Tim Humble – The Muslim Family #41 – Teaching Our Children Responsibility

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			to carry Lu wha colocar La la la de la Lu. Well Mustafa al de
		

			leeuw Alhamdulillah Hello Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Nabina Muhammad wa ala
alihi wa sahbihi ajmeri
		

			All praises due to Allah alone We ask Allah azza wa jal to exalt dimension and grab peace to our
messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to his family and his companions. Were talking about
the rights of the children, the obligations of the parents towards them. And we spoke about the
importance of playing with your children, and the importance of asking them about the games that
they play and being involved in the games that they play. We now come to another Heidi's continuing
our discussion with regard to the rights of the children and the obligations of the parents. And
this idea is the Hadees or any sort of the alarm and no child cannot have sort of lice all along and
		

			he will send them acid and nursey Holocaust the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was
the best of people in minus what can any uh, when you call Allah who Abu or male. He said I had a
brother whose name was Abu Romeo. His name was Abu or male.
		

			I said, Well, we'll call can have ottima I believe that he said that he was had just been weaned
		

			Paul for Canada he There are also ly Salalah Wiley, who will send them a follow up call here about
Romania McFarland new Hale. Call for Kenny I will be wrong.
		

			He said that when the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would come? And he would see
the little boy, he would say to him, yeah, oboro male. What happened to the new whale? What's
happened to the new veil? The new hair is a little bird like something like a sparrow like a very
small, very small bird. And he used to the little boy used to play with it used to have it like a
pet, and used to play with it used to see him playing with the little bird. So when the prophet SAW
Selim would see him he would say to him, yeah, about Romeo a foul. And
		

			he would use like a rhyming word, to speak to him in a very sweet way and give him attention, even
though he was a very, very young boy. And he used to be known for playing with that, that small
bird, and the Prophet size and asked him or other male, what happened to the new player, what
happened to their little bird. And this is what life on their excellent etiquettes like anisette was
the best of the people in manners, that he would even speak to the small children. And he would ask
them about the games that they played, he would speak to the small children, and he would ask them
how they were. This is from the excellent manners of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we
		

			should do the same with our children and with children in general. Then we see them we give them
some attention. And we talk to them. And we look at them and and what they're doing. And we give
attention to it. They like to play a particular game, we ask them about it. Maybe they like a
particular food and we ask them about it. Or maybe we know that they're doing something be in school
or, or something like that, that they're doing at the moment and we ask them about it. We keep in
touch with what they're doing. This is from the excellent manners of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam, and the things that we should try to emulate with our children.
		

			The next point that we're going to cover is the statement of Allah xojo Weber totally aterna Hut
either Bella Monica hatha in nestel, Minh home washed and Pharaoh Pharaoh la him and while
		

			and this relates to giving responsibility, and it relates to the orphans. However, there is no harm
in as taking a benefit from this, any Shara from it, towards how we behave with our children. Test
the orphans such that when they reach the age of maturity, if you sense from them, that they are
responsible, then give them their wealth. Here sort of Nisa I in number six, this is an excellent,
excellent etiquette we can have with our children also. And that is giving them increased
responsibility and testing how they manage with it and not getting angry for the Hadees and us not
getting angry
		

			about when they might not necessarily fulfill it by giving them small tests of responsibility. I'm
going to give you some money to keep for yourself this is your money could be very small amount.
When you see they're responsible with it and they're careful with it, give them a little bit more,
and so on and you build up their responsibility like that. And even though this is something which
are lies, which I'll come
		

			Specifically with regard to the orphans, because they could have a large amount of money that
belong, that we are keeping it safe for them.
		

			That this is a particular methodology with them. There's no harm in US extracting this benefit in
how we deal with our children, and giving them responsibility, testing them, and observing how they
manage the responsibilities they're given. It could be even a non monetary responsibility could be
something like, I'm going to give you responsibility to do this job in the house. And when you see
that they're doing that responsibility, you know, that they can manage a little bit more and a
little bit more. And you're observing that by the time they reach the age of maturity, and they
reach the age of puberty, you know, that they can handle responsibility. And they are sensible with
		

			their finances, money and things like that. So very, very beneficial life essence, a part of
therapy, really, but it's an excellent, excellent thing we can do is just to observe our children,
and just to keep giving them little tests of responsibility, and to watch how they do. And when we
see that they succeed, we can give them a little bit more next time and a little bit more next time,
until suppiler will see the fruits of that when they reach the age of maturity. So Pamela, we see
older children these days. And we see that these older children, even sometimes young adults, and
they can't manage responsibility, they don't know how to manage their money. They don't they given a
		

			job to do, they don't perform it properly. And so partly makes you feel like that perhaps it could
be the case that they didn't get that tarbiyah in terms of responsibility. And what we can also
benefit from is integration from the hadith of Anissa, Ravi Allahu, and he said can also lie
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as any nursey Holika for our Selenium and the Hydra, for call to Allah.
He
		

			said the messenger of a loss A lot of it was lm was from the best of the people in manners. He sent
me one day to do a job. And I said, Well, I'm not going to go with NFC and Heather Lima, Mr. Ronnie
Biggie Nebula solo la vida said, let me say, but in my heart, I was intending to go and do what he
had told me to do. And this was a very young boy, when he when he was sent to serve the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he was a young child. And he said, Well, I'm not going to go. And then
he said, but I had in my heart that I was going to go and do what the prophet sighs him had asked me
to do from one of the personal matters that prophets had asked him to do.
		

			He said, For Hodge, to had a more raw LLC began in Wyoming a boon for soap. He said, I came out
until I pass by some young boys that were playing in the market for either us all Lysol Allahu
alayhi wa sallam called qabalah. Bill coffer. I mean, what it he said the prophets lie Selim, he
took hold of my neck from behind. He said when he was playing with the boys and the souk in the
marketplace.
		

			He said the profitsystem came behind me, I need to call my neck from behind. Carla for Nevada to LA
he was way up back. He said, I looked up at him. says if the prophets I said the beginning and
instead of nor that he would be angry or not, because he had said, Well, I'm not going to go. So the
Prophet sighs I'm he looked up at him. way up. He was laughing for kylea or nice at the hub to hate
what Mr. Took.
		

			He said, Oh, nice. And he didn't call him and he called him a little, like a sweet name. Yeah, or
nice. Did you go where I told you to go?
		

			Call a call to Nam? And I'd have we also like I said, Yeah, I'm going on messenger of Allah. So upon
look at the way the Prophet size of the first time, he asked us to do it. And I said, Well, I'm not
gonna go.
		

			And then he went out and he started playing with the boys industry. The Prophet system came behind
him. And he took hold of him from behind, and ns got frightened and thought maybe the profitsystem
is angry with him and he looked in the prophecies and was laughing at him. And he said, Oh, an ace,
or an ace. Did you go where I told you to go? Are you going? said yes, or messenger of Allah. I'm
going to go and do what you told me to look at the excellent way the prophets Isom dealt with an S.
		

			Rather Allah to Allah Allahu wa. When it came to that sometimes when you ask your children to do
things that might not be the way they might not do what you want, when the first time they might not
they might get upset and say, Oh, no, I'm not going to do it.
		

			And look at the way the profitsystem dealt with it because it wasn't a matter of the Was it a matter
of the halaal and the harm. It wasn't from the matters that were any matters of the religion, but a
personal matter that affected the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So the Prophet
sallahu wa salam was gentle with him. And he just gave him some time just to, you know, just to go
and play and then he came to me said
		

			You've gone where I told you to go.
		

			So he went, and he went to to do the job that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
asked him to do, from the rights that our children have. And this is an important right that we have
to give emphasis to, is that which is indicated in the Hadith, which is narrated by Malik in his
mouth, pioneer hacking, and others. And that is that the prophets lie Selim said, LA, da, da, da,
what are they wrong, there is to be no harm caused to anyone. And here the the Han, there's a lot of
different discussion about the difference between a bottle there are, it's said that it means
intentional harm and unintentional harm. There are many other discussions on the meaning of this.
		

			But it's really important that we don't harm our children, we don't do anything that would harm them
or bring about harm to them. And that's what you see from the example of the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam he didn't do anything to that would bring about harm for those children. And that
could be a physical harm, that could be a psychological harm. That could be something to harm them
in terms of their future, and their prospects. And of course, when we talk about this, we're talking
about the lie of Islam, we're not going to sacrifice their religion for the sake of the of the
dunya. But that is one example of harm, right? where some of the parents, they sacrifice the child's
		

			religious status and religious education, and religious observation, they sacrifice this, because
they want to give them a bigger chance in the dunya. And in reality, this doesn't, this doesn't give
them a bigger chance in the dunya, because the dunya is in the hands of Allah Subhana ttan. But
ultimately, this this is a kind of bottle, it's a kind of harm that people bring upon their
children, exposing them to the harm is a harm that parent brings upon the child, exposing them to
the harm, and causing them to,
		

			to suffer, or to have to experience harm being done in front of them, either. Also, this is from the
things that causes harm to the child. So it's very important, as we conclude our discussion on the
rights of the children. And I brought this at the very end very deliberately, that really, we want
to kind of a summary, that that really is very, very important that we look and we try to do
everything that would benefit our children. And we don't do anything that would cause our children
harm, or bring about harm for them. And the greatest harm we could bring about for our children is
something that would cause them to
		

			be punished by Allah subhanaw taala, or cause an alarm to be angry with them, would cause them to
enter the fire. There is no greater harm than that. So ultimately, we must keep our children away
from those harms. And also the things that would harm them in the dunya, we must look after them and
take care of them, because they're a huge blessing and a huge investment. That brings me to the end
of what Allah made it easy for me to gather from the rights of the children and the obligations of
the parents. What remains in this segment on children is to talk about when things go wrong, and
some generic advice. And that's again, going to be closer to a naseeha and advice that I'm going to
		

			put forward as to what you should do when the relationship with your children has gone wrong. And
maybe the total beer that you were hoping for them has gone wrong, or the way that you were hoping
for them to develop has gone wrong. We need to give some advice in this regard, just like we did on
the topic of marriage, about how to manage it when when the marriage goes wrong. When things go bad
in the marriage, how do we handle that? Likewise, how do we handle things when things don't go the
way we would like with regard to our our children, particularly the older children, it can be very
difficult. So we're going to give some advice in this regard and shout out to Allah in the next
		

			episode and inshallah that will bring us to a conclusion on the topic of our children and the rights
and responsibilities as relates to the children or the children as part of the Muslim family. And we
will go on inshallah, after that to deal with a whole new segment as it relates to parents and and
how a child should be towards their parents, the rights of the parents and obligations towards the
parents and Sharla. And then again, on to the wider relatives and the relationships that are there,
similar to him, keeping the ties with a family members and so on. That's what a lie made easy for me
to mention in this episode. And before we conclude, I would like to invite the students who have
		

			been following this course you've been on a quite a journey with us. I think we have now reached the
		

			region of 40. episodes. What do you learn? By the grace of Allah azza wa jal? I'm sure that you had
questions, if you have questions, and you would like to have those questions answered as part of the
course. So it's not like an individual answer. But we would look at those questions. And we would
actually do a q&a episode for this course in Sharla. Before the course concludes, then I would
invite the students who would like to do that, to send their questions to
[email protected] [email protected]. And if you could put in the subject Muslim family, because that
email is used for other types of questions as well. If you just put Muslim family in the subject,
		

			what we will do is gather the questions together, summarize them, and we'll try to produce a q&a
episode, at the end of the series, inshallah, to answer the questions that you might have, that
things I might have raised, or things that you didn't understand or things I didn't explain properly
inshallah, because I think that's, you know, that's a beneficial way of interacting with the
students in Sharla. As it relates to this course, which has been a long course longer than we
expected, it would be
		

			Alhamdulillah. So I should allow those students who have you know, had patience and been through it
and gone through it and they would like to ask some questions, you're more than welcome to send your
questions to [email protected] and inshallah, what we will do is we will go through them, only the
ones that relate to the course, it doesn't mean you can't ask other questions, you're welcome to ask
questions whenever you like, but in terms of this part of this segment here is to answer questions
that are related to material in the course in Charlottetown. We try to do a q&a episode, which will
try to release along with the series inshallah, or shortly after this us concludes, inshallah,
		

			whatever Allah makes easy. So that brings us to the end of this episode, and a Lionel's best. Wa
Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad Ali, he was happy
		

			as salaam alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of
the courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to a m au add home.com