Marriage #01
Date:
Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig
File Size: 11.88MB
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AI Generated Summary ©
The importance of marriage in Islam is highlighted, including finding a partner who is a good husband and has a strong faithfulness to their spouse. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of trust and faith in marriage, avoiding negative feedback and staying true to one's words. tension and fear are magnified by tension, but relationships are crucial for a successful marriage. faithfulness is crucial to a good marriage, and avoiding negative feedback and staying true to one's words is emphasized.Transcript ©
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My brothers and sisters, on the subject of
marriage,
Allah considered it to be so important that
Allah reveal Quran about the marriage
in which he mentioned
the quality, the ideal quality of a successful
marriage.
In Suratulullah,
Allah called
marriage one of his signs.
From among his signs, from among the signs
of Allah
is that he has created
for
for you mates from among yourselves.
He has created for you from within yourselves
mates
for what
so that you may find with them, so
that you may find tranquility and peace and
harmony and happiness and comfort with them.
And he has placed
between you
love,
and mercy.
Verily in this,
there are signs for people of the,
for people who
think, for people who reflect.
My brothers and sisters, I
want to say to you very sincerely,
and I'm speaking especially
to those who are wanting to get married
or seeking to get married.
And there's a lot of anxiety.
Right?
Especially among the youth to get
married.
This is a sunnah of Rasool Allah
It is probably
the most important decision that you will ever
take in your life.
And even if it is not the most
important, it's definitely one of the top one
or top 2 or 3
most important decisions that you will ever take
in your life, and that is the decision
of who to marry.
So
make sure that that decision
becomes a means
of and for you
because
as said in Ali,
said
when they asked him,
what is,
the most beautiful thing,
in this life? He said,
he said a pious woman, meaning a wife
who is pious,
who is pious, who is who is good,
who is, you know, a good wife.
And, of course, all of these things, they
apply both ways. Meaning, for the for the
woman, the best thing in her life is
a is a pious, is a good husband.
So it is something which can be
a heaven
agenda in this dunya
or conversely,
and may Allah have mercy
on the people. I have seen both,
among people in my life. It can also
be a jahannam in this life.
The interesting part is that whether it is
jannah or jannah is completely and totally in
our own hands.
So it makes absolutely
great sense, wonderful sense to ensure that we
live our lives in a way with our
spouses
where
to be with your spouse
is Jannah
in this life.
Now what must we do? The best advice
is the advice of the Quran and Allah
told
us very clearly, very specifically about that. Allah
said
that he created this marriage and he gave
us 3 wonderful,
pointers. Number 1, he said, so
that you may have.
Now even if you take in the if
you look at the language in the,
in Arabic and Urdu and so on, we
have,
and
then we have Jasam. In Arabic, you have
and you have Sukhoor.
So
or is
the is the is the is the is
the sign,
on the letter which shows that this letter
is not moving.
There is no movement in the letter. It's
not saying a, I, u. It is as
it is, by itself in the same place,
in peace, in harmony.
This is the first quality of our marriage.
The first quality of our marriage is that
there is harmony in the home.
Sukoon with respect to the spouses, for the
spouses,
your spouse, your husband, your wife
is this is the sole,
object
of your attention.
Your eyes, your ears, your hands, your feet,
your love, your heart,
your mind does not travel to anyone other
than this individual.
So this complete and total
faithfulness,
not only in terms of any relationship but
also in terms of the heart,
Faithfulness to the spouse
is very, very important and a a very
critical element of a good marriage,
and it is part of
the requirement of a good marriage in Islam,
number 1. Number 2,
part of this faithfulness also is,
to make sure
that the home is a pay is a
place of harmony,
a place of sukoor, a place where a
person finds rest.
It's very important to remember this because
the home is somewhere
where
between the relationship of the spouses, between the
husband and the wife, there is really there
are no defenses.
Right? A relationship,
a marriage in which there are defenses
between the husband and the wife where they
have to watch what they say.
They have to watch what they, you know,
do with each other. This is horrible because
it shows that there is no trust. Right?
There's no trust. I have to watch it
because if I don't, I'll be I'll get
caught.
So what happens in some marriages, well, I
have mercy on those people.
Is they treat the home, the married home,
like it's some kind of boxing ring. Right?
Somebody is winning. Somebody is losing.
And, there is always this, tension between the
spouses. This is an absolutely awful thing. Right?
So don't make it like that. Make sure
that your home is your home. It's not
a boxing ring. So make sure that your
home is something where
there is this,
there is this harmony. There's,
you know,
complete understanding,
between the spouse.
Think about it also that
both the husband and the wife, you know,
you come home,
from
wherever you are working, for example. Right? So,
usually, in our jobs and so on today,
we have,
tension and and and,
you know, office politics and whatever else is
almost a norm. And may Allah forgive us
and and help us to create
workplaces also which are full of, but that's
not the case.
Usually, workplaces are full of tension. Now if
the home also is like that, then it's
like a ship that comes
in having weathered storms and and, you know,
having been battered by the winds and the
and the currents and so on in the
ocean, he comes home to find that there
is a storm in the in the harbor.
There's some in the port. Now how horrible
is that? Right? So where does he go?
Another thing which I mentioned was that in
a beautiful relationship, the husband and the wife,
there are and there should be no defenses.
There should be no
barrier. There should be complete and total trust
and faith where the both the husband and
the wife, they have total faith and trust
in each other.
They don't have to play games with each
other. They don't have to watch what they
say, what they do,
because of this trust between one another. Now
in that, the the other side of it,
I mean, I want to downside, but the
other side of that trust is that when
there is no,
barrier, when there is no
defense,
it means also that it hurts more. Right?
So the same thing, for example, if a
stranger says something to you,
it will hurt less than if your wife
or your husband says the same thing to
you. So this is something which is very
important to remember that,
we should never
intentionally or unintentionally,
cause pain and suffering to the one you
are supposed to love. Allah said he created
you and he created Allah said this that
this is a one of his signs that
he created you like this as companions to
each other. And if you use that as
a means of,
of hurting one another, how awful is that?
Right? But and as I said, the hurt
is more because there is no defense against
it.
The hurt is more because this is a
this is a place where you want to
be yourself without having
to, to pretend to be anything else. Right?
Our whole life is full of. May I
forgive us? But,
in your marriage, you don't want it to
be like that. You want it to be
to you want to be free,
from this tension. So
marriage is a place of trust.
So make sure that you,
you respect that, and you do not violate
that trust, and let the marriage be a
place
of.
One of the most important elements
of this, and I'll come to that in
the next kathira on on this subject. We'll
we'll do one for each of these words,
is to understand that this
this trust
is such a critical element of a successful
marriage.
A successful marriage is where the spouses can
trust each other. And the trust is that
I can afford to be myself
without any barriers, without any
defenses
and remain unhurt.
I don't have to fear,
that psychologically, I will be bashed up,
if
I, within quotes, show my true colors. I
don't I mean, the true colors in a
very positive sense. I don't mean that in
a negative sense. But I'm saying that this
is the now,
many times, this kind of hurting happens unintentionally
because the person might say, you know, I
I I only tried to,
be good to you. I'm saying this to
you. I'm criticizing you or not, because I
want the best for you. But remember, you
may want the best, but it may not
come come across as the best. Right?
So therefore, softness
more than hardness,
definitely no harshness anywhere.
Making sure that,
the person is,
you know, is is able to,
stick whatever you have to say to them,
making sure that you are not expressing
in the name of, of giving feedback. It
is not another way of showing aggression. It's
not another way of showing your anger
and irritation. All of this,
the right? We don't have time now to
go into all the detail, but just to
give it to to just so that, you
know, I I want to put some pointers,
so you keep that in mind that,
these are very important elements to make sure
that the marriage remains,
a play the the married home,
marriage home remains a place of of harmony
and not doesn't become a place of,
tension.
We ask Allah to help us to,
to
make our homes into,
into into places of,
for ourselves and for others.
for ourselves and for others.