Yasir Qadhi – How to Control Anger

			Today's brief quarter I just want to go over four or five practical points about how we can
eliminate or control that anger how we can eliminate or control that anger and of the great Roma who
have discussed this is Imam Al Ghazali and his inheritor Medina, other books, you will find
discussions of anger claim as well talks about the issue of anger and how to deal with it. Three or
four basic points number one
		

			of the primary causes of anger is an over inflation of our own ego. Think about it. When we value
ourselves more than it is worthy to be valued. Then we became we become angry at something that we
should not be angry about. If we are humble, if we are meek. If we don't have Kibera, automatically,
this will eliminate our anger. And that's why Allah says in the Quran, we're about to Rahman,
Alladhina Yamuna and out of the whole way the hot Abuja, Hironaka Lu, Salah Hama rabada Rahman, the
true servants of Allah are those who walk with humility in this earth. And then when the riffraff
the rough eons the falls, when the hooligans tried to provoke them. They say salaam, notice how does
		

			the ayah begin? They have humility. How does the eye end when they are provoked? They say salaam we
don't need that there is a causal linkage between humility and controlling your anger, one of the
main causes of anger, to be brutally honest, we need to think about that. We inflate our own pride,
we have a sense of worth that is not correct. When we humble ourselves for the sake of Allah. If
somebody says something, no big deal. What am I anyway? Who cares? If somebody says something about
us, we don't have ego in the first place. So eliminating our ego helps control our anger. That's why
I showed the Allah one has said the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never got angry, never
		

			extracted vengeance because of a personal thing between him and somebody else. Only for the sake of
Allah only for the sake of religion, that's when the anger would come not for his own self. So
number one, to eliminate anger. Eliminate your what? Ego, your kibble your pride Be humble. Number
two, to eliminate anger.
		

			Eliminate vulgar vocabularies from your tongue.
		

			Eliminate vulgar vocabularies, it is not of the etiquettes of the Muslim of the Mothman to use bad
language, when you use bad language, the other person will increase the bad language, then you will
then he then you then he and then what will happen will happen. Our Prophet sallallahu sallam said
four are the characteristics of the hypocrite. And the second of them when he argues he uses foul
language. Dear Muslim, and especially dear young Muslim, and especially dear teenage male, it is not
cool to utter vulgarities Wallahi it is not cool. It's not something that will gain you any respect.
If you know curse words we all know you know curse words. What's the big deal Ctrl it don't use
		

			vulgarities to get your point across the movement has a clean tongue. When you use vulgarities in
your state of anger, the other person will then increase it even more. And then the whole issue of
evil consequences of anger is going to come and our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never
uttered a vulgarity in his whole life. He did not utter anything of an indecent nature, we
eliminated from our tongues. Number three, to eliminate anger to eliminate the dangers of anger is
the more precise thing number three, we eliminate even argumentation. We eliminate argumentation
don't argue. Just let it go. Don't argue. If you don't argue the anger is going to just dissipate
		

			the fact that you have to argue the point. Now we're talking about personal issues. Obviously,
sometimes you have to be a little forceful. We're talking about any minor somebody says something
about you about your appearance about your money and your ego boosts up. Just be quiet. Don't argue
back lead believe it be our Prophet sallallahu sallam said, I promise a house in the middle of
Jannah I promise a house dead center in Ghana. Listen to this for the one who avoids argument even
when he's upon the house. You have the hack, but he just gives it up. Just don't argue. You have the
hack. But you just give it up. You don't argue. Our professor some said I promised that person
		

			a house in the middle of Jannah that was helpful Jana, which means simple example. Somebody comes
and makes fun of you, the hackers with you. Nobody should make fun of you.
		

			You have the right to say something to defend, you have the right to defend. But you say you know
what? This person is a horrible Majah who needs a job in my job salaam let it be. You eliminate your
ego, you shut your your your your you control your anger, you don't say anything vulgar, and you
stop arguing that to be. Which leads us to the other point directly related to all of this, of the
easy ways to dissipate anger, to not have the consequences of anger is you don't open your mouth.
You see, here's the beauty. If anger remains inside of you,
		

			Eve, even if I know it's there, it won't irritate me. I can see it, it might even amuse me. The
minute you open your mouth, and you express that anger verbally, call us all hope is gone. Correct.
If you notice anger in somebody, what are you going to do? Okay, you're angry. But as long as that
anger is controlled within, and that's why our problems that hadith is authentic. When one of you
gets angry, be quiet. But a simple Hadith. When one of you gets angry, be quiet, do not speak in a
state of anger and you will automatically eliminate 99% of the harm of the anger Subhanallah it's
amazing. anger inside of you is forgiven by Allah and forgiven by mankind. Allah never says in the
		

			Quran, don't get angry. Rather, Allah says praising the believers, while cow we mean those who
control who conceal their anger, the benefit, or the blessing, or the high status is not in the one
who never gets angry. Frankly, it's beyond my control your control to get angry. The high status is
the one who conceals the anger while cow Vinnie is the one who covers up the anger. How do you cover
up the anger you don't express it simple as that. This means the other person might know that you
have the anger, but you simply don't express it in the famous Hadith of the book, the incident of
taboo when the three companions stayed behind when they stayed behind, and they didn't have an
		

			excuse, you know, the story, the famous one, and they came to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam,
finally to make an excuse. And the first one, the one who narrates the whole story, he comes back
and he said I was embarrassed that I presented myself to the process and um, and he smiled, listen
to this phrase, the way that he would smile when he is angry.
		

			Means he knew the Profit System was angry means they could recognize when he was angry. But it also
means when he was angry, he would cover his own anger with a smile. Look at that. And they recognize
the smile that he had when he is angry. He smiled at me the way that he would smile when he is
angry. In other words, when we get angry, we frown. Our day, when the process of got angry. He had a
special smile trying to cover that up the Sahaba they knew him so well. They knew this is the smile
of when he's angry. That's his club SallAllahu ala he was sending even in his anger he would smile
while Khalili mean Allah, you're the one who conceals, the anger does not bring it out. So this is
		

			of the best ways to control the anger and to not show the evil effects. And that is to not speak to
calm down. And by the way, typing on a computer. responding to an email is exactly the same as
speaking. Do not write an email when you are angry brothers and sisters, do not respond to a
Facebook post when you are angry. I speak from experience. Never ever compose an email or write
something or a text message or a WhatsApp message when you are angry. Calm down, relax, follow the
advice of our Prophet sallallahu. Either you ascend them and that is to say our OWI administrator on
the regime to do will do if your anger is immense. If you're standing sit down if you're sitting lie
		

			down, do not speak or write or type or answer a message in a state of anger. No one will blame you
when you are angry. When you control the anger. Even if they can sense you're angry, you are not
blameworthy, but the minute the anger comes out in action, in argumentation in speech in text
messages, that is when the effects take place. We have to be very careful of that bottom line. Dear
Brothers and Sisters, let's follow this beautiful hadith of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
controlling our anger will protect us from the anger of Allah subhanho wa Taala because when we are
angry, we act foolishly and we do things that bring pain and suffering and hurt to other people
		

			unjustly if somebody hurts us one out of 10 and our anger we will respond 10 out of 10 and we all
know that we've all been there done that
		

			and final point, brothers and sisters, especially spouses, especially husbands and wives, control
your anger between each other, not just for the sake of your own marriage for the sake of your
children, make sure you show Rama and mercy and compassion. Dear Brothers dear husbands, winning an
argument at the loss of a marriage is not winning an argument, winning a debate with your wife at
the loss of her love is a loss overall for the both of you. Specially you husbands realize your
words in anger will hurt much more than the other way around. That's the way Allah created us and
them that we have our issues and our weaknesses. But by and large, by and large, we can bear with a
		

			little bit of anger and we can overcome it if we hear it from the other side. But our better halves
our women as our Prophet system said they are fragile vessels, our real he called them crystal
vessels careful careful what we say because that might harm them, as if no claim says In fact, it is
reported from some of the early setup as well, that possibly a word will cause more harm and
physical pain to somebody than a physical beating possibly a word is going to be more painful than
if somebody punched you or hit you what that person said about you might cause more pain, how much
more so if it's the husband to the wife, control your anger, don't see say bad or vulgar or harsh
		

			things to the one who is your life partner and the mother of your children and vice versa sisters as
well control your anger don't speak in the state of anger to husbands this will be beneficial for
yourself and your families and your dean and your dunya May Allah subhanho wa Taala guide us to the
best of luck and make us follow the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Well after
that when hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen we have an announcement here that we have a brother Scott who
accepted Islam two weeks ago And subhanAllah he has been diagnosed with cancer. So make dua for him
that way Allah azza wa jal to cure him in sha Allah, may Allah give him Shiva insha Allah