DONATION APPEAL!

ALL our Projects are FREE and with no advertisements.

We serve millions of downloads a month... Now! Imagine earning on-going rewards of every lecture and quran audio and so on.

As well as helping us cover our running costs and future projects!

mufti menk image

"I really think this is one of the greatest causes one could support"

    Become a Patron
    Donate via PayPal

More Information and Options

Family & Community

share this pageShare Page
Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

6 December 2019, Australia

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:03

Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

00:00:07--> 00:00:10

Mashallah the loudest response came from someone here Mashallah.

00:00:12--> 00:00:45

Mashallah Baraka Allah Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah, Allah He was happy as we always praise the maker, the one who made us the Almighty, the nourisher, the cherisher, the Sustainer, the provider, the protector, the cure, the one in whose hands lies every aspect of our existence, and entire existence, we send blessings and salutations upon all the messengers who had come to take us from darkness to show us the light May the almighty grant us the ability to tread upon that light, I mean,

00:00:46--> 00:01:15

and we asked you, the Almighty to bless his companions, his household and every one of us here, Mashallah. And our offspring and humanity at large. My beloved brothers and sisters, I cannot believe that this has become a reality. I remember brother Bashar speaking to me some time back and telling me, I'd like you to be a guest at one of our functions. And I said, inshallah, it will happen, but I'm not too sure when

00:01:16--> 00:01:24

and Mashallah he followed up and we continued until the day came when I'm standing here in front of you in Melbourne, may Allah accept it from us. I mean,

00:01:25--> 00:01:35

I'm very honored to be a guest here this evening. And I feel that the Almighty has granted us the ability to meet. Nothing that happens happens.

00:01:36--> 00:01:36

Without

00:01:38--> 00:01:39

the divine

00:01:40--> 00:01:51

decision of the Almighty. People might think things are coincidental, they may be for us coincidental, but for the Almighty, they're never coincidental.

00:01:52--> 00:02:20

My brothers and sisters, primarily, we realize we were made by the almighty we came into existence. Because the almighty made us he decided that he wants to have us here, we did not decide that none of us chose to be on Earth, not one. None of us chose to be here, for example, to be born, where we were born. None of us chose the parents we have, none of us chose

00:02:22--> 00:02:29

the children that we have, in the case of those who have children. May the almighty bless those who don't have children, with children. I mean,

00:02:30--> 00:02:36

my brothers and sisters, that itself already tells us that we are here on a mission.

00:02:37--> 00:02:39

We're on earth on a mission.

00:02:40--> 00:03:28

Why do I say it tells us this because when you have an examination, your questions are never chosen by you. If they were, it's not an examination, it's always someone else who decides to test you to examine you by asking you things out of his will not out of yours, the examiner is not you. If you were to examine yourself, that's not an examination, the Almighty chose, I'm going to create you, I'm going to put you in a place without your choice. I'm going to throw you into the deep end to see what you do. And part of the blessings of the Almighty is that he did not cause us to grow like trees, but rather to have families and to be given birth to had it not been the fact that we were

00:03:28--> 00:03:39

given birth to perhaps the mercy of the mother would have never been felt it would not be needed. But because for my existence, I depend Yes, on the maker.

00:03:41--> 00:04:33

And after that, I depend on those around me initially to take care of me in such a way that later on. I will understand that I need to take care of others. I hope you get what I'm saying. Let me explain further. When I was born, I came to this world. Had it not been for those around me to take care of me. I would never have survived impossible. I couldn't eat on my own I needed someone. And this is why the almighty creates love automatically for a baby in the hearts of those who have even an iota of mercy. Especially the mother, whose heart is usually normally filled with absolute love to the degree that as the mother gives birth, it's one of the most painful and difficult experiences

00:04:33--> 00:04:37

near death experience in the case of the majority.

00:04:38--> 00:04:54

But once the child is there, the blessing is so great that even though I've been told by sisters No no, no, we don't forget the pain. We know about the pain but we tend to ignore it right? Because before I used to say the pain is forgotten they used to tell me Have you given birth that you know about it?

00:04:57--> 00:04:59

So now I decided I'm not going to say the pain is for

00:05:00--> 00:05:43

Because it might not be but even if it is not forgotten, it was worth it right? It was worth it because you have a child a bundle of joy Mashallah crying and Subhanallah, there is this love, you're so keen on, you know, letting the child suckle or letting the child feed and looking, you know, after the child eat might be stressful, it is stressful, the body has changed tremendously after nine months, suddenly, it's changed during the period of labor. And immediately after that Subhan Allah a lot of change sometimes results in a little bit of difficulty in terms of the mental stress, the physical stress, if you're not supported by an entire unit, it won't be so easy.

00:05:45--> 00:06:04

And this is why a family unit is actually a blessing from the Almighty. Today, the world is drifting away from the family unit and teaching us that you know what, you do it alone, you don't need your mom, you don't need your dad, you don't need your brothers and sisters, you don't need this and so on. And guess what's happening.

00:06:05--> 00:06:50

We're becoming people who are not as content as we used to be. We are becoming people who are searching for contentment, in every place and in everything besides where contentment lies. So the Almighty is created us in a specific way. Do you know why? Like I said, initially, it's because he is the one who chose the test. You have your parents, you know, I get people who complain to me, my parents are very difficult. The first thing that comes to my mind is well that's part of the test of the Almighty, what are you going to do about it so hon Allah and that doesn't mean that I encourage parents to be difficult because it is also a test for you when the Almighty is blessed you with a

00:06:50--> 00:06:58

child, you didn't choose the exact child that you got the almighty blessed you with a child he felt he wanted to give you

00:06:59--> 00:07:22

and so don't be so difficult, my beloved parents remember the world is changing. It's part of your test to be polite, respectful, merciful, full of beautiful guidance, and at the same time realizing that as time passes, you will need to pass the baton to those children.

00:07:24--> 00:07:43

You know, I've always said this and I want to say it again. When a child is born, almost all decisions are made by the parents including the names you have, right? I have a name I did not choose my name. Can I ask you by show of hands who chose his or her own name at birth? Put up your hands

00:07:44--> 00:07:50

at birth Mashallah. You may have chosen it later on, right? But at birth? No, I don't think so. Unless your name is.

00:07:52--> 00:08:15

That was probably the cry that you had. Doesn't sound like English does it? May Allah forgive us? We didn't choose later on some people change their names for whatever reason. I know some who change their names later on. We Almighty's given parents that authority such that all issues are controlled by the parents at a certain stage. When the child

00:08:17--> 00:08:56

wears clothes, those clothes are purchased by the parents, the parents decide what type of clothes they want to buy, right? When the toys are bought, initially, the parents decide the child cannot even speak, you're going to buy this toy, you're going to do it this way and the child is excited, Mashallah let the child grow a little bit older. Guess what happens? The Almighty is showing you that your test is to pass the baton. While the child is under you. You need to inculcate in the child the goodness. If you don't, you're going to lose out because as time passes, the child is no longer going to listen to you. And there will come on stage when the child will probably be

00:08:57--> 00:09:21

disagreeing with you. Is it wrong? It's not wrong to disagree with your parents respectfully, where you feel that they are wrong. Respectfully, you discuss it, but it's wrong to be disrespectful. When the parent speaks about parents, it emphasizes more on kindness and respect, rather than obedience where the parents are wrong

00:09:22--> 00:09:24

if the term obedience is used in the Quran,

00:09:25--> 00:09:36

regarding parents, it's only used when the Almighty says when they're telling you to do something away from that which is correct, then don't obey them.

00:09:38--> 00:09:42

What da da da da to Shri Gabby,

00:09:43--> 00:09:59

Gabby, Fela to para Houma. The Tempah is only used in this verse where Allah saying, don't obey an instruction that is against the command of Allah. If your parent is asking you to do something that Allah doesn't agree with.

00:10:00--> 00:10:02

You excuse yourself but Allah says

00:10:04--> 00:10:05

Subhana Allah,

00:10:07--> 00:10:11

Allah toda Houma, wa hibou Murphy dunia

00:10:13--> 00:11:02

you will still be with them and live with them in goodness, in another place in the Quran in Surah Surah, where Allah subhanho wa Taala says, What meanwhile need any Santa, the Almighty has declared that you will be kind to your parents, you will be kind to your parents, this kindness is not necessarily obedience. So getting back to my point, initially, you have a say, as the child grows older, it will throw away the toys you bought for it and tell you, I don't want this. I want that. Nowadays at the age of two, I think or maybe a little bit earlier, they will fight for your phone. And trust me, they know that the phone you've just given them is a dummy. That's how sharp they are.

00:11:02--> 00:11:30

Right? And they know not only that the phone you've now given them which belongs to you is yes, it's true. They know that it's a genuine phone, they will know that this thing opens with your face, your eyes, your fingers and your passcode. And they will even learn the passcode as small as they are, but they cannot speak English or any language. Isn't that the almighty telling us showing us son of Adam, can I tell you what I learned? I think

00:11:31--> 00:11:45

that the children of today are very sophisticated compared to what we were, you know, I'm a child of yesterday. And some of us seated here might be a child of perhaps the day before that, Mashallah.

00:11:47--> 00:11:59

But it's all it's all good Subhanallah we were learning, what are you learning, the children are becoming sophisticated in being children. So you need to become sophisticated in being parents, you follow what I'm saying?

00:12:00--> 00:12:13

The methods that my parents used to raise me, many of those methods are redundant because they were raising children. For a world that no longer exists, you follow what I'm saying?

00:12:14--> 00:12:54

So therefore, if I were to employ the exact methods, in every sense of the term, I would not be able to raise these children in the correct way. I need to realize that the Almighty is taking this away from me quicker and sooner. You know, back in the day, it went beyond all the way to marriage. I'm sure in some cultures, parents used to say, Oh, my daughter, you know, you're of age, I found a very nice guy for you in Charlotte, you'll be getting married, and the daughter would be your Wow, I'm excited. You know. So Pamela, gone are those days? That's history, the age of the dinosaurs.

00:12:55--> 00:13:40

Right? Today, your child will come to you and say, Dad, I met someone. Right? How do you process that information, the world has changed. At times. Nowadays, our children meet people who they would want to be spouses for themselves, at workplaces or at colleges or elsewhere, who would be better candidates for that particular post than anyone we would ever come across in our day to day lives. And yet, some parents are not prepared to even consider that. Look at how backward we've become. The children are sophisticated. But we are not as sophisticated in the upbringing of those children. So we have a problem with things that are not actually a problem. You follow what I'm saying? People

00:13:40--> 00:13:58

are saying when I'm so scared, you know what we're all in it together. So panela at times, your children nowadays will come up with ideas that are far beyond your imagination, because they're probably within the technological age such then advancements they kept up with and we did not.

00:13:59--> 00:14:01

If you were to ask me

00:14:02--> 00:14:43

how we know each other here, I would tell you a lot of it if not almost all of it is connected to technology, right? So Han Allah and here we are with much love with much Subhan Allah so much of good feeling and so on. Well, ah, he my brothers and sisters, it's our duty to raise these children to become children with values with morals. By watching us from an early age being fair, being balanced, being filled with values morals, when you take care of the orphans and the children when they see that you are participating in the drilling of wells and in building homes or developing development that's happening in the third world or wherever it is needed. When they watch you day

00:14:43--> 00:15:00

and night they will develop that without you even realizing. I give you an example those of us who pray May the almighty make us all from those who pray regularly. If you were to pray, your children at the age of one will come and stand next to you. They will want to be next to you. They will go into suit with you

00:15:00--> 00:15:21

And you couldn't even communicate with them so panela that was because you were seizing the opportunity without communicating of the God given sense of identity of this child and belonging to you to a great degree. So how Allah by fulfilling a duty unto Allah while they were watching, the same applies to our dress code.

00:15:22--> 00:15:58

If mum dresses in a specific way, I'm sure the daughters want to do that at an early age later on. So panela the environment comes in, the schools come in, everything else comes in, and things begin to change. So as you grow older, you decide for your child, which school the child will go to, there comes a time when the child might say, I don't want to go to the school. I don't want to go to the school anymore. tantrums, they will tell you I really don't like this college and sometimes rightly so. They might be bullying, they might be something else at the college or at the school, you might have to take him out to put them where they are comfortable with because ideally, it's not about

00:15:58--> 00:16:09

your A's and B's. It's about success in life. And to be very honest, school plays a little role, but not the entire role. When it comes to success in life.

00:16:11--> 00:16:56

I tell my children, I don't need you to have A's. I just need you to enjoy your time at school in good company. Learn as best as you can. If you've given it your best, I'm happy even if you had to repeat the year twice. No problem. Some of the most successful people are not some of the most intelligent at school. They if I were to ask you how many of us had only A's throughout our school life? A few not everyone? How many of you were first in class all the time at school? Very few. But how many of you are successful business people today or good? You know believers who actually help others and are the greatest of character and conduct within your own system? Because the best from

00:16:56--> 00:17:00

amongst us are those whose spouses bear witness that they are indeed the best.

00:17:02--> 00:17:07

If I were to ask the sister sitting here who are married who from amongst you

00:17:08--> 00:17:11

has the best possible spouse

00:17:13--> 00:17:22

you know, Mashallah the those who have put up their hands Mashallah devarakonda arguably, their husbands are sitting here some kind of

00:17:24--> 00:17:31

some kind of luck. Yeah, but in their absence if they were to bear witness, right, Mashallah, I see one brother actually lifting his wife's hand up.

00:17:34--> 00:17:44

Mashallah, Mashallah. Mashallah, it's a sign of goodness hamdulillah. But the idea here is, you know, ultimately, we are here to make life easy for others,

00:17:45--> 00:17:50

and to serve others. In that way, we will be serving the almighty

00:17:52--> 00:18:21

kind of love of God Makana dupioni. Before I translate that every one of us has issues we have problems, we have hardship, there is not a single person who doesn't have some form of hardship that they're going through. It might the magnitude of it differs, right. But we all have something, some stress, some little difficulty. If it's not about this, it's about that if it's not about that it's about the third thing. How do you expect to be helped when you've never helped others?

00:18:22--> 00:18:25

We're searching for solutions to our problems.

00:18:26--> 00:18:35

But we've never looked at what the Almighty says he says, if you want to solve your problem, look for others with similar problems, help them and you will be helped. How's that?

00:18:36--> 00:18:41

How's that? So panela if you want to be helped help others.

00:18:42--> 00:19:12

The Hadith I mentioned, the Almighty tells us to the blessing glyphs of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that Allah Almighty continues to be in the assistance of those who continue to assist others. If you're busy helping another the Almighty is busy helping you. But many of us don't realize that. And sometimes I remember one young man come to me. Four days after I delivered the talk. He told me, I've been helping someone else for four days. And still the almighty hasn't helped me.

00:19:13--> 00:19:27

I'm like, gosh, you know what you're about 20 something years old. And now suddenly, four days ago, you changed your life a bit and you expect the almighty to just come in throw everything at you. It's a dedication, slowly but surely the doors will begin to open you know,

00:19:28--> 00:19:44

the doors will begin to open. It's like a brother who was told that you know, when you give a penny in charity, the Almighty multiplies it a minimum of 700 fold. When you give a penny in charity, you to donate

00:19:45--> 00:19:59

the almighty multiplies it 700 fold. So he gave and then he comes back and says you know what, he hasn't yet multiplied it. It's not yet here. It's not some cryptocurrency that suddenly going to shoot you know

00:20:00--> 00:20:43

Subhan Allah, it actually is the blessing within your life, the blessing, the Baraka, the contentment, and over and above that, on the day of judgment, when you see the reward of it, it's tremendous. It's great. You will never regret it, man. I don't mean Santa, you know, charities have never depleted wealth, nobody's wealth has ever disappeared, because they gave a charity. If anything, the Almighty will make sure that if your intention was correct, when you gave the charity, you will never become bankrupt. You know why? Say for example, and I'm going to tell you something very interesting. I know, you may donate even after I speak, it's not that the fundraiser is over.

00:20:43--> 00:20:48

So you don't donate? No, you may donate even while I'm speaking or after I've spoken. Listen to this.

00:20:49--> 00:21:06

If I decide these 10 orphans, I'm going to sponsor them for as long as I can. And so I'm spending, for example, for these 10 orphans, say 1000 US dollars a month, I'm just giving you an example. What has happened here,

00:21:07--> 00:21:39

I have given someone from what the Almighty has given me and because I've decided it's going to happen regularly. The Almighty has written their sustenance somewhere within mine, so I have to get it to give them so for them, the Almighty has to give me Subhana Allah, you follow what I'm saying? The Almighty has to give me why because other people sustenance, I've already decided within my heart and giving them so the Almighty will say okay, we're going to keep on giving you You know why? Because we've actually written it for them. You follow what I'm saying?

00:21:40--> 00:22:17

And that is why I want to back myself with evidence. A man comes to the messenger peace be upon him complaining about his brother. You know, we have in our families, we have brothers and so on, the wives come in Mashallah. All of them are lovely, but you must remember, each one has had a different upbringing. If brother and sister cannot see eye to eye What do you expect when the in laws come in and so many To this day, no one has ever succeeded in explaining to me why the term law has to come in when you get married? No one. Why do they say in laws, you know, why did they say in loves, you know?

00:22:19--> 00:22:27

I thought maybe it might be an Indian accent, you know, when they say they are in love, you know? So, may Allah subhanahu wa Jalla grant us ease.

00:22:28--> 00:23:05

But they are known as in laws, right? Why the law? I mean, where did the law come in? Subhana Allah, why all suddenly we becoming so legal? May Allah forgive us. Anyway, let's go back to the point. So the brother comes, and he says, oh, messenger, my brother's doing nothing I'm spending on him, I'm giving him money. I'm giving him his monthly expense. And I'm actually taking care of him. And now I'm tired of this. And I don't know how long this is going to carry on and so on. Doesn't this happen in some of our families, I mean, you know, in the extended families, we taking care of one of the guys and you know, he happens to be a person who's struggling with a job struggling with

00:23:05--> 00:23:41

something, and we just giving them and sometimes in some homes, the wife comes in, and she says, Hey, are you gonna keep on giving this guy, you know, some kind of law? And that's where the brother has to chip in and say, hey, that's my brother, leave me alone. She might argue and say, Well, you know, 50% of everything you have, you know, is arguably mine. So Pamela, so I have a 50% say, you can tell her, okay, I'm going to increase it by two and then divided by two, which means it's the same figure. But my sisters, my brothers, it does happen that we tend to get irritated even on our own sometimes.

00:23:42--> 00:23:52

Do you know what? The professor seldom responded to this man? Guess what he said? powerful words. lockerby tussock.

00:23:53--> 00:24:10

Perhaps you're getting money because you're spending on him. Laila? Perhaps it's because of him that your risk is coming in. That's why I told you what I told you moments ago, you're giving the orphans you decided I'm going to give them Allah, Allah is gonna give you because of them. You follow my point?

00:24:11--> 00:24:15

So don't hold back, give inshallah. And if

00:24:18--> 00:24:26

you spend no son of Adam, and you know what it will be spent upon you, you will receive indeed, may the almighty bless all of us.

00:24:27--> 00:24:37

That having been said, if you have the last $1,000 in your pocket, you don't just take it and say right, here's 1000 Let me borrow another 10 and give it because you know, I'm investing here and it's going to come.

00:24:38--> 00:24:45

Allah subhanho wa Taala warns us about spending in a foolish way even if it is a charity.

00:24:47--> 00:24:52

While I attach Alia de karma Hulu Latin Isla okeke Allah.

00:24:55--> 00:24:57

Allah tells us you know don't be miserly

00:24:59--> 00:24:59

and don't eat

00:25:00--> 00:25:03

give so much that you're giving necessity, that's yours.

00:25:05--> 00:25:09

You need to strike a middle path. May Allah subhanho wa Taala. Grant us goodness,

00:25:11--> 00:25:12

getting back to our children.

00:25:13--> 00:25:38

And this is in honor of the woman, I promise you, the women have given birth to us. And the times we don't acknowledge their status, when the Koran speaks about it right at the beginning of Salatu Nyssa, Allah tells us to be mindful of the wounds that gave birth to you. And the deeper translation includes all women, be mindful of your relationship, how you treat them, how you talk to them, how you address them, etc.

00:25:40--> 00:25:42

So as the children grow older,

00:25:44--> 00:25:54

they make decisions themselves, it becomes very difficult for us to let go, a child is married, what should happen with that child?

00:25:55--> 00:26:29

Some of us when we were married, we have nobody instruct us what to do and how to live. But we want to instruct our children up to the age of 30 4050. Sometimes, if the father is alive, he says, Listen, you can't do this. You can't do that. And and the guy is fearing any way it is. When are you going to live your life? When is your wife going to live her life? When are you going to have your own life? You need to respect Yes, your parents but you need to understand both sides that as much as there is respect, there is also an element of letting go of things.

00:26:30--> 00:27:16

You need to let go of your children at a time. But you need to have given them the baton. Many of us are scared to let go because we haven't yet given them the baton. We haven't yet shown them how to live. We haven't shown them things. We're too frightened. Perhaps they're not on there to feed my brothers and sisters. Let's learn to take care of one another. Let's learn to take care of one another if we were to look at society, and community like I said right at the beginning, the Almighty created us in a family the family is supposed to be sacred. That is why there is a lot of emphasis given in Islam and in the Quran, about the reward of resolving matters of dispute within

00:27:16--> 00:27:17

the families.

00:27:18--> 00:28:07

Subhana Allah to resolve matters within families, there is great importance and reward given to it that will Korba those who are related to you, it's not a joke. It's the Almighty's test, it's part of it, you need to resolve matters. And to resolve matters, you need to be easygoing, you cannot be very stubborn on your own decisions, especially for others. stubbornness results in huge splits within family, you do your thing, you can encourage others to do their things. But you should not impose your view on the rest of the family when they are not comfortable with it or they disagree with you. So panela, many of us say, you know these people, they're very bad, but who's the bad

00:28:07--> 00:28:49

person, I've had cases where I've been called into arbitrate. And unfortunately, or fortunately, after listening to both sides, I felt that the people who called me to arbitrate, we're actually the ones who are the problem. And then they say, You're supposed to be on our side, we call you, you know, and then I tell them, I am on your side. That's why I'm telling you that I think you're wrong. It's about time you corrected yourself. It's not about being on someone side. It's about empowering people with that, which is just, it's fair, you need to change your mindset. Because like I said, technology is progressing in leaps and bounds. And we're still struggling with small matters. We

00:28:49--> 00:29:11

haven't liberated the mind to the degree that we can keep up with technology and we can keep up with the changing world. We are losing generations simply because we are so backward sometimes, you know, thinking so backwards so far. May Allah grant us the ability to understand it's difficult. I know each one of us has an idea in our minds, but that doesn't happen.

00:29:12--> 00:29:24

How do I solve this I try your best to maintain the family unit, then try your best to maintain the relationship within the community to a certain extent.

00:29:26--> 00:30:00

Take part and participate in community events. I'm so impressed about us tonight, participating in this community event. It goes to show that we are still alive We care Mashallah, you know, when you see a fundraiser for example, people who are raising funds for some needy cause and you see communities giving even if it is $1 $5 $20 to 1000 200,000 Subhanallah it really brings comfort to us to know that yes, they are from amongst us those who care Mashallah. And it doesn't mean those who may not

00:30:00--> 00:30:43

have given don't care, they care perhaps in a different way, or Subhanallah they may have already given or they may be planning to give. But remember when you give you've actually contributed to, to empowering community. And when that happens, you feel like living. You feel it's worthwhile living, you know, the older generation who are not used to sitting on their mobile phones with all these e friends. You know, these are e friends. They don't really exist. E friends, I remember someone telling me that you know what, I, I found a girl. This is a true story, right? He says, I found a girl I said, where he says, Oh, she's from a country. Let me not say the country, right? I said, Oh,

00:30:43--> 00:31:12

that's interesting. So what's the plan? He says, I think, um, I like her. And I think I'm I you know, I'm I want to take it to another level. Meaning I want to perhaps consider getting married. I said, Oh, well, good luck to you. You better make sure that you know, everything's okay. No beautiful, everything's good. Wow, guess what, a few months later, the guy comes to me. And he says, I found out it's a 70 year old man living in the US and Panama, who was conning me all along that he's an 18 year old girl.

00:31:13--> 00:31:18

I said, Well, how far did the relationship go? He says, an embarrassing level.

00:31:20--> 00:31:48

Allah forgive us so much for your E friends, Mashallah so much for your friends. You know, the older generations, let me tell you about them. The older generations, they would love just sitting and you know, having tea with their friends, and so on calling them over in the weekend, sometimes in the evenings. And they would sit and they would discuss matters, sometimes some of these matters never really meant so much. But they enjoyed it. Because when one was in need, the entire community came right.

00:31:49--> 00:31:50

Today when you're in need,

00:31:51--> 00:32:22

we've become such that we don't even want community because when they come perhaps they will have so much or an agenda or whatever else or they haven't even been there or they've been there in a negative way. Sometimes we don't want people to come and help because of how people have treated us. And sometimes we don't want to go and help because of how we've looked at community and society in a negative way. So I'm here tonight, to tell you, let's revive this, let's let's develop a relationship with communities. You know, I am a part of

00:32:23--> 00:32:26

an organization that brings together a lot of people.

00:32:27--> 00:33:04

And I remember addressing them and I said, if you want everyone to remain in this organization, don't impose on people what to do and what not to do suggest to them, and see who wants to come up and listen to suggestions and try and see who wants to adopt those suggestions. Because Gone are the days when you have one person dictating the pace and the rest follow nowadays, they will question it, no, I don't want to do this, I'm not comfortable with this. If they're not comfortable, leave them out. If you're not going to leave them out, they are going to be a bad egg within that. And it's going to spoil everything. So rather thank them for staying away, then to come in and spoil

00:33:04--> 00:33:18

things. And if they wanted to do something else, let it happen. But if we're not going to be involved in communities, what's going to happen to our children, if we're not going to go out and play sports and participate? What's going to happen to our generations?

00:33:19--> 00:33:49

If we're not going to reach out where people are in need right now there are the fires in Sydney, and I'm sure so many other things that are happening. Right, right, in our midst around us. Have we really cared for these people? Do we care for them? Sometimes we have a barrier, what's the barrier, if this person is not my race, I'm not going to help them. That's one barrier. If this person is not my religion, I'm not going to help them. That's another barrier. If this person doesn't listen to me, after I help them, I'm not going to help them next time.

00:33:51--> 00:34:29

When you give, are you giving so that you can control if that's the case, it was not giving, it was not donating? It was just an investment for you to get back something give without wanting anything besides the reward from the Almighty and the goodness that comes with it. From the Almighty and the encouragement. People say, you know what, when we have a fundraising dinner in public, it's not so easy for me to put up my hand and say, I'm donating 20,000 100,000 and I tell them well, I tell you, there is a positive side to it because you're encouraging others and you should be encouraging to say Listen, if that man could give so much Let me also give it happened at the time of the Prophet

00:34:29--> 00:34:31

peace be upon him. So we give

00:34:32--> 00:34:39

together with giving there is one quality that we definitely need to remember. Don't ignore it. What is it?

00:34:40--> 00:34:50

humbleness, humility, development of your character, your conduct. What's the point of giving with arrogance? No one wants that arrogance. I remember seeing with these two eyes,

00:34:52--> 00:34:57

a brother at the streetlight in one of the countries seeing a beggar who was begging

00:34:59--> 00:34:59

and he threw some

00:35:00--> 00:35:08

coins at the beggar. And this beggar just left the coins. And I asked him, Why did you leave these coins? Their coins on the floor? The beggar says,

00:35:10--> 00:35:12

I don't take money that's thrown at me.

00:35:14--> 00:35:17

If it doesn't come with respect, I don't need it.

00:35:18--> 00:35:18

Why?

00:35:21--> 00:35:22

enough Allah?

00:35:24--> 00:35:42

Allah says, You know what? The one who's asking you, the one who was begging the one, don't rebuke him. No, don't review. Don't belittle, don't despise. You know what it could be the other way around, it could have been the other way around. don't despise if you don't want to give, go away, say a little prayer. Sometimes we have people.

00:35:44--> 00:36:00

And I've been told you know what don't give here, because this is a syndicate, perhaps you know, these people are a fraud, they have a large group of people that are begging they earn more money than the wealthy in the city. And I say my brother, if you don't want to give, don't give, what if they're genuine, and you've just spoken a lot of lies.

00:36:01--> 00:36:06

Imagine, keep quiet, perhaps don't give off, call them out, empower them.

00:36:09--> 00:36:19

So Han Allah, were quick to say negative things, not positive things. When someone does good, we think bad. When someone does bad, we think even worse.

00:36:20--> 00:36:33

And this is where we're failing. Sometimes. My brothers and sisters, when we have taken care of communities that we live in, we make living in those communities worthwhile. I visited a certain part of Johannesburg.

00:36:34--> 00:37:15

And I met the people who live there, a few families in a certain area. And I loved it so much, because they were such loving kind people, they all got along with each other, they were looking after each other, they were Subhanallah To this day, they support a lot of community activities amongst them. And I said to myself, this is a community worth emulating. It makes it worthwhile. You meet people, you talk to people you love them, your children come out with you take them in a nice way. So you get to meet each other at functions and so on. Children may end up getting married because you always took them to functions and to families, they get to know who your kids are today,

00:37:15--> 00:37:41

if you were to ask me, I don't even know the children in my own community sometimes. How are we supposed to get them married? The guy says, You know what, if you travel a lot, you meet a lot of people, please remember, I've got three daughters? What you've got three daughters. Wow. Did you ask them that? Did you ask them that you are going to ask me to find spouses for them? You know, I might just get you a brother. And they might you might just say what did you do? You know.

00:37:43--> 00:37:52

But if you were to involve them in the community slightly, perhaps, and people were to know they exist in the first place, it might have made your task a little bit easier.

00:37:53--> 00:38:32

We don't do that. We don't want to interact, no mixing, no nothing. And sometimes we use evidence to say you know what community is so difficult. I don't want to meet with them. I'd rather be at home. I know. I also like it on my own, but I have to push myself to get up and participate. You know why? Because the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him says the one who participates in the community. And bears patience regarding some of the negatives that come in their direction is better than the one who stays on his own and pulls back and doesn't bear any patience. So they will be issues. That's part of your challenge. Be the best possible person may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us all ease.

00:38:32--> 00:38:39

May Allah subhanahu wa taala open our doors. Really My beloved brothers and sisters, we are at an age where

00:38:40--> 00:38:48

brothers work and sisters work as well. It's not like a long time ago where the brothers used to work and the sisters used to stay at home.

00:38:49--> 00:39:04

A lot of the times we have both spouses working and that adds a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure to the responsibilities that we have. We need to share these responsibilities. We need to be people

00:39:06--> 00:39:07

who no longer

00:39:08--> 00:39:27

point at you should be doing this and I should be doing that. You know what, we should be doing this we're a family, we're together, you help me and I will help you. You do whatever you can I will do whatever I can. That's how it should be. And this is how our community will progress. Mashallah, when I sit and I look at the Quran,

00:39:28--> 00:39:31

one of the stories that really really inspires me.

00:39:33--> 00:39:51

In fact, I can throw more than 100 lessons from the story is something very, very simple in Surah Al casas is where the story of Musa alayhis salaam Moses May peace beyond him is mentioned in a little bit of detail when he went to Meridian,

00:39:52--> 00:39:54

and he saw these women

00:39:55--> 00:39:59

working very hard. They had taken the sheep

00:40:01--> 00:40:42

And they were going to the water to quench the thirst of the sheep. And he went out to help them. That's just the beginning of that story, right? There is a lot to learn from that. Look at how they assume the responsibility, look at how they worked, but it was respectful. Look at how there was honor and respect amongst the people. Here comes a man, a total stranger to them complete stranger, offering help to whom, to those whom he doesn't even know. You follow what I'm saying? He doesn't even know them. He's offering help in a very respectful way. Look at that community development. He has a brother from amongst us, would you ever go to to strange women

00:40:43--> 00:40:50

in a very respectable way with no agendas? Because I know one of the youngsters said, Yes, I would go if they were pretty enough.

00:40:52--> 00:40:57

But no, you have to go no matter what weather no matter who they are, how old they are.

00:40:59--> 00:41:06

There is an example that people give up, you know, and I've said this before, if there is a motor vehicle on the road,

00:41:08--> 00:41:38

that has a tire that is flat that requires changing. I promise you, if there is an elderly lady that's out there, you know, half, you know bent, asking for help. Only the genuine will stop. So Pamela, they will help the mother and they will thank her and make her feel so good. And you know, make sure she's safe. And she's okay and exchanged numbers, no harm. Why? Because you want to make sure she's gotten home, you want to make sure everything is okay and whatnot.

00:41:39--> 00:41:47

That is far more rewarding than anything else, because you have no agenda. But trust me, the military is someone who walks out of there.

00:41:50--> 00:42:00

The boys out there will fight to change the tire. I promise you they might even swap the whole car, depending on what they have. You know, I have a Lamborghini here. Would you like to take it? No.

00:42:02--> 00:42:26

What has happened to community? What's happened to society? I'm not saying dude, help those who? Who might be you know, young and so gorgeous. No, you help them as well. But check your heart. What are you doing it for? Subhana Allah, you're supposed to be helping community and society at large. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us goodness, may Allah bless us, you know, I, my time is actually up. But

00:42:27--> 00:42:29

I want to tell you, my brothers and sisters,

00:42:30--> 00:42:59

when we talk of divine legacy, community building, when we talk of unity, unity does not come with uniformity. We mistaken it a lot of the times we think and we believe we cannot be united because this guy is a hanafy this guy is a sharpie. That guy belongs to a different faith this guy might be whatever else we can be united with our differences in faith with our differences in race with our differences, even in ideas. Only by being tolerant and respectful of one another.

00:43:01--> 00:43:04

It's to respect one another. I will never think the same.

00:43:06--> 00:43:31

You know when we see everyone walking around the Kaaba in our, you know what I'm talking about the circumambulation of the Kaaba. People say Mashallah, look at how many millions of Muslims are at Hajj, all united and embassy thinking they're not united in their hearts, they hate one another. I promise you look at them standing in one sub in Salah Allah He their hearts are jaggard they would not even greet each other.

00:43:32--> 00:44:10

Am I right? It's happening right? So hon Allah we too embarrassed to say yes, it is happening in our midst. To sit together is not unity. To eat together is not unity, to pray together is not unity. To do tawaf together is not unity to go on holiday together is not unity. You could be the most disunited people all in Makkah. At the same time, you could be the most disunited people all in the machine at once. You could be people who hate each other all at one function at once. I promise you unity comes from the heart when you learn to love and respect each other with the differences. And you learn to tolerate. In fact, beyond the tolerances respect, that's when you will be united my

00:44:10--> 00:44:56

brother, you're a different nationality, a different cast a different faith, a different whatever. You know what, there is unity here, because each one of us is trying to help the other. Even if I disagree with you, I may discuss the disagreement in a respectful way. But I don't need to start attacking belittling, speaking ill about and creating extra and unnecessary divides between us. May Allah grant us true unity. It's not impossible. It's very possible to be united to care for one another. We can be united as citizens of this land. If we care for one another. When some natural disaster happens, then we tend to all unite why there is a cause. And we're all being affected by

00:44:56--> 00:45:00

it. So therefore we're all here and we're all going to help you

00:45:01--> 00:45:34

Nobody cares what religion you are, nobody cares, anything, some kind of law. They just want to make sure people are safe. People are okay. There is a disaster here let's help. That's what unity is all about. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us goodness and unity and May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless every one of us, I hope. I've encouraged myself and yourselves to be active members within our families to be a positive force within community and to reach out broader beyond the communities in Sharla to humanity at large. May Allah bless you all akuto kolyada masala cinema Baraka, Allah, Allah