Tim Humble – The Muslim Family #27 – The Challenge of Raising Children

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			leeuw Alhamdulillah europian alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Abdullah he was holy Nabina Muhammad wa
ala alihi wa sahbihi edge mine Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. As always, we begin with
the praise of Allah azza wa jal, we ask Allah azza wa jal to exalt dimension and grand peace to our
messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to his family and his companions. Welcome to another
episode from the Muslim family. This short course brought to you by and madrasa to Romania.
		

			We still talking about our children, and we're talking about our children as a test and a
responsibility.
		

			And the next idea that I want to speak to you about is an ayah. In Surah Taha Boone is number 14.
		

			Allah azza wa jal said, Yeah, you Hi Latina woman in naming as word you can, what do I do when they
come? Through? My entire foo? What Oscar who whatever funeral for Enola have a photo right?
		

			Similar to turabian is number 14. a lot. So Jill said all you who believe and remember, we've
established this principle in many different lectures, that whenever you hear the words, yeah, you
are letting me know, this is something which is very important. It is something being addressed to
you as a Muslim. And Allah subhanaw taala is giving you a command a prohibition, or something, which
is a vital piece of information for you. And that's Allah subhanaw taala is calling you. Yeah. Are
you Hi Latina, or you who believe in an S word youcome. What do I do when,
		

			indeed, among your wives, and your children are enemies to you find out all home, so be careful of
them.
		

			Now, here, we've spoken about our children, as a gift. We've spoken about our children, as a test
from Allah subhanaw taala. We've spoken about the nearmap the blessing of having children. So how
could it be that Allah subhanaw taala describes among our children and our wives, enemies, and he
uses the word I do an enemy? How could that be? I want you to have a think about that. Because maybe
the first answer that comes to your mind initially, might not be the only way of looking at the eye
or might not be the only answer that is that is put forward by the people of knowledge and the
scholars of Islam. So have a think about it. We've talked about how children are a blessing, a gift,
		

			a test, also a responsibility, as sooner from the sunon of that of the Prophet alayhi wa Salatu was
Salam. So how could allies which will describe them as? How could it be that Allah subhanaw taala
described them as I do as an enemy to you, even though no doubt allies, which I said in a min as
well as you can among your wives and among your children? There are enemies to you have a think
about that one, pause the video, have a discuss, or have a discussion with those who are around you
who might be watching with you in Sharla, and see if you can come up with an answer.
		

			So inshallah Allah you had a chance to think about that. Pause the video, have a think, here. It's
not so much that it's talking about a child who is really, really bad, or someone who is plotting
against you or seeking to harm you. We're not necessarily talking about the situation that happened
with Yusuf and his brothers at a salon. And what happened with them seeking to harm him like they
were enemies to him. Rather, this idea is more general than that. And to understand this idea, we
have to ask ourselves, what is an enemy? In reality? What's an enemy? And I remember Saturday, Rahim
Allah to Allah and among others among the scholars of Islam, they mentioned that the enemy is the
		

			one you redo. He wants for you a sharp, he wants something bad. He desires something for you, which
is bad. He desires something or wants something for you, which is bad, and reality. The reality of
the situation is that there are many times when our wives and our children
		

			Once things and those things in the sight of Allah azza wa jal are not good for us.
		

			So really, this ayah is not talking about them as plotting against you and hating you, and seeking
to bring about your ruin and your destruction, as much as he's talking about the fact that if you
were to take on board, every suggestion that was given to you by your wives and your children, and
you were to follow every wish that they had, among those wishes, and those desires would be things
that are bad for you. And so they become like, the enemy, like in the position of the enemy, in the
sense that they actually telling you and encouraging you and directing you towards something which
is not good for you. Of course, the enemy is plotting and planning and doing it deliberately. But
		

			here, it might even be inadvertent, it might even be something that isn't conscious and deliberate.
But when you look at the situation in its true, in the true reality of it, what you see is, you see
that what they're actually asking you to do, and what they're actually calling you to do and
inviting you to do and directing you towards is something which is bad for you. And something which
is a shadow, it's bad, and it's evil, and it's going to bring something negative upon you.
		

			And I brought this particularly for a couple of reasons, this ayah. First of all, it gives us that
different aspect, but also it's part of the test and the trial of our children. Part of the test and
the child trial of our children, is that sometimes we will be tested by our children, pressuring our
children seeking something which is not good for them. And it's not good for you. And one of the
tests and the trials is to take that responsibility to be able to resist that pressure when it comes
at times and to direct it in the right way, and to respond in the right way. And here, what shows
you in the eye, that the word enemy here is not necessarily the enemy that seeks your destruction?
		

			Is the statement of Allah entire for what us for who what have you, if you pardon?
		

			If you pardon?
		

			What was Pharaoh and you let things go? Whatever Pharaoh and you forgive you pardon, and you
overlook, you treat them well and you forgive them Allah is a call for a right. And this is a great
reward that Allah subhanaw taala promises that people who behave in this way. So he Allah subhanaw
taala didn't speak about them in the second part of the ayah like that I do Who is the one who is
plotting against you and seeking your destruction? Because Allah subhanaw taala spoke about that
kind of enemy elsewhere. Elsewhere in the Quran. So for example, if we look at the statement of
Eliza gel, for many it alikoum ferriter, to LA Hebei with limited sort of Baccarat, that whoever
		

			transgressors against you your enemy, then respond back to them transgress against them the same way
that they did to you. So here this is completely different. So for example, it's sort of to Bukhara
Eliza gel said furminator de la competitor to LA Hebei Mifflin Matata, LA, whoever transgressors
against you then transgress back against them in the same way that they transgressed against you. So
this is talking about the the enemy that is a typical enemy. But here a Lost Planet, Allah is
talking about something very subtle, because the response What is it, to forgive, to pardon, to
overlook, to let it go to have mercy upon them. So So Pamela, here is definitely a different kind of
		

			emnity is a kind of inadvertent emnity. And it tells us a lot about the responsibility of a parent
towards their children, that we can't be as parents, just allowing everything that our children
want. Because ultimately, they are going to be some things among those things that our children, one
that are bad for us and bad for them. And sometimes our children might put that kind of pressure.
And really, this is a, in a way, it's kind of a natural thing that maybe not necessarily from the
good natural things, but how children learn to sort of manipulate their parents and how they learn
to sort of try and push their parents to get what they want. and in this situation, they could be
		

			in the position of the enemy, in the sense that what they're actually asking you for and what they
actually call inform what they actually trying to get from you is a shot something which is bad. And
so part of your responsibility is to resist that. But you don't resist it the way that you resist
the enemy that comes to you with a sword. Instead you resist it with an apple by pardoning with a
soft by letting things go and by having better manners with them.
		

			Then the way that they might have with you, and by forgiveness and by forgiving and overlooking and
if you do that, and you manage the situation of the fact that there can be these things that crop up
between us and our children between us and our spouses, then the reward is the forgiveness and the
mercy of Allah in Allah or fall on Rahim, Allah azza wa jal is for Allah spontaneous off forgiving a
loss. panatela is Rahim Allah subhanaw taala is merciful. So here, what we take from this ayah is
that part of the test and the trial that we have, and part of the responsibility that we have to
have with regard to our children, is that we have to put Allah azzawajal and put Islam first. And we
		

			have to make sure that we filter our relationship with them and the requests that they make and the
things that they want. We filter that through the lens of Al Islam. And what Islam says is good,
what Islam tells us is not good for us, and that we take that responsibility to shepherd our
children through these kind of requests in the kind of things that they might want to do. And we
guide them towards what is good by the permission of Allah azza wa jal, and whenever there are
difficulties between us that we struggle in that, then our principle is to pardon to overlook to
forgive what we stand our ground in terms of what Islam told us and in terms of what Islam taught
		

			us. And the reward for that is the forgiveness of Allah and the mercy of allies.
		

			And allies which have told us in Santa Monica, * is number nine. Yeah, you have Latina, M and
hula to come and welcome Allah, Allah to come and victory LA, Mama, Yes, Daddy katha hula, hula 00
you believe, do not allow your wealth and your children to distract you from the remembrance of
Allah. And whoever does that, then they will be the losers. Now to really understand this, and in
this is part of understanding our children as a test and a trial. And a responsibility is really you
need to understand what the word total hichem what it means, really, because the scholars they
mentioned this, in her, it is initially all alcohol is for the heart to become distracted.
		

			It's for the heart, and that, generally speaking the word, a level
		

			from which this word comes, it refers to a destruction of the heart. Don't allow your heart to
become distracted, by your wealth by your children, and allow those things to remove or to distract
you or take you away from the remembrance of Allah and whoever does this, then they are the losers.
		

			This shows us that our children, we love our children a great deal, and our children have a very
special place in our heart. But it's very important that we don't allow that to cause us to
compromise as it relates to our religion. And as it relates to the remembrance of Allah, and the
obligations that ally soldier has established upon us. And we don't allow ourselves to become
distracted by that. And as we mentioned before, how many people actually compromise on their
religion, because of their children, or because of a spouse, and they allow themselves to become
busy and preoccupied by those things, instead of the remembrance of allies. And the beautiful thing
		

			is that because we've taught, and we've mentioned that, the about that children are a Sunnah from
the Son and of the MBA, that it's perfectly possible to have to be a great parent, to have a great
relationship with your children, to get near to Allah azza wa jal, and for your children to be a
reason to help you to get near to Allah.
		

			That's perfectly possible. Because the prophets, Allah wa Salatu, Salam gave us the example of how
to do that. But there's also a danger here. And this is just like these two, as we've mentioned, the
iron sword attack Goblin and the iron circle, mafia cone, both of them tell us the danger, the
danger that can be there in our children, if we don't take this test and responsibility seriously,
that one, they could be in the position of an enemy to us. They could be in a situation where
actually, what they're actually calling us to and pushing us towards is something which is which is
bad for us. And likewise, there could be a reason for our hearts to become preoccupied away from the
		

			remembrance of Allah as the origin. And likewise, the wealth that is mentioned in the eye how many
people leave the remembrance of Allah from the Salah, or from any of the other obligations that
Allah has established? And they leave it because of their work? I'm working, I can't pray or I'm
busy. I can't pray
		

			My business as you know, is calling me and I can't pray. Same thing that happens in our wealth is
the same thing that can happen with your children, that you compromise in some way that takes you
away from the remembrance of Allah azza wa jal and if you do this, then you've truly lost. So we
want our children instead, to be a means to help us in the remembrance of Allah. And we had alluded
to this in the ayah in which are lies, which has said we're Latina men or whatever at home zariya,
to whom the man in and how can I be him Koreatown I, in which allies which are sending sort of
taught, those who believe, and their offspring follow them in Eman, we cause their offspring to be
		

			able to join them to join them in paradise. And so Paula, that's a beautiful example of how the
children could be a reason to help you to remember a law and a reason to help you to be among the
people of gender. And that's part of a test right? There are great rewards in doing it, right. And
there are also great dangers in doing it wrong. So this ayah tells us about not allowing your heart
to become preoccupied and I think that's really profound because it's not talking necessarily about
your body becoming preoccupied. And that's, that's the word he has very specific. Because it's true,
you could become physically preoccupied, like we say the person who's working and running around
		

			doing a job and says I you know, I can't go to the memory of physically preoccupied, but much
greater danger is for your heart to become preoccupied. That actually the problem is not physically
you being being busy and preoccupied and and running around. But the problem is that your heart,
it's pre it's, it's making your heart busy from the remembrance of Allah azza wa jal. So this is
something that we have to be very careful of if you want to pass this test, as relating or as it
relates to our children. And this responsibility is also alluded to in a hadith of Abdullah Ahmad.
And we are mentioned this Heidi's already an indivisible of Hollywood cinema and the whole call ella
		

			kulu. Camera in worku. lucam Miss ulaan anre Yeti, indeed all of you are shepherds and all of you
will be asked about your flock amuro a lady Allah Nasir are in wahoo Emma's all on Android at what
rajpura in an early beta, he was all on on home, Wilma to Aria tune IBT ballyhale well, where did he
where he Ms. koolatron home? Will Abdul are in Atlanta and he said, Ed, you are homeschooling and an
African look more in work will look homeschooling Owen and rocky yet in Hades in Bukhari and Muslim.
		

			That indeed, all of you are shepherds, and all of you will be asked about your flop. And both the
man and the woman here, we've mentioned this howdy before, probably more than once in this course
already, at least once you mentioned it before. But here I want to focus on the fact that both of
the two parents, their children are included in their responsibility. And that's why the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us that the man is a shepherd. And he will be asked about he's a
shepherd over LGBT, that people have his household, all of the people in his household, his wife,
his children, and anyone else that shares his household with him, whether it might be Pat, for
		

			example, a servant or whatever it might be. So ultimately, a man is responsible for the people in
his household, and the word responsible hear the word miss all and we see in Arabic, we talk about a
miss Walia responsibility, it means to be questioned, because that's ultimately what it what the
meaning of the word responsible is, that you will be held responsible, a man will be held
responsible, he will be asked the question by Allah azza wa jal about the members of his household,
including his children, and then even the wife. And you might think that because the husband is like
in the position of the head of the household, that perhaps the wife is absolved of his
		

			responsibility, and perhaps she won't be asked about this responsibility, perhaps it will all be
upon the husband. But the Prophet slicin said that a woman is a shepherd. And she's a shepherd over
the house of her husband and his children. Well, well as he all of his children
		

			that are in that house, she is responsible for those children. And so that means that this
responsibility is upon both of the parents. And it's a mess already a meaning that the parent will
be asked about it and questioned about it by Allah subhanaw taala, and they will have to prepare an
answer for that question. Think about how you're going to answer that Masuda, that responsibility,
and that allies which is going to hold you responsible for that.
		

			Now, here, it's really important to note a point which is I believe, it's very important
		

			Which is that you won't be asked about the ultimate result or the end result, the argument of what
happened to your children, because that's not in your hands guidance and misguidance in the hands of
Eliza widget, but you will be asked about what you did for your personal responsibility, your own
responsibility that you were commanded to fulfill, as for the result of whether that responsibility
ended up in that child being guided, and being, you know, upon the straight path, and being from the
people of gender, and this is not in your hands, but what is in your hands is discharging and
fulfilling that responsibility that you had to the best of your ability. And whatever happened to
		

			your child, whether they went upon the straight path, or whether they deviated you continued to
discharge your responsibilities in the way that Allah subhanaw taala commanded you to do. So
ultimately, it's not that you'll be asked about
		

			the end result of what happened to those children. But you'll be asked about how you behaved and how
you responded to the challenges and the difficulties and the tests that came along with regard to
your children and whether you discharge that responsibility properly and effectively or not. Even
more scary than that, is a Hadeeth which is narrated from obey to lie in his yard that he visited
mapping in yourself and most any, probably Allah when he modeled the he led Murphy in the sickness
in which he died. I went Markel when you saw Viola when he was sick in the sickness which he
ultimately died from. Carla Markel in the Mojave suka, Hades, Ethan Markel, he said, I'm going to
		

			tell you a Heidi similar to a woman Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam lo aalim to en le hyah
Maha desktop.
		

			He said, I'm going to tell you about Heidi, that I heard from the Messenger of Allah sallallahu
wasallam. And if I knew that I was going to live longer, I wouldn't have told you this. Heidi
		

			is telling this Heidi because he fears that he's going to pass away, and that he might not have
discharged his responsibility in conveying this hadith to the people. So when he felt that his death
was approaching, he said, I'm going to tell you a Heidi they heard it's a miracle who I heard it
from the messenger of a loss of law while he was in them.
		

			And if it wasn't that I thought that I was going to die I wouldn't have told you this hadith. He
said in the cemetery told us all a lie Salalah while he was sending me a call, I heard the Messenger
of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam see me ma'am in abdeen yesterday, he left who right here? Yeah
moved to yo maya moto Hua, Hua Shan lira, Yeti Illa Howe Rama La La Hill Jenna Hadith in Bukhari and
Muslim. He said there is no servant
		

			who Allah gave irresponsibility to.
		

			And he dies and the day that he dies he betrayed he was in a state of betraying that responsibility
he was he wasn't fulfilling that responsibility in their heart Ramallah agenda except a lower make
gender haram for him.
		

			There is no person who is given a responsibility By Allah, and he's given people to look over to be
responsible for he has people under his responsibility. And on the day he dies, he is in a state of
betraying them in that responsibility. And he's not fulfilling that responsibility in the way that a
lie commanded. Allah will make gender harm for him. So panela this hadith is from the most from
among that that Hadith that put fear into your heart when it comes to the issue of responsibility
towards your children, the your children, ultimately they are within your they are within your
flock, your Shepherd, your Shepherd, Allah in lF aku, kumaran workqueue locum, meserole on Amrita
		

			indeed all of you are shepherds and all of you will be asked about your flock. And here even though
this hadith is often mentioned, under the topic of the Amir,
		

			the governor of the Muslims or the ruler of the Muslims, in reality, this hadith applies to every
one who the Prophet described them as raw, a shepherd. So that includes the Emir, Lady Elena's the
Emir that is responsible for the people. It includes the man towards his household. It includes the
woman towards her husband's household and his children. And it includes the slave towards his
masters property, because all of those the prophets, I think, described them as far as a shepherd.
And here it says that any person who alive gave that flock to give that responsibility to
		

			The day that they die, they are in a state of betraying the people that they are responsible for how
to Ramallah agenda, Allah makes gender haram for them.
		

			So this is the danger of failing in this test towards our children, that how can a person take it
lightly and take or not take it to be a big responsibility and not see it to be such a big test and
a trial, that this is the danger of failing as it relates to failing in your responsibilities
towards the people that Allah has placed, has placed you in authority over them. So for example, the
man as it relates to his household as it relates to his wife as it relates to his children, and that
you know, we talked about this as relates to marriage. You know, when we said about the issue that
yes, a man has rights Yes, a man has a woman and authority. Look at the danger if he doesn't
		

			fulfilling Haram. Allahu Allahu Allah makes gender haram for him. The woman, she has responsibility
over her children, her children have to obey her. We talked about the importance of or we inshallah
to Allah we can go into more detail later on about this, the issue of the relationship and the
rights of the parents over the children and the right of the parents, to for their children to obey
them. But look at the danger if you don't fulfill that responsibility properly. However, on the law,
it gender law mix gender harm for that individual. And in our next Hadeeth we're going to see that
this is not just a danger for the parents this responsibility, but it's also a danger for the
		

			children as well. There is a hadith narrated by Abu hurayrah and they'll cannae or call or Carlos
all lies, Allahu Allah Salah mermin mole Odin Illa, Allah to Allah, for Allah wa who you help with
any Oh, you wanna see Ronnie? He Oh, you mentioned Sandy. Can I tune tegile Mahima to behemoth and
Gemma held to a Sona v Herman Jeddah,
		

			IV hora. He narrated from the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he said, there is
no child except that child is born in a natural state in the state of Utah. But it's the parents
that turn them into a Jew, or a Christian, or a median, like the animal that promises and give the
example of the animal from among the cattle, the behemoth and it gives when it gives birth to an
animal. And this is to understand this, you have to understand what they did in the time of Jay Lee,
pre Islamic times, they used to mock or brand cut the ears of the cattle and this was a part of
their, the polytheistic beliefs they had. And the prophets I some asked when the cattle is born is
		

			it born like that? It's not born like that the cattle is born without that floor without that
deficiency in it, and without that belief attached to it. But it's the people that cut the ears of
the cattle. It's those people who had that those polytheistic beliefs, they are the ones who cut the
ears of the cattle. Likewise, the child is born pure. The child is born upon a state of natural
inclination to worship Allah. But look at what the parents can push the child towards that push the
child towards becoming a Jew or a Christian or any other religion. And so ultimately, it's not just
the responsibility is not just a responsibility for the parent. It's also a responsibility towards
		

			the child and what that child is brought up upon. And know that everyone will have the opportunity
to Las panatela what I offered him or a book a holiday, your Lord doesn't oppress anyone, everyone
has the opportunity to turn towards Islam and to accept the message. But Subhana Allah, look at what
did the parent how the parent can start their child in life, or the danger that the parent can have
for their child. The parent can either take their child towards Islam and give their child a great
start, and an opportunity to grow up in Islam. The child or the parent takes their child away from
Islam to some other different kind of religion. So the danger is not just a responsibility that
		

			affects the parent and the parent not getting into gender, but it also affects the child as well.
And that's all we have time for in this episode. And ally switcher knows best was Salatu was Salam
ala nabina Muhammad, while early he was so happy ajmeri
		

			salaam alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the
courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to a m au add home.com