Waleed Basyouni – Excellence and Flaws Series 11

Waleed Basyouni
AI: Summary © The conversation between a doctor and a woman about manners and anger is discussed. The doctor advises the woman not to get angry and to wait until the right time to avoid unnecessary conflict, and to seek counseling and advices to manage one's anger. The importance of anger management is emphasized, and the speakers provide advice on how to manage one's anger and avoid negative comments. The segment also touches on the use of anger in various situations, such as when one is angry at someone or when one is angry at a place or event.
AI: Transcript ©
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smilla hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Sahih woman when Abu Bakr

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and Abu huraira the Allahu anhu unawatuna Kalia rasulillah oseni

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call Allah Tao Bob followed me Ron quadrilatero any Colorado senior Colorado Palau, senior Colorado

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generated and then said O Messenger of Allah advised me, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu Sallam said, Do not get angry. The man repeated that several times. And he replied to him every time and each time Do not get angry. So the man kept asking, you also advised me, then the person would say, Don't get angry, don't get angry jasola advisement Don't get angry, and so forth. And behind it Rahim Allah tala reported this hadith in his book, adept mannerism, and a chapter warning from

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warning from anger, warning from anger dot min Alibaba. Anger is just one letter away from danger. So warning from anger. That's what Ohio himolla was warning people from when it comes to manners. I do see a connection between this hadith and the previous ahaadeeth. If you remember the previous headings we talked about is about what hitting the face and cursing somebodies face the tribe, what caused people to hit what caused people to be physically abused, abused other physically or verbally, is because of anger mostly, also related to the issue of rulers, because the rulers anger is severe, and it never be so solemn here.

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This advice came in perfect time, because he was talking about the issue related to rulers and how rulers must be good to their people kind to their people, merciful their people. And one other thing also for them not to be angry at you because the anger of rulers can result in a massive casualties and a very abused abuse of power.

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also, people with power in generally can get angry faster, those who are in power have the don't care about the consequences of their actions, they can get angry easily, he can get angry faster than others because they don't care. So

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it's dangerous for such people to be angry because they can make very damaging decisions or actions.

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This Hadith is an outsunny jasola give me an advice, give me an advice and this he didn't say give me an advice in relation to my article for example, or relation to my understanding of Islam or religion to my Salah. It was a very general you know, question, any advice? advice it means something that will advance me something that will benefit to me and regarding to the worldly life or the hereafter religious or worldly matter so when you seek advice you seek about both and guess what in Ibiza Salim gave him an advice that basically perfect for both burfict for both he said law Bob Don't get angry.

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Abdullah what that means don't get angry.

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I like the picture.

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Don't act on your anger. What else?

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What do you understand from Don't get angry?

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Don't let anger control you. But he said Don't get angry.

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So it's not about any you guys talking about? Okay, I'm angry but I'm going to control it. He's saying Don't get angry.

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Yes. Very excellent. He said that. Yeah. And he laughed at me. nilotica Palace babyletto janicke. Top. Stay away from the things that will lead to anger. See what are the things that cause anger and don't do it?

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Stay away from it.

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Also what you guys said, also, Lola has also said, Don't get angry, it means don't get angry to the level where you can control yourself. Don't get angry to the level where this will lead you to abuse. And also, I mentioned something very interesting. He said, Don't put yourself in a position. Don't try from the beginning to avoid anger, so you don't reach to the point where you become angry. Okay?

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And in the be salatu salam kept repeating this, don't get angry, don't get angry. Every time the person asked him for advice, which it shows you since the person repeated it several times, it shows you that it is important, it is very important.

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What do we learn from this study?

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Number one, in this study shows you it is important to ask advice from someone that you think of

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as a scholar, or a person of wisdom, you know, you should seek people's advice, you should seek people counseling, okay, you should seek people counseling. And you should ask people to or seek people's counseling and advices to

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one of the thing that one of the things

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you can go talk to her

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about for her

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keep like pointing I was like what he's doing.

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I guess, I guess he trying to make you understand that I didn't get angry.

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Like, so also the head is jazzy that you should not do the things that makes you angry. Don't put yourself in situation where you know, you will get angry. So for example, if you know that you will get angry if you get in conversation early in the morning, because you're not a morning person, avoid a conversation. If you know that when you're tired, you can control yourself. So in this case, you know what, avoid any kind of arguing or confrontation with someone while you are tired, you know what, maybe insert you when you're hungry, when you are when you just comes from the house, you just

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or maybe something bad happened to you that irritated you. You know what I might give it to avoid any kind of confrontation with people or things that will cause me to lose my control over myself or get me angry.

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certain places certain people make you angry. You try to avoid those people on these places. Or this kind of news. You know, for instance, you notice yourself every time you listen to the news, you get angry.

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You know, how does you know what this news station I'm not gonna listen to it anymore?

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Recently, this is true story.

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Recently, I was part of,

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you know, a board or a group of people.

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And they made me so angry.

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You know, I found not enough Sorry, but I they made me angry the way the talk the way the you know, the handle matters. It's abort. So it truly was very irritating for me every meeting every time we said, it just makes me very irritated, by the way the tender things. So you know what I resigned.

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I hamdulillah I don't need this stress in my life anymore.

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And I resigned because I tried to apply this heading. Don't put yourself in the thing that will cause you to be angry. You know what, it's not worth it.

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And let's say you're a person gets so angry from someone on social media. Just you know what?

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Don't follow that person anymore. Don't read their Facebook posts. Don't listen to the lectures. Don't listen, read their tweets, and so forth. And avoid the thing that makes you angry.

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You know, speaking of the reasons you know what they say?

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A hungry man is an angry man.

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You know, so if this is what made you just stand behind hungry, by

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also this hadith

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tells you that you should try to control your anger. And because sometimes anger is something I can't control.

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You know, when it comes, it comes. It's just a, it's an inner, strong feeling tense feeling. You know? So when it comes, you remember this headed so what you do, you try to control the outcome of the anger. So don't let the anger control you. You try to control it.

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Don't ever follow actions and decisions. After you become angry. When you're angry, don't make any decision. When you're angry. Don't make any you know, commitment. You know, don't stop until you come down. Especially major things. Every time people come to me. I divorced my wife why I was so angry. A part of you angry Shut your mouth.

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You know what? I was so angry at him. I told him divorced me and he divorced me. Yeah, you asked for it.

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I mean, you What do you want? No, I don't mean it. I don't want him to do that. Yes, but these angry. And this whole thing is, you know, you have to be careful, you have to be very careful how you deal with all this.

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So don't make a decision made a decision after you're angry. There is a study shows 99% of crimes and problems that happen between people happen in the first 20 seconds after you become angry 99% of crimes and problems and civil dispute and stuff like that happen in the first 20 seconds after the person gets so angry.

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So if this is what it should be careful to control that first 20 seconds, or even a minute, when you become so angry. You know, right after that don't make any decision.

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me more money. Nima Han, said

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salmaan. And faricy. A man came to him and he said yeah, about Abdullah advised me. He said Don't be angry. He said you asked me not to be angry. But I don't control anger. Sometimes I don't control myself. When I became angry, it just take over me, you know,

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overcome me.

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I can't control myself. Like the anger comes. I don't know how not to be angry. Then he said if you become angry, if you can't control the feeling, control your tongue and your hands califia Mc lisanna codec and this is a beautiful advice. So if that's the case, just control your hands and control your phone.

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Abdelaziz wrote to one of his governors, he said, Don't ever punish someone while you're angry at that person.

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If somebody made you angry, because of a crime that he committed, lock him up until you come down. Then punish the person college student who has escanaba back to Morocco Erica, delete me then punish him according to this to his sin.

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I understand.

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Anger is part of our nature as a human being

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should have a locker I'm very Adam Ashkar in who can have aluminum Jehovah. Human beings have ignorance and transgression in them.

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We are very capable of that.

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That's why Sharia and Islam came to help us to control ourselves to control our desires and not and to control these tense feelings.

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Not to be controlled by them.

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also, I understand that people in the anger are levels,

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levels. Some people who are so angry like he can he can turn from one to 100 in less than a second.

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are in a second. He just turned so angry.

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Some people know it takes a while until the person get angry but some people will indeed

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angry, in became so tense and so strong, some people that anger is short period of time but strong. Some people know it is long period of time but is mild so people have very different ways.

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anger in general is that

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the mother of so many sends spamela anger

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is really true, it's one letter away from danger.

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It's a mother of so many sins and problems, you know, anger what led people to kill? What led people to invade country invade one another and war between, you know, nations, it started with a moment of anger. You know, anger is the cause so many homes to be destroyed, or broken. Anger what let relatives don't talk to one another. Anger. What, let no

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people to hit abuse, anger, it would lead people to

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bad mouth and use bad words and curse. It's anger.

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You know, anger is what made people abuse their power as well. So anger is is very dangerous. That's why Neville Salaam warned us from anger.

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And as I said, people have a different level of anger. And I'll be very honest with you. That

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anger is something that I was debating if I should talk about it or not tonight,

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because I myself have a lot of struggle sometimes with anger.

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And I can say that and admitted it's something of the area that I have a very even some people might not expect me to get angry or anger or angry person. But it's something that is a big, big struggle for me.

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And I don't angry over many things or there's certain things that can irritate me very quickly.

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And especially under under stress. And I don't want to be hypocritical like talking about something that I myself has a lot of struggle with.

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But one thing I try my best and to certain extent I'm good at it that I don't abuse and I don't think ever I'm the law when I'm angry and it's abuse I mean since I never had I don't have I don't no make like bad decisions or long term I don't I can control that. But still I would like to see myself more calm and have no anger that's that's a big struggle. I'm saying this because not as easy as a lot of people do. People have very different personalities there is people might show a lie and the

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cold like ice

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you know and they can talk and they come that's that's a blessing. If you have it don't lose it.

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If you haven't done ever let it go

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that's it a blessing to be able to come not to to be to have a strong reactions.

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I do believe in what the prophets of Salaam said mountains Allah homing de la vida Hoda there is no disease unless there is a cure for it. And one of the diseases is this

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is the anger is a disease it needs help.

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And it's just said it's a very different level

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of anger make you blind, cancer see.

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When I was in college, we used to have a person who used to

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study in our university but he doesn't attend the regular classes he comes in the end of the year just to take the exam we call them your any billing tesab or like they are not they don't attend regularly.

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He died Rahim Allah to Allah.

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He was killed by his cousin.

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What's the story just will lay but I'll leave. It's a great lesson to see how anger can blind the person. His cousin had a civil case and the court Child Support stuff like that. And the judge needed something called Kafeel Yan is someone to

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write like bond this person and sponsor that person said to the judge, I'll bring him in because a couple of times he didn't show up for the court appointment. So he come and he said, I guarantee that

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This person will come. You know, I'm responsible to bring him on the next session. Just don't lock him up. Let him go free and when the court time I'll bring

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but guess what, he didn't really appreciate his cousin, which is our friend who studied with us in university, college Sharia.

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Several of them didn't show up. And obviously the judge say if you don't bring him you go to jail, you will be in trouble.

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So he got sick of it. So he talked to his cousin, get him in the car. Okay, and drive with them. Then all of a sudden he goes into the police station and he walks the police station has a gate. He goes inside the police station stop in front of the police station. Then he said cousin What are you doing? He said I want you to come with me inside and we cancel the there is a paid format form that you sign in the police station Carlos I'm not responsible. He is here.

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Because you you put me in trouble too so many times.

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His cousin is very angry person abused his wife and stuff like that anyway, then he said

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You betrayed me and he became so angry Guess what?

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I just want you to imagine how anger blind the person

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now imagine the car in front of that inside the police station right at the gate of the off and all the officers and the guards and like hundreds of them all over the place. Okay.

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And he gets so angry he pulled the gun and he shot his cousin six seven times and he killed him instantly.

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And the whole case is what is a civil case not even a case that you go to jail for it.

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It's all over like payments.

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He killed him

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and his cousin was executed.

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I don't remember now if I attended his execution or not, but I remember the day when they said you know this is his execution today.

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Anger crazy shavon that's his best moment.

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blind you completely don't see

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solara and

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one other thing that Allah subhanaw taala anger from the ship on so that's one of the advice is to say what are the blame and a ship on origin immens of under communist ship horniness for started the villa as refugee with Allah subhana wa tada seek refuge in Allah from the ship on say out of language. And NW sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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said that I know a word of this person would say his anger will go away to say other strategy.

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But also Nabi sallallahu Sallam said change your position. If you're standing sit down, if you sit down, lay down

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you know if you're laying down stand and just change your position.

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Okay, just walk go and walk.

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Also one of the thing that helps don't argue

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Okay, and until you come down is worse thing to do is to argue while you are angry if you are angry, don't talk about it right now. And please if you are the other person let's say you are the son you're the father, the husband, the wife, whatever you are, please help because at that time I don't see that I don't remember that. I can think of that. So I need the person doesn't Okay, no problem. Let's talk about it when you come down. No, no, no, I want to talk about right now. No problem we talked about right now just you know what, whatever inshallah we'll be good. No problem.

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Just defuse it. Once you're calm, express your anger.

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To express your anger. What causes your anger while you're angry?

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When you come down, tell them what was bothering you.

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Pilot nimisha Selim either Habibi

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is good. In Nevis Hassan said when you're angry remain silent. Don't talk because you're going to regret it.

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You're more vocal edgerly ma'am Tara to hop on hot water column to Viva la mina andum la la Amanda man either have it every time I open my mouth when I'm angry. I regret what I said.

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Another tip and Debbie's Salam said

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Mr. Larsen, I would advise us to make although he has said about the allowance, he sets our salon performable it will calm you down. He said I'll have a is like a charcoal like a fire inside your heart and the water will take it away. smeagol

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number five. Sometimes when you're angry and you you know the eye

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There's a lot of myself I am angry and sometimes system itself my brain telling me you have every right to be angry.

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You This is not right.

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And you have every right to be angry and I said to myself, I try and it says yes I have every right to be angry, but I'm gonna let it go. Because of what Allah subhanaw taala reward those who will let their anger go away will control their anger

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Well, can we mean La

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ilaha shittin Leah healing

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with the thing that make you so angry it'll tell you the thing that you feel it is absolutely not correct. Things to irritate you a lot hotter well, curvy mean alive. Yeah and needy suppress their anger. Yeah Karima.

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What I've seen honey NASS,

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those who forgive

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one law who you mean and Allah loves Alma sin in those who are good, some

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will loan you have been missing in men, human mercy known human Latina, NFS, Samba, Kelvin, La La Venus, how much you know

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what in that manner, or low heaven was as if add any administrator. So the verse, those who spend their wealth in the time of hardship, the time of ease, those who control their anger, those who forgive people, and Allah loves almasi mean, the one who do things perfectly those sincere, those are kind to others, you know, those who are perfect their worship, that's all the meaning of mercy. Some Ranima said that what the verse interpret others said, No, Allah Subhana, Allah mentioned here several quality one.

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No, the other opinion is so Muslim became another quality. The other opinion suggesting No, no, Alma icynene, who are almost done, or the one I just described for you, which is

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the one who's spending the hardship and is the one who control the anger and the one who forgives people. Those are all my sin. So two way to understand the verse and I don't think there is any contradiction because part of perfecting your email and about us to have these qualities like Carlin Wu sallallahu Sallam tell us the two men couldn't fit our hula hoops he

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was settled Allah Hebrew.

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Allah who FEMA better three things if you have them, Allah Subhana Allah will cover you and He will not expose you and He will cover you with His mercy and you will be in his protection and you will be loved by him. This is a solo What are these three kind of men either a shocker The one who when he's been giving is grateful what either God or half are and when he is capable of punishment of punishment, he forgives what either robot fat

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and the person will need becomes oceanica angry the calm themselves down

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three great qualities

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are enemies of Allah La culture and hurry Don't be angry and in general is your work in Ibiza Sallam said the one who control his anger will be called in front of all people on the Day of Judgment.

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You know that I also had

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a low calm and honor him in front of all the people in certain epidote ns above the line.

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Why? Because it's not easy.

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You know, I do believe that those who say oh controlled so easy is not easy. It's a hard thing to do.

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And it means practice.

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Or a Nabi sallallahu. wasallam.

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Yes, sir. Listen to this Hadith, where Abdullah Abdullah said Yasser Allah, nyan neroni Maha babila

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what is the thing that will protect me from Allah anger card Allah tala Don't be angry or so.

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Abu Massoud

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one of the companions. He got so angry and he was beating

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a slave of his

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And I had the whip up, I'm gonna hit him.

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Then all of a sudden I saw somebody came from behind me and stopped me and

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said something. I was so angry. I didn't recognize the voice first.

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Then this person approached me closer. And I looked for either who also lysosome is Mohammed saucer and I saw him. I dropped the word

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a drop the stick

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and in the Visa Center and told him, Mr. Massoud, you should know.

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And Allah okdo Anika minca Heather Willem,

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you should know that Allah has more power. And he is Yeah, and he can do to you, way more than what you are doing to this slave of yours.

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He said jasola ma Abdul Rahman lucam badda badda jasola will never hit any servant of minds in the game.

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Para poder de Maya Kunal abdomen haba Bella

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was the interval Nima mela announcer Allahu La La La Jolla Santa. Yes, Allah.

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Buddha Hakeem Sahaba is a mono Hakeem Sham, one of the wisest companions, the wisest man of a sham.

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For the line over, he said, You will be so close to Allah anger

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or angry at you when you are angry. Because you're about to commit something. When you're showing your anger you might commit and say something that it can ruin your deen even

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then he said something very powerful. He said, Be careful

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to abuse someone has no one to support him except Allah.

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Don't abuse someone who this person have no supporter except Allah. And he doesn't have power he doesn't have no status, the only one that this person can turn to seeking help from his Allah

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I see that sometimes I see some sisters abused at home.

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They have no family members, they have no fear and nobody can stand for them.

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I see that sometimes.

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With kids

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I see that time with people have no money to hire lawyers or to get in other cases they have no high profile

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an employee

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see this thumbs you know, with some individual who just because they're not famous didn't have celebrity status. So people step on them.

00:32:53 --> 00:32:57

Don't ever abuse someone that this big very careful

00:32:59 --> 00:33:00

because that person has a loss polygon.

00:33:02 --> 00:33:18

One of the benefits of leaving anger or something to think about it also caught in Nabhi saw some men cover Maduro at the height of the mela Alo jofa who imana if you avoid anger control, Allah fill your heart with a man

00:33:19 --> 00:33:22

on an abuse Salalah sort of also men men.

00:33:24 --> 00:33:26

Men enjoy it an album agilon

00:33:29 --> 00:33:38

in the alarming jurati hiding Kevin abductive our de la one of the most rewarding thing is to control your anger, your anger

00:33:44 --> 00:33:52

by another so we said make will change your position besides don't talk don't get engaged in argument.

00:33:54 --> 00:33:56

Say other lash tanaji

00:33:57 --> 00:34:16

we said also that think about what the virtue of controlling anger six McVicker Allah subhanaw taala said and lady in Amman water in Nepal Lubumbashi decree, law, serenity and come calmness come to the heart that it is filled with Vicar of God

00:34:17 --> 00:34:27

was called Rebecca either in a seat sort of calf. A lawsuit with Rebecca either in the seat and this young fellow at Airbnb Mandela hubub

00:34:28 --> 00:34:33

very delic for sobre la sala Carla with CO Rebecca either.

00:34:34 --> 00:34:47

You mentioned Allah subhanaw taala he then a seat the seat means forget, but many actually interpreted this because in the sea and one of the meanings of the seat in Arabic language could means you get angry.

00:34:53 --> 00:34:59

There are you know, there's no benefits really from angle except for leaving

00:35:00 --> 00:35:10

Frustration will not solve the problem. And that's that's what's killing the person sometimes that's what kills me like I know that my anger will not solve the problem. It's just just anger

00:35:13 --> 00:35:15

is not an you get angry, let's say.

00:35:17 --> 00:35:25

Let's say you get angry and you slobber hitters, you someone because of that Do you think that's gonna fix it

00:35:27 --> 00:35:31

You think you're screaming and you're cursing we'll fix it

00:35:33 --> 00:35:43

I don't know that you know that but it just it's just a matter of that's what hurts the most so the more money the more you talk about it and you ask a lot more than a help hopefully you can get over

00:35:44 --> 00:35:50

there are two types of pains the one that hurts you and others

00:35:52 --> 00:35:57

that change you so there's two type of pains the one that hurts you

00:35:58 --> 00:36:01

and other that change you

00:36:03 --> 00:36:08

That's right there is to pain a pain that hurts you that's a and there is a pain that change you

00:36:10 --> 00:36:14

the pain of being overweight How do you to lose weight

00:36:16 --> 00:36:35

you feel the pain you go through this so you know what I'm going to commit the pain of being lazy blah blah the pain of losing job is going to make me pain Oh failing in school is that pain into the pain of losing privilege is gonna make me work to earn my privilege back work hard

00:36:38 --> 00:36:42

the pain can change but there is pain will not change it just hurts you

00:36:43 --> 00:36:44

anger only hurts

00:36:47 --> 00:36:56

one thing also you should think about the outcome of anger those who get angry a lot of angry over time diabetes high blood pressure

00:36:58 --> 00:36:58


00:37:00 --> 00:37:21

you are a doctor you know more than me the stress kills you That's right. And anger just kills you What do you call even like your calling like your your nervous system like it just you know it's unbelievable add to this that's health wise after this financial bad financial decisions

00:37:22 --> 00:37:27

you know social issues a lot of disasters your social life

00:37:31 --> 00:37:45

so you know what for every The worst thing one of the worst thing about anger as well as losing you lose a lot you lose your friends you lose your sometimes people forever because you cannot fix the solution ship again.

00:37:47 --> 00:38:04

You know I gave it to him. Okay, well then we got fired the pennant What did you get? Nothing really, you know, good divorce. It just if you think about it wisely, isn't it there's no good outcome of that anger. It's strong top of anger.

00:38:07 --> 00:38:15

Also, you waste your you know it ruin your good time. For every minute you remain angry, you give up 60 seconds of peace of mind.

00:38:18 --> 00:38:24

Simple as that. Also known as hubbub about

00:38:27 --> 00:38:28


00:38:34 --> 00:38:35


00:38:37 --> 00:38:46

So think before you speak, when you're angry, speak when you're angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret in your life.

00:38:48 --> 00:38:49

I can guarantee you

00:38:50 --> 00:38:56

you know, I can guarantee you another one. Angry is the worst bodyguard

00:38:58 --> 00:39:00

is the worst will never protect you

00:39:01 --> 00:39:02

actually will harm you.

00:39:05 --> 00:39:08

There is a father and a mother killed of children.

00:39:12 --> 00:39:14

I know if a case. Sorry. We had

00:39:16 --> 00:39:21

a father who went to this to the court. He gets so angry to son so angry

00:39:22 --> 00:39:24

that he tied his son's hand

00:39:26 --> 00:39:27

and he threw him and

00:39:29 --> 00:39:33

like in his role or lock him up. And they forgot about him.

00:39:35 --> 00:39:44

Guess what the kids had turned blue they had to cut off the hands. Because his hand he ruined the couch new couch. They get some stupid things like that.

00:39:46 --> 00:39:48

And they had to cut off the both ends of the kid.

00:39:51 --> 00:39:55

mode this father will do for the rest of his life. That's a true story. By the way.

00:39:57 --> 00:39:59

Can you imagine if this father has son telling him

00:40:00 --> 00:40:03

I will never touch this couch against giving my hands back.

00:40:06 --> 00:40:08

That moment of anger on his side and he wasn't thinking

00:40:11 --> 00:40:13

moment of anger he punched him and he killed him.

00:40:15 --> 00:40:16

No anger he pulled the gun and he

00:40:19 --> 00:40:20

shot somebody someone.

00:40:25 --> 00:40:26

Anger is not strength, it's weakness.

00:40:28 --> 00:40:32

And there is also a shaded the strong one, the one who control his anger.

00:40:35 --> 00:40:38

Only the one who are lower should

00:40:42 --> 00:40:53

that's why I used to say, wisdom is not in the term of calmness, the poodle of lamb and will report Lisa she had a river belfie handle.

00:40:55 --> 00:41:01

It's in the time of when someone makes you angry, that when you come down you can tell that's what was the

00:41:02 --> 00:41:24

one man came to interface and he told him, told him there's a shawl and I've looked at him said either politically Mahabharata can be elf, if you say one word, I will say 1000 and return that. One is that and if you say 1000 you will not hear a word from me. Colorado Paul maisonnette. Aminu either

00:41:25 --> 00:41:27

I control it Don't worry.

00:41:33 --> 00:41:36

Getting angry. One of the tips number 10

00:41:37 --> 00:41:38

maybe it's good to take timeout

00:41:41 --> 00:41:42

timeouts aren't just for kids.

00:41:44 --> 00:41:45

Give you a social break

00:41:46 --> 00:42:00

during the day, that tend to be stressful few moments of quiet time pray to aka walk to the mustard. Go exercise you know just stay away from tick tick them up.

00:42:02 --> 00:42:10

One of the things also there's a nice way is to have things that remind you when you're angry. Maybe a key words

00:42:12 --> 00:42:14

to the clerk when you get angry.

00:42:17 --> 00:42:23

There is a motto said man he said cannot German man cannot publican, a man from the nation before you.

00:42:24 --> 00:42:50

He gets angry and he gets angry very quick. His anger is severe. So he wrote three notes. And he gives give each note to one of his friends. He said to the first one. If you see me angry, give me this note. Said the second. If you see me get the note and I did not come down. Give me the second one. And he said to the third one. If you see the students work, I'm still angry. Give me the third one.

00:42:53 --> 00:42:53


00:42:55 --> 00:42:55


00:42:56 --> 00:43:04

No, I mixed up between two stories, the story of Martin Seligman he said that the man is it if you see me angry, give me this note.

00:43:05 --> 00:43:09

And when you see me come down the second man give me this note

00:43:11 --> 00:43:16

on I'm coming down coming down Just give me the note. And when you see me come back to normal Give me the third note.

00:43:19 --> 00:43:34

So he was asked what are these three notes? He said the first one says excerpt from Antara huddle hubbub in Nicolas de la innama and tubeshark you should and yet coda bah bah bah bah

00:43:35 --> 00:43:41

come down you're not God. This anger is only eating you from inside

00:43:44 --> 00:43:54

and the second one when I'm coming down and threaten Abraham and fill out of the hamper Memphis I'ma be merciful all the people on earth alone will be merciful with you

00:43:55 --> 00:44:07

and the third one is about the law hierarchy tabouleh for in the Himalayas loom Illa daddy guide people to the book of Allah and nothing will guide people except this

00:44:09 --> 00:44:09

you know

00:44:11 --> 00:44:30

don't let people are angry you have a way to remind yourself Jani for example somebody get angry quickly so what did this person did? He wrote a lot a note he said to himself who anger you conquer you

00:44:33 --> 00:44:39

so anytime you go to like deal with people online so that he remember he I'm not gonna let him conquer me

00:44:40 --> 00:44:46

another person said lotta Bala culture like Don't be angry and agenda is your reward the Hadith.

00:44:47 --> 00:44:59

He kept it in his wallet. He just look at it. Another person has a he said another person has a favorite perfume. Somebody said that. And they know if that person has his favorite

00:45:00 --> 00:45:05

perfume loves perfume. So every time you get angry, they mentioned the name of the perfume that he likes.

00:45:07 --> 00:45:12

And it became between him and his wife, his wife will say, Hey, you know, Tom Ford

00:45:13 --> 00:45:19

you know, touchy qurbana you know, whatever it is vapor,

00:45:21 --> 00:45:22

perfume and it calms him down.

00:45:24 --> 00:45:49

Get some exercise, physical activity can help reduce stress. And that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger, escalating, go for, you know, a bike, a brisk bike or run. Spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities. Maybe you go fishing, maybe you go skydiving, whatever, take your anger away. They

00:45:50 --> 00:45:51


00:45:52 --> 00:46:00

to her he will give you some martial art in, go do some martial art go have a sandbag go just you know, boxing, whatever.

00:46:02 --> 00:46:04

And another thing which is

00:46:05 --> 00:46:08

as colossal panatela a lot for it.

00:46:09 --> 00:46:16

I thought mysap said that his father said I modeled Nasser Lydda Sala one time

00:46:17 --> 00:46:19

but his Salah was very short.

00:46:20 --> 00:46:26

Then people said huffpo just why you saw social like that? Yeah.

00:46:28 --> 00:46:44

Then he said, it doesn't matter if it's short or not. Because in my Salah, I made the door app that I heard I said that I heard from the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. And because of this, I don't care.

00:46:45 --> 00:46:52

After seeing this drop, I don't care about anything else. I said this that's enough for me. The Salah is for me perfect just because of this drop.

00:46:54 --> 00:47:06

So handle I said this. I don't I don't need to make my salad long after seeing this drop. And he left. So a man followed him when he left the mustard. He said to him

00:47:09 --> 00:47:24

Can you tell me what is this? Like? He didn't tell us he just said I made this down my salon for me. That's enough. I don't care if I missed long camera or mini test. It's enough for me. Can you tell me what to do? Then he said alone? Maybe I'll make a lie.

00:47:25 --> 00:47:58

karateka Hello, hello. Uh, Heaney malinger hair Tara Lee. Yeah, Alice, I asked you by your knowledge, the knowledge of the unseen your ability to create everything that you make me to give me life as long as life is good for me and to take my soul if death is better for me. Yeah, Luca has sciatica. Live your Shahada to fear you in public and in secret was Erica kennametal Hackney Phil hobby or river that I will say what is true

00:47:59 --> 00:48:39

in the moment of anger and a moment of in a calmness and a local cost of a familiar levina to be balanced when I'm rich or poor. Looking at Eamon Lanford, I asked you and reward and enjoyment that will never come to an end. We're all worth it in Latin kata and something the color of my eyes that it will never ever finish or vanish. I asked you a river by the cover. I asked you about the thing that grant him what something the cool of his eyes and something and enjoyment that will never end is genuine. Okay. And then he said

00:48:40 --> 00:49:10

that I will be always be happy with whatever he decreed upon me. What about Elijah Vidal note that the best life for me will be after death? Was I look and I asked you let that another illogic or shoka ileocolic. The joy of looking at your face and that you know the the show Yeah, I need the urine. That's the word.

00:49:11 --> 00:49:12


00:49:14 --> 00:49:16

yearning to meet you. mean

00:49:18 --> 00:49:47

nothing Mandala. Without any fitna without any, any without beaming, beaming, be me crossing the line or doing things that it can harm me zeynab is enough. zenity man beautified us with faith with john now who that Dean, make us guided and make us be also guide people. That's the job that he said What a beautiful God. That's why he said I don't care after that.

00:49:48 --> 00:49:59

You can live your life angry, better, better made at somebody or even guilty mad at somebody or even guilty.

00:50:00 --> 00:50:17

Not letting go for your own mistakes, but you wouldn't receive the good thing that the last minute Allah has in his store for you, what our last month and a half for you. Like give it to this one when people come down, when people control their anger all the time to reward them tremendously.

00:50:19 --> 00:50:21

I remember reading a story, I'll end with this story.

00:50:26 --> 00:50:30

A wise man was walking with his students by the river.

00:50:31 --> 00:50:32

And he saw a

00:50:33 --> 00:50:39

group of people fighting and angry and their voices are loud. Okay.

00:50:40 --> 00:50:45

So he asked his students, you know why people when they are angry, this shout,

00:50:47 --> 00:50:48

the raise their voice?

00:50:51 --> 00:51:02

They said maybe this maybe that? No, no, no, no. They came up with several things is no, no. They don't control. They don't feel about it. They think that they're not hurt. Now.

00:51:03 --> 00:51:15

Then he want to make a point. He said, because when you become angry at someone, you raise your voice. Because of the distance between you and that person.

00:51:16 --> 00:51:33

The moment you angry person you feel like very apart from each other far away from each other, and you raise your voice. Then he said, didn't you see lovers, the whisper at each other's ears. And they talk softly to each other because their hearts have so close to one another.

00:51:35 --> 00:51:42

In other words, he was trying to tell them that anger it just basically made us apart from each other distances from one another.

00:51:44 --> 00:51:46

I asked the last panel data to

00:51:49 --> 00:51:52

help us to control our anger because it's such a hard

00:51:53 --> 00:51:56

machine sometimes and make us always be

00:51:58 --> 00:52:09

do the what is right in the moment of anger in the moment of comes to say what's correct. And to forgive whatever we say or we do

00:52:11 --> 00:52:11


00:52:13 --> 00:52:19

which is wrong. Lama Saldana, Muhammad Ali Mohamed kemosabe. Okay, now we'll see

00:52:20 --> 00:52:23

if anybody has a comment or

00:52:24 --> 00:52:27

questions, otherwise we'll call it for tonight.

00:52:36 --> 00:52:43

Very important reminder. This is also something that difficult for me as well. And

00:52:45 --> 00:53:00

in I have used some of these techniques. Nowadays. I worked a fair amount of night shift. After Night Shift I don't talk to anybody. I go straight done. When I finish my night shift I go and sleep. And then I found a lot of times I got myself in trouble was after nightshift.

00:53:03 --> 00:53:06

Good advice. Good. Good. Good tip.

00:53:07 --> 00:53:13

Other things my kids now that I don't argue with them anymore, I just take away their, their favorite device

00:53:14 --> 00:53:19

and come back and look for their device or phone.

00:53:27 --> 00:53:44

You know what I do? Or my wife? Do she just cut the internet. No Wi Fi. You know, we haven't done the phone. We just cut the Wi Fi. Especially when you want to call people for dinner and they don't come down just turn off the Wi Fi. And all of a sudden all of them come into your room.

00:53:46 --> 00:53:51

Anyway, but yeah, that's that's, you know, it just it just hard.

00:53:53 --> 00:54:03

It's hard, you know, it's not an easy but I think that as long as we had met as long as we try hard, we'll overcome that.

00:54:05 --> 00:54:06


00:54:13 --> 00:54:18

Learn, you learn. Yep, absolutely.

00:54:21 --> 00:54:22


00:54:24 --> 00:54:25


00:54:29 --> 00:54:37

you know, some people can be in your live blessings, and some people can be lessons.

00:54:45 --> 00:54:49

I think one of the good points he said just don't talk when you're angry. That's pretty good.

00:54:52 --> 00:55:00

There is one thing about anger. Also there is a good anger which is here the word hava in Arabic angry maybe a lot of negative

00:55:00 --> 00:55:04

connotation towards an English but still have a blue lamb or blue or whatever.

00:55:05 --> 00:55:51

But still horrible marks would be hoonah and other melody lace if you had the anger, it means that your heart hates to see something wrong in justice, that anger in your heart. And when you see how I'm done wrong things done to people, that anger inside you, it has to be channel, it's in reversals, to be control. So in the right way, also to be channeled in the right direction, which is something that it will anger, the pain that will make you change and help you. That's why sometimes I see. Anger is not for itself, the anger that was praised in Islam, which is the anger for the sake of Allah Shafi minister will do what I'm able to follow him out. The person who see things that make

00:55:51 --> 00:56:11

you anger and you're not angry is a direct animal. I don't like him, he meant to share him Allah, me somebody will see injustice and how long happened and he is okay, you get boiled when I see these videos of people abused in the street by an officer. Somebody in his house one walk in said as I'm unsure if

00:56:12 --> 00:57:03

somebody like, you know, innocent person, or nations like what you see in our brothers and pastimes, or something, or you see and in Russia, or sorry, in China, or in Iran, or many areas, really angry when you see decision in Yemen. angry when you see this all angry, you see the harem and the shuriken the coup for done. So this all things make your end. But that anger is that feeling inside that you hate that this is wrong. This is not correct. But that anger should turn to be anger when somebody and sold the process on it. But that anger should not be not out of control that made me an abuse or do things which is not allowed, or in became the end. Like sometimes I feel just shouting

00:57:03 --> 00:57:23

and screaming and so much anger but that's about it. It never channel, you should use this force that's forced to channel it to something that will produce something good. And I think that that's important also to be mentioned as we talk about the concept of anger. And I think sometimes

00:57:24 --> 00:57:33

it is fair, and it is correct, to allow yourself to be angry, but don't allow yourself to let this anger

00:57:34 --> 00:57:40

translate to actions that it can action that is wrong or harmful.

00:57:43 --> 00:57:46

When you come down, you make the actions you take the decisions.

00:57:53 --> 00:57:57

Thank you very much shala hopefully to see you next week. So I want to call him Uncle level.

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