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Understand Your Children

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Waleed Basyouni

Channel: Waleed Basyouni

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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Hello.

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In the hamdulillahi Mohammed who want to stay in or who want to study he wanna stop hero. When I will be learning in shallowly I'm fusina Omen sejahtera Medina, Maja de la hufa movie La MaMa you blue Farah hodja y shadow Allah ilaha illallah wa de la sharika y shadow, Mohammed Abu rasuluh Allahumma salli ala Muhammad Anwar Mohammed can also later Allah Ibrahima innaka hamidou machine and by the law,

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all praise due to Alon His praise and blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his family, his companions and his followers until the day of judgment. I bear witness that Allah is the only one worthy of worship and Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his last and final messenger. There is a word in the Quran was repeated 32 times in 19 different saws, Kenny methodological Koran, Sonata you with an Athena Mama, if you decide to Asha surah, when my mother tikar me at

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this point, to emphasize the importance of this word, which is the year which it means offsprings or children.

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There is no doubt family is the cornerstone for building any society. That's why there's so much emphasis on the Quran and the Sunnah of the prophet of Allah in our religion and the importance of family and raising family and taking care of them and having a strong foundation for the society by having a strong family. And Allah subhanho wa Taala, in many verses mentioned that, for instance, Allah subhanaw taala said,

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boo, boo sakumo Lee.

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Protect yourself and your family from the Hellfire, and that by protecting them from what lead to hellfire. What more I look at

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older your family to perform the philosophy establish the philosophy and be patient with that. You see qumulo Viola decom Allah Subhana Allah give you a co reminder and remind you in relation to your children.

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As well as you know the reality in our burrata in general and in mattina Imam, one of the other supplication of the righteous, they always pray for themselves and the last month Allah bless them with a good family that they will be cool for their eyes. When we talk about family, when we talk about our children, specifically, we often think about how are we going to raise them? How are we going to protect them? How can I provide for them? How can we educate them? And what are the things that we should give them? That's right. That's usually what we think about when we talk about any Habib, any lectures. Anytime we think about children. That's all what we think about. And that's

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natural, because we are supposed to take care of them, provide for them, protect them. As the profits are solid, put in beautifully, got a cool new combine we could look at each of you is a shepherd and each of you will be held accountable for his flock. So you're a shepherd taking care of your flock. And also then the Hadith reported the previous one was reported by Bahati Muslim and this one's a Muslim, Rosa, Alamo Ola de como Hira, who teach your children and family good manners and etiquette. So that's usually what we think about. But today, I would like to speak about this subject for a completely different perspective. From actually the opposite perspective, what we can

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learn from our children.

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You know, it's amazing to be around your children. It's amazing to be around, you're seeing children, your children growing in front of you. And believe me, there is a lot for us as adults, we can learn from our kids. We can learn

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For our children, a friend of mine was saying, or a brother was saying, his son

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holding two apples, and, you know, holding both of them about to eat them. So the father said to his son, why don't you give me one of them. Then quickly, the son took a bite from each one of them. The father was teaching as usual, we play that role, teacher. So I start teaching and lecturing his son about how about to be greedy, and you should be sharing and sharing as a good and all those things. Then the son quietly said to his father, father, Baba, I was trying to see which one is sweeter to give it to you.

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was not about being greedy. At that point, the father learned something that you know what I can learn from how my son think. Often we forget that we are self can learn a lot from our children, I looked at some of the qualities that children possess. And I think this is something we can all learn from them. And that's what I'm going to share with you these few minutes that I have today. Number one, when we think about children, I think about perseverance, the children do not give up easily. They are goal oriented. When they have a goal in their mind, they just pursue this goal, and they want it and they work hard to achieve that goal. all obstacles are ignored. In the process of

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achieving this goal. You have an ability to focus on that goal and that goal that they want, and they will keep pursuing it until they achieve it. Unfortunately, I wish that us as an adult, we have even goals in life. I'm not even talking about, you know, to perceive these procedures, goals, many of us don't have very clear goals in life in any area. You know, many of us we just live day by day, as individuals as an institute as organization as a community. We don't have very clear goals in life what we want to achieve. You asked many of the others today, what's your for example, goals when it comes to relationship with the Quran? When it comes to the relationship with the Salah? What

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do you want to be when it comes to your relationship with the deen of Allah subhana wa, to come to the dunya? What's your financial goal in life? What do you exactly you want to be, you know, with a family that you want, many times they get young men and woman wants to get married. And even in simple thing like this, and it's important thing. I asked them what you're looking for, I want to look for many someone, they don't even have a very clear goal, what they want to be, what kind of family that they have, what kind of spouse that they're looking for. Whenever Can you imagine we have a basketball game, just think about the basketball game as something very famous here. People

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play and we take the goals out of the game, or a soccer game, the football and we take this the goals out, and the whole game will be just basically passing the ball to each other. It's a very boring game, isn't it? Why? Because there is no goals in the game. That's exactly how your life is without goals without clear goals in life and just one boring life. Can you imagine? What's the goal of the message? What's the goal of the community, me as an Imam, me as the leader? What's my goal exactly to achieve? That's a very important and essential element of success in life.

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Number two, there are very positive attitudes, children towards mistakes before children go to school. And they taught in school unfortunately, that being wrong, it means being bad.

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And their natural fit by the way allocated to them being wrong. It means opportunity to learn from my mistake. If I touched on it, you know, thing me because it's so hot. I learned something. Yes, it's a mistake. It's wrong. But I learned I know now that I don't touch that I grow. So they learn from their mistakes quickly. So many of us as an adult, we have very negative attitude towards mistakes and failure in life. We just quickly give up whenever there is a pressure or challenges in life we willing to throw the towel we wanted to back off we just don't pursue don't continue our trying. You know success never was never failing. Your success is your ability to stand up every

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time you fell down. That's the real meaning of success and I wish that us as an adult will always deal with these challenges in life in a such a positive attitude as we see in children.

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Number three children have an amazing pure heart. However, every time you look at children, they are very pure heart. They are very

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they don't hold grudges, you know even if you're angry

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Little bit quickly to forgive, you know a child, you basically make it up for a child, and you say I'm sorry, and he give it award him or you give him a gift, he willing to forgive you and you move on. I wish us as an adult learned this from children, there are some people you do good to them all your life. And maybe you do one or two mistakes to them. And that's the only thing they remember. Look at spouse, spouses, sometimes the relationship, she only only only remembered the mistakes that they've done. They don't remember the good. Even Allah subhanaw taala says, whenever the marriages broke, positive, there is divorced to place he says one attends our club in a coup. Don't forget

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about the good things between both of you. So even after divorce, you always think about the good thing that happened, there is a purity of the heart, there is people willing to let go to forgive to move on in their life. But there's so many other stuff on the the Don't let things go. I don't want to tell your brothers and sisters, that when we learned the hollow LFO that are the characters a beautiful character trait to be able to forgive. And the results of them forgive those who harmed them the most those who tried to kill them in many incidents. And that is often the most willing to forgive and willing to forgive and to move on and even don't think about because sometimes we

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forgive but we never forget. It's like you know, it's like, you have a sensor every time you see that person in your face, the old files comes up and all history comes up, never deleted.

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And that's that's not how life is I want you to know, every time you learn how to forgive someone, you don't live that person. Actually, when you forgive someone, you don't set that person free. What you really do you set your heart free, you sir, you set yourself free. Because when you don't forgive you chain yourself to that person with a very negative emotion. But if you want to break that chain, just forgive, let them go. When they are foreign, yes, let them forgive, let them let go. And that's a good lesson we can learn from children, also about their purity, they are very transparent about their feeling. You know, you can tell me to give the kids is mad or angry. He

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likes your he's angry at you. A lot of people very hypocritical. Very, not only two faces, some people have four and five faces. You know, unfortunately, and that's really ridiculous. And and something not right. Kids are very sincere. And that's something adult should adopt. And it's one of the character traits of the Muslims. One of also the number for children one of their quality that they should we should learn from children have a good ability to have very good ability to adjust. You move from one house to another, they can adjust quickly. You move from one school to another, you can adjust to a new friend. It takes them a while but they're just unfortunately, so many of us

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as adults lost that ability to adjust. Some of us moved to America for years, but some stuck somewhere else, the way they think the way they do. Some of them cannot adjust that you know what my son now is an adult. My son is a college students. My son is a high schooler he's not an elementary school kids anymore. My daughter, she's a married woman now I need to adjust to the new situation. I need to deal with them in the new status that they are and there's a lot of parents can go over that can adjust themselves to that. You know what, hello, your job doesn't make it doesn't, your skills and your knowledge doesn't get you a job now, you need to go and adjust to learn new skills, new

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tracks in new ways and learn something new. So you can move on in your life. A lot of us cannot adjust cannot move on and adjust ourselves. And one of the beautiful points that Allah once mentioned when he was talking about the concept of a sub was simple. a southerner is not a passive passive thing, a form of laser Adam effect. The summer is not a passive thing to submit. It doesn't mean patience. It doesn't mean you do nothing. A foreman has ability to adjust to the new situation that you're in.

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That's a beautiful meaning we should learn as Muslims. Number five and one of my favorite points about children.

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laughter. Kids there is a study shows that children laugh about 200 times a day. While an average adult laugh about 14 times a day.

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You know, kids, they have that beautiful smile difference. They laugh and they laugh a lot. And that's one of the

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reasons, then the health they are very healthy and the resistance, their body resistance toward diseases are stronger, actually, you know, I've traveled so many places I travel 100 law. And that's one of the greatest blessings of philosophy upon me that I get to meet my brothers and sisters. Not only all over America, but all over the world. And unfortunately, I can tell you one thing common between the Muslim community that I go to beside the Shahada, besides that they are all have the serious look in their face. Nobody's smiling at you. You walk to the mustard everybody's staring at you. You want to communicate everybody, chicken you out. Nobody's smiling, nobody welcoming you.

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Even in the Muslim world in the Muslim country. We lost this beautiful smile. You know, it's Assad. That's not how our Prophet sallallahu Sallam was many companions of ma nebia salatu salam ala Thomasina carnamah

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illa Thomas Amelie Kathy heptagonal Jabba our de sola at Thurman metamodel now I do illimitable sin and salatu salam, many companions that I have seen the parts are seldom all smiling. I did 100 time gathering of the process on an every time I saw him, he was smiling. Every time we had an eye contact to smile at me. I hope that we as an other learn how to smile more often. Not to be like, you know, many of us became a coven of borderline grumpy people. You know, a Gumby community. That's not right. That's not how you should be, no matter how hard things is, no matter how things difficult, you still keep your smile. And every time you pass by one of your brothers and sisters.

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One of your brothers or sister pass my sister you find one of your in the community without a smile, give them one of yours. So many times, our joy is the reason for our smile. But believe it or not so many times also your smile can be the reasons for your joy. A lot of psychologists study today shows us and tells us that our physiology impact and affect our psychology is your smile doesn't only make people around you happy, it makes you happy.

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My brothers and sisters, where I live in Houston, Texas, we have a hospital and St. Luke's Hospital is considered the first Hospital in the country who use laughter as a medicine. Laughter as a way of curing people. It's an interesting, they have even a whole floor and this has become something so common in hospital after the start to die. And there's a story behind it if you want to go to surgery, just because of the lack of time, there is an incident took place where the two older people to a place where kids play and laugh and be found there is a huge amount of change happen to her, you know, resistance toward illness. But one of the things that I come across when I was

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looking into this, that even your body talents is amazing your body reduce or produce a natural killer cells that are responsible to attack all these bad cells that can turn to a cancer in your body. And laughter not only make the cells increase the number, make them active. It's a medicine that a lot given to you for free. It's a way to protect yourself a study was made on the every end those who live long life. And they found out one of the common things between those who live long life that they have a good sense of humor. You know, I have a guy in my community African American brother, Mashallah. He is like in his 70s very active, he's more active than a guy in his 30s. And

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he worked in the resort in Montana, it comes to Texas just for summer for to visit his daughter. So one and he's very funny person. So I told him and he looked like I said, How old are you? I said, What do you think? I said, I'll give you like 445. But I know your daughter is old. So you can't be that young. He said I'm 7374 So like I said, how's that you don't look like that? cheerleader? No, black don't crack. You know, I said that's what does. That's basically what's keeping him that young, that good looking and that sense of humor that he has.

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Number six, which is discovery. Children are amazing when it comes to discovering things around them naturally like to discover themselves and things around them. That's not to just keep the kids in a place. You see, you saw playing wrong. You know, you remember when your kids don't walk and you just can wait until the

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Start walking and after they start walking can wait until they sit down. Okay? Why? Because they start looking around discovering the world around us. At one point brothers and sisters, we as an adult lost that ability to discover ourselves to discover the world around us. We give up on that. And that's not correct. I have a family member of mine, my mother in law actually, in her late 16th, she found that the ability to memorize the Quran is so good. And she finished memorizing the Quran took ages and start teaching woman caught on and became very active. She just discovered that in her late 60s, and she always say, What if I discover that ability in my early 30s or 40s? But if

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so, don't ever give up on yourself and hustle and bustle. When someone told him I'm 70 years old, can I start to learn the knowledge he said absolutely. One of the great scholars and

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one of the great scars of the sharpener that he started his journey to learning the knowledge in his 50s he changed in his 50s and he became one of the most world recognized names in the world of Elmont knowledge among the Shafi area. And there are so many examples like this. So don't ever give up on yourself to discover something new in yourself something new that you can do, and a skills that you can develop in yourself, and to discover the world around yourself.

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Sometimes we are very bad even in discovering our own community, the talents that we have in our own community, in our families, we don't discover that we just do not curious to discover things around us. Number seven

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children tend to trust easily.

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And this is very good quality, believe it or not trusting the people who choose to trust tend to be much happier, tend to have better a lot better ethics, and basically to be liked by people more than those who don't trust others.

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We need to trust one another as a Muslim community, we need to trust each other as one of us need. Unfortunately, so many times we just don't trust each other. We just trust other people. And I don't want to give negative stories. But I know many stories when we see among ourselves, brothers and sisters will leave we they always complain, I don't see the trust, I don't see the backup of my community. I know trust should be earned, not be requested. And also even those who deserve to earn your trust. Sometimes we don't tend to be trusting community or trusting people.

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Number nine, they are full of activity. They're very active children. Mashallah livelihood liable. And very active creature. Fortunately, us as an adult, tend to be so lazy. When we became old past we don't move much kids follows in the move. That's why they are very full of life. You know, it's important a guy went to a doctor, and he was telling him the lottery, you have a diabetes and you should be careful. He said, Doctor, you know, David is runs in the family. He said, Son, I'm afraid there's nobody in the family runs. That's why he goes that's what he does. We have so many diseases, we have so many problems, not active community, you know, in a weekend, not willing to foot

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volunteer your time to stand up wake up early and being active in the community and to put work this is something needs to be developed and us and became more active of a community and family as individuals as well. May Allah Subhana Dada Newberry, Canada welcome Paloma Samia to mostofa

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salatu salam wa rahmatullah rebadow about

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knowledge

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we might not have. That's not that's one of the quality that I think children. Ha.

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I think it's the first time ever in history where you will find children no more than parents. I don't think in history ever. We had a time in history where children can no more than parents. But I think in this time, many children know many things that the parents thanks to. Google's smart for being so Microsoft people don't get mad at me. Okay, so thanks to these search engines, where people became kids have all these tools that they learn and schools and

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Things that they learned in schools that we didn't learn maybe when we grow and we're in their age. Regardless, you grow up in this country or other places in the world. Believe me, that is so much I personally can share with you my personal experience. I spend a lot of good time with my kids talking about what they study in the social studies and science. And I learn a lot from them have always this conversation in the car, picking the preschool, dropping the school, and they teach me a lot of things. And they feel so good when their parents listen to them, and discuss with them and ask them to share their project with them and what they learn what they read. There's a lot you can

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learn personally from children, and you can make them grow and loving the knowledge. My brothers and sisters appreciate these treasures and your children support them to make and grow stronger. Don't neglect your children's or neglect the streets so the neglected it and they lose it. There is nothing like having a righteous son, who are

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your child or your righteous children are a continued act of charity after you're done. Well I Photoshop infini Sonic and Mata cobbler and he is the heaviest things in your skill in the Day of Judgment if he or she of your child died before you so you wouldn't win situation. And in the end, I want to say one word to my young brothers and sisters here.

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That would always send hostile sides there's a lot you can learn from your parents.

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No matter how knowledgeable you are, no matter how smart you think yourself. Your parents are not your enemy. They are the one who will love you the most. They will support you nobody will love you like your parents. They are the middle gate of Paradise that you access to paradise. My young brothers and sisters, no matter how tall you are, you always look up to your parents. You always look up to your father, you always look up to your mother. You always trust them and make sure that you have a good communication with them. Be patient with them. May Allah Subhana Allah to bless our family and our children

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and give us the ability to be good parents and be good children alone must react in a lot must react alone.

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Alone mostly alone mostly

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loneliness okay other generally cron yahaya you and to zero matter Karina one tongue Carolina one toe homina on to Samba.

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Samba allama fellow Mohammed Rafi McFadden boom boom Jada Jelani will come along in unison Who can tell me no, not when meaning me not one don't feel

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alone. Governor mean alone the federal government will mean a low monthly level will mean along with heterogenic Latina yahaya. You and Mr. Nina volman will move

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you along

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