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How Do We Take Care of Our Children

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Ali Albarghouthi

Channel: Ali Albarghouthi

Episode Notes

Friday Prayer Khutbah

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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In Alhamdulillah Hina Ahmed who wants to and who want to stop Pharaoh wanna oh the Will he mean surely and fusina will see Dr. Marina Mejia de la who Philomel de la la well my ugly fella ha de Allah, wa shadow Allah ilaha illallah Hua hula Sharika one no Muhammad and Abu Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa and early he was so happy he was salam, a MOBA in Hyrule, Hadith he Kitab Allah heeta Allah wa Hyrule Hadiya do Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam were short on Ohmori Mahathir to her Wakulla Mahadeva teen Vida Wakulla V the team Bala who love Allah Allah infinite

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and my bad.

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Allah tells us in the Quran and Mal will be known as Xena tool hayati, dunya, their wealth, money and children are a beauty of this life.

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And Allah here is telling us something that we know is something that we feel he affirms it subhanho wa Taala that having children is something that is desirable is full of full of it filled with joy.

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It is something that in the nature of humans,

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something they seek

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naturally, even without someone having to tell them so even even though in the modern age or fitrah has shifted considerably, but is still in the fifth row of humanity. Having children is something that they desire and it fills somebody's lives with joy. And you will see in the Quran that among the things that the righteous are asking Allah azza wa jal for is children, but not only children, but pious and righteous children. So you see Zecharia and he Salam

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when he says what cannot be Marathi, after Rafa Hubballi Mila Dukkha Walia urethral Newari flamin Alia Kubo Jan Hora Bureau the year.

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He's explaining to Allah azza wa jal in the DUA Allah knows very well. He says, My wife cannot have children. So grant me from you a wily eprice to his righteous child, who will inherit from me and from the household of Jacoba Alayhis Salam inherit what of course inherited the prophet hood. What Allah loves, what Allah hora bairrada Ya Allah make him pleasant in his religion and his character, so people will be pleased with him and he will be pleased with you era Bill Alameen grande myths such a child.

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In another space, he says when it came to our second era, cholera be heavily Milla don't carry it on to Eber Nikka Samuel dua, when he saw with Madame what are the Allahu anha when he saw that Kurama

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she having the food with no one presenting that or bringing that food for her except directly from Allah azza wa jal, he says Hoonah alaka. At that moment, he prayed to Allah azza wa jal grant me a righteous progeny

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and also in the dua of the righteous

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or banner hablan I mean, as well as you know, with reality now Kurata you know, Jana limitata, Anna, Emma, Yet Allah grant us, from our spouses and from our children, what will please our eyes, and make us role models for the righteous. So in that dua,

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the righteous person who is every one of us if we decide to be righteous, we're asking Allah azza wa jal grantors, righteous spouses,

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because you're not going to have righteous children without righteous spouses, and grant us righteous children who will be pleasant to our eyes pleasing to you and pleasing to us. And also included in that to make us also pious enough that others when they look at us, they want to follow in our footsteps, role models,

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while slightly theory it also in the Quran, fix my progeny. And here specifically, it means fix my children and the children, my children and so on. So in my birria in my extended the Ria, make them righteous era Bell Allah mean.

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So there is this dua which emphasizes what that it is a great pleasure to have such a thing.

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But as it is a Nirma, you understand that it's a responsibility as well, whenever Allah gives you a NEMA, he's also testing you with that NEMA to see what do you do with it? And how do you handle it? And does it bring you closer to Allah or do you waste it

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do this take you away from him subhanho wa taala. So when Allah says in the ayah, you hold Adina M and O QU and full circle mwah Alikum. Now Waku to Hana. So what hedger are you who have Eman, protect yourselves and your families from a fire that is fueled by rocks and fire, meaning a very intense fire that feeds on these things to inflame and further destroy. He says what? Protect yourselves and your families.

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So now when you get married,

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you now with the Add have the added responsibility of protecting yourself from hellfire and your spouse, and when you decide to have a child. Now you have the added responsibility of protecting that child also from hellfire. So included in that command, anything that brings you and them closer to Allah should be followed.

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And anything that should take you away from Allah azza wa jal should be avoided, not only for you now, but now you're responsible you are Araya, you're a shepherd. You will watch over them to see what is pleasant to Allah. Bring them closer to it, and it to them. Encourage them to

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love Allah azza wa jal to worship Allah teach them be that role model that will inspire them, and anything that will take them away from Allah azza wa jal, you should run away from it. And you should also drag them away from it. And Allah will ask you about all of that in combination to see Did you preserve that NEMA or not?

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So we often talk about the rights of the parents, and it's important to talk about the rights of the parents. But notice that Allah azza wa jal also commands us to observe the rights of the children as well.

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Allah says, well, we'll sign it in Santa bydd. We asked the human being to take care of his parents. And Allah also says you will see Kamala Viola decom, Allah also asks you to take care of your children, you will see como la Viola.

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And some of us

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think that once I have a child, my main responsibility is financial.

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I need to be a good provider.

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And I need to make sure that they go to a good school

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and graduate from that into a good university. And from that take a good job. So our imagination of responsibility and success is purely materialistic. Enough money, they eat, they drink, they have a shelter, they graduate and they get married, and it's simply a materialistic success. And we says yes and no. Yes, you have materialistic financial responsibilities, but these are not the most important of responsibilities.

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To address the financial responsibility of Rasulullah he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said GAFA Bill Maher, easemon or Yuliya Yakut it is sufficient sin for someone to neglect the ones that he has to provide for meaning here financial neglect. You have children, you have a spouse and needed to support them. But out of laziness, stinginess or what have you, without no excuse you don't spend on them. This total year is very sinful.

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And someone, everyone has to be responsible enough that when you say I'm gonna get married, I'm going to take care of that person who am I'm going to bring into my life. When I'm going to have a child, I'm going to be taking care of that child that I'm bringing into my life, according to your own means. But here, this hadith is talking about a financial responsibilities and unfortunately at times, we have some fathers who neglect their children and neglect their families and they go off somewhere and they do not support them. And Allah will ask you about this. You decided to get married and you decided to have children and you have to take care of them.

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But if that's the case, when it comes to financial responsibility, what do you think about it when it comes to more of religious responsibility when you have a child and you neglect them and you do not teach them?

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Allah azza wa jal is going to ask you about all of that. Well ask us about the fact that when we had these children,

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and he said Alayhi Salatu was Salam Kulu then you will have to Allah fitrah

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every newborn is born on the fitrah and Fitzroy is explained as this pure innate nature and also is explained as Islam meaning in them at that moment when they were very young, they have Islam in them

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and then he said also salatu salam continuing that hadith Baba who you how we Danny he Oh, you will not see Ronnie he Oh, you met Giussani it is his

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Parents who turn him to become Jewish or Christian or Zoroastrian.

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It's not the fitzer of Allah azza wa jal.

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So this means that when Allah gives you this child, he's giving you a Muslim on the fitrah. Yes, they will have individual peculiar traits to them. Some are stubborn, some are social, some are reclusive, some are inquisitive, you have to know these individual traits in them, and cultivate all of that. But Allah azza wa jal had given you something that you could mold into almost anything.

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This person could be righteous, or very wicked,

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someone who's productive or very destructive. It depends on what do you do, and how much effort you put into raising that child, you could make him a good Muslim, with the help of Allah azza wa jal and with dua,

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or he could what be what against her, it depends on what you do, and how much you invest. And if you could turn a person from Muslim into a catheter based on what you teach them, you can understand your influence.

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You could be a very positive influence, or a very destructive, dramatic influence in the life of their child, so understand the fragility of that human being that you have right next to you. And he's looking up to you male or female, father or mother, he's looking up to you to see what do you do and how you act? And how will you respond. And he's gonna copy all of that, and reproduce it later. So when you see his manners later on, you are seeing the reproduction of your manners and reproduction of your investment or neglect. manifest in him.

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So you see Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he said, Morrow, I will add the Combi Salah to the sub command them to pray at the age of seven

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means that there is here a moral obligation on you not to simply say I'm providing and that's it.

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Not to simply say, I'm going to ship them to somebody else to teach them or break them and drop them in the masjid somebody else will be teaching them. And thinking that that is the limit of your responsibility. The first teacher that your children have is you.

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And they're looking at your Salah.

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And looking at your conversation, and looking at your emotions, and looking at how you respond to them when they ask you questions. And if you have a good connection with them, you will be able to continue to influence them later on in life. And if you are distant, there is no chance for you to be able to influence or to read to direct because there's already a gap between you and them.

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See, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when you see in his car, he was very close to his children. And he's very close to his grandchildren. Alayhi Salatu was Salam.

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And because of that, they loved him. They listened to him and the rest of Muslims around blood that and they could see that from him out of his Salatu was Salam. So when it came for, for instance, to Fathima his daughter, Radi Allahu Allah and one of the instances Fatima knocks on the door. He goes to the door and he hears salatu salam receives her goes back with her and he sits her right next to him.

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And he honors her and he kisses her.

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And that is the love that he had for Fawlty model the Allahu Allah and it's very well known with Al Hassan and Hussein all the Allahu Anhu ummah. He would kiss them abundantly. And he said Mala your Honda you will have the one who does not have Rama will not receive Rama. And when a bed when a nomad noticed how close Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam was to his children, he said, I've never kissed any of my children. He says what do I do if you have no Rama in your heart?

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So Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was close and your children want to see that you are very close to them.

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They want to see that you talk to them, they want to see that you care. And as we said you are the very first person who will teach them and your your lessons have more impact than many of the other people that they will meet and many of the other teachers that they will encounter.

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And you see it there in the Quran also what Allah azza wa jal is telling us about look man

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when he says we've caught out of man Houdini he will wire it. Woohoo, yeah buena yella to shake biller in the Sharika lagoon Alvin.

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He says Allah says and remember when look man was giving advice to his child and he said oh my son, do not commit shuriken Allah azza wa jal because indeed that is great injustice and just study the sequence of the IRA and how look man speaks for you to understand that there's already a connection between look man and his son, and how he addresses him. Yeah, Boonie here. Oh, my son, a very gentle love.

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Very emotional connection between a man and his child. And when he says to him what the first advice that he wants to give to him is what? Don't commit chicken Allah azza wa jal, that is the best legacy that you can leave to your children is not the money that you have given them is not the house and the shelter is not the family name is not the reputation but that they should have Islam.

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That is the greatest reminder. And Allah tells us about the prophets of Allah azza wa jal will also behave Rahim will bunny he will yaku that Allah azza wa jal tells us about Ibrahim and Jacoba Hema, Salem

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that do not die except as Muslims.

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And then he tells us also I'm going to show it how do I approve a note? It says you will not witnesses when the book was about to die, and he gathered his children. And he asked them What will you should worship after me metabolome in Kaduna, Abu Isla kawaii We will worship your ILA and the law of your forefathers when you die you usually concentrate on the thing that matters the most to you. Some people want they died, Cather everybody and they will say what are you going to do with the money? What are you gonna do with the house? What are you going to do with this in that the inheritance of the prophets of Allah and indeed the most precious of thing is what will you worship?

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Who will you worship after? Hold on to Islam hold on to your to hate hold on to your earth either? Hold on to your Salah.

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So this is a thing that you will have to teach to your children. And we'll look man continues when he says yeah Bucha Yeah, in the in Tacoma Fukada Huberty McArdle further confused Sakara Officer Ma to fill out the RTB Hala he says here he explains to his son what not simply

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worship Allah and that's it. Pray on time and that's it. He's explained to him who Allah is.

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He says, Oh My Son, listen to it, oh my son. If it's like a mustard seed, and it is hidden inside a rock and that is rock is in in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring in

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explaining to him the power of Allah azza wa jal

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explaining to him the extent of the Majesty of Allah. Now just simply say, worship Allah, but worship Allah and love Allah And fear Allah and be close to Allah subhanho wa taala. Because when you know Allah, you would want to worship Him. And this conversation is a conversation that should be had.

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It's not something that somebody else will do on your behalf.

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It is something that you need to live,

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to understand, to communicate

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and to impress upon your children. And when your children see that, then your children will see that there is something valuable that their father and their mother is giving to them. When they see that the commands contradict the actions contradicts the lifestyle, they will immediately know that what is being said, is of no significance. Thus they tell us to pray, but it doesn't really matter. Yes, they tell us to read the Quran, but it has no impact on our lives. These are perfunctory duties, things that should be done first simply to please the parents. But what really matters is something else that happens right after that.

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Ask Allah azza wa jal to guide us in this dunya and in the earthhero and make us the best of parents. I mean your bill Alamy.

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hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen Hamdan cathedra on tube and Mubarak and Fie, who also li wa salam ala Rasulillah Hey, Mohamed early he was so happy you're sending them a bad look man at his command or the Allahu Anhu he continues by saying Hakim is salata watermarble ruffian honeymoon car was better Allah Azza indolic I mean azmin OMO

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after he addresses the worship of Allah azza wa jal and who Allah is and how Allah should be esteemed, he also tells his son, Hakim is Salah, stablish, the Salah

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and that again that command will not be effective unless that person sees from you that you've established the salah from a very young age, the salah really mattered to you and a Salah is performed not simply for the sake of what finishing the Salah, but a Salah that is a connection between you and Allah azza wa jal so talk to them about why Salah is important to you talk to them about why they should worship Allah as of to not just simply bark at them go and pray and they're resisting because they're playing with something else.

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Tell them why Salah really matters. What more when ModelView unhaggle munkar once used

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abolitionists Allah, then address the people around you. If you see something that is good, push it forward. If you see something that is evil, speak out against it, and have the strength to be the kind of person who can do this was to be Adama Asaba can be patient with the things that will happen to you tell them that this life will bring terrible things to you and me, but tell them that if you have patience, you will be able to be overcome that by the will of Allah azza wa jal teach him what patience is and teach them why they should be patient, how they should be patient, with haram to stay away from it, patients with a burden so that they would do it, despite the difficulty and

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patients with Allah has decreased to understand why bad things usually or has the time septums happen, and how to deal with that.

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And then when he finishes that he addresses the edit. Well, I've heard that the nurse he will attempt to fill out the model in Hola Hola, Yo, bucola Metallian the whole works at FEMA Shikha. What are those mean? Solotica in Kerala, Swatara SOTL. Honey,

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it's not only now a burden, but also add up. Don't be arrogant with people. Don't be arrogant around them. And when you walk, walk with a moderate pace with dignity on you Don't raise your voice when you talk. Indeed, the words of voices are the voices of donkeys.

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That is a character that is an adverb that they will take from you. And you see here the spectrum of the conversation goes from to hate into a bad into how you deal with people into the man or is in character that you should have? Do we have these conversations with our children? Do we tell them these things? Do we showcase these things? Are we intimate enough and close enough to them that we can have these conversations.

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There are obviously a generational gap between a father, a mother and their children.

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But you can bridge that gap. The gap, of course, because there is culture and the culture is very different. Things change rapidly. There's a difference in age, and you have experiences and wisdom that they do not have yet. But basically, the human condition does not change. All of us understand what loss is, what despair is what hope is.

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And we hope for the same thing. We wish for the same thing. We're afraid of the same things. So you can talk to your kids and they can talk to you. And you should be comfortable enough close enough to talk to them about things that are happening around them.

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And for that you need to acquaint yourself with that. What is happening at their school, weather what is happening in their neighborhoods, what are they reading? How are they spending their time, you can simply hand them a phone and tell them spend as many hours on it as you wish or hang out with friends that I do not know about as many hours as you wish and expect them to be righteous after that expect for your words to matter to them. If you have not inoculated, if you have not established a presence mentally in their heads of what is right and what is wrong. You cannot allow the cultural trends to come and sweep them off and expect that there still will be okay. You have to

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put limits. And these limits are important until they are old enough for them to make their own choices. But social media as they are a young age Subhanallah even for adults, even for adults who are completely fully formed, it is very toxic. You understand that social media for adults in your 20s 30s 40s 50s it's very toxic and destructive. And you're giving that to teenagers, and you expect that they will grow normal.

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They should not touch Social Media at least until they're after college. And I'm not exaggerating, until after college, you don't need it. You're a need to spend your time doing something more useful. You don't need social media at this moment. And you don't need bad friends. But be aware of what is around them so you could talk to them. So you could precede a calamity before it happens. This and this is happening. Let me tell you about it before you even encounter it. And instill in them the love of Allah azza wa jal and the fear of Allah. And let's emphasize both, not just simply fear Allah fear Allah and fear Allah and the fear Allah is fundamental. It's a pillar of our iman,

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but also teach them at the same time that they should love Allah subhanho wa Taala how to love him how to be close to him, because a bird that in its in its essence, is about the love of Allah subhanho wa Taala why this Salah is important for you to establish a connection with Allah. Why this dua is important for you to continuously talk to him. subhanho wa Taala why the vicar of Allah will bring life back to your heart and chase away anxiety and depression. chase away the gloominess that you may feel because of what life

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throws at you.

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So teach them the love of Allah azza wa jal. And if you teach him these things, these will be the anchors that will keep them close to him subhanho wa taala. But if we neglect them, and all of us, if we look at someone who neglected his children financially, we will blame them. While they will, we will deserve more blame, if we neglect them religiously. And ultimately, after you do everything, never give up making dua for them, no matter what they have done, no matter what their state they are in at this moment, no matter how young they are, and you should start actually before they are born, but even if they are young, at this age, keep making dua for them. Because if you make dua,

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you're asking Allah azza wa jal to take care of them. And if you do your job, and you must do your job, you cannot just simply rely I'm just going to make dua and do nothing. Make dua and do your best. When you when you make dua, you're asking Allah to take care of them.

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And who is a better caretaker than Allah. So we ask Allah Allah will allow me to protect our children and the children our of our children, we ask Allah to make us righteous, and make them righteous, whereas Allah azza wa jal to make them of the sadaqa jariya that we leave behind. Whereas Allah Allah Allah means to make us of the people of Jana. None of the people of hellfire whilst you will allow me to keep us all close to you, away from what displeases you, and close to what pleases you Euro bill Alameen wa as you are, but allow me to guide us all to the straight path by us this will allow me to make Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam our inspiration our role model was your

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will allow me to make us of those who love righteousness and strive towards it and hate wickedness and run away from it the horrible enemy Yet Allah grant us on our children good friends era Bill Alameen yo Allah grant us and them good company and good friends Yara Bill Alameen, makers of those who spend their times wisely, makers of those who raised their children correctly, makers of those Yara Bill Alameen who protect themselves and children from hellfire was your bill Allah me to guide us to what you love and away from what you hate? Allahumma attina for dunya Hasina will associate the Hasina Joaquina either Banagher Lucha Libre colo visa Ruben Allah de la Hama Yamazaki Felco Ruby

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