The Ideal Muslim Family

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Alaa Elsayed

Channel: Alaa Elsayed

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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hamdulillah salat wa salam ala rasulillah mvat

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First, I'd like to say that I'm extremely proud of the brothers and the sisters here in Australia Masha loves the little this poor slave of Allah has come to share.

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And I thought I came here to teach you or share something with you but I actually ended up learning a lot more from the machete May Allah bless them and Sharla and learning about the Brotherhood. You can really feel the the I mean, I defer shift

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the shift of it. May Allah bless him I learned from him too. Maybe he knows the inside but the impression that I got well he is priceless I saw Australia is beautiful in scenery, but what made this trip special for me was the Brotherhood. May Allah bless you inshallah and keep that beautiful bond. And the brothers that helped endlessly is the generosity. It is it was so beautiful I was touched to ally but may Allah Subhana Allah unite our hearts, we can solve our differences and unite our goals in sha Allah. I learned a lot more about Nando

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and that aloe vera drink thingy and Mashallah so this is something that I want to take back and share with us to Canada.

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Without any further ado, ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah inshallah, to make this purely for SIG, and except from all of us. I mean,

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the topic is the ideal Muslim family. And what better Muslim family could be more than Prophet Mohammed Salah lavallee was alone, as our

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as our role model, the leader, and the family that we can learn from. So I'm going to ask you, my dear brothers, sisters in Islam to join me on a trip.

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A little journey back in time.

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I want to take you back, where you can see the best of creation alayhi salatu salam, how he lived, how he was the best and everything he did.

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The best father, the best husband, the best leader,

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the best Prophet and Messenger,

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the best man, the best son, the best of all, the best neighbor and so on.

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When Allah Subhana Allah to Allah says what Jelena the nakum mawatha hora. So we know that the meaning of the translation, or the interpretation is when made amongst you know, what the love, compassion or mercy. So say the foundation and the two pillars of the marriage should be those two inshallah. So while we're going through this quick journey, let us take the ABCs quickly, in the time that is allotted, hopefully, we will come up with solutions and a game plan and takeaways so we can start change, as we learned today from a man shaved his head and I have been taking notes, and I will be asking you some more shallow later on.

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So the first thing, looking at it now as a proactive approach, how could I make this family an ideal Muslim family? And we say prevention is better than cure said

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in Islam, let's establish it in our Muslim family. And why is it so important to have a Muslim family because if you think about it, it is the bedrock of the omen. The oma is made of nations and the nation and made of cities and the cities of communities and the communities of the families are the bedrock of the oma is a family the household is what holds it together makes it or breaks it for us. So, let us visit that ideal Muslim family and let us start from the beginning meaning before it begins. So if you want to have a successful family, please understand that you should have a best partner

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and the best way to start this is to follow the Quran and Sunnah. So let us listen. Before you become a reactive let us be proactive. And number one, number one writes for your children, believe it or not, before they're born is to choose the righteous spouse, brother or sister that may be.

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So let us find out what Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam said,

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of the choice quickly and find out what happens in true life. Do we really eat to the message of Islam? Because if we do, we will be happy and pleased in this life in the hereafter. But if we stay away from the teaching of Islam, we will pay the price in this life in the hereafter.

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So first, let us talk to the sisters.

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When I ask the sisters, when they come to complain in the office, my husband drinks my husband does drugs. My husband doesn't pray my husband beats me up my husband, my husband, my husband, you know what? What do I say to her? What do you think?

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I simply asked her On what basis? Did you say I do to this man?

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So

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I turn the table. It's true.

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We're not saying that we're not going to help the sister. But first let us look at the decision making process that we've made.

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So when prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sends

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that to downpayments of choosing is hello and Dean and Amana another narration,

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the moral conduct, the behavior, the characteristics of this man

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and the religious background and the amount of trustworthiness and we'll go into the Quran when we go back to the daughter of stripe alayhis salam, when he says yeah, but he said, in the higher minister job, we mean, oh, my father, hire him. Because the best of those you've hired is those strong, the trustworthy. So let's go through these criterias

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and find out how you made the decision.

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If you're already married,

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we'll find out what you can do.

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So now one Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam says, this whole look, this matters the moral conduct. We understand this only if we know that the nature of woman is emotionally based, as we know that the nature of man is a physically based making the decision accordingly. So Prophet Mohammed Salah knowing that fact he knows that the man has to be sensitive to deal with an emotional woman, even going back to our insurer,

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inherited this great grave lie that she was innocent of, and declared innocence up in sort of the mood.

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When Allah Subhana Allah revealed on YouTube the main focus of my work in a Yeoman kiama Allah subhanaw taala revealed the verses to be recited to judgment D revealed from the seventh heaven.

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But at the time, he

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was flabbergasted, she could not

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rebuttal or communicate the information that you wanted to go back to the verse as a May you feel Shelia Islami by removing those who grew up you were raised here. If you don't understand this look at your young daughter when you leave her own COVID Is that right? Aisha? She's still here.

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Michelle, just

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you know, you find your daughter is sneaking. Going through the doors of her mother picking up the makeup and all of a sudden you see this big red thing here and yellow and green and blue and as I met you here, they take those stories and they start making this doll waffle society that you don't want being there not a manifest is not clear. I'm objective when when they start to rebuttal and argue because when we have it men we say 1234 we get to the facts then and then but the defensive a woman and once you start throwing a bottle What does she do?

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Her defenses?

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How do you have a defense against that man? You see these eyes that you love you grow to love so much and you struggle.

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Okay, honey, I gave Okay, you win, you win.

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But what did she say when Allah subhanaw taala declared that alberca study for the law when Saba does mean say go back

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and thank Prophet Mohammed Salah, but prior to that what you say when she was accused, imagine put yourself in that position. When she says yeah, Betty Oh my father defend me. So Allah He led Rima cool, I don't know what to say. This is prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. His thing is stuff realism big stuff very big. ask Allah for forgiveness. So her her her own husband is doesn't know what he's accusing of certain things. There's not accusing but saying ask Allah to forgive just in case if you did.

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And even her father.

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He said, I don't know what to say your mother's name. So Allah He makhoul in the McAllen, Abu Saleh.

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By Allah I will only see what that righteous leave of Allah says

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And she couldn't remember the name.

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This is for sablon Jamil while longs to an elemental seafood, that's what she was trying to say. Be comprehensive, this most beautiful perfect type of patients complained to no one except to Allah subhanaw taala a meal login assist me of that, what do you attribute that to me?

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So you have to understand that that fact of sensitivity is attributed to that. Because Prophet Mohammed says of them, looking after the woman in Islam

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and the deen according to one of the VEDA, that if you don't pray, you're not a Muslim. Could you imagine? If you don't pray you're not a Muslim. It's not our topic. I won't go into it. But even then, could you take a chance of it? Could you understand that even those children could be illegitimate children on Judgement Day? So prophet masala says hello indeed.

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An Amana trustworthiness and strength as was mentioned earlier, we have a very limited time this is a brief inshallah one. But when you ask the sisters On what basis

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Did you say yes to this man? What do you think they say?

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Did you see this? How can I say no to that? That's a beautiful ring. The man drove in with a Mercedes Benz. Oh, his hair style. Are you kidding me? How can I say no to that the man has been doing

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alone, Stan.

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So now

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just in case the brothers were thinking they were off the hook.

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Now when I go to the universities usually talk to the youth and I say Do you remember what Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam said?

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How do you choose your spouse? You remember the Hadith is?

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Was there do you?

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Remember? Oh yes, I remember. What do you remember from the

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Legionella? Of course.

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I remember her beauty force. Do you remember anything? Well, if it's kind of vague, my brother it's kind of the normal shots you know? It's just

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the shush is a pure Egyptian we're just in case the brothers Oh yes, I found out about money of course.

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You're ready

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to mess around with the minear brothers.

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So now when you talk to the brothers what happened to the headache? What happened to the rest of the head? If you remember her beauty? Yes, Islam is a practical religion. He wants you to have a beautiful wife no problems especially live in this society and they help you man. You walk around downtown Sydney in the summer.

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You see things

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your sisters in humanity

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and then you go home and look at your

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so in Islam as a practical religion says beauty is good.

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No problems. inshallah. But is there anything else? Yes, yes. hamdulillah This is lagenaria Yes, Roth is good the lineage the the upbringing, the environment that was talked about earlier, and so on. But Prophet Mohammed Salim says for me that the deen Theravada

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the true winning the true success is the owner of religion.

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So I want to give you an example that hopefully you won't forget. It's a visual.

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So please make sure it's imprinted in the back of your head just in case brothers because I know there's a lot of single brothers here. I've been talking to them

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when we're working on getting you married, and so

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you have too many sisters around Sydney. What's going on?

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So I will Charlotte diva, Michelle, we all love listen to I'm sure it's safe if he helped the brothers man. Come on.

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Alongside that, so now the brothers please. Here we go. The Prophet Mohammed Salim says the first thing on his list is always number one.

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Dean, you're right.

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Thank you.

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Number one on Prophet Mohammed says on this list. I'm not talking about the choice because of how Jesus Kalani said beauty but I'll explain that because it doesn't go through against the

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adversary. I'll explain it. He says look into the beauty first. Because if religion is no good the refusal comes

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because the deen is the most important. So if her beauty is good, the religion is good go on.

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But if the beauty is no good move out because of the beauty is no good. Then you find out the deen is good you refuse it because of that. cannot refuse it because of the D

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So according to says number one is Dean Muslim buoyant and now she's a she's beautiful hamdulillah that's a blessing. So it is zero, Susan and now she's a 10

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now she's rich, bonus. It's 100% man.

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She also comes from a good family upbringing, good lineage. She's batting 1000

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now take away the dean, what do you got?

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You got three zeros.

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Enjoy.

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This is just a quick introductory to how to choose your spouse. We talked about this and shall learn more details tomorrow and even more details when I come back in the lab with teaching the Home Sweet Home blog author next year.

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Exactly. Now the second phase, second phase.

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Now understanding the difference between the two Please understand, I'll only give you this can go into too much details. As we mentioned the woman is emotionally based and men are physically based. So men will learn to love the woman they're attracted to.

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And women will learn to be attracted to the man they love.

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The choices are based on this Believe it or not.

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But let us go through a quicker journey inshallah. That is take prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. How did he do with Khadija Raja levana who was Khadija to him?

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When he saw jabril Hollis

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when he says the maroon is a Moloney Cover me cover me shiver and shake and afraid

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most of us brothers if you're afraid if you have a problem where do you go?

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You go to your buddy you go to your the posse, you go to the Caribbean, you go where's the hood?

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You go to your best friend what the prophet Mohammed Salim do. He did the same he went to his best friend who was his best friend. How do you judge Allah Allah?

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So you ask yourself

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is your wife really your best friend?

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a best friend that's a lover is the best combination.

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How the Prophet Mohammed Salim deal with a Chateau de la Nova

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Wasn't he the one that when our Isha rajala wanna wanna madman

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when she took the glass of water and drink from it,

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she placed it down didn't either one wasn't he the one that took the same glass turns around, please. His lips were lips water and drink from it.

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It's a beautiful romantic story. You can read about Samson and Delilah. You can read about the Tarzan and Jane you can read about all these fiction characters, and Romeo and Juliet. And yes, whatever. Throw down your hair and

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all these fancy characters and all that stuff? Well, you probably saw them and I showed you

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the best of the romantic stories true true stories.

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Wasn't he the one that had a foot race without a shadow? delana

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remember when the first the beginning of marriage, he had a foot race but he was young thing? Strong.

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She beat him in the first race.

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But then he says I should sit down eat this drink that no don't work so hard.

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She got a little bit older Liberty heavier says let's race again.

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So the second time he beat her is this heavy because we're even now look at the beautiful spirit. Look at the beautiful Prophet Mohammed Salah Salah we don't so how could you not actually take your wife out and deal with her? I'm not asking you to have a footrace now with the Australian

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you'll be arrested.

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I'm asking you to have this beautiful spirit with the with your wife. This bomb the string the beauty of that love, used to sing it was the hook that declared that I love even have a Chateau de la Nova. But how are you doing with your wife Effie? Can you actually see IE?

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We can say I love you to your wife. You know why? Because we carry old baggage luggage from what we call back home because you You're a man who's the man

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You're the man. Mashallah.

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But the man is actually narrated in the Quran. He had a job where in the massages, I won't go there.

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Another topic with the youth in sha Allah. But Prophet Muhammad wa salam declared his love to to our nation.

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So how could we not? He leads by example we're asked by Allah subhanaw taala to follow, he's also he's our role model, he's our leader, we follow suit inshallah, and he gives me that beautiful gift. You know, men we can express our love very much. This is just another difference between men and woman. So okay, I'll give you a secret.

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The secret is very simple, but we'll go in details again torrentshell

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man can express his emotions and feelings verbally so he uses materialistic position strew

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This is how he expresses himself.

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So when you see him give you that flower or chocolate or gift it means I love you

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are you taking notes down man? You better writing this down so flowers vote

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right look at the beauty how Prophet Muhammad handled how he was there's so much more to share. But now the other side

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booty

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I will only give you two headings inshallah.

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The first one

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when Prophet Mohammed Salah Salem I can't go into all of them but we'll take one

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when Prophet Mohammed Salim says it has a little motto Hamza was sama Chara personal soldier, Walter at soldier Bella kilala to live gentlemen a bourbon shoot. How come apart in sahana Salah Larissa

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the meaning says if a woman prays

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or five obligatory prayers once you can, of course, and she fast per month meaning of Ramadan when she can of course, and she protected her chastity

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and she was obedient to her husband. But we see, we have to have a disclaimer when we say obedience. C'est la vie, mahalo. Look, female says

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there is no obedience of the creation meaning your husband in the disobedience of the Creator meaning alone so why don't you love Yoda? So we say obedience of Allah Spano. Tada. So when you do these things,

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on a day that's 50,000 years with a son leaves its orbit and it's that close to our heads people will be drenched on his words.

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Imagine

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only for doing these things. The eight gates of heaven will open and say come through any gate you wish. Subhan Allah

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another Hadith when it's dubbed worth it in the delegated woman or the ambassador woman, a woman came to Prophet Mohammed Salim says yeah Mashallah, jell o men.

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says you've gotten everything.

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Because if you go perform jihad, you will get rewarded. If you are harmed you'll get rewarded if you die you die as a martyr.

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impious Meaning what? If you go perform hajj and umrah if we go come to perform prayers in congregation we get the reward says we stay at home look after your homes, your family, your clothes, your food and so on.

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What's in it for us? wisdom what's in it for me?

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So Prophet Mohammed Salim looked at her says this is an intellectual woman. Very smart question indeed. He says go back until the woman folks

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apparently the own with her though let's just keep this ambition shallow. So we're back until the woman folks what the first note about that is

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that you being a righteous obedient wife to your husband, and admit to his rights upon you.

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is equivalent to everything that you mentioned. But he didn't stop there. Susan, only few of you who do Meola make you among the few of the

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if you want the reward for jihad, if you want the reward for martyrdom, if you want the reward for Hajj, the pilgrimage and ombre prayer and congregation,

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be obedient to your husband in obedience of olanzapine agenda, viola.

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Now, when it comes to arguments, never argue in front of your kids.

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But I'll give you some a sample of arguments.

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Now we know Abu hanifa to lay his own wife asked him a question and we know who among the four greatest scholars

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or imaams.

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He was asked by his wife a question he gave her the answer is no, no, that's not the right answer.

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And several honeyville

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so he says Who will you take

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He says your student abusive, he goes to his student. He goes, my wife will not listen to me.

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She will listen to you.

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Because Okay, Master, yes, my teacher, what is the question? He tells them the question, because Okay, so what is the answer?

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He tells them the answer.

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So he goes back to his wife. He says, here's my student told him the question, she gives him the same question as she gave to Abu hanifa. So he gives her the same answer that Abu hanifa has given her before you know what you said? Just

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there is the right answer. That's the right answer.

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It was the same answer. But Abu hanifah Rahmatullah Lee understood that as understood, as Prophet Mohammed Salim understood, just in case you're wondering, even Ashura de la was told by Prophet Mohammed Salah, Mrs. Aisha in the alum. I know when you're happy with me, and you know, when you're displeased with me.

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He says, When you're happy with me, you see LAO or be Muhammad. When you're not happy with me as a lover of Ibrahim.

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She says, well, law here are sort of La Rocha.

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1170 we're like in a coffee coffee.

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Oh, by Allah or messenger of Allah. Allah is sort of Salaam. I only abandon you with my tongue but you still in my heart?

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Is we usually get from the sisters go, oh, they're holding back on me. I know.

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Now

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you know where I'm at is man.

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among the few or the one in some duration is the only one that migrated in daylight.

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Yes, he says any of you want to have your children to be orphaned. One to have your wife to be a widow want your mother to lose a son follow me behind that valley. I'm migrating.

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Now one person moved. Ramadan. Katara de la was the same one, that when he looked back when men followed him, he looked back suddenly because he remembered something they passed out.

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Because they thought almost coming back to him or something

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was narrated in one of the headings that he used to sit on the horse his feet would dangle such that the floor was that big and tall. Rama mahapatra de la one Savage. Many men feared Roma. When he was a mirror mini in, a man was coming to complain about his wife. Just before he knocks on the door.

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He hears he goes through his home. He his

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wife given him a hard time.

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I rest my case.

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So as soon as they finish

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anyone who married here anywhere, that's not just me. You hear that? Okay.

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I can see that my wife isn't here. She was supposed to come here with me. But anyway, it's a long story. I'm not gonna cry over it.

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So the man just turned around, walk away from a hot tub opens the door says come. You came here for a reason. He says

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he's I came to you to complain about my own wife. And I heard what I heard it says yeah.

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He says she looks after my whims and desires. She looks after the food she looks after the hostess at the house, she looks after the kids she looks after, after after after. So long list

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FLR hospital Ania should have patience, and deal with her nicely. So this is my word. This is the mercy This is the love and compassion that we should swallow strings.

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Now on the other side,

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regarding our kids,

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how to raise them properly.

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Most of us want to see us see our kids better than anyone else. There is no other creation on the face of the earth, that we want anybody else to be better than them except the parents for the kids. Rest assured that there are the exceptions that you hear about on the news.

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But it's not the case.

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I'm sure that you'll know that Allium NaVi talavera de La da da Lama had mentioned something

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to us we should listen.

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He says do not raise your children the same way you were raised

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because they were born and raised in a different time and environment than you were.

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So if you speak to your children are free and often.

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When I was your age, remember that? When I was your age, I used to do this when I was your age

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I used to do that when I was your age I go to school, bare feet in the snow uphill both ways.

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So I say please file this record this broken record under g that's what it belongs. They don't listen to you anymore. You have to speak the language understand them well.

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And make sure that you have the seven year factor this 21 methods, first seven years to give them TLC as much as possible.

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Not the channel TLC I don't know if you have it here or not, you know tender loving here hug and breeze. Prophet Mohammed Salim how much you used to

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as a father, or a grandfather, what it has to say no de la numa on elevators.

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Used to hug them an embrace used to be like a fitness, even when he used to prostrate what happened used to climb his back used to prolong this frustration, so they can take their time.

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We know what happened to him, or the law and

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the case, he says a two part when you kiss your children.

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When you saw prophet Muslim kissing and Hassan Hussein,

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what did he say? Is I wonder?

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I wonder about you people, you kiss your children? Because of course, he's I have 10 children. I have not kissed any of them yet.

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So what comes on him say you're the man that strong, showing no emotions. That's exactly what we're looking for in men. Is that right?

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Absolutely not.

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He says what do I do if Allah subhanaw taala snatch the mercy from your heart. Those who will have no mercy on others, Allah will have no mercy on them.

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Have mercy upon those who are on the earth so Allah will have mercy upon you in the heavens.

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So you ask yourself,

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when was the last time you hugged your child?

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When was the last time you can give them a kiss?

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Do your children run to you? or run away from you?

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Imagine yourself opened the door.

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And now they say Here comes trouble. Not me, not you.

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I was talking about your father and child.

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In the last five minutes I have to share with you and Sharla just make sure we're lucky that you do don't miss out on your children. Don't be like the man that was asked by his son. How much do you make an hour that

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his father just come from home or from tired?

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And he says Get away from me. So as far as some good, upset cry, turned away and went home to his room.

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So the father now realize that he made a mistake. He goes back to his son, because I'm sorry, son.

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I make $10 an hour.

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He goes, here you go that

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I've saved $10. Can I have one hour of your time?

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That's the one time you say

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No, you're right. There is an all for sure. So don't lose it. Don't miss out. Because you will spend time with your children but not in the right environment. You will you will spend the time with them in a police station or rehab center or spend time with them. Now before you you will have to spend time with them in the wrong place.

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Or if you're on the low end lanova sorry for tomorrow Dylan Oba cried when Prophet Mohammed Salah was dying You know why?

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Because Prophet Mohammed Salaam couldn't get up.

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Because she was used to when she comes home. The Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would get up and kiss on her forehead and give her his place.

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That's the beautiful bond.

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That's a beautiful time you spend with your children.

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Now talking quickly to the children.

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I would only give you one letter. There's too much to share with you when it comes to the other side.

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I will give you a letter that is written by a mother.

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Euclid beside the line

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should be imprinted in your minds never leave.

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This mother is writing to her own son

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and she says

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When I bought my son

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so many years ago

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I have heard the great news and mother son know the great news. When I heard from the doctor that I was pregnant,

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it'd become a burden.

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I breathe heavily.

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I eat forcefully.

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I turn with difficulties. I get up with anguish. I move with pain. As you grew, so did my love to you.

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And they came and night Oh my son, while law he mowed dining by Allah. I saw death with my own eyes.

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Went through the labor pain.

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It was all gone when I saw that beautiful face smiling.

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I had sleepless nights so you can sleep. I went hungry so you can eat. I wouldn't thirsty so I can quench your thirst.

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All my goal was to see you happy. I smiled when I saw you smile. I cried. When I saw you cry.

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You grew to a beautiful, strong young man. And I remember your first talk, I murmur your first walk. I remember the first time that you went to school. I remember the first time when you graduated. Now you've grown you become a strong man. You're looking for a wife. So I ran right and left to look for that wife that you were hoping for. And I did find her but only to miss that son

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that I had.

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It only made me think and question myself. What sin have I done? What mistake have I committed when you were the one that are raised with my own hands?

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Treat me like one of your friends. Come see me once in a while.

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I will not raise my hands to the heaven and complained to about you to Allah because it will be answered but that will pay me because I still love you.

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But oh my son Be careful. The gray is starting to screw in your hair.

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And one day we will meet in front of Allah. And one day you will be writing this letter with your own tears do your own son

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Oh my son come back before it's too late.

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With this

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I asked Allah subhana wa tada

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to make us among those who listen speech and follow the rest of it. And I ask Allah subhanho wa Taala together as he gathers in this dunya together is in heaven with Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam

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hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salam ala Sufi winterberry. Solomonic more