Mirza Yawar Baig – How to deal with sadness

Mirza Yawar Baig
AI: Summary © The negative impact of sadness on one's life is discussed, including anger and alcoholism. It is emphasized the importance of being humble and not just trying to be a bubble of pride. The speaker also emphasizes the potential for alcoholism to lead to fat loss and promotion of weight loss products. Additionally, it is emphasized the importance of turning towards Allah SWAN WUH and making lots of small actions to get out of sadness, seeking counsel from Insha matter, and avoiding pain through physical exercise and seeking counsel.
AI: Transcript ©
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My brothers and sisters, I gave a qudba

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yesterday

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called, do not be sad. Don't be sad.

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And as I mentioned in the,

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sadness is something that is

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prohibited

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in Islam.

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It is mentioned in the Quran only in

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the form of

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negating it

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and never

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as something which is

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which is good.

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Allah said, do not falter or grieve. Don't

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be sad for you will have the upper

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hand if you are true believers

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or in the form of negating it. Where

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Allah SWT said about the people of Jannah

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Surely those who say our Rab is Allah

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and then remain steadfast,

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remain firm on that, there will be no

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fear for them nor will they grieve.

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Now,

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as I mentioned, the the reason,

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basic reason for sadness

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or prohibition of sadness

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is that there's no benefit in sadness. Sadness

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doesn't do anything positive.

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For example,

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take anger, right, which we think of as

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a

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negative emotion. The first thing I want to

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say to you is that,

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emotions are not negative or positive in themselves.

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It is what you do with that emotion.

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It's how you express that emotion. It's how

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you feel that emotion.

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It is what you allow that emotion to

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do with you.

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Meaning,

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what is the what kind of behavior

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does that emotion

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create? What kind of behavior does that emotion,

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inspire in you? This can be positive or

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negative. So for example, anger, which usually

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is considered to be negative,

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is one of the strongest

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motivators

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for all kinds of goodness.

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Anger,

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righteous anger

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can create

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revolutions.

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Most of the time, anger anger is the

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dominant emotion in

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any revolution.

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Anger can create a complete transformation

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of life itself,

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a person's life. For example,

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an alcoholic,

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he might be,

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you know, he might he might

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he knows he's an alcoholic. It's not that

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he's,

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he's proud of that.

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But

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he's unable to give it up

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until maybe one day he,

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realizes

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what is happening to him, and he gets

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very angry with himself.

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And this results in a complete transformation of

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his life.

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This is possible. This happens.

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There's a beautiful,

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story about Sheikh Abdul Kaladin, which

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one of my very good friends,

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he asked him for a word. He said,

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can I,

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can I say something to you? And the

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chef stopped. He said, yes.

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He said, can Allah elevate me to your

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rank?

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Can Allah elevate me

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to your rank? The Sheikh said, of course.

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The man followed it up and he said,

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how fast can he do that? The sheriff

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said, in an instant, if he wills.

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So here is a man who's smelling of

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alcohol. So, obviously, he's

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he's he's an alcoholic. He's drinking.

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This conversation would have happened during daylight or,

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obviously, not in the middle of the night.

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So

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drinking in the daytime is one of the

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signs of being alcoholic. So here the man

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who's an alcoholic,

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you can smell his breath, which is horrible.

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He's talking to Sheikh Abdul Khaled Jira and

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he's asking him,

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can Allah elevate me to your rank?

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And the Sheikh says, without hesitation, of course.

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The man says,

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he asked, and how fast can Allah do

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that? How fast can he do that? The

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Sheikh says, in an instant,

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if he wills.

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Then the man asked him another question which

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made the Sheikh's eyes

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swell up with tears before replying.

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The man said, and

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can Allah bring you down from your lofty

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state to my miserable state?

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Now listen to the words. He says, and

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can Allah bring you down from your lofty

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state, your high state

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to my miserable state.

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Sheikh Abdul Khaz,

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his voice trembling, he said,

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in an instant.

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In an instant.

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In the first case,

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he said yes, and he said in an

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instant only when the man asked that how

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long. In this case, he didn't even say

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that. He didn't even wait for the man

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to ask a second question. He said in

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an instant. Now

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quite apart from the,

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absolutely beautiful example of the,

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humbleness and humility of Sheikh which

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is a sign of a true

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true scholar is one who is humble.

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A true scholar is not one who is

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arrogant. A true scholar, The one who

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becomes arrogant with his knowledge is Iblis. The

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one who became arrogant with his knowledge was

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Iblis.

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And see what see how his knowledge within

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quotes helped him. It helped him to get

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into jahannams.

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Right. Nobody was more

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knowledgeable than Iblis,

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but because that knowledge produced arrogance in him,

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he landed in Jahannam.

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So the aapulit,

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the true knowledge produces,

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it produces

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humbleness and humility.

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So in this case, a beautiful example of

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the humility

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of the of Sheikh Abdul Khaziz.

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But apart from that, see the

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the the state of this,

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the man himself, the kind of question he's

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asking. He's saying, can Allah bring you down

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from your lofty high

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state to my miserable state? Now when he's

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saying miserable state, what does it mean? Is

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he happy about about himself? No. He's not.

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Right? That's why another friend of mine sent

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me another thing today. And he said, why

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is it that,

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have you ever thought,

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why is it that alcohol companies

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never use a drug person to advertise their

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product? I mean, they should do that. I

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mean,

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here's what will happen to you. Use our

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product.

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Yeah. You know, at least it's like the

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like, sort of weight loss,

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weight loss,

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drugs or food supplements that people,

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people sell.

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The promotion

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will never show

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a a fat man or a fat woman.

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They show people who are absolutely cemented

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and then there will be a before and

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after kind of thing. Here was this person

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before and here was this person after. Now

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imagine if alcohol company did the same thing.

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Here was this person sale, a very sane

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person with a beautiful family. Everybody loves him,

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and here is the same person,

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who is drunk and lying,

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in a gutter in his own vomit. This

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is what alcohol does. This is our alcohol

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promotion, alcohol advertisement.

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Why don't they do that? So think about

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that. Right? So the point I'm making here

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is that,

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here was the man who is himself saying

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my miserable state. So the man is not

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proud of what he's doing. He's he's,

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you know, he's not proud of what he's

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doing. He's sad about that. He is,

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he is, you know, he's he's he's,

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he regrets that.

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So what is that what is that show?

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It shows that the man is angry with

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himself. So this anger can produce,

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some good results. And so one one can

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hope that after this encounter

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with the,

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the man would have transformed would have transformed

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himself and stopped,

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drinking alcohol and he would have, you know,

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really

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straightened out his life.

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The the the thing here is that with

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sadness, this doesn't happen. Sadness just sits you

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down in one place and that's it. It

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doesn't do anything for you. It doesn't even

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anger does something for you.

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Love does something for you, kindness, compassion, all

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of these

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are action oriented things that that do. Sadness

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is not sadness just settles you down,

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takes you from being sad to being depressed,

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to being

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to getting into despair. All of this,

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it takes you it it just there's no

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action involved with that. Right?

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So what must you do to get out

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of this? A couple of quick ones. 1

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is number 1,

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turn towards Allah SWAN WUH and

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make lots of dua.

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Number 2,

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or maybe that should be even sort of,

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you know, part of number 1, which is

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remember one very important thing and which is

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that the reason you are sad is because

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you lost something. Obviously, nobody is sad because

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they gained something. So they lost something.

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Remember that that thing which you lost, whether

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it was

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a person, whether it was,

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material wealth, whether it was name and fame,

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whatever it was, would have gone anyway.

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That is that thing which you lost was

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in any case

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a temporary thing. It was not something which

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is permanent. It is not something that, oh

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my god. This thing was mine and now

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I can never have it. No. Because that

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thing wasn't yours in the first place. You

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would have lost it anyway.

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You probably would have lost it before you

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died, but, definitely on death, we all lose

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it.

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So what's the what what so what is

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the real loss?

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The thing to do is

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to focus on the.

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Now that takes over the sadness because it's

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okay so instead of losing it tomorrow I

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lost it today, big deal. I mean

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so forget that. Focus on Allah Subhanahu Wa

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Ta'ala. How can I please Allah Subhanahu Wa

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Ta'ala

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with

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my with my with my actions and my

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speech? And then,

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see

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that

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2 things. 1 is focus on

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the time that you had this thing, which

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you you enjoyed this thing. So if this

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is a person, for example, most people get

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sad because somebody dies. So, you know, bereavement.

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Focus on the pre

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death, pre bereavement time and say all the

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years that I spent with,

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this person of happiness, of fulfillment, you know,

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how what wonderful people, what wonderful times we

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had, focus on that.

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Instead of saying, oh my god, they died,

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they died. No. Focus on the time that

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you enjoyed. Allah

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gave me this person and because of this

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person, it added so much value to my

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life. Focus on the fact that this person

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died, but they left behind these beautiful memories.

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So focus on those memories.

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Focus on the beautiful time you had. And

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third thing is physically,

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it is very important especially when you are

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feeling sad to do some rigorous physical aerobic

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exercise.

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So go for a walk go for a

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walk, cycle, whatever.

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Tired yourself out, put get gets full of

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sweat

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because this releases

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hormones in the body which are cheerful hormones.

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So they they they take away your sadness.

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Physical fitness in any case is good for

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you. So don't eat stuff and and so

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on.

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Do physical exercise.

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That physical exercise will so it keeps your

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also keeps your mind busy.

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So, you know, instead of brooding over what

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happened, read something new, start a project,

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physical exercise.

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If you have a, you know, if you

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have pets, for example, one of the good

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things about having pets is that they force

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you to, into a schedule, you know, it's

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not for yourself then for the pet you

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have to go and do this and do

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that and so on. So that's one of

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the good one of the very good things

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that pets do.

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So do that. Get into activities.

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So and then you'll find that this atmosphere

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inshallah go away. There are things which will

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never go away. I mean, and this is

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good. It's it's a sign of the the

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more you love somebody, the greater the pain

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of partying. That's an absolute logical thing. Right?

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So that pain will always be there, but

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it will be a nice pain. It will

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be the pain,

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which reminds you of the wonderful times you

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had and so on and so forth. And

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InshaAllah we hope to

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if that person died with ima then we

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hope to meet them InshaAllah InshaAllah

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