Hatem al-Haj – #11 Fiqh of Family – Explaining Verse 4-34 and Polygyny to Skeptics

Hatem al-Haj
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of clarifying the meaning of "lark," which is used to protect husbands and women. They also touch on the use of negative emotions and actions to explain the meaning of words and actions, and the importance of clarifying the meaning of "bringing out" and "naught out" in the Bible. They emphasize the need for apologetic behavior and cultural factors in the decision process to avoid legalization of divorce. They also discuss the issue of "monogamous nations" and the need for women to have a second wife if they do not meet their needs.
AI: Transcript ©
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Da da da, da da, da da to proceed. Like I said, Today inshallah we will try to finish the chapter on parsimony choose which is division and contempt.

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And then we start the chapter on

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termination of marriage, prompted by the wife.

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So, the * at the end of the chapter of classmen issues and he was talking about the case of issues whether it comes from the husband or the wife.

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What if the news comes in from the wife when

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he was in authority Susan Hazara Madoff in La Mirada as Alec farahani.

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If the man fears contempt from his wife, he should exhort her, and if she can, continues to show contempt, he may abandon her in bed.

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If that does not deter her,

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he may hit her lightly. Okay, so basically that's why we defer that because we said that we need to discuss it in some detail and this is one of the issues that probably if you are in our particularly interface or whatever, top of the hour even among Muslims because that have some people still have sort of not complete submission he goes

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this is verse 34. And sort of

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what Allah subhanaw taala says, What

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ba ba

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fasani had to

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Oh yeah, we need this.

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Sorry how to find it out on coffee. Lots of coffee from LA.

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What latty Takapuna Susana

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five ohana.

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seven Mother

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Mother Ivana

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and alacati and Kabira

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So, original would be men,

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come on, come on comes from what

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the standard and column here means, what it means the maintainer and protector,

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but at the same time, we said that, all obligations have corresponding rights or you know, so, the Sensi is the maintainer protector, he will be also the leader. So, it is leadership and protection.

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So, protector

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and this is basically leader in his household. It does not mean that every man is a leader over the woman. You know, if you have kids, you need to teach your man show him that he does not have authority over you know, see, your your your girls are under your authority. They're not under the authority of their men.

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But at one point he will be her guardian if you're not around. in marriage, for instance. He will be her wedding

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and that is part of this but

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It does not mean that he is always a leader like he has an authority over her.

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So protector and leader head on over women,

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me my father the law the because of that which Allah how favorite them was favorite of them was

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and that may be physical strength that may be sort of it may be I'm not saying it may it may be mental strength in certain areas, because there are sort of differences between the mental capacities that may be that would require some studies to be done, but no one will do those studies.

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By but anyway Allah says,

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because of what Allah has favored them with,

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favor them with in in the sense of this leadership and protection

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favoring them to be the protectors to be the power moon. But there could be mental faculties and mental capacities that that men or women are superior in and there are mental capacities or faculties that women have been shown to be superior and such as multitasking, for instance, like the men have this inability to multitask.

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They get sort of subsumed in one task, they can handle two things at a time. So that is a mental capacity that women but when it comes to the mental capacity that is needed for this

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he gave men

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he favored men with whatever is needed for this to be the protectors and the leaders

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Baba Hamada Barack Obama and Falco Mohammadi him and because of their spending

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and because of their spending for slightly heartbroken he doesn't have without a little baby boomer happy Lola. So, Anita here be me with me obedient.

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Sorry, heart would be righteous women

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have evolved a little a bit they protect the husbands or their households in their husbands absence.

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protective of their owner of the property

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in their absence. They might have Ebola.

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Without which Allah had, you know, demanded to be protected. Who allottee Takapuna shows on and ask for those women that you fear their shoes which would be contempt or rebellion that has a contempt

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501 Oven exhort them

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100 Romana thermadata abandon them in bed

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whether Ivana and hit them

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farinata nakoma they obey you?

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fella, Tabata, henna, Sabina then 11 do not transgress or oppress them or suppress them etc.

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Or their natural aggression towards them. So, this is the verse Now,

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when we talk about an issue, when when it is about apologetics, we said that there are three main

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ingredients to any apologetic response that we have to include one of them is clarification, the other one is justification. The third one is application. So if we provided in this sense clarification,

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and application.

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A first thing that we need to do is to clarify what is meant by this

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particularly this, hit them

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okay, and in order for you to do this, we said that this

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that our revelation there are two concepts in our hermeneutical theory that are very important which are intertextuality

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contextuality, intertextuality and contextuality. So you have to expand the context a little bit so that you would be able to understand what is happening here. To expand the context, you go to the beginning of the

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so the beginning of the is talking about men, when men being the protectors, not the abusers.

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So, our moon protectors, they are standing there, to take care of their women or their wives, to maintain them and to take care of them. So they have that position of leadership, but they are protectors.

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The other thing is that

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the verse talks about an extreme condition, which is no shoes and that's rebellion, or contempt, that is extreme contempt or rebellion.

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That is the context that this verse talks about here or provides the ease and then it provides gradual sort of action plan.

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And it calls for a complete cessation of any measures,

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corrective measures, once there has been

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sort of

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once the the the wife refrains from rebellion and contempt, which isn't issues, certainly this new shows we're talking about. We're not talking about a good nice woman here. We're talking about a rebellious woman who's acting wild.

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Not because she's having a bad day, and she's screaming because that is basically not unusual.

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Here's the American hot tub, someone came down a hot tub and he saw that he heard his wife screaming and and even you know, have sort of the lawn as a term or the lawn and when not happy, hieratic I think Amaz wife, she said llamada de la who like

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when he said to her, though, don't talk back to me. And she said to him, what did he say like even the wives of the Prophet of Southern talk back to him? And he wonder they do and he went to the house and he said, Do you really talk back? She said yes.

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So So the idea here, the idea of no shoes itself.

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This would be really rebellion. This would be a real sort of extreme contempt and revolt or billion. Whenever the prophet SAW Southern mentioned this.

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The you know, the hadith of Jabba Hadees that's reported by Muslim from the hadith of Hadith, Radha

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Radha hadith of HUD's including Radha Wanaka mala in

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Photoshop, I had an takahama no fame fan

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and it is your right upon them that they do not allow on your furniture or your beds, someone that you dislike, allow someone you dislike to sit on your furniture or your or your beds, because photos photos could be this it could be that

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and if they do, then you can hit them likely barbell mobile head them lightly.

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Okay. So it has to be a major problem, you know, a major offense.

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So, that is the immediate context here the immediate context. And while we are here, while we are in this immediate context, then why are we not translating them this as Vietnam? Because what we have that is traceable to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, and the Sahaba gonna lay him, you know, and the understanding of the Sahaba did want to lay him relay that they relayed from the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is that this does not mean beat, because he said Dharma VEDA Mubarak which means lightly and Abdullah webinar best said Macron OBC vaquera he is with

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And some of the scholars said would better sell which is this the end of the garment,

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as if it is symbolic, as if it is symbolic and this is what we have that is traceable this high to the promises and to the companions in this. So so when we translate this

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We have to keep this in mind. Because that is what it meant. It's a did not mean beat, for sure.

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Okay. But this is only the context of this particular verse that was in the chapter of an ISA, the chapter that is called Women, that has all kinds of rights for women that has all kinds of protection for women, very successful started by men being the protectors of women, and so on. So this is not within the context of physical abuse, or as some people may do,

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whether they are in the east or west, or they're Muslim, or non Muslim, has nothing to do with this.

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What is this?

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This is a permanent marker with,

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oh, it's wet.

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So we're extending, we're still hearing clarification, we're just doing the clarification of this particular verse a year.

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But we are still. So when we talk about intertextuality.

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Talk about intertextuality, then we would have to widen the context a little bit more

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and go to other

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I'm not going to use this marker, then go to other verses in the Quran. So in serata room, the overall environment in the Muslim family that has been described is the this is the context, this is the larger context, the larger context luminati and halakhah document as well. Roger let us go to La da da da da, da da da, in a vertical economy. I

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mean, I T.

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And Chanukah

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men and forsaken

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as well.

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It is kuno

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in a vertical

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column. And it is one of his signs

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that he created

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for you,

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men and for SQL

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from yourselves.

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And this is an this is an important piece, by the way. Because for some time and Europe, even in the church, there was always this discussion whether women have the same souls as men or not. And they agree that you know, and this was maybe

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how many centuries back but this was not

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up until 1100s. And so on it the discussion was still raging whether men or women have human souls, women have human souls, and they agree that they have human souls but they inferior, but Allah subhanaw taala in the Quran, this minute and physical is repeated in the Quran, in several places of yourselves, of yourselves of the same soul. So it is

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that is that has been repeated in the Quran. You don't basically now pay much attention to it, but that was being discussed. That was a controversial issue. And the Quran is responding to it as well then which means mates that is going to rely in dwell with them and peace and tranquility. Because that is what second is Sakina remember Sakina the station of Sakina so second is the wellworth and peace and tranquility. Ilaha Watanabe neckerman he put between you mo Adorama. Nevada is compassion. What Akuma is what? mercy. So why did he say as a gentleman

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rachna because nowadays in the good times, and Rama is in the bad times,

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you show compassion to people that

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you know here

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you love. But even if you don't, you have to show Rama so it's either this or that not there is in the good times and the bad times.

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And if you go back to sort of Anissa itself,

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Allah subhanaw taala

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says you actually Saraswathi Romana and maruf incarnata mahana fossa and

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V fire Anca Sera,

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Sera maruf and live with them according to reason or in kindness, you could say within reason, and you could say kindly because we said model could actually mean both. So,

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the morrow mean sensibly means kindly means both

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Why should one and maruf encouraged to move on and even if you dislike them, because the idea here is that not all women are righteous good women,

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we have to agree on this also. So, evil is not a lot of men only some women also are evil.

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So, Fang functionable, moto Fang character Mohan and if you dislike them, you may dislike a thing and a lot puts their end much good. See the, the there is nothing beyond this like even if you dislike them, try to live with them.

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To give them kind of companionship and to live with him kindly and sensibly, because you made us like a thing and a lot but there ain't much good.

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So, this is the wider context and we said that the meaning of every bone has been explained.

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Now that we are saying the spark of the clarification is to say that some of the modern scholars, some of the modern scholars said that reborn means leave them abandoned. Another liberal secular Hong Kong, soft property, Vancouver, Microsoft, and quantum common Missouri may have another Ivanka Microsoft How should we then turn away during the decline the revelation from you that you are

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that you because you are criminal people or uncommon monogamy?

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Because of your criminality, I found out that Ivanka music is of higher.

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So what does that mean?

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You know, it does that mean?

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hit the deck. Now that Ivanka was the mother of executor does that mean beat the thick? No, it means turn it away, move it away from you. You have a bona fide RDF tournament

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for the tournament,

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and there would be a certain Muslim,

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Corona, Corona Avila and others who will be very bona fide are they which means that they travel through the land. So that becomes from could be beating or hating. But it could also be to leave, to abandon, to walk away, stuff like that.

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It is important that you include this in your response that some people said that some contemporary researchers said that.

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But we are

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trying to clarify here the position that the traditional position, because anyone who has tasted like proper taste in the language will not think that this is actually meant to leave them or walk away.

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Meaning walk away completely. They're saying, you know, and some of the people some of the people who wrote on this,

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of the contemporary search or some of them are good friends of mine below. And you know, they're not ready

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and are really bad people. They're, they're good people, and they're one of them as a professor and as hard

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The idea here is they're saying that hedgerow one means abandon them in bed, ohana, leave the whole house, you know, so just

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I guess it's a this is this is new, this is not how it has been explained

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in the tradition, a Bible Sahaba because blah blah best when he says the premises are observed, but one of the

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best says

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macoun misiak when we they understood this domain hit them. So you want to insert this? Why for the people who who will be able to handle your explanation and your justification of the apparent meaning. Maybe they have a straw to hang on to until they recover, and they develop more sense of certainty, and then they become just full blown submitters.

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So we're standing here on the clarification and the clarification, if you're if we're setting the clarification, we're trying to clarify the position. This is one of the things of course, an Eon should have like a great difficulty with, you know, the people who don't believe in the Sunnah of the Prophet awesome.

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Because this is the only thing that is in the Quran, and it's quite obvious, it's basically the obvious, and they always say the obvious thing, you know, interpretation of the Quran and so on, and you don't need commentators. And you don't need the tradition to explain it. And you don't Okay, well, here you go. This is the poor. And

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if you don't want the surgeon and now to explain that this is light hitting, and if you don't want the Senate to explain that this is limited in extreme conditions, and in this and

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then that's all you have here, but the sun. In this particular case, it seems that the prophet SAW Selim because of his nature, this is one of the things that were difficult for him.

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And we know that sometimes, you know, the puranam would say to the prophets, lots of them, you know,

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you should have done it this way. Because some things that prophets nature

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is adverse to hitting women, the prophets nature is averse to it. Now, when this comes in the revelation alized setting em sometimes there is a wisdom that we can explain later, even though your nature is averse to it, because if you look at all everything that came from the prophets of Solomon, his tradition, you will find him forbidding hidden. So the one time that he's allowed it, and he said barbaric Ira mbarara was a major crime. What are what are comala en la, Nina photocycle Mahajan, taka hoonah hufa in further above,

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that is that you're right upon them, that they do not allow on your furniture or your beds, someone that you dislike, and if they do, then hit them lightly. But anything else the Prophet wasallam said about this seems to indicate that he was quite uncomfortable with this.

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So one time he said, Be malleable and this was reported by Bukhari, the motherboard hadoken Raja who barbell factory, some Malala who you are Anika the Malibu hadoken merata who?

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Daughter balfa

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some Na Na La Jolla Anika

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so why

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are How can

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one of you the other heads or beats here?

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How can one of you and burrata who his wife

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darbus daughter but family is the study in camel. Like he beats his daddy in camel, some Lala who Yakuza and then maybe thereafter he will embrace her or he won't have intimacy with her. So he's trying to basically

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highlight for them the inconsistency here. Sort of the difficulty here in this relationship, how could you beat her and then hug her?

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It seems you know the problems are saying it's either this or that. But how do you have How do you have it in you that you beat your wife and then hug her? What kind of hugging is this

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Because he was trying to highlight how

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emotionally disturbed this picture or emotionally inconsistent, this picture is that this was important about the quality. There is a couple of bodies that are reported by

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others, you know.

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One of them is where the prophet SAW Sutherland says lottery boom Allah don't hit the SIR the IMA Allah, the servant women of Allah subhanaw taala. And this is just like a clear prohibition, lack of

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a man Allah

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Do not hit

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the servants of Allah or the slave women of Allah, slave women of Allah.

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And then the other hand is the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, Prophet the Ali Mohammed Laila sobro number 11 St. Tina, Barbara Tito, aka raccoon, Taka, big Mohammed Laila, Verona, Umbra, Aquila, Sakina, Dora

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aka era calm, they have come to the wives of the the messenger Salatu, salam to tonight 70 women 70 is used to indicate

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a large number. So 70 women, all of them were complaining of how hitting or beating and you will not find those women and men, whether that is you know what actually, you will not find those men to be among your best, you will not find those meant to be among Gearbest. So, that is basically clarification that is as far as clarification is concerned.

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And then you move on to justification. But at the end of the day, we understand the limited circumstances we understand light hitting, we understand that the Prophet was averse to it. But at the end of the day, why was prescribed justification and justification here. The the obvious thing here is that it was basically a last resort before the complete breakdown of the family.

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It was another corrective measure to delay or stop the, you know the most undesirable outcome of divorce. It is another corrective measure it is like someone who was walking next to the cliff and about to fall jump off or fall off the cliff. And if they are about to fall off the cliff or intentionally jump off the cliff and destroy this family that there may be children involved and maybe, you know the stakes are high.

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You're not you're likely not going to tell them you know, come back you're just gonna grab them and pull them back there. It will look violent when you're trying to grab them off the cliff. It does look violent, you may actually beat them. You may actually you know, wrestle them down because they're jumping off the cliff. So it seems that it is a last corrective measure after his or her 501 Gerardo from Nevada, last corrective measure, measure. So last corrective measure.

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But from what the prophet sallallahu Sallam said, it seems that it is not prescribed for all women. And it is not done by all men. It seems that it is very culture and class dependent as well. It is a it's just like culturally dependent. It is not basically something that

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would be prescribed for all women. And it is not something that is done by all men. Because the prophet SAW Selim himself never did it. The prophet SAW Selim himself forbade people from doing it. The prophets of Salaam himself said what are that you don't have like a theocracy, you will not find those men to be among your best. So

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that cultural

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factor here is important because not all people are, you know, they have the same sort of

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not all people have the same norms, the same customs and the same sort of feelings toward

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These things that it may be, you know, hitting some women may be so devastating and detrimental to the relationship that it would be, it would be

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best if you move from abandonment and bear to divorce skip that particular

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sort of measure

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because if you use it, it may be even more devastating to the relationship that it would make it in

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on sour in like bad terms. So, just skip and move to the next which is divorce.

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So, cultural the culture factor has to be the last corrective measure. And last corrective measure needs to be sort of

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what, forceful, forceful, and the cultural factor is

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involved here. Now, part of the justification is also to say, so, why are we not allowing women to do the same thing.

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There's a last corrective measure and you want to avoid the eventuality of divorce and bring people off the from the cliff from the edge of the cliff.

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So, why can she do the same thing or I can actually beat him Why is not prescribed for well, because of logistical difficulties.

00:36:38 --> 00:36:43

Because it may not be possible and it may not be also in her best interest to do it.

00:36:46 --> 00:37:09

But, keep in mind, keep in mind, that the Sukira Kamala was a great medical scholar that right explicitly that if he beats her hits her, she can take him to court and then he would be beaten for her. So like if he so that they talked about beating him also.

00:37:10 --> 00:37:15

But they did not tell her to go ahead and beat him because that they may be unsafe for her.

00:37:17 --> 00:37:21

But they said that she could go to court and then he would be beaten for her.

00:37:22 --> 00:37:23

So yes.

00:37:29 --> 00:37:33

Once you get to quarter the, they will not beat you them as well.

00:37:38 --> 00:37:43

But you should beat with them, you should hit with them as work and I'm not saying you should.

00:37:45 --> 00:37:52

But that is what is prescribed if she takes you to court, they don't have that much muscle, they have legs, they have steaks,

00:37:53 --> 00:37:57

you know and they have they have their own tools and those places.

00:37:59 --> 00:38:09

But anyway, so the culture factor. So but this is so reciprocation, you know, we talked about reciprocation here in that context,

00:38:10 --> 00:38:13

there is to some degree of reciprocation.

00:38:16 --> 00:38:31

But then, okay, so now we're saying that this is this is light hitting, it's almost symbolic, it is the you know, it was forceful, symbolically forceful, because you're trying to bring someone from the edge of the cliff and you're trying to

00:38:32 --> 00:38:38

prevent them from falling off or jumping off the edge of the cliff.

00:38:41 --> 00:39:20

But at the end of the same, you know, the end of the day, then the question is, did this legislation or this verse, contribute to what we are abused that we are seeing among Muslims, that the first contribute? Okay. Because you can say as much as you want, but it does not seem that Muslims are abiding by this. It seems that Muslims violate the all of these regulations and all of the nice talk. It seems that Muslims violated so that the verse can tribute to what is happening.

00:39:24 --> 00:39:34

Okay, certainly as a Muslim You certainly the natural thing is that is we can't accuse a last minute Ivan justice as a Muslim but in order for you

00:39:35 --> 00:39:55

to do apologetics, you will need to come from a point of impartiality because the person that is listening to you does not believe in the authority of the Quran does not believe that it came from God. You can just simply tell them absolutely not. But tell me how. Explain to me so

00:39:57 --> 00:39:59

the idea here is that said

00:40:00 --> 00:40:03

are usually not waiting for validation.

00:40:04 --> 00:40:50

Before they submit their sin, they always look for validation retrospectively. So now it did not contribute, because in other societies and other cultures, were certainly, you know, I have like enhanced. I think I have the answer on my, on my website. And I quote all of the verses in the Bible that are pertinent here and you could go over them, because that is part part of this part of doing apologetics is the same I contribute on Rousseau, I was not something new among the messengers, or any different from the rest of the messengers. So part of this is to bring the biblical precedent. But

00:40:52 --> 00:41:13

you know, in the Bible, for instance, if a woman is married, gets married to like, a man who gets married to a woman and does not find her version, then he the, he will stone her to death. We don't have this we even have, we were even said that, you know, virginity is something that can be that

00:41:15 --> 00:41:28

can be lost by like a jumper, like trauma, or something of that nature, we don't actually consider the loss of virginity to be an indication of immorality whatsoever. So But anyway,

00:41:29 --> 00:41:50

that's what do you want, you will need to say here is that one out of four women in the US with all the protections and all the laws and everything, one out of four men in the US will be subject to domestic abuse, based on the correlation on the you know, domestic abuse and violence.

00:41:51 --> 00:42:21

One out of four women, that is that is huge. That's the, you know, one out of four, was the subject to domestic abuse. And the numbers I may have had, I shared the numbers with you some of the numbers of the right, and the note that I sent to you. So just go over those numbers. And then certainly, you could look them up online, could look up at the the sort of the rates of homicide

00:42:23 --> 00:42:28

women that are given by relatives, and so on.

00:42:29 --> 00:42:38

He don't need my numbers, you could just google them yourself. So no, it is not true that the variance itself contributed because

00:42:39 --> 00:42:59

centers whether they are Muslim or not Muslim or east or in the eastern West, they are more they are moved by their sort of biases, by their aggression by their wickedness and so on. And then they look for validation or vindication thereafter. And

00:43:00 --> 00:43:13

certainly, they will not find the vindication in this verse based on everything that we said and based on the explanation that we said they will not find any vindication in this verse.

00:43:14 --> 00:43:22

So now, we come to the last point here, which is what the point of application

00:43:23 --> 00:43:25

okay. So, since

00:43:27 --> 00:43:32

and this this is where there will be a lot of disagreement here.

00:43:35 --> 00:43:36

How do we apply this

00:43:37 --> 00:43:42

and certainly the majority would say, it will remain the way it

00:43:44 --> 00:43:54

always was, as a basically a corrective measure to be implemented sometimes in certain scenarios, in certain cases,

00:43:57 --> 00:44:08

by certain men with certain women. So it is not a generalized sort of prescription for everyone. It's culturally dependent.

00:44:09 --> 00:44:20

And that's it. And we will continue to say that means light hitting after all corrective measures failed to basically prevent the marriage from the solution.

00:44:23 --> 00:44:24

And also

00:44:25 --> 00:44:34

certain men, certain women, while the other some are saying some of the scholars said

00:44:35 --> 00:44:37

that when a particular

00:44:38 --> 00:44:59

law or when a particular instruction is mis understood or mis applied, you could actually put restrictions on it. Because Keep in mind, Allah is not making this an obligation so that you cannot put a restriction on it. Allah is making this an option.

00:45:00 --> 00:45:10

So, when something is optional, can you put restrictions on it? Some are saying that like at this level of metal layer, if you have,

00:45:11 --> 00:45:12

now you put this

00:45:17 --> 00:45:19

layer has been added by if you have

00:45:22 --> 00:45:24

this is what the prophets outside of themselves

00:45:26 --> 00:45:33

Allah, when not sanctify, Allah will not

00:45:34 --> 00:45:35


00:45:37 --> 00:45:38

and he nation

00:45:41 --> 00:45:50

that does not, protect, procure claim, the fund protect the rights of the poor, the weak.

00:45:58 --> 00:46:15

So, if a lot of times the financial and we do know that men have become just like armor impose the three divorces on men when they were being like, sort of hasty and abusive of the three divorce or

00:46:18 --> 00:46:21

with given like three divorce pronouncements.

00:46:22 --> 00:46:33

They're saying that if we see that men are violating the teachings of the Quran, and they are not abiding by the guidelines

00:46:35 --> 00:46:36

that we may

00:46:38 --> 00:46:40

ban hitting.

00:46:43 --> 00:46:48

We may ban hitting and in this way we will be restricting a MOBA

00:46:49 --> 00:46:57

not contradicting or not, you know, not repealing laws, we are restricting.

00:46:58 --> 00:47:00

And he didn't move.

00:47:01 --> 00:47:18

Or the restriction of MOBA is within the capacity of the pond authorities, that the the restriction of them is within the capacities capacity of the authorities. And that is what the share of national

00:47:20 --> 00:47:36

and others like him, but he's the most prominent and first to actually say this and he was a great scholar, Tunisian scholar, who has a great tafsir book called The fear of now Sure, one of the best Tafseer books ever written.

00:47:39 --> 00:47:39


00:47:44 --> 00:47:58

that's that's as far as application is concerned, and whether or not you agree with the steak, but it is out there and you want to include it in your response, if you're doing apologetics.

00:48:01 --> 00:48:08

That brings us to the end of this discussion, which took the whole, you know,

00:48:10 --> 00:48:11

45 minutes,

00:48:12 --> 00:48:14

maybe a little less.

00:48:16 --> 00:48:28

And we only have seven minutes. So we are not going to start with a chapter on kata today and we will defer it until next time, but since we are doing apologetics, we did not talk about

00:48:29 --> 00:48:32

Todd to the soldier polygyny.

00:48:35 --> 00:48:46

And this was the Chapter This was the relevant chapter which was the chapter on Cosmo and Xu is a division between co wives and shoes which is

00:48:49 --> 00:48:50

suited to the zodat. And

00:48:52 --> 00:48:56

the first thing that you want to say when it comes to the auditors Our job

00:48:57 --> 00:49:47

is that not going to be that narrow. So how is not any different from the messengers? You know, people are very unreal, if, if you're reading in your Bible that Ibrahim can have many wives and yaku had many wives and they would have many wives, and a man had many wives and so on. And whether or not you called the prophets, at least they are in some sense messengers. They conveyed a message from God to man songs, the songs as part of your Bible. Don't call them you can call them King David, that's fine. But did you try and trust him to relay a message to you from God? And you put that message in here the Bible? Yes. So whether you call them prophet or king, you know, that's your

00:49:47 --> 00:49:49

problem. He was a prophet for sure.

00:49:51 --> 00:49:59

But at least from your perspective, he's a messenger relayed a message from God and it is not limited to him. It's pretty much everyone. It's pretty much everyone.

00:50:01 --> 00:50:08

You started there, and you start there. And you also add to this is that Islam was the first to put a cap.

00:50:10 --> 00:50:15

Islam was the first to put a cap on the cap of the four wives.

00:50:16 --> 00:50:21

And then you could certainly you get you get into your Encyclopedia biblica. And you could

00:50:22 --> 00:50:37

have historically, you know, the Jews and how for how long the Jews continue to have polygynous relationships and some of the Christians also in different cultures and different places, and so on and so forth. So you may want to start there.

00:50:38 --> 00:51:08

So this is nothing new about Islam, except to the cap. The only thing that's new about Islam is the restriction it limited it to four before that none of the Scriptures talked about any restriction or limitation. Now, having said that, the second thing that you want to say is that we don't know of any monogamous nations, because it is either polygamous and halal or polygamous and Haram. But it we like

00:51:09 --> 00:51:36

this idea of purely monogamous No, people who can then polygamy all the time, are the people who have, you know, the sort of the largest rates of infidelity. So there are cultures that find polygamy to be most like a pourraient. And, you know, repulsive are the same cultures that have much

00:51:37 --> 00:51:56

you know, and be before a, you know, in the hypocrisy of people is just like, astounding, like certainly before they people, their scandals will come out in the open, they will be the most sort of

00:51:58 --> 00:52:08

aggressive in critiquing polygamy when they're having multiple relationship, secretive relationships with mistresses, who have no rights whatsoever.

00:52:11 --> 00:52:15

And sort of feel demoralized.

00:52:17 --> 00:52:49

And then that's led that is really extreme justice, that those injustice to those women. So this is the second thing after American to be Donna Rasul and biblical precedent is to talk about No, we're not there. You know, when it comes to compare Egypt, for instance, and whatever, Egypt and France, you will find a lot more people a lot more men having polygamous relationships in France than Egypt. So

00:52:50 --> 00:53:05

then, he talks about why was it legislated? Why was it permitted in the first place by God in any of the religions and all of their religions? Why was it permitted?

00:53:06 --> 00:53:15

And you have the answers. That's why I didn't discuss polygamy because it seems that this is one of the issues that people are most diverse.

00:53:17 --> 00:53:18

Muslim Where?

00:53:20 --> 00:53:25

Okay, so one of the things you know, when it comes to polygamy, one of the things is that

00:53:27 --> 00:54:00

a larger scale, it is basically the ratio of men to women. Often the ratio of men to women is in favor of women, there are more women than men. And in order for you to protect the interests of those women to have their rights fulfilled, to have their needs fulfilled. You need to legislate polygamy. After World War Two, there were women protesting in the streets asking for the legalization of polygamy. You know, that the Senate in Utah

00:54:02 --> 00:54:05

legalized recently, a couple of weeks ago.

00:54:07 --> 00:54:14

polygamy has been legalized by the Senate and us a couple of weeks ago. I know how for how long this will last but

00:54:15 --> 00:54:21

but but there were women after world war two who were asking for the legalization of polygamy.

00:54:24 --> 00:54:30

And that, because men die in wars, and because usually the ratio

00:54:31 --> 00:54:57

would be surplus of women and those women have rights and they need the rights to be fulfilled. And they need the rights to be fulfilled without being demoralized without feeling that they are, you know, mistresses that they just want to feel as legitimate partners. So that was the ratio issue that hasn't emerged much larger scale. And then if you come to the individual at the individual level

00:54:59 --> 00:55:00


00:55:00 --> 00:55:13

Because of the sort of the hegemony of feminism nowadays, it is, you know, you want to always justify things from the perspective of the women.

00:55:14 --> 00:55:26

Because this is where the attack is coming from, against organized religion against all religions against tradition against, because it seems that feminism wants to rewrite,

00:55:27 --> 00:55:43

sort of all the history and conventions and norms and customs and everything. And I'm not condemning feminism, as a blanket sort of condemnation of all feminism, because as we said before, we don't fight with terminology and feminism

00:55:44 --> 00:56:12

is against oppression, we are against oppressing women, feminism is against discrimination, we are against discrimination. And feminism says, you know, equal pay for equal work, we are all for equal pay for equal work. Because it's injustice otherwise, is Oh, but, but certainly there are rogue elements without within that movement, that are completely just out of their mind.

00:56:16 --> 00:56:21

So going back to, from the woman's perspective, like,

00:56:22 --> 00:56:42

I know a case like this, you know, I personally know a case like this. And then you can also generalize from this case, like a brother who got married to a sister, and a few months after their marriage, she was found to have stage four cancer.

00:56:44 --> 00:56:50

And she would, she was very quickly unable to fulfill any of his needs.

00:56:51 --> 00:56:57

And his parents and his family told him to divorce her and marry another woman.

00:57:00 --> 00:57:10

So, if your wife gets diagnosed with cancer, like you are, as a young man, and your wife gets diagnosed with cancer, a few months into the marriage,

00:57:12 --> 00:57:50

what would be the best option here? Let's say that she will live for 10 years, and sometimes that can happen 15 years, but she will be unable to fulfill any of your needs, not cancer, multiple sclerosis, anything quickly, what would be the best option for this man, you could always say that he needs to be do the full end to help his wife serve his wife forever and sort of forget about his biological needs, forget about anything and just serve as wife, most men will not be able to do that is not going to be possible for most men.

00:57:52 --> 00:58:28

So should he have listened? And he consulted me, by the way? And should he have listened to his parents who said divorce her, you know how to take care of her. You're not God, the laws more merciful. They're not that people. It's not like the hater or anything. But they're saying that you are a young man, you need to have a family, you did not get married for this, you know, so allowed to take care of her, her family will take care of her, she will go back to her family, they will look after her they'll take care of her and so on. So, I don't think that this is the best sort of

00:58:29 --> 00:58:30


00:58:31 --> 00:58:33

or response to the strategy.

00:58:35 --> 00:58:41

That is one of the cases where polygamy would would certainly shine

00:58:42 --> 00:58:43

as an alternative

00:58:45 --> 00:58:53

to to staying and depriving himself of all of his needs or walking away and returning her to her family to take care of her.

00:59:02 --> 00:59:07

Well, if he has cancer or multiple sclerosis, then she can always ask for divorce.

00:59:08 --> 00:59:39

She can always ask for divorce because we if he is unable to fulfill her needs, that is, as we will say in the chapter of hula, there are in the Hanbury method for instance, there are certain things that you could that we would be granted divorce for without needing holla without giving up any of her rewrites. So one of them is what, sir, unable to maintain her insolvency.

00:59:42 --> 00:59:49

One of them is what a libel viewability that sonica So, you know the facts or

00:59:52 --> 00:59:59

the facts that that constitute the cause for the annulment of the marriage, even if they arise after the marriage

01:00:00 --> 01:00:06

Even if they arise after marriage, one of them one unexcused absence.

01:00:08 --> 01:00:34

One of them what he learned, which is the oath of abandonment after half of them after four months. So, these are four different causes that would that would get her a divorce, not a corner had divorce according to enforce divorce, okay, but then you would say, so, why Can she keep more than one man?

01:00:35 --> 01:00:50

Why is there no reciprocation here? Why are we saying that, because that would not work, because anyone in his right mind understands that this is this is a historical This is and

01:00:51 --> 01:00:57

if it happened in the history, it is extremely rare, and it is not,

01:00:58 --> 01:01:10

it is just not sensible, everybody understand this. And, you know, all women would understand what it is just not in them to be basically keep multiple partners at the same time.

01:01:13 --> 01:01:18

So, that is, that is the, that's another reason you know, when

01:01:21 --> 01:01:25

basically when the wife is unable to fulfill the needs of the man,

01:01:27 --> 01:01:28


01:01:29 --> 01:01:34

this can extend also and then we will get into more controversy here.

01:01:35 --> 01:01:44

And, but, but sometimes, sometimes the wives become this interested in

01:01:46 --> 01:01:47

this stuff.

01:01:48 --> 01:01:55

Sometimes after, after sometime, the wives have a certain sort of phase,

01:01:57 --> 01:02:11

they just become this interested before then their their men become this interested, particularly when they have kids and so on. And then they're all of their attention is

01:02:12 --> 01:02:15

on their kids, and then their kids grow up.

01:02:16 --> 01:02:21

And they just get this interested in that whole thing. You know, the marital relationships.

01:02:22 --> 01:02:28

And they are like, soudha, you know, she was not interested in that part of it.

01:02:29 --> 01:02:34

And they they just wanted for the companionship, but the man really is still interested

01:02:36 --> 01:02:46

in the stuff. And that would be another reason to further legislation. when when when the wife loses interest

01:02:49 --> 01:02:52

and the man feels that his needs are not fulfilled.

01:03:04 --> 01:03:23

Okay, and then we let's, but you don't need to go with me all the way down because we have enough already we're done. Case made, we're done. If you're still with me, that's fine. If I lost you, it's fine too, because we're done a long time ago.

01:03:27 --> 01:03:30

Now, what if the man really is

01:03:31 --> 01:03:33

just has like,

01:03:35 --> 01:03:38

extra virility like this like,

01:03:39 --> 01:03:58

has like Shabbat, pungency, etc. What do we tell him in this case? Like, you know, there aren't those men that just tell them this is a big deal, you know, this is they're just very focused on this, you just can't take their mind off of it.

01:04:00 --> 01:04:07

And what if they feel that their needs are not fulfilled, are not met, or not satisfied?

01:04:08 --> 01:04:19

Is it better? Is it better for women, that those men go out and have a second wife? Or a third wife?

01:04:20 --> 01:04:21


01:04:22 --> 01:04:44

is it better even for the first wife that her husband is married? The second woman and any righteous woman really would say, whatever, will basically have the right answer for this, because if a woman says that, no, I would rather my husband to go out and have her arm relationship with mistresses than she does have a problem.

01:04:48 --> 01:04:59

It's an egotistic response. It is not a God fearing response. But anyway, this is also something that that is there. But if you don't agree with this one, you have many other

01:05:00 --> 01:05:00


01:05:01 --> 01:05:05

many other justifications for this legislation.

01:05:08 --> 01:05:17

We did say we did talk about needs and we also, you know, sterility also is one of these things when like if a woman does not really

01:05:19 --> 01:05:19


01:05:21 --> 01:05:27

and we came here and Allah said if the man does not conceive, that is a defect, and that's what happens.

01:05:29 --> 01:05:33

If the man does not conceive, that is a defect that would justify for a woman

01:05:35 --> 01:05:38

an annulment of divorce,

01:05:39 --> 01:05:54

and annulment fast, you know, termination that is considered an annulment. Why? Because, like I said, a woman having multiple partners will never work. And we don't need even to spend time on

01:05:56 --> 01:06:09

sort of refuting that possibility. But if the woman so she will ask for divorce because it is a need. motherhood is a need. One having a child is a need

01:06:10 --> 01:06:11

for the man.

01:06:12 --> 01:06:17

We will just start and don't divorce your wife stay with your wife.

01:06:18 --> 01:06:23

It's unkind to divorce her because she doesn't have kids. But if you really need to have children,

01:06:25 --> 01:06:31

then that is where polygamy as has been legislated for. Finally,

01:06:34 --> 01:06:35

when when the laws

01:06:37 --> 01:06:40

forbid polygamy when it is unlawful,

01:06:41 --> 01:06:47

then we discourage people who can may say haram did something that Allah made.

01:06:48 --> 01:07:05

We cannot do this, but we do discourage people from it. When it is not legal, because of the harm that will ensue. the harm that they will bring about not only to themselves, but also to their community, if their community is perceived as

01:07:06 --> 01:07:09

a non law abiding community

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