How to hit the ajer jackpot! Islamic Psychology and Spirituality Holistic Healing Therapy

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Haleh Banani

Channel: Haleh Banani

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Episode Transcript

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We're all looking for ways to gain more rewards, right? Whether it is being more charitable, helping others. And sometimes we overlook the easiest way, well, it may not be the easiest, but there are ways of hitting that edger jackpot, making the rewards really extraordinary. But you have to recognize it, right? So what many times what I noticed is that people are busy chasing after

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whether it's like helping in the community, whether it is whether it's volunteering, going to the masjid, doing all these different things, but they overlook sometimes the way to make the most reward, and sometimes it's in your own home. Sometimes it has to do with, let's say, you're having a tense situation with your spouse, okay? This seems to be a very, it seems to be very common right now, where people have tension in the home with their spouse. And and I'm not talking about abusive relationships. Right now I'm talking about two individuals who are just kind of either either fed up with each other, or they're just frustrated. And they have just decided to kind of ignore the

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problem, right. And if you take initiative, right, at this point, and say, I'm going to make that effort, I'm going to take the initiative, and I'm going to take that first step, because many times in relationship, people are waiting, they're waiting for that other person to take the step. And it has to do with the ego, it has to do with the pride. And if you overcome that pride, and you take that first step, that's when you hit the utter jackpot. It could be with your in laws, I just had a case with one client, that, you know, she didn't have a really great experience with her in laws, they were not very welcoming. And they had, they had certain issues certain, maybe certain

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hesitations about them getting married. And that made her just feel very sad and withdrawn. So she was Drew, nothing horrible happened. But she just decided, You know what, I'm not going to deal with them anymore. And the point was, here's how you can tame your knots, the Nazis, the eagle, right, and our Eagle either trains us it either. It either gives us directions to do what is right, or it gives us directions to just follow our desire. So if you're able to tame that, if you're able to tell yourself, you know what my ego is telling me just ignore them be you know, be withdrawn, don't make any effort but you overcome your desire, your naps, your ego, and you actually do something

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about it while we're talking about, you know, going and visiting them that had been so long since she had visited them. And so like taking flowers going over there. And that when it when it's a hard action to take because of your ego, then you are getting that ADGER jackpot. And again, I'm not telling you to be submissive. And when you're faced with abuse, that's not at all what I'm talking about. I'm talking about situations where you are faced with some some kind of challenges and you are hesitant to take that first step. And maybe you have hurt feelings, maybe you're just here just you're fed up but you take you are proactive, and you do take those steps and you will see that this

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is the extra jackpot. And not only will you be rewarded, okay, not only will you be rewarded by a law, but within this dunya you will be rewarded because relationships flourish when you tend to it right. So if you're attending to the relationship, if you are nurturing it, if you are respectful, even though it may be a very difficult relationship, what ends up happening, you know, it's like the what the prophets Allah alayhi salam has said is that the heart to to help with that when you give gifts when you show that kindness then it is love gross, right? And so if you take that initiative, you will see how much the relationship grows blossoms. If you're doing that with your in laws. This

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is a quick way to when you're the heart of your husband, your husband's heart. This is a quick way to earn, you know, a so much reward even from your spouse because what happens is that they see that you're valuing their parents you are showing an initiative, and I know how, how challenging it is the relationship with the inlaws and that's why I go into it. I have a whole section on the five pillars of marriage program. It's a bonus section, addressing the in laws because that can create a lot of problems and in our marriages if we're not careful

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Pull, if we don't, you know, it is not an option to just shut them out, it's not an option to say, You know what, I'm just not going to talk to them, You know what, I'm just not going to see them. Because you are only looking at the present, right? You have no idea 510 20 years from now, how they could play a role in your life. And by shutting them out, this is not a solution. Because especially, you know, when someone doesn't have kids, and they think they can shut out the in laws and then once you have kids, you are depriving your kids from that experience you are, it's just going to damage the whole relationship. So what I what I encourage you to do so right now I want you

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to think about a relationship that is difficult, okay, someone that you feel has a, it hasn't been as nice, or you've just kind of put them on hold, and, and just train your heart, train your nerves to take that first initiative, and you're not doing it for that person. Because I understand sometimes people are not as they're not as kind they're not as appreciative. And so you're not doing it for the for it to be reciprocated, you're doing it for the sake of Allah. And when you do something sincerely for the sake of Allah, it gets rewarded in this dunya. And in the aka. So if you take that initiative, you will hit the edger jackpot, and you will train your heart and you will

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train your nafs to, to submit to doing something good. And, you know, it was really hard for my, for my client to come to terms with this. But at the end of Hamdulillah, she, she agreed to do it and and just being able to push yourself to do an act that you know will be will be pleasing to Allah and you may not necessarily enjoy the process. It is incredible. It's an incredible training. It's like, you know, it's like training your muscles, right? It hurts, it's hard, it's heavy. But when you do it, you start seeing results. So that's what I encourage you to do find one relationship, one relationship where you have been basically, maybe ignoring, maybe you have just not put any effort.

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And I want you to tell me, what is it that you can do one? And what is it that you can do to take that proactive approach, okay? And then to what do you think is going to come out of it? As you're taking this step? What how is that going to affect your heart, your ego, if you slowly train yourself to do the things that you feel, maybe it's telling you not to do in the sense of like, oh, that's, that's too much effort, that's going to be hard, and you start doing it, and I want you to think about what is what is the result of that on your heart? What is the result of that on your relationship? What kind of example are you setting for, let's say, for your children, when you are

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exemplifying that you know what I may not like this person, they may have not been really, really that nice. And I'm not saying take abuse like I says Don't misinterpret it, but it's just about sometimes people just don't get along or you don't you don't have all the same like the you don't know how to share similar views, but it's how you treat those people, right? We can't just look for spiritual clones, we can't just find people who are identical to us. It's how you deal with the people who are different who may have have a very you know, maybe they you don't agree on the same things, but how you treat them will have a profound impact. So if you would like to sign up for a

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free PDF on how the banani.com the seven gems to save your marriage that could benefit you and I have some free courses on hollowbody.com under courses. So

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there it is really critical for us to take this step let me know how it turns out. Thank you for tuning in said on Monday.