The path to strong character
Channel: Bilal Assad
File Size: 57.23MB
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah. Whoever occurred to Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Welcome brothers and sisters, today's topic we have chosen, how to build yourself,
how to build yourself, how to be a strong believer,
how to have a strong personality, how to build your character.
Brothers and sisters, first and foremost, before you can build a character, you need to have your relationships right.
And the first relationship we need to have is the relationship with Allah subhanho wa taala. If that is not there, you have no foundation.
The relationship with Allah subhana wa Taala sets the pace for every other relationship in your life, everything in your life, it gives life, the deepest meaning that one could even fathom. Otherwise, life becomes temporary meaning short lived, meaning some people live only for their family, but family will go away. Some people live for their money, business and money will go away. Some people live while they have their health. But health is not guaranteed suddenly it goes away. If we lose these things that we live for what becomes of us, we start seeing life as meaningless more and more. And that's the result of why certain people fall into certain problems, mental
illnesses, and God forbid some people don't even see any reason to live on. The first thing, our relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala is the first thing and I'm just going to quote an area from the Quran and one Hadith kotse which should insha Allah explain how do we build our relationship with Allah very simply, Allah says in surah Allah Imran from verse 190 to 195 How do we let him in a shaytani R rajim Bismillah R Rahman
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all will translate this much insha Allah and then another two verses, having a relationship with Allah brothers and sisters begins here. Well, law says, Indeed in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of the day in the night there are signs for people of reason.
They are those who remember Allah while standing, sitting and lying on their sides and reflect on the creation of the heavens and the earth. And I pray, Oh, our Lord, You have not created all of this without purpose. Glory be to You, protect us from the torment of the Fire. Our Lord, Indeed, those who commit to the fire will be completely disgraced and the wrongdoers will have no helpers our Lord, we have heard the call to true belief, proclaiming Believe in your Lord alone. So we believed our Lord, forgive our sins, absolve us of our misdeeds, and allow us each to die as one of the virtuous our Lord, grant us what you have promised us through your messengers, and do not put us
to shame on the Day of Judgment. For certainly you never feel in your promise. Allah subhanho wa Taala finally says, first stone, Berlin. Boom. The first before are better now. Deena, Dina. Wow, I don't
know SONiKA wanna Xena, Yeoman?
only for me I had first their job and I'm Rob boom and Neela
mean love all the online meaning me
bow, Allah subhanaw taala says, so the Lord responded to them, I will never deny any of you, male or female, the reward of your deeds, both are equal in reward, my dear brothers and sisters,
from here, we can understand from these simple verses, that there is an intimate relationship happening. There is this two way relationship happening between you and Allah, you and God from the verse you understand that the first thing is that you have believed and the most important thing is that you converse with Allah you talk to Allah. So your relationship with Allah is built brothers and sisters by praying your five daily prayers, by charity donation, doing good deeds, and constantly having a time in the night where you don't distract yourself and you dedicate a few minutes to talk to Allah subhanho wa taala. To keep saying Rob, burner or burner burner, even the
word our Lord Our Lord, our Lord, is a loving relationship between you and Allah. When you think of Allah, think of Him as your Lord, what is the meaning of Lord, Lord only means caretaker Guardian creator, the one who gives you the one who looks after you the one who protects you, the one who is there with you and the one who guides you, the Lord or bene. This is how we address Allah subhanho wa Taala and the sisters we call them as Rob Benner. Rob, there is no one who cares for us more than him, and you seek refuge in Him and you asked him to fulfill his promise that he gave, as we believed in the messengers and prophets and Allah subhanaw taala. He's saying, don't cut off your
connection with me. Because if you cut off your connection with me that connection will be cut off. Allah never cuts you off, but it is us who cut Allah subhanaw taala off. And Allah Subhana Allah always has the door open, we can always return. As you can see in these verses, this constant repetition of our Lord, forgive us, our Lord grant us salvation, save us, protect us, Allah subhanaw taala he loves this type of relationship because it's a one of intimacy. You're pleading to Allah subhanaw taala to keep you protected when Allah Samantha told you don't worry, but you say My Lord, protect me. Allah subhana wa Taala when he sees you doing that, Allah Subhana Allah has mercy
encompasses you, right? It's like when a child says to his mother, or her mother, Mom, please, you know, make sure that I'm safe. Make sure that tomorrow at school, I've got my lunch otherwise, I won't have anything to eat if you you know, like a five year old or something. And when a mother hears these words, only the compassion and mercy hits her and she says how can I leave my own son My son is worried that I'm not going to look after him. And the more you say it the more the mother gets teary over these words this stop don't say it, don't say it. So Allah subhanho wa Taala always tells us about our parents whenever he mentions his name in the Quran, because our origin came from
our parents and our original origin came from Allah subhanho wa taala. So brothers and sisters, whoever does not have a relationship with Allah, the life becomes meaning less meaningful and only temporary. And as you will know, when the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam died, Abu Bakr Delano stood up and he said mankind Aya Buddha, Muhammad and Muhammad and God met whoever worship Muhammad and he has died Salatu was Salam, womankind abled Allah for in Allah, how you lay your mood. Whoever worships has always worshiped Allah. Allah is Ever Living, he will never die. Allah subhana wa Taala also tells us however with one little tender,
how can I say it? In Arabic, it's called a tab. It's like when you love somebody, you care about someone, but you tell them something to be weary of. So I lost my dialysis in the Quran also, it says some humans, when good happens to them, they stay connected to me to Allah and when something a calamity befalls them, they begin to cut me off their life and ALLAH SubhanA Daya Allah says everything is from Allah, but you need to put your patience and trust in Allah Subhana Allah and whatever happens, you know, brothers, sisters, when COVID hid, and some of us who got sick humbler many of us made it through, may Allah have mercy on those who passed away. Some of us lost our sense
of smell, some of us lost our sense of taste I did Subhanallah till today I haven't got my entire taste back. Subhanallah but when you lose your senses, something as simple as a smell or a taste, and then suddenly it comes back. You feel like you own the world. Subhanallah and when we always have it with us, we forget the blessings that Allah Subhana Allah has given us so sometimes Allah may diminish something from you to keep you connected and appreciated because we are naturally forgetful beings. So brothers and sisters, everything
Allah does with us is to keep you connected and knowing a meaningful life, a life that's beyond here to make it through in sha Allah, brothers and sisters,
I quote now a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam, which is in Sahih Bukhari 6502. It's called the Hadith kotse. Hadith Gotse means that Allah subhanho wa Taala spoke it, but it's not Quran so it wasn't sent down as ye revelation is a scripture, nor was it just the prophets words which were set to him to say them in his own words. They are Allah's words said in human form. And they're not like the Quran, but they are a little bit higher than Hadith a little bit lower than they are called Quran, Hadith, pudsey. So when the Prophet Allah said and speaks on behalf of God on behalf of Allah, Allah subhanaw taala says to him, he said, Minaya, Lee Well, Ian, Allah speaks, he says,
Whoever takes a close
believer of mine, someone who is always close to me in the day in the night, and lives their life by my guidance, he's called a wedding.
A close servant of Mine, whoever takes a close servant of Mine as an enemy, as an enemy hurts them, hurts them, insults them, or anything like that * betters, and even more horrible than he or she who hurts that servant of mine who was close to me, then they have declared war for a combat with me.
In other words, Allah declares war over that person, you mess with my servant, then you have declared war against me. He then said, and there isn't anything that my servant comes closer to me that I love more than the things which I have made compulsory upon him. The compulsory salah and the compulsory acts of worship brothers and sisters are the most beloved to Allah. They are the ones that connect you the most with Allah that's why we make them the priority. Then Allah says, and my servant continues to get closer to me. By doing acts which I did not make compulsory upon him they are called voluntary acts no effing. Such as voluntary solid, voluntary donation, voluntary good
deeds that you do, out of your love for Allah subhanho wa taala. He says hit that or hippo until I love him. Now Allah Subhana Allah loves you in a certain way different to others not Allah's love for people is not the same. The more you connect with him, the more love love increases the further away you feel it you feel how you're distant from him, the closer you feel that love. So Allah says Begin, I love him in a special way or her. And when I love them in that special way, I become their hearing which they hear with their eyes which they their sight which they see with their hands which they touch with their legs which they work with.
Then he starts to hear, by my hearing, meaning that Allah subhanaw taala it's not literal, that when he or she listens, Allah Subhana Allah guides their ears to love to listen to the things which he loves, and his ears begins to hate the things which Allah hates. And his eyes see what Allah loves to see. And his eyes hate what Allah subhanaw taala hates, and his hands and feet the same. Allah says, and if he were
to ask me for anything, or she I will give them and if they sought refuge in Me, I will save them. And there isn't anything I ever hesitated to do more than when I hesitate to take my servant soul at the time of death. For my soul for my main believer, my believing servant hates death, and I hate to cause him or her harm. However, death is inevitable.
This hadith as I said, is in Bukhari, number 6502, and similar to in Muslim,
as you can see, brothers and sisters, when we think about Allah, this is what he's telling us. This is the type of relationship that he is talking about. So first and foremost, brothers and sisters, establish your relationship with Allah subhanahu wata Iarla. Doing a five daily prayers never leave them out, increasing your voluntary work, fast, voluntary days donating give charity, even if it's moving an obstacle off the road. It is a form of charity which Allah loves smiling in your family's face to your parents, to your siblings, to your brothers and sisters, to your children, to your spouse, your wife and your husband, to your Muslim brothers and sisters, to bring happiness to other
people to ward off harm from other people to defend another person who is innocent to speak well, to withhold your anger and not act out in the wrong way. Of course anger sometimes it's good and some most often it's bad but to restrain yourself from letting your emotions do the wrong thing from monitoring what is halal and what is haram and fearing Allah subhanho wa Taala and night and day with what you earn and what you spend, how you nourish yourself and what you speak and what you learn and all of these brothers and sisters is being with Allah subhanho wa Taala and finally Allah says
As to the props of our Salem Fabu dropped back I had the wardrobe back I had to clean worship your Lord until death or certainty, until certainty comes to you. Certainty is death. Why did Allah call call it certainty? Because no person in the entire world nothing, not even an animal, Muslim or not Muslim, human or animal jinn or angel can deny that death is inevitable. That's what Allah called it. Yeah, clean certainty and what is death to us as Muslims? It is when your soul completely leaves your body and you return to Allah. And then after that, you come back to life. So death means returning back to the one who puts you here, Allah, in Allah, we're in the LA Raj to Allah we belong
and to Him we will return. Brothers and sisters moving on now.
Now I want to talk about yourself. What is a believer? Well, how does Allah subhanaw taala describe a believer and what does Allah and His Messenger teach us in building ourselves? How should a believer have a relationship with his or herself? How do you love yourself? How do you honor yourself you must build yourself your body is a trust your mind is a trust your wealth is a trust your life is a trust and the people God put with you Allah put with you are a trust your children, your spouse's, your parents, your wealth, your work, everything you have, is a trust. So let us understand what Allah wants us to do with our bodies with our mind and with our lives. The Prophet
peace be upon him said in a hadith which is in collected by sahih, Muslim number 2664 and mineral Coway yo Hiren what I have boil Allah him in a minute Bife the strong believer
is more beloved and better to Allah than the Wake believer.
Wi Fi calling higher and each one of them has goodness in them.
The Hara sila Malian Foulke
What's the word for it?
Be diligent, thank you know, be diligent on what benefits you
what Stein biller he will attach has always work and act by seeking Allah's assistance always make dua seeking Allah's assistance while attaches and do not become paralyzed, do not become paralyzed.
When I saw Becca show you on fella taco low and the fall two can occur the worker but if something a calamity were to befall you something that was unexpected that hurt you not according to your goals happened a tragedy a calamity befalls you do not resort to stop saying and repeating. If only I did this or that such and such a thing would have happened. When I can call your copter Allahu wa Masha a file instead say Allah has pre measured and what He wills he does in a low TAFTA who armella shaytaan for the word if constantly repeating it and constantly sickening yourself with it night and day opens the door to the shaitan. What does this mean brothers and sisters, a strong believer the
oil map talked about two types of things that make us strong the one the first one is your connection with Allah. So your Eman strong there's no doubt, but the correct meaning which the majority of the scholars talked about, including a meme and Noah we and others. They said a strong believer is the one who builds his or her resources, their skills, their knowledge, their health looks after their health, strong mind has good friends around them builds their character.
Such a person is a strong believer. Why? Because a strong believer he said is more beneficial and more beloved to Allah. Because they serve more, they can help more, they can produce more. They can assist more. They are not beggars, they are givers. They are not weak, they are strong.
Then the weak believer, a weak believer who doesn't have many resources, doesn't build their skills, doesn't build their knowledge much and rather becomes dependent on society in the community. They're the ones that most likely will receive rather than building themselves. But the Prophet sallallahu Sallam did say both of them have good in them. They both still good, but one is more beloved than the other. Allah loves the strong believer and loves the weak believer, meaning the resourceful believer and non unrest, non resourceful believer, but the resourceful believer who has strength, he is better and more beloved to Allah because they can help more. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam said, Cairo NASCI and found homeliness. The best of the people is the one
who was most beneficial to people?
So, an incapacitated person becomes a burden and a beggar. Whereas a person with strength Gibbs, there is a story about a man who went out to seek his risk, His provision. So he left his town seeking work and skills and so on to make money. He arrived at a town and he slept in a hotel. And when he came out, in the morning, he saw He saw a bird, a very, a sick bird, an injured bird who couldn't fly. And he wondered how this bird is surviving. As he's watching. He saw a healthy bird fly from the sky with a bit of worms and other food and started feeding the injured bird. So the man he said to himself, subhanAllah, here I am going out to seek my provision. When my provision is
already written, if my provision is going to come to me, Allah will bring it to me, just like he brought it to this injured bird. So he packed his bags and bags and decided to go back to his town. He says, Hollis, my provision is written. When he got there, he had a chef, an Imam, a scholar. And that's why brother and sisters, a person who knows person who learns is more beneficial than a share, heal a person who doesn't know then an ignorant person, an ignorant person will make many mistakes. A knowledgeable person is the one that can guide and fix an ignorant person destroys and damages even if their intention is good. So he went to his Imam, the scholar, a scholar, a learned
man, and he said to him the story and after they said, Wouldn't Allah provide me as his written? He said, Yes, definitely. Nothing happens without Allah's provision. Everything is written for you that is true. But I want to ask you a question. The Imam said, Do you want to be the bird that receives? Or do you want to be the bird that gives the bird that provides the bird that helps because one of them is more beloved to Allah than the other.
So brothers and sisters, with working and we're doing things comes called out as well covered works within the natural world, code that is not something supernatural that just comes down from the heavens. And that's something I really feel sad about Allah or the Muslim ummah, they put their trust too much on supernatural things, because it doesn't need much work. They wait for a sign to come down from the heavens in some supernatural way. And that's a false way of looking at Da, looking at things like as the hara, looking at dreams, looking at all these things, and then basing your entire decisions of your life on a dream that you saw, or looking at as the hara as being some
kind of miraculous outcome that has to happen. Some people say to me, if I do and it's the Hara.
I meant I meant to receive some kind of miraculous feeling that descends upon me know brothers and sisters, you could get a feeling but their response to this, the harder is not that. Some say I need to see a dream, brothers and sisters, that's not good to rely on a dream, you may see you may not and no one could interpret it the right way. The Shaitan can come and mislead you. So the answer to that is the Hora is not a dream. In general, dreams are good. But you can't base it on that. We can't base it on things that are variable and we don't have any measure. It can easily mislead you. So don't hook ourselves too much on these things, called our works with the way Allah created life.
So for example, if you're going to walk, didn't Allah give you legs, that is cutter, he gave you the legs to walk and his cutter works hand in hand, with your determination and with your physical mechanical work, to walk to go and get drink, to go and say sake.
So the darkness the hydro works as reliance on Allah while you continue, continue to go. And then if the walls all stop you and there and you find no other way anymore, then know that Alhamdulillah Allah is guiding you somewhere else. But don't wait for some kind of supernatural sign.
That's the wrong approach brothers and sisters.
So mineral Collie, meaning a determined, strong, resourceful, skilled believer.
He's better than a weak believer, then a believer who sits in worships all day, in their little worshiping house. And obviously, when you have more knowledge, you are far more beloved and more and better and more beneficial than a person without knowledge. Then the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said, Be diligent on what benefits you again we can see this, everything in life, you have resources, don't waste your time on things that have no benefit for you in your hereafter or in your world. Both brothers and sisters, this how these talking about worldly and the hereafter. But then when you get your worldly, then directed in a way that benefits you in your hereafter. So join dunya
and Dean and let us serve your hereafter avoid the Haram and go for the halal and enjoy
Shall Allah make your intention for the sake of Allah and use your resources that benefits you, your family and others that will benefit you for your hereafter? Hara sila Maryam Foulke Be diligent on things that benefit you. There are some people that would sit on their phones night and day, scrolling away getting nothing out of it but cats and dogs and entertainment. And you know cats and dogs when they jump around on on tick tock and I don't know what they spend an hour just looking at things that don't benefit them. So brothers, sisters, and some people just sit there for hours. This is valuable time that we are wasting. Yes, you can entertain yourself you can joke you can this is
all good. But don't do it as a habit where you having no benefit afterwards. Always have something that benefits you and build your life. Some person one person said Well, what about does it only have to be religious knowledge says no, of course not. religious knowledge is one. But there are 1000s of other areas that Allah subhanaw taala has given us to use his resources to help the man to help people. It doesn't matter what it is anything in life that is halal, and skillful, even money, you work for money and then you use it in the path of Allah to help people or to build yourself and family all of this is feasible. Then the Prophet Allah Salam said seek Allah's assistance no matter
what you do always seek Allah's help your OB, make this easy one do it that you can say is this Allahu Allah Saleh Allah Allah Masha Allah Who Salah will entitle jardel husband either sheeters Allah, O Allah, there is no ease except what you make easy. And you can make the difficult, easy. Always say words like that before or during your endeavor. And even after your endeavor, anything that you do in life, while Taj has done become paralyzed. What does this mean? It means plan, seek advice, investigate, manage yourself. And then once you've planned and you come to implement your plan, he said don't become paralyzed, keep going. Because some people they plan and write to the
point of implementing, they get cold feet, they stand back, something just stops them. They have the ability, but they're not confident in themselves, meaning that don't think they're going to do it. That also said, don't just keep going. Then just in case things fail. Ross also said I'm covers you for any possible mental illnesses that can result of it or any low self esteem dangers.
He says, if something didn't go as planned, we'll see. But calamity means that when when something is expected, and then something, something ruins, the opposite happens, it's not expected. You're driving your car and you're meant to go from here to your home, God forbid an accident happens you didn't expect the next time that's called a masiva. So I suppose as I said, if something doesn't go as planned, and we'll see what happens, then do not say if, if if, what does it mean if if means those types of people who develop an OCD over it, obsessed over crying and getting nothing out of it, but sadness, misery, and blame. That's the type of if a Rasulillah Salam warned us against, you
cannot change the past, say Allah has pre measured and what He wills he does, let go of it, and say Allah has willed it, whether it's my fault, whether it's Allah, Samantha directed me somewhere else, doesn't matter what it was, it was written, supposed to be there for some reason, but I don't know what tomorrow holds. So it was also assalam says, Don't reminisce, if you can learn from what happened, such as management, learn from your mistake, take it. Take it for everything for a believer is good. That's how a believer looks at life. Then move forward and keep going, keep going, keep going. So long as Allah has given you breath to breathe and life, it means you still have a
purpose in this world. Always know that.
We move on now. Brothers and sisters I've listed there are many qualities that build your character. As a believer,
I've listed at least or minimum that everyone should have. I've listed 10
Some of them you'll know already. But I'm just going to go over them and explain them briefly. Ah Insha Allah, all of these 10 are from the Quran and Sunnah even the prophets of Allah Salam, if you study his life, you'll see these are his qualities as well. And each one has an example of it in his Sierra in his biography.
So, the first thing brothers and sisters, all these 10 qualities is about loving yourself. You know that statement love yourself. Unfortunately, the modern human today, the wrong the modern person has twisted and missed the point of what loving yourself means. The modern person today thinks that loving yourself means that you don't
care about anyone except yourself.
What do you mean you don't care, there's no care. There's no kindness anymore, just yourself. I don't care what happens to everyone else, so long as I'm good. Loving yourself these days is about superficial outside appearance these days, what you drive, indulging in your luxuries, indulging in my desires, so long as I like it, and I'm enjoying it. I don't care if it's halal or haram. I don't care who it harms. I don't care what it's doing to me, if I like it, and I love it. I'm loving myself. Loving yourself does not mean indulging, making yourself spoiled. Spoil yourself. You won't do that to your child, a child that spoiled grows up entitled, they're the rudest, the most
obnoxious, people don't want to be around them.
So when you spoil yourself, you're not loving yourself, you're destroying yourself. Yourself needs discipline, yourself needs to grow by giving it what makes it better.
Loving yourself means building yourself, my dear brothers and sisters, and sometimes in building yourself, there's going to be a bit of pain, there's going to be a bit of struggle, but the result is you're a better person, serve yourself and build yourself. That's how you love yourself. So number one, the first condition of building yourself is knowing yourself. You must know yourself your strengths and weaknesses, what you know and what you don't know. Knowing yourself, brothers and sisters, is knowing what you have, that you can give, what you have, that you can use, what you have that is useful, and what you don't have that makes you useless. Try to build those skills as much as
Humble yourself. So once you know yourself and you know your reality.
Don't appear to people exactly in your reality,
appear to people a little bit less than your reality. That's called humbleness. And that is what the prophets Allah Salam said Mantova da de la he Rafa. whoever humbles themselves for the sake of Allah, Allah will lift them.
Make yourself a little bit less than your reality. If you make yourself better than you look like you're more than what you really are, then you're going into areas of arrogance, Kibera
and fakeness. And hypocrisy. And that is going to come back to haunt you. You're going to have low self esteem after that, because you'll fail. You don't when you see some young people, they see that others are looking at them. And then they tense their muscles and they want to fight
and prove how strong they are.
And let's say they haven't got training and fighting. But they feel overconfident. But they know they don't have the ability.
So they're appearing more than what their reality is.
Or to go into an area that you know, is not within your ability.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
Do not say said Ask Allah not to make you devalue yourself. They said how do you devalue yourself? Ya rasool Allah. And he said, By entering into an endeavor or into a task that you know, you cannot do
so know yourself. And don't burden yourself with something you cannot do. work within your capacity. Know yourself and know your strengths and weaknesses and stay humble. So this is the first thing brother and sisters have you ever been on the aeroplane before? Of course most of us have. And before we fly the flight attendants, they say in the event of an unlikely emergency. oxygen masks will fall from above
that they say that they say
put it on yourself before attending to others. Even if your own child is struggling for breath, why do you put the oxygen mask on yourself
so you can help them if you don't breathe, you can't help them to breathe, but if you put on them and then you and then you die out of loss of breath, there goes your child as well. Isn't that correct? So run sisters, you need to strengthen yourself. So in Islam, building yourself is the first thing number two brothers and sisters is called self esteem. Self esteem.
Self esteem is your opinion of yourself.
What do you think of yourself?
The way you think of yourself
is how you have decided where you have decided to put yourself where your ranking is.
And I want to give you a little hint
From the Sidra of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam how to be so you can lift yourself esteem.
Every one of you has been chosen to be born into this world.
Allah is the one who decided and chose you. And he honored you. Allah says, Well, I caught Quran, Ebony, Adam, we have honored the Children of Adam.
So you are already special, and you are already important. But what you think of yourself makes the world of a difference. And here's a little advice.
When you meet people, you put people on a certain pedestal either up, or you put them lower. This is natural, we look at people in different the majority the modern person today basis, the esteem of another person in their status on materialistic things, what car they drive, what job they have, what position in the job, how much money they have, whether the popular or famous or not, whether they look good on the outside, whether they've got more views on social media and likes all these things, the materialistic superficial things the modern person looks at.
And I'll give you one example.
You will know in Big W, they had a terrible children's book. I don't know if you heard about it. A children's book, which talks too much inappropriate adult material with pictures and everything.
recommended for children between seven and 10, I think or 10 years old Wallahi. If you looked at it, you'll say where is the Hollis the last hour is coming. Because of the amount of people that protested against it. They took it off the shelf. Why? Because it's going to hurt the pocket, the business, the industry, we live in a world where materialism is big. Alright.
A Muslim is taught another way.
Your self esteem is not based on outside appearances or materialistic things.
You, when you amplify a person in front of you, you make them big,
then you automatically reduce yourself.
And when you amplify yourself,
then you reduce others and both of them are toxic.
Both of them will kill you.
One of them is gibberish and arrogance and it will destroy you.
And the other one is putting yourself down and not giving yourself the importance that needs
what is the answer? And also Salah salem said and tune Zillow, NASA manage Zillow home to put everyone in their place meaning consider them where they belong. And where does everyone belong? What am i What are you? We are humans. That director of that company is a human, that boss of yours is a human, that husband and wife is a human, your parents are human, your children are human. Your friends who've got this or that is a human, the person who's driving that expensive car has a lot of that money is a human. At the end of the day, we're all humans. Number two, we have all been created by Allah for the same purpose, we're all in the same exam.
If they've got one skill, you have another
maybe that person who is who looks like is above you has problems with their family, you might have a good relationship with your family, embrace that Hamdulillah that person may have some health problems Hamdulillah you got good health that person may have doesn't have a hobby outside of what they have, what other skills which they enjoy, maybe you have a hobby and things that you enjoy and skills. Everybody Allah has given them favors. So don't amplify yourself and don't reduce yourself by amplifying them. Think of them as humans. Yes, we respect certain people and give them more attention than others if they are beneficial, and if they deserve it, such as scholars and Imams, or
someone who is truly beneficial to others and is earned that privilege. You give them that respect, but never think that they are better than you or that you are better than them. They can rise and fall you can rise and fall.
And don't be arrogant, so to say Oh, who are they? This is the thing sometimes I hear young people they go too far there. So who are they who are you bro? You're nothing. That's called arrogance. Remember we said don't amplify yourself by reducing others and don't reduce yourself by amplifying others be balanced. And that's why Allah says what Catholica Jalna cometan was SATA and this is how we have made you a balanced Oma. Not too much, not too little be balanced. That's what Ross was. Adam said Allah loves the loss of
Phil Ohmori kuliah he loves the balance in all matters. So work towards that balance.
So brothers and sisters for your self esteem, look at that. Number three is confidence or overconfidence or under
confidence, and there is the mature side. So it's got to do with confidence, what is confidence, in order for you to know yourself that you are confident, that's part of building yourself, you need two things.
You need to feel that you can do that thing. And number two, you need to know that you have the ability to do that think ability and feeling that is confidence.
The second type is called mature, to be mature means that you know, you do not have the ability to do it, and you feel that you can't do it.
And if for example,
if I'm going to fight with someone, and I know that this person has training, I don't have the training that person has. And I know that I don't have the ability and I feel that I can't choose my fights.
So a mature person chooses their battles, doesn't go into everything and anything. Yeah, I can do and be a hero. That's called ego, and you're going to fall flat on your face. A mature person and a believer chooses what they can and what they can't and get walks away. It's okay, it's fine. The third type is called overconfidence, overconfidence, brothers and sisters, is when you know you don't have the ability, but you feel you can do it. Don't, don't do that you'll destroy yourself. And the last one is called under confidence. And the confidence is when you know you have the ability, and when it comes time to implement it. You don't feel you have the ability. This is what I
saw. I said I'm set to failure damages, rely on Allah and go forward, be brave, be brave, as much as you can. The first step you take Inshallah, the next time you'll have the next step. And that is the quality of the believer. Once as you know in the biography of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the Battle of you remember the Battle of the Battle of Muhammad, the enemies of Islam were coming to attack the Muslims in Medina and they had gathered the largest army yet the Muslims were going to be annihilated if you look at just numbers and the allegiances against them, the story is long. And the battle of Osho
the Muslims started to motivate the prophesy Salim and insist on going out Rasulillah Salam had seen a dream. And he came out to them and said, I saw in my dream, and you know, the dream of the prophets is from Allah. He said I was wearing a solid armor
said I was wearing a solid armor and I saw cattle that was slaughtered in front of me. They said what do you think about assault Allah He said, I think we should stay in Medina. It's an armor. And if we go out, it's going to be a catastrophe. Now, they said yeah, Rasul Allah, is this your interpretation about one of those? He said, Yes. They said, We think Rasul Allah that you may have made a mistake in them but now Rasulillah Salam didn't give it in, in a form of command. He gave me said look, this can happen or that can happen. They said we think we should go out among them was Hamza Allah and I said, Yeah, rasool Allah go out what Allah who I will not meet them except there.
These people are like this and like that, then they got too confident. Now the Prophet sallallahu Sallam went back inside and he wore his normal armor. He wore two armors that day, and a heavier helmet. When he came out, the Muslims felt guilty. And they said, The Rasul Allah, we felt guilty. We weren't thinking, we'll take what you said. Listen to what he said. He says, No prophet wears an armor and then takes it back off. What does it mean? He says, now that we have made a decision, we move with it. We do not take a step backwards. And this is the way to build your character. Once you've planned. You've gotten advice. You've all agreed, and you've made a decision, and you've
moved away, keep going with that decision. Until a catastrophe happens like something really obvious. So nothing was obvious yet. Just ideas. He said, We don't we move forward and we do not hesitate anymore. As Allah says for either as Mr. photowalk Allah, Allah, Allah, once you are determined, rely on Allah and move forward.
That's how all the prophets were. When they move forward to the Battle of God. They almost won the battle. But we all know the archers on the hill. Their love for the spoils of war got to them. And you all know they're still all new Muslims. So they're still used to battles and taking the spoils. They forgot the teachings of the Prophet Alas, LM he told them don't go off the hill. Then they said the spoils of war go and get your stuff. No, and most of them came off the hill. When they came off the hill kind of didn't Well, it was a disbeliever at that time. He was the horseman who led the horses and he found a way to come in like a hook and they surrounded the Muslims because now they
were disorganized. There was no one on the
he'll to stop them from coming in and the Muslims, many were massacred. Just like the dream of the prophets of the last Allah. And the Prophet himself was injured in that battle. And he almost died in once we've got killed, and Hamza, the one who said let's go out he got murdered in that battle to
battle the Allahu Anhu Jemaine
Allah says in this about this battle, he said, in a long, obviously in sort of the Toba and others, that what had happened to you, I'm just translating what had happened to you, you may assume that it was bad for you, but who are hiring, it is good for you. Well, Allahu Allah want to Natalia and ALLAH knows and you do not know, whatever has happened to you, and we'll see. But think of it as good. Allah is guiding us to tell us that even when you fail, be optimistic even in failure.
It's hard. But we have the Quran telling us because you can overturn a failure into success. So what do you do with the failure you learn from it? I always repeat this same analogy a baby. How does a baby learn how to walk, just learn from the baby, the baby gets up and falls gets up and falls in different ways. The baby is subconsciously learning.
Say if say fell 100 times it's learning 100 ways of how not to fall by falling 100 times.
The only way to learn 100 ways of how not to fall is by falling 100 times. So Allah tells them, it was not bad for you, it is good no matter how it appears. And truly It was after that they learned a big lesson, we move on to the fourth one, self management brothers and sisters. Now this is something that I see a lot of people neglect, self management and discipline.
To have good self management and discipline, Islam teaches us get your priorities right.
Get your priorities, what you can't take everything you have to say 123 priorities. Number two, have time management. Make a time for everything don't do, don't just use your time and wasted on everything. No. And number three,
know that in life. You're gonna have three types of interactions with people. Don't be one without the other. You're ready for it in managing your interactions with people and yourself. So we said prioritize. We said time management. And number three, you need. You need to use people and they use you. So here's what it is. Number one has been telling me and other scholars I think remember know who said this, Allahu Allah, my may have made a mistake, but they said something wise, they said in takuna, se Ron, you might be a prisoner in life, own of Iran, or equal to others. Oh, me, Ron. Oh, a commander.
To be a prisoner is when somebody does a favor for you.
Now you owe them. You kinda like a prisoner, metaphorically speaking, it's not a bad thing that just say I see it means you do owe them. When you see them, I owe them or equal equal means when you don't need others, and they don't need you. So you have skills to look after yourself. That's a beautiful place to be. You don't owe anyone anything they don't owe you you are equal to them. And number three, a commander is when you do good for others, they owe you now, you can't be a commander always. Because you'll be exhausted. Always leading other people. You cannot be the associate of the prisoner always because then you're a loser. And you cannot be equal with everyone else. Because
life, the natural way of life is that you need people and people need you. So don't get an ego about it. But also Salah Salem needed people, sometimes they would need him and other times he would be equal with them. materialistically materialistically. I'll give an example of him being equal. And let's also say there was a prophet and messenger of God, he brings us Deen. But there are things about life which he doesn't know more than others, such as crops and farming and all that stuff, even in battles and war and location. He used to ask them, What do you think? And sometimes they'll say, Dr. Salah, we don't agree with what you said, because it's not a religious matter. It's a
normal worldly matter. So you do also need to be equal with others. And that's how life goes. Number five.
A person who builds himself or herself must be okay, with constructive criticism.
You will not learn unless you accept what people say. Sometimes they're rude.
Sometimes they're polite. What you got to do a strong person is able to sift through the emotions
and take what benefits you that's the Hadith process and the head of sila May and Foulke. Be diligent on what benefits you sometimes you may receive. If you're on social media, someone puts something that's terribly arrogant and rude. If you can take something from it good and go on apply it. If it's all rude and no benefit. Ignore it. That's a strong person because that
person does not make you. And if you let them affect you, that means they've got control over you.
Number six, to be a strong person and build yourself, you need to be able to accept your mistakes and be okay with them.
You need to accept your mistakes and be okay with them completely okay with them. And you need to own your mistakes. That way, nobody has control over you. You don't let your mistakes define you either. Someone says you made a mistake, sir. Thank you.
Someone acknowledges something. And so I actually acknowledge it. I once had a conversation on the aeroplane with an elderly man. And he was quite intelligent. And a whole trip for two hours. We were talking back and forth. Sometimes it makes a good point after I had made a point. And I would say I see. Well, that's a good point. I would acknowledge, as Brian said, but I have a different angle as well. What do you think if this happened, or that happened? So that's a good point. What about this one, so we were bouncing off each other. Sometimes I would beat him sometimes beat me. In the end, Hamdulillah I, I beat him. But we were going through the whole big talk. After we finished there was
a man sitting behind us, he gets up and puts in and goes, please allow me to shake the hands of these two gentlemen, your conversate he said, I haven't seen a conversation between two people like gentleman in a very long time. Why? Because a gentleman and a strong person. I'm not praising myself, I do make mistakes. And sometimes I do fail. We all fail. But the strong person is one who is able to accept that they made a mistake. So what watch the stress go off you watch how much you'll develop and watch how people will respect you even more. So Own your mistakes, acknowledge them, and have no problem with it. Everybody makes mistakes. And this will lead you to forgive
yourself as well. Some people have problems forgiving them so they can never forgive themselves. Except that if you have done right by Allah, ask him to forgive you. And know that Allah Samantha wipes everything away and you are only human, you make mistakes and you develop and learn. Number seven very important brothers and sisters, a strong person to build themselves take this advice Wallah he, I've we've tried it and it works tremendously. Very simple, yet very hard to implement. Rasul Allah sallam said man Hosni Islam and ether Kumala, Yanni.
A person to improve their Islam is to leave that which does not concern them. Don't go into areas that are not your business. Don't ask about things that are not your concern. Don't pry into things that don't concern you. Anything in life, things that don't benefit you are not of your concern, people's problems and people's secrets. Don't pry into them. You're not invited. Don't ask
a person didn't you call the person twice? Three times I didn't reply. That's it.
Don't keep asking. You knocked on a person's door. They didn't answer you knew their insight. They didn't answer walk away with your dignity and don't talk about it. This is their right not yours. And except that ALLAH says in the Quran, we're in clearly the Akela Kumar jofa geo meaning if you go to visit someone or and they tell you go back Allah says go to zero, go back the ride is not yours. Don't sit there talking about and say I know they're in their in their this and that this is not your business. Allahu Allah. And what is that? What is within that, and that's a high value person. Don't get involved in businesses that are not yours and watch how less stress your life is, how more
how healthier you'll be how you'll sleep better, how you'll be happier in life brothers and sisters Subhanallah number eight,
easy to say a bit hard to implement for some people avoid as much as you can jealousy, envy and comparing yourself to competing with others in the wrong way for the wrong reason. competing with others for the wrong reason. Competition is good, but not for the wrong reasons. Jealousy envy and competing with others for the wrong reason will destroy you, my brothers and sisters. It will destroy you.
And number nine, goes without saying the modern person knows all this your diet, your exercise, and your sleep. Three things. All of these are in the Sunnah. And maybe one day we'll talk about this in detail. Your diet can make a difference in your energy levels, your esteem, how you feel your moods, and your health, your exercise and also our Salah Mr. exercise every day. He used to run. He used to jog. He used to train. One time he even encouraged his wife. He says Let's race he should have the lawn. He beat her. She didn't forget it. She says after a few years, I put on a little bit of weight
sorry the first time he did let me repeat that salsa Sallam told her Let's race and she beat him.
She said a few years later, I put on a little bit of weight.
And he said Let's race this
On he'd beat me. Obviously the first time I saw solar cell and let her beat him anyway. But he's engaging in a nice relationship and also doing exercise together. And she said, It's not fair. I was a little bit lighter that time and he was laughing, saying, No, we're equal. Now you've been the last time now me one four, and we're equal. Now we're equal for that Cyrus was the Los Alamos and once he tapped one person on his stomach in the Salah there was moving making the line straight and just tapped one person whose stomach was a little bit protruding. He was joking with him.
And when they're also Salah Salem was on is about to die on his deathbed he came out and he said anybody who has anything that I owe them that I've wronged them in come and take your right now. And this man said, Yeah, Rasul Allah one time you you hurt me you tapped me on my stomach prasar Selim lifted his shirt up, of course over his belly button.
And he said, take your revenge. So the man kissed his, his belly and the prompts are seldom stomach. And he said, there are so Allah I wanted to get the baraka, the blessing of you. And this the baraka and the blessing of the prophets is established in the Quran and Sunnah. For
diet, health russelsheim told us if you can have a third of your stomach for what a third for a third for water before for food, if you can, so and the way we sleep, monitor your sleep, some people, they stay up all night, and then they sleep late. Even if you get your 10 hours, it's not enough. You need to sleep early, and look after your body. And if you can do a clean Luna in the daytime, a little siesta that will also help brothers and sisters moving to the last one, sticking to your rights and your boundaries. How do you know you have a healthy, strong
It's when you know your rights. You know other people's rights, you know your boundaries, and you let people know your boundaries, and you know other people's boundaries, and you don't transgress the boundaries.
And in this are relationships that become either sick relationships, toxic relationships, lively relationships, or dead relationships, how it's got to do with rights, and boundaries. A lively relationship is when it's filled with justice, kindness, mercy, giving, forgiving, pardoning talking, discussing, it's called the life the relationship husband and wife, friends, brothers and sisters, all of you. The second sickening relationship is when you only do things because you don't want the person to be upset. I better go man, but I just don't want to upset them. But you've got priorities. I know that I just, I don't want to get them upset. That's low self esteem. There's a
polite way of saying sorry, I can't and saying no, don't be a total yes person. The toxic relationship is when people expect you or you expect them to do something that is not their obligation. And you don't give them anything in return. Someone expects you to do an obligation for them. And they don't give you anything in return. And if you don't do it, they will guilt trip you as if it's an obligation. An example, if you have two friends, and you decided to invite one friends to a coffee, the other friend finds out and let's say the other friend is a toxic type, who will come and guilt trip you and blame you and put you down and say why didn't you invite me and not a
loyal friend? Did you know I know. And then you probably talked about me. And then guilt tripping you like as if it was an obligation? No, it wasn't an obligation. Same with relatives. Same with parents. Same with children, if there are rights and obligations. Of course, let me repeat that. When it comes to people, you have no choice of having a relationship like your parents and your siblings, your cousins. You don't work with them on rights and obligations. rights and obligations between your relatives are only used when things go wrong. When things a dispute happens, you go back to who's right who's right is what. But family should be based on kindness, empathy, goodness,
sacrifice, and giving up some of your rights. Not all of them, but some of them. Same with the husband and wife. You can't deal with rights. Just your right and my right that's like that's like roommates. It's which leads me to something called a dead relationship. A dead relationship is where everyone is indifferent. I don't care if you do it, don't do it. I don't care if you have an obligation on our neck if you love me or not. If you're here, I don't care. I don't realize you're here if you're gone, I don't ask about you. These are the type of relationships you have to end. So brothers sisters, as you can see, there are lots of qualities these are the 10 qualities of
hamdulillah and I end up with this.
Some people will hurt you with words and actions. It's up to you what you want to do and be
you can let those words hurt you and change you or you can acknowledge and feel sorry for that person
and do what the Prophet sallallahu wasallam did
He was giving out some charities and one man from the Ansari said hurtful words he said well Allah He didn't do justice about the prophets Allah says.
So another company says Allahu Allah will tell the Messenger of Allah what you said about him. He went to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and said to him, yeah, Rasul Allah, this person said this to you in secret.
And Rasul Allah sallam said, he got angry, why did he get angry? He got angry because he's talking about the messenger of God that He is unjust. That's got to do with religion and Amen. But then he calmed down and said, Look, God, oh, the Musa be Agatha demon Delica forcible. Moses was harmed even greater than that by his people, but he remained persevering and patient. So choose your battles and keep your character good. Finally, brothers and sisters smile. A person with good strong character is able to smile. A friend said to me, they were a union, they had a presentation in front of the class. And one day a friend got up and was given a presentation they were nervous, everybody's
staring at them with a blank face. And this person who I know was smiling to the presenter, and saying,
just nodding their head and smiling encouraging them. After they finished that person. never forgot that favor that the friend did for them smiling and encouraging them. Everybody loves when people motivates and encourages, and smiling goes a huge way. Ross also our seller, Mr. Always smile is to always be cheerful. And it releases beautiful neurotransmitters in your brain and your bodies such as dopamine, and endorphins and serotonin and all these different names, which de stress you some of them are antidepressants, some of them give you satisfaction and happiness, and some of them they build your immune system. Anger however, one minute of anger makes you your immune system go down by
four hours. One moment of happiness and a bit of laughter and smiles build your immune system for 24 hours. So brothers and sisters, this is a strong person insha Allah Allah I'm sorry, I took long a call Lakonia that was tough for Allah Allah Allah. Wa sallahu wa Nabina Muhammad while Ernie was a big man