Channel: Mufti Menk
Upton Lane London, 20 July 2019
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we praise Allah subhanho wa Taala. We send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his household, his companions, we ask Allah to bless them to bless every one of us and to grant us goodness in this world in the next, my beloved brothers and sisters, don't underestimate the value and the power of do.
Do I can actually get for you something you might have thought was impossible. But there is nothing impossible for Allah. We are about to witness the appreciation of a marriage known as Nika in the Arabic language. And the biggest gift that you and I could give the bride and the groom is actually a doula. More than anything else. It is a dual.
My beloved brothers and sisters, the easiest part of any marriage is its affiliation. It takes a few minutes, and it's done. Generally, it is a happy moment. The most difficult part is after that, where the rights come into play, where you have to live with each other. You've been brought up in absolutely different homes, to the degree that if you were brought up in a similar home or the same home, you would not be allowed to get married, if you are Muslim. If you are brought up with your own sister or your daughter if your daughter grew up in front of you in the same home, obviously, this has a blood relation where nica has prohibited. It is haram in Islam to marry your own system.
But you can marry someone who is distinct from you. And one of the sacrifices that Allah subhanho wa Taala wants you to make is to be able to adjust to be able to fulfill the rights upon the deathbed of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he got up and said something. What did he say? He said, I'm warning you about your treatment of women. That's what he said. I'm warning you about your treatment.
Women, one might ask, Well, sometimes the women treat us badly What about that SubhanAllah. But generally, it is a man who is the one looked up to within the home to be able to lead. It is the man who is looked up to to have those qualities that he can bring the family and steer it to the right direction. So if you were to treat someone in a bad way, what would happen to the home? May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us an understanding, the most difficult part of a marriage is to be able to adjust, to be able to sacrifice to be able to not only develop the trust with one another, but to abstain from that which might cause blemish in the trust. We ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to
grant us ease. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam caught up and he said, I warn you, I'm advising you. I'm reminding you about the good treatment of women.
I know that sometimes
people only talk on one side, they don't speak about the other. But in Islam,
it takes two hands to clap Subhanallah you want something to go right? Both of you have to make an effort. If both don't make an effort, it will go wrong. And if it goes wrong, who is to blame? In actual, in actual fact,
is always to blame. I always say that Allah has given us in a certain way, a gift.
That gift is in the form of the ability to blame shaytan for something you did wrong. So what happens when you have done something wrong? Say in the home, you made a mistake, something went wrong. Even with your brother, your sister, perhaps your spouse, your mother, your father, you know, you did it wrong and something went AWOL. You can embrace them and you can say, you know what, I'm so sorry. It was actually shaped but guess what? They will say yes, I know it's a pan they'll embrace you back and say it's okay, forget about you. What the gift of allies that you can blame shapen for something on condition that you regret, you admit your sin and your fault. May Allah
subhanho wa Taala forgive us and grant us goodness. So we must develop ourselves. We must develop our character. A good happy marriage is based on trust. It's based on sacrifice and communication. But over and above that the relationship with Allah if you look at all the verses that we will recite today, every one of them has mentioned of tequila. Tequila lies the cornerstone of a happy marriage. If your aim is the pleasure of Allah and your spouse's aim is the pleasure of Allah. And you have developed your your character and your conduct what can go wrong in that marriage? May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us goodness. Another very interesting point that is mentioned in the
verses of Nika is the issue of the tongue. To use your tongue in the straight way in the best possible way. Speak properly don't say bad words. hurtful words. Don't cause hurt and abuse. Yeah, I levina mano de la how aku
you believe be conscious of Allah develop the correct relationship with Allah and be careful only after that which is upright, say that which is studied straight. If you watch how you speak and you're conscious of what comes out of your mouth, Allah says he's going to do a few things for you. You slay like Hong Kong, he will make your deeds good, which means he's going to accept your deeds, some of them of Assyrian make mention of how your deeds can get snatched away based on the evil of your time. We just fulfilled Salam. When we say abusive words, we engage in backbiting, deception, that Salah the reward of it went to someone else. But if you want your tongue then that Salah will
remain with you Allah makes the deed good enough. Allah keeps it with you. It's a good deed you slay Amala calm and on top of that, he says, Why are finlaggan Zoo back home and he will forgive your sins, all the minor sins. The minor sins actually get wiped out whenever you engage in the obedience of Allah with the good intention with the correct intention consciously. So if you're uttering good words, knowing that I could have said a bad word, but for the sake of Allah as an ibadah, I'm going to say good words. Allah says you know what your other minuses we wipe them out Palace in Al Hashanah to Jimenez say
your good deeds automatically wipe out the minor sins that you have committed. If there is a major sin you would need special
Toba, but my innocence, sometimes we don't even know we've committed them based on the environment we're living in. So Allah says, What's your tongue it's one of the things you can do to earn the pleasure of Allah to protect your deeds and to forgive, to achieve the forgiveness of the sins. More so, within marriage. 90 or more percent of problems within marriage are connected to the tongue. Remember this, how you speak you have a problem, how you spoke how you dealt with it. With your tongue, you can say good words, or you can get up like a typical person with hot blood and start swearing everyone else and you can get up and make everyone feel the smallest people on earth. That
is an attitude a lot have May Allah subhanho wa Taala make us from among those whose spouses can bear witness that we are the best people because there is a hadith and I end on this note, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam says, Can you come Pharaoh completely v. One. v. It's more of a challenge for us. It's more of a challenge. You know, they have the bucket challenge and this challenge and that challenge, we have the challenge the spouse challenge, what is it? The Hadith says the best from amongst you is the one who is best to his wife,
the one who is best to his own family. That's where charity begins. Charity begins at that point. So if your wife or your spouse can bear witness that you are a good person, and your family can vouch for you, then indeed no matter what the whole dunya says, you're a good person. So Panama, why those who live with you? 24 seven, they watch you they see you at times of happiness and sadness when you're hungry and when you're full. Well you know when things go your way, and they don't they watch you all the time and they say this man is a very, very good man. Trust me. We have a shortage of such men. May Allah make me like that. And all of us like them too. We have a shortage of such men.
This challenge I really I want to take it up myself and I think all of us should as well. May Allah make us from amongst those whose spouses can bear witness that we are the best of people and not that you ask them what do you think of me and she's so scared she says you are the best you have the best. Because there's no other answer. Allah Subhana Allah to Allah grant us all goodness and happiness May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless the couple that are coming together inshallah I will do the hookman and thereafter, I will ask questions which will be self explanatory inshallah and quite clear can go forward, inshallah.