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5 Tips To Avoid Parenting Burnout – Advice for Muslim Parents – Islamic Psychology

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Haleh Banani

Channel: Haleh Banani

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Salam aleikum. My name is Hala Banani empowering you with psychological tips and spiritual support Bismillah was salat wa salam ala Rasulillah. So now more than ever, parents are stressed out kids are at home days, many have to work from home. And it's very challenging. And we need to learn how to avoid this burnout. Because if you're burned out, then you're not good for anybody and we want to avoid it. If you're already there, Inshallah, you can, you know, get back on track, but we're going to try to avoid that burnout. So five steps, the first step is that you need to make the ME TIME non negotiable, okay, it's not something that you wish would happen, it's not some One fine day, you

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will make this time for yourself, it is something that you have to view as an essential, because when you fill your cup, when you're able to take care of yourself, you're going to be able to be a better parent. And this is what I always emphasize on the mindful Hearts Academy is that it is your responsibility to take care of your mental health, your emotional health, and when you're in a good state, then you are going to be phenomenal Inshallah, right? And filling your cup is as important as filling the gas tank, okay, if your gas tank is on empty, you're not going to be able to get to work, you're not going to be able to do your appointments, you can do your charity runs, it's just

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not gonna run, and you need to prioritize filling your cup and Salah. So that's number one. Number two,

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is about being fully present. You need to be fully present, I know that some of you may be balancing work and home and whether you're a stay at home or not stay at home moms work a lot, right? So that is not always used to frustrate me is like Are you a working mom Are you a stay at home mom yet both are working, right. But it's just a balance trying to balance it all. You may be a single mom, you may be a single dad. And it's a lot of effort, a lot of work. And you need to figure out that how to keep it together. Now I know it's tempting to multitask. I know that, you know, many times I've done it, I come home between my breaks. I'm trying to prepare dinner as I'm addressing some phone calls

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and doing everything at the same time. But try your best to be fully present with your kids. And this idea of mindfulness is what I teach on the mindful Hearts Academy, teaching you to fully be present not just like five minutes during the day, or 10 minutes. This is from moment to moment. And you can truly learn to improve all your relationships by mastering this one skill. Okay? Third, is that you need to silence the perfectionist within you that need to want to be perfect, you want your kids to be perfect, you want the house to be perfect, you want the food to be perfect. All of that puts so much pressure on you. And it will make you very angry and very frustrated. And all of that

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will lead you to being a very miserable person. So it's much better to have realistic expectations. Don't expect perfectionist, perfectionism, be happy and realize that you're enough, okay? Now the fourth thing is that you need to have some guilt free fun, actually, just the other day one client told me anytime I spend on myself, I feel so guilty the whole time. I feel guilty, I'm not fully enjoying it. And I'm always thinking, oh my gosh, I'm away from my kids. And so this is not going to help you you're not going to really refuel. And it's kind of like not sticking the pump in the gasoline. Like it's just like it's just pouring out, you're not really refueling. So make sure the

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time that you are spending on yourself, whether it's exercise, whether it's a nap, whether it's you know, meeting up with some friends for half an hour or something like that. You're not sitting there and feeling guilty about it. Because you deserve it, you need to have some fun, you need to balance it. I have seen too many people who just really become very resentful, and very upset about all that they've done because they neglected themselves. And then it comes to time that they're full of bitterness and animosity. And that's that's not healthy, right? We need to balance it. And the fifth thing is let go of the non priorities right? Because many times we put so much time and effort into

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things that are not as important. And when you say no to certain things, you're asked to do things, you are invited certain places and you say no, you're saying yes to many important things in your life. And I remember maybe around 20 years ago, I had

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tended a Stephen Covey workshop and it was all about setting your priorities. It was very interesting. We had like glass jars with big rocks, little rocks, pebbles, sand, and said, Okay, fill this up. Now there were some people who started off with the pebbles, okay, and then they weren't able to fit the large pieces, some put one or two large rocks, and then they filled it up with the sand. So there were all different kinds of varieties. And what the message was, is that you have to put the large pieces first. So if you put the large pieces of the stones representing your family, your religion, your work your health, right, you put those in first, then you put it, you

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fill it with the smaller rocks, maybe those are some of the things you do for the community, then you fill it with the sand, and it's just prioritizing what needs your attention. If you overlook the most important things, if you overlook your spouse, your kids, your home, your dean, then you're not getting it right. So make sure that you do these five things. So number one was me time is non negotiable. The second thing was be fully present when you are with your kids, so you can really enjoy that time. Third is silence, the perfectionism that need to want to be perfect. Then fourth, is about having some guilt free, fun, right have some time when you're doing something for them, and

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you are enjoying it and you're able to refuel. And then the fifth one is recognize that let go of the non priorities, things that are not urgent or important. You need to be able to let go of that I hope that all of us can make the right priorities, choose our priorities correctly, and be able to avoid any kind of burnout and be at our best. And what I encourage you to learn to be your best is you being a part of the mindful Hearts Academy where the registration is now open and you can be a part of this amazing sisterhood. You can learn step by step I help you to build your self esteem, learn emotional intelligence, overcome depression, anxiety, at learn how to find your purpose in

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life. I mean, this is the time to really get focused on how you want the following year to be right if you move on. Sometimes forget about what happened in 20 Teva, we have a fresh new start, and it's like a new chapter in your life and you can decide to make it so different. And just today I read this beautiful testimony of a sister who said that the mindful hearts has changed her life. It helped her to stop worrying. It made her be a better wife, a better mom. Many of the husbands are encouraging their wives as like, you know what, it's time for your class go ahead because they're seeing the results. Some of the children are reminding their moms just like make sure you watch the

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mindful hearts because they see that their moms they stop yelling they stop being so angry. And so it gives me so much joy and I'm so grateful for having the opportunity to help women be their best self join our lovely sisterhood the mindful hearts with an S the mindful hearts.com And we would love to have your registration is now open take care of salaam aleikum