Tim Humble – The Muslim Family #05 – Characteristics of an Ideal Husband

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			to carry Moosa Lu wa colocar La La, la de la Lu, while Mustafa de
		

			leeuw Alhambra hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Abdullah he was sola Nabina
Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi h minor Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu. We begin as always
with the praise of Allah and by asking Eliza Joe to exalt dementia to Grand peace, Tao messenger
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and to his family and his companions. We've reached the part in
the course, where we're going to be talking about the characteristics of the Ideal Husband
Charlottetown. We're going to start with the Hadeeth of viharaya rob the Allahu and in which he said
caller Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, either hot lava la con mental Boehner Dena who were
		

			coloca who has a we do a lot of Iota confit netone fill up dfsr on
		

			this Heidi is narrated by remember tirmidhi and a merger,
		

			in which Abu hurayrah said the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, If a man comes
to you to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage, that's the understanding either hot lava la come
someone comes to ask for your daughter or whoever whichever other girl is in your care, someone
comes to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
described that person with two conditions, total bone Edina who will coloca who you are content with
his religion, and his manners feza, which then marry her to him. If you do not, there will be a
great trial on the earth, and great corruption and wide or widespread corruption.
		

			This Hadith really tells us everything that we need to know and in all honesty, every other one of
the characteristics that we're going to mention after this hadith is really just a further
explanation of this Hadith, because ultimately, the characteristics that we're looking for, in the
Ideal Husband, those characteristics can be summarized with a dean and a whole look, religion and
manners. So, to talk about religion, I thought it's interesting to quote a quote and hasn't basally
rahimullah to either that a man came to him and asked and he said, kaupapa Nettie, Gemma femen was a
widow. He said, a group of people have asked, When different people have asked for my daughter's
		

			hand in marriage, who should I marry her to call me Mayor tequila. He said marry her to the one who
has taqwa of Allah. For in a headbutt her a kurama. We're in a blah, blah, ha, let me have a limb
her. He said, If he loves her, he will be good to her.
		

			And if he doesn't love her,
		

			he will not oppress her. If he dislikes her, he will not impress her. So we begin with the sefa
their characteristic which is the characteristic of the dean,
		

			either hot or by la comme mental Bonet Dino wahala. As a widow, if someone comes to you to ask for
your daughter's hand in marriage, and you are content with their Dean, so, as is found in this
narration from a headset, we go back to this and we say that the most comprehensive description of
the deen is at taqwa and taqwa is the most frequent advice that Allah azza wa jal repeats for us in
the Quran. And actually, it's really interesting that in the hood by Tunica, the hood pie that is
read in the new car, typically three ayat or read these three if at all start with the command to
have Taqwa. All of them start with the command to have Taqwa. Yeah, you harness it telco Robuchon,
		

			led Holloman FCM wide in Salta, Nisa, the first iron salty Nisa, then the statement of Eliza gel
insalata Allium Ron Yeah, are you Hi levena Amman Taka la hochkar tokachi while at mo tuna Illa and
to Muslim on all you who believe have Taqwa of Allah as he deserves for you to have Taqwa of Him and
do not die except as Muslims and the statement of a lie. So a gel from silica has add Yeah, you have
levena M and takala
		

			How are kulu Colin said EDA or you who believe have Taqwa of Allah and speak a word that is true. So
these three eyes which are typically read in the hood of the kneecap in the, in the speech of the
kneecap, in which the Nikkor has conducted, those three if all three of them revolve around a taqwa
what Tuscola lady decided want to be he will
		

			have Taqwa of Allah that you ask. Through Him, you ask and you say by Allah asked you for this and
have Taqwa of Allah as it relates to your relatives. So taqwa B is a theme of these ayat that relate
to Nika. So the very first characteristics we're going to start with is the characteristic of taqwa.
And that characteristic of a taqwa. What does it really mean? A taqwa. As some of the scholars
defined it, they said it is to act in obedience to Allah, upon a light of guidance from Allah,
hoping for a loss reward, and to leave disobedience to Allah, upon a light of guidance from Allah
fearing a loss, punishment. So what we see here is that taqwa is based around a being Allah, and
		

			leaving disobedience to Allah. As for the in the language, the word taqwa is to put a barrier it
refers to putting a barrier. So for example, if you were to smash a glass on the floor, and the
glass was smashed into all of those pieces, and then a person was to, in what would you do, if you
smashed the glass on the floor, you put your shoes on, and that concept of putting your shoes on to
stop the glass from scraping your feet from piercing your feet. That linguistically is what we call
taqwa. Putting a barrier between something you between you and something you're scared of. In Islam
it's the put a barrier between the punishment of Allah the anger of Allah, the curse of a line, the
		

			fire, to put a barrier between you, how do you put that barrier by doing what Allah commanded you by
keeping away from what a lot commanded you to keep away from? And one of the things we can take from
this hadith is that the religion has to come first.
		

			has to come first either hot or by ecoman. Total Dona Dino Deen comes first, the religion has to
come first. And that's something which a lot of people maybe don't realize the importance of. They
say of course, we want to look at religion, the person should be should pray, and so on. But maybe
they don't look at that. First, it doesn't come first for them. Maybe first for them comes their
financial situation. First for them comes their family background, you know what kind of family they
come from me first comes for them education, but none of those are supposed to come first in Islam.
what's supposed to come first in Islam and before everything else is the deed. So we look at the
		

			religion before and in front of everything else. After the religion comes to good character. Now
good character is actually a part of religion. Our having good character is a part of your religion
where in NEC Allah Allah hulan, Aleem, indeed, you or Mohammed have the highest standard of
character.
		

			So good character is a part of religion. But at the same time, not only, I mean, good character is
part of religion. But it's mentioned separately here in the Hadith, because a person might not
distinguish between those two things. They might look at a person from the aspect of the religion
that relates to that a bidat. And they're doing what Allah commanded, and so on. And they might look
at that without giving attention to the person's character, or without giving enough importance to
the person's character. And likewise, we, as husbands might do the same thing for ourselves, that we
look at ourselves. And we look at, for example, in terms of just the general acts of worship, the
		

			prayer and so on. And we say, Well, why would my wife have any complaints to make, I pray, I fear
Allah with regard to my income, and so on and so forth. But there is a different aspect to think
about, and it is a part of the religion, but it deserves to be mentioned separately. And that's why
it's given emphasis in the Hadith. And that is a whole look, the person's monus because you can get
people who are very religious in the sense of their practices in terms of themselves, but the way
they deal with other people might not be as religious or as in accordance with Islam. So it's very
important that we don't just look at the issue of the person's prayer, but we also look at their
		

			character, and the hook really is the way that you deal with other people.
		

			can include no doubt, it can include the way that you have your relationship with Allah that can be
included in a hook. But if Dean and Holika mentioned together, then Dean and Eliza knows best, has
more of an emphasis on the person's relationship with Allah subhanaw taala. And hulak has more of an
emphasis on a person's relationship with other people how a person deals with other people. This is
such an important thing. It's so important to the prophets, I think gave it that emphasis Dena who
wahoo Luca, who his religion and his character, so it's not just about his religion in terms of his
relationship with Allah, but it's also about how he treats other people. And nice clear if we're
		

			talking about marriage, we talk about the way that the husband treats the wife, the kind of
character that he has. And we talked about earlier in the previous episodes, we talked about a Noah
and urashima. We talked about affection, we talked about mercy. All of those are things which are
important and come from a person's character. So the person's character is something that we have to
give a lot of attention to. We also, as we mentioned the taqwa. We also have to mention the issue of
a manner of responsibility that a husband should be a person who is responsible for the trust that
has been placed with him. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in the hadith of jabil in
		

			Sahih, Muslim for takala have ENISA for income or have to move on to be a man Illa was the Hillel
tune for Raja hanabi Kalamata Allah, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said in his quote by
that he gave his his speech that he gave the farewell speech in the Hajj is narrated by jab at
rhodiola and the prophet SAW Selim said have Taqwa of Allah with regard to women.
		

			Fatah la huffin Nisa fear Allah with regard to women. So we've already talked about taqwa and what
taqwa is, we talked about a being Allah and not disobeying Allah, as it relates to your families as
it relates to the to your wives. Because and why we know this relates to your wives is because of
the next sentence in which the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said for in Can I have two more
when you have taken them as your wives Be a man Illa entrusted by Allah. Allah has entrusted them to
you. You have been entrusted to look after them and to take care of them. We know the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said is still so be nice it Hira. Treat your wives well or treat your
		

			women. Well. So here it's an Amana be Mr. Neela it's an Amana in the sight of Allah azza wa jal was
the Hillel from Fuji Honda and their private parts became halal for you be Kelly Mattila by the law
of Allah the decree of a lot the word of Allah azza wa jal that Allah subhanaw taala made this
marriage permissible. So as something serious for tequila having Nisa take or have Taqwa of Allah
azza wa jal as it relates to women. And so this is a matter of the characteristic of Ananda, that
the husband should be someone who feels that responsibility of the anona that he has. And especially
when you look at the husband as the head of the household, or you look at the husband as the one
		

			being overall responsible for his family, and we're going to talk about that when we talk about the
dynamics of the family later on in subsequent episodes in Sharla.
		

			The husband as the head of the family is in a position of responsibility. And anyone in a position
of responsibility needs that characteristic of a man. Because when you're in a position of
responsibility, you can use that responsibility in a good way. And you can also abuse that
responsibility. So that brings us to the characteristic of Amana being a person who is a mean,
trustworthy, reliable, responsible, is a good word to use. He's responsible, and he takes seriously
the responsibility of being a husband. He doesn't see it as a reason to abuse his family, his wife,
or abuse, the responsibility that He has for his children. Instead, he uses that responsibility in a
		

			way that is pleasing to Allah consistent with a taqwa. And he's a person who takes it seriously and
considers it something to be important and we spoke about the ayah insalata Nisa, what are haddenham
income? Me Falcon valluvar they've taken from you a weighty oath from the characteristics that are
important to find within the husband is the characteristic of being just we've already spoken about
the idea in sort of UNICEF. We're in Clifton.
		

			To consider to philea Tama Thank you home alto Bella Camilla Nisa, Ms. Now as soon as our Oba
		

			for in Clifton and let it do for our Hadith and Omar malakut a man welcome daddy Kadena alerta,
rudall ayah number three from sorta Nisa, if you fear that you will not be just with regard to the
orphans, then marry whoever you wish or whoever pleases you from women in two and three or four.
		

			And if you fear that you will not be just then one, or whatever your right hands possess. And here
what we want to take is the seminar Lofa in Clifton, l. tattle if you fear that you will not be just
and from this because this is in the context of marriage, we can understand that one of the
conditions and one of the characteristics that should be present within the husband is an adult,
that he should be just, and he should fear, he should your half and lay it, he should be fearful
that he's not being just. And when we talk about justice, there are things that people can be just
in. And there are things that people can't be just in. You can't be just in the affair of the heart,
		

			your heart leans towards whatever. But you can be just in things like the way you spend your time,
the way you spend your money and so on. And that being just as important as a husband and it's
important also as a father. So it's a really important characteristic to find within the Ideal
Husband is to find that characteristic of not only justice, but being fearful, over being unjust,
being scared of being unjust, and always really striving to be just and questioning yourself over
whether you might have fallen short on the issue of being just
		

			from the characteristics that should be within a husband is are those which come under the category
of Alma de or Rama. They come under the character that category of love and mercy. And we've already
spoken about the AI in sort of Rome women AR T and Haleakala come in and forsaken as well generally
tests cuando la her * Bina a commodity and Warhammer in Nevada color is in the komiya tuffa
Corona, from the Ayat of Allah is that Allah is created for you from yourselves spouses so that you
can live with them and find tranquility with them. And Allah has placed between you know, word of
mouth, and Rama. And my word is love and care and affection. And as we said, It's love. Plus, and
		

			it's love, and more and more habit was yada, it's love and more. So it's love in the sense of the
love that exists between the husband and wife. But it's also more than that it's looking out for
them, taking care of them being on their side. These are all words that come under the topic of Elmo
adapt.
		

			And so these are all characteristics that we should expect from a husband, we should expect him to
be loving, to be caring, to be considerate, and to have Rama. So we should expect him to be
forgiving, to have Rachmat meaning that he is he's forgiving. He forgives, he lets things go. And we
know that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam emphasized this in the way that husband treats his
wife, and he spoke about fasthosts will be nice. Treat your women well. And we've come to the Heidi
later on insha Allah to Allah that the woman was created from the rib. And that if you try to
straighten that rib, you're only going to you're only going to break it. So there has to be Rama he
		

			has to be someone who is Rahim is merciful towards his family. And that includes being forgiving, it
includes not taking them to account for every mistake. These are all again, things that should be
present within the husband. And since this ayah talks about the testicle or lay her, we mentioned in
the previous explanation how this really can relate to a compatibility. The husband also has to be
someone who is considerate and someone who is easy to get along with. And that's also can be
understood from the eye as someone who brings peace and tranquility to his wife. So that's also from
the characteristics that you would hope for in a husband from that Heidi would also tell us about
		

			the characteristics that we would hope to be found within the Ideal Husband is the statement of
Fatima up into place she narrated this Hadeeth and she narrated it in Sahih Muslim, and the
background to the Hadith is that she was looking to marry and there had been two people that had
proposed to her and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave her advice about who to accept or
whose proposal to accept. He said as for apple jam, he doesn't leave his stick from his shoulder,
meaning that it's the stuff that authoritative and that he lashes out
		

			And as for Medallia, he is poor. He has nothing to do here it means mulayam lick O'Shea, the person
who doesn't own anything at all. lamola he doesn't have any money in QA or summative and ziet.
Instead, you should marry Osama bin Zayed. She said for Korea, too. She said I didn't really I
wasn't in favor of it. I didn't. I didn't like the idea. So McCall, Inca, he, Osama, he said marry
Osama, she said faneca to pachala la houfy hiera. A lot put so much good in it. Well turned out to
be and people were jealous of me. Because of it. People were jealous of me, because of it. So panela
this hadith contains two things that are should be characteristics from the husband side. And it
		

			also tells us the good that comes from following those characteristics that are indicated within the
Quran and the Sunnah. First of all, these two proposals, as for one of them, was very sort of
authoritarian doesn't leave the stick lashes out. So the opposite of that is that the husband should
be gentle, and he should not be someone that lashes out. And we're going to come to that in another
Hadith also later. And as for the other person, this person didn't have any money to be able to
marry. And we mentioned that when it comes to the issue of money. In Islam, we go in the middle,
we're not going to be extreme and say that the person has to be extremely rich, but they have to
		

			have enough to be able to fulfill the needs of the wife that they're going to take on in take that
responsibility in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
recommended Osama bin Zayed rhodiola and Homer and sama bin Zayed he recommended him clearly stating
that these two things were present within him that he was soft and gentle. And that he had enough to
be able to get married enough to be able to meet the needs of Fatima have interface or the alarm on
her. He said marry Osama bin Zayed and when she followed that advice, she said for jarle Allahu
Allah, Allah put so much good in it, and that people were jealous of her, you know, in a good way.
		

			But many people were people had you know, people were jealous of the good that she had from that
marriage. From that Heidi that also tell us one of the characteristics of a husband is the hadith of
Ayesha rhodiola and her she said cannon Wu sallallahu alayhi wa sallam either Sala rock it federal
for include Tomas de la 10 had death any were in that culture.
		

			She said Ravi Allah,
		

			the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to when he had prayed the tool rock at that come before
fetcher.
		

			He would look to see if I was awake. And if I was awake, he would sit and talk with me. And
otherwise he would lie down.
		

			And we know the hadith of it that we mentioned already from Sahil Buhari, can a corner of humanity
alley, that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was in the service of his family. So that's also
a characteristic that you look for in a husband, someone who's going to be who wants to spend time
with his family, who's going to sit and talk with them, someone who's going to be in the service of
his family, can if you can a corner for humanity early, he was serving his family, feel free to
Matteoli looking after them. And that's also a characteristic that you look for a person to have
that feeling that he should be the one to serve his family, that he should be the one looking after
		

			his family, and that he should want to give time to spend and talk with his wife. And look at how
the prophets I seldom used to be, he came he would want to lie down because the evidence for that is
that if he wasn't awake, he would lie down, he would want to lie down but instead he would look to
see if he was awake and if she was awake, he would sit and talk with her. And if she wasn't awake,
then he would lay down. So that kind of characteristic within a person that a person has that care
over their family that a person wants to spend time talk with their family and a person wants to
serve their family and sees it as their responsibility in the sight of Allah to do so. One of the
		

			characteristics which is very important and we can take this characteristic from sort of zoom out
from a number nine Eliza gel he said a men who are corny and lady said you don't walk or Emma you
will hear right away or draw rock metal or be quill * yes that will lead in a Muna will Levine
Allah Allah mon in Mia attack capital L BB Lysa which has said as for the one who stands in
obedience at night, praying
		

			Standing, fearing the hereafter and hoping for the mercy of his Lord, say, are those who know equal
to those who don't? The only only people of understanding will remember. And this is the
characteristic of knowledge. And I mentioned this separately from the others because it isn't
necessarily on the topic of marriage as such. But I felt it's so important. And the reason I think
that knowledge is so important is that husband is going to take his position as the head of the
family. He's going to be the one responsible for his wife, and the one responsible for his children.
And if he doesn't have knowledge, then how will he be able to judge in matters justly? And how will
		

			he be able to fulfill the Amana that is upon him? How will he be able to make the right decisions
about his family, about his wife about his children, if he doesn't have knowledge, and here in the
eyes, the reason I chose this ayah from Salta, Zuma is that it links knowledge to action. Knowledge
is not something which is just theoretically he knows or he knows what a husband should be like, but
he knows and he practices. So here perhaps we could say the characteristic is knowledge that is
adorned with action, knowledge that comes along with that comes along with action. I just have a
couple more characteristics that I want to mention before we conclude the episode. The first one
		

			shout out to Allah is a riff will lien softness and gentleness. And for this we have a hadith
narrated by Al Bukhari and Muslim the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said, water your
Angelica, be gentle with the camels when when you have on board the fragile vessels. Here, Alcoa
real are those refers to the women and the prophets, I said, we used the word colorear, like the
fragile glass. So the Prophet size M is commanding Angelica here to be gentle. And that is something
that whenever we're dealing with the whenever we're dealing with our wives, we're dealing with the
women in our household, we have to bear that in mind. Even though Angelica was driving camels and
		

			the women were on board, the camels were riding on the camels and he was told to drive them softly.
The fact that the Prophet seisen described them as Alcoa to the fragile vessels or the glass that is
subject to being broken. And that is something which teaches us the importance of gentleness. The
last thing that I'm going to mention in sha Allah to Allah is a statement of the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam to a judge, who is a judge Abdullah case. He said in Africa for slitting your hip
boom, Allah, Allah haimo. Well, Anna, he said, there are two qualities that you have that Allah
loves. And again, this is not specific to marriage. But I feel that this is very appropriate in
		

			marriage, and health. Well, Anna, and I'll help him his top two neffs contract controlling yourself,
being not not just patient because it's not a sub alcohol is to have control of yourself, to
forgive, not to punish quickly not to get angry quickly, to be highly and to be a person who is in
control. And a person who doesn't get angry or doesn't let their anger overcome them. And Anna,
which is taking things slowly, not rushing to make decisions. And this is so appropriate when it
comes to marriage. There are so many things about this we could talk about when it comes to
marriage. But I believe that's a very important characteristic to have within the husband. For him
		

			to be someone who is in control of himself. He doesn't get angry quickly. He doesn't throw the talaq
out quickly. He isn't a person who threatens quickly, but he's a person who takes things slowly and
when he's asked him to make a decision. He thinks about that decision carefully, and makes that
decision slowly takes his time. These are two things that are beloved to Allah azza wa jal as the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, That's all we have time for in this episode analyzer
generals bestel salatu salam ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi edge May, a Salaam Alaikum.
If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're
		

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