Waleed Basyouni – Are You Choosing The Right Spouse

			some red flags for those who are married. But I want to start and focus more about those who are in
relationships. And they are consider this person to be a future spouse, if for you as an individual
or for you as parents, when it comes to your children as well, or friends, or somebody asking you so
these are some things that I think you should take it very serious. And hopefully, we can have a
beneficial conversation tonight about this important topic. Because as we all know, it is so
important to
		

			ensure that the next generation among our community, have a stable life, and not to be married to
someone that they just can live with. But they can be married to someone that they can't live
without somebody that they're so attached to somebody that they love so much, and they really build
a strong relationship and a strong family. A strong family means a strong community, strong
community means a strong ummah. Strong, Ahmed means a strong, great future for Islam, and for
Muslims, inshallah dad, and for the country of large as well. So
		

			I know some of the things that I'm going to share with you. And I want to start with this point.
		

			And in my opinion, this one of the most important points of my talk tonight, that so many of I'm
going to tell you, you might know already, something that you are familiar with.
		

			Many people see the sign, they see this red flags clear in front of them, but they ignore it.
		

			And they just don't want to be serious about it.
		

			And I think one of the reasons for many people to do that, it just because they are so deeply in
love with the person and that usually, especially before marriage, and before any Halal way of
building this relationships, it means that there is so much haram already invested in the
relationships they've been if they call it halal date, and I don't call it halal date. I call it
Muslim dating style. Because it's not haram and most of the case, so they go out alone, there is an
excessive type of conversations that is so much love again.
		

			Hello, halwa touching, maybe kissing, hugging, no. So much attachment between him and her. So what
happened when you have that strong attachment to the person, you develop something that called he or
she the only one. And hello, I see for you for yourself. That's the only one out there in the world
for me.
		

			You know what? He is the only one she's the only one absolutely true when you get married.
		

			He is the only one she's the only one. But before you get married, it's so dangerous to have this
mindset. You know, because what what would this mindset do to you and block you from seeing anything
else.
		

			And people when they are so emotionally driven, driven, you cannot come as parents, for example, you
cannot come to start to make logic to them or to speak to them logically because he is already
blocked. He doesn't think with his brain think with his heart where her his or her heart. So you
cannot make any sound logic to them anymore. They are more emotionally driven. So you have to touch
their heart, you have to recognize their feeling. You have to bring them to their common sense, you
know, step by step. So it's not a logical thing as much as an emotional thing. But this is a case
for when you deal with someone in your family or your friends who are so into this even though he or
		

			she see this red flag. But for you yourself.
		

			For those who Allah subhanaw taala did not put them in that level yet in that test yet. If you are a
relationship please make sure that you keep it head on.
		

			Because when you cross the line and you start doing haram things in the relationship, Allah subhanaw
taala punish you and one of the punishment is that you don't see the reverse red flags anymore. And
you keep continuing in this relationship a long way.