Maryam Lemu – Marriage Gems #13

			Trying to bring me up to his level, so to speak. And what I mean by that is the fact that he was
into certain things. And he wanted to have more things in common with me. Like I said, he was so
deliberative in his intention to get married. So he would read books on politics, books on history,
and honestly, I found those to be utterly boring. So we kind of struck a deal he would read to me,
however, I would watch. So I would watch videos on history, I would go to history channel, and learn
about ancient civilizations and wars and things that he liked to have a conversation on. I also know
that he was very into sports. And so the kind of sports he liked, I started to ask him teach me the
		

			rules. So gradually, I really got to know that what he wanted is, I want to have things in common
with you. So I don't have to go out to fulfill those needs. And that's why I keep emphasizing and I
talk about this all the time, make sure that your spouse's number one recreation involves you, if
it's sports, make sure you're involved in sports. If it is, doing something like their own hobby,
make sure you're involved in it, so that you grow together, let there not be a gap. I think one
thing I feel indebted to said about is that he brought me to his level and now intellectually, we
can have a decent conversation, deep conversation, without him feeling she doesn't get it and then
		

			he would have to go out and find somebody for it. So try and make sure that all your spouse's needs
or your spouse's wants their interests involve you. When you find your spouse is spending more time
outside. When you find your spouse's spending more time on their phones than having a decent
conversation with you. They are there but they're not there. You need to check yourself and ask what
is it I'm doing or not doing that is making my spouse not interested in doing that thing with me