Umm Jamaal ud-Din – How Are You Coping

			Salam Alaikum, warahmatullahi wabarakatuh My dear sisters and brothers, I pray, you're all safe and
well, you and your loved ones in sha Allah and I asked a lot of data that he makes this time easy
for everyone in sha Allah.
		

			So panel, this has not been an easy time, for most of us, you know, within weeks, most of us have
had our whole lives, suddenly, you know, change completely around. And on top of that, you know, as
part of our day after day, being exposed to the scenes of the suffering of others mail or leave
everyone from amongst this oma and all of the innocent from amongst this world.
		

			And especially if you're a person who has a lot of empathy, then all that is going to have quite an
a big emotional toll on you over time.
		

			So what I wanted to do today is basically, you know, share a few things that I've personally been
doing, that's helped me Not that I'm any expert in, you know, coping with their pandemic, but and
handling law, you know, I've gone through a few tests in my life that have actually taught me some
skills that I've been able to use
		

			to cope with this particular test that we're going through. So I just want to share this, maybe it
can help someone out there inshallah.
		

			So first of all, one of the things I, I tried to do from the beginning was to try to try to
reestablish my normal routine,
		

			we all know, our routines got completely knocked out of place. So as much as possible, I tried to,
you know, continue my same old routine, but obviously, having to do a lot of adjustments.
		

			You know, I normally teach outside, so I had to try to shift all my classes, you know, online,
		

			I used to work out of the gym, so I had to, you know, shift my exercise to a different type of
program.
		

			And then the other thing, too, was going into what I call survival mode. You know, that's something
I learned many years ago, when, you know, I was living in Saudi and I was basically pretty much
isolated over there, I couldn't get out very often, hardly got to see people many days. And then on
top of that, I ended up having twins. So apparently, you can imagine what happens when you go in
that sort of, you're in that sort of situation, I basically went into survival mode.
		

			And so when you go into survival mode, you know, what is what is it you know, you basically, cut out
anything extra that is going to place an unnecessary burden on you. And just, you know, really focus
on what you really need to do right now to cope.
		

			And you got to think to yourself, this is a pandemic that we're going through, and
		

			you're not, you shouldn't be expected to do the impossible. Now, don't put such you know, heavy
burdens on yourself. That's what tends to, you know, really elevate, elevate our stress levels, when
we keep on saying that I should do this. And I should do that.
		

			You know, I see this happening a lot with some of my students, you know, like they really
overburdening themselves with the children's homework. And unfortunately, some of the schools are
placing, really, you know, unreasonable demands on the amount of homework they're expecting, at the
end of the day, just keep in mind that, you know, what kids really need the most from all of that is
just if they read some books improve their English. And on top of that,
		

			you know, their maths, they the most important, core subjects that they they really need they can't
do without. And the other thing is, it's really important that you do manage your, you know, stress
and anxiety levels. Like if you're a person who previously used to struggle with anxiety or even
depression, you got to understand that what we're going through is going to really, basically
exasperate that and we can see that from a numbers of people, you know, contacting helplines?
		

			You know, so one of your main focuses really needs to be, you know, to try to keep managing that
every single day, it needs to be a goal of yours to keep managing your stress levels. And one of the
best ways to do that is you know, keep doing that exercise. Like if you're able to get out and go
for a walk, go for that walk, it'll make a huge difference.
		

			You know, besides that, you've got to get yourself busy in doing things. Whether that means you
know, getting busy with practicing your pre Ramadan routine, you know, get yourself busy in doing
something because it really takes your mind off everything that's going on.
		

			And you know, really look after yourself during this time. You know, I think it's important to
pamper yourself, you know, go get your hair done, you know, make yourself feel nice, buy something
nice for yourself like to feel comfortable.
		

			It can really help ease that that feeling of stressing yourself and in general, just avoid you know,
overexposure to any type of news that stresses you.
		

			Besides that, it's really important to keep up with
		

			social life, like just because we're basically you know, indoors all the time doesn't mean we
shouldn't keep up our social life. Like, I actually had, you know, what I called a Coronavirus,
coffee catch up with a group of my friends recently, you know, on zoom
		

			in, I spoke to some sisters I haven't spoken to for for many years, you know, besides that I have
handled, I've been able to get out with a friend, we're allowed to go out with one person. So I go
out and walk with a friend. And that's a chance for me to catch up with her in distress as well.
		

			The other thing I've been trying to do is, you know, just keep on focusing on what you can do and
what, rather than what you can't do, a lot of people are saying to themselves, you know, I can't do
this, we can't do that, and it really gets you down. But if you actually turn it around the other
way, and keep on seeing yourself, and hamdulillah at least we can still do this, you know, at least
we can still do that, you know, I find that when I do that, you know, that everything I do just
feels like a treat, you know, so I enjoy it even more. And I feel really grateful to loss of
pantalla the fact that I'm able to do this, I mean, when I think about you know, prisoners, you
		

			know, we've got scholars, mela released them, you know, who are in prisons right now, you know, a
panel of people in detention centers, they're not able to do half the things that we are able to do,
you know, hamdulillah And may Allah relieve all the suffering of the people Velma.
		

			Besides that, you know, positive affirmations can really help you, you know, what I mean by that is,
try talking to yourself aloud. You know, try talking to self allowed in in a in a comforting and
positive way.
		

			This can really help to relieve your own stress, because you know, you have all those negative
thoughts that build up in your mind. So counteract it with the positive talk to yourself and
comforting words. And I think it's the lesson that we can actually draw from the story of Musa
alayhis salaam, you know, in the Quran, you think about that moment when, you know, is being pursued
by fear around in his army, and moose, Allison and finds himself stuck with his people between the
army of Freetown and the sea. That's all that's, you know, in front of them is the see. And then, to
top it all off, what do these people do they start to have doubts in their success. And they say in
		

			Moodle, rakuen, you know, we're going to be overcome. But what is musala? iclm? Say?
		

			All akella in my ob say, yes, Dean. So musala Islam says, No, rather My Lord is with me and Verily,
He will guide me. So I think one of the lessons we can derive from this is that, you know, when
those negative thoughts, you know, start to build up in your mind,
		

			speak aloud to yourself and tell yourself, no, rather than my Lord is with me, and He will guide me,
you know, try to use positive words and you know, positive affirmations to help yourself pick
yourself up and you know, rid yourself of those negative thoughts inshallah. And then just lastly,
this is the last thing just try to be extra nice try to focus on being extra nice extra kind,
because honestly, the world right now is really in need for Mike more kindness. You know, try to be
more gentle and kind with everyone that you deal with. Whether it's with your children, your you
know, your husband, or if there's brothers listening, you know, for your wife,
		

			you got to understand we're all feeling a lot more vulnerable right now. And everyone's need for
that extra kindness. And it can make such a big difference to everybody you know, even if you get
outside just smile at people like we're all feeling that vulnerability and analog being kind and you
know, being gentle with people it can make such a huge difference and you know, you want all those
Rama to come on you think about what the prophets or lawyers have said, you know, Abraham manfield
out yarmulke Mansi center, have mercy and be gentle with those on earth and and the one above the
heavens will be merciful with you. And Pinilla. One of the rewards of that is you'll see how much
		

			happier Allah will make you. You know, you'll feel the happiness that comes into your home and into
yourself inshallah. So, I'll leave it there and inshallah hopefully I'll be able to come on and give
some more advice in a future time. Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh