The 1 missing ingredient for peace and happiness

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Haleh Banani

Channel: Haleh Banani

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There is a missing ingredient in finding peace and happiness. And I'm going to share with you what that is, in this video, Salaam Alaikum. My name is Khalid bonanni, empowering you with psychological tips and spiritual support. You know, many people are searching for the peace of mind and a little bit of happiness. And they go about it in so many different ways. There are some individuals who think it's all about attaining success, worldly success, so they will go after the degrees and the profession. There are some individuals who will go after maybe success and some fame. But I can tell you that I have worked with thousands of individuals and I have seen people who are extremely

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wealthy, extremely successful, extremely religious, and even going after the religion, you find that they have their religion, they are successful, but yet this ingredient is still missing. And what is that. And once we know, once we know what this ingredient is, and we prioritize it, then so many things will fall into place in the comment section, tell me what you think, is the missing ingredient that I'm talking to you about? You know, what I find is that there's a missing link is the mental health, you know, people will put emphasis on their physical health, as soon as they have some kind of let's say they have diabetes, they have heart disease, they are they're seeing a doctor

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trying to get their physical health in order, but then the mental health is overlooked. And that's because there's, you know, a stigma that some people have, and one in five individuals suffer from mental disorder. And it's just being ignored, right. And so it's very critical, regardless of a person's, you know, status, they may, they may be a physician, they may be well known, they may have everything, and even in relationships, they may have the best relationships, but they are suffering inside because of a mental health disorder that they have not acknowledged, they have not treated, and I can't tell you how transformative it is, when someone recognizes that they are, you know,

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suffering from an ailment and they're getting a treat it. So what I think that is a mantra that we need to really repeat to ourselves, or a motto that we should follow is that there is no health without mental health, right? So we really need to shift our focus our communities, we really emphasize the physical health. But when it comes to the mental health, we really take it for granted, we overlook it, we ignore it. But why is it so important it because it affects every aspect of your life, it affects your thoughts, your feelings, and your behavior, your ability to make decisions, you It affects your productivity, and everything you can imagine. So even if you attain

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everything in your life, you have the relationships, you have the wealth, the out the success or the fame, and you're not mentally healthy. If you have emotional issues, what's going to happen is that you will be unhappy inside, and you will not know why. So it is very critical to keep in mind some of the symptoms that you may have, if your eating pattern has changed, right. I mean, a lot of us our eating habits have changed during the pandemic, you know, I have a lot of clients who will tell me that, you know, they ended up gaining a lot of weight. So it's not due to the pandemic, but you were just like maybe excessively eating or eating a lot less if your sleep pattern has changed. If

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you have extreme mood swings, you know, I have people who tell me that there's just extreme mood swing, and it doesn't have to do with necessarily the menses. It's not hormonal, it is just something that they experience on a regular basis. If you find there's helplessness and hopelessness, all of these things are, you know, these are red flags for us just like when you have high blood pressure, just like if you you know, someone passes out or someone has extreme headache or pain. These are Signs for us red flags that tell us you know what, something is wrong, and we need to address it. So if you are, you know, crying profusely, some clients will tell me they've

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cried like four or five hours a day, that's not normal. If you're crying every single day, that's that, you know, that might be something you need to look into. And when you recognize this and you finally address it by, you know, getting getting a test, I always, you know, tell my clients to get a psychological evaluation and find out get to the bottom of this because if you are going in circles, let's say you're constantly getting into certain fights, you're constantly having problems with people, you're constantly like losing control. These are all signs that something is not right.

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The sooner you address that the sooner you are, you know, you come to terms with that, and you actually get a treated, the better off, you're going to be I had one client that I, you know, I really urged her to go and get the psychological evaluation done. And, you know, I, when I met with her, she's like, thank you so much for encouraging me to do this, because I never knew what it was, you know, she just thought she had anxiety. And so she was taking medication for anxiety, when in reality, she had borderline disorder, right. And this is not something that I diagnose, I tell them to go take the test. And once you do it, then you're going to figure out what it is. And once you

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find out, then you're going to be able to treat it, it's just like, you know, the difference between if, you know, if you have a tumor versus heart disease, versus, you know, high blood pressure, you gotta treat it differently, right. And if you don't know it, and if you're, you know, either misdiagnosed, or you're just ignoring it, it's not going to go away. And that for most people is the missing link to their happiness, because there is, you know, there is turmoil inside, there is unrest, and you feel it, when you are in the presence of a person who has some kind of mental disorder, you feel that they are not at peace with themselves, and therefore it affects their

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relationship, it affects their work performance, it affects everything in their lives. And you know, you can expect them to just snap out of it, right? We can't expect, let's say, our spouse, or children or whoever it is to snap out of it. Because just like they can't snap out of a cancer, they can't snap out of a tumor, they need treatment, you may need treatment. And so coming to terms with that is one of the most empowering things that you can ever experience. And I see it on a daily basis. And the gratitude that I see in the eyes of my clients when they're like, you know, thank you so much for encouraging me to do this test. Thank you so much for Finally, getting at the bottom of

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this and recognizing that I have a major issue. And sometimes it's not that major, sometimes it's as simple as recognizing that a person has adult ADHD, or a person has, like, you know, their obsessive compulsive and, you know, they can't see beyond that they're always getting into fights with their spouse because they have this, you know, extreme obsessive compulsive disorder, and you know, it's a disorder, when it starts interfering with your life, when you can do your daily activities when it is just imprisoning you, that's when you know, it's an issue because some people may have certain traits, they may have a little bit of depression, they may have a little bit of anxiety, they may

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have a little bit of OCD. And those you can, you know, you can cope with However, when it starts affecting the quality of your life, when you are excessively crying, you're excessively depressed where you can't get yourself out of bed when you're constantly getting into fights with your spouse and, and you know, having these outbursts, right, having outbursts is not normal, it really is not, especially if it's done excessively. And if it's done across the board right with with a variety of people. So it is very important to address what is going on. And once you do, you are going to find the missing link, the missing ingredient for having peace and happiness, address your mental health,

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don't ignore it. And you know, and have compassion for those who, let's say who are struggling for those who have been telling you, you know, many times I have clients who will tell me, you know, I've told my parents, I need to see a psychologist that that you know, and they just mock their child and they say, you know what, oh yeah, you're you're crazy. You're crazy for wanting a psychologist? Well, that's not doing anyone any good. If you get them the psychologists that they're, they they're asking for now, you will be able to avoid so many problems maybe you can avoid them from having a tumultuous relationship and divorce in the future because they will know how to

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deal with their emotions. Many times people just kind of mask whatever whatever psychological disorder they have, they mask their depression by being maybe excessive in many ways. They sometimes they mask their anxiety or they self medicate. Many people resort to self medicating by taking you know, prescription medication, they may, they may resort to you know, taking drugs, marijuana, it is very common amongst my clients to do that. So it is very critical for us to prioritize our mental health to support the ones who need they need to be treated. And when you do that, I always have the deepest respect for anyone who comes in and and seeks help because that's step number one. Look how

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many people

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are not addressing this how many people are kind of in denial how many people are sticking their head in the sand pretending they don't have a problem. But guess what, just because you're sticking your head in the sand and there is flooding in your home and the pipes have broken does not mean that the flooding goes away until you wake up to it and get it address it is going to continue to drown you and your family so take this from my heart I am saying this from the bottom of my heart because I really care about you and about your happiness about your peace. And you know you and I see people that they are you know, they're like I'm I pray to hatch it every night. I you know, I

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have a great you know, I have a great marriage, I have all of these things, but I'm still unhappy and I don't have peace. And really, it does boil down to not having the mental health check emotionally, we need to be in the right place, we need to make sure that we have the mental health. And once you do, then everything will fall into place then your relationships right because they really suffer when someone has mental health disorders. People have to you know, tiptoe around them. Everyone is scared. They're like, Oh no, we can't talk to this person. They're gonna explode. Oh, like you know, it just it affects the entire environment of the family. It affects the productivity

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at work and and you know, even spiritually because if you're that unhappy and that hopeless, then it's going to start affecting you spiritually as well. So inshallah Do yourself a favor, do your family a favor and make sure that you don't overlook your mental health and nothing is going to come out of it but insight and and guidance once you recognize what it is and once you get a treat it you are definitely going to have more peace and more happiness, inshallah, that May Allah help all of us have the inner peace, the inner happiness, and help everyone who is struggling silently, many are struggling silently with the mental health disorders. And I pray that we can be a source of support