Mirza Yawar Baig – Marriage #01

Mirza Yawar Baig
AI: Summary © The importance of marriage in Islam is highlighted, including finding a partner who is a good husband and has a strong faithfulness to their spouse. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of trust and faith in marriage, avoiding negative feedback and staying true to one's words. tension and fear are magnified by tension, but relationships are crucial for a successful marriage. faithfulness is crucial to a good marriage, and avoiding negative feedback and staying true to one's words is emphasized.
AI: Transcript ©
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My brothers and sisters, on the subject of

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marriage,

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Allah considered it to be so important that

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Allah reveal Quran about the marriage

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in which he mentioned

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the quality, the ideal quality of a successful

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marriage.

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In Suratulullah,

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Allah called

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marriage one of his signs.

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From among his signs, from among the signs

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of Allah

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is that he has created

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for

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for you mates from among yourselves.

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He has created for you from within yourselves

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mates

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for what

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so that you may find with them, so

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that you may find tranquility and peace and

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harmony and happiness and comfort with them.

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And he has placed

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between you

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love,

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and mercy.

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Verily in this,

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there are signs for people of the,

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for people who

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think, for people who reflect.

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My brothers and sisters, I

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want to say to you very sincerely,

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and I'm speaking especially

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to those who are wanting to get married

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or seeking to get married.

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And there's a lot of anxiety.

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Right?

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Especially among the youth to get

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married.

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This is a sunnah of Rasool Allah

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It is probably

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the most important decision that you will ever

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take in your life.

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And even if it is not the most

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important, it's definitely one of the top one

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or top 2 or 3

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most important decisions that you will ever take

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in your life, and that is the decision

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of who to marry.

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So

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make sure that that decision

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becomes a means

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of and for you

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because

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as said in Ali,

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said

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when they asked him,

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what is,

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the most beautiful thing,

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in this life? He said,

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he said a pious woman, meaning a wife

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who is pious,

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who is pious, who is who is good,

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who is, you know, a good wife.

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And, of course, all of these things, they

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apply both ways. Meaning, for the for the

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woman, the best thing in her life is

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a is a pious, is a good husband.

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So it is something which can be

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a heaven

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agenda in this dunya

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or conversely,

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and may Allah have mercy

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on the people. I have seen both,

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among people in my life. It can also

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be a jahannam in this life.

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The interesting part is that whether it is

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jannah or jannah is completely and totally in

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our own hands.

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So it makes absolutely

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great sense, wonderful sense to ensure that we

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live our lives in a way with our

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spouses

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where

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to be with your spouse

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is Jannah

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in this life.

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Now what must we do? The best advice

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is the advice of the Quran and Allah

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told

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us very clearly, very specifically about that. Allah

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said

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that he created this marriage and he gave

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us 3 wonderful,

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pointers. Number 1, he said, so

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that you may have.

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Now even if you take in the if

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you look at the language in the,

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in Arabic and Urdu and so on, we

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have,

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and

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then we have Jasam. In Arabic, you have

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and you have Sukhoor.

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So

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or is

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the is the is the is the is

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the sign,

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on the letter which shows that this letter

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is not moving.

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There is no movement in the letter. It's

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not saying a, I, u. It is as

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it is, by itself in the same place,

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in peace, in harmony.

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This is the first quality of our marriage.

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The first quality of our marriage is that

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there is harmony in the home.

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Sukoon with respect to the spouses, for the

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spouses,

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your spouse, your husband, your wife

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is this is the sole,

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object

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of your attention.

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Your eyes, your ears, your hands, your feet,

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your love, your heart,

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your mind does not travel to anyone other

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than this individual.

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So this complete and total

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faithfulness,

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not only in terms of any relationship but

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also in terms of the heart,

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Faithfulness to the spouse

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is very, very important and a a very

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critical element of a good marriage,

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and it is part of

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the requirement of a good marriage in Islam,

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number 1. Number 2,

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part of this faithfulness also is,

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to make sure

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that the home is a pay is a

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place of harmony,

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a place of sukoor, a place where a

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person finds rest.

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It's very important to remember this because

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the home is somewhere

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where

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between the relationship of the spouses, between the

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husband and the wife, there is really there

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are no defenses.

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Right? A relationship,

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a marriage in which there are defenses

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between the husband and the wife where they

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have to watch what they say.

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They have to watch what they, you know,

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do with each other. This is horrible because

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it shows that there is no trust. Right?

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There's no trust. I have to watch it

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because if I don't, I'll be I'll get

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caught.

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So what happens in some marriages, well, I

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have mercy on those people.

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Is they treat the home, the married home,

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like it's some kind of boxing ring. Right?

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Somebody is winning. Somebody is losing.

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And, there is always this, tension between the

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spouses. This is an absolutely awful thing. Right?

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So don't make it like that. Make sure

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that your home is your home. It's not

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a boxing ring. So make sure that your

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home is something where

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there is this,

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there is this harmony. There's,

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you know,

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complete understanding,

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between the spouse.

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Think about it also that

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both the husband and the wife, you know,

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you come home,

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from

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wherever you are working, for example. Right? So,

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usually, in our jobs and so on today,

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we have,

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tension and and and,

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you know, office politics and whatever else is

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almost a norm. And may Allah forgive us

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and and help us to create

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workplaces also which are full of, but that's

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not the case.

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Usually, workplaces are full of tension. Now if

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the home also is like that, then it's

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like a ship that comes

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in having weathered storms and and, you know,

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having been battered by the winds and the

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and the currents and so on in the

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ocean, he comes home to find that there

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is a storm in the in the harbor.

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There's some in the port. Now how horrible

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is that? Right? So where does he go?

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Another thing which I mentioned was that in

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a beautiful relationship, the husband and the wife,

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there are and there should be no defenses.

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There should be no

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barrier. There should be complete and total trust

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and faith where the both the husband and

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the wife, they have total faith and trust

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in each other.

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They don't have to play games with each

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other. They don't have to watch what they

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say, what they do,

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because of this trust between one another. Now

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in that, the the other side of it,

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I mean, I want to downside, but the

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other side of that trust is that when

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there is no,

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barrier, when there is no

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defense,

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it means also that it hurts more. Right?

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So the same thing, for example, if a

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stranger says something to you,

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it will hurt less than if your wife

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or your husband says the same thing to

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you. So this is something which is very

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important to remember that,

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we should never

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intentionally or unintentionally,

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cause pain and suffering to the one you

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are supposed to love. Allah said he created

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you and he created Allah said this that

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this is a one of his signs that

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he created you like this as companions to

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each other. And if you use that as

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a means of,

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of hurting one another, how awful is that?

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Right? But and as I said, the hurt

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is more because there is no defense against

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it.

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The hurt is more because this is a

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this is a place where you want to

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be yourself without having

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to, to pretend to be anything else. Right?

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Our whole life is full of. May I

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forgive us? But,

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in your marriage, you don't want it to

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be like that. You want it to be

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to you want to be free,

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from this tension. So

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marriage is a place of trust.

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So make sure that you,

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you respect that, and you do not violate

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that trust, and let the marriage be a

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place

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of.

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One of the most important elements

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of this, and I'll come to that in

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the next kathira on on this subject. We'll

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we'll do one for each of these words,

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is to understand that this

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this trust

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is such a critical element of a successful

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marriage.

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A successful marriage is where the spouses can

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trust each other. And the trust is that

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I can afford to be myself

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without any barriers, without any

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defenses

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and remain unhurt.

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I don't have to fear,

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that psychologically, I will be bashed up,

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if

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I, within quotes, show my true colors. I

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don't I mean, the true colors in a

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very positive sense. I don't mean that in

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a negative sense. But I'm saying that this

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is the now,

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many times, this kind of hurting happens unintentionally

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because the person might say, you know, I

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I I only tried to,

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be good to you. I'm saying this to

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you. I'm criticizing you or not, because I

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want the best for you. But remember, you

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may want the best, but it may not

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come come across as the best. Right?

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So therefore, softness

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more than hardness,

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definitely no harshness anywhere.

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Making sure that,

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the person is,

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you know, is is able to,

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stick whatever you have to say to them,

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making sure that you are not expressing

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in the name of, of giving feedback. It

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is not another way of showing aggression. It's

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not another way of showing your anger

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and irritation. All of this,

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the right? We don't have time now to

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go into all the detail, but just to

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give it to to just so that, you

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know, I I want to put some pointers,

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so you keep that in mind that,

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these are very important elements to make sure

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that the marriage remains,

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a play the the married home,

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marriage home remains a place of of harmony

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and not doesn't become a place of,

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tension.

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We ask Allah to help us to,

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to

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make our homes into,

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into into places of,

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of beauty,

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for ourselves and for others.

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