don't want to witness this
		
01:28:05 --> 01:28:06
			unless if you go and talk to the
		
01:28:06 --> 01:28:07
			prophet
		
01:28:07 --> 01:28:09
			about that. So he went to told him,
		
01:28:09 --> 01:28:11
			yeah, Rasul, I want to make gift to
		
01:28:11 --> 01:28:13
			my child. And no man.
		
01:28:13 --> 01:28:14
			The prophet said,
		
01:28:15 --> 01:28:17
			oh, that's nice but did you, do you
		
01:28:17 --> 01:28:19
			have other children? He said, yes, I have
		
01:28:19 --> 01:28:21
			other children. The prophet
		
01:28:21 --> 01:28:23
			said, did you give them land also in
		
01:28:23 --> 01:28:24
			the way you give this one? He said,
		
01:28:24 --> 01:28:25
			no, you Rasulullah.
		
01:28:26 --> 01:28:26
			The prophet
		
01:28:27 --> 01:28:27
			said,
		
01:28:33 --> 01:28:34
			He said go and look for somebody to
		
01:28:34 --> 01:28:35
			witness this
		
01:28:36 --> 01:28:36
			because
		
01:28:37 --> 01:28:38
			I don't witness injustice.
		
01:28:40 --> 01:28:42
			When he says go and look for somebody
		
01:28:42 --> 01:28:43
			to witness this.
		
01:28:43 --> 01:28:45
			Does that mean it's okay for him to
		
01:28:45 --> 01:28:47
			go and look for somebody to witness it?
		
01:28:48 --> 01:28:48
			Salam.
		
01:28:49 --> 01:28:51
			Does that mean he can go and look
		
01:28:51 --> 01:28:52
			for somebody? Of course, no.
		
01:28:53 --> 01:28:55
			Because he says, I don't witness in injustice.
		
01:28:56 --> 01:28:58
			And then he says fear Allah and be
		
01:28:58 --> 01:29:00
			just to your kids.
		
01:29:00 --> 01:29:02
			So it's very wrong. It's very wrong.
		
01:29:03 --> 01:29:05
			And you can do that unless if there
		
01:29:05 --> 01:29:07
			is a justification for the gift.
		
01:29:07 --> 01:29:09
			For instance, you have 2 children.
		
01:29:10 --> 01:29:11
			1 of them is studying in UAE.
		
01:29:13 --> 01:29:14
			Get it? 1 of them is studying in
		
01:29:14 --> 01:29:15
			UAE,
		
01:29:15 --> 01:29:17
			and your house is nearby.
		
01:29:18 --> 01:29:20
			Your house is nearby. You live in Idaman,
		
01:29:20 --> 01:29:22
			Taman, Malati, or something,
		
01:29:23 --> 01:29:23
			some some
		
01:29:24 --> 01:29:26
			some somewhere closer to UI.
		
01:29:27 --> 01:29:29
			And the other child
		
01:29:29 --> 01:29:30
			studies in,
		
01:29:31 --> 01:29:32
			let's say, Kajang.
		
01:29:34 --> 01:29:36
			Right? He studies in Kajang.
		
01:29:37 --> 01:29:40
			It's too far, right? Transportation also and, food
		
01:29:40 --> 01:29:41
			and all of these things.
		
01:29:42 --> 01:29:44
			If I give them the monthly allowance, am
		
01:29:44 --> 01:29:46
			I going to give them an equal amount?
		
01:29:47 --> 01:29:49
			No. The one who goes far, you favor
		
01:29:49 --> 01:29:51
			him and this one also will understand.
		
01:29:52 --> 01:29:53
			Because he's gone far distance, that's why he's
		
01:29:53 --> 01:29:55
			getting this money. It's not for his own.
		
01:29:56 --> 01:29:57
			Personal
		
01:29:57 --> 01:29:59
			use the way he wants. No. It is
		
01:29:59 --> 01:30:00
			because of his need.
		
01:30:02 --> 01:30:03
			You have 2 children.
		
01:30:03 --> 01:30:05
			A boy and a girl.
		
01:30:05 --> 01:30:07
			The boy is married and the girl is
		
01:30:07 --> 01:30:07
			married.
		
01:30:09 --> 01:30:10
			You give the boy
		
01:30:11 --> 01:30:12
			a house.
		
01:30:13 --> 01:30:15
			Is it necessary that you must give the
		
01:30:15 --> 01:30:16
			girl also a house?
		
01:30:21 --> 01:30:24
			Give the boy a house. The girl is
		
01:30:24 --> 01:30:25
			it missus Abed you have to give her
		
01:30:25 --> 01:30:26
			also a house?
		
01:30:29 --> 01:30:31
			He thought I'm dealing with you know.
		
01:30:32 --> 01:30:33
			Uh-huh.
		
01:30:33 --> 01:30:34
			Not necessary.
		
01:30:35 --> 01:30:36
			Justice is not required here.
		
01:30:40 --> 01:30:42
			The scholar said it's not necessary.
		
01:30:42 --> 01:30:44
			You gave him the house, but for her,
		
01:30:44 --> 01:30:47
			you give her something else, something very valuable
		
01:30:48 --> 01:30:50
			for her. And it's not necessary to spend
		
01:30:50 --> 01:30:51
			the same money you spend buying the house
		
01:30:51 --> 01:30:52
			for him.
		
01:30:53 --> 01:30:54
			Not necessary at all.
		
01:30:54 --> 01:30:57
			You can get very nice and fancy jewelry,
		
01:30:57 --> 01:30:59
			very expensive, you know, and pass it to
		
01:30:59 --> 01:30:59
			her.
		
01:31:00 --> 01:31:02
			If you think she's gonna get annoyed, which
		
01:31:02 --> 01:31:04
			she's not, because she understands that this person
		
01:31:04 --> 01:31:06
			needs a house. She doesn't need because the
		
01:31:06 --> 01:31:09
			husband is going to provide a house for
		
01:31:09 --> 01:31:11
			her, but this one needs a house. So
		
01:31:11 --> 01:31:13
			this kind of preference is okay because you
		
01:31:13 --> 01:31:15
			are doing it based on a need.
		
01:31:16 --> 01:31:17
			How about
		
01:31:17 --> 01:31:20
			if one of them excel in an examination
		
01:31:21 --> 01:31:23
			and the other one is
		
01:31:23 --> 01:31:24
			zipped,
		
01:31:25 --> 01:31:26
			as you said. Meaning,
		
01:31:27 --> 01:31:27
			got
		
01:31:28 --> 01:31:30
			fantastic result
		
01:31:30 --> 01:31:31
			f.
		
01:31:32 --> 01:31:33
			And they are
		
01:31:34 --> 01:31:34
			alike.
		
01:31:35 --> 01:31:37
			Yeah. Like of f is
		
01:31:37 --> 01:31:39
			e. Right? Or something like that. Anyway,
		
01:31:40 --> 01:31:42
			so this one got this result, and the
		
01:31:42 --> 01:31:44
			other one got ace in ace.
		
01:31:45 --> 01:31:46
			When they reach back home,
		
01:31:47 --> 01:31:49
			subhanallah, you're so happy. You when you see
		
01:31:49 --> 01:31:50
			the result,
		
01:31:51 --> 01:31:51
			you know,
		
01:31:52 --> 01:31:54
			you hug the one who got a
		
01:31:54 --> 01:31:56
			you kiss him, you know. Tell him, just
		
01:31:56 --> 01:31:57
			go and get ready.
		
01:31:58 --> 01:32:00
			When we go into the mall, you choose
		
01:32:00 --> 01:32:03
			whatever you want. And this person, the other
		
01:32:03 --> 01:32:04
			one, no hugging,
		
01:32:05 --> 01:32:06
			and then tell him you will eat your
		
01:32:06 --> 01:32:08
			your paper by yourself.
		
01:32:11 --> 01:32:13
			Yeah. We do hard we become harsh. In
		
01:32:13 --> 01:32:15
			some places, trust me, they beat.
		
01:32:16 --> 01:32:17
			This one who got good result,
		
01:32:18 --> 01:32:18
			alhamdulillah.
		
01:32:19 --> 01:32:20
			And this one,
		
01:32:20 --> 01:32:22
			and they beat him also.
		
01:32:22 --> 01:32:24
			Why? We spent a lot on you and
		
01:32:24 --> 01:32:26
			you are giving us this result.
		
01:32:26 --> 01:32:28
			So we favor this one. We give him
		
01:32:28 --> 01:32:30
			all the gifts, and this one, we neglected
		
01:32:30 --> 01:32:33
			them. But Islamically, can this be a justification
		
01:32:33 --> 01:32:35
			for making preference between the kids?
		
01:32:35 --> 01:32:38
			No. Not at all. You can't. And actually,
		
01:32:38 --> 01:32:40
			it's not good for the Telabia.
		
01:32:40 --> 01:32:43
			Trust me, my dear brothers and sisters. It's
		
01:32:43 --> 01:32:45
			not good for the Telubia. Don't you ever
		
01:32:46 --> 01:32:47
			make a gift to a child
		
01:32:47 --> 01:32:49
			against the other one? Unless if he's alone,
		
01:32:49 --> 01:32:51
			if he's alone, no problem.
		
01:32:51 --> 01:32:53
			But don't you ever make a gift
		
01:32:53 --> 01:32:54
			for a child,
		
01:32:54 --> 01:32:56
			you know, against the the rest.
		
01:32:57 --> 01:32:59
			Who did not get the good result in
		
01:32:59 --> 01:33:01
			the way he get it. As a father,
		
01:33:02 --> 01:33:03
			when this happens,
		
01:33:03 --> 01:33:06
			actually, there shouldn't be any gift. If gift
		
01:33:06 --> 01:33:08
			is going to take place, you should give
		
01:33:08 --> 01:33:08
			who?
		
01:33:09 --> 01:33:10
			All of them.
		
01:33:11 --> 01:33:13
			Just tell them this is a gift as
		
01:33:13 --> 01:33:14
			a celebration
		
01:33:14 --> 01:33:17
			for completing our examination.
		
01:33:17 --> 01:33:19
			Alhamdulillah, we managed to see the end of
		
01:33:19 --> 01:33:20
			this examination
		
01:33:20 --> 01:33:23
			and we managed to see good result.
		
01:33:23 --> 01:33:26
			And inshallah, we're going to celebrate this moment
		
01:33:26 --> 01:33:27
			of seeing
		
01:33:28 --> 01:33:30
			the result from each and every one of
		
01:33:30 --> 01:33:32
			you. And inshallah, in the courses
		
01:33:33 --> 01:33:35
			where some of us did not do well,
		
01:33:35 --> 01:33:37
			we're going to cooperate inshallah to make sure
		
01:33:37 --> 01:33:38
			that the next time we get
		
01:33:39 --> 01:33:41
			good thing inshallah. So let's go and celebrate
		
01:33:41 --> 01:33:42
			this all of us. And then you go
		
01:33:42 --> 01:33:44
			with them. Don't show any differences. Hug all
		
01:33:44 --> 01:33:46
			of them. Kiss all of them. Smile and
		
01:33:46 --> 01:33:48
			praise them. You did a nice job. I
		
01:33:48 --> 01:33:50
			have been watching you guys, you know, trying
		
01:33:50 --> 01:33:51
			your best, you know.
		
01:33:52 --> 01:33:53
			Just say trying your best.
		
01:33:54 --> 01:33:55
			Don't say doing,
		
01:33:56 --> 01:33:57
			the right thing because some of them might
		
01:33:57 --> 01:33:59
			be so negligent, but trust me, if you
		
01:33:59 --> 01:34:01
			are to be lenient like this at this
		
01:34:01 --> 01:34:03
			moment, the next examination they
		
01:34:04 --> 01:34:06
			will be able to to do
		
01:34:06 --> 01:34:09
			well. So justice is supposed to be maintained
		
01:34:09 --> 01:34:12
			between the kids. You get it? No making
		
01:34:12 --> 01:34:13
			preference. The prophet
		
01:34:13 --> 01:34:16
			said in the way you want all of
		
01:34:16 --> 01:34:18
			them to love you, you should also equate
		
01:34:18 --> 01:34:20
			them when it comes to gift.
		
01:34:21 --> 01:34:23
			The next one, alhez. So I talk about.
		
01:34:24 --> 01:34:25
			The next one is alhez.
		
01:34:26 --> 01:34:27
			Alhez,
		
01:34:27 --> 01:34:31
			strong interest in doing the right thing, and
		
01:34:31 --> 01:34:33
			also this head should be attached to Dua
		
01:34:33 --> 01:34:34
			and
		
01:34:35 --> 01:34:37
			strong Mutaba, strong supervision
		
01:34:37 --> 01:34:38
			and follow-up.
		
01:34:39 --> 01:34:41
			You know, the life of the kids. And
		
01:34:41 --> 01:34:41
			Mulazama
		
01:34:42 --> 01:34:43
			being with the kids also.
		
01:34:43 --> 01:34:46
			Please take note on all of this. Dua
		
01:34:46 --> 01:34:47
			for the kids.
		
01:34:47 --> 01:34:49
			Not against the kid. Yeah.
		
01:34:51 --> 01:34:53
			Dua for the kids, not against the kid.
		
01:34:53 --> 01:34:55
			A good father, a good mother will never
		
01:34:56 --> 01:34:58
			open their mouth and ask Allah
		
01:34:58 --> 01:35:00
			to send evil to their children.
		
01:35:01 --> 01:35:03
			No matter how much bad they are.
		
01:35:04 --> 01:35:06
			You make du'a for them. Ask Allah
		
01:35:06 --> 01:35:08
			to guide them and to aid them and
		
01:35:08 --> 01:35:09
			to put them in the right way.
		
01:35:11 --> 01:35:11
			You remember
		
01:35:12 --> 01:35:12
			the story,
		
01:35:13 --> 01:35:15
			right? The mother made dua for him. Was
		
01:35:15 --> 01:35:16
			he affected by that dua?
		
01:35:17 --> 01:35:17
			Yes.
		
01:35:18 --> 01:35:19
			Exactly what she asked
		
01:35:20 --> 01:35:21
			for. It's the power of the dua of
		
01:35:21 --> 01:35:22
			the parent.
		
01:35:23 --> 01:35:24
			Against their kids.
		
01:35:24 --> 01:35:26
			You get it? So no matter how much
		
01:35:26 --> 01:35:28
			they upset you, do not open your mouth
		
01:35:28 --> 01:35:30
			and make dua against.
		
01:35:30 --> 01:35:32
			Always ask Allah
		
01:35:32 --> 01:35:34
			to show them the truth and to fix
		
01:35:34 --> 01:35:34
			them.
		
01:35:35 --> 01:35:37
			And also, al mutaba.
		
01:35:38 --> 01:35:39
			Taba means
		
01:35:39 --> 01:35:40
			follow-up.
		
01:35:40 --> 01:35:42
			Make sure that you know that this is
		
01:35:42 --> 01:35:43
			your responsibility,
		
01:35:43 --> 01:35:45
			and you follow-up with your child to know
		
01:35:45 --> 01:35:46
			what exactly they are doing.
		
01:35:47 --> 01:35:49
			And you have to be very careful. When
		
01:35:49 --> 01:35:51
			we talk about mutaba, walmulazama,
		
01:35:52 --> 01:35:54
			you shouldn't do it in the wrong way,
		
01:35:54 --> 01:35:56
			whereby the child feels that he's restricted. He
		
01:35:56 --> 01:35:58
			doesn't have freedom to do the right thing.
		
01:35:58 --> 01:36:00
			I have to do whatever they wanted to
		
01:36:00 --> 01:36:00
			do.
		
01:36:01 --> 01:36:03
			No. Your job is to supervise
		
01:36:04 --> 01:36:05
			and to make sure that they are doing
		
01:36:05 --> 01:36:07
			things in the right way. That's it.
		
01:36:09 --> 01:36:09
			In how
		
01:36:10 --> 01:36:11
			in a house,
		
01:36:12 --> 01:36:14
			freedom should be more than
		
01:36:14 --> 01:36:15
			more than restriction.
		
01:36:16 --> 01:36:19
			K? Freedom should be more than the restriction.
		
01:36:21 --> 01:36:22
			That's why they ask
		
01:36:23 --> 01:36:24
			the Aqil,
		
01:36:29 --> 01:36:30
			Who is the Aqil?
		
01:36:31 --> 01:36:31
			The smart
		
01:36:32 --> 01:36:34
			person. He says, Al Fatin Al Mutargabi.
		
01:36:36 --> 01:36:38
			This is a person who has aqal,
		
01:36:39 --> 01:36:40
			very serious
		
01:36:40 --> 01:36:42
			in whatever he does, but at the same
		
01:36:42 --> 01:36:43
			time, al Mutagafi.
		
01:36:44 --> 01:36:45
			What is Mutagafi?
		
01:36:45 --> 01:36:48
			Mutarafil. Somebody who overlooks a lot.
		
01:36:49 --> 01:36:50
			Yeah. Somebody who overlooks
		
01:36:51 --> 01:36:51
			a lot.
		
01:36:52 --> 01:36:53
			So you follow-up.
		
01:36:53 --> 01:36:56
			You know? But you overlook a lot. Let
		
01:36:56 --> 01:36:59
			the kids enjoy freedom in the house. In
		
01:36:59 --> 01:37:01
			some of these houses of ours,
		
01:37:02 --> 01:37:02
			subhanallah,
		
01:37:03 --> 01:37:05
			even how to eat food,
		
01:37:05 --> 01:37:08
			the mother controls. The father controls.
		
01:37:09 --> 01:37:11
			How to sit, how to do this. Yes,
		
01:37:11 --> 01:37:13
			we teach them the way the prophet was
		
01:37:14 --> 01:37:15
			teaching.
		
01:37:15 --> 01:37:18
			But trust me in some places is we
		
01:37:18 --> 01:37:19
			too much exaggerate.
		
01:37:21 --> 01:37:22
			We monitor.
		
01:37:23 --> 01:37:25
			No. There must be,
		
01:37:26 --> 01:37:26
			you know,
		
01:37:26 --> 01:37:27
			what do you call?
		
01:37:28 --> 01:37:29
			Sitting, you know,
		
01:37:30 --> 01:37:30
			between,
		
01:37:30 --> 01:37:32
			the family, you know, when it comes to
		
01:37:32 --> 01:37:34
			eat. That's why I suggest
		
01:37:34 --> 01:37:38
			no eating outside unless on the occasional basis.
		
01:37:39 --> 01:37:41
			I know nowadays, it's very difficult for us
		
01:37:41 --> 01:37:45
			to adopt this life. But question, when do
		
01:37:45 --> 01:37:46
			I have, when is the best time for
		
01:37:46 --> 01:37:47
			me to instill
		
01:37:48 --> 01:37:49
			values on my kids?
		
01:37:50 --> 01:37:52
			Trust me, during food time.
		
01:37:53 --> 01:37:55
			Because everyone is there and everyone's consciousness is
		
01:37:55 --> 01:37:55
			here.
		
01:37:56 --> 01:37:58
			That's the time for a joke.
		
01:37:58 --> 01:38:00
			You know, that's the time we jokes. That's
		
01:38:00 --> 01:38:02
			the time we play. That's the time we
		
01:38:02 --> 01:38:04
			laugh. You know, that's how it's supposed to
		
01:38:04 --> 01:38:05
			be. You know,
		
01:38:06 --> 01:38:08
			Food is there. And you are feeding the
		
01:38:08 --> 01:38:11
			food eating with virtues. In the best way.
		
01:38:11 --> 01:38:13
			Yeah. In the best way.
		
01:38:14 --> 01:38:16
			But subhanallah, the kids don't want to eat
		
01:38:16 --> 01:38:17
			with the parent.
		
01:38:18 --> 01:38:19
			You know why?
		
01:38:20 --> 01:38:21
			It's very simple.
		
01:38:21 --> 01:38:23
			Because my eyes is on my kids.
		
01:38:24 --> 01:38:26
			He touched this place I talk. Touch this
		
01:38:26 --> 01:38:28
			place I talk. Why do you eat this?
		
01:38:28 --> 01:38:30
			You're not eating slowly. You're eating very fast.
		
01:38:30 --> 01:38:31
			You're eating this.
		
01:38:32 --> 01:38:34
			The kid will be traumatized tomorrow. The next
		
01:38:34 --> 01:38:35
			time when I call him, you know, he
		
01:38:35 --> 01:38:37
			doesn't want. If he can find any alternative
		
01:38:37 --> 01:38:39
			outside, he will eat.
		
01:38:39 --> 01:38:40
			Why the child will tell me I don't
		
01:38:40 --> 01:38:42
			have interest in eating and he does not
		
01:38:42 --> 01:38:43
			eat anything?
		
01:38:43 --> 01:38:45
			Yeah. Because he knows that he's going to
		
01:38:45 --> 01:38:47
			get into into trouble when he sit with
		
01:38:47 --> 01:38:47
			us.
		
01:38:48 --> 01:38:51
			We can't keep quiet. We're too much focus
		
01:38:51 --> 01:38:52
			on what they are doing.
		
01:38:53 --> 01:38:55
			The best and the ideal way of eating
		
01:38:55 --> 01:38:56
			with the family
		
01:38:56 --> 01:38:57
			is that when you eat,
		
01:38:58 --> 01:38:59
			the mother should
		
01:38:59 --> 01:39:00
			focus on her food.
		
01:39:01 --> 01:39:04
			And the father should focus on his food.
		
01:39:04 --> 01:39:06
			What is between you and the children is
		
01:39:07 --> 01:39:07
			jokes.
		
01:39:07 --> 01:39:08
			Yeah.
		
01:39:09 --> 01:39:12
			Maybe sometimes when you see something wrong, just
		
01:39:12 --> 01:39:13
			make some jokes.
		
01:39:15 --> 01:39:17
			You get it? You get it? Yeah.
		
01:39:18 --> 01:39:20
			I personally what I did when we are
		
01:39:20 --> 01:39:21
			with the kids, when they do something which
		
01:39:21 --> 01:39:23
			is un Islamic, I bring one of these
		
01:39:23 --> 01:39:25
			losers among the worst kuffar.
		
01:39:26 --> 01:39:27
			I said, do you want to be like
		
01:39:27 --> 01:39:28
			this? They will smile and say, no. No.
		
01:39:28 --> 01:39:29
			No. We don't want to be like that.
		
01:39:29 --> 01:39:31
			They already understand what I meant. They quickly
		
01:39:31 --> 01:39:33
			fix it and come back to the correct
		
01:39:33 --> 01:39:33
			one.
		
01:39:33 --> 01:39:36
			Yeah. Rather than shouting, you know, scolding the
		
01:39:36 --> 01:39:36
			child,
		
01:39:37 --> 01:39:39
			getting angry, messing up his interest, but we
		
01:39:39 --> 01:39:41
			shouldn't do that. Trust me, my dear brother,
		
01:39:41 --> 01:39:44
			sister, there's a very good and excellent opportunity
		
01:39:44 --> 01:39:45
			we we have
		
01:39:46 --> 01:39:48
			as a family owner, as a father, as
		
01:39:48 --> 01:39:50
			a mother, to train our kids. But unfortunately,
		
01:39:50 --> 01:39:52
			it has been replaced by
		
01:39:53 --> 01:39:54
			by the junk food outside.
		
01:39:56 --> 01:39:58
			Yeah. We have no time to sit with
		
01:39:58 --> 01:40:00
			with the family, but this is really, really
		
01:40:00 --> 01:40:02
			important, to be fixed. That's why
		
01:40:03 --> 01:40:05
			the mother should be patient and cook at
		
01:40:05 --> 01:40:05
			home.
		
01:40:06 --> 01:40:09
			Yeah. If you happen to buy food outside,
		
01:40:10 --> 01:40:12
			get the food to the house and sit
		
01:40:12 --> 01:40:13
			all together and eat
		
01:40:14 --> 01:40:15
			rather than eating outside.
		
01:40:16 --> 01:40:18
			Because outside you will not be able to
		
01:40:18 --> 01:40:18
			educate.
		
01:40:19 --> 01:40:21
			You will not be able to enjoy that
		
01:40:21 --> 01:40:22
			meal in the way it should be done.
		
01:40:22 --> 01:40:24
			At home, nobody is there. You sit the
		
01:40:24 --> 01:40:25
			way you want, of course, according to the
		
01:40:25 --> 01:40:28
			sunnah. The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, you
		
01:40:28 --> 01:40:28
			educate,
		
01:40:29 --> 01:40:31
			you instill the manners and the virtues,
		
01:40:31 --> 01:40:33
			you know, to the child. The prophet told
		
01:40:35 --> 01:40:36
			he says,
		
01:40:39 --> 01:40:41
			Subhan Allah. He said Samuel, this is a
		
01:40:41 --> 01:40:42
			young boy. He said Samuel.
		
01:40:45 --> 01:40:47
			Wakunbi Aminik Okulmi Malik.
		
01:40:48 --> 01:40:49
			He said, save Ismila.
		
01:40:50 --> 01:40:52
			If my child is eating outside,
		
01:40:53 --> 01:40:54
			how do I know how is he eating
		
01:40:54 --> 01:40:56
			you? Is he eating correctly or not?
		
01:40:57 --> 01:40:59
			Again, but if we eat together at home,
		
01:40:59 --> 01:41:01
			I can see him not saying Bismillah. And
		
01:41:01 --> 01:41:03
			sometimes funny things happens, and these are good,
		
01:41:03 --> 01:41:05
			you know, Allah, I take them as very
		
01:41:05 --> 01:41:06
			good.
		
01:41:07 --> 01:41:09
			Because the boy or the girl
		
01:41:09 --> 01:41:10
			will just
		
01:41:10 --> 01:41:12
			after, you know,
		
01:41:12 --> 01:41:14
			a while, you know, people are eating and
		
01:41:14 --> 01:41:16
			then the boy will, one of them will
		
01:41:16 --> 01:41:18
			say, who did not say Bismillah?
		
01:41:19 --> 01:41:20
			And then the rest say, oh, Bismillah,
		
01:41:22 --> 01:41:25
			it's good because that's mean somebody is
		
01:41:26 --> 01:41:26
			conscious.
		
01:41:27 --> 01:41:29
			Do you get it? That moment will never
		
01:41:29 --> 01:41:29
			be forgotten.
		
01:41:30 --> 01:41:32
			They do the job on on your behalf.
		
01:41:32 --> 01:41:33
			So the prophet
		
01:41:33 --> 01:41:33
			told him
		
01:41:35 --> 01:41:37
			if he was eating outside, doesn't eat at
		
01:41:37 --> 01:41:40
			home. How how can the prophet knows how
		
01:41:40 --> 01:41:42
			this boy is eating food? He said mention
		
01:41:42 --> 01:41:43
			the name of Allah
		
01:41:44 --> 01:41:46
			and eat with your right hand. And eat
		
01:41:46 --> 01:41:48
			from that which is in front of you.
		
01:41:49 --> 01:41:49
			Values
		
01:41:50 --> 01:41:53
			given to a child at that younger age,
		
01:41:53 --> 01:41:56
			which many of us don't agree with, If
		
01:41:56 --> 01:41:58
			I'm to give my children this kind of
		
01:41:58 --> 01:42:00
			at this age, people will tell me, no,
		
01:42:00 --> 01:42:03
			this is exaggeration, restricting their freedom. But the
		
01:42:03 --> 01:42:06
			prophet was not was not like that. So
		
01:42:06 --> 01:42:06
			I follow-up.
		
01:42:07 --> 01:42:08
			I supervise
		
01:42:08 --> 01:42:10
			that I should do it with wisdom, with
		
01:42:10 --> 01:42:10
			love.
		
01:42:11 --> 01:42:14
			Friendly one. The one that will always bring
		
01:42:14 --> 01:42:15
			my child next to me.
		
01:42:15 --> 01:42:18
			Yeah? That's why don't put restriction on food.
		
01:42:19 --> 01:42:21
			Put restriction on the type of food the
		
01:42:21 --> 01:42:22
			child is eating.
		
01:42:23 --> 01:42:25
			And put restriction on the quantity of the
		
01:42:25 --> 01:42:27
			food the child is eating.
		
01:42:27 --> 01:42:30
			In some houses, whatever the boy touches,
		
01:42:32 --> 01:42:35
			the father will say, yes or no? No.
		
01:42:35 --> 01:42:38
			Whatever he touched, no. Everything, no.
		
01:42:38 --> 01:42:40
			So if he's not given a good terbia,
		
01:42:41 --> 01:42:43
			what is he going to be doing? Taking
		
01:42:43 --> 01:42:45
			the food in in secret.
		
01:42:45 --> 01:42:48
			You have people at home and they're the
		
01:42:48 --> 01:42:50
			only one in the house and something is
		
01:42:50 --> 01:42:50
			missing,
		
01:42:51 --> 01:42:53
			and you're asking people, who does that?
		
01:42:53 --> 01:42:55
			Nobody is saying, everyone is saying not me,
		
01:42:55 --> 01:42:57
			not me, not me, not me. So who
		
01:42:57 --> 01:42:58
			does it?
		
01:42:59 --> 01:43:01
			One of the 2 things. Either the parent
		
01:43:01 --> 01:43:03
			did it by themselves and they forgot or
		
01:43:03 --> 01:43:04
			we have
		
01:43:05 --> 01:43:07
			other partners living with us in the house.
		
01:43:07 --> 01:43:09
			Who are they? The hidden one, the share
		
01:43:09 --> 01:43:11
			team, they also come to take their portions.
		
01:43:13 --> 01:43:14
			And the question,
		
01:43:14 --> 01:43:16
			why is the child lying?
		
01:43:17 --> 01:43:19
			You get it? Now, what are they doing?
		
01:43:20 --> 01:43:21
			They are lying to us, right? Why are
		
01:43:21 --> 01:43:22
			they lying?
		
01:43:23 --> 01:43:24
			Why do you think they lie?
		
01:43:26 --> 01:43:29
			Because they are are afraid of being rejected
		
01:43:29 --> 01:43:30
			and punished.
		
01:43:31 --> 01:43:32
			That's why they lie.
		
01:43:33 --> 01:43:34
			Because they are afraid of being rejected
		
01:43:35 --> 01:43:37
			or being punished.
		
01:43:37 --> 01:43:38
			And this is one of the things we
		
01:43:38 --> 01:43:41
			learn from the terbiya of Muhammad sallallahu sallallahu.
		
01:43:50 --> 01:43:52
			You have no any other choice.
		
01:43:55 --> 01:43:57
			You have no any other choice except to
		
01:43:57 --> 01:43:58
			adopt the manhaji of Rasulullah
		
01:43:59 --> 01:43:59
			in Terbia.
		
01:44:00 --> 01:44:02
			No any other choice. You want to succeed
		
01:44:02 --> 01:44:03
			and his Talbia. You know the good thing
		
01:44:03 --> 01:44:04
			about the Talbia of Rasulullah?
		
01:44:05 --> 01:44:08
			It fits every time until the day of
		
01:44:08 --> 01:44:08
			judgement.
		
01:44:10 --> 01:44:12
			It fits every time until the day of
		
01:44:12 --> 01:44:13
			judgement.
		
01:44:15 --> 01:44:16
			Some parents, they live
		
01:44:17 --> 01:44:18
			with their children,
		
01:44:19 --> 01:44:20
			but their children are depressed.
		
01:44:21 --> 01:44:22
			Trust me by their,
		
01:44:23 --> 01:44:23
			friends.
		
01:44:24 --> 01:44:26
			Some of some of the parents, they live
		
01:44:26 --> 01:44:27
			with their kids. If you ask them, oh,
		
01:44:27 --> 01:44:29
			masha'Allah, my kids are happy and
		
01:44:30 --> 01:44:31
			or why they're not?
		
01:44:33 --> 01:44:34
			The kids are depressed
		
01:44:34 --> 01:44:36
			because of the too much pressure we have
		
01:44:36 --> 01:44:39
			in the house, and there is no room
		
01:44:39 --> 01:44:40
			for expression
		
01:44:40 --> 01:44:41
			expressing their own,
		
01:44:42 --> 01:44:43
			you know, feelings.
		
01:44:44 --> 01:44:46
			That's why my child cannot come and tell
		
01:44:46 --> 01:44:47
			me his problems.
		
01:44:48 --> 01:44:49
			Because he knows when he approach me, I'm
		
01:44:49 --> 01:44:51
			going to open a lecture for him.
		
01:44:52 --> 01:44:54
			School. How you do this? How would it
		
01:44:54 --> 01:44:57
			so they they share their secrets, you know,
		
01:44:57 --> 01:44:59
			and their difficulties with their friend, but not
		
01:44:59 --> 01:45:00
			with the parent.
		
01:45:00 --> 01:45:02
			And this is very dangerous.
		
01:45:03 --> 01:45:05
			Because friends will advise them according to
		
01:45:06 --> 01:45:07
			whatever
		
01:45:07 --> 01:45:09
			they believe in a suit them in the
		
01:45:09 --> 01:45:11
			right, wrong way, no problem. But you as
		
01:45:11 --> 01:45:14
			a father, you should always advise him according
		
01:45:14 --> 01:45:15
			to what benefits him. But
		
01:45:16 --> 01:45:18
			you already have that barrier between you and
		
01:45:18 --> 01:45:19
			and him. They don't want to come to
		
01:45:19 --> 01:45:20
			you.
		
01:45:20 --> 01:45:22
			Why? Because they know when they come to
		
01:45:22 --> 01:45:25
			you, you have nothing except blame and Moaheed.
		
01:45:26 --> 01:45:29
			Nobody will appreciate this. Nobody will be happy
		
01:45:29 --> 01:45:30
			with this. So was
		
01:45:31 --> 01:45:32
			not like that.
		
01:45:32 --> 01:45:33
			You know, children when they come to the
		
01:45:33 --> 01:45:34
			prophet
		
01:45:34 --> 01:45:37
			those in his house, they have an absolute
		
01:45:37 --> 01:45:37
			freedom.
		
01:45:38 --> 01:45:39
			Anas ibn Malik said,
		
01:45:40 --> 01:45:42
			he never told me why.
		
01:45:42 --> 01:45:45
			Can you imagine a terbir like this? Rasulullah
		
01:45:45 --> 01:45:47
			never told him why did he do this?
		
01:45:47 --> 01:45:49
			Or why didn't he do this?
		
01:45:52 --> 01:45:54
			Then who is blaming others at home?
		
01:45:56 --> 01:45:58
			The sisters at home, right? The wives.
		
01:45:59 --> 01:46:01
			So when Alice did something wrong,
		
01:46:02 --> 01:46:02
			the
		
01:46:04 --> 01:46:06
			the the sisters at home, the wives will
		
01:46:07 --> 01:46:08
			be shouting at them.
		
01:46:09 --> 01:46:11
			As usual. The prophet
		
01:46:11 --> 01:46:12
			if he is there,
		
01:46:12 --> 01:46:15
			what he usually tell them, why? Why the
		
01:46:15 --> 01:46:15
			blame?
		
01:46:18 --> 01:46:18
			Allah.
		
01:46:19 --> 01:46:21
			He says whatever Allah swore to decree it
		
01:46:21 --> 01:46:22
			is exactly what happened.
		
01:46:24 --> 01:46:25
			Subhan Allah.
		
01:46:27 --> 01:46:29
			You know, if I teach my son this,
		
01:46:29 --> 01:46:32
			teach my daughter this, you know, all that
		
01:46:32 --> 01:46:34
			you need from them is to feel that
		
01:46:34 --> 01:46:36
			they're wrong in what they're doing.
		
01:46:38 --> 01:46:40
			You are done. You don't need to shout.
		
01:46:40 --> 01:46:41
			You don't need to do anything.
		
01:46:44 --> 01:46:45
			Somebody at home today
		
01:46:46 --> 01:46:47
			have a small table.
		
01:46:47 --> 01:46:49
			Just like that, they decided to climb on
		
01:46:49 --> 01:46:50
			it
		
01:46:50 --> 01:46:52
			and fellas it get destroyed.
		
01:46:54 --> 01:46:55
			So I told them,
		
01:46:56 --> 01:46:58
			oh, now you destroy the thing.
		
01:46:59 --> 01:47:01
			I'm very sorry. Are you angry? I said
		
01:47:01 --> 01:47:03
			no. But the owner of the table is
		
01:47:03 --> 01:47:04
			the mother. I was scared, actually.
		
01:47:05 --> 01:47:06
			She goes she's
		
01:47:07 --> 01:47:09
			gone. The gibi is called it, but alhamdulillah,
		
01:47:09 --> 01:47:10
			they did the right thing.
		
01:47:10 --> 01:47:12
			They told them it's okay. They come back
		
01:47:12 --> 01:47:14
			to me, okay. Alhamdulillah, they forgive.
		
01:47:14 --> 01:47:15
			Yeah. The case closed.
		
01:47:16 --> 01:47:18
			Do you understand that this is wrong? Yes.
		
01:47:18 --> 01:47:20
			And then we close the page. You Allah,
		
01:47:20 --> 01:47:22
			this is what we learn from the prophet
		
01:47:23 --> 01:47:25
			I don't expect them to do the same
		
01:47:25 --> 01:47:27
			mistake in the future. This is my personal
		
01:47:27 --> 01:47:28
			experience.
		
01:47:28 --> 01:47:30
			When you forgive in this way, you close
		
01:47:30 --> 01:47:32
			the page and come and cooperate with the
		
01:47:32 --> 01:47:34
			child to fix that mess which they did
		
01:47:34 --> 01:47:35
			by themselves
		
01:47:35 --> 01:47:38
			and told them this is being irresponsible.
		
01:47:39 --> 01:47:41
			But try to be smart. And laugh
		
01:47:41 --> 01:47:43
			and smile to them and don't show angry
		
01:47:43 --> 01:47:46
			face. And don't change your behavior.
		
01:47:47 --> 01:47:49
			What is going on in the house, don't
		
01:47:49 --> 01:47:51
			change it because of this attitude.
		
01:47:51 --> 01:47:54
			Trust me, they will always speak the truth
		
01:47:54 --> 01:47:55
			when they meet you.
		
01:47:56 --> 01:47:58
			That's why the scholars of Telbia said, your
		
01:47:58 --> 01:48:00
			child is lying to you because he's afraid
		
01:48:00 --> 01:48:01
			of being punished.
		
01:48:02 --> 01:48:04
			But if he has the peace,
		
01:48:04 --> 01:48:05
			that you are not going to punish him.
		
01:48:06 --> 01:48:08
			Trust me, they tell you things which you
		
01:48:08 --> 01:48:10
			are not there, they happen in your absence.
		
01:48:11 --> 01:48:12
			And you don't look for it, but they
		
01:48:12 --> 01:48:14
			tell you, and they will apologize to you.
		
01:48:15 --> 01:48:16
			That's what
		
01:48:16 --> 01:48:19
			my experience led me to to see in
		
01:48:19 --> 01:48:20
			giving terabirah to the family. And this is
		
01:48:20 --> 01:48:22
			what we learn from Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa
		
01:48:22 --> 01:48:24
			sallam. And I said, Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa
		
01:48:24 --> 01:48:25
			sallam never told me why.
		
01:48:26 --> 01:48:28
			If somebody blamed me, he will tell them,
		
01:48:28 --> 01:48:30
			this is qadr of Allah subhanahu wa sallam.
		
01:48:30 --> 01:48:32
			But at the same time don't forget, Rasulullah
		
01:48:32 --> 01:48:35
			Sallalla Sallam does not tolerate mistake without
		
01:48:35 --> 01:48:36
			correction.
		
01:48:36 --> 01:48:39
			He will correct it in the good way.
		
01:48:39 --> 01:48:41
			Right? If you see him correcting the bedwins,
		
01:48:42 --> 01:48:44
			then you will understand what kind of correction
		
01:48:44 --> 01:48:46
			and a method the prophet will be taking
		
01:48:47 --> 01:48:49
			in the family, right? Somebody came who is
		
01:48:49 --> 01:48:51
			a stranger and did something wrong, very bad
		
01:48:51 --> 01:48:54
			thing, but the prophet addressed the matter in
		
01:48:54 --> 01:48:56
			a very unique way. So you can understand
		
01:48:56 --> 01:48:58
			the kids at home who are innocent.
		
01:48:58 --> 01:49:00
			But this is part of their life, to
		
01:49:00 --> 01:49:01
			do experiments.
		
01:49:02 --> 01:49:04
			You know, sometimes intentionally the child will come
		
01:49:05 --> 01:49:06
			on, destroy something.
		
01:49:06 --> 01:49:07
			He's doing experiment
		
01:49:08 --> 01:49:09
			to see what will happen.
		
01:49:10 --> 01:49:12
			If he's called him, you're losing the child.
		
01:49:12 --> 01:49:15
			So the best is to let them come
		
01:49:15 --> 01:49:17
			closer and to become friend of you to
		
01:49:17 --> 01:49:21
			avoid them lying to you in in the
		
01:49:21 --> 01:49:23
			future. Yeah. If you're leaning to yourself to
		
01:49:23 --> 01:49:25
			your gentle, somebody who
		
01:49:26 --> 01:49:29
			is accommodating others. Others here are referring to
		
01:49:29 --> 01:49:31
			your kids. Be eating like the other. They
		
01:49:31 --> 01:49:32
			will not lie to you.
		
01:49:33 --> 01:49:35
			The next quality is Alhazm. I think Alhazm
		
01:49:36 --> 01:49:37
			we have already discusses.
		
01:49:37 --> 01:49:40
			You know, being serious serious in in your
		
01:49:40 --> 01:49:41
			term here.
		
01:49:41 --> 01:49:43
			When we say being serious, it's not to
		
01:49:43 --> 01:49:45
			be acting as a monster.
		
01:49:45 --> 01:49:47
			That's why I suggest
		
01:49:47 --> 01:49:51
			try your best to avoid hitting a child.
		
01:49:52 --> 01:49:53
			Yeah.
		
01:49:54 --> 01:49:55
			And don't you ever say
		
01:49:56 --> 01:49:56
			that,
		
01:49:57 --> 01:49:59
			oh, our parent beat us, you know.
		
01:50:00 --> 01:50:02
			Yeah. Why can't we do the same thing?
		
01:50:02 --> 01:50:02
			No.
		
01:50:04 --> 01:50:05
			That just happened
		
01:50:05 --> 01:50:06
			in in Alhamdulillah.
		
01:50:08 --> 01:50:08
			Alhamdulillah.
		
01:50:09 --> 01:50:10
			It works.
		
01:50:10 --> 01:50:13
			In its own way. Okay? I don't call
		
01:50:13 --> 01:50:14
			it a failure and I don't call it
		
01:50:14 --> 01:50:16
			a success. But it works.
		
01:50:16 --> 01:50:18
			In the past, the kind of turbia we
		
01:50:18 --> 01:50:20
			received, it doesn't fit our children at
		
01:50:21 --> 01:50:24
			all. Yeah. Why? Because in that environment, everyone
		
01:50:24 --> 01:50:25
			is like that.
		
01:50:26 --> 01:50:26
			You get
		
01:50:27 --> 01:50:29
			it? Your mother beats you, your father beats
		
01:50:29 --> 01:50:30
			you, when you go
		
01:50:31 --> 01:50:33
			when, when, when you go out, your friends
		
01:50:33 --> 01:50:36
			also, the same thing. Nobody is discussing this
		
01:50:36 --> 01:50:36
			matter.
		
01:50:37 --> 01:50:38
			Because everyone is on the same page.
		
01:50:39 --> 01:50:41
			Yeah, so you are not afraid of your
		
01:50:41 --> 01:50:44
			child getting any negative influences by the friends
		
01:50:44 --> 01:50:47
			because of you touching him. That was in
		
01:50:47 --> 01:50:50
			the in the past. Nowadays, is it like
		
01:50:50 --> 01:50:51
			that? No, it's not.
		
01:50:52 --> 01:50:54
			The kind of environment, the kind of life
		
01:50:54 --> 01:50:56
			we are living, it changed.
		
01:50:57 --> 01:50:58
			That terbia was strong.
		
01:51:00 --> 01:51:02
			Alhamdulillah Allah saved many of us. But that
		
01:51:02 --> 01:51:04
			terbia was wrong. You are not supposed to
		
01:51:04 --> 01:51:05
			repeat this.
		
01:51:05 --> 01:51:07
			I'm saying this because
		
01:51:07 --> 01:51:10
			many of us are repeating the terbia of
		
01:51:10 --> 01:51:10
			their parent.
		
01:51:11 --> 01:51:13
			Which they nowadays, if they look at it,
		
01:51:13 --> 01:51:15
			they consider it as a failure.
		
01:51:17 --> 01:51:17
			As a failure
		
01:51:18 --> 01:51:21
			I was listening to a lecture on Terbia
		
01:51:22 --> 01:51:25
			very good lecture by one of these
		
01:51:26 --> 01:51:28
			scholars who are very concerned of
		
01:51:28 --> 01:51:29
			this matter.
		
01:51:30 --> 01:51:32
			He was saying that a person came to
		
01:51:32 --> 01:51:33
			him one day,
		
01:51:35 --> 01:51:36
			He's a karate
		
01:51:39 --> 01:51:39
			trader.
		
01:51:40 --> 01:51:40
			Yeah.
		
01:51:40 --> 01:51:42
			You know, these these people, their their life
		
01:51:42 --> 01:51:45
			is very rough, you know. You see, this
		
01:51:45 --> 01:51:46
			person when he's,
		
01:51:46 --> 01:51:47
			in
		
01:51:47 --> 01:51:49
			smack, don't touch your face, but when he
		
01:51:49 --> 01:51:51
			move his hand like this,
		
01:51:51 --> 01:51:53
			okay, this is just the Sheikh mentioned in
		
01:51:53 --> 01:51:55
			his own expression. He said you you feel
		
01:51:55 --> 01:51:56
			that the air is going to
		
01:51:57 --> 01:51:59
			kick you down, you know.
		
01:51:59 --> 01:52:01
			And he says the person is really really
		
01:52:01 --> 01:52:02
			built up.
		
01:52:03 --> 01:52:05
			So he told, he said
		
01:52:06 --> 01:52:08
			the the man told me Sheikh. Yeah.
		
01:52:09 --> 01:52:10
			The Sheikh is psychologist.
		
01:52:12 --> 01:52:12
			The good one.
		
01:52:13 --> 01:52:14
			So
		
01:52:15 --> 01:52:16
			why are you
		
01:52:16 --> 01:52:16
			laughing?
		
01:52:17 --> 01:52:18
			So so he
		
01:52:19 --> 01:52:19
			he
		
01:52:20 --> 01:52:22
			he said this man told me, he said,
		
01:52:22 --> 01:52:23
			Sheikh, I need your advice.
		
01:52:25 --> 01:52:27
			I asked him, what is your problem? He
		
01:52:27 --> 01:52:28
			said, my children,
		
01:52:32 --> 01:52:33
			He said my children, they are from the
		
01:52:33 --> 01:52:34
			descendants of Shati.
		
01:52:35 --> 01:52:37
			He said, I said, what? What do you
		
01:52:37 --> 01:52:39
			mean? They are the children of Shati? Because
		
01:52:39 --> 01:52:41
			if this is true, who is he?
		
01:52:43 --> 01:52:45
			Right? Because if they are his children, he
		
01:52:45 --> 01:52:47
			said, my kids, they are descendants from this.
		
01:52:48 --> 01:52:49
			He said, I told him,
		
01:52:50 --> 01:52:52
			why do you call them descendants of Shelton?
		
01:52:53 --> 01:52:55
			He said, Sheikh, don't rush. Let me tell
		
01:52:55 --> 01:52:56
			you who they are. He said, yeah, Sheikh,
		
01:52:56 --> 01:52:58
			trust me. In my house, I don't have
		
01:52:58 --> 01:52:59
			curtains in the house.
		
01:53:01 --> 01:53:03
			I want, you know, think of putting, I
		
01:53:03 --> 01:53:05
			put, the, the, the curtain did not spend
		
01:53:05 --> 01:53:06
			a day.
		
01:53:06 --> 01:53:08
			They brought them down.
		
01:53:08 --> 01:53:10
			He said we sleep on a metal, no
		
01:53:10 --> 01:53:10
			mattresses.
		
01:53:11 --> 01:53:13
			They destroy them. Our chairs, the couches, they
		
01:53:13 --> 01:53:15
			don't have things like this. They have to
		
01:53:15 --> 01:53:18
			bring a metal chair to sit. That's the
		
01:53:18 --> 01:53:20
			only thing that works. He said yes Sheikh,
		
01:53:20 --> 01:53:21
			if
		
01:53:22 --> 01:53:23
			I keep them at home when I come,
		
01:53:23 --> 01:53:25
			I will come and see them, they fought
		
01:53:25 --> 01:53:27
			each other, scratch themselves, you know.
		
01:53:28 --> 01:53:29
			He said, yeah, Sheikh, the only thing I
		
01:53:29 --> 01:53:31
			have is to send them out. Maybe they
		
01:53:31 --> 01:53:33
			mix with other people.
		
01:53:33 --> 01:53:35
			He said whenever they see a child, they
		
01:53:35 --> 01:53:36
			beat that child.
		
01:53:37 --> 01:53:39
			If they couldn't find a child, whatever car
		
01:53:39 --> 01:53:41
			passes through them, they throw stone on on
		
01:53:41 --> 01:53:43
			the child. They spit on the people who
		
01:53:43 --> 01:53:45
			are who are passing. He said I remember
		
01:53:45 --> 01:53:47
			one day I took them to the house
		
01:53:47 --> 01:53:48
			of the neighbors.
		
01:53:48 --> 01:53:50
			He said I I I asked some to
		
01:53:50 --> 01:53:53
			be law that I will never take them
		
01:53:53 --> 01:53:55
			to any house. They broke things in that
		
01:53:55 --> 01:53:57
			house. They removed the curtains. They removed everything.
		
01:53:57 --> 01:53:58
			They want his house also to be like
		
01:53:58 --> 01:54:01
			ours. Right? And they come and see me
		
01:54:01 --> 01:54:03
			talking to the the host.
		
01:54:03 --> 01:54:05
			They couldn't see anything to do to the
		
01:54:05 --> 01:54:07
			to the host. They look at the jug,
		
01:54:07 --> 01:54:09
			the jug of the juice, they took it
		
01:54:09 --> 01:54:11
			and broke it on his head.
		
01:54:13 --> 01:54:13
			He said,
		
01:54:14 --> 01:54:16
			the sheikh said, I started to think, yeah,
		
01:54:18 --> 01:54:20
			definitely, yeah, not immensely shutting, but
		
01:54:21 --> 01:54:23
			something wrong is taking place. So then he
		
01:54:23 --> 01:54:24
			said I asked
		
01:54:25 --> 01:54:26
			I asked him.
		
01:54:27 --> 01:54:28
			I said do you
		
01:54:29 --> 01:54:31
			discipline them when they do something wrong? He
		
01:54:31 --> 01:54:32
			said, yes.
		
01:54:33 --> 01:54:35
			I did, I I do my Sheikh. He
		
01:54:35 --> 01:54:37
			said, what do you do? He said, I
		
01:54:37 --> 01:54:38
			beat them a little.
		
01:54:39 --> 01:54:41
			Sheikh said, Ola, when he says little, I
		
01:54:41 --> 01:54:43
			thought he's slapping them because his
		
01:54:43 --> 01:54:45
			smoking is more than enough for me, not
		
01:54:45 --> 01:54:46
			the kids.
		
01:54:46 --> 01:54:48
			He said, no, I, I, I hit them
		
01:54:48 --> 01:54:49
			a little.
		
01:54:50 --> 01:54:51
			So he said, what do you, how do
		
01:54:51 --> 01:54:52
			you, how do you please explain to me,
		
01:54:52 --> 01:54:54
			how do you do? He said,
		
01:54:54 --> 01:54:57
			I just beat them with, silky biology. You
		
01:54:57 --> 01:55:00
			know, the the clusters met the the wire
		
01:55:00 --> 01:55:00
			that we
		
01:55:01 --> 01:55:04
			there's one small tiny wire, a bit thick,
		
01:55:04 --> 01:55:07
			very painful when somebody hit you with it.
		
01:55:07 --> 01:55:08
			He said, this is what I hit them
		
01:55:08 --> 01:55:10
			with when they make a mistake. This is
		
01:55:10 --> 01:55:11
			what he called,
		
01:55:11 --> 01:55:13
			I just hit them a little.
		
01:55:14 --> 01:55:16
			So the sheikh said, you beat them with
		
01:55:16 --> 01:55:17
			this and you call your house the house
		
01:55:17 --> 01:55:18
			of Tervia.
		
01:55:19 --> 01:55:21
			He said, no, yeah, Sheikh. Actually, I I
		
01:55:21 --> 01:55:23
			was calling it a little because our father
		
01:55:24 --> 01:55:26
			doesn't do this, he goes beyond that. When
		
01:55:26 --> 01:55:27
			we did something wrong,
		
01:55:28 --> 01:55:30
			he will take off our cloth and hang
		
01:55:30 --> 01:55:31
			us upside down
		
01:55:32 --> 01:55:32
			on something.
		
01:55:33 --> 01:55:35
			Yeah. He says, and then he will come
		
01:55:35 --> 01:55:37
			with the stick, whatever, and beat us like
		
01:55:37 --> 01:55:38
			this. The leg is up and we are
		
01:55:38 --> 01:55:40
			like that. It's just like what you do
		
01:55:40 --> 01:55:41
			with the sheep when you
		
01:55:43 --> 01:55:46
			So, the sheikh asked him, this is the
		
01:55:46 --> 01:55:47
			the end of this story.
		
01:55:48 --> 01:55:50
			And also inshallah you understand why I brought
		
01:55:50 --> 01:55:51
			it.
		
01:55:51 --> 01:55:52
			He said I asked
		
01:55:53 --> 01:55:55
			him, how many siblings do you have? He
		
01:55:55 --> 01:55:56
			said 3.
		
01:55:56 --> 01:55:57
			We are 4 altogether.
		
01:55:58 --> 01:56:00
			He said, let me
		
01:56:01 --> 01:56:02
			just assume
		
01:56:02 --> 01:56:05
			that your father is writing an examination and
		
01:56:05 --> 01:56:06
			he has 4 questions.
		
01:56:07 --> 01:56:09
			Right? He said, you guys have 4. He
		
01:56:09 --> 01:56:11
			said if you don't mind, please tell me
		
01:56:11 --> 01:56:14
			the nature of your siblings. Who are they?
		
01:56:15 --> 01:56:17
			He says Sheikh, just because you asked me
		
01:56:17 --> 01:56:18
			to speak the truth,
		
01:56:19 --> 01:56:21
			there's the only reason why I will not
		
01:56:21 --> 01:56:22
			lie.
		
01:56:23 --> 01:56:23
			And he said,
		
01:56:24 --> 01:56:25
			the first one Sheikh,
		
01:56:25 --> 01:56:28
			he is busy with gambling. His life is
		
01:56:28 --> 01:56:29
			all about gambling.
		
01:56:29 --> 01:56:32
			And the the first one is dealing with
		
01:56:32 --> 01:56:32
			homosexuality.
		
01:56:34 --> 01:56:36
			And the third one is,
		
01:56:39 --> 01:56:41
			drugs and wine and this.
		
01:56:42 --> 01:56:45
			He says, Sheikh, I'm the only one that
		
01:56:45 --> 01:56:45
			is like this.
		
01:56:46 --> 01:56:48
			So, Sheikh said, let
		
01:56:49 --> 01:56:50
			me assume
		
01:56:50 --> 01:56:52
			that you, your is okay. You know, I
		
01:56:52 --> 01:56:54
			will, I, not happy with this terbia that
		
01:56:54 --> 01:56:56
			you have, but let me assume that you
		
01:56:56 --> 01:56:56
			are okay.
		
01:56:58 --> 01:56:59
			What grade
		
01:57:00 --> 01:57:01
			are you going to
		
01:57:02 --> 01:57:04
			give the father after the examination?
		
01:57:04 --> 01:57:05
			How much you got?
		
01:57:06 --> 01:57:07
			Out of 100.
		
01:57:07 --> 01:57:10
			Four questions, every each question has 25. How
		
01:57:10 --> 01:57:11
			much you got?
		
01:57:11 --> 01:57:12
			25.
		
01:57:12 --> 01:57:14
			I think in every
		
01:57:14 --> 01:57:16
			university and school this is?
		
01:57:17 --> 01:57:17
			F.
		
01:57:19 --> 01:57:19
			Yeah.
		
01:57:20 --> 01:57:22
			And here comes the importance of this simple
		
01:57:22 --> 01:57:23
			story.
		
01:57:23 --> 01:57:25
			He said he said, my brother,
		
01:57:26 --> 01:57:28
			you believe that your father failed in his
		
01:57:28 --> 01:57:29
			terbia.
		
01:57:30 --> 01:57:32
			Why are you repeating the same thing your
		
01:57:32 --> 01:57:33
			father did
		
01:57:33 --> 01:57:34
			when he was giving
		
01:57:35 --> 01:57:36
			the to you guys, which you believe it
		
01:57:36 --> 01:57:38
			is wrong, and you're repeating the same thing.
		
01:57:38 --> 01:57:40
			And you want your kids to,
		
01:57:41 --> 01:57:42
			to be okay.
		
01:57:43 --> 01:57:44
			That's the reason why I said,
		
01:57:45 --> 01:57:45
			you can't
		
01:57:46 --> 01:57:49
			imitate your parent if the method used by
		
01:57:49 --> 01:57:50
			the parent is is wrong.
		
01:57:51 --> 01:57:54
			That's the reason why I advise every one
		
01:57:54 --> 01:57:55
			of you, the father and the mother,
		
01:57:55 --> 01:57:57
			do not hit your child.
		
01:57:58 --> 01:58:00
			Unless if it is very necessary.
		
01:58:00 --> 01:58:03
			Very necessary. And trust me my dear brothers
		
01:58:03 --> 01:58:05
			and sisters, if you're doing things correctly in
		
01:58:05 --> 01:58:06
			the way Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi wa sama used
		
01:58:06 --> 01:58:08
			to do them, tarbia would help they call
		
01:58:08 --> 01:58:11
			it. You know, friendly terbia. Even
		
01:58:12 --> 01:58:14
			you will never need to raise up your
		
01:58:14 --> 01:58:16
			hand against your child.
		
01:58:17 --> 01:58:19
			Trust me my Deborah and sisters, it is
		
01:58:19 --> 01:58:21
			not cool. Sometimes we beat them until the
		
01:58:21 --> 01:58:23
			time we are satisfied. It's like you are
		
01:58:23 --> 01:58:24
			taking revenge.
		
01:58:24 --> 01:58:27
			Wallahi, this is a very shameful thing to
		
01:58:27 --> 01:58:28
			be done with our kids.
		
01:58:29 --> 01:58:31
			Why would you take revenge revenge against your
		
01:58:31 --> 01:58:32
			child?
		
01:58:32 --> 01:58:33
			Why?
		
01:58:33 --> 01:58:33
			Why?
		
01:58:34 --> 01:58:36
			You will love. This is lack of thinking.
		
01:58:36 --> 01:58:39
			Lack of proper thinking for me to beat
		
01:58:39 --> 01:58:40
			my child.
		
01:58:40 --> 01:58:42
			Just because I want to teach him a
		
01:58:42 --> 01:58:44
			lesson. No. You don't need this lesson to
		
01:58:44 --> 01:58:44
			be
		
01:58:46 --> 01:58:47
			taught. That's why if you do the right
		
01:58:47 --> 01:58:49
			thing, you do your job, you handle your
		
01:58:49 --> 01:58:50
			responsibility
		
01:58:50 --> 01:58:53
			correctly, you will never reach this situation. Although
		
01:58:53 --> 01:58:54
			beaten,
		
01:58:55 --> 01:58:57
			moderately is halal when there is a need
		
01:58:57 --> 01:58:58
			for that.
		
01:58:59 --> 01:59:01
			That's why the prophet said in your house,
		
01:59:01 --> 01:59:02
			you should have what?
		
01:59:03 --> 01:59:05
			A stick whip that you hang on on
		
01:59:05 --> 01:59:06
			the wall.
		
01:59:07 --> 01:59:09
			You don't beat, but the stick is there.
		
01:59:10 --> 01:59:12
			What is the purpose of having this stick?
		
01:59:12 --> 01:59:14
			This is just acting like a policeman.
		
01:59:15 --> 01:59:17
			You know, people who are not disciplined when
		
01:59:17 --> 01:59:18
			they see the police,
		
01:59:18 --> 01:59:20
			the one who is wearing the belt will
		
01:59:20 --> 01:59:21
			quickly wear the belt, and the one who
		
01:59:21 --> 01:59:23
			is not sitting properly will sit properly, the
		
01:59:23 --> 01:59:25
			criminal will try to change his position. Yeah.
		
01:59:25 --> 01:59:28
			Whether the police is good or bad, the
		
01:59:28 --> 01:59:30
			existence of those ones, you know, is a
		
01:59:30 --> 01:59:31
			deterrent. The prophet
		
01:59:32 --> 01:59:33
			said have 1.
		
01:59:33 --> 01:59:35
			You avoid using it but it is there.
		
01:59:35 --> 01:59:37
			To give a signal to the kids that
		
01:59:37 --> 01:59:39
			the father might beat.
		
01:59:40 --> 01:59:42
			So it hasn't been necessary in terbia, but
		
01:59:42 --> 01:59:45
			hasn't doesn't mean you should become a monster
		
01:59:45 --> 01:59:47
			or very harsh and strict to the child.
		
01:59:48 --> 01:59:49
			The power says
		
01:59:50 --> 01:59:51
			digital.
		
01:59:55 --> 01:59:57
			If you're Hazim, you are serious in your
		
01:59:57 --> 01:59:58
			talbia,
		
01:59:58 --> 02:00:00
			you should also have this
		
02:00:01 --> 02:00:03
			seriousness in giving terribia to your family
		
02:00:03 --> 02:00:04
			sometimes.
		
02:00:05 --> 02:00:06
			That's why there has to be red lines
		
02:00:06 --> 02:00:08
			that cannot be crossed in the in the
		
02:00:08 --> 02:00:09
			house.
		
02:00:09 --> 02:00:10
			90%
		
02:00:11 --> 02:00:13
			of your life with your children is freedom.
		
02:00:14 --> 02:00:16
			There must be red lines, and those red
		
02:00:16 --> 02:00:18
			lines are the the matters that are related
		
02:00:18 --> 02:00:18
			to Sharia.
		
02:00:20 --> 02:00:22
			The kids will not mind because you already
		
02:00:22 --> 02:00:24
			taught them how important it is to have
		
02:00:24 --> 02:00:25
			Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
02:00:25 --> 02:00:26
			in in their mind.
		
02:00:27 --> 02:00:29
			You've already taught them who is Allah. They
		
02:00:29 --> 02:00:30
			already know that the right of Allah subhanahu
		
02:00:30 --> 02:00:32
			wa ta'ala cannot be violated. So you focus
		
02:00:32 --> 02:00:33
			on those ones.
		
02:00:33 --> 02:00:35
			And trust me, if those ones are being
		
02:00:35 --> 02:00:36
			preserved correctly,
		
02:00:37 --> 02:00:39
			the negligence in other matters will be will
		
02:00:39 --> 02:00:41
			be lesser. That's why Omar said,
		
02:00:42 --> 02:00:44
			he says the best,
		
02:00:45 --> 02:00:45
			the best
		
02:00:46 --> 02:00:48
			act of worship you have is the, is
		
02:00:48 --> 02:00:49
			a prayer.
		
02:00:50 --> 02:00:51
			He says man
		
02:00:52 --> 02:00:53
			for who? For man
		
02:00:55 --> 02:00:57
			whoever preserved the prayer will preserve his religion.
		
02:00:57 --> 02:00:58
			And whoever
		
02:00:59 --> 02:01:00
			neglects the prayer,
		
02:01:00 --> 02:01:03
			you will never find him being serious on
		
02:01:03 --> 02:01:03
			other matters.
		
02:01:04 --> 02:01:06
			That's why I said, if you neglect this
		
02:01:06 --> 02:01:08
			Janibul Akida in your house, in your kids,
		
02:01:09 --> 02:01:11
			for sure they will also be negligent on
		
02:01:11 --> 02:01:15
			on other matters. So please understand this correctly.
		
02:01:15 --> 02:01:17
			Last time I quoted for you the story
		
02:01:17 --> 02:01:17
			of
		
02:01:18 --> 02:01:19
			that sister whom
		
02:01:21 --> 02:01:23
			was narrating her story too. The prophet
		
02:01:23 --> 02:01:26
			you remember that story? Hadith Umi Zara.
		
02:01:27 --> 02:01:29
			Is Aisha was narrating a story to to
		
02:01:29 --> 02:01:30
			the prophet
		
02:01:31 --> 02:01:31
			about 11
		
02:01:32 --> 02:01:34
			sisters who sat down in the Jahilia.
		
02:01:35 --> 02:01:37
			Yeah. And they are talking about their husbands.
		
02:01:37 --> 02:01:39
			Each one of them promised not to hide
		
02:01:39 --> 02:01:41
			anything about her husband.
		
02:01:42 --> 02:01:42
			And
		
02:01:43 --> 02:01:43
			most
		
02:01:44 --> 02:01:45
			don't talk good
		
02:01:46 --> 02:01:47
			about their husbands.
		
02:01:48 --> 02:01:50
			Is it a good message to us?
		
02:01:51 --> 02:01:51
			Sir?
		
02:01:52 --> 02:01:53
			It is.
		
02:01:54 --> 02:01:55
			Yeah. Because
		
02:01:55 --> 02:01:57
			you know I'm telling you the truth.
		
02:01:57 --> 02:01:59
			Most of the sisters, if they are asked
		
02:01:59 --> 02:02:01
			to talk about their husbands, what kind of
		
02:02:01 --> 02:02:03
			comment do you think they will be giving?
		
02:02:05 --> 02:02:06
			He's the best.
		
02:02:08 --> 02:02:10
			If her name is going to be disguised,
		
02:02:10 --> 02:02:12
			nobody will know who she is. You will
		
02:02:12 --> 02:02:14
			hear a lot a lot a lot, you
		
02:02:14 --> 02:02:15
			know.
		
02:02:16 --> 02:02:17
			Very rough life.
		
02:02:17 --> 02:02:20
			Yeah. Very rough life between us and and
		
02:02:20 --> 02:02:23
			our family members. You know, life of slavery
		
02:02:23 --> 02:02:23
			sometimes.
		
02:02:24 --> 02:02:26
			Yeah. I have no time for her. She
		
02:02:26 --> 02:02:27
			has no time for me.
		
02:02:28 --> 02:02:30
			And the problem comes from the brother's side
		
02:02:30 --> 02:02:32
			more than the sister's
		
02:02:33 --> 02:02:34
			side. So Aisha,
		
02:02:35 --> 02:02:36
			amongst her mention, she mentioned
		
02:02:37 --> 02:02:40
			a person who described her her husband as
		
02:02:41 --> 02:02:42
			a vad, the cheetah.
		
02:02:44 --> 02:02:45
			This fad, this this animal,
		
02:02:46 --> 02:02:48
			they said it sleep a lot.
		
02:02:49 --> 02:02:50
			She said, Zauji in
		
02:02:56 --> 02:02:58
			My husband when he comes into the house,
		
02:02:58 --> 02:02:59
			he's like fat.
		
02:02:59 --> 02:03:00
			That means
		
02:03:00 --> 02:03:01
			very gentle,
		
02:03:02 --> 02:03:04
			very calm. He overlooks a lot.
		
02:03:05 --> 02:03:07
			Friendly to the family. The wife is happy
		
02:03:07 --> 02:03:09
			because he comes back.
		
02:03:09 --> 02:03:11
			You know, in some places when the husband
		
02:03:11 --> 02:03:13
			is coming back, trust me, the wife is
		
02:03:13 --> 02:03:15
			is strong stress.
		
02:03:15 --> 02:03:17
			What exactly this man is gonna see in
		
02:03:17 --> 02:03:17
			the house now?
		
02:03:18 --> 02:03:20
			Try her best to fix things. And sometimes
		
02:03:20 --> 02:03:21
			she made a mistake,
		
02:03:22 --> 02:03:23
			in the way,
		
02:03:24 --> 02:03:26
			she will get a trouble because of the
		
02:03:26 --> 02:03:28
			behavior and the attitude of the husband.
		
02:03:31 --> 02:03:32
			There was a story. I'm not sure sure
		
02:03:32 --> 02:03:34
			about it or authenticity. Otherwise, I will narrate
		
02:03:34 --> 02:03:35
			it to you to understand
		
02:03:36 --> 02:03:36
			how bad
		
02:03:37 --> 02:03:38
			is being harsh to
		
02:03:39 --> 02:03:39
			the
		
02:03:41 --> 02:03:41
			the wife.
		
02:03:42 --> 02:03:44
			Do you want that story?
		
02:03:47 --> 02:03:50
			Are you sure you want? Yeah. Yeah. K.
		
02:03:51 --> 02:03:52
			I got it from,
		
02:03:53 --> 02:03:56
			somebody from the Islamic University of Medina long
		
02:03:56 --> 02:03:56
			ago.
		
02:03:57 --> 02:03:57
			So I'm not sure
		
02:03:58 --> 02:04:00
			whether it happens or it doesn't happen, but,
		
02:04:01 --> 02:04:04
			when narrated to it was narrated to us
		
02:04:04 --> 02:04:05
			as something that happened.
		
02:04:08 --> 02:04:09
			Are you ready for that?
		
02:04:13 --> 02:04:15
			This person, he's living with more than one
		
02:04:15 --> 02:04:16
			wife,
		
02:04:18 --> 02:04:19
			and he got sick.
		
02:04:20 --> 02:04:22
			Right? He got sick.
		
02:04:22 --> 02:04:24
			When he got sick, he went to the
		
02:04:24 --> 02:04:25
			k. This is just a story here. Then
		
02:04:25 --> 02:04:28
			then then I read it from Ibrahim. When
		
02:04:28 --> 02:04:29
			you tell it, just tell this is a
		
02:04:29 --> 02:04:31
			story you heard from somewhere. Yes?
		
02:04:32 --> 02:04:34
			So he got sick. He went to the
		
02:04:34 --> 02:04:34
			hospital.
		
02:04:36 --> 02:04:36
			The doctors,
		
02:04:37 --> 02:04:37
			needed his,
		
02:04:38 --> 02:04:39
			urine for the test.
		
02:04:41 --> 02:04:41
			So he went,
		
02:04:42 --> 02:04:44
			he has the urine and he kept it
		
02:04:44 --> 02:04:46
			in the bottle waiting for the time to
		
02:04:46 --> 02:04:47
			meet the doctors.
		
02:04:48 --> 02:04:50
			One of them was sweeping the house, by
		
02:04:50 --> 02:04:52
			mistake, she hit the thing.
		
02:04:53 --> 02:04:55
			And it fell down.
		
02:04:56 --> 02:04:58
			She knows that her days are numbered.
		
02:05:00 --> 02:05:03
			This man would never accept the simple things.
		
02:05:03 --> 02:05:04
			He's like Majnoon.
		
02:05:05 --> 02:05:07
			But now this will be the big thing
		
02:05:07 --> 02:05:08
			she did.
		
02:05:09 --> 02:05:11
			Because most likely doctors ask him to do
		
02:05:11 --> 02:05:11
			this and
		
02:05:12 --> 02:05:14
			hid it waiting for the time to meet
		
02:05:14 --> 02:05:14
			the doctor.
		
02:05:16 --> 02:05:17
			What solution she has
		
02:05:18 --> 02:05:20
			to get hers and put inside?
		
02:05:21 --> 02:05:23
			And she has she was pregnant at that
		
02:05:23 --> 02:05:24
			time.
		
02:05:25 --> 02:05:27
			And that's why I said, are you ready
		
02:05:27 --> 02:05:28
			for the story? You said it. So you
		
02:05:28 --> 02:05:30
			are responsible, not me.
		
02:05:32 --> 02:05:34
			So the man came innocently and took the
		
02:05:34 --> 02:05:35
			urine
		
02:05:36 --> 02:05:36
			to the doctor.
		
02:05:38 --> 02:05:39
			And the doctor told him
		
02:05:40 --> 02:05:42
			and check and say, what? Is it yours?
		
02:05:42 --> 02:05:43
			He's here. It's mine.
		
02:05:47 --> 02:05:48
			So you get what I'm trying to say.
		
02:05:48 --> 02:05:49
			Right?
		
02:05:49 --> 02:05:52
			So should I complete the story? Yes. Please
		
02:05:52 --> 02:05:52
			say no.
		
02:05:55 --> 02:05:57
			So anyway, so the doctor told him, actually
		
02:05:57 --> 02:05:58
			according to the test,
		
02:05:59 --> 02:06:01
			you are this and that.
		
02:06:02 --> 02:06:04
			The man was very annoyed, you know, going
		
02:06:04 --> 02:06:06
			to hit the doctor. You're telling me this,
		
02:06:06 --> 02:06:08
			he said, yes, this is the result of
		
02:06:08 --> 02:06:09
			the the test.
		
02:06:10 --> 02:06:12
			But if you don't trust me, take the
		
02:06:12 --> 02:06:13
			same thing to somebody else.
		
02:06:13 --> 02:06:16
			That one also did. The same result.
		
02:06:18 --> 02:06:18
			And Subhanallah,
		
02:06:19 --> 02:06:20
			Dunia turned upside down.
		
02:06:21 --> 02:06:23
			For the first time he went back, very
		
02:06:23 --> 02:06:23
			humble.
		
02:06:25 --> 02:06:28
			To the family asking them what exactly happened.
		
02:06:28 --> 02:06:29
			And this is his situation.
		
02:06:32 --> 02:06:33
			Until the time when they pity him because
		
02:06:33 --> 02:06:35
			he cried, he doesn't know what to do,
		
02:06:35 --> 02:06:35
			you know.
		
02:06:36 --> 02:06:38
			How to explain to them? I mean the
		
02:06:38 --> 02:06:39
			people that he is
		
02:06:39 --> 02:06:40
			having this.
		
02:06:41 --> 02:06:42
			So and then after this,
		
02:06:43 --> 02:06:45
			that wife, when she sees how much in
		
02:06:45 --> 02:06:48
			Kesa, that was the time she explained to
		
02:06:48 --> 02:06:49
			him what exactly happened.
		
02:06:50 --> 02:06:52
			And she told him that yes because I'm
		
02:06:52 --> 02:06:53
			not sure about what will happen to my
		
02:06:53 --> 02:06:55
			life. So I have no any other choice
		
02:06:55 --> 02:06:56
			except to look for alternative.
		
02:06:57 --> 02:06:59
			And to grant you that.
		
02:06:59 --> 02:07:01
			That was the only thing that convinced him
		
02:07:01 --> 02:07:02
			to come
		
02:07:02 --> 02:07:04
			the dawg. But if he is doing it
		
02:07:04 --> 02:07:05
			like Rasulullah
		
02:07:06 --> 02:07:07
			Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam, trust me.
		
02:07:08 --> 02:07:10
			She can just tell him unfortunately
		
02:07:10 --> 02:07:12
			by mistake I did this. Please.
		
02:07:13 --> 02:07:16
			Uh-uh I'm very sorry. Let's make an another
		
02:07:16 --> 02:07:17
			appointment.
		
02:07:17 --> 02:07:18
			We'll get a new one and then we
		
02:07:18 --> 02:07:20
			go to the doctors with it.
		
02:07:21 --> 02:07:23
			So this woman said,
		
02:07:24 --> 02:07:26
			when he gets inside the house, he's like
		
02:07:26 --> 02:07:27
			Fahad.
		
02:07:28 --> 02:07:30
			Meaning very soft and gentle and and friend
		
02:07:30 --> 02:07:31
			of everyone.
		
02:07:32 --> 02:07:34
			When Khalid the asset, and when he goes
		
02:07:34 --> 02:07:35
			out of the house,
		
02:07:35 --> 02:07:38
			he's like a lion. Because she's afraid of
		
02:07:38 --> 02:07:40
			somebody making negative comment on her husband that
		
02:07:40 --> 02:07:42
			he's very very weak.
		
02:07:42 --> 02:07:46
			She said no. His attitude and his behavior
		
02:07:46 --> 02:07:48
			at home is like this. However, he's a
		
02:07:48 --> 02:07:50
			very serious person when he is outside.
		
02:07:54 --> 02:07:56
			He doesn't come back home to interview the
		
02:07:56 --> 02:07:58
			people who are living in the house. Why
		
02:07:58 --> 02:08:00
			this thing is here?
		
02:08:00 --> 02:08:02
			Why this thing is not being done, why
		
02:08:02 --> 02:08:04
			why why why. He does it.
		
02:08:06 --> 02:08:07
			That's why you remember last time I said,
		
02:08:07 --> 02:08:09
			when you go back to your house,
		
02:08:10 --> 02:08:10
			don't bring
		
02:08:11 --> 02:08:13
			anything back to the house. Yeah, because when
		
02:08:13 --> 02:08:15
			you go to the workplace, you know sometimes
		
02:08:15 --> 02:08:17
			you get annoyed here and there. When you
		
02:08:17 --> 02:08:18
			go back to the house, you will become
		
02:08:18 --> 02:08:19
			very sensitive.
		
02:08:20 --> 02:08:22
			Intolerant. You have no time for the family
		
02:08:22 --> 02:08:24
			and no time for the kids and nobody.
		
02:08:24 --> 02:08:26
			So Al Hazm is necessary.
		
02:08:27 --> 02:08:28
			Yeah? To be
		
02:08:29 --> 02:08:32
			seriousness in is necessary for the family to
		
02:08:32 --> 02:08:34
			be able to do the right thing. But
		
02:08:34 --> 02:08:36
			at the same time, this seriousness should be
		
02:08:38 --> 02:08:39
			attached and adorned with
		
02:08:39 --> 02:08:43
			mercy and love. And, your kids,
		
02:08:43 --> 02:08:44
			your wife,
		
02:08:44 --> 02:08:46
			they should be the best friend
		
02:08:47 --> 02:08:50
			for you in this life of ours. You
		
02:08:50 --> 02:08:50
			know.
		
02:08:51 --> 02:08:53
			If you're not like that, will life change?
		
02:08:53 --> 02:08:55
			Your kids, they should be your best friend.
		
02:08:56 --> 02:08:57
			You know, this is really necessary.
		
02:08:58 --> 02:08:58
			Wajib,
		
02:08:58 --> 02:08:59
			I can call it
		
02:09:04 --> 02:09:06
			that your kids have to be your best
		
02:09:06 --> 02:09:08
			friend. Your wife must be your best
		
02:09:09 --> 02:09:11
			friend. Not in this sense of joke
		
02:09:12 --> 02:09:14
			or pretending, no, she has to. Your husband
		
02:09:14 --> 02:09:16
			has to be like that.
		
02:09:16 --> 02:09:18
			Because if you have sensitivity in your heart
		
02:09:18 --> 02:09:20
			towards one of them, how do you cooperate
		
02:09:20 --> 02:09:23
			both of you 2 to produce a good
		
02:09:23 --> 02:09:25
			a good child? You get it? Your kids,
		
02:09:25 --> 02:09:27
			they should be happy when you come back.
		
02:09:28 --> 02:09:30
			They should they should be waiting for you.
		
02:09:31 --> 02:09:32
			And therefore,
		
02:09:33 --> 02:09:35
			in all of their games, in all of
		
02:09:35 --> 02:09:36
			the things when they invite you, as long
		
02:09:36 --> 02:09:38
			as you are not busy with something which
		
02:09:38 --> 02:09:38
			is,
		
02:09:39 --> 02:09:40
			you know,
		
02:09:40 --> 02:09:43
			which cannot be compromised, just leave whatever you
		
02:09:43 --> 02:09:44
			are doing, go to them.
		
02:09:45 --> 02:09:47
			Don't trust my words, go and see the
		
02:09:47 --> 02:09:49
			life of Muhammad sallallahu alaihi. This is what
		
02:09:49 --> 02:09:50
			you find.
		
02:09:51 --> 02:09:53
			As soon as I saw some play with
		
02:09:53 --> 02:09:53
			the kids.
		
02:09:54 --> 02:09:56
			You know. Make them happy. Bring them closer.
		
02:09:57 --> 02:09:59
			Yeah. So that's why they are always truthful
		
02:09:59 --> 02:10:01
			and saying the truth to the prophet Sallallahu
		
02:10:01 --> 02:10:04
			Alaihi Salam. Number 2, the next quality is
		
02:10:04 --> 02:10:05
			a salah, righteousness.
		
02:10:07 --> 02:10:07
			You know,
		
02:10:08 --> 02:10:09
			righteousness. This is necessary.
		
02:10:10 --> 02:10:12
			Is the best way to preserve your family
		
02:10:12 --> 02:10:15
			and you remember my word last time I
		
02:10:15 --> 02:10:17
			said, a child is just like a bag,
		
02:10:17 --> 02:10:19
			right? That you fill it with the way
		
02:10:19 --> 02:10:21
			you want. And they always monitor.
		
02:10:23 --> 02:10:25
			They always monitor and see you. And they
		
02:10:25 --> 02:10:27
			always try to do what you are doing.
		
02:10:28 --> 02:10:29
			They always try to to do what you
		
02:10:29 --> 02:10:30
			are,
		
02:10:30 --> 02:10:31
			you are doing.
		
02:10:32 --> 02:10:34
			I have a child at home.
		
02:10:36 --> 02:10:39
			Just completed 2 years. Just completed 2 years.
		
02:10:40 --> 02:10:41
			Trust me. Whenever I pray
		
02:10:41 --> 02:10:43
			at night, if he's not sleeping at that
		
02:10:43 --> 02:10:44
			time, I tell him,
		
02:10:44 --> 02:10:47
			come. Let's pray. He will leave his his
		
02:10:47 --> 02:10:49
			his car. He will come.
		
02:10:50 --> 02:10:52
			Also looking at any place but he comes
		
02:10:52 --> 02:10:53
			in.
		
02:10:54 --> 02:10:56
			And sometimes when you see, he sees one
		
02:10:56 --> 02:10:58
			of us praying, he will go and start
		
02:10:58 --> 02:11:00
			bringing the clothes for the other one.
		
02:11:00 --> 02:11:02
			Prayer time, he also will come and and
		
02:11:02 --> 02:11:05
			start praying. These are children. You can see
		
02:11:05 --> 02:11:07
			that from their talk, their behavior, the way
		
02:11:07 --> 02:11:09
			they act, you know, whatever you are doing
		
02:11:09 --> 02:11:10
			at home, they are also copying.
		
02:11:11 --> 02:11:13
			Yeah. So if you're not good,
		
02:11:13 --> 02:11:16
			they're going to copy that bad behavior,
		
02:11:16 --> 02:11:19
			and they will be grown, you know, upon
		
02:11:19 --> 02:11:21
			that bad behavior, which might not be easy
		
02:11:21 --> 02:11:23
			for you to fix it. And
		
02:11:24 --> 02:11:26
			that's why we go back to the first
		
02:11:26 --> 02:11:29
			thing I said, right? Choosing the best person
		
02:11:30 --> 02:11:32
			As a base of your Tarbia.
		
02:11:33 --> 02:11:35
			For the Tarbia of your kids. Ask
		
02:11:36 --> 02:11:36
			you to
		
02:11:37 --> 02:11:39
			make to choose the base that is upon
		
02:11:40 --> 02:11:42
			what? 2 things, right? Tap of Allah and
		
02:11:43 --> 02:11:44
			and good manners.
		
02:11:45 --> 02:11:46
			Not any other thing else.
		
02:11:47 --> 02:11:47
			Taqwa
		
02:11:48 --> 02:11:49
			and good manners.
		
02:11:50 --> 02:11:51
			So Assala is necessary
		
02:11:52 --> 02:11:54
			because the kids are going to imitate you
		
02:11:54 --> 02:11:56
			and follow you in whatever they see you
		
02:11:56 --> 02:11:56
			doing.
		
02:11:57 --> 02:11:59
			And also my dear brothers, sisters,
		
02:12:00 --> 02:12:02
			this is also the best way for you
		
02:12:02 --> 02:12:03
			to preserve your children.
		
02:12:04 --> 02:12:06
			Do you know that? If you have, you
		
02:12:06 --> 02:12:08
			give them good and you are righteous,
		
02:12:09 --> 02:12:11
			Allah will protect your children because of, because
		
02:12:11 --> 02:12:12
			of this.
		
02:12:26 --> 02:12:26
			Allah
		
02:12:27 --> 02:12:30
			instructed Khidr to go and fix the the
		
02:12:30 --> 02:12:30
			wall.
		
02:12:31 --> 02:12:33
			Because under the wall you have
		
02:12:33 --> 02:12:36
			the children, I mean the treasure that belongs
		
02:12:36 --> 02:12:37
			to the children, and Allah
		
02:12:38 --> 02:12:39
			is doing
		
02:12:40 --> 02:12:43
			this for them because the father was was
		
02:12:43 --> 02:12:44
			a righteous person.
		
02:12:44 --> 02:12:46
			So the more righteous you are
		
02:12:47 --> 02:12:50
			the better protection and preservation you have
		
02:12:50 --> 02:12:52
			in your kids. Say it will be used
		
02:12:52 --> 02:12:55
			to say, sometimes I increase my righteous righteousness
		
02:12:56 --> 02:12:59
			for my kids to be preserved by Allah
		
02:12:59 --> 02:12:59
			Subhanahu
		
02:12:59 --> 02:13:03
			Wa Ta'ala. So it's necessary for you to
		
02:13:03 --> 02:13:06
			become and to maintain your righteousness for the
		
02:13:06 --> 02:13:06
			kid to have
		
02:13:07 --> 02:13:08
			a good person
		
02:13:09 --> 02:13:11
			to imitate. That environment should be the environment
		
02:13:11 --> 02:13:13
			of righteousness.
		
02:13:14 --> 02:13:14
			A civic,
		
02:13:15 --> 02:13:16
			speaking the truth.
		
02:13:17 --> 02:13:19
			Right? If the father become a liar, and
		
02:13:19 --> 02:13:21
			the mother also is lying,
		
02:13:22 --> 02:13:23
			trust me, the kids,
		
02:13:24 --> 02:13:25
			they will also
		
02:13:26 --> 02:13:29
			grow upon lying. So I tell them not
		
02:13:29 --> 02:13:30
			to lie, but I lie.
		
02:13:31 --> 02:13:34
			Right? How do I lie? I promise him
		
02:13:34 --> 02:13:37
			to give him something but I don't give.
		
02:13:38 --> 02:13:40
			So my sister was calling a child,
		
02:13:41 --> 02:13:43
			you know, to give him something.
		
02:13:44 --> 02:13:44
			So,
		
02:13:45 --> 02:13:46
			she gave. The prophet
		
02:13:46 --> 02:13:47
			said,
		
02:13:47 --> 02:13:49
			had you, you know, stay away from giving.
		
02:13:50 --> 02:13:52
			It will be written for you as as
		
02:13:52 --> 02:13:52
			a lie.
		
02:13:53 --> 02:13:55
			You get it? So, when I tell my
		
02:13:55 --> 02:13:57
			child, I would do something, I should do
		
02:13:57 --> 02:13:57
			it.
		
02:13:58 --> 02:13:59
			And please,
		
02:13:59 --> 02:14:02
			my dear brothers, sisters, take this seriously.
		
02:14:03 --> 02:14:04
			Yeah. Don't lie.
		
02:14:05 --> 02:14:07
			Yeah. Don't lie. Don't tolerate lie in the
		
02:14:07 --> 02:14:09
			house, but you should be the first person
		
02:14:09 --> 02:14:10
			to observe this.
		
02:14:12 --> 02:14:14
			If you lie, you're not honest
		
02:14:15 --> 02:14:17
			in your affairs, your kids also are going
		
02:14:17 --> 02:14:18
			to
		
02:14:19 --> 02:14:21
			be not honest in the affairs.
		
02:14:22 --> 02:14:25
			Is that clear? Yeah, our kids lie, right?
		
02:14:25 --> 02:14:27
			A lot. Why? Because they are afraid of
		
02:14:27 --> 02:14:29
			being punished. So we already tackled this. You
		
02:14:29 --> 02:14:30
			don't want them to lie?
		
02:14:30 --> 02:14:33
			Stay away from punishing your kids. Be either
		
02:14:33 --> 02:14:34
			lighter. Allah, they don't, they will not lie
		
02:14:34 --> 02:14:37
			to you. Be a friend of them. They
		
02:14:37 --> 02:14:39
			will have no excuse except to speak the
		
02:14:39 --> 02:14:41
			truth because they are not afraid of
		
02:14:41 --> 02:14:43
			anything. And it should be the best example
		
02:14:43 --> 02:14:46
			for them. Yeah, when you promise something, do
		
02:14:46 --> 02:14:48
			it. When you promise others and they know
		
02:14:48 --> 02:14:50
			about this promise, do it. When you say
		
02:14:50 --> 02:14:52
			you will do something, do it.
		
02:14:52 --> 02:14:54
			Don't lie. No matter what.
		
02:14:55 --> 02:14:55
			Sometimes
		
02:14:56 --> 02:14:58
			police stopped you.
		
02:14:59 --> 02:15:00
			You play some games. The kids know you
		
02:15:00 --> 02:15:02
			are lying. You know you are lying and
		
02:15:02 --> 02:15:04
			the kids know you are lying. What message
		
02:15:04 --> 02:15:05
			are you sending to the kids?
		
02:15:06 --> 02:15:08
			They also should lie in in the future.
		
02:15:08 --> 02:15:10
			By the way, is there any good in
		
02:15:10 --> 02:15:10
			line?
		
02:15:11 --> 02:15:12
			Say no.
		
02:15:13 --> 02:15:15
			There's nothing good except in the rural situations,
		
02:15:16 --> 02:15:18
			Yusuf. Yeah, only in the rural situations.
		
02:15:19 --> 02:15:21
			That's why lying has never been tolerated in
		
02:15:21 --> 02:15:24
			our religion except in 3 situations. And each
		
02:15:24 --> 02:15:25
			one of them is the rural.
		
02:15:26 --> 02:15:28
			Number 1, when you lie at the battlefield,
		
02:15:29 --> 02:15:30
			you lie
		
02:15:30 --> 02:15:32
			to reconcile between 2
		
02:15:33 --> 02:15:35
			Muslim brothers who are fighting each other.
		
02:15:35 --> 02:15:36
			Yeah.
		
02:15:37 --> 02:15:38
			Or to save the life of your
		
02:15:39 --> 02:15:41
			your family or your friends, you know, or
		
02:15:41 --> 02:15:44
			any other Muslim, you can lie.
		
02:15:44 --> 02:15:47
			And the last one is lying to to
		
02:15:47 --> 02:15:47
			the spouse.
		
02:15:48 --> 02:15:50
			Yeah. You might say this is not necessary.
		
02:15:50 --> 02:15:51
			No, it is.
		
02:15:52 --> 02:15:55
			When you reach that situation, it is
		
02:15:56 --> 02:15:58
			necessary for you to see how to go
		
02:15:58 --> 02:16:00
			out of it, Because Islam wants the marriage
		
02:16:00 --> 02:16:01
			to be maintained.
		
02:16:02 --> 02:16:05
			Subhanallah. Nowadays, the divorce, is it decreasing or
		
02:16:05 --> 02:16:05
			increasing?
		
02:16:06 --> 02:16:09
			Yeah. Somebody was telling me so many people
		
02:16:09 --> 02:16:10
			are not married. I say yeah and so
		
02:16:10 --> 02:16:12
			many people are getting divorced also at the
		
02:16:12 --> 02:16:13
			same time.
		
02:16:13 --> 02:16:15
			To add to that pain, right? So many
		
02:16:15 --> 02:16:18
			people are not married. Is that true? Yes.
		
02:16:18 --> 02:16:20
			And so many people are divorced.
		
02:16:20 --> 02:16:22
			To add to that pain also.
		
02:16:23 --> 02:16:24
			Why? Because
		
02:16:25 --> 02:16:27
			the marriage is not based on
		
02:16:27 --> 02:16:29
			what is this supposed to
		
02:16:30 --> 02:16:31
			to be based based on.
		
02:16:32 --> 02:16:32
			So
		
02:16:33 --> 02:16:36
			Allah wants the marital relationship to be maintained.
		
02:16:36 --> 02:16:38
			Because this is
		
02:16:39 --> 02:16:41
			the only way we can ensure a good
		
02:16:41 --> 02:16:43
			terbia given to to the kids.
		
02:16:44 --> 02:16:46
			That's why Shaitan was happy to
		
02:16:46 --> 02:16:49
			hear somebody divorcing his wife. Much happier than
		
02:16:49 --> 02:16:50
			seeing somebody
		
02:16:52 --> 02:16:53
			Killing another person.
		
02:16:54 --> 02:16:56
			And this one is halal. And he's happy
		
02:16:56 --> 02:16:59
			because if this is to happen, usually the
		
02:16:59 --> 02:17:00
			turbia of the kids will be
		
02:17:01 --> 02:17:04
			corrupt. And when the terbia is gone, then
		
02:17:04 --> 02:17:06
			you see the kids are, that are generated
		
02:17:06 --> 02:17:07
			from this house,
		
02:17:07 --> 02:17:10
			being engaged in doing any evil in the
		
02:17:10 --> 02:17:11
			community.
		
02:17:12 --> 02:17:13
			Is that clear inshallah? So that's the reason
		
02:17:13 --> 02:17:14
			why the prophet said
		
02:17:15 --> 02:17:18
			lying to a spouse is also permissible. When
		
02:17:18 --> 02:17:20
			there is no any other way to fix
		
02:17:20 --> 02:17:20
			the situation.
		
02:17:21 --> 02:17:23
			Not like whenever you talk to her, you
		
02:17:23 --> 02:17:24
			lie to her. No. You are a liar.
		
02:17:24 --> 02:17:26
			And you will get sin for this. He's
		
02:17:26 --> 02:17:27
			talking about critical matters.
		
02:17:28 --> 02:17:29
			Where there is no any other way to
		
02:17:29 --> 02:17:31
			fix the situation except if you tell her
		
02:17:31 --> 02:17:34
			something in that way, the Tawia way. Then
		
02:17:34 --> 02:17:36
			it will be it will be okay inshallah.
		
02:17:37 --> 02:17:37
			So
		
02:17:38 --> 02:17:40
			speak in the truth is an honor.
		
02:17:41 --> 02:17:42
			And nobody
		
02:17:42 --> 02:17:44
			amongst the creation of Allah that has the
		
02:17:44 --> 02:17:47
			common sense in Aqal that tolerate a lies.
		
02:17:47 --> 02:17:49
			Adibullah Musaib once said
		
02:17:56 --> 02:17:58
			any sin that Allah makes kafara
		
02:17:59 --> 02:18:00
			for this
		
02:18:00 --> 02:18:02
			sin, the issue of this sin is, is
		
02:18:02 --> 02:18:03
			very simple.
		
02:18:04 --> 02:18:07
			Are we together? Whatever Allah put kafara for
		
02:18:07 --> 02:18:09
			it, that's mean the issue is simple.
		
02:18:09 --> 02:18:11
			You can tackle the matter and you can
		
02:18:11 --> 02:18:14
			fix it. He says that's why Allah did
		
02:18:14 --> 02:18:16
			not make Kafara for for lying.
		
02:18:17 --> 02:18:19
			That's why I really urge and advise you
		
02:18:19 --> 02:18:21
			to speak the truth in all circumstances.
		
02:18:22 --> 02:18:23
			In all circumstances.
		
02:18:26 --> 02:18:29
			The next quality is Al Hikma. So we
		
02:18:29 --> 02:18:31
			talk about the silic Al Hikma, wisdom.
		
02:18:32 --> 02:18:33
			What is wisdom?
		
02:18:34 --> 02:18:36
			Putting things in the right
		
02:18:36 --> 02:18:39
			position. Yeah. Putting thing in the right position.
		
02:18:40 --> 02:18:41
			Hit my advice.
		
02:18:41 --> 02:18:43
			Yeah. We need this with our kids. It's
		
02:18:43 --> 02:18:45
			part of what I have said. Terbiabi,
		
02:18:45 --> 02:18:46
			it helped
		
02:18:46 --> 02:18:48
			Terbia with law
		
02:18:48 --> 02:18:49
			And a kind of
		
02:18:50 --> 02:18:52
			friendly Terbia. So when you fix your children,
		
02:18:53 --> 02:18:55
			fix them with with Hikma.
		
02:18:55 --> 02:18:56
			Sit with them.
		
02:18:57 --> 02:18:58
			Address their damir.
		
02:18:59 --> 02:19:01
			You know? Don't you think this is wrong?
		
02:19:01 --> 02:19:02
			Don't you think if we do it in
		
02:19:02 --> 02:19:05
			this way, it's better? You know? Let's sit
		
02:19:05 --> 02:19:07
			down and cooperate. You know? Fix them with
		
02:19:07 --> 02:19:08
			Hikma.
		
02:19:09 --> 02:19:11
			I have children. If one of them did
		
02:19:11 --> 02:19:12
			something wrong,
		
02:19:12 --> 02:19:15
			you know, but nobody knows that this person
		
02:19:15 --> 02:19:16
			is doing something wrong.
		
02:19:17 --> 02:19:20
			The usual way of fixing him is to
		
02:19:20 --> 02:19:22
			to shout and to talk against him in
		
02:19:22 --> 02:19:24
			the presence of his siblings.
		
02:19:25 --> 02:19:25
			Yeah.
		
02:19:26 --> 02:19:28
			And they're gonna be happy with that. Yeah.
		
02:19:28 --> 02:19:30
			Because they will see they will tease him.
		
02:19:31 --> 02:19:31
			Yeah.
		
02:19:33 --> 02:19:35
			So you shouldn't do that.
		
02:19:35 --> 02:19:37
			What must you do? You keep it
		
02:19:37 --> 02:19:39
			until the moment you can sit with him.
		
02:19:40 --> 02:19:42
			You alone with him. Trust me. If you
		
02:19:42 --> 02:19:44
			are to treat your child in this way,
		
02:19:44 --> 02:19:45
			the evening
		
02:19:46 --> 02:19:48
			that bad behavior will be, will be fixed.
		
02:19:48 --> 02:19:50
			So wisdom is needed. Wisdom means
		
02:19:51 --> 02:19:52
			putting things in the appropriate
		
02:19:53 --> 02:19:54
			position.
		
02:19:55 --> 02:19:57
			And the last one I have here, a
		
02:19:57 --> 02:19:59
			Tavaful which I already talk about it when
		
02:19:59 --> 02:20:01
			I was talking about the the Hazm. The
		
02:20:01 --> 02:20:02
			Rafa means overlooking.
		
02:20:03 --> 02:20:05
			Categorize the mistakes the kids are going to
		
02:20:05 --> 02:20:07
			be committing at home. You know, according to
		
02:20:07 --> 02:20:08
			their size.
		
02:20:08 --> 02:20:10
			Focus on those big ones and the minor
		
02:20:10 --> 02:20:12
			ones, close your eyes. If you fix the
		
02:20:12 --> 02:20:15
			big ones in a nice way, you know,
		
02:20:15 --> 02:20:17
			lovely way, be even light to Allah, The
		
02:20:17 --> 02:20:20
			small ones will be will be fixed by
		
02:20:20 --> 02:20:21
			by themselves.
		
02:20:21 --> 02:20:23
			So, these are
		
02:20:23 --> 02:20:26
			the those qualities that I found mentioned by
		
02:20:26 --> 02:20:28
			some scholars to be you know adorned
		
02:20:29 --> 02:20:31
			by the the Morabi
		
02:20:31 --> 02:20:33
			who wants to succeed in his in his
		
02:20:33 --> 02:20:36
			terbia. So inshallah after this I will be
		
02:20:36 --> 02:20:37
			attaching
		
02:20:37 --> 02:20:38
			the part of
		
02:20:39 --> 02:20:40
			growing a child on.
		
02:20:44 --> 02:20:46
			But before then inshallah, we'll open once again.
		
02:20:46 --> 02:20:47
			Uh-uh
		
02:20:48 --> 02:20:50
			the session for question and
		
02:20:50 --> 02:20:52
			if if there is any question from your
		
02:20:52 --> 02:20:52
			side.
		
02:21:04 --> 02:21:04
			Any questions?
		
02:21:08 --> 02:21:10
			Assalamu alaikum, Sheikh. Sheikh,
		
02:21:13 --> 02:21:15
			should we wait until we give our bad
		
02:21:15 --> 02:21:16
			habits before going to propose?
		
02:21:19 --> 02:21:21
			Somebody wants to, who is the one who
		
02:21:21 --> 02:21:23
			is asking me this question? I don't see.
		
02:21:23 --> 02:21:24
			Ah, Obas.
		
02:21:25 --> 02:21:27
			So somebody has bad habit, right? He wants
		
02:21:27 --> 02:21:30
			to marry, shall he wait until he
		
02:21:30 --> 02:21:32
			stay away from the bad habit and then
		
02:21:32 --> 02:21:33
			he he marries?
		
02:21:36 --> 02:21:39
			Until when he will be waiting.
		
02:21:43 --> 02:21:44
			When do when does he think he can
		
02:21:44 --> 02:21:46
			stop doing that habit?
		
02:21:47 --> 02:21:50
			It depends on the habit. But I'm assuming
		
02:21:51 --> 02:21:52
			a month or 2, maybe.
		
02:21:53 --> 02:21:54
			In it, as a Muslim,
		
02:21:55 --> 02:21:57
			you know, this person who is asking me
		
02:21:57 --> 02:21:59
			this question is a Muslim. When does he
		
02:21:59 --> 02:22:01
			think he can be able to give up
		
02:22:01 --> 02:22:02
			that bad habit?
		
02:22:04 --> 02:22:06
			I don't think there's a specific time, but
		
02:22:06 --> 02:22:07
			as soon as possible.
		
02:22:09 --> 02:22:11
			And this person, we need to see him,
		
02:22:11 --> 02:22:13
			actually, to have a special meeting with him.
		
02:22:14 --> 02:22:16
			Yeah. You know why I'm saying this, Wabas?
		
02:22:16 --> 02:22:16
			Because
		
02:22:17 --> 02:22:19
			it looks like he has a written agreement
		
02:22:19 --> 02:22:21
			with the angel of death.
		
02:22:21 --> 02:22:24
			Not to come to him until he fixes
		
02:22:24 --> 02:22:26
			himself and then the angel will come.
		
02:22:27 --> 02:22:29
			You know why I'm saying this, is because
		
02:22:29 --> 02:22:29
			if
		
02:22:30 --> 02:22:32
			this is not the case, as a Muslim,
		
02:22:33 --> 02:22:35
			if I have, you know, the the courage
		
02:22:35 --> 02:22:37
			to say that I'm waiting for the time
		
02:22:37 --> 02:22:38
			to fix myself, that means I can do
		
02:22:38 --> 02:22:39
			it.
		
02:22:40 --> 02:22:42
			I can do it. Why can't I fix
		
02:22:42 --> 02:22:44
			myself right now and move forward in my
		
02:22:44 --> 02:22:46
			life? I know what I'm doing is wrong.
		
02:22:47 --> 02:22:48
			Seriously,
		
02:22:48 --> 02:22:50
			I want to address this question because it's
		
02:22:50 --> 02:22:52
			wrong decision for a person to be making.
		
02:22:52 --> 02:22:55
			I wait first until I fix myself and
		
02:22:55 --> 02:22:56
			then I marry. When am I going to
		
02:22:56 --> 02:22:57
			fix myself?
		
02:22:57 --> 02:23:00
			And subhanallah, by the time you started thinking
		
02:23:00 --> 02:23:01
			this way, trust me, it's like you are
		
02:23:01 --> 02:23:05
			inviting the shaitan to also intensify the effort
		
02:23:05 --> 02:23:07
			on you not to make a change.
		
02:23:07 --> 02:23:09
			Because it's very dangerous to live a life
		
02:23:09 --> 02:23:11
			without having a spouse next to you.
		
02:23:12 --> 02:23:15
			So a person who says this really needs
		
02:23:15 --> 02:23:17
			somebody to advise him wisely.
		
02:23:17 --> 02:23:18
			Fix yourself
		
02:23:18 --> 02:23:20
			right now and marry and move forward.
		
02:23:21 --> 02:23:21
			It's
		
02:23:22 --> 02:23:24
			to fix what he knows to be wrong
		
02:23:25 --> 02:23:27
			and propose a marriage. Don't wait
		
02:23:28 --> 02:23:31
			until he fix himself and then propose. No.
		
02:23:31 --> 02:23:33
			Fix himself right now and propose.
		
02:23:34 --> 02:23:36
			And that's it. And keep trying his best
		
02:23:36 --> 02:23:38
			to make sure that he maintain his good
		
02:23:38 --> 02:23:38
			behavior.
		
02:23:39 --> 02:23:41
			Inshallah. Rather than waiting
		
02:23:41 --> 02:23:42
			until when? Like what you told me. You
		
02:23:42 --> 02:23:44
			were right in what you said. There is
		
02:23:44 --> 02:23:46
			no time limit for this. Right?
		
02:23:46 --> 02:23:49
			Yeah. I can say I I want to
		
02:23:49 --> 02:23:50
			propose to marry,
		
02:23:50 --> 02:23:51
			but when I graduate.
		
02:23:52 --> 02:23:54
			Is there any time limit for this? Yes.
		
02:23:54 --> 02:23:55
			I know when I'm when I'm going to
		
02:23:55 --> 02:23:56
			be graduating.
		
02:23:57 --> 02:23:59
			Right? But this one is saying, when I
		
02:23:59 --> 02:24:01
			become righteous, when is he going to become
		
02:24:01 --> 02:24:03
			righteous? I'm pretty sure if I ask him,
		
02:24:03 --> 02:24:04
			he will tell me I don't know.
		
02:24:05 --> 02:24:06
			If he tells me yes, I know, then
		
02:24:06 --> 02:24:08
			I, then this person is a is a
		
02:24:08 --> 02:24:08
			player.
		
02:24:09 --> 02:24:11
			He knows what he's doing, he's just playing
		
02:24:11 --> 02:24:11
			the game.
		
02:24:12 --> 02:24:14
			With his religion. So my advice to this
		
02:24:14 --> 02:24:17
			person is to fix his attitude and his
		
02:24:17 --> 02:24:20
			behavior, and then propose to marry a good
		
02:24:20 --> 02:24:21
			person, you know.
		
02:24:38 --> 02:24:40
			Sheikh, this with regards to,
		
02:24:41 --> 02:24:41
			being,
		
02:24:42 --> 02:24:43
			just with
		
02:24:44 --> 02:24:45
			kids and the siblings. Yeah.
		
02:24:47 --> 02:24:48
			Sheikh, is is it from the sunnah to
		
02:24:48 --> 02:24:49
			start
		
02:24:50 --> 02:24:52
			with the girls when giving gifts,
		
02:24:53 --> 02:24:55
			as opposed to boys.
		
02:24:55 --> 02:24:57
			And, actually, I have a number of questions,
		
02:24:57 --> 02:24:59
			so I'm not sure if I should ask
		
02:24:59 --> 02:25:00
			all of them at once or one by
		
02:25:00 --> 02:25:02
			one share. We still have time, shall we?
		
02:25:02 --> 02:25:03
			Okay.
		
02:25:06 --> 02:25:09
			I continue with the question. That's that's question
		
02:25:09 --> 02:25:10
			Number 1. Number 1. Okay.
		
02:25:11 --> 02:25:12
			There are some but
		
02:25:14 --> 02:25:15
			they have some issues with their,
		
02:25:16 --> 02:25:17
			authenticity that the prophet
		
02:25:18 --> 02:25:20
			proposed that a girl should be start with.
		
02:25:21 --> 02:25:24
			I I can't remember any one of these
		
02:25:24 --> 02:25:25
			mussels that is authentic.
		
02:25:26 --> 02:25:27
			What we got from the prophet sallallahu alaihi
		
02:25:27 --> 02:25:31
			wasallam is an intensive mercy, you know, that
		
02:25:31 --> 02:25:32
			has been shown to the to the girls
		
02:25:32 --> 02:25:35
			more than the boys. But not
		
02:25:35 --> 02:25:36
			seeing the,
		
02:25:37 --> 02:25:39
			I mean, letting the boys sees that you're
		
02:25:39 --> 02:25:41
			making differences between them and and the girls
		
02:25:41 --> 02:25:43
			because the boy doesn't understand this.
		
02:25:44 --> 02:25:45
			But as soon as Allah said,
		
02:25:46 --> 02:25:48
			if Allah bless you with 2 daughters
		
02:25:49 --> 02:25:51
			and you are kind with them and you
		
02:25:51 --> 02:25:52
			educate them properly,
		
02:25:53 --> 02:25:55
			they will become your protection against the help.
		
02:25:56 --> 02:25:58
			You know, from that life where they are
		
02:25:58 --> 02:26:00
			buried alive, they are killed,
		
02:26:01 --> 02:26:03
			Now, they are blessing to have a girl
		
02:26:03 --> 02:26:05
			is a blessing from Allah. It's a very
		
02:26:05 --> 02:26:07
			special gift. You Allah. If you don't see
		
02:26:07 --> 02:26:09
			it like this, see it like that. Although
		
02:26:09 --> 02:26:12
			it's very, very, very, very also tough nowadays
		
02:26:12 --> 02:26:13
			to give tarabia to,
		
02:26:14 --> 02:26:16
			a girl, but it's still a blessing from
		
02:26:16 --> 02:26:19
			Allah to have her baby girl. And all
		
02:26:19 --> 02:26:20
			that you have to do is to make
		
02:26:20 --> 02:26:23
			sure that you educate her properly and you
		
02:26:23 --> 02:26:24
			give her what she need. And you are
		
02:26:24 --> 02:26:26
			gentle and soft because this is what fits
		
02:26:26 --> 02:26:29
			her nature. You see, you can come and
		
02:26:29 --> 02:26:30
			talk to your child
		
02:26:30 --> 02:26:32
			in a bit harsh way,
		
02:26:33 --> 02:26:36
			and the child might smile and stand up
		
02:26:36 --> 02:26:36
			and go.
		
02:26:37 --> 02:26:39
			Say the same thing to your daughter.
		
02:26:39 --> 02:26:41
			Trust me, before you complete, you might see
		
02:26:41 --> 02:26:44
			tears coming from her. Alright. So different people.
		
02:26:44 --> 02:26:46
			That's mean in my approach,
		
02:26:46 --> 02:26:48
			when I talk to my daughter, I shouldn't
		
02:26:48 --> 02:26:49
			talk to her in the way I talk
		
02:26:49 --> 02:26:50
			to my son.
		
02:26:51 --> 02:26:52
			If I'm gonna be harsh,
		
02:26:53 --> 02:26:55
			I shouldn't be harsh with her. Yes. I
		
02:26:55 --> 02:26:57
			must make sure that she's doing the right
		
02:26:57 --> 02:26:58
			thing, but at the same time, I should
		
02:26:58 --> 02:27:01
			make sure that I'm addressing Hadamir looking up
		
02:27:01 --> 02:27:03
			at her nature, you know. So but to
		
02:27:03 --> 02:27:05
			say that, yes, I make a gift, I
		
02:27:05 --> 02:27:07
			give him more, or I give him more,
		
02:27:07 --> 02:27:09
			the scholars said justice have to be maintained
		
02:27:09 --> 02:27:11
			in this regard. Although majority of the scholars
		
02:27:11 --> 02:27:14
			said justice in this regard is supposed to
		
02:27:14 --> 02:27:15
			be done in the way of inheritance,
		
02:27:16 --> 02:27:17
			like the law of inheritance.
		
02:27:18 --> 02:27:21
			Boy takes twice the portion of a girl.
		
02:27:21 --> 02:27:23
			But if this is not necessary, I really
		
02:27:23 --> 02:27:26
			advise a person just to equate them. You
		
02:27:26 --> 02:27:28
			know, you wanna give money to both of
		
02:27:28 --> 02:27:30
			them, give them the same thing.
		
02:27:30 --> 02:27:32
			You wanna buy some gift, give them the
		
02:27:32 --> 02:27:34
			same thing. You know, don't make differences. But
		
02:27:34 --> 02:27:36
			if there is a need for a difference
		
02:27:36 --> 02:27:38
			to take place, yes, you do. She will
		
02:27:38 --> 02:27:40
			understand or he will understand. Whoever need to
		
02:27:40 --> 02:27:42
			be given more, he give him more. The
		
02:27:42 --> 02:27:44
			rest also will understand because they know that
		
02:27:44 --> 02:27:47
			this person need more than that. Yeah. Lagrange
		
02:27:47 --> 02:27:49
			is good. And to a few.
		
02:27:50 --> 02:27:51
			The second question
		
02:27:52 --> 02:27:53
			is with regards what you mentioned,
		
02:27:54 --> 02:27:55
			about the grades,
		
02:27:56 --> 02:27:57
			and never,
		
02:27:59 --> 02:28:00
			given,
		
02:28:01 --> 02:28:01
			something
		
02:28:02 --> 02:28:03
			to a child
		
02:28:04 --> 02:28:06
			as opposed to the other children.
		
02:28:06 --> 02:28:09
			Does this also apply for akhirah matters? Like,
		
02:28:09 --> 02:28:10
			for example, if they memorize
		
02:28:11 --> 02:28:13
			more Quran than the other person.
		
02:28:14 --> 02:28:16
			So does that still apply? Yeah. It still
		
02:28:16 --> 02:28:16
			applied.
		
02:28:17 --> 02:28:17
			Any,
		
02:28:18 --> 02:28:21
			Subhan Allah, achievement they are making in their
		
02:28:21 --> 02:28:21
			life,
		
02:28:22 --> 02:28:23
			don't reward,
		
02:28:24 --> 02:28:26
			you know, one of them and neglects the
		
02:28:26 --> 02:28:27
			other one. Unless if you already put it
		
02:28:27 --> 02:28:29
			as a as a condition. Let's say you
		
02:28:29 --> 02:28:31
			will make it as a competition
		
02:28:31 --> 02:28:34
			between them. That yes, I want you guys
		
02:28:34 --> 02:28:36
			to memorize the book of Allah and whoever
		
02:28:36 --> 02:28:38
			memorizes the book of Allah
		
02:28:38 --> 02:28:39
			has this.
		
02:28:39 --> 02:28:42
			So they are raising each other. Whoever finish
		
02:28:42 --> 02:28:44
			you will get. So the rest they know
		
02:28:44 --> 02:28:47
			that you are not giving them because they
		
02:28:47 --> 02:28:49
			did not qualify the conditions. Because it's not
		
02:28:49 --> 02:28:52
			Wajib upon you to give. But randomly, I'm
		
02:28:52 --> 02:28:53
			just coming. I I want to please my
		
02:28:53 --> 02:28:55
			kids without doing anything or just because they
		
02:28:55 --> 02:28:56
			they pass the exams.
		
02:28:57 --> 02:28:59
			It shouldn't make any difference. But for this
		
02:28:59 --> 02:29:02
			one, the competition on the matters, if that
		
02:29:02 --> 02:29:04
			competition is good. In the memorization of the
		
02:29:04 --> 02:29:05
			Quran, it's good for you to do it
		
02:29:05 --> 02:29:07
			in that way. Inshallah.
		
02:29:07 --> 02:29:10
			But other religious matters is not good. Don't
		
02:29:10 --> 02:29:12
			reward your kids for whatever righteousness they are
		
02:29:12 --> 02:29:15
			doing. You are training them to do it
		
02:29:15 --> 02:29:17
			for the sake of the dunya.
		
02:29:17 --> 02:29:18
			You know, you're training them to do it
		
02:29:18 --> 02:29:20
			for the sake of the dunya. You know?
		
02:29:22 --> 02:29:23
			Last question.
		
02:29:24 --> 02:29:25
			Shay, what do we make with the
		
02:29:26 --> 02:29:27
			from Saul to Yusuf?
		
02:29:34 --> 02:29:37
			Because that was a situation that Yakub found
		
02:29:37 --> 02:29:39
			himself. And there's a very good, actually, example
		
02:29:39 --> 02:29:41
			that we need to understand correctly
		
02:29:41 --> 02:29:44
			to see the danger of favoring some of
		
02:29:44 --> 02:29:46
			the kids, you know, in anything.
		
02:29:48 --> 02:29:50
			He loved Yusuf more than
		
02:29:50 --> 02:29:52
			the rest of the siblings. True?
		
02:29:53 --> 02:29:54
			Salaam. True? Yes.
		
02:29:55 --> 02:29:58
			And Subhan Allah, this love, you know, refused
		
02:29:58 --> 02:29:59
			to be hidden.
		
02:30:00 --> 02:30:01
			Why? Because it's not easy to know that
		
02:30:01 --> 02:30:03
			this son of yours is a prophet of
		
02:30:03 --> 02:30:03
			Allah
		
02:30:05 --> 02:30:06
			He was a prophet and he knows that
		
02:30:06 --> 02:30:08
			among his kids, this one also is going
		
02:30:08 --> 02:30:09
			to be a prophet.
		
02:30:09 --> 02:30:10
			So
		
02:30:10 --> 02:30:12
			he loves him so much. And the way
		
02:30:12 --> 02:30:14
			the rest of the kids, they know this.
		
02:30:15 --> 02:30:17
			And that caused Yusuf alaihi salaam a lot.
		
02:30:18 --> 02:30:20
			They plotted against him. You already know the
		
02:30:20 --> 02:30:21
			story, right?
		
02:30:22 --> 02:30:25
			They plan to kill. Allah protected him.
		
02:30:26 --> 02:30:28
			That's why this call is set. We shouldn't
		
02:30:28 --> 02:30:29
			do that.
		
02:30:30 --> 02:30:33
			To claim that you love your kids equally,
		
02:30:33 --> 02:30:34
			Is it possible?
		
02:30:36 --> 02:30:38
			Is it possible to love your children equally?
		
02:30:41 --> 02:30:43
			Is it possible to love them equally? It's
		
02:30:43 --> 02:30:44
			not possible.
		
02:30:45 --> 02:30:45
			Yeah.
		
02:30:46 --> 02:30:49
			You get it? It's not possible because love
		
02:30:49 --> 02:30:51
			is an act of the heart.
		
02:30:52 --> 02:30:54
			Yeah. They have different behaviors. They have different
		
02:30:54 --> 02:30:55
			attitude. They have different needs.
		
02:30:56 --> 02:30:58
			You know, sometimes you value you find yourself
		
02:30:58 --> 02:31:00
			inclining towards this one more than the other
		
02:31:00 --> 02:31:03
			one. So what is wrong is to let
		
02:31:03 --> 02:31:05
			the rest of the kids knowing that you
		
02:31:05 --> 02:31:07
			love this one more than the other one.
		
02:31:08 --> 02:31:10
			But that which is in your heart, only
		
02:31:10 --> 02:31:12
			you knows about that. You will not be
		
02:31:12 --> 02:31:14
			held responsible. It will not affect the kids.
		
02:31:14 --> 02:31:16
			But the moment you started acting upon that
		
02:31:16 --> 02:31:18
			love which is in your heart,
		
02:31:19 --> 02:31:21
			you're going to be favoring this one over
		
02:31:21 --> 02:31:24
			the rest. So you're putting this person into
		
02:31:24 --> 02:31:24
			trouble.
		
02:31:25 --> 02:31:28
			And they're going to be very rebellious against
		
02:31:28 --> 02:31:29
			you.
		
02:31:30 --> 02:31:31
			The moment they can tell you when they
		
02:31:31 --> 02:31:33
			grow older, they will start also resisting
		
02:31:34 --> 02:31:36
			and telling you how they feel when you
		
02:31:36 --> 02:31:37
			favor this one.
		
02:31:38 --> 02:31:41
			And you're not doing good, good to the
		
02:31:41 --> 02:31:42
			to the child because when you die
		
02:31:43 --> 02:31:46
			when you die what will happen? They will
		
02:31:46 --> 02:31:48
			show their true picture and true image to
		
02:31:48 --> 02:31:50
			this one that you used to love. Yeah.
		
02:31:50 --> 02:31:52
			They would tell him, your father used to
		
02:31:52 --> 02:31:54
			favor you, now let's see. What would you
		
02:31:54 --> 02:31:55
			do to live and to survive?
		
02:31:56 --> 02:31:59
			So that's why you have to do everything
		
02:31:59 --> 02:32:02
			possible to help the kids to be one
		
02:32:02 --> 02:32:04
			family, to have the unity amongst them.
		
02:32:04 --> 02:32:07
			Because they can't succeed if this unity is
		
02:32:07 --> 02:32:08
			is not in existence.
		
02:32:10 --> 02:32:11
			Her father was trying
		
02:32:12 --> 02:32:14
			to explain to his kids the importance of
		
02:32:14 --> 02:32:15
			the unity.
		
02:32:16 --> 02:32:17
			He brought
		
02:32:19 --> 02:32:20
			he asked them to
		
02:32:20 --> 02:32:21
			to bring
		
02:32:21 --> 02:32:22
			stick.
		
02:32:24 --> 02:32:25
			Everyone of them should bring a piece of
		
02:32:25 --> 02:32:26
			stick.
		
02:32:27 --> 02:32:29
			When they reach him, he took the stick
		
02:32:29 --> 02:32:31
			from from them. He put them all together
		
02:32:31 --> 02:32:34
			in one place. He tie them, and then
		
02:32:34 --> 02:32:36
			he give it to the first child. He
		
02:32:36 --> 02:32:38
			asked him to break the, yeah,
		
02:32:40 --> 02:32:41
			to break the stick.
		
02:32:42 --> 02:32:43
			He couldn't. Give it to the second one,
		
02:32:43 --> 02:32:45
			he couldn't. 3rd one, he couldn't.
		
02:32:46 --> 02:32:47
			It goes through all of them.
		
02:32:48 --> 02:32:50
			And then he said, okay, give me the
		
02:32:50 --> 02:32:50
			stick.
		
02:32:51 --> 02:32:52
			They gave him those bunch of sticks and
		
02:32:52 --> 02:32:54
			he untie the sticks and he gave each
		
02:32:54 --> 02:32:55
			one of them one stick.
		
02:32:56 --> 02:32:57
			And he asked them to break it.
		
02:32:58 --> 02:32:59
			Very easy they broke everything.
		
02:33:00 --> 02:33:01
			Yeah.
		
02:33:02 --> 02:33:04
			So he told them, I want you to
		
02:33:04 --> 02:33:04
			be united.
		
02:33:06 --> 02:33:07
			And this is your situation when you are
		
02:33:07 --> 02:33:09
			united. You see the way you couldn't break
		
02:33:09 --> 02:33:10
			the stick?
		
02:33:10 --> 02:33:13
			An enemy from outside cannot break you when
		
02:33:13 --> 02:33:13
			you are together.
		
02:33:14 --> 02:33:17
			And trust me, if you don't do this,
		
02:33:17 --> 02:33:18
			you know, for the kids, you help them
		
02:33:18 --> 02:33:20
			to do this, you know, through your actions,
		
02:33:20 --> 02:33:22
			if you are making, you know, differences in
		
02:33:22 --> 02:33:24
			terms of the gift you are giving them,
		
02:33:24 --> 02:33:27
			trust me, that unity will not exist. And
		
02:33:27 --> 02:33:29
			that will be the beginning of the fashion
		
02:33:29 --> 02:33:31
			And somebody to win against them when you
		
02:33:31 --> 02:33:33
			live this life. Yeah. When you are alive,
		
02:33:33 --> 02:33:35
			you will be their protector but when you
		
02:33:35 --> 02:33:36
			live this life, nobody is to do it
		
02:33:36 --> 02:33:38
			for them except themselves and they are not
		
02:33:38 --> 02:33:39
			united.
		
02:33:39 --> 02:33:42
			They will be cooperating against each other to
		
02:33:42 --> 02:33:42
			make sure that
		
02:33:43 --> 02:33:44
			that person fails.
		
02:33:45 --> 02:33:47
			Because I don't like you. Yeah. So it
		
02:33:47 --> 02:33:50
			is necessary when I make gifts to equate
		
02:33:50 --> 02:33:52
			amongst my kids and not to show any
		
02:33:52 --> 02:33:54
			one of them that I love his brother
		
02:33:55 --> 02:33:57
			more than the way I I love him.
		
02:33:57 --> 02:33:58
			And that's why as a father,
		
02:33:59 --> 02:34:00
			who do you side with?
		
02:34:01 --> 02:34:02
			All of your kids.
		
02:34:03 --> 02:34:05
			All of your kids. Side with the kids.
		
02:34:05 --> 02:34:08
			All of them. Even when one of them
		
02:34:08 --> 02:34:08
			is wrong,
		
02:34:09 --> 02:34:12
			you also side with him. You fix him
		
02:34:12 --> 02:34:14
			and you convince the other one that this
		
02:34:14 --> 02:34:16
			is his brother. He shouldn't fight or hate
		
02:34:16 --> 02:34:17
			your brother.
		
02:34:17 --> 02:34:18
			What he did, I agree with you is
		
02:34:18 --> 02:34:20
			wrong and it has to be fixed. And
		
02:34:20 --> 02:34:22
			I will remind him. I will talk to
		
02:34:22 --> 02:34:24
			him and ask him to apologize to him.
		
02:34:25 --> 02:34:27
			Yeah. But don't show any negative behavior towards
		
02:34:27 --> 02:34:29
			the one who did the wrong thing. You
		
02:34:29 --> 02:34:31
			know, teach him how to behave well in
		
02:34:31 --> 02:34:33
			in the future in a nice way. Yeah.
		
02:34:33 --> 02:34:34
			Last
		
02:34:34 --> 02:34:36
			is good. Yes. Next question.
		
02:34:51 --> 02:34:51
			No. Because
		
02:34:52 --> 02:34:54
			Yusuf alaihi salam, he's coming from the other
		
02:34:54 --> 02:34:55
			wife of.
		
02:34:57 --> 02:34:57
			From that side,
		
02:34:58 --> 02:35:00
			we're not told that there was any prophet.
		
02:35:01 --> 02:35:03
			From the wife that she has prophet,
		
02:35:04 --> 02:35:06
			for sure, the behavior of the husband, you
		
02:35:06 --> 02:35:07
			know.
		
02:35:08 --> 02:35:09
			He got a profit from her.
		
02:35:10 --> 02:35:12
			Yeah. So Yakub couldn't control. Although he's not
		
02:35:12 --> 02:35:14
			committing injustice against the other one, but, you
		
02:35:14 --> 02:35:17
			know, loving that side of the family that,
		
02:35:17 --> 02:35:19
			got him a profit, which is a gift
		
02:35:19 --> 02:35:19
			from Allah
		
02:35:24 --> 02:35:25
			in the way he wishes.
		
02:35:26 --> 02:35:28
			So that's why when he loves
		
02:35:28 --> 02:35:30
			that part of the family and it was
		
02:35:30 --> 02:35:32
			only Yusuf and his brother.
		
02:35:33 --> 02:35:35
			But it wasn't because Binyamin was a prophet
		
02:35:35 --> 02:35:35
			of Allah's.
		
02:35:36 --> 02:35:38
			I've never come across a place where Binyamin
		
02:35:38 --> 02:35:39
			is mentioned to be a prophet.
		
02:35:40 --> 02:35:43
			You get it? Yeah. The only Asbat even
		
02:35:43 --> 02:35:45
			Asbat, the correct opinion,
		
02:35:45 --> 02:35:48
			As but actually they are not the
		
02:35:49 --> 02:35:51
			they are not the children of
		
02:35:51 --> 02:35:53
			Yakob Alai Salam.
		
02:35:53 --> 02:35:55
			They are not the children of Yakob.
		
02:36:02 --> 02:36:04
			Amongst them you have the prophet, amongst them
		
02:36:04 --> 02:36:06
			you have non prophet, you have Salihin, you
		
02:36:06 --> 02:36:07
			have Palihin, you have all types.
		
02:36:08 --> 02:36:11
			But the brothers, the siblings of Yusuf alaihi
		
02:36:11 --> 02:36:12
			wasallam were not told
		
02:36:13 --> 02:36:14
			that any one of them was a prophet
		
02:36:14 --> 02:36:15
			of Allah, except
		
02:36:16 --> 02:36:18
			except, what do you call it?
		
02:36:19 --> 02:36:21
			Otherwise, when the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam was
		
02:36:21 --> 02:36:23
			asked who is the best person?
		
02:36:24 --> 02:36:25
			You see, he said Yusuf.
		
02:36:26 --> 02:36:28
			Otherwise he would say Yusuf and Binyami.
		
02:36:28 --> 02:36:30
			But he said Yusuf and his salah. Because
		
02:36:30 --> 02:36:32
			he thought they were asking him about the
		
02:36:32 --> 02:36:32
			lineage.
		
02:36:33 --> 02:36:35
			He said Yusuf was a prophet of Allah,
		
02:36:35 --> 02:36:37
			the son of a prophet, the son of
		
02:36:37 --> 02:36:39
			the prophet, the son of Khalilur Rahman, Ibrahim
		
02:36:39 --> 02:36:42
			alaihi salam. Nobody has this lineage like Yusuf
		
02:36:42 --> 02:36:44
			alaihi salam. He was a prophet. His father
		
02:36:44 --> 02:36:46
			was a prophet, Yaqub Alaihi
		
02:36:47 --> 02:36:49
			Salam. The father of Yaqub was a prophet,
		
02:36:49 --> 02:36:51
			Ishaq Alaihi Salam, and the father of Ishaq
		
02:36:51 --> 02:36:53
			was a prophet, Ibrahim Alaihi
		
02:36:54 --> 02:36:56
			Salam. Nobody is like that. Yeah. That's why
		
02:36:56 --> 02:36:57
			he was asked. Who's the best? He said,
		
02:36:57 --> 02:36:59
			yeah, Yusuf Alaihi Salam.
		
02:36:59 --> 02:37:02
			You get it? So if Binyamin was also
		
02:37:02 --> 02:37:04
			a prophet, he would say, you Yusuf and
		
02:37:04 --> 02:37:04
			Binyamin.
		
02:37:05 --> 02:37:08
			Or Yusuf and the the the the siblings
		
02:37:08 --> 02:37:09
			of Yusuf.
		
02:37:10 --> 02:37:11
			You get it? And also they are not
		
02:37:11 --> 02:37:13
			Aswab. These are the children, the immediate children.
		
02:37:13 --> 02:37:16
			They are not Aswab because Sibbet is the
		
02:37:16 --> 02:37:16
			grandchild.
		
02:37:17 --> 02:37:19
			You get it? Is the grandchild,
		
02:37:21 --> 02:37:21
			you know.
		
02:37:24 --> 02:37:24
			Any
		
02:37:25 --> 02:37:25
			other question?
		
02:37:29 --> 02:37:31
			My question is, come from a place where,
		
02:37:31 --> 02:37:34
			Christianity is more prevalent than, Islam.
		
02:37:34 --> 02:37:36
			It's a a very hard to find a
		
02:37:36 --> 02:37:39
			dual, mode of, education when it comes to
		
02:37:39 --> 02:37:41
			educating their kids like,
		
02:37:41 --> 02:37:43
			they're either left with the choice of being,
		
02:37:44 --> 02:37:46
			in a secular education Enough. And, or either
		
02:37:46 --> 02:37:49
			choosing the Islamic education. Yeah. And most of
		
02:37:49 --> 02:37:52
			their parents, like, the Muslim demographic is mostly
		
02:37:52 --> 02:37:52
			made by,
		
02:37:54 --> 02:37:54
			reverse.
		
02:37:55 --> 02:37:56
			Like, they don't have, like, they don't fit
		
02:37:56 --> 02:37:58
			the qualities that you cited,
		
02:37:58 --> 02:38:02
			that, someone that is giving should have. So
		
02:38:02 --> 02:38:04
			in this place, they are either choosing to
		
02:38:04 --> 02:38:06
			start with a secular education
		
02:38:06 --> 02:38:09
			or either to start with Islamic education in
		
02:38:09 --> 02:38:11
			which if they choose 1 or about the
		
02:38:11 --> 02:38:13
			others, they have to compromise the other. If
		
02:38:13 --> 02:38:14
			they choose the secular education,
		
02:38:15 --> 02:38:15
			they,
		
02:38:16 --> 02:38:18
			will be left behind in Islamic education. If
		
02:38:18 --> 02:38:20
			they choose the Islamic education,
		
02:38:20 --> 02:38:22
			they'd be left behind in the dunya, which
		
02:38:22 --> 02:38:24
			is also much more important.
		
02:38:24 --> 02:38:26
			What's the best way to deal with this
		
02:38:26 --> 02:38:28
			one? Put that through. The first thing is,
		
02:38:29 --> 02:38:31
			as I said earlier, to leave that territory.
		
02:38:31 --> 02:38:33
			Go and live in the Muslim community, whereby
		
02:38:33 --> 02:38:36
			he finds places that are combining both
		
02:38:36 --> 02:38:39
			Dunia and, Islamic education.
		
02:38:39 --> 02:38:41
			And actually this is just to
		
02:38:43 --> 02:38:45
			mention some details. Otherwise,
		
02:38:46 --> 02:38:48
			when you are preserving the religious education also
		
02:38:48 --> 02:38:49
			you are going to be preserving the the
		
02:38:49 --> 02:38:50
			junior
		
02:38:50 --> 02:38:51
			education.
		
02:38:52 --> 02:38:53
			And, this is one of the topics that
		
02:38:53 --> 02:38:54
			I,
		
02:38:54 --> 02:38:57
			wanted to, discuss, the topic of the place
		
02:38:57 --> 02:38:59
			of the education of my kids and the
		
02:38:59 --> 02:39:00
			role of the
		
02:39:00 --> 02:39:03
			school. What role the school should be should
		
02:39:03 --> 02:39:03
			be playing?
		
02:39:04 --> 02:39:07
			And unfortunately, even the Muslim territories, not even
		
02:39:07 --> 02:39:09
			the most the place where you mentioned, non
		
02:39:09 --> 02:39:12
			Muslim territories where it is not easy for
		
02:39:12 --> 02:39:13
			you to find an Islamic,
		
02:39:14 --> 02:39:17
			any oriented education. It's not easy to found,
		
02:39:17 --> 02:39:19
			to be found in those places. But even
		
02:39:19 --> 02:39:21
			in the Muslim territories, what kind of education
		
02:39:21 --> 02:39:23
			do we have? Like what I told you,
		
02:39:24 --> 02:39:26
			our history is based on Copart history.
		
02:39:26 --> 02:39:28
			Many things that we take, we are taking
		
02:39:28 --> 02:39:29
			from them. We don't have our own establishment.
		
02:39:30 --> 02:39:32
			And also the the
		
02:39:33 --> 02:39:35
			the kind of Terbia and the people who
		
02:39:35 --> 02:39:37
			are educating our kids, they are the people
		
02:39:37 --> 02:39:40
			that we know. Doing things for the sake
		
02:39:40 --> 02:39:40
			of business.
		
02:39:41 --> 02:39:42
			There's no amount in education.
		
02:39:43 --> 02:39:45
			That's why an ideal school, which I believe
		
02:39:45 --> 02:39:47
			it is possible to have a school, and
		
02:39:47 --> 02:39:49
			we need it because many of the homeschooling
		
02:39:49 --> 02:39:52
			is good. It's excellent to have homeschooling. It's
		
02:39:52 --> 02:39:52
			interesting,
		
02:39:53 --> 02:39:55
			you know. I also tried it at one
		
02:39:55 --> 02:39:57
			point of time. I found it very interesting.
		
02:39:57 --> 02:39:59
			It's so heavy. If you wanted, you have
		
02:39:59 --> 02:40:01
			to invest a lot, much more than what
		
02:40:01 --> 02:40:03
			you're investing in the
		
02:40:03 --> 02:40:05
			in the school. Because if I if I
		
02:40:05 --> 02:40:06
			go to school,
		
02:40:06 --> 02:40:08
			I pay a few 1,000,
		
02:40:08 --> 02:40:10
			you know, for the whole year, for the
		
02:40:10 --> 02:40:12
			kids. If I'm gonna take somebody to
		
02:40:13 --> 02:40:16
			tutor and educate my kids, each person I
		
02:40:16 --> 02:40:18
			have to take many people. Each person I
		
02:40:18 --> 02:40:20
			have to pay him, sometimes, you know, almost
		
02:40:20 --> 02:40:22
			half of what I'm going to be paying
		
02:40:22 --> 02:40:23
			in the school. And every Monday, I will
		
02:40:23 --> 02:40:24
			be paying this.
		
02:40:25 --> 02:40:27
			Collectively, if you count calculate how much you're
		
02:40:27 --> 02:40:29
			paying is a lot a lot. But it's
		
02:40:29 --> 02:40:30
			worth it.
		
02:40:30 --> 02:40:33
			No problem. But these are the rare situations
		
02:40:33 --> 02:40:33
			whereby,
		
02:40:34 --> 02:40:35
			you know, a person is doing it in
		
02:40:35 --> 02:40:36
			the right way.
		
02:40:36 --> 02:40:37
			However,
		
02:40:37 --> 02:40:40
			in the vast majority of the cases, the
		
02:40:40 --> 02:40:42
			wife is not qualified to educate. The husband
		
02:40:42 --> 02:40:44
			is not qualified to educate. So what kind
		
02:40:44 --> 02:40:46
			of homeschooling are we giving them? That means
		
02:40:46 --> 02:40:48
			we have to bring somebody else to to
		
02:40:48 --> 02:40:51
			interfere. This person, if he is not having
		
02:40:51 --> 02:40:53
			the good terbia we need, trust me, this
		
02:40:53 --> 02:40:55
			is very dangerous because it's gonna be 1
		
02:40:55 --> 02:40:59
			on 1. You know, he's personally addressing your
		
02:40:59 --> 02:40:59
			kids.
		
02:41:00 --> 02:41:02
			Actually worse than when you put your kids
		
02:41:02 --> 02:41:04
			in that environment because the teacher is not
		
02:41:04 --> 02:41:06
			addressing only 1. He's addressing everyone.
		
02:41:07 --> 02:41:09
			The impact is going to be very, very
		
02:41:09 --> 02:41:09
			low.
		
02:41:10 --> 02:41:12
			If we if you are to bring somebody
		
02:41:12 --> 02:41:14
			who will be having direct contact to a
		
02:41:14 --> 02:41:14
			child,
		
02:41:15 --> 02:41:17
			trust me, the influence of this person, if
		
02:41:17 --> 02:41:19
			he is not righteous, he's gonna be much
		
02:41:19 --> 02:41:21
			stronger than what he might be getting from
		
02:41:21 --> 02:41:23
			the from the school.
		
02:41:23 --> 02:41:25
			You get it? So sometimes we gather them
		
02:41:25 --> 02:41:27
			in one place. Somebody's coming to teach them.
		
02:41:27 --> 02:41:29
			If there is no proper supervision, trust me,
		
02:41:29 --> 02:41:31
			let's be honest to ourselves. What is the
		
02:41:31 --> 02:41:33
			difference between this and the school then?
		
02:41:34 --> 02:41:36
			This is also another another school.
		
02:41:37 --> 02:41:39
			Right? Because we gather them in a place,
		
02:41:39 --> 02:41:41
			and we bring all the teachers to come.
		
02:41:41 --> 02:41:42
			What do we have in the school?
		
02:41:43 --> 02:41:45
			Also kids being gathered in the place, and
		
02:41:45 --> 02:41:46
			teachers are coming from all over the place
		
02:41:46 --> 02:41:47
			and teaching.
		
02:41:48 --> 02:41:50
			And also when we gather them in a
		
02:41:50 --> 02:41:52
			place, and we're teaching them the same system
		
02:41:52 --> 02:41:54
			that we are hating. We teach them the
		
02:41:54 --> 02:41:56
			same thing. What are we doing?
		
02:41:57 --> 02:41:59
			That's why I found it interested what one
		
02:41:59 --> 02:42:00
			of them said.
		
02:42:00 --> 02:42:02
			He wasn't even a Muslim. He said it's
		
02:42:02 --> 02:42:03
			just you
		
02:42:04 --> 02:42:07
			giving the government relief rather than the government
		
02:42:07 --> 02:42:09
			teaching your kids but now you are doing
		
02:42:09 --> 02:42:10
			the responsibility of the government. Wallahi,
		
02:42:18 --> 02:42:19
			there is a big need to have a
		
02:42:20 --> 02:42:21
			Wallahi, there is a big need to have
		
02:42:21 --> 02:42:23
			a suitable environment for our kids.
		
02:42:24 --> 02:42:27
			You gotta compromise a lot. Sometimes the kids
		
02:42:27 --> 02:42:29
			when they are at home, always at home.
		
02:42:29 --> 02:42:32
			The behavior sometimes become weird.
		
02:42:32 --> 02:42:35
			Because the parent are not giving them, you
		
02:42:35 --> 02:42:37
			know, the other alternative.
		
02:42:38 --> 02:42:39
			You know, I mean, the other, you know,
		
02:42:39 --> 02:42:41
			thing they need, which is to mingle with
		
02:42:41 --> 02:42:42
			other people,
		
02:42:43 --> 02:42:44
			to grow their smartness,
		
02:42:45 --> 02:42:47
			you know, and to be matured properly. They
		
02:42:47 --> 02:42:49
			don't have this. They always be at home
		
02:42:49 --> 02:42:50
			with their parent.
		
02:42:51 --> 02:42:53
			That's why the level of their experience is
		
02:42:53 --> 02:42:55
			gonna be very low. You see them being
		
02:42:55 --> 02:42:58
			very shy, you know, so much shy. They
		
02:42:58 --> 02:42:59
			cannot be productive outside.
		
02:43:00 --> 02:43:01
			Why? Because they don't go outside.
		
02:43:02 --> 02:43:04
			You get it? So that's why it is
		
02:43:04 --> 02:43:04
			necessary.
		
02:43:05 --> 02:43:07
			Kids are not meant to be at home
		
02:43:07 --> 02:43:09
			all the time. They are supposed to go
		
02:43:09 --> 02:43:10
			out and mix with others.
		
02:43:10 --> 02:43:13
			So we have to create that environment for
		
02:43:13 --> 02:43:14
			them to have a good place to preserve
		
02:43:14 --> 02:43:17
			their akida. And that's why having
		
02:43:17 --> 02:43:19
			our kind of education
		
02:43:19 --> 02:43:20
			is necessary.
		
02:43:21 --> 02:43:23
			Okay. Having our kind of education is necessary.
		
02:43:24 --> 02:43:24
			Whereby,
		
02:43:25 --> 02:43:26
			we excel in both
		
02:43:27 --> 02:43:28
			dunya
		
02:43:28 --> 02:43:29
			and the Aka.
		
02:43:29 --> 02:43:30
			Please
		
02:43:30 --> 02:43:32
			take note on this, you know, not necessarily
		
02:43:32 --> 02:43:34
			writing but put in your brain.
		
02:43:34 --> 02:43:36
			Dunia and Aka and we're maintaining
		
02:43:37 --> 02:43:39
			the balance, you know, between both.
		
02:43:40 --> 02:43:41
			Whereby my child
		
02:43:42 --> 02:43:44
			will graduate from primary school after finishing the
		
02:43:44 --> 02:43:45
			book of Allah and
		
02:43:46 --> 02:43:49
			all the necessary Islamic studies he needs
		
02:43:50 --> 02:43:52
			to become a mini scholar.
		
02:43:52 --> 02:43:54
			He has it before he graduate from the
		
02:43:54 --> 02:43:56
			from the secondary school.
		
02:43:57 --> 02:43:59
			Tell me, which school is like this?
		
02:44:00 --> 02:44:01
			By the time the child goes to the
		
02:44:01 --> 02:44:02
			university,
		
02:44:02 --> 02:44:03
			he's well mannered,
		
02:44:04 --> 02:44:07
			excellent in terms of junior education, and excellent
		
02:44:07 --> 02:44:09
			in terms of academic
		
02:44:09 --> 02:44:11
			education. And we teach the the the kids
		
02:44:11 --> 02:44:14
			also the respect. I told you, nowadays, if
		
02:44:14 --> 02:44:15
			you go to the exam centers, go
		
02:44:16 --> 02:44:18
			go to go to the exam center on
		
02:44:18 --> 02:44:20
			the day students are writing their exams of
		
02:44:20 --> 02:44:22
			Arabic or Islamic studies.
		
02:44:23 --> 02:44:24
			Trust me. I don't want to swear by
		
02:44:24 --> 02:44:27
			Allah but trust me. You'll find only a
		
02:44:27 --> 02:44:29
			few or nobody is there.
		
02:44:30 --> 02:44:32
			And this school is called an Islamic
		
02:44:32 --> 02:44:33
			school.
		
02:44:34 --> 02:44:36
			No child is going for Islamic studies.
		
02:44:37 --> 02:44:39
			What message are we sending them?
		
02:44:40 --> 02:44:42
			That this is not important. But everyone has
		
02:44:42 --> 02:44:43
			to go.
		
02:44:43 --> 02:44:46
			And sit for for math. Everyone has to
		
02:44:46 --> 02:44:47
			go
		
02:44:47 --> 02:44:50
			and do math. Everyone has to go and
		
02:44:50 --> 02:44:52
			do English. Everyone has to go and do
		
02:44:52 --> 02:44:55
			so many other things which are purely dunya
		
02:44:56 --> 02:44:58
			things. It's mandatory. You cannot escape that. But
		
02:44:58 --> 02:45:00
			when it comes to Islamic studies, these are
		
02:45:00 --> 02:45:03
			personal matters. It's a matter of choice. So
		
02:45:03 --> 02:45:04
			what kind of message the school is is
		
02:45:04 --> 02:45:05
			sending?
		
02:45:06 --> 02:45:08
			We don't need this kind of school. We
		
02:45:08 --> 02:45:10
			don't need this type of schools. We need
		
02:45:10 --> 02:45:12
			the school that maintain both. And also as
		
02:45:12 --> 02:45:14
			far as discipline is concerned, we have to
		
02:45:14 --> 02:45:15
			be very serious.
		
02:45:16 --> 02:45:19
			That's why we shouldn't have a business
		
02:45:19 --> 02:45:22
			mentality when we are establishing a school.
		
02:45:24 --> 02:45:25
			Yeah, I know it's very difficult and very
		
02:45:25 --> 02:45:27
			tough, but we shouldn't have business mentality.
		
02:45:28 --> 02:45:29
			If business is the one that is leading
		
02:45:29 --> 02:45:32
			us, trust me, we will not be able
		
02:45:32 --> 02:45:33
			to keep that manner
		
02:45:34 --> 02:45:36
			correctly. We will always be focusing on that
		
02:45:36 -->