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In Pursuit of Happiness

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

Autumn Fair in London

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah.

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Nana Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala

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nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa

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ala Medina.

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Brothers and sisters, we praise Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, we really thank him for everything he has granted us we take so much for granted, we actually have much more than we deserve. We are actually those who have been blessed by so many things. The biggest of these blessings is the fact that we declare the Shahada and we have been chosen to be from amongst those who are Muslim in metal accept that from us. May He grant us ease in the dunya and in the Africa in this world as well as in the next I mean, we also send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his household, his companions, all those who have struggled through the years to protect and

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preserve the deen and to convey it in a way that today we are seated here in this beautiful little corner of London and Mashallah.

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This afternoon, inshallah, I will be sharing a few words connected to the family

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and inshallah I hope and I pray that I can be from the first who can benefit from it, inshallah. We all know that it is Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, who chooses who our parents will be. So I did not choose who my parents shall be. No, did you?

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It is the choice of Allah, where we do not have a say, at all. So I did not choose that my parents should be from Yemen, or from India or from Somalia, or from Pakistan or from Nigeria, or from America or South America or anywhere else. This is the choice of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Nor did I choose that I be born in a specific place, I did not choose like we always say, Do you know that your parents, your parents, have made do out for you most probably, to have a good child and so on. But you and I have never ever had the opportunity to make dua that Allah let me be born into a good home with decent parents. That hasn't happened. Because we were not existence or we were perhaps

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existing in a totally different form. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless us and grant this is

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what I mean is the room

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is with Allah subhanho wa Taala. I don't mean that we believe in reincarnation, I better make that quite clear.

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My brothers and sisters as we grow up our parents, and I'm addressing myself, a lot of us we do have our own children, Mashallah. It is our duty to make sure that we have tried our best to give the most exemplary upbringing to our own children, whereby they grow up to be an asset, firstly, to the family and to the man and secondly, to all humanity and to the creatures of Allah subhanho wa Taala, we need to benefit as much as we can. But that will only happen if we start off by benefiting ourselves. And if we've benefited ourselves, and we've helped ourselves and we've saved ourselves, we will be able to help save others. And we will be able to help benefit them as well. If I have not

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benefited myself, I'm not interested in developing, how can I really be truly bothered about the development of someone else. So when a person has children automatically, their life should change, change towards positive become more responsible, understand that the days of gaming and playing are actually over to a certain extent where your children have taken priority. And if we don't understand that children have taken priority, then perhaps those children might suffer an upbringing that is not befitting for them. Similarly, when a person gets married, a lot of people when they're young, Mashallah they have this beautiful perception, you know, oh, I'm marrying this girl of my

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dreams. And I married the guy of my dreams, not realizing, you know what, soon as you get married, you actually wake up from your sleep.

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So your dream comes to an end you stop living reality. Now comes the sacrifice. Now comes all the habits that you have to work on and so does she have to work on and now comes the great sacrifice whereby you have to get up and go to work, there are expenses, things need to be paid. If you if you think that marriage is just going to be I'm going to hug her and that's it whole day. I'm just going to be with her look at her smiles and love you gorgeous if that is the case, we have misunderstood what marriage is all about. Marriage is a great sacrifice and this is why you may never you may know a lot of people do not actually marry those who are their primary choice. Do you know that?

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See

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I heard a few yeses.

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Yes, Allah grant us goodness and ease. Because the truth is we have to compromise even sometimes when it comes to the choice, I know of cases where you have people who have proposals coming in their direction. And they keep saying no, no, no, no, no, until one day, they realize the guy perhaps 23 guys behind was really the best. By the time they get hold of him, he's already had three children.

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So this is all from Allah subhanho wa Taala. I'm not saying you're not allowed to see more, you know, people who are perhaps good propositions and so on. But we need to be, we need to be realistic about our choices. You know, I sit and I watch sometimes, and I did this here in London as well. The other day, we were in one of the areas and I saw three guys Muslim guys, good guys. I'd like to hope brilliant boys, but they had you know, these jeans that I really don't like, you know, and they were walking with and I told myself, I said, imagine these boys are marriage age, my daughter, for example. Do I really think this would make a good husband and father for the children of my own

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daughter? Or for my daughter herself as a husband? The answer is absolutely not. Absolutely not. And sometimes you see some of the young girls the way they carry on in life and they have marriage age, as though life is all about, you know, materialistic items to the degree that you ask yourself a question, Does she make a brilliant mother? The answer is No, she doesn't.

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So why I'm saying this, I need to ask myself, do I make a brilliant father? Or a brilliant husband? If the answer is yes, I'm ready to get married.

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If the answer is no work on yourself, make sure you develop your character your conduct become a good responsible person. You don't need to run to every every club in every corner and think that you know I need to enjoy because I'm still young. Whilst we are busy enjoying some of these haram things we can slip to the degree that we cut ourselves even after the wound is repaired, there will always be a scar. Some people in a little rage of trying to fulfill what they're the shape one with him is telling them to fulfill they've impregnated people, they've got children before marriage, may Allah grant us all goodness, and may He protect us. But they have to live with it for the rest of

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their lives. So panela they cannot deny the fact that look, this is what happened. I made a mistake. I'm not saying that your Paradise is jeopardized? Because there is always room for Toba? No, definitely. But what I am saying is be more responsible, these little points of trying to please oneself in an irresponsible way, where it causes so much damage that sometimes we can use the word irreversible for some of that damage, irreversible damage. So instead of that, from a young age, we grow up we have responsibility, and we make sure that you know, I am going to be an asset to my family, my society, my community, and I will really be the best spouse and father that I can be your

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spouse and mother than I can be. May Allah make it easy for our sisters as well. So brothers and sisters, the truth is, as we become more responsible, we will be able to choose a spouse that will be of similar thinking someone responsible, this is why go back to Mohammed salatu salam advice, and he tells you look you can marry for a few qualities, there are a few things you can look at, you know, you can see someone who really is gorgeous, drop dead gorgeous. You need to know that if that is the reason why you got married to her, then one day she will develop wrinkles.

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And if that happens, then what you fall in love with as the years progress would actually not be there because the truth is a good Muslim couple. as they grow older and more wrinkles develop. They actually love each other much more than the day they were married because they now realize that they have sacrificed together. They live together. They are fulfilling responsibilities together. And Allah has chosen for them to be part and parcel of those who shall bring up the rest of the oma or the future of the oma, this is the responsibility whereas if a person chooses for the wrong reasons, as you grow older, they become upset and they say oh no man. You know what I used to look at her.

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And I used to smile. I used to smile so much that my eyes used to water tears of joy. And now I look at her and at the same smile but the ideas are no longer of joy and love of

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goodness. Allah subhanho wa Taala bless us and may grant us tears of joy.

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So brothers and sisters, when you can marry someone for their wealth, that wealth will be depleted. One day it's gone so panela or it might be a means of destruction. When I say that, it can be that some people lose their Deen because they are swimming so much in the dunya. They lose their religion. They lose their

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Spirituality, they lose their sense of responsibility to Allah, because they are swimming so much that for them, life is all about accessories. It's all about whether you have a ring on every finger, it's all about the watches you have, it's all about the phone you have, it's all about the type of scent that you have, as you walk past, it's the type of noise that your shoe makes as you cross through the pavement. So panela if that's what you think life is all about my sisters or my brothers, believe me, we need a little bit of panel beating, we need a gentle reminder to say Hang on, go and visit those who've lost their loved ones, and keep on visiting those who lost people and

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you will wake up to the reality that one day I am going and this will not help me. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us all goodness, and May He grant us every form of success. I mean, so my brothers and sisters, why I started in this way is because the upbringing of children is closely connected to your choice of a spouse. If you have chosen correctly, Alhamdulillah and a lot of us have already chosen I think the bulk of us here I might be wrong, but we look married, not because we're looking a bit depressed, but because

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but because I presume the ages perhaps on average, here, maybe 25, if we were to divide it, you know, I see that older people are smiling.

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It's just the average we talking about each other. So if we take a look, at this age, a lot of us have already made a choice, we already married. In most cases, it's never too late to sit to have a heart to heart and to change our entire outlook to life if it is wrong, or if it needs changing, because we need to become responsible, you know, a loser is he or she who has children who are growing up and we still working on our qualities or that we were the better, we're not bothered about working on our bad qualities. So I've got for example, say two children, five children in reality, okay, let me tell you the truth. I've got six children, okay.

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So as they grow up, I need to be a person who is working so hard on my qualities that I look at my children and say my bad habit, I do not want them to have it. That's what it is. If I have a habit, for example, Allah protect us. This is not a bad habit of mine. But I'm going to see, if I have a bad habit of swearing, I better make sure that my children never witness that because I do not want them to grow up swearing. The same happens to those who smoke. A Winner is He Who doesn't smoke or she who doesn't smoke.

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But one who is at least a person who's conscious of the responsibility they have on their shoulders, is he or she who does not display that bad habit in front of their children in a way that the children don't even know that this particular father or mother of mine has this bad habit. It's a second way. Firstly, give it up. Secondly, make sure if you're not going to give it up or if you're still weak, make sure that you know I'm not going to do this in front of my children. So panela.

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and thereafter, we realize and understand that as these children grow up, even though we've already made a choice, we need to constantly ask ourselves, you know, the world out there is changing. So many things are changing every single day, there will come a time when one wonders how our children will be able to practice upon the deed, you know, we are not extremists or fanatics or people who say, you know, do bad things in the dunya in order to prove you're a good Muslim, that's not who we are. We are trying to work hard on ourselves to become better people and we want the goodness even for the enemies of Islam. We are people who would think Firstly, these enemies of Islam, how best

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Can I get their enmity to drop? How best Can I get them to thinking that Islam is a good religion and perhaps even change their views to the degree that they will consider coming into the fold of Islam? That's the type of thinking we should be having. And we should never be contaminated by people who have this violent thought and idea, may Allah protect us? We are worried about our children as they grow, what type of upbringing will they have? What type of people will get hold of them? When they go for example, into the public and they mix with people at the schools or anywhere else sometimes even some of them massage it may Allah grant us protection. We are we should be

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worried what type of friends they have, what type of ideas are being seeped into their heads, the only way we will be able to deal with that correctly is when your child is your friend at the same time. When your child is so close to you that they can say Mum, I had a bad experience today. And you don't just say what you know, because if you react that way, tomorrow, I've had only good experiences. That's what they'll say. Why because I don't want mom to get angry and upset. So these are all means of equipping oneself to look after the child in a way that will definitely be contributing towards the positive development of everyone around us. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala

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Help us help our own children. So brothers and sisters, like I say, we can change, we can sit and have a heart to heart. Let's forget about irresponsible behavior. Let's throw it aside. So many people are suffering because the husband doesn't come home until two in the morning. And when he comes home and the wife initially would be waiting for you and say, Where were you? What do you mean? You my wife? You shouldn't be asking me a question.

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It happens initially she wait for you. She'll be asleep at eight o'clock, nine o'clock on when you came in, when you went up? Is that the family relation you want? That you there's no human communication between the two of you. You come in and you say this waste of words. Sometimes it happens the other way around as well. Where you find the spouse, the wife uttering bad words to the husband, who do you think you are? You don't even earn a penny. I'm the one who brings in the money. Okay, okay. Okay, okay, I got the point. It's okay, but I'm still your husband.

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We need to really have a brilliant relationship. Well, like if that relationship determines the future of this woman. Do you know that?

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Why does the Prophet sallallahu Sallam say

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it's a hadith we know of by heart, we say it every now and again, the best of you are those who are best with their spouses family members, and actually includes a quite a few people, meaning that your close circle, the best of you are those who are best to your spouses and so on. I tell you, one of the reasons is because if the nucleus is dealt with the entire, the entire body will be dealt with.

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But if the nucleus is something wrong with it, you know, you have the DNA, something is wrong with it, everything else goes wrong, haywire. Why? Because there is a problem in the code. So if we want development, we need to make sure that core is correct. This is why we say become responsible. Come on, get home early, say good word. force yourself to utter words of romance and love to your spouse, force yourself and reciprocate it as well. You know, you can't just say, I love you. And next thing, she just looks at you and says,

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know, this reciprocation so panela it should come it really it should. And the reality is, there might be a stage where you think, Oh, you know, these are just words, say them. They mean a lot. Say them, they actually mean so much that they can comfort a heart that needed that comforting at that particular moment. And you won't know you can say a beautiful word. And next thing you see those tears rolling down the eyes for the right reasons in Sharla.

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Really, so my brothers and sisters, people look at Islam. And they think right when you're a good Muslim, you've got to divorce yourself from being kind to your family members. You just got to be in the masjid and you just got to be sitting there with your Salah you know, you've got to make sure that you when you walk around and and and and you know you must walk alone You must be seen with your women and your children and so on. That's not what Islam is. That's the wrong interpretation of Islam. Islam is so beautiful that it helps myself and yourselves

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to live the best possible life and followed by the best possible ophira the best possible life after death as well because Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us about our responsibilities. He tells us how to fulfill them. And not only that, he sent for us an example in the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam so beautiful that he says, if you were to follow this example, it is the best you could ever follow. There is nothing better than him. So we have a beautiful example to follow in the life of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam imagine emulating, go back and read the seal of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam Can I ask a simple question? And I want to see a show of hands. Don't be shy, be

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honest. How many of us, how many of us have read a complete book of the life biography of Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam from the point of birth or before? right up to after he left us completely? Show me with a show of hands?

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Let's put it down. Brothers and sisters do you not agree we can do better?

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Do you not agree we can do better? We want to be Muslims. We c'est la ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasulullah saw some you know, really that is then be of Allah Allah chose us as being the most blessed oma and we are part of the followers of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam What a great blessing. Come on, can we not read about his life? At least if today, we go home with an intention that I am going to buy a book I've come across a beautiful book. It's written by a salami. It's three volumes in the Arabic language, perhaps maybe more or less in the English language. But it's this the life of the noble Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam. It's not such an old book. It's quite

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recent and in it every every chapter, they come up with lessons and so on. Perhaps

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You can read the chapters you might agree with a lot of the lessons and one or two of them, you know that you might not be able to relate to them depending on your level and so on. But a powerful book so many volumes, I think taking picking see it, you will go through the chapter where he lived with his family members, how he lived, what he did, and so on what law he you will find so much of goodness, the problem was us, we are Muslim. Yes, we are.

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We want to read our Salah, and so on, and we will Alhamdulillah but we don't really know how to live our lives because we've never been through the life that we are supposed to be emulating. We haven't yet been through it. So when I tell people do you know, the problem between you husband and wife will be resolved If only you looked at how Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam lived with a Chateau de la Marina and tried to emulate and he says what how did he live? How can I tell you in five minutes, I can't you need to go out you need to search you need to read. This is the family life. This is the family you know today when you have a president Prime Minister and so on, they call them the first

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family, the First Lady and so on.

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everyone follows her this way and that way and this one that way and everything anything that happens to paneling, the dress code is sometimes emulated depending on how fashionable they are and so on. That is minor compared to what we're supposed to be doing as Muslims. We as Muslim, you don't know the life of eyeshadow. With Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam the bare minimum you don't know and you want to say I love Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam like I say brothers and sisters, I can do better and so can you I can, no matter what level I've got to I can do better and so can you but keep on telling yourself you can do better and work towards that. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us

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goodness. So now we've made a choice of a spouse. I hope that that choice is a good choice by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala someone who will grow up balanced. You know when we make a dua, we are taught to make a dua of Bana Tina dunya has another

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activity has Anna joaquina

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Allah grant us goodness in the dunya grant us goodness in the Akira and save us from the punishment of the Fire we know that why don't we so when we ask for goodness in the dunya it already shows that we are acknowledging we've got to live in the dunya so it's a balanced life. It is such that we know in order for me to get to paradise, I'm going to need to live in the dunya I can make use of the comfort that Allah subhanho wa Taala has put at my reach. What does that mean? I can afford to buy a Mercedes and handle out by one I can afford to have a beautiful kitchen so that my wife just looks at the kitchen and the food is cooked Mashallah, if I can do that Alhamdulillah you know where I

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come from, it's not a big deal to have a cook or to in the home so the women can just sit back relax and dish out instructions Today we will have

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chicken biryani Mashallah, that's what I heard we have enough.

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I don't know if it's mutton or chicken, but whatever it is, and we just got to dish out instructions if you can afford that, and that's your life. It's not wrong. But if that type of a life leads you away from Allah, subhanho wa Taala, then everything is wrong, everything is wrong. So you can have the best phone, you can have the best car, you can have the best clothing, you can have the best of everything. But if the love of those material items is above the love of Allah subhanho wa Taala there is a big issue. You know, when I went for ombre when I was very young with my father. And you know, when you're young and you've got hair and everything is you know, nice and cut properly, and

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you're so worried about it, you know? So panela

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because you're not yet married. Yeah. And everything is

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there. And now they come and they say you got to shave your head. Got to shave now you finish your ombre, you've got to shave, come on. And you look at I looked at my father, I said what?

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Yes, you're gonna shave your head. So I said, Okay, not a problem, we will get a che But aren't you allowed to cut it? Aren't you allowed to just clip it? You know, aren't you allowed to just cut off a little bit of it.

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So he says, I said, I'm sure I read a hadith in that regard. See, we know all these headaches.

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So my father says, Look, son, do whatever you'd like to do bearing in mind. And this statement stuck with me up to today. And ever since that day, I've shaved my head when I've gone for a run without a speck of doubt. Myself and my children. I don't mean the girls but the boys. So

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he says but remember one thing you do as you wish, meaning do one of the two you can do one of the two, it's fine, but remember, do not let the love of your hair exceed the love of Allah.

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Amazing. And I looked at him and I was a young boy. And I digested the words to the degree that to this day, even if I'm to grow a beard and you know no matter what it is, if there is something to happen, I will tell myself Yeah, Love Never Let Me Love this thing more than I love you. Yeah, you come first. Everything else comes after that. May Allah make a strong

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Sometimes we love our little phones we love our cufflinks we love our little pins we love what happens you love your your shoes and your socks and you know so many different the type of job you wear it so many things we get so attracted to it that we don't realize the love of that item is more than the love of Allah because Allah is saying something else. And we're saying, hang on, I just need to enjoy the next two years because I'm still going to college man.

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That's not how it works. That's not how it works. That luck. In those two years, you can make so many blunders that might be irreversible as we said. So rather than let the love of Allah subhanho wa Taala overtake the love of everything else. And this is when we will actually be heading in the right direction. Not only that, we cannot call ourselves Muslim until we love Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam more than anyone and everyone else, anything and everything else. Now you may know

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akuna la Manuela de la de when Nazi Germany none of you can call yourselves true believers. None of you are true believers until you love me. Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam says more than

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you know you want to know what he said.

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His own children, his own parents and all the people so much so that he told him

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even more than yourself.

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So if Muhammad sallahu wa sallam issued an instruction, and if my whims and fancies are telling me something else, if I'm a true believer,

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American meaning meaning either

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a Zulu ama, a akuna homolka to mean am Rahim to believing male or female. They are such that when Allah and His Messenger have decreed something issued an instruction, they do not feel that they have an option in that regard. They feel in their hearts that I have no choice This is the way it's going to be by the will of Allah Subhana Allah Allah, may Allah grant the steadfastness, I want to spend a few moments on telling you something very, very important. We are all searching for happiness, do you know that

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all of us we searching to be content happy, you know, I want to be happy. So some some people money makes them happy. Some people perhaps a member of the opposite sex makes them happy. Some people perhaps you know, their good health makes them happy with us the contentment that Allah blesses you in your heart upon the condition he has kept you upon. For as long as you've tried your best and fulfill the role he has placed on your shoulders, that is true contentment.

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When you're happy, I've tried my best I tried to get married to the correct person, for example, and I'm working very, very hard on myself, my spouse, my children, for example, I try to earn you know, as best as I can. I try to work hours that are in sync with the rest of my family so that whilst I'm working, I don't need to compromise the upbringing of my own children. I try my best some people can some people cannot do it so so well, but I try my best to keep myself healthy and fit. I try my best to do this and do that. Once I've done everything. Whatever comes in my direction is from Allah, I surrender to it and I'm happy upon that particular condition. I might not be able to afford what you

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can afford, but I'm a happy man, you might not be able to afford what I can, but you need to be a happy person. So how do we get that try your best develop your link with Allah subhanho wa Taala you will be happy but there is a big bug there. What is the big bug? A lot of people search for happiness exactly where the sadness lies.

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Exactly where the sadness lies.

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What does that mean? You are told the ingredients so firstly, who is the owner of happiness who is the owner of my heart Allahumma yamagami Baku, Allah, Allah you who in whose hands lies the turning of the hearts Allah can turn in any time he owns the hearts. So we know Allah owns DOS, he owns happiness, he tells you you want happiness, be strict on yourself be disciplined, this is how you will dress this is how you will speak this is what you will do. This is how you will operate this is what will happen. And you know what I guarantee you as a result, you will be a happy person.

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These are the choices you need to make. This is what you need to do. You need to fight yourself to in order to stay away from that which we will determine is detrimental for you.

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So if we follow strictly the ingredient, the ingredient of reaching happiness, we reach happiness. But when we for example, sit in front of the telly and we busy watching all the movies and everything happening and we get up and we dress as we want.

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I said this morning and I put out a tweet this morning about when you talk bad about people.

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It comes back some time to visit you knocks on your door and says Knock knock. You might have seen some of you might have seen the tweet. I worded it in a different way just to get through to a few people. So what happens it comes

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back, you say Who was that? What does it say? Says remember, some time back. You had bad words to say about so and so. Well, that's who I am. I'm back to visit you. Which means what goes around comes around.

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When we do things that are evil, believe me, they will come to visit us sometime in the future. They have to come to knock on our door. Who are you? Remember, you used to dress like this, huh? Okay, I'm back to visit you. In what way I don't even know. But we have Toba, we have we can close the door. We can chase those people away by turning to Allah. This is why we are lucky it's never too late.

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Unless obviously, the damage has been done already completely. And the circle has been closed. But if it hasn't yet been closed, remember? We turned to Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we ask Allah to forgive us. The point I'm raising is we sit in front of the telly, we busy worrying about so many things to me, like I said yesterday, and I'm going to repeat it sisters with all due respect, with all due respect. Sometimes we sit and we hear you know, people ask questions about a permeable

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nail varnish. You heard it permeable Nirvana. Are you going to die without it? No. Is it really desperately something necessary? No. So because it's being debated, just leave it out. You are safe, but that logic is not understood unless you have some form of consciousness of Allah in your heart and you tell yourself this particular road to happiness I needed desperately. What if just what if there is a 1% chance that you know what you will do is not valid your Salah is not valid

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1% chance 1% you say? Well, that's such a small, you know, probability possibility. The fact that we say it's a small with so many A's in the middle, it already shows that we desperately want to do something whether it's right or not a lot of the times because I want to live up to the other sisters. You know, I want to live up to the other brothers when I walk past they must smell that on me. What's it called? Can I tell you what it's called? Now Cesar Rodriguez Mashallah. Wow beautiful smell amazing. Rodriguez Hey

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then what happened after that what happened? Mashallah, you attracted the attention now they fighting for your phone number. And after they got it What happened? They started dialing you and after they died, what happened? They found your WhatsApp and after that they BBM you or WhatsApp? You and after that what happened? Your husband saw the message at two in the morning. Next thing you're back at home. Why? Cesar Rodriguez? Will he come back to you and say Hey, sorry, that wasn't me. But Allah told you to take it easy. Allah told you from day one. You want to happiness just follow a simple path be happy. Nobody's gonna fight for your number, my sister they won't Don't

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worry. But some people get a kick out of it. Even the brothers it happens to them. Why?

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Now we walking past we want everybody to look at us. So now my hair is in a specific way. My shoes are in a specific way my jeans are in a specific way. And I have a certain bounce to my walk and you find the sisters.

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Dude, man, don't he look like me, bro.

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And then what happens? We don't realize that we don't realize that after that. They hunting for you. And you know what? It's so easy. Everything is now given and sometimes people are so old. I met a 19 year old man. And believe me he was pretending like he was about 25 he had his head died early and he was walking around young and you know, he shook my hand from from about a meter back. And you know, he's and I looked at him I said uncle Don't forget you quite young. Okay, this age is just a finger. Okay? And I'm thinking but you've got great grandchildren. Come on, stop pretending man. Now the moral of what I'm saying it's good to be healthy. It's good to feel young Mashallah. But for the

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obedience or within the obedience of Allah subhanho wa Taala Otherwise, the happiness doesn't come. So sometimes you have older people, they pretend. Yesterday, I was talking to someone about eternal garments. And, you know, it's it's a marriage website. And you know, there's shaadi.com I don't know, there's no talaaq.com but they so many of these marital websites, you know, the reality is, they are sometimes predators who are on there who are married people who have nothing wrong, they're doing it for fun. And that's all sometimes it happens sometimes.

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Obviously, I'm not saying all the time, but sometimes it does happen. And if we're not careful, and if we don't use the guidelines of Allah subhanho wa Taala that's when we can fall when you use the guidelines of Allah subhanho wa Taala in your life, believe me, that path can only lead you to heaven. It can only lead you to gender and if something happens in your life, you're still a happy person, your life tribe pleasing you. So this is why I say you do something it has to come back you know we have for example, look I've given you examples of perhaps dress code or perhaps you know the sentence on but even you know, behavior that is wrong. Some people they just

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Maybe just for the fun of it, they develop a relationship with someone whom they're not supposed to develop a relationship with.

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for the fun of it, they might not be doing, you know, the ultimate wrong. But still, it's it's already in the wrong path. So now what happens is one thing, another thing, a third thing, and you know, sometimes it becomes a little bit worse. And sometimes even if it doesn't, when that is intercepted by your child,

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he's going to look at you, you might never know that he's seen everything on your phone. You or his mom, you or his dad or her dad, they might never admit to you that you know what that I saw the dirty messages on your phone. The if there are good kids, they suffer in silence, and they have this identity crisis. They come to people like us to say, you know what, this is what I seen my father, we've got to start counseling them in abstention, because we cannot even call you in to say this is what has happened.

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And we don't realize we are failing has been yet for us. It was just a fun. It was just fun. I never really did something wrong. According to me, that's what someone would say. But Allah says, Why do you want to start and open the door in the first place, the damage of it is so severe, we're not speaking about your spouse, having seen something of that nature, we talking about your child. And there are a lot of children who actually get lost, and they start having bad habits because you know, they get mixed signals at home. They don't know whether they're coming or going because mom's mad at me so much. And she reads her Salah, and so on. Oh Dad, this is just an example. But in

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reality, I've seen things that make it very clear to me that she is a hypocrite. If your child says that behind you, believe me, we are failing. We can do better inshallah, by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And this is why today when I was coming here, I told myself, I said, you know, I'm a person, I like to speak to people on their level. And I'm going to say whatever I feel I need, and I'm going to try and motivate myself and yourself to say even if we leave this place, having changed one thing for the you know for good in our lives or for the betterment of ourselves, by the will of Allah we have achieved. We really have and my brothers and sisters remember Allah has placed

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upon our shoulders responsibilities, life is very short. We should be enjoying like I say we are balanced people I will nobody is saying divorce yourself from you know the luxuries of the dunya anything that's nice, you know you're gonna if it's a nice smart pair of shoes then don't even buy it. That's not what Islam says. You can afford it you want to purchase it and handler no problem. You can have the latest of everything but your link with Allah, your straightforwardness, your politeness, your humility, your humbleness, your character, your lines, you need to know where to draw them. You need to know what to do you need to set an example for your family. For your

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children. You need to be a responsible spouse, you know, a lot of men

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Forgive me, I'm about to say something real.

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A lot of men talk about second wives. You notice that guy? Come on, you know, brother, your first marriage isn't hasn't even worked yet. What are you talking about? It's a they say what are you talking? Are you denying assume that we're not denying assuming. But what we are saying is? Why do you want to go into territory where you failed? Imagine a man wants to open the second branch of a shop, the first one of which is already bankrupt.

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Foolish, but he wants to do it. Why? Because

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the guy you know what, like, it happens every time people tell me. What's the ruling? Why haven't you spoken about polygamy? I said, Well, we have but it's not encouraged or discouraged. It's obviously totally, totally connected to the individual. And obviously, they it's not up to me to make a decision for you. Nor is it up to you to make a decision for me permissible, non permissible, that we all know. But whether or not it's feasible for you in your life, like I always say in our quest. Listen carefully. In our quest to have something we want,

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we sometimes lose something we need.

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In our quest to have something we want, we sometimes lose something we need. This is very important. So you don't need this you just wanted but what you need is with you already, you're about to lose all of that. Do you know that so hang on, think properly develop your life in this dunya you will never have every single thing you want. If Allah subhanho wa Taala wants he can give you a few of those items, not everything. And we repeat this every time. So this is a topic people like to talk about what I say develop your relation. If you continue thinking you know what happens? I think a that's I want to get married to this girl or the oh this man or this particular I say for example, a

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man who's married a second wife. And after he gets his second wife, he's so excited since like third wife, okay, he's so excited about fourth wife. After that. He says, Let me flick off one of these and I'll get another one. We have treated we have treated our women like dead

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Sometimes, believe me like dead, like a commodity. That's why such a person can never be content. Because if they haven't worked on something that Allah has placed on their shoulders as a responsibility, how do they expect success in the dunya and the afia, Allah has placed the responsibility on your shoulders you You haven't even fulfilled in your children don't bet they barely see you, they see the bad habits of yours, and so on. And yet we are busy doing all other things, what will be the outcome, how will be the quality of the members of the oma to come when we were responsible, and we did not fulfill those responsibilities. So it's something we ask Allah

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Subhana Allah to Allah to grant us goodness, and to open our doors regarding and we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make us from those who understand that the rules of Islam, the rules of the Sharia, and the discipline that is required in Islam, it is actually there in order to protect us It leads us to the right direction. You know, we have a lot of sisters here. And I want to say something very interesting. You may have heard me say it in the past.

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You visit a sister's house and Mashallah they serve you with some biscuits.

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And you see a beautiful biscuit, you put it in your mouth, and it crunches so beautifully, that you just smile, what happens a typical woman who's a very good housewife will think of her family members, and she will think of the others whom she lives with.

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And she will say wow, this beautiful crunch in this lovely biscuit. I wish my husband could taste this good wife, Mashallah. So now what happens? She says system, can I have the recipe for these biscuits? I'm sure it's happened, isn't it? And Mashallah, you have a good Muslim. You know, nowadays, a lot of the sisters will tell you well, if you want to come home, you know, I'm not giving it it's copyrighted. You know, but a lot of the sisters will say no, no problem. Here's the thing, I'll send it to you, or here it is so on, and they send you a recipe. recipe for what? A crunchy biscuit. Mashallah something that tasted nice. So you want people around you to be happy by

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tasting the same biscuit. You've already tasted it right? So now what do you do? You look at the ingredients, say there's 10 ingredients, then you've got five of them in the house. The other five are not there. What do you do? Oh, just goes around the corner. Let me go. Now you're gone. You bought whatever was needed in the quantities needed. You brought it back, you set aside the time, and you started following what?

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You follow the method. There's a method how to do things. They don't just send you they never ever, the females would know. And some of the males would also know I know. They you never ever just get ingredients, but you told how to put them together. So now we have these ingredients and we need to put them together. What will we do? We follow one by one. And then they'll have a little commentary or summary at the end to tell you that as you do this, you'll notice this as you do this, when this thing rises, then you do this, do not keep on opening that oven or you know, whatever will happen will happen and so on all sorts of things. And we follow it to the tee and we're so happy when we

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see that hey, the result that is shown here is actually what's happening right now. We get so happy so excited, and everything comes out and we worry we make sure that nothing goes wrong until the thing comes out. Beautiful aroma in the home and people come in what's cooking, Mashallah. And then you say have a taste of this. And you're so excited. Why did it work? Because you followed an ingredient completely and correctly and the method sorry, you bought the ingredients and you followed the method completely until right at the end the product came out but in the middle, it might seem for a moment that you know what?

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This biscuit doesn't look like it's gonna come out proper. You might even phoned the sister and said you know what, I'm doing everything but look, she'll tell you hang on. That's just one of the stages. Just bear with me. It will come right but it's definitely not looking right I'm telling you something's wrong. Say No. Don't worry. Take it easy. It will come right just carry on. follow what's written there. And when it comes out you're so happy Mashallah so excited. It is finally come out. Did you hear what I just said? We spoke about biscuits now take that analogy and draw it to your life.

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We would like to achieve Jenna Allah has sent down told us the ingredients and the method we need to follow it to the tee even if we suffer a little bit in between. The final result will be the beautiful aromatic paradise that we've all been told about but the minute we go dilly dallying in the middle, what are we doing our cake flops, our basket goes down I know a person that I know a lot protectors

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mistook

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icing sugar for baking powder.

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You tell me what happened. Brothers might not know to be honest with you. Sometimes in life we do that we must take and it looks more or less the same. I think sugar and baking powder. It's a white powder nice and soon, but those who know they know that

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The two are totally different. And even then, if you look at it carefully, you can tell that this is something else. But in life, we make these big mistakes. And we still expect our cake to come out a while like cake. People taste it and say what this is not even a cake man. Next time, leave it to the experts, Allahu Akbar. So this is why we follow the ingredient, we follow the method, once we have the ingredients, even if we have to go out to make an effort to get some of it.

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And we come back, we put it together, and we wait for the incubation period, meaning for the time that it is required for that to develop and so on. The same applies to our Dean, they will be things we are never ever going to be able to just, you know, sit back and say like this is going to happen without an effort from me, no human effort is required, you need to follow a certain path that is the path taught to us by Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and like I said, and now I will end with this. When we choose a beautiful path, the path that was chosen by Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, we will find that even if there are a few obstacles in the middle, or on the way, the end result will

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always be that has an avid dunya and has an uphill uphill. It will always be the goodness in the dunya. And the goodness in the heart here at the minute we think we know better. And we refuse to adopt what Allah says because we think you know what i this thing is not so important. It's a minor issue. You know, don't worry about it. Like I said, if we do not engage in Toba, perhaps that item will come and visit us sometime down the line. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make us from those who can improve ourselves in the dunya and the brothers and sisters. I've spoken a lot my 45 minutes are up by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala it's really been a pleasure to be here with you this

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afternoon. And Shall I fly off later on this evening and I will be in Nigeria by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala in the next day or two? We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to bless us all like I say,

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we hope and pray that we can smile a little bit more brothers.

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There is a lot of reason to smile sometimes we are so depressed that we just need to smile when I'm very very tired. I just break into a huge smile and my tiredness goes away or the will of Allah. So remember, it is a lot of benefit of fulfilling the sooner of Rasulullah sallallahu I hope and I pray the few words I've said can benefit myself and yourselves

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until we meet again inshallah we say are sallallahu wasallam albaraka. And I mean I'm humbled to analyze the satanic alohomora Hamdi Ganesha Laila islands