Poistion Of Parents In Islam

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Bilal Assad

Channel: Bilal Assad

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Episode Transcript

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Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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and yet again, it is a pleasure for me to sit here before these wonderful faces. And I ask Allah subhana wa Taala to accept our deeds. And I asked last pantalla that this is one of the beneficial moments of meeting together. My brothers and sisters in Islam in the 21st century we live in.

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We are experiencing

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an era

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of joy helia similar to the one that existed before the time of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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one with a fragment of society is corrupt.

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We all know that the nation

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any nation is built on

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units of families and the families are built on units of individuals within that family.

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For this reason,

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when Allah subhana wa eiler brought down the Quran to us.

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He explained in one of the sources by saying by the house we live in is shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim.

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Yeah, a

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man who

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fusa Lee,

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all of you who believe Save yourselves first. And then your family from the fire.

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Allah subhanaw taala is addressing the individual. After addressing the individual, he tells this individual who will get married or is married to look after and protect their family,

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their children, and if he is a man, his wife, if she is a mother, her children together,

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but you cannot do so unless you fix yourself first.

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This is an indication that the world is based on the family unit which is based on the individual.

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And the law does say in the Quran. In Allah Hola, yo yo Roma come in your euro may be forcing him Allah will not change the state of a people from a bad state to a better one, until the individual changes himself or herself to a better state, in which our last pantalla is pleased with.

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For this reason, brothers and sisters,

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I begin by saying, there is a famous quote, which I read once, and it has such deep meaning that agrees with the Islamic teachings, we always complain that our children did not obey us. But they did not fail to imitate us.

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What we do, and how we speak, is the biggest form of teaching our children, our children imitate us. And what becomes of them later on is what they their children will imitate in them. So the first thing is brothers and sisters before I speak about the rights of the parents is that first of all, the onus is on the parents, first and foremost, to create a relationship with their children before they grow up and become what we call independent. As soon as they hit the age of teenagers. We know and you men know and your sisters know

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how it is you've been through it. When you became teenagers, especially the men,

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we begin to develop a slight ego. And if we don't look after it, we'd like to declare independence. In the past,

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the daughters

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remained a little bit more loyal to the family and the parents. And the boy was taught to become independent. In the 21st century we live in, and especially after World War One, the fall of the hill after the last of the hill after which was the Ottoman Empire whereby the clinging to the dean and its teachings had lost its value and the kings and Sultans and princes and the whole effect begin to think materialistically thinking about position, people among the Romans and the Byzantines and even at the time of the Mongols. They were invading the Muslim lands while the Muslims were arguing who is better argue about the Allahu Amaya.

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Time has changed. World War One occurred and whoever is responsible we understand

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Under the enemies of the plaintiff or the enemies of Islam,

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they wanted to break this bond of this Islam which Allah Spanner taught us in in the Quran once and for all.

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And the best way they did it was, first of all to divide us into nations. I'm coming to the topic of shell a very soon, it's very important to know this, to divide us into nations calling us nationalities.

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And they put this love in our hearts as though this is what needs to be done. As though this is normal, to create our own flags

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have an identity separate from anyone else. And we gave names to different countries and our different flags based on our color. And the end, we created our own language. Obviously, there were languages before, but we call this language attached to the flag or to the nationality.

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We think that this is good. But in fact, this was one of the plans of dividing when they did that, and we fell for the trap.

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What happened?

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The Muslim families themselves began to divide as well into tribalism.

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And this is when I said we've returned back to Jay Hillier are also sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, in his last sermon in hajj. Three months before he died, he gave his last sermon to the Muslims and said to them among the words he said to them work, and leave the practices of Jay Hillier behind me, for today, I stepped on it, and it is beneath my feet, do not return striking each other's necks, and cutting off the family ties that share the womb, leave tribalism and nationalism alone behind you. For those who followed it before you I'm giving you the meaning of what he said, for those who followed the before you worse were destroyed. It is nothing. It is a like a stinking carcass.

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So first that the virus intonations, then we became into tribal warfare, then the families themselves begin to divide the brother with his brother, brother with his sister.

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Until you found within one family unit.

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In the Western culture,

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unfortunately, in the Muslim world, we've taken on this attitude

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where the boy and the girl grow up

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to the point where they become teenagers.

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And they feel

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that they must now leave their parents

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and run their own course in life, as though the parents have no longer any right

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towards their children. Because now they're adults. And the West placed a number and age they said 18

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or in some countries, 19 or whatever it is, but 18 in general, when you become a teenager, an adult boy and girl, again, they placed an age

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that didn't just stop with nationalism and independence in the past an age when you're 18 then you are completely independent.

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And what does it mean? It means that they can drive. I don't know how it is in Sri Lanka. But in Australia, the wisdom you can drive and now you can buy liquor and drink alcohol.

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And that you'll be imprisoned. And if you go with a partner who is under 18 years, it's considered pedophilia. And all these things begin to apply to that individual telling the boy and the girl when you're 18, you've got to now detach yourself from the family unit in an indirect manner.

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And this is exactly what is happening. I recall a lie.

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I remember when I was about 21 years old, we had a neighbor

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and Australian neighbor but these were what we call Anglican Anglican backgrounds. So they came from Britain and there's something like seventh or eighth generation Australians call them the white collar Australians the original rednecks if you like the original people who came into Australia, the time the aborigines with Captain Cook, I don't know if you know the history behind it. But what she there was a mother who was our neighbor. She asked me how old are you? I said, I'm 21.

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She said,

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and you're still living with your parents. I said, of course. She said as soon as my son hit 19 I wanted him out. I asked about why.

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She said that's it. He can go on and along with his life and I'm not gonna sit there looking after him even after when he's 19 It's a burden. I can't stand having him in my home.

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I said it's amazing in our culture. It's very different. Quite the opposite. Our parents look

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After us and care for us from when we are born until we hit this age, when we are able to look after ourselves, and now we have to repay them. Instead of them looking after me now it's my turn. So I live with them to look after them. And I share in the expenses, and I cater for them and so on and so forth. Somehow it didn't register in her head, I don't know. She said off, I can't stand that my son's out. And it reminded me of one of the

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I mean, I'm not talking about these particular strengths. She was a very nice lady, actually. good character in every other way. But this this concept, this character, reminded me of one of those discovery channels about the animal kingdom,

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about the crocodile, the reptiles, the crocodile, lays its eggs. And the only thing it does is that it puts some dirt on the eggs and goes off the mother. It doesn't know who his husband is.

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Doesn't know doesn't care and the crocodiles gone. The eggs have to hatch and it's up to them. Survival of the fittest, they hatch, and they've got to survive. If you survive, you survive if you don't want bad luck. It's your life, not mine.

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It also reminded me of the area in solid langkah booth where last month Allah says

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method will levena

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methylene blue Kamath La La booty Taha that's bait in boo Tina bayto lang kaboo. Luca moon, Allah says the example of the similar chewed the analogy of those who take as authority figures, as those who govern their affairs, who tell them how to live their lives. Those who take these as their governance of their lives, whether it be idols, whether it be government of a particular sort, whether it be a people as a civilization, other than the Islamic one,

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who allow them to govern, how they live in their homes and outside and in their hearts and how they think in their ideology are like the spider,

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the spider who creates for itself, a family, a bait a house.

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And verily, indeed, the home of the spider is among the most weakest lokeren we are alone, if only they knew.

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Past scholars, when they went into the left side of this area, they were thinking of the web of the spider itself, the web.

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They said, What do you know by looking at the web, we can see that the threads of the web are the weakest, the easy breeze, just a simple breeze can make this web come apart. You touch it, it's gone. Those are the past scholars,

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contemporary scholars,

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they said but a lot of data explains at the end of it says lokeren we are alone If only they knew

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and they studied saying if only they knew what about the spiders home. Everybody knows that the web is weak. But then they said it could also mean the actual family makeup of the spider. And when I looked at scientific evidence and research they found that a female spider when the male spider meets with it, and usually the male spider is smaller in build than the female spider. I don't know if you knew this is smaller in in size. It meets with the female spider.

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This female spider becomes pregnant with you know dozens and dozens of babies. And once it does that the female spider turns against the male spider while the male spider tries to run away but it catches the male spider 90% of the time and kills him.

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The wife kills her husband out of my life, I don't need you anymore.

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I don't need you anymore.

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I can work I've got my own income you know like that. You know I can look after myself. You've done what you want. I've got what I received. I don't need you anymore.

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Then it gives birth to the spiders.

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Its babies turn against each other. While the female spider runs away. The spiders begin to fight some of them run some of them kill each other survival of the fittest. There is no family makeup that is bonding them.

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Contemporary offers zero and say a lot knows best. This is the fabric of families society, society today of how families work like the family of

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Spider.

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And we can see in the Western world, that this is truly the case. And I'm not here to have a go with the Western world. But what I am saying is the truth statistically, scientifically, by research, even among non Muslims read about it's all over the internet in their own books.

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I once had an interview with the age newspaper back in Australia, in Melbourne, and they asked me about Islam in the family and I said, Islam places the utmost importance on family.

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I said, you have a lot to learn from the Islamic way of life, in relation to family makeup, because you are yet to learn a lot from it.

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They said, We are a Christian country who follows the Bible that you know, and a lot of us are secular. I said that's the problem in a secular society, you make up your laws, and you make up your concepts and principles as you learn them along the way. And they'll tell you why you're changing your laws. As for a Christian society, Jesus Christ peace be upon him, is an honorable Prophet of ours. However, he was not a married man. For this reason, Christians themselves have little understanding of what a family should be, even though they have some understanding through the Bible. If you did not have the Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we have

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ample information about the Prophet peace be upon him in his family to minute detail, then you cannot complete the understand your understanding of a family life. My brothers and sisters in Islam.

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When I was I was a Public Relations Officer when I was back at university Public Relations Officer at a local Masjid one of the most popular messages in Melbourne Islamic Council of Victoria Society of Victoria. I one of the oldest, and we still receive so many phone calls. One day, I received a phone call on Juma and it was a lady from Lebanon. elderly lady.

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She's on the phone.

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And she asked me

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Are you the person who gives the homeless some time? Or you translate in English? I said, Yes. And then suddenly her voice changed. She started to cry. She said to me, can't you speak to the young people? I said about what you said, My son, he beats me up every day.

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Last night, he put me on the floor and he trampled on me. He stepped on my back. And what am I'm saying to him, because he asked me for money and I wouldn't give him money. And I know that he's going using on drugs. I know that he's going out and doing things I don't want him to come to him. But when I don't give him money, he starts to beat me up.

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This is not the first time I hear these.

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But arasu sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us about one of the signs of the last hour

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is that children who grow up will begin to beat their own parents.

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In telemovie, are also SAS lm tells us

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when the son he brings his friends closer, and his father further

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favors his friends upon his father, above his father,

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and tell him amadora better and tell you that amadora better hair which is inside Bukhari and Muslim that when the woman begins to give birth to a daughter, who later on begins to have authority over her. This is the correct one of the most correct opinion among the scholars.

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Did you know A time will come when people will curse their own mother and father.

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This is happening every day. They curse their own mothers and fathers.

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We hear it all the time.

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I had a neighbor. I used to hear them every day. Almost every day day in day out. The daughter used to scream at her mother and I used to hear it and the daughter would go to the backyard screaming out the words. I hate you. It's not fair. I hate you. I hate your guts.

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This is what's happened and the mother

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swearing at her daughter and the daughter swearing at her mother.

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We hear so much about the society today.

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But what makes me very sad and sorrowful

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is unfortunately, a lot of this information now.

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is emanating from Muslim communities themselves.

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As a teacher, I hear students say this in the playground.

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Students swear at each other's mothers and fathers, and the other one laughs about it. They except that his joking

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are also sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

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may Allah curse the one who swears that his own father or mother.

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They said they are Rasul Allah who would curse their own mother and father. He said, There will come a time when people will curse others, mothers and fathers. And by that they have cursed their own.

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And I will give you the reference shortly inshallah, about that.

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My brothers and sisters in Islam,

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also sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us about how our nation can be built on strength, and good morals, and how we can return back to our strength and once in glory. It starts from the individual. Secondly, from the family makeup, and then it extends into the neighborhood, to the community, which makes up society, which makes up a country which makes up the world.

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There is a little story just before I go into the rights of the parents, there was a alum

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in one of the Western countries. He

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wanted to deliver the hotbar on a Friday, and he didn't know what topic to deliver to the people.

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To add to that, his little son was five years old. He's running around him Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, dad, that that, that that that? I heard the story from a speaker by the name of Suraj ehedg. I don't know if you've heard this story.

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He said, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,

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the Imam is there sitting trying to think. So he takes his little son into a little room.

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And he finds a book,

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a book about geography. He opens the book and finds the map of the world.

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And then he cuts up this map of the world into little shreds and gives it to his son and says, Son, if you can put this map together, I will give you $5

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father goes back thinking about his horrible holding his pen and paper. Five minutes later, his five year old son comes back Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,

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a man looks at his son says What now? He says, Look, I put the map together. It looks at the map. Truly, five year old son put all the continents all the states, all the oceans absolutely the right place, looks at his son and says, Son, how did you do this? The son says easy dad. Before you cut up the page. You didn't see on the back of the page, there was a picture of a man. And I thought that if I can put the puzzle of the man together, then the map will come together by itself.

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The man looks at his son. And he says son

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good on you. Here is your $5. And thank you for helping me figure out the topic for my hope. But today.

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If you put the man together, the world will come together.

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So my address tonight

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is first and foremost,

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to the young generation to the youth and secondly, to the parents of these youth. And thirdly to the elderly is of the parents of this youth.

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You know why? We all have parents or had parents. So this applies to all of us. But first and foremost to the youth. Now I'm going to ask a dangerous question. So be careful. In case I pick on you Okay, hands up if you consider yourself a youth

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no one

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there we are. We've got a youth

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I'm just scaring me when I said dangerous questions because sometimes a 50 year old male say I'm a youth feel he feels like his 1918 any youth here Put your hands up Really? If you're a youth young

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brother Azad Come on.

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Okay, I still consider brother as a youth Masha Allah The other day I saw him doing the high jump. I'm just joking. Masha Allah good. Lots of youth I can see in front of me at least, I can see at least about just by looking at you at least 50 and that's not counting your own shell. All right, hands up. If you feel that you're still 20

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hands I feel that you're 20 Mashallah Sri Lankan community is very different than the one in Australia. You ask a 60 year old man he says I feel like I'm 18

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the next day he goes and gets married.

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I remember one shake, called shake her head the father of a good friend of mine

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About 7080 years old, it comes into pleasure to pray one day and he was a bit late usually is always on time. And he was in the fourth row. You know, first time there's only about three or four rows is in the fourth row. And suddenly he says,

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Please forgive me for my lateness this morning. I got married.

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I looked at him as a chef, I hate you got married? Because his wife had died. He said yes, yes, I got married. Yes. I'm 80 years old, Masha Allah. He said, I feel like I'm 19.

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After that, he got old very quick. He could see it on his face older.

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Anyway,

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the youth, my brothers and sisters in Islam.

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You don't understand how serious it is.

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I don't know if I can give this topic its rights.

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But however, if you don't understand the author of this topic,

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then at least you will believe the creator of the man and the woman. Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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Let us begin with a beautiful verse in the Quran.

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where Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah says in Surah Surah

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Allah will lead him in a shaytani r rajim, Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem and I beg your attention for these verses are not just there like that they have deeper meaning than what you think. In fact, the more you read them, the more you understand that there is deeper meaning in them.

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Allah says

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work on Boo.

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Boo Oh,

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no one.

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Conan Kareem

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was

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Jenna.

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Can.

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Allah says,

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And your Lord has strictly commanded you

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that your worship none other but him.

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That your worship none other but him.

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And to be absolutely good

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towards your parents.

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Sn Sn means more than just good.

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It means to exert absolute goodness, even at the times when you are struggling. And don't feel like doing it continue.

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No matter how old they become in age.

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If you live

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and they live,

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to the time when you see them grow old and frail.

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Then never in all these years.

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Dare to even be bad to them. As little as pronouncing a sound of

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towards them.

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Don't even say

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towards them.

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And do not talk to them harshly than her humor. Do not talk to them in a rough manner. In a harsh tone. Allah is not even saying the words he's saying the tone, the tone, the sound of your voice. Don't even talk with a harsh tone. A rough tone.

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What called lahoma colon Karima. But remember, always choose the most generous and beautiful words to say to them.

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And lower the wing of humility towards them out of mercy. Out Of what? Mercy Mercy, not respect. Not kindness, but mercy because the word Rama has deeper meaning than kindness and respect

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and say oh

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My Lord,

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give them mercy. The same way they gave me mercy as they raised me from when I was a child.

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such deep meanings in this verse brothers sisters, I don't know how, whether you understand them or not, but I'll try just to give you just sort of in a nutshell.

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Alice pantalla says what kata kata is used when a judge rules in a court. Once he puts the hammer down, no one can go against the police come and take a

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walk or a book your Lord has decreed. There is no normal can go against it, that you worship none other bet him and to be absolutely good towards your parents, brothers and sisters, did you know that Allah subhanaw taala put the two together in one sentence. In one sentence, like they know there's no full stop between worshiping Allah alone and being good towards your parents in absolutes. There's no full stop. The only difference between the worship of Allah alone and the dutifulness towards parents is that Allah subhanho wa Taala put the worship of Allah alone, in the same sentence before mentioning the cheerfulness towards parents. That's the only difference because

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in the Arabic language, in one sentence, whatever you mentioned before another, it means it's a sequence.

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This is more important than that. That's the only difference. But Allah spent Allah mentions the worship of Allah alone then follows that by being dutiful, towards the parents, why the scholars say because the origin of life, the origin of your existence is from Allah subhanho wa Taala originally, and the secondary origin is from your parents. In other words, you came from a lost power dialer through his creation of Adam alayhis salaam, and thereafter until the end of time, your creation is from your parents. So as though Allah subhanho wa Taala is making a connection between his creation of us and the status of parents in your creation from them.

00:32:15--> 00:32:22

And even our best says the most important after Allah Spano doll and His Messenger Are your parents.

00:32:24--> 00:32:36

Because this is the origin of your life, then Allah subhanaw taala tells us whether they grow old in age. Why did he mention age as being old? You know why?

00:32:37--> 00:32:38

Naturally,

00:32:40--> 00:32:51

when a child grows into an adolescent, and sees their parents grow old and frail, their parents begin to become annoying. When they're old,

00:32:52--> 00:32:55

they begin to have too many demands.

00:32:56--> 00:32:58

They become almost like children, some of them.

00:33:01--> 00:33:12

Allah does tell us this in the Quran, woman come mejora de la, la la, la la la la, la la mantia. Some of you return back to the feeble weak age.

00:33:14--> 00:33:16

And what they knew they no longer know.

00:33:17--> 00:33:19

So they become dependent upon their children.

00:33:21--> 00:33:40

And in that time, they become very annoying to the children because if you see the Son or the daughter, they're married now. They've got their own children to look after. They've got their own spouse to look after they got their own home, they got their work their job, their time, they got no more time for their parents, and this nagging father and this nagging mother becomes suddenly a burden upon their chest.

00:33:41--> 00:33:46

If I asked any young person here, do you love your parents put your hand up?

00:33:48--> 00:33:56

You love your parents just see how many hands up went up. And I said, if I asked any young person, then everyone put their hand up this time.

00:33:57--> 00:34:06

Just like me laughing. You know why naturally? Because when you no matter even if you're 60 or 70 years old, if I mentioned parents, what do you feel like? You feel like a child again?

00:34:08--> 00:34:21

My mother, who is now in our high 50s she says you're my oldest son and you're 35 every time I look at you, I can't see you as this old is this man a 35 I look at you as my little son.

00:34:23--> 00:34:29

Still the five year old son running around me wanting his mother's attention. Look at me ma'am. I can do the handstand

00:34:30--> 00:34:30

like that.

00:34:32--> 00:34:34

And really, when I'm with my mother,

00:34:35--> 00:34:45

I put my head I tuck it into her into her shoulders and into her chest. You know, like, I just feel like a baby again. And sometimes I act like a baby.

00:34:46--> 00:34:46

You know?

00:34:47--> 00:34:48

That's the nature.

00:34:49--> 00:34:51

However, when they grow old,

00:34:53--> 00:34:56

we become annoyed by them and we distance ourselves from them.

00:34:58--> 00:34:59

My brothers and sisters in Islam

00:35:01--> 00:35:23

Allah says lower the wing of humility towards them out of mercy. And I explained why did Allah say mercy not respect, and why did not mention out of love or out of kindness, because mercy plays a different role in life. Man means when somebody does something bad towards you, takes your right away.

00:35:24--> 00:35:28

And they deserve in normal circumstances to be punished.

00:35:29--> 00:35:48

Here, the only thing that will save that person is not rights. This for that, not justice, not kindness, not respect. It is mercy. urashima Mercy is when someone does something wrong towards you and takes your right.

00:35:49--> 00:35:54

And they deserve in normal circumstances to be punished in a court of law, injustice.

00:35:55--> 00:36:03

But instead you exercise mercy and you pardoned them without even any apology. Without taking your right back. You just let them go.

00:36:05--> 00:36:34

Allah mentioned this towards the parents. And I hear many youth in my life. I hear my students back at school. I hear it in the community. Whenever I give a lecture or something, I hear the youth coming to me and the first thing they do, my father takes my rights. My mother tells me what to do and she annoys me all the time. My parents hate me. My parents do this to me. My parents take my right my parents did this. My parents did their unjust to me they complain and nag brothers and sisters get over it really get over it.

00:36:36--> 00:36:40

And when you hear this Howdy, Sinead, now you will understand why I'm saying get over it.

00:36:45--> 00:36:46

I know this young men

00:36:49--> 00:36:51

very close to me.

00:36:54--> 00:36:58

One day, his friends gave him two dogs as pets.

00:36:59--> 00:37:02

He entered the house. And his mother said to him,

00:37:03--> 00:37:07

either you come in, or you want the dogs leave.

00:37:09--> 00:37:10

So he chose to leave with the dogs.

00:37:12--> 00:37:16

For a few days, then he realized how important his parents are. He came back.

00:37:17--> 00:37:38

One day, a loss panda Allah put this young man into a trial. And I think and the Lord knows best. He put him through this trial because I know that this young man is a very special young man actually. But he took the wrong way because of bad friends. As the resource. I said, I'm told us, you bring your friends closer and your parents away.

00:37:40--> 00:38:00

misled. But when I lost my dad, I was good for a sermon that he loves. He puts a trail toward it, he makes them go through a trail of hardship, because that's the only way they will wake up. If he loves that person, he wants him back. But if he doesn't love them, he lets them go astray. This young man was put through a very, very strenuous trial.

00:38:02--> 00:38:06

Through this trial, he was imprisoned for a year and a half.

00:38:07--> 00:38:12

No one, he realized could equate to his mother and father.

00:38:14--> 00:38:15

Everyone abandoned him

00:38:17--> 00:38:18

except his mother and father.

00:38:19--> 00:38:23

It was through this trial. This young man not only returned back to his Lord,

00:38:26--> 00:38:30

even though he was in solitary confinement, innocently put in prison,

00:38:32--> 00:39:10

only to know at the end of it, he became more intelligent, closer to our last panel. He came out praying his five daily prayers, and now he understands the true value of parents. I said to him, how about one day I bring you along with me to a lecture and you talk about your experience and talk to the youth about how valuable parents are? He spoke to me a few times and I said you are speaking deep words. Because he went through that experience. Your parents let me tell you why is it that our Quran and Sunnah concentrates so much about the rights of parents more than what it mentions about the rights of children.

00:39:11--> 00:39:34

Did you realize that if you look into the Quran and look into the suit of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, you will find numerous, numerous, a hadith which reminds the children to respect and obey and be good towards their parents more than what you will find about parents giving their rights to their children. A young person may ask why is this emphasis so much about parents? You know?

00:39:35--> 00:39:47

I'll tell you why. Because Allah created the parents with an instinctive nature. They can't help it and instinctive nature, to love their children.

00:39:48--> 00:40:00

They will put their lives at stake for their children. They will sacrifice everything they have for their children, even when they're angry at their children and they ground them or punish them. It is

00:40:00--> 00:40:03

Only because of their intense love for them because they don't want them to fall.

00:40:06--> 00:40:07

Especially the mother,

00:40:09--> 00:40:12

especially the mother, especially the mother, and then the Father

00:40:14--> 00:40:18

except in very isolated situations.

00:40:21--> 00:40:25

The mother and the father will give everything they have for their children.

00:40:26--> 00:40:37

And let me ask you a question. I'm not talking Quran and Sunnah I'm talking in natural ways. You see when the Quran and Sunnah doesn't talk about something too much, it means it's a very natural thing.

00:40:38--> 00:40:47

You know, when something's very natural me to talk about it too much. You know, it's, it's the norm. I'll ask you a question. Hands up if you are a parent.

00:40:48--> 00:40:49

Hands up all the parents.

00:40:51--> 00:41:06

I can see the shadow of the sisters. So if you can put your hand up I can see the shadow of your arms. If you RPS Masha, Allah, you are a parent. Youngsters, I want you to listen, if you're not a parent, Look, listen to the question that I'm asking your parents because it's going to happen to you one day.

00:41:10--> 00:41:12

Hence up our parents.

00:41:16--> 00:41:24

If you are actually everybody, hands up, if you would like to see anyone else achieve more than you in life,

00:41:25--> 00:41:45

just generally not not seriously Come on, then just put your hand up like that. None of us instinctively like to see anyone better than ourselves. Isn't that right? I mean, let me give you a humorous question. If you had a group photo with some people, and then someone gave you that photo, who do you look at first?

00:41:46--> 00:41:47

Okay.

00:41:48--> 00:41:53

You look at yourself first, right? Because instinctively, we worry about our own personal state.

00:41:54--> 00:42:01

Parents, I asked you, would I be correct? Hands up. If you think that I'm correct in saying this.

00:42:02--> 00:42:03

We as parents,

00:42:05--> 00:42:09

naturally don't like to see anyone better than ourselves. Except one.

00:42:11--> 00:42:15

The only person would like to see better than ourselves, is our son or daughter.

00:42:17--> 00:42:54

Hands up if you agree with me, we'd like to see our children achieve more than ourselves. And in fact, we don't get jealous of them. But we get very proud of them. Isn't that right? For example, if I made it halfway to being a doctor, what I would yearn for. And this will explain to the youth What are your parents pick on you a lot in education. I would love to see my son achieve what I didn't achieve to become that doctor, if I didn't become the Ireland that I also always imagined. I would love to see my son even becoming more than that. And I've already burdened my son saying to put trying to put in his head now what do you want to become? Is? I don't know. So you want to become a

00:42:54--> 00:43:23

doctor? Yeah, I want to become an Ireland. Yes, doctor in Ireland and highest in a doctor in Ireland in both worlds. We put this into our children because we want to see them achieve more than us. So panela it's instinctive in the parents to want the best for their children. However, the opposite is not true. The children can never love their parents as much as what the parents love their children. And in fact, there comes a time where that love becomes even less. And that's when you get married. And when you have children of your own,

00:43:24--> 00:43:27

your focus becomes on your children and your wife or your husband.

00:43:29--> 00:43:30

More so for the men.

00:43:31--> 00:43:48

But guess what's happening to their grandparents. When you have children, the grandparents it will be as though they are living their life again, as if you are born again. We have a saying in Lebanese says there is nothing more valuable

00:43:50--> 00:43:55

than the child except the child of the child.

00:43:57--> 00:44:22

That's why grandparents, when you keep your children with their grandparents, they become very spoiled. Because the parents when they were raising you, they felt the burden of responsibility of keeping you away from home. But now that they see their sons and daughters looking after their own children, they say we don't have to raise them anymore. Now we can give them the candy. We can make them stay up in the night. We're gonna make them watch whatever they want, play and do whatever they want, because that's what they've always wanted for you.

00:44:24--> 00:44:35

But they have a commitment to their responsibility. So don't complain about your parents, pampering your children, my brothers and sisters, they are only wanting to do what they wanted for you.

00:44:36--> 00:44:40

There is another verse in the Quran. Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah says

00:44:42--> 00:44:47

of nationalism similar of manga Rahim was slain in his

00:44:49--> 00:44:50

early days a

00:44:55--> 00:44:56

new

00:44:57--> 00:44:59

movie I mean, I know

00:45:00--> 00:45:01

Scholarly,

00:45:03--> 00:45:04

scholarly,

00:45:06--> 00:45:08

mostly what

00:45:13--> 00:45:14

it can be.

00:45:20--> 00:45:22

Hey Bill McAfee.

00:45:25--> 00:45:32

surratt. Look, man, first 14, Allah says, and we commanded men, the human being,

00:45:34--> 00:45:44

to be dutiful towards his parents. His mother carried him, agony and pain upon agony and pain.

00:45:45--> 00:45:46

And she

00:45:47--> 00:45:49

went through labor

00:45:51--> 00:46:00

and then breastfed him or her for two whole years. Behold, thank me and thank your parents, and to me, you will return.

00:46:01--> 00:46:28

And if your parents strive in Jihad hudec, they strive with all their mind, to make you make partners with me, disbelieve in me in ways which you have no knowledge of, or which I have not commanded you to do so then do not obey your parents. If they do that, however, still maintain your duty of kindness towards them, live with them on good terms.

00:46:29--> 00:46:41

In this verse, Allah saying something remarkable. A law says, we command you to be good towards your parents. And then he mentioned your mother, she carried you agony upon agony, this is in pregnancy.

00:46:45--> 00:46:52

I challenge any men here or youngsters to get a soccer ball and just place it underneath your shirt.

00:46:53--> 00:47:07

And I want you to walk around just for one day and one night, in a lot of take that soccer ball out, have it sit, stand, you're going to go to school, you got to go to your work with the soccer ball in there. And then when you go to sleep, you have to stop just a soccer ball.

00:47:08--> 00:47:33

I bet you can't even sleep the night. I bet you can't even do what you wanted. It's gonna be so difficult I just the soccer ball. Your mother carried you for nine whole months. And you kept getting bigger and bigger didn't get easier, right? The bigger you became the heavier you became, and the more back pains and kidney pains and then it comes with side effects, cholesterol and diabetes and the body changes and then she's never the same as before.

00:47:34--> 00:47:35

It's all your fault.

00:47:39--> 00:47:44

And we forget this. Yet even upon that Allah gave her the strength.

00:47:46--> 00:48:02

And then she breastfed you for two whole years or so. Again, pain and agony. I don't want to describe because we may have young sisters who are not married or those who don't have children, they probably be put off from having children. But sapan Allah Allah gives you this intuition to want to have children.

00:48:03--> 00:48:39

And then Allah says if your parents strive to make you make partners with Allah, meaning the non Muslim, the kuffar strive, meaning their absolute kuffaar they hated the deen they hate Allah. And not only are they telling you and advising you that something shahadat meaning they'll strive in every way, and probably even put you through torture, to make partners with Allah. Allah says, nearly nearly don't obey them. Don't talk to them back. Don't abuse them, don't spirit them, don't hurt them, then hit them. Nothing. Just don't obey them. Don't listen to them about that.

00:48:40--> 00:48:49

And still on top of that, even though they're telling you to make partners with me, Allah says, still live with them on good terms.

00:48:51--> 00:48:56

This is the state of Ibrahim alayhis salam, as he said to his father when he strived to make and worship idols.

00:48:58--> 00:49:15

Every man his Salah, maintained making diet for his father until his father died and even after that until he lost my dad, I sent down a verse telling him You are not allowed to make the heart for your father to put him in paradise or forgiveness, if he has chosen to die as a disbeliever. This was his choice. Now it is my right

00:49:18--> 00:49:20

the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:49:22--> 00:49:24

was rising the member one time

00:49:25--> 00:49:28

and the Sahaba has heard him say the following words

00:49:29--> 00:49:30

mean

00:49:32--> 00:49:36

second time, mean third time and mean.

00:49:37--> 00:49:40

When he finished the sahabas asked him yada Salalah

00:49:41--> 00:50:00

what is the wisdom behind you saying mean and mean and mean and by the way, realize that the Sahaba has never asked the prophet SAW Selim why. Rather they said, Mel Hickman, what is the wisdom behind it or the likes? And that's why I tell the youngsters when you want to ask your people

00:50:00--> 00:50:09

Parents a question. never asked them by saying, Why did you do that? Why did you do this? Why didn't you don't say Why? Why is actually a rude word.

00:50:10--> 00:50:17

But rather ask them father, mother, what's the lesson behind what you did? What's the wisdom behind that?

00:50:19--> 00:50:29

So they said what is the wisdom behind you saying I mean, Amina Rasul Allah, oh, we heard you saying, I mean amenia Rasul Allah benefit us. He said, jabril, Allah is Allah and came to me and said,

00:50:30--> 00:50:33

may his nose be rubbed in dust,

00:50:34--> 00:50:52

whoever approaches Ramadan, and Ramadan is finished, and still, their sins are not forgiven. I said me, then he said to me, may his nose be rubbed in dismay, meaning maybe disgraced, whoever he is my name being mentioned, and doesn't send salutations upon me Salalah while he was in them,

00:50:54--> 00:51:15

I said me. And then he said, jabrill, making a DA against these people, he said, may his nose be rubbed in dust, in other words, be disgraced, whoever reaches their parents in old age, and still, they did not be the cause for him or her entering paradise.

00:51:17--> 00:51:21

I said, I mean, you know, that means it means

00:51:22--> 00:51:36

one of the greatest opportunities of you entering Paradise is your parents reaching old age while you are still living with them, or they are still living while you are around, and they die.

00:51:38--> 00:52:00

And they still could not make you enter Paradise, meaning they died displeased with you. And this was the greatest opportunity for you to enter Paradise because of them. You know, it's like someone bringing a pot of gold and placing it in your bedroom, and says to you, it's yours. All you have to do is take it and it's in front of you. And you say I don't want it.

00:52:01--> 00:52:02

I don't want it.

00:52:04--> 00:52:32

So, in other words, may his nose be rubbed in dust. In other words, what a great loser. This person is, after having that opportunity, and this hadith occurs in the world. And there is a similar Hadith like it with the process and repeated three times said how disgraceful, they are disgraced, they are disgraced, they are whoever, and Sahaba said, Who jasola who we beg of you who he said the one who reaches his parents in old age, and still he cannot enter Paradise.

00:52:33--> 00:52:59

And this hadith in Sahih, Muslim, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, He who is pleased to have his provision increased. You want to get wealthy, you want to have land, you want to have many houses, you want to be happy, luxurious in life. He who wants this to be increased in his lifetime, and his lifespan be extended, meaning you want to live longer and healthy

00:53:01--> 00:53:20

and happy. Then let him keep relations with relatives and kinship. kinship means or Rahim, which is the womb that resides in the mother, meaning everyone who is connected to the mother or the father, keep their relationships and your parents are the first of them. narrated in Sahih al Bukhari and

00:53:23--> 00:53:25

Eros, Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran,

00:53:42--> 00:53:45

Mary Jane and Kathy,

00:53:50--> 00:53:51

what?

00:53:56--> 00:53:57

Navy

00:54:00--> 00:54:01

in a law

00:54:05--> 00:54:27

which means, oh people, protect your souls from the displeasure of your Lord, the one who created you from a single soul. And he made from this single soul, his spouse, and made from them, many nations and tribes, many men and many women and fear your Lord,

00:54:28--> 00:54:35

the one who will question you in relation to the womb, and the relatives of the womb of your mothers.

00:54:37--> 00:54:41

Allah is watching over you in every action you are doing.

00:54:43--> 00:54:46

When Allah Allah created the creation,

00:54:48--> 00:55:00

this hadith in Buddhism Bukhari and Muslim he created the womb and the woman complained to Allah subhanho wa Taala saying, Oh my Lord, I fear that people will come

00:55:00--> 00:55:47

me off, then allow set to the womb, or at satisfy you. If I disconnect from myself, anyone who disconnects you and whoever connects you, I will connect them to myself. And the womb said, I am satisfied My Lord, Allah said, then let it be for you. In other words, if you want to be connected to Allah, then read through your parents. It is not enough for a person to be praying and fasting and going to Hajj 10s of times, and giving that are out there to every person and people converting on their hands into Islam, and then going out into Jihad and then donating everything they have, and they die even on the battlefield, in the best of ways, while their parents are displeased with them,

00:55:47--> 00:56:24

you will not antigen you will not intergender my brother and sister, a man came to the prophet SAW Selim said, jasola I want to go on Jihad with you. I want to sacrifice my life. It was a voluntary jihad. And the prophet SAW Selim asked him ellika Do you have a mother? He said, Yes, she's old in age. He said, who's looking after her? He said I'm her only son. He said, Barbara. Go and be dutiful towards his agenda that you are seeking through this jihad. He said yes, yeah, Rasul Allah. He said, feliz em cada may go and serve her feet, for there is paradise.

00:56:28--> 00:56:30

Unless it's compulsory, jihad is a different story.

00:56:31--> 00:56:41

My brothers and sisters in Islam are also sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in a hadith which is narrated in Bharani, three acts will render one's deeds useless.

00:56:43--> 00:56:43

shirk

00:56:45--> 00:56:52

violating parents rights, and fleeing from the battlefield shake,

00:56:53--> 00:57:25

violating the parents rights and fleeing from the battlefield and has an anniversary one of the tabea in said to be dutiful, towards the parents, which is called an Arabic bitter bitterroot Valley Dane. He says bitter towards parents means obeying their orders, except in that which Allah has forbidden in contrast, or Coke, which means disobedience to the parents means neglecting the parents and withholding one's kindness from them. In the reading that'll put me

00:57:26--> 00:57:29

how many young people hold the kindness from their parents?

00:57:31--> 00:57:33

How many young people

00:57:34--> 00:57:42

when it comes to the parents mother gets up and says, Son, take me to the doctor's. The son says, Mom,

00:57:43--> 00:58:08

it's the World Cup. I need to watch Brazil and Argentina. Who's going to win? Come on, mom, how cool are you? This is the only my friends are watching. And everybody's watching, you know, you want me to man, just wait, take a taxi. The shaitan comes and says yes, do that do that. And he climbs on top of the youth shoulders and dangles his feet saying, Look at what I'm doing. I'm making this son or daughter

00:58:10--> 00:58:34

denying themselves from gender. And then the mother turns around and says, may Allah guide you my son or daughter. And the shaitan replies by saying that she still makes up for him or her. Now, even in that case, the person goes on a trip and he's too busy to call their mother and father Amir phone call.

00:58:35--> 00:58:46

Men who are married and now I hear about this, the wives prevent and limit their husbands from their connection with their mums and dads and what's worse than that is that the husband listens to her

00:58:48--> 00:58:59

or husbands who prevented their wife from meeting with their mother and father. And I've heard this many times sisters complaining saying my husband prevents me from going over to my mum and dad because he doesn't like them.

00:59:01--> 00:59:22

I say so Pamela law tell him look and female co2 Holic or salsa Sallam said, there is no obedience to any creation if it means the disobedience to the Creator. your husbands are not your gods. We are not their gods. We are kneeling, being given this trust in our hands brothers and sisters. And the lowest power dialer is the one who gave us this trust.

00:59:23--> 00:59:35

There is a hadith which is narrated in Sahih Muslim and Sahih Bukhari also Salim said, shall I not inform you of the biggest of the major sins? You know, we hear about major sins, right?

00:59:36--> 00:59:54

Imagine or associates me saying, I want to tell you, not just the major sin, the biggest of the major sins, like this tops the cake, he said, and he asked the three times shall I not tell you of the biggest of the major sins? Shall I not tell you shall I not tell you?

00:59:55--> 00:59:59

The Sahaba said please tell us your Rasul Allah, he said, a sherek

01:00:01--> 01:00:06

Make you pass a law and to be unsuitable to one's parents.

01:00:11--> 01:00:18

Some people have a problem when they have non Muslim parents, I've been asked this question, how do I show my obedience to them when they are non Muslim?

01:00:20--> 01:00:33

I repeat, Allah says, and if they strive to make you make partners with a law which he has not commanded you, then do not obey them, but still live with them on good terms. I also saw Selim, there was a smart bit abubaker.

01:00:36--> 01:01:06

She said yeah, Rasul Allah, my mother has come to visit me for some purpose and her mother was still an idolatry. Should I uphold ties of kinship with her? And he said, Yes, uphold ties of kinship with your mother. Sahih Bukhari. You can never My dear brothers and sisters repay your parents for their hardship. This is why whether they are Muslim or non Muslim, Allah is just and he commands justice. You need to repay your parents, brothers and sisters in Islam. You know,

01:01:07--> 01:01:16

a brother, once who came to me with a law he honored him really high after he told me about this. He says, brother, I got married.

01:01:17--> 01:01:22

And my parents mistreated me in my marriage. They didn't like my wife.

01:01:23--> 01:01:40

And my wife began to hold a grudge towards my parents. Because of that grudge, she felt that my parents were stepping on me. You know, she kept saying to me, why do you keep listening to them and going over and doing what they want? You're being stepped on?

01:01:42--> 01:01:53

This brother of mine, I asked him, What did you do about it? He said, of course, I didn't listen to my wife about this. I said, Did you still treat your wife with justice and care? He said, Yes. I said, good.

01:01:54--> 01:02:18

I go, I said to him, what did you do towards your parents? He said, I maintain my ties with them, even though it looked like they were mistreating me. I said, Well, how did they mistreat him? He said, they don't call me. They don't ask about me. They ask about my siblings more, and they don't come to see me very often. I have to always go to them. I said good.

01:02:19--> 01:02:20

You maintain that

01:02:22--> 01:02:35

for they don't even have any obligation whatsoever to come to visit your call you. In fact, if they never called you again and never visited you ever or even mentioned you, you still owe them

01:02:36--> 01:02:49

for an all those years that you were raised with them. What did you give them back? How could you even equal what they have given you? You owe them already? You're in debt. You're in debt.

01:02:50--> 01:03:22

I also saw silence Hadith is insane Muslim, are also Sasha Lama sitting and then was lying down, then he set up and he said, You are to be dutiful, towards your parents. I'm paraphrasing. And a man stood up and said here also the law what in viola, even if his parents have oppressed him, they wronged him hinder a salsa celeb lifted his arms up and said three times were in volunteer who were in volunteer who were in volunteer, even if they oppressed him, even if they oppress them or even if they oppressed him or her.

01:03:24--> 01:03:36

Zora Ibrahim, one of the companions of the Prophet SAW, Selim said, A man came to her Omar epinal hataoka la mano and said, I have an old mother

01:03:37--> 01:04:04

who is unable to go to answer the call of nature. So I carry her on my back. I also help her perform will do while turning my face away from her out of respect. Have I fulfilled my duty towards her? alma mahatama, Allahu anhu replied, No, you have not. The man said, even though I carry her on my back

01:04:05--> 01:04:19

and exert myself in her service. Amara, the Allahu anhu said, you see, she used to do the same for you when you were young, while hoping that you will live.

01:04:21--> 01:04:22

As for you,

01:04:23--> 01:04:26

you wait, when she will go away.

01:04:28--> 01:04:42

It can never be equal. When she was raising you. She was anticipating looking forward to the day when she will see you blossom and live. But now what do you what can you look forward to? No matter what you do have goodness towards her. All you see ahead? Is her death.

01:04:44--> 01:04:47

You'll see your parents death. So how they can never be equal. It's impossible.

01:04:50--> 01:05:00

And this hadith is narrated by Edna Josie in his book bitterroot Valley Then there is another Hadith by Eben abdus or the Allahu anhu when he was getting

01:05:00--> 01:05:15

translating or interpreting the area. Initially when he when he digue Allah says thank me and thank your parents he said This means if you thank Allah but not appreciate your parents then his then your thanks to Allah will not be accepted

01:05:17--> 01:05:28

Rasul Allah sent him said this hadith in Sahih JAMA, he said, The Lord is pleased with the pleasing of the parents and the Lord is angry with him who angers their parents.

01:05:30--> 01:06:11

jihad in the path of parents a hadith narrated by a TA Bharani. He said, that the prophet SAW sent him said, a man or that at the time, the prompts are seldom, a man passed by one day, showing eagerness and vigor, in seeking his means of livelihood, meaning the Sahaba as soon as the prompts are silent, and they saw a man passing by, he's going towards his work, but he was, you know, striving, looking here, working there in labor, earning his livelihood, the sahabas looked and sits upon a lower kind of a man is this, they said, jasola you know, we feel sorry for him, if only he could use his energy for the sake of Allah, in jihad, for example, or a saucer and turn to them and

01:06:11--> 01:06:33

said, If this man is going and working hard, in order to support his young children, which he has, then he is on jihad, or if he is working to support to elderly parents, which he has, then he is on jihad, and if he is working to support himself, so that he will not big than he is on jihad. But if he is doing that to show off

01:06:34--> 01:06:38

and full of pridefulness then it is in the path of the shaper.

01:06:41--> 01:06:43

So do you heard is through the parents as well?

01:06:44--> 01:07:01

Allah subhanaw taala praised the Fei Li his Salaam and mentioned Teresa alayhis salaam in the dutiful towards their parents in the Hadith, or Azusa Salim said inside Bukhari and Muslim when a man came to him and said, Yeah, Rasul Allah and you will know this Hadith, he said Yato Salalah.

01:07:02--> 01:07:09

Men Hakuna seabass of Betty, who are all the people has the most right of my companionship towards them,

01:07:10--> 01:07:16

or Azusa and my service or Azusa seldom replied omak. Your mother, he asked

01:07:17--> 01:07:27

some women, then who? He said, your mother. He said some women then who Yara Salalah. He said, I say your mother

01:07:28--> 01:07:34

called him and he said, who then called back then your father?

01:07:36--> 01:07:54

A lot of people ask this question, How can this be why even headjam Rama de la la comments by saying this is because the mother goes through three stages, stages which the father can never go through. Number one, she goes through the first stage of pregnancy. This is number one.

01:07:56--> 01:08:39

The second stage is delivery, the labor and then third stage is breastfeeding. And each one of these stages the father could never go through. This is why the prompts are sent him said your mother, your mother, your mother than your father. The father then comes into the stage of assisting the mother and the mother assisting the father in raising you. Also in the Sharia, if the father goes poor, and the son is able to help, then he must spend on his mother in precedence over his father. This is what this hadith means as well. My brothers and sisters in Islam. Now I go to the etiquettes and manners of how we must treat our parents in our daily life. My brothers and sisters Listen

01:08:39--> 01:08:40

carefully.

01:08:42--> 01:08:45

There is a story about Abba hora or the Allahu anhu.

01:08:47--> 01:08:55

He says, I was walking one time. And then I saw one of the companions the promise I sent him by the name of Abu Hassan.

01:08:56--> 01:08:57

Bobby.

01:08:59--> 01:09:03

I saw him walking in front of an elderly man.

01:09:05--> 01:09:11

He was walking and this young man was walking in front of an elderly man on their way.

01:09:12--> 01:09:18

I came up to this man about a son and I asked him and they were in Medina tomonaga.

01:09:20--> 01:09:24

I said Who is that elderly man walking behind you above

01:09:26--> 01:09:30

and above us and replied by saying that's my father.

01:09:32--> 01:09:36

But what I then stopped him and said the following words said Yeah.

01:09:38--> 01:09:44

You have missed correctness and you have contradicted the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

01:09:46--> 01:09:48

Do not walk in front of your father

01:09:49--> 01:09:52

only behind him or on his right side when he walks.

01:09:54--> 01:09:58

And do not let anyone separate between you and him while you are walking.

01:10:00--> 01:10:10

Do not take a bone that has meat on it to eat it, which your father has looked at, for he might have wanted that bone with the meat to eat it himself.

01:10:12--> 01:10:14

Do not look straight at your father,

01:10:15--> 01:10:34

towards his eyes and sharpness did not sit until he sits and do not sleep at home until he goes to sleep first, because maybe he will need something from you. Now, this is the ideal character towards our fathers and mothers. This Hadith is narrated in October, Ronnie,

01:10:37--> 01:10:46

some youngsters today, who don't understand the value of their parents until they become parents themselves. And then I realize when it's too late,

01:10:47--> 01:10:48

when it's too late.

01:10:51--> 01:10:52

What do they do?

01:10:54--> 01:10:59

When they are sitting on the table or on the mat with the eating.

01:11:00--> 01:11:04

I want to show you of ways that they disobey their parents and they don't realize

01:11:05--> 01:11:26

with this Western influence and other influences. If their mother and father asked them to do something which they don't like or too lazy to do, and the son or daughter is thinking of going on their PlayStation or their Wii game, or they've got someone to chat to on Facebook, you know, they've got something very important. What are they going to say? Hey, what are you doing today?

01:11:28--> 01:11:31

Did you listen to that last music clip?

01:11:34--> 01:11:57

Is that what you're doing tomorrow? Can I come with you? What are they saying? Chabad masala, una bella Mahima as the scholars say young people busy without any Judy. What are they busy about? I dyed my hair today blonde. I want to show you here. Did you get it on Facebook? Look? Do you like it? Ooh, that's really good. OMG

01:12:03--> 01:12:19

are the boys too busy for their parents wanting to go on Facebook or chit chatter in a wish to have MSN but now it's died out right? This is for the you know, the youngsters now that are coming up and saying, Hey, did you meet her? Tell me Tell me. What did you talk about? You're gonna go on another date with her.

01:12:21--> 01:13:04

Our youngsters have got several heads. Now. Unfortunately, in the past, in the past, our parents used to be afraid when their children when we used to go out into the streets. They used to think where are they going, who they're walking around with. So when we're at home, they feel safe. Today unfortunately the great sorrow. It has become the opposite. The children sitting at home in their own bedroom. And they are worse off in what they are doing on the internet than then being outside. They are exploring everything and doing everything in their own bedroom and never I mean, it's for me this is something abnormal. For me a child is meant to be outside playing man.

01:13:06--> 01:13:15

What is a child doing inside they've reached the ground that children by saying go to your bedroom. Go to your room and they say I want to get a room and my friends are waiting now.

01:13:17--> 01:13:19

We have to ground them by saying go outside and play.

01:13:21--> 01:13:54

The child says I don't want to play Come on. I want to stay inside the bedroom. Why do you want to sit inside the bedroom he finally got there and internet and laptop. I advise you parents and I know that the youngster is gonna hate me for this. I didn't care you know hate me. Alright, hate me because I'm going to say it in your face. parents never leave the Internet of the computer in their budget. Don't buy them one to keep for themselves. Always keep it out in the lounge where everybody can see. Keep it on the table and turn it around so that even guests can see it. Everyone established a bit of trust with them giving you a password for one of your accounts but make your

01:13:54--> 01:14:00

private accounts with a separate password so that you can establish trust between them. We're going to talk about that in shadowline today's about youth culture.

01:14:01--> 01:14:12

But anyway, children they're sitting on the table and they don't like what their parents are asking them. So they bring a cup of tea drinking it parents asked him son Can you please take out the rubbish bag?

01:14:13--> 01:14:14

they slam the cup on the table

01:14:15--> 01:14:19

or they get up and they listen to their parents but the way they go is like this.

01:14:24--> 01:14:36

After doing what they do the mum and dad say Allah Hello Dalek. May Allah Subhana Allah be pleased with you son or daughter. And you know they grow a head when a mom and dad say these things. So spread the gun to their room and slam the door

01:14:38--> 01:14:42

or they look at their parents sharply. You have disobeyed them.

01:14:43--> 01:14:44

Or they

01:14:45--> 01:14:47

what do they do? They they

01:14:49--> 01:14:52

they shrivel their lips like that.

01:14:53--> 01:14:54

And they breathe heavily.

01:14:55--> 01:14:59

What can't you ask my system? How can I always have to do this? How can we have to do everything

01:15:00--> 01:15:15

Can't the boys do the dishes sometimes always be oh and the poor parent is sitting there then then the mother ends up going up and doing the dishes and vacuuming and doing while the parent while the children's are fighting. Allahu Akbar should be racing each other towards that there is paradise there is paradise.

01:15:18--> 01:15:20

Sometimes they go

01:15:21--> 01:15:22

far out.

01:15:24--> 01:15:30

Allah subhanaw taala did not say in the Quran Don't even say far out to them. It said don't even say

01:15:31--> 01:15:47

Rasul saw Selim says, which is narrated by Evan at best, he says, if there was in the Arabic language, a word that was more in conspicious, more subtle, more simpler, more or less in meaning than off a lot would have mentioned it in the Quran.

01:15:51--> 01:16:04

Far out is worse. Oh my God, is double worse. How can you say Oh My God, my God tells you obey them and you say oh my God, who are you really disobeying here? Your God or your parents?

01:16:05--> 01:16:06

Allah.

01:16:08--> 01:16:11

So these are worse than that.

01:16:14--> 01:16:17

Rasul Salim in Sahih Bukhari

01:16:19--> 01:16:33

Abdullah Abdullah says A man came to the prophet SAW sent him to give him allegiance saying, I have come to give my br my allegiance to perform hijra to Medina in Egypt. We all know how important that is. But I left my parents crying

01:16:34--> 01:16:51

in hand if he doesn't mention whether his parents were Muslim or not, he says I lived my parents crying, Rasul Allah, but also saw Selim said to him, then go back and make them laugh as you made them cry. Then you can go and hit euro with me. This Hadith is a Muslim document.

01:16:54--> 01:17:01

There will become a time when people will curse their parents. These are the signs the last hour and you will find this hadith in Sahih, German

01:17:02--> 01:17:04

and inside Muslim and Buhari

01:17:05--> 01:17:39

how they will curse their parents. People will disown their parents and become disobedient to them. I also saw Selim said, Indeed on the Day of Judgment, Allah has servants, which He will not speak to them, nor will he purify them, nor will he look at them. And sahabas asked them who are the Rasul Allah, he said, Those who disowned and abandoned their parents and those who disowned their children and those who and the person who was granted a favor by people, but they deny it and they disowned these people. And this hadith is a Muslim.

01:17:40--> 01:17:45

Cutting off your parents is the worst of sin and cutting off their relatives and friends is also a great sin.

01:17:47--> 01:17:53

There is a beautiful stone, I wish if you can give me five more minutes, I just want to end it with this inner strength in sha Allah.

01:17:54--> 01:18:08

And I want to just cover a little bit about when parents died. There was a young man who came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam complaining to the messenger sallallahu Sallam he said to him, yet I saw the law. My father takes my money, he always asked me for money.

01:18:09--> 01:18:10

I also saw send them said,

01:18:12--> 01:18:13

Well call your father.

01:18:15--> 01:18:17

He went to call his father

01:18:18--> 01:18:22

gibril alayhis. Salam came to the prophet SAW send them in that time.

01:18:23--> 01:18:25

And he said to him, but I saw a lot

01:18:26--> 01:18:28

when the father comes to you.

01:18:30--> 01:18:40

Ask him what you want. But ask him this question as well. Ask him what were you saying in secret on your way here?

01:18:42--> 01:19:14

Father was muttering something which his son couldn't hear. He said ask him what he was saying. When the father approached us also I sent him asked him Is it true what your son is saying? The father said the Arizona law if he only knew what I'm using his money for Anyway, I'm using it to look after his poor Auntie she has left without anybody. Where else am I putting it only in places where I have to using it towards his family? Because I'm poor. The professor sent him said look, us I want to ask you a question. Tell me about what you were seeing in secret when you are coming towards being here.

01:19:15--> 01:19:24

The father looked at the SLM and said, I made some verses of poetry. But also saw Selim said please say them to me.

01:19:26--> 01:19:26

And he said,

01:19:27--> 01:19:30

though to come unglued and why?

01:19:32--> 01:19:45

to Alabama edge in a highly coveted and Halo either La La twin, Kirby souk, Milan, Airbnb soapmaker Eliza here on FML menu, which means Oh son,

01:19:47--> 01:19:49

I nourished you when you were a baby.

01:19:51--> 01:19:55

And I looked after you in care as you grew up until you became an adolescent.

01:19:58--> 01:19:59

You lived upon what I

01:20:00--> 01:20:04

Worked for and strived and sacrificed in my body and time and wealth.

01:20:06--> 01:20:08

So that you may live healthy.

01:20:10--> 01:20:22

Whenever a night passed you when you were sick or ill or coughed, I was the first to be up, carrying you and looking upon you with my heart. afraid

01:20:23--> 01:20:28

if an atom or a little breeze would harm you in any way

01:20:29--> 01:20:34

I could not sleep while you'd seen us sick until you slept and then I slept.

01:20:36--> 01:20:51

get any animal moto Kaduna cabbie lazy DirecTV. dooney fine, he attacked me. No. He said, when I cease to see you sick. It was as if I was the one who was sick and ill and so my eyes would always overwhelmed with tears, but you never knew.

01:20:56--> 01:21:06

And then he said, Phelim bellota sin nawalgarh yetta, Letty Illa. Mme, according to FICO, Emilio jalta, just a

01:21:08--> 01:21:08

button

01:21:11--> 01:21:43

below, he said, and when you finally reach the adulthood, which all my life I was anticipating, and looking forward to seeing you become that, I mean, this is all he's doing right is raising and waiting for the day he's going to get married, the day when he will get his qualifications and finish the day when he will get his skill the day when he can stand on his feet, the day when he will rejoice. He said, until you reach the day when I have all my life anticipated in my heart to see you reach and rejoice. You gave me a reward, and your reward was harshness.

01:21:45--> 01:21:53

And frown Enos and mistreatment as if I am the one who owes you and you owe me nothing.

01:21:55--> 01:21:58

The way you treated me is like what a neighbor would treat his neighbor.

01:22:00--> 01:22:10

I wish that you even gave me that. or so. So I send them. He looked up at the Father and the Father looked at him and the process has Be it was soaked with tears

01:22:11--> 01:22:19

from his emotion or a salsa sanlam grabbed the boy from his chest. He shook him and said to him and look at

01:22:21--> 01:22:22

you

01:22:23--> 01:22:26

and everything you own, belongs to your father.

01:22:29--> 01:22:32

This Hadith is narrated in imagine

01:22:33--> 01:22:39

today we see children taking their own parents to court because they took their house or their property.

01:22:40--> 01:22:52

Allahu Akbar. And finally my brothers and sisters in Islam, or Azusa Salam was asked by a man who came to him and this hadith is in sunon Aveda wood, he asked him

01:22:54--> 01:23:07

while the companions were sitting there, they said a man from bento selama came to the prophet SAW Selim one day and said Yara Salalah law, is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after they have died?

01:23:10--> 01:23:17

Or also saw son and replied, Yes, there are four things that I can tell you right now. Making dua for Allah to forgive them.

01:23:19--> 01:23:52

brother sister, sisters don't think that if they've died, that our duty towards them has been cut off, you still have a duty until your death making the art for them from law to forgive them until your death number two, to fulfill their promises and their will which they have left behind. Number three, to be generous to their friends. If you knew that they had friends be generous towards them whether you like them or don't. Number four, keep relationships with those whom you are related to through them like uncle's Auntie's.

01:23:53--> 01:23:54

Brother.

01:23:55--> 01:24:03

Relatives cousins are also SAS and have said this is what kindness remains towards them after their death.

01:24:04--> 01:24:51

In another Hadith, he says perform Hajj on their behalf. This is why Abu Dawood and Alberni says it's so here give charity on their behalf the Hadith in Sahih Muslim making up compulsory fasting which you know that they missed out on this hadith is is a Muslim and Sahih Bukhari Hadith number 1851 and Hadith 1147. Also fulfilling their vows and debts if they owe people money or whatever, then fulfill it for them this hadith in Sahih Bukhari maintaining the ties and also as Adam said, the best of good deeds is keeping ties with father's friends and this hadith is inside Muslim. Again, dealing with non Muslim parents. I say it one more time. Dealing with non Muslim parents is

01:24:51--> 01:24:58

also a duty to be done in goodness, obeying them of forbidden things is haram.

01:24:59--> 01:24:59

But

01:25:00--> 01:25:02

obeying them in everything else is a must.

01:25:03--> 01:25:37

parents if they tell you to do something of an act which Allah loves, but it is only voluntary, and they say to you don't do it yet, you must obey them. For example, you want to pray enough and pray. And your mother says to you, son, daughter just helped me out before you pray. What do you do? Pray first, or go to your mother first. Go to your mother, first father, sister, your son, can you help me calculate these earnings today? And you are about to go and do a father a sooner you listen to your father or do you do your son, you listen to your father that is more important.

01:25:39--> 01:26:19

A parent says to you son, come out with today I need you to go with me on a journey, which requires a bit of work you say but it's too hot. I want to fast today voluntary fasting. Do you listen to your father or fast voluntary fasting? Mmm. And Noah is the one who gives this photo by the way, he was asked these questions. He said you listen to your father and help him that is more important than voluntary fasting and prayer at the Allahu anhu when his mother was a disbeliever he went to her one day and she abused the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam so he went and complains that promises sell them and the prophets of Allah sent them said to me about hora, be good towards still

01:26:19--> 01:27:00

and Abu hurayrah said, Can you make it too hard for a lot of guide my mother. I also saw a cell and made that to her. He said I went back home and my mother would not open the door. She said Son don't come in on bathing. After she bathed. She put her clothes on and came out to me and said eyeshadow Allah Allah Illallah Muhammadan rasul Allah, Abu hurayrah. From that day, his relationship with his mother was so intense that till today, we use a variety of the Allahu anhu in most of the Hadees in relation to how to treat his mother and father. They used to say, why does an operator eat with his mother? He said, because I fear that if my mother has her eye, on a piece of food, and I may reach

01:27:00--> 01:27:09

for it without knowing I would have disobeyed my mother. I want her to eat what she loves. And then I will eat the crusts. obey your parents, my dear brothers and sisters.

01:27:10--> 01:27:46

Even if it goes against your own personal choices, for example, you buy something that you like, your parents says, Don't buy that you buy a car, you want a motorbike. They say don't buy that son or daughter, obey them, even if you want to. Don't say to them, this is my right. Why don't you let me go out? Why don't you let me buy this all my friends have a mobile phone, all my friends, they've got this and they've got that all my friends, they get to go out to parties and here and there. How come I can't go and you sit there disobeying appearance of Allah, you are in great strife if you do so my brother and sister. Because one day, Allah will give you children who will do the same things.

01:27:46--> 01:27:53

This is how the predecessors were. And this is how they were all role models. Lastly, mm Ahmed Mohammed, has anyone heard of him?

01:27:54--> 01:28:01

Mm hmm. I'll finish it with this. You know, in this day and age, they have this silly, silly statement.

01:28:02--> 01:28:06

When someone listens to their mother or father too much.

01:28:07--> 01:28:10

Right? They actually insult that person.

01:28:11--> 01:28:15

And if a person listens to his mother a lot, they say he's a mummy's boy.

01:28:17--> 01:28:34

You know, one sister once came along after giving a lecture and he's, as she said, you know, a brother has asked for me my hand in marriage. I said, Good. Who is he? She said, someone said, I said, Michelle is a great man. She said, but you know, they're saying that he comes from, you know, him and his siblings. They said that they're mommy's boys.

01:28:35--> 01:28:38

I said, That's why you should marry him that

01:28:39--> 01:28:47

said, Why? Okay, if he treats his mother that well, then he's going to treat you well. If he treats his sister as well, he's going to treat you well.

01:28:48--> 01:28:52

is good to females is good to women. Mm hmm. To handle.

01:28:55--> 01:28:55

His mother

01:28:58--> 01:29:03

became a widow when she was only 18 or 17 years old.

01:29:04--> 01:29:06

Her son was an orphan.

01:29:08--> 01:29:10

she vowed never to get married

01:29:11--> 01:29:14

in order to raise her son and give him the best education.

01:29:17--> 01:30:00

Mm, Achmed never got married until he was 14 years old. You know why? Because he vowed that he will never replace his mother with anyone will have a distraction so that he can repay what his mother sacrificed. She died when he was 14. In all those years, he never disobeyed his mother in any way. In fact, he used to go out with his friend Yeah, he had been nine. And one day he said to him, let's cross Let's cross the tub area, the Tigris River. There is a scholar on the other side so we can learn knowledge from and he was 21 years old. He said to him, No, I can't cross the Tigris River. He said we just crossed

01:30:00--> 01:30:12

thing over man, you're 21 year old we're seeking knowledge. He said that my mother told me never to cross the Tigris River. And many other stories about him. Do we call him a mama's boy? No.

01:30:13--> 01:30:14

No.

01:30:15--> 01:30:21

For he knows that they're her feet. If he serves them their lies, gentlemen, my brothers and sisters.

01:30:22--> 01:30:26

I ended with this. The Hadith of the Prophet SAW sandwiches in Buhari

01:30:29--> 01:30:34

your parents or your heaven or they are your health

01:30:35--> 01:30:45

by the obedience and Judy Phyllis to your parents, you are obeying and being dutiful to Allah. And through them is your agenda. Or jahannam Well, I

01:30:46--> 01:31:00

I hope that this lesson was a wake up call for all of us. Go my brothers and sisters tonight and renew your covenant with Allah. Secondly, renewal with your parents go down and kiss their feet.

01:31:01--> 01:31:13

Kiss their feet, literally. And say to them, Mum and Dad, forgive me for any time where I was killers towards you. I want paradise and you are my door towards it.

01:31:14--> 01:31:16

and repent to Allah subhanho wa Taala

01:31:18--> 01:31:23

May Allah subhanho wa Taala make you among the successful a llama for lenez and Obinna Allahu

01:31:24--> 01:31:49

Akbar wayna. suburban little holding and gentlemen, I ask Allah Subhana Allah to forgive our sins and to make our parents one of the causes of us entering paradise. I asked the last panel dialer to make us good parents and to give us an offspring who are righteous and comforting to our eyes. I asked Allah subhanho wa Taala to unite this oma and to return us back to the glory which we once have had that was a lot higher and abena Mohammed while early or Satya Germain will handle it.

01:31:51--> 01:31:52

Santa Monica