Omar Suleiman – Why Me #14 Why Were These People Put In My Life
AI: Summary ©
The importance of forgiveness and showing excellence in response to evil behavior is emphasized, along with the need for suffering for inner peace and contentment. The speakers also emphasize the importance of showing love and understanding suffering for inner peace and contentment, and offer advice on achieving the message of peace and contentment, including taking responsibility for one's actions and showing faith in oneself. The speaker emphasizes the importance of unlocking one's higher self through witnessing others' actions and recounting them to make wjit and regret.
AI: Summary ©
Heartbreak has many faces.
There's the sadness and ache of loss.
There's also the anger and indignation of betrayal.
Why did Allah put such people in your
life?
Does he want you to feel like you've
been crushed to pieces?
Where's the purpose in that?
Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta A'la says, Khudila'afwa
wa murbilar'ulfi
wa aaridhanil jahileem.
Be gracious,
enjoying what is right and turn away from
those who act ignorantly.
When this verse was revealed, the prophet SallAllahu
Alaihi Wasallam asked Jibreel Alayhi Salaam what is
this all about?
And Jibreel Alayhi Salaam said, I won't know
until I ask my Lord. And he returns
to the prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam. And he
said, Verily Allah commands you to reconcile with
those who cut you off,
to give to those who deprive you and
to pardon those who wrong you. Then later,
when Ali radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu receives the sword
of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam after he
passes away,
he sees engraved in the sword those very
same statements.
Urfwaaman
dalamakwasalmanqataq
wa'hsin ilaaman asa'ilayq
waqulilhaqwaloalanafsikh.
Forgive those who have wronged you,
Reconcile with those who have cut you off.
Show excellence to those who have shown you
evil.
And speak the truth even if it's against
yourself.
Allah in all of His glory and power
inscribed upon His throne, My mercy overcomes my
anger.
And he sent his Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam
wahmatan lil aalameen who inscribes on his sword
an object that's associated with violence
words about mercy.
Being able to swallow anger and resentment and
deal with people with grace despite the pain
of betrayal and hurt is probably the easiest
prophetic quality to admire, but the hardest one
to attain. The forgiveness of Yusuf Alayhi Salaam
towards his brothers, The forgiveness of the Prophet
SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam towards those that persecuted him.
And all these stories of noble people that
dealt with the worst of people.
But this was the standard that Allah held
the best human being after the prophets too.
Abu Bakr as Siddiq radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu. When
a man slanders his own daughter and that
was a man he used to give charity
to, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta A'la says, walyafu
waryasfahu
alatuhiboona
yakhrullahulakum
Forgive and pardon. Don't you want Allah to
do the same with you?
So while people can be a great blessing,
they can also cause us the most pain.
And Allah knows just how hard it is
to not respond in kind.
Waliman sabarawgafara
inna dalikaraminazmin
umur
Whoever has patience and forgives them, that is
certainly of the matters that requires the greatest
form of determination.
Good character really shows in how you deal
with people with bad character.
Can you withhold yourself from foul language if
someone has pushed all of your buttons?
Can you still work tirelessly, fee sabiillah,
even if you're getting no respect or recognition?
Will you still serve the people even if
they show you no gratitude?
The family you can't stand or coworkers that
seem so evil,
they have all been placed there by Allah's
decree for a reason.
So yes, truly evil people exist in this
ecosystem for a wise purpose.
You don't have to love the tyranny of
the tyrant,
but you know that the resilience within you
was brought out by that tyrant and the
reward will be great.
Even the presence of the Shaytan is an
opportunity for our elevation. So what then of
everybody else?
So with people, you find your higher level
of iman and being able to swallow that
anger.
And even sometimes return the evil with kindness.
And Imam al Qayyim Rahimuhullah he lists many
keys to getting over betrayal or heartbreak.
The first one he says is to realize
that they too are tests, just like the
tests of sickness and famine and drought and
physical pain. And many people are able to
endure those tests because they see them as
tests. But when it comes to being wronged
by others, they don't actually realize that that
pain too was decreed by Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala as a test.
The second key he says is to choose
patience over revenge.
He says sabr brings about a great reward.
Innamayuafasabiroon
ajr'um
bi ghayi
hisaab. Verily Allah rewards patience without measure. While
He rewards good deeds in accordance with their
good, Allah Azzawajal puts no limit on patience.
And in this world, it brings about inner
peace and contentment
whereas revenge almost always leads to regret and
then maybe even the consequences of your own
transgression in response.
Now that doesn't mean that we tell people
that are being harmed to be patient.
That means we give them justice and then
put them in a position of being able
to show grace. And we encourage them at
that point to choose virtue over vengeance. And
Imam al Qayyim Rahimullah says the third key
is to realize that by showing good to
people who wronged you,
Allah will show you His good despite your
shortcomings and sins. And he quotes this beautiful
poem. He says, minajlika ja'altu khaddi arband
dishamatiwalhasoodihatta
tarumah
That for your sake, O Allah, I put
my cheek to the ground to the one
who insults me and to the one who's
envious,
all so that you can be pleased. SubhanAllah,
it's one form of humility
to prostrate our heads to Allah, but it's
a whole another level to place our cheeks
on the ground figuratively
for the sake of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta
A'la.
The next key is to achieve salamatul sadr,
to free your heart from grudges in a
way that allows it to make peace with
Allah's decree.
Now sometimes you need to see an example
of that to understand that it's possible,
even if it doesn't seem like it at
the moment.
But talking to others that have gone through
that before and learned how to not only
cope but seek the reward
is a major way to at least believe
that you have that chance sahab.
Because they too had their own friends who
caused them pain but eventually grew them in
piety.
There was once a man who entered a
gathering and the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said,
this man is a person of Jannah. So
Abdullah ibn 'Am radiAllahu Anhuma he follows him
home to talk to him thinking that he's
going to be some sort of sage who
prays all night and fasts all day. But
as he speaks with him, he realizes that
his station has nothing to do with extra
deeds.
It's because he cleared his heart of all
grudges every night before he slept.
That in and of itself is rewardable,
but it also allowed his heart to be
freed from the distraction of drama,
the weight of a grudge,
and all of the spiritual diseases that are
born out of anger. And then the consumption
with others that doesn't leave room for Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in our hearts. The quality
of that person's fajid with a clean heart
is better than an entire night of qiyaam
with a heart full of hate.
Sometimes all you need is time.
Just like you had to learn to wait
for the outcome of a dua,
sometimes you need to wait a bit longer
to let a wound heal before you can
even begin to ponder upon the wisdom of
that wound.
Allah swears by the passing of time, walaastr
And the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam told us
that Allah is ad Dahr, meaning Allah creates
and controls time.
The passage of time with patience can heal
wounds and bring tranquility even to the most
agitated of souls.
And you may even get to a point
where you can tell that story again and
again and feel no pain, just perspective.
There's no getting around the heart work that
you have to do no matter what stage
you're at in your heartbreak.
Reflect on the story of Yusuf Alayhi Salaam
and his brothers.
When do you think he actually decided to
forgive them? Was it when he first saw
them in Egypt after so many years?
Was it when they came back for Ben
Yameen?
Or was his heart pure of all the
barriers for forgiveness so that before he even
met them, he already had that willingness inside
to let go
even if his brothers didn't initially show that
they really changed at all. And that's the
ultimate key.
Unlock your higher self when you witness the
lower selves of others.
Rubbama kuntamusi'an
faaraqalihsanamink
suhbatuka
ilaamanhuwa
aswaahala
minq. You might be in a bad state,
then you're associating with 1 who is worse
than you, makes you see virtue in yourself.
Otherwise, the heartbreak can turn into resentment,
and resentment can turn into anger,
and anger can make us do things that
we regret for the rest of our lives
and maybe even our afterlives.
Ar radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu said about anger, awwalujunoon
waakhiruhunadam
Its beginning is insanity
and its end is regret.
There's a reason the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam
said to stay silent or to make wudu
or to seek refuge in Allah when that
anger starts to consume you. Because rage is
from the shaytan
and shaytan is from fire
and can lead a person to burn themselves
and others all around them rather than rise
to a place of tranquility and inner peace.