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#11 Fiqh of Family – Chapter on Division and Contempt

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Hatem al-Haj

Channel: Hatem al-Haj

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah in order to proceed.

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So, inshallah Today we will try to cover and we have some time

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to try and cover the

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rest of this chapter though this whole chapter of Ebola or abandonment and

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maybe the whole chapter on division and contempt or rebellion and small issues

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with American Allah who died in the year 620, after hedger said in his book alarm, which is somebody manual

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under the chapter of assertiveness, assertiveness or the treatment of women.

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Do remember that we finished the rights of the husband last time and today we will talk about the rights of the wife.

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She started by saying with a father.

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And if she does that, if she basically discharged her obligations towards her husband that we have talked about last time, we've talked about the right to intimacy and obedience. And we talked about the issue of service.

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And keep in mind that the issue of service is different from homemaking in general like it, the service we're talking about serving Him.

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Certainly, I mean, if she is not going to do anything, she would not eat herself. He has not demanded to serve her.

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So it is in service and homemaking are a little bit different. child rearing is not included on the service. Because as a mother she is required to take care of her kids. by God. That's an an obligation.

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She does need to take care of her kids, when we talked last time about serving her husband and she required serve her husband. And we said that the four

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schools do not make this a requirement. This is about serving her husband, not about you know child rearing or anything of that nature.

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But then we you remember what we said last time, we don't need to repeat. If she does all the above he says if she does all that she discharged her obligations as a father Danica once he has done that follow her on a rock if it had been an ethical case, well the mask can be Majora D are the 2am Sally here she is entitled to the sustenance clothing and shelter customarily sufficient for someone like her customarily sufficient for someone like her you cannot

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you know, he cannot help respect their their constant

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basically, deferment to allow the customs norms, because they do understand that the these things are variable and differ from time to time and from place to place they they have always put an emphasis on the either which is the habit the custom and or the norms.

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And this is obvious, particularly in these chapters. So, what does that mean that she is entitled to the sustenance, clothing and shelter customarily sufficient for someone like her? You know, some of the scholars said that what matters here is what

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what matters here is the basically the status of the husband.

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It is the solvency or insolvency of the husband that matters, because they have plentiful evidence and he loves it of a lot of sanella matta a lot is not very good. So beyond its capacity, a lot has not been as well beyond what he has given it.

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So it all goes back to the husband. But again, the Hanbury said that no, it actually has to do two things the husband and the wife, it is not only the solvency or insolvency of the husband, but it is also the socioeconomic status and the status of the wife. Well,

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if you say but the guidance and you know, like, it makes more sense to say

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that it all depends on the solvency or insolvency of the husband, like the other scholars said. And honeyberries would answer back and say, Why did he get himself in that trouble?

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You know, like if if he really wants to live within his means he could, he could have married someone who would basically help him live within their means.

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But if you if you get yourself in trouble, then you will basically need to work a little bit harder, so that you could

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suffice the needs of your wife, your spouse.

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So it depends on two things. And where do we get this wherever we go home values, get that it is not one factor. It is actually two factors. it's twofold. It's the husband's condition, socio economic condition and the wives, well, our wives

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Well, the first one is like clinical nursing alongside that kind of

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mentality on put on a school for the entrepreneur, Matt Allah, let one of wins, serve Allah, Allah says, let one of wealth spend from his wealth, and let one whose means have been restricted, you know, men put their Allah Harris provisions have been restricted, let him spend what Allah has given him, like candy for lunch, and no matter how a lot is not very fun. It's all beyond what he's given it. So, the husband should, you know, give her within reason should sustain her within reason based in on his income based on his income.

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But then, on the other side, when hand, the wife was up and came to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and complained to him that Abu pianos stingy and he does not give her enough, he said, who the max Viki lackey will maruf take what what suffice is your what is sufficient for you and your children within reason, that motto within reason, but he said make Viki that which is enough for you,

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Bill maroof within reason

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in you know sufficient for her within reason varies, who is she I mean hand of course is different from you know, she is an ability and incorporation. So, what is enough for him and her children is not going to be basically little it will be a large

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sheet ship the large knife

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so, it

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is where where the combat is get that from

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but again at the same time, you know, likely likely they will say that we just can't force the man to basically if his income if that is the income we do see he should work a little bit harder.

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But then as long as they are married, she should also be

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reasonable and accept has accepted the lack of means.

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It's okay now. Okay. So,

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so, this is where we are coming to you know, it is two factors. It is the socioeconomic status of the husband, it's the income of the husband and the socioeconomic status of the wife. These two are taken in consideration if they were to go before a judge and determine an Africa you know, the maintenance

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then in Veliko Baba who

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has a man who kadakia Tia already have in Maru

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lemare and

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the Hina product low in Abba Sofia Raja Raja teeny manana faculty Mac Feeny already for caught up with the McAfee Kiyosaki build models

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if he was hold some or all of these rights from her and she's able to take from his money and amount

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That is fair and sufficient for her and her children, she made do so, this is because of the report mentioning that when Hindi said to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, I was a piano is a stingy man, and he does not give me what is sufficient for me, for my for me and my children.

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He said, Take what is reasonably sufficient for you and your children take what is sufficient for you and your children within reason. Now, why is it that this issue is controversial? If the prophet SAW Selim said that he made basically the prophet SAW, Selim said, He's not giving you enough.

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Take what you need, you know, you will have access as a wife take what you need.

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without his permission, that is what it means, you know, take without his permission what you need.

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So the medic isn't happy said that this the prophets of Salaam was acting in and this is controversial within the hash fit method. One of their positions is like the medic isn't shofar, he's in one of the positions like 100 bodies, that our bodies are the ones who usually would would basically presume or make as a default, everybody makes this the default. But they would usually be hard to convince that the property was not acting in his prophetic capacity. He was acting in the capacity of a judge or the capacity of the Prophet a prophet, he was always a prophet sallallahu sallam, but was he there acting in the capacity of a Mufti? Let us say, or a judge? Was he given a

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general fat word for every woman, you know, to take from her husband's money without his permission? What is sufficient for her within reason? Or was he given this judgment to was he acting in his capacity as a judge, and now Hindi came to him in his capacity as a judge, and he was acting in his capacity as a judge. So this applies to Hindi only, and any woman after him, other than hands will need another judge to give her that verdict. So that would be the prophet SAW Selim saying to the judges, when a woman comes to you, and you determine that she is truthful, and her husband is actually miserly?

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Let her take, you know, just give her a

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permit or a license or permit her to take from his money without his permission.

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Okay. Now, given that, that we live in a different world today, and given that there are legal concerns and considerations that must be observed here, it is not certainly advisable for women to just go home Valley here.

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There could be some legal repercussions.

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You know, I don't think that the law here would allow this

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secular law, yes. Yeah.

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Nothing to do with

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your own judgment.

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view that you have to find was fair for the husband and the wife.

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How do they do? Like how do you reconcile the average or the

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subjective, you know, within the mean, like, you know, the husband who is married, her husband was married to two women, one of them, you know, comes from a very wealthy family, not know, the same husbands with the same income is married. If he's married to two women, he would have to be equal and maintenance. So it will be the one that was not well off prior to marriage when benefit from the status of her co wife, because the maintenance would rise for both of them, which is we will go by the higher sort of status here. But if let's say a man, who is

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who makes 70 to $70,000 a year, got married to a woman who comes from a family where her father's income or the way they live, her father used to make $700,000 a year and this is the way they used to live. So this man who makes now $70,000 a year

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we will still have to pay attention to his income, but within his income, we will go to the higher limit. We will push the limit because this wife of his comes from

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sort of a background

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The

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smutch sort of

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that's wealthy here.

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So, you break, it's not like you're gonna break his back, but you're if there is, there is always a range, you will always go up within the range, these things are subjective, and there is always a range. So, if the woman's socioeconomic status if she's hand, then you will go to the top of the range,

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the top of the range. And if she's not, then you're based on her status, but he will factor the idea here is her status is factored not only his income

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for the rest of the scholars, he will be indifferent to the status of the woman he makes $70,000 that would be a generic number for someone who makes $70,000 whoever comes whenever you know, the income of the man is $70,000 there will be a genetic number. Now when would that be considered FCC FCC separation because he is not given her within sufficient

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within reason for someone like her

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some examples guys, we The idea is there is a range there is subjectivity, you have to understand this there is like if someone makes $70,000 Wouldn't you think that there would be a range for the reasonable sustenance not one single number that would be a range

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the hand bellies are saying there is a range and that range you will go up and down on that range based on the wife status

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numbers would be that consider putting him in that disparity between him and her

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if she's not getting enough we would allow her to borrow on his behalf

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that's

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unsustainable. Why is he getting himself in trouble in the first place? Why is he getting married to someone who you

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know really why is he getting married to someone who's not

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from his the same?

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No, actually, the home values are fair here this fair because you don't want to just marry any woman. And you marry any woman and then you decide that Okay, I'm gonna go apart to work part time now. And this is what I do. This is my income. This is what I make. You know, this is like,

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whoever said that this would be fair.

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You know, I just you know, I am a student of knowledge and I just want to spend time learning and traveling around and I want to go to Morocco. Spend some time and then you have like a wife and two kids. And you just tell them noodles every day. No, that is unfair. That is not fair. Even if it is your income.

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Why did you marry her?

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No, really?

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So if he if he if she's okay with it, then she's okay with it. If she's not okay with it, then it's your fault.

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Okay,

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companies are right here.

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Now next one.

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Okay.

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When I'm talking to another

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sorority, how many

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factors Roku for rocket hacking baneasa on Canon xlg Kabira. Now sorry.

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When kind of severely via

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la,

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la la.

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La la la.

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La, isn't he? He has.

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If she cannot take from his money because of his insolvency, or if he prevents her and then she chooses to separate from him.

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Keep in mind,

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she is able to separate because he because of his insolvency, he doesn't have enough for her. I am walking away with by. That's fine. She has that right.

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If she cannot take from his money, is that kind? No, you know, do we advise our daughters to do that? Absolutely not. But I wish that she had that right. Why is it that you hold on to the law when it is in your on your side? And then you start to say, but this is not really kind and when it is not? When it is on the other side.

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The law is not on any sides. The law is always fair. You know, God's law is always fair. But when it is perceived to be on yours on your side, you say, Well, this is the law. And we have to agree. And then we can talk about further later. We can talk about kindness later. But let's figure out the law first, and then address the issue of kindness later. We do the same, same thing as well, when it is perceived to not be on our side.

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Yes, if the if the husband is unable to support her, she can walk away from this marriage. That's what they say that's the law. If she is the wife of Satan, you bet she sticks around and she will see what a great woman you know, but do we require her? No, she's not required.

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So he says, If she cannot take from his money because of insolvency,

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or if he prevents her, and then she chooses to separate from him, the judge must separate them. Whether he is an adult or a minor, the husband, if she is too young for him to have intimacy with her. She was not given to him. She did not obey Him concerning his rights, or she traveled without his permission, or even with His permission, but for her own interests, then he is not obliged to provide for her, then he's not obliged to provide for her. When is he not obliged to provide for her? They didn't consummate the marriage. She said with his with her

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father. Why? Because they did not want to consummate the marriage yet if they want. And he said I'm not ready. He's bound to spend on her at her dad's home.

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But if she is and if if consummation is not possible, because she's too young for Conservation Corps, they did not want to consummate now they said no, we were going to need to wait, she needs to finish college.

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First before she moves to your home, he does not have to spend on her when she has at her father's home.

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So once they say to him,

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your wife is all yours. Take her whenever you want. He's bound to spend on her.

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Now, if she does not obey Him, particularly concerning his right to intimacy, she's not entitled to know

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when is it When is she also not entitled in Africa if she travels without his permission, not entitled enough.

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What is there one last thing that is controversial if she travels with His permission with His permission,

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but for her own interest, she's not entitled to an Africa but that is a heated controversy in the handling of so and and a one and a two is when he was when I don't want to use capital and small. So a one she does not get sustained a two she does get sustained if he permitted her and she traveled with us. So we can try to reconcile between the two and say it is a matter it's based on mutual agreement. Let us say she is a working woman and she says I need to be in Tennessee for a month

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well

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spent on yourself now. May may say that if you're going to be traveling and I'm going to be here alone.

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Then sustain yourself money or in Tennessee.

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What is wrong

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okay

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anyway

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No, this is not hola because this is pelicula da da da da da da.

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It is called the talaq for harm because of harm. And Sri is insolvency, his daughter to her His heart is harmed to her. You want to work part time good for you spend more time in a bar then studying knowledge. She can't handle that she can get a divorce and keep her rights because you are unable to support her within reason.

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So this is the lock. It's not Euler, when she asked for a lock because of his insolvency, there are 10 different types of data

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10 different types of harm that will give the woman the right to divorce. The thing is that sisters don't investigate investigate enough those matters. So they think that they're out of options. But you know, there are actually 10 different reasons.

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Viber is one of them for sure, which is his his absence.

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And

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solder is one of them.

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And harm which is physical harm would be according to the medic, he is

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one of them.

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And verbal harm, according to the Maliki's as well, is one of them.

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Okay, so let's go back here and

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go over the subsection. The next one is what are they hidden Babita in a lemon Cooley harbor in Canada, in colita man in Canada is

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about to is about 200 equally about Yahoo. Was subsections. He is entitled to his company one night out of every four if she is a free woman. If she is a slave, she is entitled to one out of eight. This is in case he did not have an excuse. She is also entitled to having sex once every four months, unless he has an excuse. Well, so once every four months. This is a controversial issue.

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Now, the idea here is she's entitled to one out of four nights, in terms of maybe in terms of spending the night with her. If he has four wives, she's entitled to one out of four.

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What if he has one wife, she's entitled to one out of four.

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Because, remember, when our armor when a man came to a woman came to home or the lawn one complained about his wife, his or her husband and his a burden, and so on. And she actually meant to complain that he's not given enough time to her. But when she spoke with Armada, she kept on talking about his beautifulness and his a bad and so on. And Homer thought he was a good man, you know, and he missed that she was actually coming to complain

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to him.

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So when he was reminded that this is a complaint, this is not he is not praising her husband, she was complaining to Omar

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CR, I think is the one who reminded him, he said to a certain, you know, then what would you give her? He said, suppose he has four women. He gets one out of four. Let's say that his a Bader is like three women. And she is entitled to one out of four nights. The least is one of the four nights in terms of spending time with her the night with her.

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Now, does that mean that they we will have intimacy during this time? No. And why not? And this is a big issue.

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So that one of you said in the medic is the the Maliki position here. People fight over this all the time. What is the medical position here? So some people say that the medic he said that he is she that she's entitled to intimacy one one of the four nights, but it seems that this is not the sort of the authorized American position it is more of like the canopies and Sharpies

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and the Hanafi said

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that she is entitled to intimacy ones

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during the marriage once and shafa is

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there is the only time

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you know

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It is just a beat. Because intimacy is not something that the man has the capacity to, to do like if he is not certainly all of them, as we will study in the chapter of either abandonment would entitle her to intimacy, if he is making an oath to the abandonment, they will not allow him to make the oath of abandonment.

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But then the Hanbury said one out of four months, one out of every four months intimacy one out of every four months.

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But, you know, but they may have said,

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you know, I'm very mad.

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But he reported this that this is there are two different there are Colin, and I, you know, I don't know what he meant by Colin because it does not seem that in the Hunter Valley, Mel's hub. So everything was it was not restricted to the Humvee, maglev, even though he was a full fledged homebody. But he would do, he would just sometimes walk out, bring some opinions from elsewhere.

00:31:10--> 00:31:16

And come back home with stuff, you know, opinions for into the method.

00:31:17--> 00:31:49

So he said that there are two different positions. She's entitled to intimacy one out of once out of once every four months. And she is entitled to intimacy bid model within reason he does need to satisfy her needs her needs within reason. And he chose that he does need to satisfy her needs within reason. And he said that this is more important, right, than feeding her and closing her to satisfy her needs to intimacy within reason.

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The vast majority of modern scholars

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actually take that position. He does need to satisfy her within reason. It is not one out of one in every four months. It's not once in a lifetime.

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And she does have the right to that and she can actually demand that.

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So what is it?

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Then we go back and say so what do you mean within reason? What could be within reason

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once every four days is within reason.

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And that may be a position of some Maliki's

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does not seem to be the authorized the view in the Maliki mazahub. But it may be the position of some keys that the report is reasonable here is one out of four days. She's not entitled to having him spend time with her one out of four nights only, but also having intimacy.

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One out of four nights, and we mean by intimacy or intercourse To be clear, because these are important patients to be clear about them, not just just any form of intimacy.

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Okay.

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That's it as far as that is concerned. So, it seems that the stronger position is what because if it is not, if it is not determined by the shadow of the shadow, I did not say how many times that we then we determine it by what model of reason. You know,

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everything that is not designated by the charter, will be consigned to what?

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what is reasonable when a sensible, reasonable and sensible seems to be one out of four days.

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So, almost wisely.

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Now the next

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next chapter here is the chapter Viola or the oath of abandonment.

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Why did the Hanbury say one out of four months, once every four months because of the following chapter, because he cannot make an oath abandoned her for more than four months. They said, then she must be entitled to intimacy every four months, because he cannot make her an oath.

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So they may have said but this is this is not true.

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That you know the fact that he cannot. Sometimes people abandon their wives for a good reason.

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So if there is a reason that he's abandoning his wife, we will give him up to four months and afterwards he will need to divorce her keep her and go back resume normal marital relations, but that does not mean that she's entitled to intimacy only once every four months.

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once every four months,

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the next chapter that she acts to under the chapter of the law or the oath of abandonment, and and I'm in an accident and her body has heard

00:35:15--> 00:35:20

for a bizarre battle. And keep in mind that I have to say this, you know, in defense of the

00:35:22--> 00:35:32

defense in, they certainly would not mean that her husband should not satisfy her. They're just trying to figure out what is,

00:35:34--> 00:35:47

you know, what is going to be used in the sort of court of law, they're not talking about what they are not talking about, what should be done. They're talking about in the case of a lawsuit,

00:35:48--> 00:35:54

is she entitled, can we force him to have intimacy with her?

00:35:55--> 00:36:05

You know, every like, how often like, once, like, you know, every four months, like every four days, what is it?

00:36:07--> 00:36:16

And knowing that, you know, having intercourse before some men is is not, it's not always possible.

00:36:17--> 00:36:37

That is why they were discussing it from a legal perspective only. But certainly, all of them we must think good of them, they must have not meant that that is what he should do or that is prescribed there, like that is good or kind

00:36:38--> 00:36:42

or virtuous or anything. So, we have to keep that in mind.

00:36:43--> 00:36:53

But we said that it has been maruf because it is that designated by the shadow so it should go back and can be a get consigned to a lot of the norms.

00:36:55--> 00:37:05

She accepts in Alameda accelerometer bottles, or bottles for Samarra to Elon hacking fan Catalina how moody? How moody are our body.

00:37:08--> 00:37:10

It should be about as short or

00:37:11--> 00:37:17

as short. Because you don't have that adequate learn. It's probably is a typos. Probably not.

00:37:21--> 00:37:23

Probably is like a sort of when they

00:37:26--> 00:37:29

Yeah, go back and see if the

00:37:34--> 00:37:43

no it's wrong. You don't add the data for them to our bar, you add them to a last hurrah, we add them to both you say our bottle Ashura or

00:37:46--> 00:37:58

or you could say Alma de la Bharti in the sense that you're adding it to the to the combination of the words between say

00:38:03--> 00:38:11

yeah, when when it is when you have a modafinil metafile you added it to both or to modify it.

00:38:15--> 00:38:18

So when you say

00:38:21--> 00:38:26

and hire Jonathan, hi Roger is wrong.

00:38:31--> 00:38:39

When you say a solicitor sued, he can say Florida is a salon or restaurant So

00:38:40--> 00:38:41

anyways,

00:38:44--> 00:38:45

our di

00:38:46--> 00:38:48

and sabaha

00:38:50--> 00:38:56

they are badass or or badass. Okay, they are pathological or a lot of La

00:39:00--> 00:39:28

cassava who cannot say eventful Koto, Coloma ammini, if he's where's the abandoned her for more than four months, and she waits until the end of the four months, and then they it takes him to the judge. And then he denies either the oath or the four months have elapsed, or he claims that he had sex with her and she was previously married,

00:39:29--> 00:39:33

then his claim along with his oath shall be accepted.

00:39:35--> 00:39:47

Okay, so now if he makes an oath of abandonment, he says that he will not touch her you will not have intimacy with her for five months. then by the end of the four months.

00:39:50--> 00:39:57

She takes him to court and then he denies that he ever made that oath or he denies that the four months have

00:39:59--> 00:40:00

elapsed

00:40:00--> 00:40:00

lapsed,

00:40:02--> 00:40:07

or he claims that he actually had intercourse with her.

00:40:09--> 00:40:15

Then to cover the cover to whom I mean he then his statement will be accepted

00:40:16--> 00:40:41

with his oath with his oath. Why? Because she is the one who's desiring to do what? terminate status quo. Anyone who's desiring to terminate status quo. One need to be bring the bullet produce what proof to the determinate status quo. What is status quo? they're married. She wants to terminate school. She needs to bring a proof to terminate school.

00:40:44--> 00:40:56

When a Coronavirus Erica O'Meara will fail he'll jump in forever in a lot of horror humor in America. Tila fentanyl aka Ella Tameka hakimullah is on ism and Raja

00:40:58--> 00:40:59

Raja Raja

00:41:07--> 00:41:08

was the first to incarnate

00:41:13--> 00:41:17

in America talk fentanyl with a lot of local and hacking.

00:41:19--> 00:41:41

So we'll stop here. If he admits it he will he should be ordered to recant his oath and have intercourse with her. If he recounts his oath and has intercourse with her, then Ally's most forgiving, Most Merciful. If he does not, then he will be ordered to divorce her. And if he refuses to do so the judge will divorce her from him.

00:41:44--> 00:41:59

And if he refused to do so, the Okay, so by agreement of the former head when he recounts he will have to do what expiate for his own exit paid for his oath, but if he can, or she has his wife,

00:42:00--> 00:42:24

if the four months passed by, and he had not recanted by the last day of the four months, the HANA fees will make her automatically spontaneously divorced from him without judge and without court and without anything she has. Not his divorce took place.

00:42:26--> 00:42:29

The mannequin sapphires on ham bellies will say what?

00:42:31--> 00:42:50

Now she takes them to court. After the four months now she takes them to court and the judge when separate between them, the judge who will terminate the marriage, so for them more than 100 buddies, divorce is contingent on

00:42:51--> 00:43:02

having a court order for the HANA fees, divorces spontaneous, he made an oath of abandonment, four months have passed by it is spontaneous.

00:43:09--> 00:43:09

little

00:43:12--> 00:43:24

fanfare of analog of horror humanism calaca fan allows me honoring those who make an event of their wives there is a waiting period there is a period or waiting duration of four months.

00:43:25--> 00:43:49

Fair in fair Oh, if they really can. So the gym owner saying that this ayah means that after the four months have elapsed, then we have two options absence. Therefore it is not automatic according to the jamawar it is that the four months will give her the option to take him to court and the end of the marriage.

00:43:50--> 00:43:58

Okay, then he says that she says some and Raja Taka Takahata ban at summit as a water her

00:44:00--> 00:44:08

work Betty XM and moderated Isla Whoopi Fela, her camera was off. Okay. So he says

00:44:10--> 00:44:28

if he takes her back as a wife or leaves her until the end of her waiting period, so that she becomes foreign to him, and then he marries her. Again, while there is still more time remaining from his oath than than that of the maximum

00:44:29--> 00:44:37

time of abandonment he will be brought before the judge as I described here above. can also

00:44:38--> 00:44:46

okay as I described the year above. So let's say that he made an oath to not touch her for one year 12 months

00:44:48--> 00:44:50

to not have intimacy for 12 months.

00:44:51--> 00:44:58

Okay. And then four months went by. She brought him before the judge.

00:44:59--> 00:45:00

She brought him back

00:45:00--> 00:45:03

before the judge, and the judge separated between them,

00:45:05--> 00:45:08

three more months went by her waiting period ended.

00:45:10--> 00:45:22

Or not necessarily but if he took her back here, or even led her to be in, to become fully divorced, you know,

00:45:23--> 00:45:42

finally divorced after the waiting period ends, and in the new year he marries her. But then he marries her and his oath is for one year, seven months have passed from the time of his oath. After seven months have passed from the time of his oath, he still have five more months for his own finish.

00:45:44--> 00:45:46

So he abandons her again.

00:45:48--> 00:45:49

She can take him,

00:45:51--> 00:45:54

ask him, so she is so.

00:45:56--> 00:46:00

So she can take him to court after four months and gets another divorce.

00:46:02--> 00:46:22

And will be enforced also. So the same thing as he described before you bring him before the judge, free can? No, I would not. Okay, enforce divorce. If he made an oath for two years, she can get all of her three divorces there during those three years, because she would keep on thinking back to the judge and getting a divorce and so on.

00:46:23--> 00:46:29

So, so that's, that's that then the six sad woman are designed in failure and

00:46:31--> 00:46:33

failure fileopen matter?

00:46:34--> 00:46:35

Janata.

00:46:37--> 00:46:38

hotteok.

00:46:41--> 00:46:43

If he's incapable of intercourse, when

00:46:45--> 00:46:49

demanded he should say I will have intercourse with her.

00:46:50--> 00:46:57

Once I can, then he may be given more time until he can. So if

00:46:58--> 00:47:01

so, he's if he says by the time that you know,

00:47:03--> 00:47:16

I recant. I repent. It can't. But I can't now I can't do that now. So then he will be given a modular until he can.

00:47:17--> 00:47:18

That's what he's saying.

00:47:19--> 00:47:25

So the next chapter so we're done with this Isla is the author of abandonment, you cannot make an offer of abandonment

00:47:26--> 00:47:34

make agita or abandonment of your wife for more than four months. At the end of the four months either take it back or

00:47:35--> 00:47:40

she can take you to court and get a divorce. Easy, yes.

00:47:50--> 00:48:01

Then we will go back to what we talked about in the previous chapter about people who have a disease and how long they will be basically the extension that they will be given until

00:48:03--> 00:48:07

and we sell it smart seasons if he has a disease

00:48:10--> 00:48:22

now next is Babbitt cause more issues chapter on division and contempt. The SEC says Roger and you said we have a nanny sir it will cost more I'ma that Elaine

00:48:23--> 00:48:25

sorry Why motherhood a

00:48:26--> 00:48:49

facsimile MIT les Latin when it herati Latino in Canada be the man must divide his time equally among his wives. What matters here is the night time, he should give one night for the slave and two for the free woman, even if she is the People of the Book, even if she is the People of the Book.

00:48:52--> 00:49:08

So we're talking here about co wives and how to divide and I want you to understand the one issue that it is extremely that is extremely important is is that acceptance particularly for the sisters acceptance of the Divine Law

00:49:10--> 00:49:28

is there is no room for non acceptance. You could always hate polygamy, in your case as much as you want for like personally at a personal level, but not at an intellectual level, not on a spiritual level not at any level other than the personal level.

00:49:30--> 00:49:47

If you fail to see the wisdom behind that, you have a problem. You have an emergency that you have to attend to your heart. Because you are doubting divine wisdom and doubting Divine Wisdom is a huge issue.

00:49:48--> 00:49:50

You could like I said this like it

00:49:51--> 00:49:57

in your case for you as much as you want because that is called the natural

00:49:58--> 00:50:00

you know versus the intellectual

00:50:00--> 00:50:17

People cannot walk away from their self consciousness, to be able to be so impartial, that their self consciousness never comes in the middle. Everything that we do or everything that we feel is filtered by our self consciousness.

00:50:19--> 00:50:21

But you do really need to look into

00:50:22--> 00:50:36

this matter, and just come to terms with it and appreciate the Divine Wisdom. Keep in mind, I want you to keep in mind one thing, that the cultures that do not recognize polygamy

00:50:38--> 00:50:39

are not monogamous.

00:50:41--> 00:50:42

Is that true or not?

00:50:44--> 00:50:47

You know, that that is, that is fraud.

00:50:49--> 00:50:52

In the cultures that don't recognize polygamy,

00:50:53--> 00:51:01

so many men have multiple partners, the difference is that those partners don't have rights.

00:51:02--> 00:51:03

They are illegitimate partners.

00:51:05--> 00:51:29

That's the only difference. It is not like polygamous cultures, men have multiple partners. I think that when it comes to multiple partners, if you compare Egypt, to many of the countries, you know, that ban polygamy, you will find a lot more men in those countries having multiple partners than Egyptians in Egypt, for instance.

00:51:31--> 00:51:46

So it is, it is at the end of the day, not in favor of men. And if you think it is in favor of men, you just you have like some issue with your thought process.

00:51:47--> 00:51:50

Because men that do not ever seem to be

00:51:52--> 00:52:01

deterred by the that is or the prohibition from having multiple partners and in other cultures

00:52:03--> 00:52:10

in addition to the list of wisdoms that I may not certainly talk about now, because it will take up the rest of the lecture.

00:52:12--> 00:52:13

Now,

00:52:15--> 00:52:22

we're doing this just for your intellectual pleasure because you probably aren't going to be using this anytime.

00:52:24--> 00:52:27

But for your information for your knowledge,

00:52:29--> 00:52:46

the man must divide his time equally among his wives. What matters here is the night time he should give one night for the slave and two for the free woman even if she is of the People of the Book. What I sadly hidden whatsoever you know nothing What was

00:52:47--> 00:53:27

passed me via the Honda was suffered through behind the camera. So Salama can either suffer an acrobat and is a failure to own a car Raja Maharaja, Bihar Ma, he is not obliged to have sex with them equally, he is not allowed to give precedence to one of them in the division or in travel, except through casting lots. Because the profits are seldom used to cast lots among his women, whenever he intended to travel, the one whose arrow was chosen would be the one to go out with him.

00:53:29--> 00:53:50

So this is a you know, straightforward, you have to be equal, regarding everything that you could be equalled about the profit so seldom use the c'est la vie past me female amulek fella, his name, Nicola Hamlet, or LA This is my division with regard to work concerning that which I have control over.

00:53:51--> 00:54:03

concerning that which I have no control over, don't hold me liable. feelings. You don't even have the same feelings for your kids. How could you have the same feelings for your spouse's?

00:54:04--> 00:54:17

You know, obviously, your kid that is more obedient, that is Kinder that is this and that you will have more feelings for them? were human beings, we're not machines. So

00:54:18--> 00:54:21

there is no way that you will have the same feelings for your spouse's.

00:54:22--> 00:54:26

Just like you can't have the same thing unless they are equally.

00:54:28--> 00:54:42

That's also rare. But at any rate, that is not the equality that is demanded. The equality that is demanded is the tangible equality concerning things that you have control over the vision of knights sustenance, things of that nature.

00:54:44--> 00:54:59

And even we said sustenance, if you marry the princess, and a peasant, the Mahara could have been different, but sustenance is going to be the same sustenance, ongoing sustenance is going to be the same. Now they are all your wives.

00:55:00--> 00:55:03

they're entitled to equal treatment. So

00:55:07--> 00:55:09

so then the safe.

00:55:10--> 00:55:32

So it's clear. So in order for you when you can to divide anything equally, that's the point. Whenever there is room to divide things equally you got you've got to be fair and to divide them equally. Let us say you cannot divide them equally, you can only take one with you on a trade. What do you do? flip the coin.

00:55:33--> 00:55:36

flip the coin is for people who have only one or two.

00:55:38--> 00:55:43

They used to draw lots, because the you know, flipping the coin does not work there. If you have four

00:55:46--> 00:55:47

unless you make it like a

00:55:48--> 00:55:49

championship like.

00:55:51--> 00:55:52

But anyway,

00:55:54--> 00:56:00

you don't have to draw lots here. So drawing lots is prescribed, or flipping the coin if there is only two.

00:56:02--> 00:56:09

And that would be fair. Because that would not be favoritism, that would be her sort of pattern.

00:56:11--> 00:56:19

But then when you take one with you, you make up the others when you come back, by the way, even if you take one with you, you will make up the others when you come to

00:56:20--> 00:56:21

one another and

00:56:22--> 00:56:33

middle class. The next point here is what Mara and I have a haka mina kozma devadatta a rehab isn't his od Hello, this is zodia how

00:56:34--> 00:56:40

to have a daughter who lives in hoonah, we understand that we have a young man he is

00:56:45--> 00:57:08

a woman may give her share of her husband's company to one of her co wives. With her husband's permission, she may also leave it up to him to acquaint it for whom he chooses. This is because soudha gave her data Ayesha. So the prophet SAW Selim used to give Isaiah her own day, and also sell this day.

00:57:09--> 00:57:17

This is a little bit of a, this is a little bit problematic, you know, it is fine to have a problem with this.

00:57:18--> 00:57:35

Some people may say How could you because why is it fine to have a problem with this because the reports that have been the sort of the explanation of her upsell that given her data he seems to be

00:57:37--> 00:57:42

to conflict with our image of the profits all sudden to some extent. Okay, why?

00:57:44--> 00:57:55

The first thing that I want to tell you is and this is doing apologetics here, not necessarily but a lot of apologetics. The first thing that I want to tell you is that even I have not reported or was

00:57:56--> 00:58:02

no match, I think of it imagine a portrait from a layout of the animal that he said, If I had to come to Heidi's and honor

00:58:04--> 00:58:06

them, for one would be Hillary who

00:58:08--> 00:58:09

is to come.

00:58:12--> 00:58:13

They had eaten

00:58:15--> 00:58:16

Rasulullah

00:58:17--> 00:58:23

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for Villeneuve

00:58:25--> 00:58:28

de kalevi

00:58:30--> 00:58:31

Hannah who

00:58:32--> 00:58:35

was there who

00:58:36--> 00:58:37

were at car.

00:58:39--> 00:58:41

So when I report

00:58:44--> 00:58:45

to you

00:58:48--> 00:58:49

have these?

00:58:51--> 00:59:06

From or concerning but more likely here concerning concerning the Messenger of Allah, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu sallam. Then, then think of him

00:59:08--> 00:59:09

think of the messenger

00:59:12--> 00:59:15

in accordance with that, which is Anna, what

00:59:17--> 00:59:17

was

00:59:18--> 00:59:21

that which is most virtuous, most guided?

00:59:23--> 00:59:34

Most most pleasant, most guided, most pious, most pleasant, pleasant, guided pious,

00:59:35--> 00:59:42

what is he saying here, that whatever we will be reporting to you from the or concerning the Prophet.

00:59:43--> 00:59:46

Oftentimes, this is our

00:59:48--> 00:59:59

report. This says, you know, unless they are quoting the prophets and southern verbatim, and also he quotes the prophets or southern verbatim, then you would have to ask about context because

01:00:00--> 01:00:04

words do not have meanings and abstraction from context.

01:00:05--> 01:00:09

Words have meanings only within contexts.

01:00:10--> 01:00:18

But if it is not quoting the Prophet sallallahu Sallam verbatim that even makes it a little bit more difficult, because there could be

01:00:19--> 01:00:21

their own sort of

01:00:22--> 01:00:36

their own iteration of the story, if people can look at one story and everybody walks away with their own iteration of the story, what they made up of the story. So I started Ilana, when she says, that

01:00:38--> 01:00:50

fear that the prophet may divorce her, so she gave her a to me, that may be his impression, that she, you know, actually

01:00:51--> 01:01:06

know what is inside his heart. And that may be an impression, ultimately, is she entitled to have that impression? Yes, she may be. Well, she, you know, particularly the not all that impression. But

01:01:08--> 01:01:13

if I, if so, that comes through eyes and says to her, take my day.

01:01:15--> 01:01:26

Then I may feel that Santa wanted to please the Prophet sallallahu Sallam by giving her day to our Aisha who used to be the prophets favor, so Salah.

01:01:27--> 01:01:29

But that is is his impression.

01:01:30--> 01:01:38

We did not sell that did not say that I fear that the promises are made. Who can the only one that can say

01:01:40--> 01:01:49

that's our fear the Prophet sallallahu sallam. And this is how we look at this, because we have four different possibilities. The Prophet divorce Souder,

01:01:51--> 01:01:52

the profit divorce seldom.

01:01:54--> 01:02:06

And that is completely weak. But that has been reported. And she wanted the profit back. So she gave up her day, the profit intended to divorce is out there.

01:02:07--> 01:02:16

Intended was about divorces out there, and that also cannot be established. So that felt that the prophet will divorce her.

01:02:17--> 01:02:19

So she gave her a tie. So

01:02:20--> 01:02:23

the only thing that we can

01:02:24--> 01:02:54

reliably reliably within what these are all sending the reports reliably within reason, within reason, we do accept the authentic singular reports. And we do act upon them. Do they confer certainty? No, they do not confer certainty. But do we accept them and act on them? Yes, we accept them and acting on them reliably within reason, the only thing that is connected that we can make is that soudha gave her data so

01:02:56--> 01:02:58

we can know this much we can know.

01:03:00--> 01:03:03

Who said that she felt that the profit zone would divorce her Ayesha.

01:03:06--> 01:03:12

That feeling the only one that can tell us of this feeling would be Zelda herself. Because it's her feeling.

01:03:14--> 01:03:19

Okay, so I have that is nuts out there who said then

01:03:20--> 01:03:25

who said that the prophet SAW someone intended her it was not the Prophet that he never said that he and then

01:03:28--> 01:03:33

someone may have been under the impression that the Prophet intended,

01:03:35--> 01:03:42

which even is not is not traceable to the prophecy. So all we have is that Saudi gave her data.

01:03:43--> 01:04:24

Was it because the prophets of Saddam was marrying them young and then whenever they got old, he wanted to replace them and get the younger ones? No, he was marrying older people. And he married Saudi when she was already old. She was already old. It's not like this happened after 40 years of marriage this elder he married this was happened only a few years after marriage this out. Keep in mind that the prophets are seldom left MCE. At age 53. He was married to one woman only, which has Khadija delana. It is only that when he arrived in Medina that he married more than one woman sourdoughs already old.

01:04:25--> 01:04:58

And the province also married her when she was old. It is very possible that Saudi have reached the age where people just you know like some women, not all women not being stereotypical. Some women are not really interested in intimacy and not interested in all of that stuff. And they are not interested in men from that particular angle. And since the prophets have said I'm used to spend time during the day with all of his wives, she felt that she just doesn't have interest in the other stuff. So she gave up her day

01:04:59--> 01:04:59

and

01:05:00--> 01:05:03

Could she have done this to please the preface on seven? Because, you know,

01:05:04--> 01:05:28

she knows that he likes it or he loves it possible? Is there a problem here? No, there is not. She felt that she is not interested in that aspect of American life. And she felt that it is enough for her to spend time with the professors of engineering of the day, and she's not interested in intimacy, because she's not interested in men. In that way. That's fine. There's, there's no problem here. So

01:05:29--> 01:05:40

when we get reports like this, you get like two types of reactions, you get the diehard conservatives who are trying to basically wage a war

01:05:42--> 01:05:53

on behalf of every report, and every reporter and every narrator, and sometimes sacrifice the profits himself some of those other than

01:05:54--> 01:05:57

just so that they can defend his

01:06:00--> 01:06:27

hand, then you have on the opposite side that people want to wholesale, say your stuff is just, you know, doesn't make sense. And, you know, so much, you know, wrong here and in these reports, or in the tradition, and they want to undermine the value of these reports and the value of the son of the promises. And what you need to do is you need to be reasonable,

01:06:28--> 01:06:29

come down

01:06:30--> 01:06:36

and prioritize the profits, all of a sudden, I'm over the reports. You know,

01:06:38--> 01:07:25

when you're doing this, understand that there is something called the filter of self consciousness that the reporters around the prophets of Salaam, even the Sahaba, who saw they have their own individual self consciousness, there is the filter of self consciousness. So when you hear something that is coming to you through Narrator And another as another narrator, another narrator, even given the accuracy of what they narrated, they are describing things through their own filters. What you need to do is to think of the prophet SAW Selim, in accordance with that, which is most pleasant, mostly guided, and most pious, and do not allow the transmitted image to distort your image of him

01:07:25--> 01:07:25

some of those

01:07:27--> 01:07:33

because that transmission may not be wholly accurate.

01:07:36--> 01:07:45

So when we differ defend the center, we defend the entirety of the sun, the body of the sun, it's not like you're going to defend each report.

01:07:47--> 01:07:58

And you're going to defend also, you have to defend the Ag Report, regardless of the strength of the report and regardless, you know, so whenever whenever a report is accepted traditionally,

01:08:01--> 01:08:18

or the tradition seems to be accepting of that report, that does not mean that you wage the final war to differ in defense of that particular report, or that particular common understanding and to us, or the tradition.

01:08:31--> 01:08:51

have been Soundwave part rusada Bikram hakama in the Hassan thermadata in Harada, say even a commander in the audience. Alone women assume a that is our big brother say when you came and sat down with a zoologist say about a big commander has a lesson. When a habit to say even up Miranda has

01:08:52--> 01:08:52

some

01:08:55--> 01:09:32

ala metazoan masala Akana in Makati, Lisa v Kiana Holic in jt accom. To indicate Saracen Karissa lucky when she's about to duck, he wins a battle that he's about to say. If he wins a virgin, he spent seven days with her and then he resumed the normal rotation. If he was a non virgin, he spends three days and nights with her not because you know the non non virgin could have been prettier than the version. But the version is not accustomed to marriage. The intent of spending seven days or three days is

01:09:33--> 01:10:00

for add ons, you know, to make to remove that have that fear that anxiety that they have removed that anxiety when you get married. Obviously the first timer will have a lot more anxiety about marriage than the second or the third timer. Therefore you need time to calm her down. Spend time with her so that she gets used to you

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and stuff.

01:10:02--> 01:10:03

Okay.

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Then he says, This is because of the statement of Anna's it is of the sudden for one who marries a virgin to spend seven nights with her. And for one who marries a non virgin to spend three nights with her. If the non virgin wishes for him to spend seven nights with her, he should do that, and then make it up to his other wives. This is because of the wind prophets, Allah Southern married on Selma, he spent three nights with her. And then he said to her, you have no inferior position among your family, if you wish, I will spend three nights hope dedicated to you, if you want me to spend seven nights with you, I will do that. But then I will spend seven nights with the rest of my women.

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So if he's married, and he gets married to another woman, you know, he interrupts the rotation

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and gives the new wife seven or three version we'll have seven non version we'll have three, this is outside of the rotation outside of the rotation. Now, what he's saying here, if the non version did not like the three days she wanted seven,

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at the beginning of the marriage, that is fine, he can give her the seven, but then it is not outside that rotation. Then he will make up the rest of the wives if he has three it will be seven and then seven. For the the other one, the two other wives will be 777 and then he will resume the normal rotation

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whether it is 111 or whatever position

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and I will just finish and

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then the chief said etiquettes of intimacy fossils to have with the scepter in the general

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color

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comida para Bismillah Lamas and even Satan. Agenda Satan and arzak tena koe dia Bina hoonah. While I don't learn yoga, who has a tiny subsection It is recommended to cover oneself during intercourse and to say, whatever na bass reported from the Prophet sallallahu Sallam if one of you says In the name of Allah, who Allah protect us from the devil and protect to the progeny You grant us. You grant to us from him when he approaches his wife, and then it is decreed that they have a child Satan will or Satan will never harm him or her You certainly make it

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all the time we're remembering Allah subhanaw taala all the time now to cover during intercourse. This is a Hanbury thing. You don't have to take it

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because it's controversial because the Prophet sallallahu Sallam

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is the family site here but I've done that irony

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let them know when one of you approaches his wife let them cover up and not uncover like two donkeys like two donkeys that have ease is not authentic. Okay, now

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the other half is decided by the zoo more than half his medicals and chakra is who do not consider covering to be of the advocates of Gemma of the you know, sort of important advocates of the Ummah they say the prophecies of our attack

01:13:51--> 01:13:51

in

01:13:54--> 01:13:55

America Middle America

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covering our our except from your wife and those whose those Uriah you're right and possesses. So,

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so that it seems that the the majority here have a stronger position, because there is no proof to prevent and why is it that it is not always a good thing to basically err on the side of caution because sometimes, sometimes when you err on the side of caution and you force things on people, they can have consequences. If this is not established that a lot did not say it, then there is a reason why it is not established and a lot of not demand. It may be that for some people satisfaction will not be had with you know if they covered. So it may compromise.

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One of the purposes of this sort of you know, release

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Okay,

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now, the chick said

01:15:06--> 01:15:09

phoslo incompetent modeline zodion Susan Hawa Robin.

01:15:10--> 01:15:15

Do a squatty potty Kakuka camelphat celada hanaa carpet any

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subsection if a woman fears contempt from her husband or abandonment, she may seek His pleasure by giving up some of her rights has did so that when she feared that the Messenger of Allah Azza wa sallam might divorce her, we went over this, she feared whoever told us she feared. Salad did not tell us she fear and would have been sour that the only one who can know whether she feared or not. It would be the only one who would know that he intended to divorce or her would be the Prophet intended to the boy who can read intentions, you know, but if the Prophet said I intended Yes, everybody knows their intentions. If Saudi said I feared What if Saudi said I fear that does that

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say that the Prophet intended? No.

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It would be sound as impression but at least we can believe it because she is talking about her feelings. These are feelings warranted or not we don't it doesn't matter because your feelings may not be warranted but they are still your feelings

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when she was

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an alcoholic, we were gonna get into this now.

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We will defer this until next time.

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Yeah, we'll stop here inshallah and then

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we will come back next time and finish off this particular segment.

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Because we do need to talk about it a little bit in some detail.