Tim Humble – The Muslim Family #50 – Dealing with Difficult Relatives

			What are kulu filco and Elijah E
		

			to four who will carry mouza Lu? Wha colocar La la la de la Lu. Well Mustafa al de
		

			leeuw hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa
sahbihi Germain
		

			going to be talking today about keeping ties with the relatives that don't keep ties with you,
		

			and how to manage difficult relatives and problems that happen among relatives. Abby hurayrah
narrated rhodiola mine and niraj Roland Kyle Yara Salalah in Nelly caraga asilo home Jolla, Qatar on
any RC no la him where you see una la what a normal and home voyage hi Luna la
		

			A man came to the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he said, I have relatives. I
keep ties with them, but they cut off from me. And I'm good to them. But they're bad to me. And I am
forgiving towards them and hate him to not to get angry with them. And not to say things of say
foolish words or or not to, you know, to overlook and to let things go. And they treat me with great
ignorance.
		

			So the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him, let in Quinta Kamara quota for
cat and Matt, to sift for Han and melon.
		

			Well as Allah Mark Mina la vie here on La him, medanta Allah, Allah Allah, the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam said, if it is, as you say, then it is as though you are feeding them with hot
ashes. And you will continue to have the help from Allah against them as long as you remain like
that.
		

			So Pamela, this is how we as Muslims are commanded to be to keep the ties with the ones and the
relatives, even if they don't keep those with us. We're good to them, and they're bad to us. We're
kind to them in their unkind way, gentle and they're harsh. We keep ties and they cut off.
		

			we are required to remain that state. And as long as you remain in that state, you will be in that
situation. You have a help from Allah subhanaw taala help from Allah, even against them any help
from allies. So a jelen you'll be, you'll be the one with the upper hand against them as long as you
keep on responding to them in that way. And the Prophet system described it as like feeding them and
melted any raw mud and horrible, it's like you're putting hot Ramat hot ashes into their mouth. And
some of the scholars they said means that they will.
		

			They will, you know, they'll, it will hurt them, that you're being so kind and so good to them, even
though they're being bad to you. It's like they're the ones who are getting the negativity from it.
However, the stronger opinion is that this refers to the sin that doors people are getting, they're
gonna get sin because they are being bad to you and you're being good to them. They're you treating
them well and overlooking and pardoning them and they are treating you with ignorance and roughness,
so they are getting the sin for it. They are getting the sin for it. And you are getting a help from
a Lost Planet Allah and the Prophet sizes even went to the extent where he showed us that keeping
		

			ties with relatives that cut off from you this is what is considered keeping ties, and I'd love to
even allow sort of the alarm and humor narrated from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he
said Lisa was a little bit more Catholic, whether canal Walsall and live either battiato Rahim
Masada or either kata Rahim who was Allah, I believe and I'm unable to ask for the law and human
rated from the Prophet size and that he said
		

			it's not the one who keeps family ties. The one who does so reciprocally. In other words, one day
keep ties with him so he keeps ties with them. But the one who keeps Family Ties is the one that
when his family cut off from him, he keeps ties with them.
		

			So panela this is suitable to use as a car ada clelia you a complete general principle in dealing
with relatives family members,
		

			with even with people in society with
		

			You're friends, with your co workers, with your neighbors, with anyone that has a right over you.
And that's why well lice is beautiful to bring it in this last lesson that we're going to be doing
on this segment and the last lesson to finish the course in sha Allah to Allah, that it is a copy
that you can take it and you can have it as a principle to guide you in your dealings with other
people lay salewa pseudo bill McAfee
		

			that the one who really keeps ties with people isn't the one who does so when it's reciprocal, the
one that if they give he gifts, if they're kind, he's kind if they think he gives, if they don't
thank him doesn't give. That's not really what Islam tells you to do. And if you do that with
people, and that's your methodology with people, you won't be successful in your dealings with
people. You won't be able to keep good relations with people, and you won't be able to interact with
people, you'll feel hurt by the many, many times you'll feel hurt by them. And you'll find that you
have bad relationships with many people. Because your concept is if they give me I'll give them if
		

			they thank me, I'll help them. And that is not what Islam came with. Lay cell wall syllable, McAfee.
There's none of this issue of one for one.
		

			And that's why we find in an intimate note or a more commonly wedgie. Hila level learn Ori domain
comm jezza and washoku. We only feed you for the sake of Allah, we don't want any reward or any
facts from you.
		

			If you live your life, expecting and waiting for people to reciprocate, waiting for people to thank
you, waiting for people to give you waiting for people to be kind to you because you are kind to
them, then we'll law take it as a mere guarantee that you're going to be disappointed. And you're
going to find your relationships with people generally are poor. And you're also going to find
yourself down and depressed about people in your relationships with people. The simple answer is
forget about all the people and what they do for you. What you do, you do it for a lie soldier. Do
it for a lot and don't wait for people to thank. I can remember examples many examples where I
		

			remembered this idea came to my mind in a monetary more commonly way chilla learner resuming from
jazz and electric Well, we don't want any reward or any thanks from you. Many times in my life where
I can remember this idea. And it came into my mind spotlight you did something and perhaps a person
it's not that they didn't thank you. Perhaps they would insult you. Somehow perhaps they would back
by you. You went out of your way to help a person and then the person didn't deserve the reward they
gave you is they backed by a Jew and slandered you to everybody.
		

			After you went out of your way to help them and you get worked up by and you start seeing this
person you know how could they do this after everything I've done for them stop.
		

			In Amano, Tomoko Johanna, learn odd domain comm Jessa and washoku I want any GSR from you. If you
mash it, do whatever you want. I want my jezza from Allah subhanaw taala I don't want your sugar. I
don't want you to say thank you. I don't mind if you're grateful you're not grateful. Of course if
you do something good for someone and they're grateful Alhamdulillah you feel good about it and
hamdulillah but that's not the purpose. The purpose is what is with Allah. So leave waiting for
people to be good to you. Or my relatives are so difficult because they're not good to me. Doesn't
matter if they're good to you or not. Give your concern to what is with allies or don't give your
		

			concern to what is with people. If you always wait for this
		

			mocha,
		

			this one for one exchange reciprocal kindness. Can you in a wait a very long time with the majority
of any other there are some people who are people of SN and people who are people of a HELOC with
good manners and good etiquettes all of those people will not let you down in the light. But most of
the people you will find that you are good and they are bad. You are kind and they are rude. You are
soft and gentle and they are harsh. You do a sign and they do a sir to you. You do good to them and
they do bad to you. That's what you're going to find from most human beings. Most people are going
to be like that. So never ever wait and remember this card is principle take as a principle
		

			You can live your life by Les salwaar, syllabi, McAfee,
		

			everything with regard to your relationship with your spouse, through God to your children, your
parents, your relatives, your colleagues, your co workers, your neighbors, les salwaar syllable
McAfee, don't expect this everything you do will be reciprocated, that they will do the same back to
you, they will give the same kindness to you and there is an idea or a series of IR three sort of
facilite which give an amazing methodology for dealing with a relative or a family member who you're
finding trouble with them and difficulty with them. A lot so a gel said while our tests that will
happen as well as see either viability here as and for either levy being a carabiner who either were
		

			tuned in who were the you and Jaime one I will call her ella larina. Sabo, when are you will call
her in havin are the remains of under communist Shay piny neskowin Festo, the biller in SME, Ronnie
		

			the good deed and the bad deed are not equal. respond in a way that is better
		

			when you do so, the one that there is emnity between you and them will become like your closest
friend.
		

			If you want to turn the one who is negative or positive, and you want to repair bridges that have
been burned down, and you want to keep ties with your relatives, even when they break ties with you,
either fat bility acid always respond in a way that is better. And that's where you can take that
		

			principle unrelated to the statement of the profit side some laser will also be more careful. And
also to the Heidi that we heard before that or seen or LA him what you see on it, really.
		

			I'm good to them, and they're bad to me.
		

			I keep ties with them. They cut off from me. I speak to them kindly with words of forgiveness,
forgiveness and patience and forbearance and they behave ignorantly towards me.
		

			indefatigability asset, be the one with the moral high ground. Be the one who responds in the best
possible way. Someone treats you badly. treat them well. Someone back by to speak good about them.
Someone says evil about you say good about them. Someone treats you badly treat them well. Someone
causes difficulty for you try to make things easy for them. In fact billet II acid respond in a way
that is better for even Larry bainer kobina who is the one that there is some emnity between you and
them can become like your closest friend like your best ally.
		

			One now you will call her Ellen lettino Sabo, but the people who get this, you won't be not
everybody is able to do this.
		

			Not everybody. In fact, the ayah indicates that a minority of people are able to do this not
everyone has the tofield from Allah to apply edify ability hear us and respond in a way that is
better.
		

			When are you will call her Elon levena Sabo. The only people who will be able to do this other
people have patience. When are you lucky enough to have in our beam, and the one that has a big
giant portion of goods from Allah azza wa jal that's the one who will be able to do it. It's not
easy for you. And it's not easy for people for it to be able to respond to the one that is harsh and
hard towards you with kindness to be able to respond to the one that cuts you off by keeping ties
with them to be able to make ease for the one who made difficulty for you. That's not everyone has
the ability to and that is sooner to never we it's a prophetic methodology. It's how the Prophet
		

			sallallahu alayhi wasallam behaved Salatu was an mRNA and not everybody will be able to do that.
When they will call her a Latina Savile Row one level housing Alvin, why man seven the communist
ship piny nazwa infest I've been there. And when you're trying to do this, if the shape hot causes
you to slip up
		

			the shape on shaytaan causes you to fall below your standards you had set for yourself edify
ability. Yes. And that's what I'm gonna do. They treat me badly, I'm going to treat them well. A
disability asset. I'm going to do that.
		

			But if you sometimes fall short, sometimes you slip up and you didn't do what you wanted. First day
of Billa seek refuge with a law firm a shape or not regime.
		

			I will be learning a shitload
		

			Reaching out to be less semi early initiate on origin, seek refuge with Allah. In West semi writing,
Allah is the one who hears everything. And Allah azzawajal is the one who knows everything. So this
should be the way that we
		

			should be the way that we deal with people. It should be the way that we set ourselves out, to
respond in a way that is better, and to be the ones with the moral high ground. And to realize that
not every time are you able to do is night time are you given the success to be able to do this,
sometimes you slip up. And when you do realize that this is from the shape, that it is something
from the shape that he put between you that you slipped up, and you weren't able to respond in the
way that was better. And the way that was the moral high ground in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala
There is no doubt that this has some fixes to it. There are some areas where you have to apply
		

			various understand to certain understanding, and you have to apply your Islamic knowledge,
particularly when you overlooking and forgiving causes the person to increase in their volume.
Because the Prophet size himself sort of Harker violin, Alma bloomer, help your brother, whether
he's an oppressor and oppressed. And the Sahaba said, we know a messenger of Allah, if he's
oppressed, we should help him. But what about if he's a violin, and the Prophet says and told them
to stop that person from there, stop them from making fun. So there are definitely exceptions and
situations where you might have to take a slightly different approach, if you see that your approach
		

			isn't helping that other person. But still, that approach will not go outside of ineffability hear
us and respond in a way that is better. Because even by sometimes when you have to take a different
approach, or you have to remind the person or you have to give them advice, you're still responding
in a way that is better. The way they're responding to you in terms of being ignorant and behaving
in an ignorant way. And you're responding to them by looking out for their interests, trying to stop
them from their volume and trying to help them to move away from the oppression that they are doing.
You have an excellent example. In use of Elisa. Remember when his brothers were jealous of him. And
		

			they saw that their father yaku, valet salon preferred use of over them.
		

			And they plotted and they kidnapped him, they threw him into the well.
		

			And they told his father that he had been eaten by a wolf. And then Yusuf was taken into slavery and
into Egypt and then into prison. And then he came to be in a position of authority in Egypt. And he
saw his brothers and then even after that, when his brothers said about him, that he had set up a
hula hoops and carbon that use of they said that he had stolen before that they said about his
younger brother that if he stole then use of his other brother used to steal before for a subtle
high use of NFC and use of he kept it in himself and he didn't say anything while me over the hill
at home and he didn't expose it to them.
		

			And then what did he say when he gathered his brothers together? When they said to him in their
color enter yourself or your use of color and I use I abusive and this is my brother? What did he
say Carla? to three but I'm a chameleon. There is no blame on you today. Yellowfin Allahu Allah. May
Allah forgive you. While al Hamra Jaime, and He is the Most Merciful of those who show mercy.
		

			suppiler look at the sub. It said 40 years passed between yours
		

			having the dream that he talked to his father, and between the dream coming true of his father and
his mother entering Egypt, and they bowed to him. And he said, Yeah, but he had a weird way. This is
the explanation of my dream that came before. They said 40 years past 40 years of sub 40 years of
what happened to us in that time. And he said to his brother's lab test three by Lake Como Leone,
Yellowfin Allahu Allahu wa Hammad Rahimi, don't take no blame upon you today. I'm not going to hold
it against you today. May Allah forgive you, and He is the Most Merciful of those who show mercy. I
will let anyone who can implement that with their relatives and their family, and can take that as
		

			their methodology as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did with his enemies,
		

			then this person will be truly truly successful. And Allah subhanaw taala will correct all of the
problems that are between them and ultimately when you correct
		

			What is between you and Allah? That's when our last panel to Allah will correct what's between you
and the people. If your heart is sincere towards Allah lies which will bring about reconciliation.
And the man so Fiona Marina Rahim Allah to Allah He said canon earlier male, female mother, yak to
borner, Babylon 11 illa dialed in? How old? Are you? kitimat? The scholars of the past they used to
write to one another with these words, and Isla hassayampa who are Sleepy Hollow, and any other
whoever correct their inner self and their private self, Allah will correct their public self and
what is from the open what's seen from them in the open on us the hammer Dana, who have been Allah,
		

			Allah, Allah has been our been enough, and whoever correct what is between them and Allah, Allah
will correct what is between them, and between all of the people on an army rally. Here it he Kapha
Hola, hola, Mo dunya. And whoever acts for the ark era, Allah will take care of their dunya. And I
think that's a beautiful quote, to end with an inspiration to leave you all with. And that brings us
to the end of the course on the Muslim family. So Han Allah, we started off with this course
intending to be fairly short. And I remember we discussed it being only a few lessons, a couple of
weeks worth of lessons. And Allah subhanaw taala made it easy for us to cover the content that we
		

			covered. And actually in reality, there was much there are many, many more things that we could have
covered many more things that could have been said. And we have by no means is it comprehensive. And
by no means should it be seen as comprehensive. Actually, there are many highlights that we didn't
cover many statements or the set of salia. Allah we didn't cover many Ayat of the Quran that we
didn't talk about the Tafseer of them on on these different topics. But this is what allies which
made easy for us to mention. Whatever I said in this course, that was correct. That is a grace and a
blessing from Allah subhanaw taala. And whatever I said that was wrong. And that was a mistake. Then
		

			Allah azza wa jal and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, they don't have anything to do with
that. That doesn't mean they shouldn't reflect upon Islam in any way.
		

			There remains one segment of the course inshallah, to Allah, and that is a short q&a be in the later
Allah. So we've asked the students to submit their questions to [email protected]. And to put in the
subject, the Muslim family, no doubt that the there'll be a cutoff point because we there'll be
people who will see this message late and they might send an email after it's already been done. But
they'll come a particular time, a particular date probably will leave a few days for people to send
their questions about the course on the topic of the course, things they might not have understood,
comments, even areas where I might have made a mistake, and they want to highlight that you're more
		

			than welcome. Send an email in Sharla. And we will try to deal with all of that in a q&a episode or
episodes depending on how long it takes and shall allow to either and that will be released some
days after the final episode, in the courses release, which is this one that we're doing right now.
That's what a lot made easy for me to mention. We ask Allah azza wa jal to bless us all, in our
families to correct for us our family ties to correct for us, our spouses and our children, to make
us obedient to our parents and to make us from those who keep ties with their relatives. We ask
Allah to forgive us our mistakes. That's what Allah made easy for me to mention. And Allah knows
		

			best. Wa Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad Ali wasapi
		

			salaam alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the
courses we're going to be wanting, make sure you head over to am [email protected]